March 2021 - Hard Drive

Jeremy Kaplowitz • March 31, 2021

NEW YORK — Following accusations from several women, some supposedly famous guy you’re just learning about for the first time…

Giovanni Colantonio • March 28, 2021

REDMOND, Wash. — Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, new co-workers Master Chief and Doomguy had an awkward first day at…

Jeremy Kaplowitz • March 28, 2021

AUSTIN, Texas — Wiping tears from his eyes at a recent press conference, SpaceX CEO Elon Musk revealed that the…

Kevin Hufe • March 27, 2021

CHICAGO — In anticipation of the upcoming 2022 release of Splatoon 3, first-time player Bryan Skritcherson has begun the long…

Jeremy Kaplowitz • March 26, 2021

VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — A local man’s iPhone disagrees with its owner that his Amazon Alexa is listening to him…

Andy Holt • March 26, 2021

LONGVIEW, Wash. — Gamer cryptologist Emma Donovan claimed she saw Bigfoot in the woods this morning, but was only able…

Jeremy Kaplowitz • March 25, 2021

LAS VEGAS — Conspiracy theorist Andrew Hawkins has recently been taken aback by how much he has gotten right in…

Mark Roebuck • March 25, 2021

TUCSON, Ariz. — A seven year old PlayStation 4 that has been making more and more noise has reportedly grown…

Dan Kozuh • March 24, 2021

NORTH SALEM, N.Y. — Professor Charles Xavier, headmaster at Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, is reportedly at a loss…

Owen Crowlie • March 24, 2021

What is art? Is it something that makes you feel? Is it something you sell to rich weirdos so they…

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