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June 23, 2021

Earth Successfully Uninstalls McAfee

Earth Successfully Uninstalls McAfee

MADRID —The perpetually sunburned founder of McAfee Antivirus Software, John McAfee, was found uninstalled from planet Earth in a Spanish prison on Wednesday around 1…

June 23, 2021

EA Honors Pride Month by Announcing One of the Crowd Members in FIFA Is Gay

EA Honors Pride Month by Announcing One of the Crowd Members in FIFA Is Gay

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — In honor of pride month, EA has announced that one of the crowd members in their long running FIFA franchise is…

June 23, 2021

6 Must-Have Gaming Accessories That Just Happen to All Be Sold by Our Parent Company

6 Must-Have Gaming Accessories That Just Happen to All Be Sold by Our Parent Company

Playing video games with the top-of-the-line technology can be really expensive, but it’s 100% worth every penny of your hard earned cash to buy the…

June 23, 2021

Vampire Requests Invite to Open Xbox Live Party

Vampire Requests Invite to Open Xbox Live Party

FORKS, Wash. — Local vampiric gamer FaNg DaNKula was seen requesting an invite to an open Xbox Live Party in order to join it, as…

June 23, 2021

Streamer Buys $1,000 in Audio Equipment so He Can Speak More Clearly Into Yawning Void of Nobody

Streamer Buys $1,000 in Audio Equipment so He Can Speak More Clearly Into Yawning Void of Nobody

TOLEDO, Ohio — Twitch streamer Sam Dolan has reportedly acquired over $1,000 in professional audiovisual gear, ensuring a clear connection with the gaping vacuum of…

June 23, 2021

Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People

Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People

LOS ANGELES — The wealthy owners of the most popular television networks and streaming services have previewed their fall slate of new shows, and among…

June 23, 2021

Broken PC Transforms Hardcore Gamer Into Just a Normal Run-of-the-Mill Bigot

Broken PC Transforms Hardcore Gamer Into Just a Normal Run-of-the-Mill Bigot

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — While saving up to repair his broken gaming PC, local man Josh Quell underwent a transformation from an elite gamer into…

June 22, 2021

Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address

Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address

LAS VEGAS — Master heist organizer Danny Ocean has reportedly gathered a team of top criminals, acrobats, and smooth talkers in an attempt to break…