How to Improve at Using Stringers (Bows) in Splatoon 3

Posted on by Alicia Haddick

Stringers, sometimes known as bows, are the newest weapon type introduced to Splatoon 3 and making their debut in this new title. As a result, many players may not know how to use this new and unique weapon type, how to get the most out of its functionality, and what to partner this weapon with in order to get the maximum functionality from the bow and take down opponents.

This guide is here to help with that by offering everything you need to know to use Stringers in Splatoon 3, from the very basics of how these weapons work to which modes and strategies will maximum splats and victories.

How to Use Stringers (Bows) in Splatoon 3

Stringers or bows in Splatoon 3 function as mid-to-longe range weapons that acts as a precise bow offering a range of attack options against an opponent. Two bows are currently available for players to use in Splatoon 3, but both function similarly to one another.

Stringers have one of three attacks depending on how long you hold the ZR button to fire a shot. Tapping the ZR button essentially functions as a way to ink turf, firing a short-range wide triple-shot directly in front of you that inks the turn around you. This will not deal much damage to an opponent and should only be used in last-ditch short-range combat due to its rapid fire capability when the enemy is directly in front of you. To effectively use the bow you will want to fire from a distance and use the charged attacks, which vary depending on how long you charge the bow.

Holding the ZR button until the first circle around the aiming reticle in the center of the screen has filled up will fire a mid-range shot directly in front of the player. This will fire in a narrower radius to the initial shot fired by the bow, but will travel a longer distance. By holding the bow until the shot has charged fully, this longer-range attack will travel even further again, allowing you to attack enemies and ink turf that is even further in front of the player than even a partially-charged shot is capable of doing.

What are the Different Types of Stringers (Bows) Available in Splatoon 3

As of Splatoon 3’s launch there are a total of two stringers available for players to use. These are:

  • Tri-Stringer (Unlocked at Level 4)
  • REEF-LUX 450 (Unlocked at Level 10)

Both of these stringers function strikingly differently depending on the option chosen. The REEF-LUX 450 is designed for closer-range combat as a fast-charge, fast-firing weapon. This is supported by its Curling Bomb sub-weapon, which not only acts as a bomb that can travel along the ground but can also be used to push further into enemy territory by swimming in the bomb’s ink trail.

The Tri-Stringer is designed as a long-range combat weapon similar to a sniper, but with a different firing frequency and ink trajectory. While a sniper will fire a straight line of ink directly in front of the player from its initial firing location, the Tri-Stringer will fire an arked shot that will only minimally ink the floor on its journey. When the semi-charged or fully-charged tri-shot lands, however, the triple shot from the archery shot will explode in a small radius around the landing point, dealing up to 84 points of damage depending on how close an enemy is to the exploding shot.

This makes it a weapon that can act as a great counter to enemy snipers by forcing them to move from their position in enemy territory while firing from a distance, as well as being particularly useful in Tower Control as an explosive deterrent to opponents considering approaching the tower.

What are the Best Support Abilities to Use for Stringers (Bows)?

As you will spend much of your time using this weapon outside of the ink firing at enemies from a distance, we feel that Run Speed (Up) is the best support ability for Stringers in Splatoon 3. This allows the firer to remain agile while above ground to avoid enemy attacks and get into position to fire a shot of their own.

Similarly, the improved accuracy after jumping offered by Intensifying Action makes it an optional support ability we would recommend being used in a minimal capacity of 1-2 support slots in any clothing ability composition used to compliment the Stringer weapon.

As a mostly-distance shooter who will in theory rarely be splatted due to not appearing on the front lines, it is likely that you will regularly charge your special. The Tenta Missiles of the REEF-LUX 450 and Killer Wail 5.1 of the Tri-Stringer are both powerful special that, if using the weapon correctly, will be fired multiple times during a match. Therefore, we can strongly recommend the use of Special Power Up to your composition.

The Stringers in Splatoon 3, due to the small amount of ink fired with each shot and the little ground they cover with these shots, uses little ink per shot, while the Tri-Stringer is supported by Toxic Mist rather than a conventional bomb. With this in mind, we would not recommend the use of Ink Saver (Main) or (Sub), as well as Sup Power Up for this weapon type at this time as it is mostly unnecessary. If more weapons release in the future with different support abilities the use of Ink Saver (Sub) may be considered, but neither of these weapons will benefit much from their usage.

Explosive Arrows For Ranged Damage With Tri-Stringer

The Tri-Stringer in Splatoon 3 benefits from the addition of explosive tips when a charged shot is fired from the weapon. We recommend this is used to deal area damage to groups of enemies when firing from a safe distance, as well as fired near walls to damage enemies hiding behind them.

Depending on how close the enemy is to the shot these small explosions can deal up to 84 points of damage out of 100 needed to splat an opponent, making them deadly when used correctly as well as a deterrent that can control certain areas of the map by keeping opponents, particularly snipers, away.

This is particularly useful on maps with a lot of vertical terrain and maps with walls that can allow players to hide from your direct line of sight but may be hiding behind walls until they have charged their own weapon or are ready to fire a shot. A particularly good example of this style of map is on Scorch Gorge, which includes a large central platform and numerous high platforms at either side of the map’s center that guide players along a set path or a wall climb towards the center.

Firing charged shots towards the edges of these walls provides an opportunity for you to grab occasional splats from enemies who may think they are safely hidden behind the walls.

What Modes are Best Suited to Using Stringers (Bows) in Splatoon 3?

Due to the low ink coverage of Stringers in Splatoon 3, we do not recommend these weapons are used in Turf War, instead recommending these weapons in Tower Control or Rainmaker. These modes are best for the weapon as in each mode players are being guided towards a certain location by an objective and there is one singular focal point where quickly defeating an enemy before they reach a certain position is imperative in order to avoid defeat.

In Tower Control, the Tri-Stringer is useful for its explosive capabilities when fired directly towards the tower as a deterrent and damage output attack similar in strength to that of a bomb when exploding and hitting an enemy within its radius. In Rainmaker, attacking an opponent edging towards the checkpoint or goal on a set path could stop them from progressing by splatting them in their tracks or making it easier to pick off support players protecting the Rainmaker on its journey.

Which is the Best Stringer (Bow) in Splatoon 3?

Of the two Stringers currently available in Splatoon 3 we recommend the use of the Tri-Stringer, thanks to its longer range and explosive charged shots. This allows the weapon to better fit within its long-range support slot within a competitive non-Turf War team composition that can effectively crowd-control enemy snipers and opponents by blocking certain sections of the map from traversal with explosive-tipped archer shots.

This not only makes it possible for you to get splats from any player who chooses to ignore your controlling shots, it also makes it easier for opponents to know where enemies are going to be while not having to deal with snipers who could pick them off when making an offensive.

This is an all-new weapon type introduced with Splatoon 3, and as the game continues to be updated it is possible that the game could receive further updates that allow for greater variety in playstyles with this unique weapon type. Stringer weapons offer the opportunity to fire shots where it was previously impossible for other weapon types to reach thanks to its long-range arched shots, making it possible the weapon could evolve to further uses over time. As of now, its controlling presence makes ti a force to be reckoned with.

Happy splatting!

Jonathan Banks Shoehorns Monologue Into Shakespeare Production About Macbeth’s Past as a Philly Cop

Posted on by Camden Brazile

NEW YORK — Audience members of a Broadway production of Shakespeare’s Macbeth were pleasantly delighted by the celebrity casting of Jonathan Banks in the title role, until the actor instinctively ad-libbed a monologue about being a cop from Philly.

“Back when I was on the force,” Banks began, wildly off-script. “We had a way of dealing with people like Banquo. Philly is a cold city. Real dark. Someone like Banquo or Fleance could go missing and nobody would bat an eye. Course all us cops were dirty back then; to a Philly cop the dirtiest thing is being clean. That’s what fellas like King Duncan just can’t understand, this world is all shades of gray, and even an ex-cop can’t be trusted as the Thane of Cawdor. Thou best not take half measures.”

The director of the production, Nicole Welsh, claimed the outburst was the best she could manage given the circumstances.

“Anytime he speaks for longer than thirty seconds, that just starts to happen,” Welsh said. “I found out that both his characters in Breaking Bad and Community were never supposed to even have much of a back story before he compulsively improvised a long-winded story about what he learned as a Philly man in uniform.”

Sources at the show reported that Banks also struggled with the crippling remorse Macbeth has for the men he kills.

“Ya know something, Lady Macbeth?” a reeling Banks stoically began in the second act. “These men had it comin’. They were in the game. I’m not gonna imagine a dagger or a severed head, because part of being a criminal is having a code. A dirty cop is no better than an honorable thief.”

At press time, sources noted that despite Banks having a breakdown and giving a career-shattering error, he never opened his eyes past halfway the entire three hour performance.

6-Hour YouTube Video Essay Doesn’t Have Time to Get Into That Right Now

Posted on by Zack White

NEW YORK — Popular YouTuber GTalksGames hit a snag in their latest video, the 6-hour long “Civilization: Beyond Earth In Hindsight,” finding themselves unable to cover all relevant material without taking the video to an exorbitantly long runtime.

“It’s a real shame,” GTalksGames explained across several jump cuts, “but with the bulk of the video, the two hours I spent explaining what a 4X game is, the hour I listed the best 4X games, and the 50 minutes going into the history of hexagonal tiles, I was left with so little time to get into MapGate, which is when the map switched from the bottom right to bottom left of the screen. I would love to get into this gripping story in another video, but it has to be one where I feel like I can dedicate the time that it deserves. MapGate isn’t some trivial matter, of course.”

According to Michigan State University journalism professor Dr. Jan Frunks, the issue of brevity vs. thoroughness is a constant battle for writers.

“When you’re writing a piece to be informative, there is an instinct to include every single detail you uncover, but if you do that, the piece will be bloated and unreasonable,” Dr. Frunks said. “I commend GTalksGames for finding the right balance, and completely agree that the extra segment would have put the piece over the line between robust and swollen. I watched their entire video on Civilization: Beyond Earth, and at 6:04:22, I think it hit the exact perfect length. I wouldn’t add or remove a second.”

Fan reactions have been mixed, with some appreciating the value placed upon their time and some mourning the loss of context and content.

“This is honestly horseshit,” viewer Tom Mudd said. “I watched this video specifically to hear about MapGate, and there was not a single thing about it. What was the point of talking about the game if you didn’t even bring it up? I spent nearly an entire work day just watching this thing at my desk and it just made the whole thing feel like a waste of my time.” 

At press time, GTalksGames was compiling notes on the subject for an extra two and a half hour long video to be released to his Patreon.

Splatoon 3 Collectibles: How to Customise Your Splashtag

Posted on by Daniel Solomon

You fancy playing a bit of Splatoon 3, and drop into a nice casual match of Turf War. You think oh, these players look cool, their little card dealios on the loading screen are all neon and edgy. Three minutes later, and you’ve been thoroughly routed by a team led by an Attention-Seeking Shirt Model and their Aspiring Sidekick. Aspiring. You’re furious. And there’s only one thing to be done – make a better Splashtag yourself.

Your Splashtag consists of three elements: badges, banners, and titles. These are accessible in the little terminal in the lobby, next to the entrance to the online modes. And now if you wanna make like Ash Ketchum and complete your collection – that is his catchphrase right? – then grab your reading glasses.. 

How to Unlock All Badges in Splatoon 3

Players have found over 250 badges in Splatoon 3 so far. That’s a buttload in both imperial and metric measurements. And here’s how to get ‘em all:

Turf War and Anarchy Battle Badges

 Tier 1 Tier 2Tier 3
Judd BadgeWin 50 Turf War matchesWin 250 Turf War matchesWin 1,200 Turf War matches. Ouch. 
Anarchy Battle Rank BadgeReach rank AReach rank SReach Rank S+
Clam Blitz BadgeWin 100 Clam Blitz matchesWin 1000 Clam Blitz matchesN/A
Rainmaker BadgeWin 100 Rainmaker matchesWin 1000 Rainmaker matchesN/A
Splat Zones BadgeWin 100 Splat Zones matchesWin 1000 Splat Zones matchesN/A
Tower Control BadgeWin 100 Tower Control matchesWin 1000 Tower Control matchesN/A

Splatfest Badges – Splatoon 3 Splashtag

 Tier 1Tier 2
Conch BadgeReach Fun Ruler rank in a SplatfestN/A
Tricolor Attacker BadgeWin one Tricolor Turf War match as an attackerWin ten Tricolor Turf War matches as an attacker
Tricolor Defender BadgeWin one Tricolor Turf War match as a defenderWin ten Tricolor Turf War matches as a defender

Salmon Run Badges

  Tier 1Tier 2Tier 3Tier 4
Grizzco Points Badge Earn 10,000 Grizzco PointsEarn 100,000 Grizzco PointsEarn 9,999,999 Grizzco PointsN/A 
Salmon Run stage Badges*Reach Eggsecutive VP 200Reach Eggsecutive VP 400Reach Eggsecutive VP 600Reach Eggsecutive VP 999
Salmon Run Boss Badges**Beat the boss 100 timesBeat the boss 1000 timesBeat the boss 10,000 timesN/A
Cohozuna BadgeBeat Cohozuna 10 timesBeat Cohozuna 100 timesBeat Cohozuna 1,000 times. Ugh.N/A
Hazard Level MAX BadgeFinish a shift at Hazard Level MAXN/AN/AN/A

*you’ll have to earn this on Gone Fission, Sockeye Station, and Spawning Grounds separately.

** and you’ll have to do this for each of the Salmon Run bosses: Big Shot, Drizzler, Fish Stick, Flipper-Flopper, Flyfish, Maws, Scrapper, Slammin’ Lid, Steel Eel, Steelhead, and Stinge. That’s 110,000 murders for your collection of gold badges here. 

Splatoon 3 Splashtags: Shopping Badges

 Tier 1Tier 2Tier 3
Marigold BadgeBuy 10 bits of food and drinkBuy 100 bits of food and drinkBuy 1,000 bits of food and drink
Shop Badges*Spend 100,000 at the shopSpend 1,000,000 at the shopN/A
Murch BadgeOrdered 10 things from MurchOrdered 100 things from MurchN/A
Catalog BadgeReach catalog level 50Reach catalog level 100N/A

*again, this is for each of ‘em: Naut Couture, Man-o’-Wardrobe, Crush Station, and Hotlantis.

Gear Badges

 Tier 1Tier 2Tier 3
Weapon Badges*Earn 4-star freshness with a weaponEarn 5-star freshness with a weaponN/A 
Brand Badges**Get 30 stars in a brand’s gearGet 100 stars in a brand’s gearN/A
Special Weapon Badges***Win 30 matches with a specific special weapon equippedWin 180 matches with a specific special weapon equippedWin 1,200 matches with a specific special weapon equipped

*yes, again, each. Read our best weapons tier list for their names.

**you know the score by now. These are all listed here.

***yep. each.

Tableturf Battle Badges

 Tier 1Tier 2Tier 3
Tableturf Battle Rank BadgeReach rank 30Reach rank 40Reach rank 50
Tableturf Battle Collection BadgeCollect 90 cardsCollect 120 cardsCollect 150 cards
Tableturf NPC BadgeBeat all level 3 Tableturf playersN/AN/A

Story Mode Badges

Mercifully, finally, there are only five more to tell you about from playing the story mode. They are:

  • DJ Octavio Badge: beat DJ Octavio at the end of the first major area.
  • Cap’n Cuttlefish Badge: complete the campaign. 
  • Callie Badge and Marie Badge: max out your hero level.
  • Mr. Grizz Badge: beat the secret kettle, once you’ve seen the credits roll. 

But we ain’t done yet – let’s get into finding the rest of your Splashtag drip.

How to Unlock Banners and Titles For Splatoon 3 Splashtags

Splatoon 3 Customizable Splashtags

There’s currently 99 banners, and well over a thousand titles. What’s the unit of measurement higher than a buttload? A life’s work, maybe? 

To get a quick one with some bragging rights out of the way, you unlock the title of Alternan World Champ for beating the story. Here’s the rest:

Catalog Level Rewards: Banners and Titles

As you may have seen in our guide on the subject, the catalog has a bunch of banners and titles up for grabs. These are the levels that Harmony will be handing out a banner as a reward:

1, 13, 26, 37, 44, 64, 78, and 97. 

And you’ll get a new title at these levels:

2, 18, 33, 38, 47, 54, 57, 67, 73, 85, 93, and 96.

The Shell-Out Machine: Banners and Titles

Right in between the food vendor and the locker room in the lobby is Splatoon 3’s very own bit of gacha, the Shell-Out Machine. You can trade in conch shells here for a prize, or pay for the privilege: 5.000 for your first go a day, and 30,000 for each subsequent go.  

The prizes are random, and not exclusive to banners and titles – you’ll end up with more food tickets than you can count – but they are in there. Honestly. 

Tableturf Battle Banners

For the real completionists, you need to get stuck into Tableturf, Splatoon 3’s in-game card game. It’s tucked away near the lobby, and if you play enough, you’ll net a banner for reaching level 10, 25, and 46.

Salmon Run Banners for Splatoon 3’s Splashtags

The last source of your Splashtag customisation comes from your labours at Grizzco. To unlock these though, you’ll need to keep reaching round 4 of Salmon Run, and collect bronze, silver, and gold scales by landing hits on the King Salmonid – though the odds of him spawning in are somewhat slim. Keep on grinding for gilded fish bits though and you’ll bag some banners for your efforts.

There you have it. Zero excuses for looking like a god-damn filthy casual.

Splatoon 3 Collectibles: Catalog Rewards

Posted on by Daniel Solomon

You’ll no doubt have seen that you now have two levels in Splatoon 3; one being your player level, and the new catalog level. This serves as a sort of free battle pass equivalent, as you earn experience towards it by doing pretty much anything in the game save for the single player, and each tier you reach nets you something or other, which we get into below. 

And much like a battle pass, this first catalog in Splatoon 3 runs until 7pm EST on November 30, 2022, at which point there will presumably be 100 new rewards to grind out, and writers everywhere will sigh at the labor involved in updating you all on them. 

Once you do bump up a catalog level, all you need to do to claim your prize is hop over to Hotlantis, the general store run by Harmony, who is… less than enthusiastic about her role. Hotlantis opens up to you at player level 4. 

Another thing to note is that for every catalog level you gain during a Splatfest Sneak Peak – the week or so in which you can sign up for your Splatfest team before the event actually kicks off – you’ll earn a conch shell, which you can use for a go on the Shell-Out Machine. As Ari says, gimme the loot. 

All Splatoon 3 Drizzle Season 2022 Catalog Rewards

As for what the things in the below table actually are: decorations and stickers go in your locker. Titles are unfortunately a mystery until you unlock them, as are (most) banners, so you’ve been robbed of quips by Nintendo there. You give Food/Drink Tickets to the food and drink vendor in the lobby for food, and drink, and Tableturf Battle Cards are booster packs for that surprisingly fun little side game. Emotes are your poses at the start and end of a match – and Mystery Boxes house either 10k cash, Tickets, or Ability Chunks. Everything else is equippable gear. 

So with that out of the way, here you go – all the Catalog Rewards for Drizzle Season 2022, painstaking notated from the Nintendo Switch Online app, where you could have looked this all up yourself:

1: Banner 21: Punk Pinks 41: Skipjack Work Boots 61: Cuttlefish Sandies 81: Blue Shrimpsiders
2: Title 22: Sticker – rad old school diving helmet 42: Food Ticket 62: Decoration – cute little model of Smallfry, your exploding pal from the campaign 82: Sticker – some Splatlandian letters in white
3: Emote – cross your arms and look moody af.  23: Tableturf Battle Cards 43: Tableturf Battle Cards 63: Drink Ticket 83: Drink Ticket
4: Food Ticket 24: Food Ticket 44: Banner  64: Banner 84: Tableturf Battle Cards
5: Studio Headphones 25: Mystery Box 45: Decoration – an absolutely horrifying adult human male looking squidling 65: Tableturf Battle Cards 85: Title
6: White Tee 26: Banner  46: Sticker – some indecipherable words in green and white 66: Sticker – an astronaut helmet, for the space cadets 86: Sticker – a fish having an X-ray; hope they’re alright x 
7: Pink Trainers 27: Decoration – target practise guy keychain 47: Title 67: Title 87: Tableturf Battle Cards
8: Tableturf Battle Cards 28: Sticker – some tasty fish bones 48: Drink Ticket 68: Tableturf Battle Cards 88: Food Ticket
9: Sticker – little windows dialogue box looking guy 29: Pilot Goggles 49: Fresh Card Pack – some shinies in here maybe?  69: Classic Straw Boater 89: Glassless Glasses
10: Decoration – target practise squid thing that you shoot in the lobby 30: Zink Layered LS 50: Mystery Box 70: Annaki Bracelet Tee 90: Distressed Vest
11: Food Ticket 31: Purple Hi-Horses 51: Emote – Rodin’s The Thinker 71: Red Hammertreads 91: Ink Black Clam Dunks
12: Tableturf Battle Cards 32: Drink Ticket 52: Sticker – another windows dialogue box dealio  72: Food Ticket 92: Decoration – target practise guy with his head blown off keychain
13: Banner 33: Title 53: Tableturf Battle Cards 73: Title 93: Title
14: Sticker – red squidling head graffiti 34: Tableturf Battle Cards 54: Title 74: Decoration – big red crab with a pure look of joy on his face  94: Sticker – some indecipherable words in blue and green
15: Emote – hands on hips,  also fairly moody 35: Emote – the moody crouch 55: Sticker – some kinda head and headphones in red, I think? 75: Mystery Box 95: Drink Ticket
16: Drink Ticket 36: Sticker – some indecipherable words in purple and red 56: Food Ticket 76: Emote – a decidedly less moody fist in the air 96: Title
17: Tableturf Battle Cards 37: Banner  57: Title 77: Tableturf Battle Cards 97: Banner – some morbid fish bone arrangement, which is not a secret for some reason
18: Title 38: Title 58: Tableturf Battle Cards 78: Banner 98: Emote – dab on them folks! 
19: Air Gills DX 39: Retro BluFocals 59: Beachcomber 79: Retro Framers 99: Mystery Box
20: Tentatek Tandem 40: Lime BlobMob Tee 60: Sudadera Celeste 80: Lime Battlecrab Shell 100: Triple Deck Specs

 

“Magic: The Gathering Is Like Crack” Says Man Who Has Never Been Addicted to Crack

Posted on by Peter Casciato

LOS ANGELES — Local Magic: The Gathering player Doug Mullins has compared his enjoyment of buying and opening packs of cards to that of the high of crack-cocaine, despite the fact that he has never once been addicted to the hard drug. 

“There’s a gambling element involved in opening packs that just gives me such a dopamine rush,” said Mullins, who tried weed once in college but wasn’t a fan. “That’s why lots of people like to call it cardboard crack. It’s basically the exact same thing as that. Sometimes I see someone who’s clearly addicted to crack, and I think, damn. I know exactly how that feels.”

When pressed on this point, Mullins, who is nervous to take over the counter painkillers, doubled down.

“I mean it can totally be an addiction just like any other. I once spent $300 on Throne Of Eldraine Boosters trying to pull an Oko, Thief of Crowns,” Mullins explained. “Worst part was, I didn’t even get it.  If that’s not an addiction, then what is? I mean with crack, at least you usually get the thing you were trying to get. So that might not even be as bad as not getting Oko!”

However, many who have tried both Magic: The Gathering and crack, said that the similarities were only surface level. 

“I certainly see how one could compare opening packs to gambling, but to crack? I don’t know,” said local crack addict Mason Charles. “I tried Magic, and it was a lot of fun making pretend goblins fight each other, but it’s nothing close to facing an 8-ball in a rented motel room and then spending six straight hours masturbating. Magic players are grimier, sure, but it’s not the same.”

As of press time, Mullins, who thinks beer tastes “kind of gross,” was debating spending $20 on a Domina United Collector Booster, money that anyone who smoked crack, would have quickly exchanged for more crack.

Dr. Oz Mods ‘Fallout 4’ So He Can Kill Dogmeat

Posted on by Andy Holt

HARRISBURG, Pa. — Retired surgeon and political candidate Mehmet Oz allegedly modded the video game Fallout 4 so he could murder Dogmeat in cold blood, leaked game files confirm.

“This mod removes the ‘essential’ tag on your canine companion Dogmeat, so that you can torture him and then kill him. Or do experiments on him and then kill him. Or, heck, just whip out a pistol and do the deed right there at Red Rocket — whatever sick shit you want,” reads the NexusMods description for the mod, titled KILL Dogmeat!! (for science!!). “The mod comes with a lab coat for your character, so you don’t have to feel bad about it.”

Oz’s opponent for the U.S. Senate, John Fetterman, was quick to respond to the allegations.

“Personally, I love Dogmeat and would never harm him in any way. I even hunted down all the dog armor for him to wear, plus I always use a Stimpak to heal him in battle—even though there’s no risk of him actually dying,” said Fetterman, who released a full accounting of his Fallout 4 save files. “I just don’t want him to suffer. Unlike some people.”

The Oz campaign denied that their candidate was directly responsible for any harm to Dogmeat, claiming the mod was one of many he had installed.

“Dr. Oz just likes to use mods so he can roleplay as wacky characters. It’s true that his current character started out as a doctor who murders animals, but eventually he got bored with that and tried out some other mods,” said campaign manager Casey Contres. “Now, he’s playing as a radio host who also sells dangerous chems and is running for mayor of Diamond City. That one took a whole lot of mods, but he’s having fun — and that’s what matters.”

Further investigation showed that Oz’s character had sided with the Institute in the main quest, describing them as “morally impeccable” and “obviously the good guys.”

Overwatch 2: Easy Heroes For New Overwatch 2 Players

Posted on by Kanishka Thakur

Overwatch 2 is just around the corner and many players will be hopping on to the game for the first time ever. While players who played the first title in the series will be familiar with almost the entire cast, new players will be on unfamiliar grounds. Unlike most other FPS titles, Overwatch 2 feels like a cross between a shooter and a MOBA. Choosing the right heroes to master can be daunting as there are dozens of options available. Let’s take a look at different types of players and what Overwatch 2 easy heroes would suit them the best. Here are the best beginner-friendly Overwatch 2 characters for DPS, Tank, and Support players.

Soldier: 76 – For FPS Players Who Want to Feel Right at Home

Overwatch 2 Easy Heroes soldier 76

If you are familiar with FPS titles and love using full-auto weapons, Soldier: 76 will make you feel right at home. Soldier: 76 has the ability to sprint, heal himself and his allies, deal decent amounts of damage, and has an ultimate that literally gives you an aimbot.

Soldier: 76 is your typical hitscan DPS hero with a very simple kit. His damage output is quite solid at close to medium range but you will experience drop-off at longer ranges. While other heroes may have flashy movement abilities that allow them to relocate, Soldier: 76 has a sprint that allows him to move much faster.

His Helix Rockets can allow you to finish off targets or burst down enemies before they can heal or get behind cover. It is a fantastic tool and can give you an edge when taking 1v1s. His Biotic Field can be used to heal himself or allies that stand on it. It can be very useful when dueling other characters and can give you enough HP to outlive your opponent.

Finally, his Tactical Visor allows you to get an aimbot for several seconds. All you need to do is aim at the vicinity of enemies and you will land all your shots. You still have the ability to land headshots during the Ultimate if you manually adjust your aim which is meant to reward high-skilled players.

Reinhardt – Overwatch 2 Easy Heroes

Overwatch 2

It was hard to choose between Reinhardt and Winston for this one, but we eventually settled on Reinhardt. While Winston’s kit seems much simpler on paper, it can be very easy to overextend as a new player with our beloved scientist.

No one in Overwatch can match Reinhardt’s hammer or his shield. With proper shield management, you can mitigate tons of damage with Reinhardt and unlike Overwatch (2016), Reinhardt is very resistant to knockback.

Fire Strike is Reinhardt’s most reliable way to generate Ultimate charge. If you keep landing your Fire Strikes on multiple enemies, you will charge your Ultimate in no time. The ability can pierce barriers, enemies, and other damageable objects in the game, making it very strong.

Earthshatter is Reinhardt’s Ultimate and it can single-handedly win fights if your team follows up with some damage. It knocks down all enemies in front of the casting area and you can follow up with Fire Strike and a few Rocket Hammer strikes to eliminate enemies in a couple of seconds.

Mercy – Traditional Healer Hero for Learning the Ropes

Overwatch 2 Mercy

Mercy is not only one of the best healers to learn Overwatch 2 with, but also one of the best heroes in general if you are new to the game. Most supports usually have a better view of team fights as they play from the backline.

Mercy’s kit is basic at first glance as she has her Caduceus Staff that can heal and damage boost allies. Her rate of healing single targets is quite high and her damage boost can enable some nasty combos. The healing and damage boost can go through barriers and you can stay connected to your target while moving around. 

She also has Guardian Angel and Angelic Descent, which allow her to dash to allies or manipulate her fall. Learning to use both these parts of her kit will allow you to navigate around the map and avoid enemy fire.

Since Mercy is a single-target healer, you have to constantly bounce across an area to keep everyone topped up on health. You should be focusing on boosting your DPS heroes so they can secure kills, and the damage boost is also very handy on tanks when they use their ultimate abilities. 

Mercy is the only character in the game who can resurrect allies if someone falls during a team fight. You can revive them within a certain amount of time using your Resurrect skill. It leaves you vulnerable and you should use it behind your teammates or when it’s perfectly safe. Sometimes it’s worth taking the risk if it can save a team fight, but these are all things you will begin to understand as you play the hero yourself.

Valkyrie is a chain healing Ultimate that allows you to fly over your teammates and apply your healing or damage boost to multiple allies. It lasts a very long time and can help your team survive enemy Ultimates or push through enemy defenses. Overall, she is a solid character if you are new to Overwatch 2 and want to learn the Support class.

While our recommendations are meant for players completely new to Overwatch 2, if you enjoy a certain character, feel free to use them. Overwatch 2 is all about finding heroes that you enjoy and having fun with them. You should try to grasp the basics of as many heroes as possible as it will not only help you understand how the heroes work, but also how to counter those heroes if you go up against them.

Overwatch 2 Tank Changes: How to Adapt to the Single Tank Meta

Posted on by Kanishka Thakur

If you have been used to playing tanks in Overwatch, the release of Overwatch 2 will completely change the dynamic of how tanks function in the game. Unlike before, you are forced to run just one tank and while it does offer significant advantages and makes the gameplay feel faster, existing tank players may have a hard time adjusting to the changes. The introduction of Doomfist into the tank category and Junker Queen’s official release will help redefine what tanking in Overwatch is all about. 

Orisa – Overwatch 2 Tank Changes

Overwatch 2 Tank changes

Orisa is no longer the shield tank we used to know. Instead of being ammo reliant, her gun is now based on an Overheat mechanic so you still need to manage your cooldown to keep up the damage. Despite losing her trusty barrier, she can still block a lot of damage, and her new Terra Surge, Energy Javelin and Javelin Spin abilities can offer a lot more offensive potential. 

Gone are the days when you could sit behind a shield and bunker down. Instead, she is now a tank that can crowd-control enemies and deal tons of damage.

Doomfist, Now A Tank For Overwatch 2

This is an odd one as Doomfist was never meant to be a tank. He used to be a DPS hero and his damage numbers have been changed drastically to better suit the tank role. He feels out of place in the meta and his defensive capabilities feel strictly worse than other tanks. 

His offensive capabilities also feel underwhelming, but that may be attributed to the fact that we have seen and experienced what Doomfist in his peak potential can do.

Winston

Winston is the same hero he always was and it takes a good team to take advantage of the hero. In coordinated teams, he can feel extremely effective in “dive” compositions, but he does not function as well as Reinhardt or Sigma in more defensive playstyles. 

Junker Queen had replaced Winston in more aggressive Overwatch 2 teams during the beta period, but with Junker Queen receiving some major nerfs ahead of the game’s release, we might see Winston in more matches.

Reinhardt

Reinhardt’s shield is as reliable as ever and his offensive capabilities have been enhanced. With Fire Strike being much more spam-friendly in Overwatch 2, getting your Eartthshatter in time has never been easier.

His ultimate is still very strong and with the double shield meta gone, knocking down multiple targets and setting them up for kills is very easy.

Overwatch 2’s Tank Changes: Wrecking Ball

Wrecking Ball feels like a better Winston in a lot of situations due to his extremely high mobility. While the hero is weak to crowd control and stun abilities, most stuns have been removed from Overwatch 2 making him feel extremely potent.

Wrecking Ball is not the best choice for defensive playstyles, but if you want to dive in with your DPS heroes, he can offer tons of value by causing mayhem in the enemy backlines.

Roadhog

Roadhog is one of the best tanks in Overwatch 2 and he might be a little overtuned. With one tank slot being removed from the game, Roadhog’s ability to just outright assassinate someone with his hook combos is better than ever.

While he is vulnerable when he does not have his hook up, the removal of most stuns from Overwatch 2 has made him feel a lot stronger.

D.Va 

D.Va is one of the more flexible heroes in Overwatch 2. She still has the ability to bully enemies and get in and out of fights. Additionally, she can help protect her teammates better.

In the current meta, she is one of the better tanks in the game if you are looking for flexibility. With the double shield meta going away, D.Va’s Ultimate becomes much more lethal and can take out multiple enemies.

Sigma

Sigma offers a nice mix of protection, damage, and crowd control. His Ultimate is very powerful and can guarantee some kills for your team. But it is also much more difficult to play Sigma in the new single tank meta as you need to manage your shield’s health a lot more carefully.

Sigma is in a decent spot and he can dish out some decent damage while protecting his teammates, making him a valuable tank in any team.

Zarya

Zarya’s shielding capabilities have essentially been doubled and her damage output is still as lethal as ever. With fewer shields in the game, she can generate her ultimate a lot more frequently which is very valuable. 

Graviton Surge is still arguably the best Ultimate ability in the game, and it can set up team wipes when paired with other Ultimates.

Junker Queen

Junker Queen is tough to analyze at the moment as she was the number one tank in the meta for several months. Pro players have been competing in Overwatch 2 even before the game’s release and Junker Queen enabled a very aggressive meta where she dominated.

She received some massive nerfs and only time will tell where her power level lies. But as it stands, her kit still looks strong and she is the second hero in the game after Ana who can prevent enemies from healing, which can be deadly. 

What Will Be The Implications of The Single Tank Meta?

Teams that bunker down will be much less effective in Overwatch 2 and we are moving towards a more aggressive meta. With one less tank in the team, making a mistake as a tank player and dying can have serious consequences in a team fight. 

You are the only line of defense for your allies and players will need to adapt to the new meta. While it sounds daunting, a large number of tanks have received buffs moving into Overwatch 2 and they feel a lot more enjoyable thanks to added offensive capabilities.

Guy Who Actually Hit Someone With Green Shell Gets Recruited as Elite Military Sniper

Posted on by Kevin Podas

CLEVELAND — Local Mario Kart 8 player Brendan Kirkman was reportedly recruited to be an elite sniper for the United States Military following an occurrence in which he hit an enemy with a green shell on purpose, according to those familiar with the situation.

“The kid’s got serious potential,” said Army recruiter Sgt. Aaron Kloppfer. “3rd place, one green koopa shell, lands a shot from 50 yards away. Incredible. Usually these things just bounce back and forth off the walls until they end up coming right back to hit ya—‘least that’s been my experience. Let’s see how he does murdering our enemies abroad.”

Kirkman was stunned and confused at the numerous phone calls, emails, and unsolicited visits to his home.

“It’s crazy man, maybe I was playing online against some kind of top brass or something?” asked Kirkman. “I didn’t think my life would change after racing on Choco Mountain, but I’m shipping off on Tuesday to Afghanistan. They said I should be ready with no training needed, but I’m playing some extra matches in the meantime just in case. Hopefully the snipers are hooked up to GameCube controllers, because I don’t fuck with joycon drift.”

Sgt. Kloppfer confirmed that this was not the first time that the military has used Mario Kart to seek out potential recruitments.

“Oh, you see it all the time,” Sgt. Kloppfer said. “Someone comes up to us at a booth, says they got a 1st place lead after an 8th place comeback. I always ask, ‘what kind of shell did you use? Red? Come back when you’re a pro, kid.’”

At press time, Kirkman was promoted several ranks after launching a banana peel and hitting someone directly ahead of him.