How To Get Galarica Twig In Pokemon Scarlet And Violet The Indigo Disk

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

The Galarica Twig is an item required to evolve Galarian Slowpoke into Galarian Slowbro or Galarian Slowking. This guide will show you where to get Galarica Twigs easily.

 

Wordle Today – Answer And Hint For #937 January 12, 2024

 

Where To Find Galarica Twigs In Pokemon The Indigo Disk

Make your way to the Terarium’s Coastal Biome, by flying to the Coastal Plaza. Once at the plaza, go right through it all the way to the beach to the north-west as depicted in the image above. Pull the camera up as high as possible and start combing the beach carefully for the faintly glowy sparkling items in the sand. Most of them will be Galarica Twigs, but you may also find other items like Soft Sand and various Feathers.

Once you have picked up all the drops, simply leave the biome and then fly right back. If that does not work, wait a full in-game day to scour the beach again till you have all the Galarica Twigs you need to proceed.

Where To Use Galarica Twigs In Pokemon The Indigo Disk

Head back to Coastal Plaza. From the front desk bear left to the girl standing by the vending machines. Speak to her to swap Galarica Twigs for either Galarica Cuff or Galarica Wreath.

You will be using Galarica Twig to acquire two items:

  • Galarica Cuff for 8 Galarica Twigs
  • Galarica Wreath for 15 Galarica Twigs

This means you will need a total of 23 Galarica Twigs at least, to get one of each Galarian Slowpoke evolution.

Pokemon Scarlet & Violet: How to Get Bloodmoon Ursaluna

How To Evolve Galarian Slowpoke Into Galarian Slowbro In Pokemon The Indigo Disk

Have the Galarian Slowpoke in your party, and then open your Bag. Navigate to Other Items, and find the Galarica Cuff. Rather than giving it to your Galarian Slowpoke as it says in the item’s description, make sure you ‘Use this item’ on the Galarian Slowpoke instead.

You now have a Galarian Slowbro.

How To Evolve Galarian Slowpoke Into Galarian Slowking In Pokemon The Indigo Disk

Have the Galarian Slowpoke in your party, and then open your Bag. Navigate to Other Items, and find the Galarica Wreath. Instead of giving it to your Galarian Slowpoke as it says in the item’s description, make sure you ‘Use this item’ on the Galarian Slowpoke.

You now have a Galarian Slowking.

Doctor Ignores Patient Spamming “I Need Healing”

Posted on by Jus Kaplan

Irvine, Calif. — Medical staff at Mercy-Baptiste Hospital have decided to ultimately just ignore a patient who won’t stop spamming the call button, exhausted sources report.

“Look, I believe everyone deserves to be healed. I took the hippocratic oath. I went half a million dollars into debt to become a doctor. I’ve dedicated my life to this profession! But this character is beyond ridiculous,” said a frustrated physician who asked to remain anonymous for job security, instead giving the pseudonym “Swiss Medic.”

“I swear this person has hit that button requesting our support at least 23 times already, and my shift started less than an hour ago. He is crushing my team’s morale and distracting us from our objectives.”

The charge nurse on staff, who also wished to remain anonymous but gave the nickname “Not Zen,” backed up Swiss Angel’s account of recent events on the ward.

“I am usually a benevolent, peaceful person. But this guy has pushed me to the edge of anger with his constant calls for help, even while actively being medicated, supported, and cared for,” said Not Zen. “It’s almost as if he’s just doing it for attention or to show off his outfits. Did I mention this fool is in the hospital for a broken ankle after attempting to climb up and over a wall? He is in stable condition and should be our lowest priority. That’s why our floor staff are no longer responding to his button mashing.”

The patient in question – who reached out to us directly and said we should print his real name, Genisson Jim, or Genji for short – threatened to report his entire care team for not doing their assigned duties.

“I am in need of healing. Therefore, they must heal me. That is their role and I will continue to make them aware of my status until I am no longer in need of healing,” said Genji. “If they didn’t want to heal, they should have elected to do something else.”

At press time, Swiss Medic and Not Zen were seen begrudgingly spoonfeeding Genji pudding as two other patients on the floor were coding nearby.

Hard Drive’s Tips For Ensuring Your Twitch Nudity Qualifies As Artistic

Posted on by Jacob VanGundy

Twitch has made a controversial change to its terms of service, allowing for nudity on the platform. However, this nudity is limited to “artistic nudity” which has raised the question, of what separates art from smut. Hard Drive is here to help with some tips and tricks to help you bring some artistry to your naughty bits streams.

Prominently Display Your Fine Arts Degree

All those years of reading Proust and pretending to know the difference between cubism and futurism are finally going to pay off. Just throw your hard-earned degree in a frame next to your Funko Pop collection and your golden. How can anyone dispute what you’re doing is art if you literally have an official document saying you know about art?

Just Keep Asking “What Is Art?”

In our post-modern society art is really concerned with interrogating what art is. Good artists do this subtly. On Twitch you can probably just say “Modcheck art am I right?”

Be A Literal Piece Of Art

Sentient pieces of art have long been excluded from Twitch due to its regressive nudity rules. Michelangelo’s David has suffered in obscurity for too long. Now he can finally step out of the shadows to pursue his goal of becoming an influencer. He just wants to play Lethal Company with Pokimane.

Cut Off Your Own Ear

Vincent Van Gogh famously cut off his own ear in an argument with Paul Gauguin. Prop up your artistic street cred by chopping a body part off during a heated Fortnite lobby. No one’s going to question if you’re really an artist when you’re rocking the Van Gogh bandage look.

Use Props

Getting your dick out on camera isn’t art, but what if the dick is in a hot dog bun? Now it’s a statement on processed food. That’s art baby.

Ask Ninja For Approval

This one only applies to female streamers, but you should simply ask Tyler “Ninja” Blevins for permission to use nudity on your streams. Almost all decisions made by female streamers should be run by Ninja first. Twitch has nothing but respect for Ninja’s decisions regarding how women should behave.

Only Get Partial Erections

If you’re hanging dong on stream there’s a fine line between artistry and pornography. The standard agreement with Twitch allows for 50% of maximum hardness, though some select partners are allowed up to 70% erection based on previously negotiated contracts.

Pose Like Rose In Titanic

If you pose like you’re being painted by Jack in Titanic it becomes a film homage and is automatically artistic. This applies to other famous nude scenes as well. Some other movies with famous nude scenes you could imitate include Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Basic Instinct, and Antichrist.

Be European

Twitch is based in America and Americans think all Europeans are artsy by default. If you have a French accent you can do pretty much anything you want and dumb Americans will be amazed. Note that Americans do not consider the UK part of Europe.

Get A Bear Skin Rug

One of the easiest ways to uplift your nudity is to stream from a bear skin rug. It worked for Burt Reynolds and it’ll work for you. If you have any doubts throw a fireplace in the background for good measure.

Play Video Games With Your Junk

Twitch is fairly synonymous with gaming. Just because you’re streaming nude that doesn’t mean you’re going to give up on playing games. Incorporate your nudity into the gameplay. Click heads with your dickhead. Beat Dark Souls with your butt hole. The possibilities are endless.

Splash Some Paint On Your Body

Pay homage to a more traditional art form by slapping some paint on your naked body and calling yourself a living canvas. Artsy people eat shit like that up. If you’re talented you can draw some designs on your body, but if not just splash it on. There’s nothing in the rules that says it has to be good art.

Be Aggressively Weird

Being weird and abrasive is a great way to trick corporations into thinking you’re artistic. Even if nothing about your naked Call of Duty session speaks to the human condition, if you’re quirky enough it will still come across as performance art. Speak in Elizabethan English for no reason, do bad improvised dances, or punctuate your kills with random snaps.

Legally Change Your Name To Art

If you’re named Art, all of your nudity is Arty. Maybe you’re lucky enough to already be named Art, but most of you will have to change your name for this loophole. It’s fairly easy and cheap to change your name in most states. It’s well worth the cost to be able to show your community your taint live.

Be Hot

The difference between “naked weirdo” and “nude model” is mostly a matter of being hot. If people want to see you naked they’ll be happy to call you standing naked in front of a green screen art. Leave the clever tricks to the uggos.

Make Vaguely Liberal Political Comments

Everyone knows real art is for revolutionary leftists. Make vague references about the carbon imprint of the fashion industry and people will take your nudity as politically charged art. Own those fascist MAGATs by showing your nips.

Make Vaguely Conservative Political Comments

‘Everyone knows real art comes from salt-of-the-earth conservatives. Make vague references to freedom of speech and people will take your nudity as politically charged art. Own those commie libs by showing your nips.

Put On A Dumb Mask

From KISS to Shia LeBeouf, every hack artist knows if you want to seem like an edgy outsider you just have to cover your face. Anything from face paint to a rubber mask will do the trick and the dumbest people in the world will call you a genius. It’s also guaranteed to bring in some weirdo fetish views.

Recreate Video Game Nudity

Now that the “are games art” argument has been settled it stands to reason that recreating video games must also be art. Go wild acting out your favorite nude scenes from video games. Sorry, Twitch, but if Genital Jousting is art so is my gay orgy with the guys who used to be in Achievement Hunter.

Be A Top Twitch Streamer

Let’s be honest, if you’re making Twitch enough money they don’t care what you do.

If You Fell for the ‘Day Before’ Scam, Here Are Some Totally Legit Games We Made That You Should Check Out

Posted on by Julia Shebek

If you’re one of the people that felt tricked by ‘The Day Before,’ we’re here for you. That’s why—just for folks like you—we’ve compiled a collection of games we made, and they’re all so real, you don’t even have to Google them to double check! (Seriously, don’t check.)

Baldur’s Gate 4

How did a satire site get the legal rights to do this? Don’t worry about it! Critics are saying the latest iteration of the 2023 Game of the Year is “thrilling,” “gorgeous,” and “exists.”

The Hard Drive Mystery Game

This game comes in a free .zip file you can find just about anywhere on porn sites or the dark web! What is it? Download it on an unsecured browser to find out!

The 24 Hours Previous

It’s everything you wish you got from The Day Before—in fact, it’s almost exactly the same—but, we promise, totally, 100% real and very not a scam.

Pinocch.io

We know you’re probably thinking: “Guys, isn’t that just a still from the 1940 classic Disney film Pinocchio?” And yeah, it sure looks like one! But it’s not. So shut up, okay?

Minecraft

Around this point in the list, you might feel like we’re trying too hard to convince you that these games are real. So you know what? I’ll be straight-up with you. This one isn’t real.

Fiction VR

Look, let’s not get bogged down in small details like whether or not this VR game is a genuine thing we made. Here are the more important details about what it‘s got:

  • 3D graphics
  • a voice cast including George Clooney, Matt Mercer (he really is in everything), and Beyoncé
  • comes with a free PS5
  • 24/7 customer support for when your screen goes black and you get a call from your bank

Video Game Developer Simulator

In this game, you play as a successful game developer in the process of deleting any evidence you or your game existed as fast as you possibly can. You know, like all good developers do!

Also, unrelated, if you notice Hard Drive suddenly disappearing from Twitter, Discord, YouTube, and/or the internet in general, don’t panic, we do that all the time! Everything’s fine. Trust us!

How To Get Granite Slab In LEGO Fortnite

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

Granite Slabs are a basic building resource at the beginning of LEGO Fortnite, and this guide will get you through everything from where to find Granite, and how to get the Granite Slab itself.

 

Wordle Today – Answer And Hint For #937 January 12, 2024

 

Where To Find Granite Ore In LEGO Fortnite

Granite ore is plentiful in the open world of LEGO Fortnite. Simply hack away with any pickaxe at the larger grey rocks and boulders scattered across the overworld, and you will break them down into its constituent Granite pieces for gathering. You will occasionally even find Granite ore simply lying around on the ground for the taking.

If you have villagers available, bring one along to speed up the mining process a bit, but only as long as they have the right equipment of course.

How To Get Granite Slabs In LEGO Fortnite

Next is transforming the Granite into Granite Slabs. This will require a Stone Breaker, which only unlocks when your village is at level 5. This will require:

  • 20 Knotroot
  • 35 Marble (just ore not Marble Slabs)

Once the Stone Breaker is up and running, set Granite Slab as the active recipe in it, and place all your Granite ore in there as well. Each Granite ore is worth one Granite Slab.

How To Get Heavy Wool And Heavy Wool Thread In LEGO Fortnite

Since Granite Slabs are a fairly important resource, do not hesitate to build an additional Stone Breaker to match your needs. Stone Breakers also come in handy to produce Marble Slabs from Marble ore, and much later in the game: Obsidian Slabs from Obsidian ore, so it is not a one-trick pony.

How To Use Granite Slabs

Granite Slabs are a required resource for buildings including the most critical ones of all:

Village Level 6 Upgrade

  • 20 Knotroot
  • 20 Granite Slabs

Grain Mill

  • 20 Knotroot Rod
  • 20 Granite Slab
  • 3 Shell

The Grain Mill is going to be a crucial structure in the launching of farming operations, and will grind food down, as well as spit out the seeds for your use in Garden Plots.

How To Get Brightcore In LEGO Fortnite

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

Brightcore is another Rare resource in LEGO Fortnite. If you’re struggling with where to find Brightcore in LEGO Fortnite, this is the guide for you. You will also find several relevant recipes which require Brightcore to complete.

 

Wordle Today – Answer And Hint For #937 January 12, 2024

 

Where To Find Brightcore Ore In LEGO Fortnite

Brightcore ore can only be found in the Dry Valley biome, aka the desert, and specifically within lava caves. If you want to find a lava cave in LEGO Fortnite, simply check the map for cave locations and proceed to each one in turn. Within a cave, the golden-orange Brightcore growth is most likely to be discovered close to lava flow, which is going to pose a real danger to you as you jump around trying to reach it and then gather it up.

Additionally, to be able to mine Brightcore ore, you must use a Rare or better pickaxe. That will require three Flexwood Rods and three Sand Claws in order to craft.

MORE IN FORTNITE:

The heat factor from being within a lava cave cannot be ignored either. So it is recommended that you get a hold of either a Rare or Epic Cool-Headed Charm. A short term solution would be eating a Snowberry for two minutes of Heat Resistance per pop.

It is very unlikely that you will ever find Brightcore ore in a desert cave without lava present in it, so you may want to move on sooner rather than later.

How To Use Brightcore In LEGO Fortnite

Mined Brightcore is a critical resource later in the game to create Charms, Copper Bars, and Iron Bars. The recipes are as follows:

Copper Bar Recipe

  • 1 Copper
  • 2 Brightcore
  • Metal Smelter

Iron Bar Recipe

  • 1 Iron
  • 2 Brightcore
  • Metal Smelter

How To Get Heavy Wool And Heavy Wool Thread In LEGO Fortnite

Inner Fire Charm Recipe (Rare)

Increases resistance to cold temperatures.

Keep yourself nice and toasty.

  • 3 Wool Thread
  • 5 Cut Ruby
  • 8 Brightcore
  • 5 Blast Cores
  • Crafting Bench (Rare)

Inner Fire Charm Recipe (Epic)

Increases resistance to cold temperatures.

In this case, DON’T chill out.

  • 3 Heavy Wool Thread
  • 30 Brightcore
  • 10 Blast Cores
  • 1 Frost Brute Scale
  • Crafting Bench (Epic)

How To Get Heavy Wool And Heavy Wool Thread In LEGO Fortnite

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

Heavy Wool and Heavy Wool Thread are among several high-demand resources in LEGO Fortnite. This guide will show you how to get and farm both Heavy Wool and Heavy Wool Thread.

Where To Find Heavy Wool

The Epic item Heavy Wool can only be gotten from Rams, unlike regular Wool which is acquired from Sheep. Rams are the grey-brown Sheep that spawn only in the Frostlands biome. Walk up to one, pet them gently with nothing equipped in hand, and they will drop some Heavy Wool for you.

This can be quite tedious of course, so you can also tame and lure them back to your village with food, where you can then pen them within a livestock enclosure that you’ve prepared in advance. Ensure that the fencing is high enough that the Sheep won’t bound right over and escape.

Your other option is even more random: loot chests, especially those in the Frostlands biome where they have a higher drop rate, as well as Rift chests.

How To Get Heavy Wool Thread In LEGO Fortnite

Once you have Heavy Wool, you will automatically unlock the recipe for Heavy Wool Thread, which you can then craft at your Spinning Wheel.

Another method to get Heavy Wool Thread is a bit more complex and random, but doesn’t require you to have Heavy Wool to begin with. Upgrade your village to level 7 (which unlocks “Go Forth and Forage” as seen above), and assign one of your villagers a job using the following menu prompts:

  • “Let’s talk jobs!”
  • “Help the village!”
  • “Refining Jobs”
  • “Create Textiles”

Fortnite OG: When Does The Chapter 4 Season 5 OG Event End?

As the villager’s dialogue will remind you, you must also have a Loom or Spinning Wheel to ensure they follow through on the job. As the days go by, they will automatically generate rewards for you to collect, including Heavy Wool Thread. Simply return to the same villagers you assigned, and select the option “How’s your job?” which will display up to three rewards. Acquiring the Heavy Wool Thread will automatically unlock the underlying recipe as well.

Heavy Wool Thread Recipe LEGO Fortnite Bug

If the Heavy Wool Thread recipe still fails to unlock, this is a bug. To fix the Heavy Wool Thread recipe bug, simply put the Heavy Wool into a chest, wait a moment, and take it back out again. The Heavy Wool Thread recipe should be unlocked now.

The villager method to get Heavy Wool Thread mentioned in the previous section will also fix the Heavy Wool Thread recipe bug.

Persona 5 Fan Thrilled to Buy ‘Persona 5 Tactica’ at Launch and Again When It Gets a Rerelease

Posted on by HG Punk

SACRAMENTO — One avid Persona 5 fan was so excited for the recent release of spinoff Persona 5 Tactica that she had set money aside not just for the game, but also the inevitable re-releases in years to come.

“Tactica is going to be instrumental in adding lore to the world of Persona, most likely in the form of cliffhangers that will be answered in a remaster. I just know the game’s going to be great, and it’s going to get even better in 2025 when they add an extra playable character for $70,” said diehard Persona 5 fan Eden Cress. 

“There’s so much Persona 5 content out there to buy! You have the original game, Royal, Tactica, Scramble, Dancing, even Math and Soccer. And in a year or two the Switch successor is gonna drop, and I’m going to be able to buy every single one of those again!”

As Persona releases get closer and closer together, those close to Cress have expressed worries about her financial security.

“All the money she spends on buying the newest Persona 5 game is cutting into some of the things she holds dearly, like buying other Persona content. If she puts all this money away for the re-release in a year, she might not have the money right now to buy the Kasumi DLC,” said Ken Armstrong, Cress’ Hierophant social link.

“Besides, these are games that can take a hundred hours to beat and she’s been buying one every week. I just can’t see her having any time to play them, and trust me – The last thing the Persona community needs is a fan who hasn’t played the games.”

Josh Liles, Head of Public Relations at ATLUS West, sees the fan’s dedication as a sign that the company is on the right track, as he made clear in a video posted to the company’s social media several hours before it was supposed to.

“We’re very pleased that fans like Eden around the world are coming out in droves for this game’s re-releases. At ATLUS, we strive to make sure that all of our series have a lasting appeal, being not only re-playable but re-payable as well. We hope that when we’re able to put out an updated version of Tactica, it’ll feel just like you’re buying the game for the first time again,” said Liles.

“This may be early to announce, but we’ve actually been hard at work on Persona 6. The game is still years away because we just keep pumping it full of new features to add in another version down the line. Our biggest idea yet is to make the ‘6’ in the title actually represent having to buy the game for six different consoles to get the full story. With that story difference, each version can then be ported to the other consoles for full price. Fans will never see it coming.”

After picking up her copy of Tactica from GameStop, Cress expressed excitement to finally play her first Persona Game.

11 Local Multiplayer Games Guaranteed to Ruin the Holidays

Posted on by Alex Kitsinger

The Holidays present a great opportunity to share your hobbies and interests with those you love, but sometimes it’s best to keep them to yourself. While local multiplayer is mostly a thing of the past, the occasional release will still have it as an option, and it’s a ton of fun. Here are the 10 best local multiplayer games to play during the holidays if you never want to be allowed to host again.

Mario Party Superstars

Mario Party is the party game of choice for many, and for good reason. Few other games allow you to be such an jerk to your friends and family while pretending to be oblivious to your actions. If at least one person isn’t dead by the end of the game, you’ll certainly wish they were.

Diablo 4

Diablo 4 seems like a good choice at first, but you’ll be regretting your decision when your little brother accidentally buys the battle pass with your credit card and you get in trouble for yelling at him about it.

Mortal Kombat 1

Timmy is going to throw a tantrum when you tell him you have “Mortal Kombat 1” and then he sees an arcade cabinet from 1992.

Pistol Dueling

It doesn’t even need to be formal. just grab an old-timey pistol and start blasting.

Wii Sports

Wii Sports is still great fun, even all these years later. The controls are intuitive enough that the whole family can play, and everyone knows the rules of bowling. The fun never stops, until your six year old cousin puts a hole in the television because he forgot to use the wrist strap.

Overcooked! All You Can Eat

Overcooked is chaos in the best way. Every map is its own unique breed of evil, and you never know what you’re going to run into next. One moment you’re making salads in a hot air balloon on fire, the next you’ve crashed into a sushi restaurant and need to switch gears rapidly. And yes, it is your fault you lost there. Should’ve chopped more lettuce.

Quiplash

Quiplash is a great time, until your mom walks in the room when the prompt is overtly sexual and both answers are dick jokes. it’s fun with friends, but it just isn’t the same when you aren’t allowed to say any curse words.

Ultimate Chicken Horse

Ultimate Chicken Horse tasks players with creating a 2D platformer level that they can beat, but their friends can’t. Rewarding both technical skill as well as creative placement of hazards, it’s a perfect party game for all of your gamer friends. Your family are not gamers, however, so you will win every round and then feel bad you suggested it.

Resident Evil 6

The story is so disjointed that nobody in your family will be able to follow it, so they’ll just quietly leave while you die in the same encounter over and over.

Cuphead

Several controllers will be broken. There will be yelling. You will be blamed for dying despite almost beating the entire boss solo, and screamed at for not reviving your teammate despite its physical impossibility. Somebody will be thrown out the window. Hopefully it isn’t you.

Monopoly

The best games of Monopoly end in bitter heartbreak, with each player controlling an entire side of the board each after a series of increasingly uneven trades. Just when you think you’re in the clear you’ll roll the dice just wrong and lose everything in an instant, much to everyone else’s amusement. Monopoly reveals what you already knew about your family, which is that every member values victory above all else, yourself included.

Hard Drive Predicts CM Punk’s Feuds For 2024

Posted on by El Gimpador

The world of professional wrestling was once again set ablaze as the “Best In The World” CM Punk made his return to WWE at Survivor Series. After nearly a decade away from the promotion, he has made headlines with this historic return.

We at Hard Drive had internally predicted for Pepsi Phil to return and were proven right, because we just know these things. With the WWE roster having a growing list of talent, here are our picks for CM Punk’s future feuds for 2024.

Seth Rollins (Royal Rumble)

Seth Rollins is an obvious first contender for a fight with CM Punk. Rollins can be a professional hater, and it just so happens to be that he also hates our beloved Chicago Man. We predict that they will have a match for the World Heavyweight Championship at the Royal Rumble. Punk will lose due to interference from the Judgement Day and Damien Priest will cash in his Money In The Bank contract to become the new champion.

The Judgement Day (Elimination Chamber)

Look, we’d be pretty damn mad too if a bunch of wannabe goths (excluding Rhea Ripley) beat us up and took away our championship opportunity. However, CM Punk will want to prove once again that he is the “Best In The World” and do something we’ve never seen before. At Elimination Chamber, we will see the first gauntlet match done in the chamber.

CM Punk will take on Finn Balor, Dominik Mysterio, R-Truth, JD McDonagh, and Damien Priest all by himself. After giving a GTS to the real life Funko Pop McDonagh and exploding his head in the ring, the rest of the Judgement Day will give up on the spot.

The Coca Cola Polar Bears

As advertisers seek to grow their presence on the Road to Wrestlemania, Coca Cola will want to establish their global foothold further. Too bad, you’re in Pepsi Phil’s territory now. We predict CM Punk to bust through a wall Kool-Aid Man style during a Coca Cola commercial and absolutely annihilate those bears with steel chairs.

Roman Reigns & Brock Lesnar (Wrestlemania)

After ruthlessly beating the polar bears faster than the polar ice caps melting, CM Punk is getting closer to Wrestlemania. Well, it turns out that assaulting a beast protected by the Endangered Species Act angered another beast, Brock Lesnar.

CM Punk has no time for cowboys, since we already saw how that went in AEW. He wants something more, he wants his Wrestlemania main event moment. After calling out Roman Reigns and simply just demanding a title shot, he is given the attention of the Tribal Chief. Being blown off like this does not make Lesnar happy and he seeks retribution.

As the weeks progress, we see Paul Heyman struggle to maintain his loyalty between the Tribal Chief and his former Heyman Guys. It is decided that the Wrestlemania match will no longer be about the title, but is now a triple threat ladder match for the custody of Paul Heyman.

Wrestlemania comes and CM Punk will finish his story. As the exhaustion nearly overwhelms him from a grueling match, Paul Heyman cheers him on to grab the briefcase above holding the custody contract. Well, turns out Heyman switched the custody papers out with the Universal Championship title.

CM Punk has done what Cody Rhodes did not, and this will come back to haunt him later.

A Bunch Of Glass Panels

On a random episode of Smackdown, CM Punk reveals that his first opponent for the Undisputed Universal Championship is his worst enemy, glass panels. CM Punk wins via disqualification as the glass is real and not gimmicked in any way. Cry us a river, you’ll sit down for this match and enjoy it anyway.

Cody Rhodes (Backlash)

CM Punk finished Cody’s story before Cody even got a second chance to make it happen. After reminding us all again that his father was Dusty Rhodes, we get another passionate promo about wanting to bring home the only title his family never attained. Rumor has it Cody Rhodes returned to WWE as he heard Christian Cage was looking to make fun of some dead dads and is just using this title story as a front.

CM Punk learned about this during his time in AEW, and grants Cody Rhodes a title match. In a battle of psychological warfare, the match stipulation is a Buried Alive match. We predict that Cody Rhodes loses and Christian Cage considers returning to WWE just to credit Punk for doing something he wishes he thought of sooner.

His Own Moral Compass On The Road To Saudi-Mania (Night of Champions)

The Voice of the Voiceless has the chance to do the funniest thing ever and do the pipebomb promo directed at the Saudi royalty. However, as they would be paying for him to be out there, this would be hypocritical and have less impact. Phil must decide upon a contractually obligated appearance as champion or actually standing by his morality. We can predict him wrestling his inner thoughts, but we cannot predict him wrestling in Saudi anytime soon.

My Therapist (Money In The Bank)

After not showing up to Night of Champions, we predict CM Punk will defend his championship against a real champion, a real inspiration, a real hero. That person will be my therapist. Unfortunately, my therapist cannot actually wrestle and only instead will assist CM Punk with wrestling his moral compass. Damn, I would’ve loved seeing that belt in his office.

LA Knight (SummerSlam)

WWE definitely lost a lot of money on CM Punk not showing up to Saudi Arabia in this universe we’ve predicted. That’s the kind of long term booking we have here.

To make up for this loss, LA Knight and CM Punk will main event SummerSlam and will be for the Undisputed Universal Championship. The buildup is insane. The promos are imbued with life, passion, attitude, and break records for WWE’s YouTube channel. The amount of merchandise sold totals the GDP of several small countries.

This feud will be the peak of CM Punk’s return. Unfortunately, it will also be the one where he loses his title. As the crowd chants “L…A…Knight…yeah,” we will be chanting “C…M…Punk…no.”

Arthur Morgan (Payback)

After losing his title, Punk finally decides he will fight another cowboy as redemption for his past. Unlucky for Punk, Arthur Morgan also has some elite friends. We suspect that John Marston may say a few mean things, Dutch will have some sort of plan, and we will end up with an unsanctioned Backstage Brawl match taking place during Payback. Can’t blame this one on working with children, but hardened criminals instead.

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