Everyone finds themselves in need of friends, companions to bring with you on your journey through life. One such use for friends is backing you up when you spot a hottie while you’re out drinking and want to make your move without coming across as creepy or desperate. If your friends happened to be characters from Baldur’s Gate 3, it would be no different. Each Baldur’s Gate 3 character class stacks up to the task of being your wingperson differently, and here’s the full ranking of how each of them would do helping you get laid after a night at the bar.
#12 – Bard
The Bard is charismatic, fun, and entertaining. But trying to use the Bard as your wingperson is like going to see your friend’s band and attempting to chat someone up by saying “I know the lead singer.” Let the Bard go have fun by themselves and stop expecting their greatness to fall upon you like magic fairy dust.
#11 – Warlock
Another party member filled with charisma, you might think the Warlock is going to attract the folks who are interested in dark and mysterious people. While this is certainly a possibility, there’s a big difference between ‘dark and mysterious’ and ‘will probably invite me to a cult meeting.’ Once the Warlock starts talking about their pact with the devil you may find strangers less willing to tolerate the both of you.
#10 – Barbarian
Your big, muscled friend can certainly draw a lot of attention given that they’re loud and boisterous in a way that’s going to get people excited. However, being known for your insatiable bloodlust isn’t the most popular thing in pleasant company. As the class most likely to start a bar fight, if you hang out with them you’re more likely to find yourself on the curb in handcuffs than in your crush’s bed in handcuffs.
#9 – Monk
A peerless ascetic who has mastered every aspect of their body, mind, and soul sounds pretty awesome. In practice, however, they’re more likely to be the person who asks the bartender for water, spends most of their time meditating, and cares very deeply about your spiritual wellness. They might help you get some attention for being unique, but they are not the partying type and will probably be leaving the bar early to get a good night’s sleep.
#8 – Paladin
The typical knight in shining armor is a textbook fantasy for a lot of people, but where you might find yourself in a bit of a struggle is when said knight’s deep commitment to honor, glory, and justice gets in the way of everyone’s good time. Your crush offers up a nice hit of the green and all of a sudden Mr. Golden Armor is on your case about the current legality and whether your friend has a license to distribute. The Paladin may help bring in some early cuties but they’re not much help once you’re looking to really have a good time.
#7 – Cleric
Along those same lines is the servant of the divine themselves, everyone’s pocket healer the Cleric. While they are often less of a party pooper than the Paladin or Monk, a lot of people can still be wary about having new religions pitched to them as part of the flirtation process. That being said, their spells are a great way to overcome your hangover. So long as you can convince them to lay off the proselytizing, the Cleric’s backup comes with a few worthwhile perks
#6 – Fighter
If you wanted the muscles of the Monk and the knightly prowess of the Paladin without any of the baggage, look no further. The Fighter is chiseled, built, and impressive. Unlike the Barbarian, their anger is perfectly kept in check, so you shouldn’t worry so much about the immediacy of a bar fight. What they have in raw physical appeal is their trade-off, however, for more often than not being dumb as a bag of rocks. Combine that with their lack of many unique abilities outside of fighting and you’ll realize they’re a great lure to bring people in, but they’ll be leaving you to seal the deal yourself.
#5 – Ranger
Unlike the aforementioned martial classes, this horizon-seeking explorer offers a clear appeal to draw in a crowd: their adorable pet friend. So long as people can look past their rugged (read: dirty) clothing and demeanor, they will find themselves learning about a true outdoorsman who can connect them to the land and all its creatures. While this runs the risk of your crush running off to climb a mountain instead of heading back home with you, it just might be worth it to get a nice pettable animal friend to make everyone swoon.
#4 – Rogue
For the most part, people can’t help themselves when it comes to lovable scoundrels. The Rogue may have tried to pick your pocket or break into the bar’s backroom, but they look so cool while doing it that we give them a pass anyways. The appeal of the bad boy is strong, and with the Rogue you’re free of the Warlock’s culty undertones. Just make sure they don’t steal your crush’s wallet to give you tips on what they’re interested in. Or have them do that, maybe. Your morals may vary.
#3 – Wizard
Make fun of nerds all you want, but they are the best at solving complex problems. When it comes to getting you involved with the person of your choice, this spellcaster has the most magic of strategies: magic. Casting spells of all kinds is not just a great way to draw attention, but it can offer your crush and you a night you could never have imagined. Your Wizard friend will back you up with all the pizazz of a magic show and none of the fakeness.
#2 – Druid
Lover of plants and animals, this class is more than just your stereotypical tree-hugger or Greenpeacer. Not only can they introduce all sorts of amazing “herbal concoctions” to the people you hang out with, but they can one-up the competition by turning into a fuzzy animal companion. Now they are using their base appeal to bring in your crush without even competing with you for their love! Anyone who has ever dated someone for their pet knows that this technique works like a charm.
#1 – Sorcerer
You remember how cool the Wizard was? What if they were charismatic, and not forcibly bound to a devil? The Sorcerer has all the magical prowess that other classes have, but they can also talk to people in normal human conversations. The Sorcerer has the spells to make sure everyone’s looking your way, and afterwards they know how to say just the right things. Unlike the Bard, they aren’t so specifically a performer that their very talent is going to steal all the eyes away from you. They can make you seem like you have normal, decent friends while also backing you up as the ultimate magical wingperson. Nothing quite hits the spot like creating literal fireworks during your first magical moments with your next lover.
