Gary Kerls, Author at Hard Drive

Apex Legends Cross Progression Not Working: How to Enable

Posted on November 2, 2023 by Tarun Sayal

Cross-progression was one of the most frequently requested features in Apex Legends until developers added it in the most recent Season 19 Ignite update. In case you’re living under a rock, cross-progression is a feature that lets you transfer your progress and rewards from one platform to another.

For example, if you have been playing Apex Legends mostly on PC, you can use cross-progression to access your account on both PC and Xbox without losing progress. Although the feature was officially launched on October 31, 2023, it seems like many players are having a hard time enabling cross-progression in the game. So here’s all you need to know about this issue if you also find yourself in the same situation.

How to Fix Apex Legends Cross Progression

As per the official announcement, the cross-progression feature is being rolled out in waves to Apex Legends. So, if cross-progression isn’t working for you, you just need to wait patiently until you get access to the feature.

When cross-progression is enabled for you, you will see a prompt for confirmation like the one below. To start the migration process, simply click on the “Continue” button. The most important thing for players to do right now is to link all of their accounts to their EA ID. This is the account that will combine all Apex Legends accounts.

How Does Cross-Progression Work in Apex Legends?

With cross-progression, you can play Apex Legends on any platform and keep your account, progress, and cosmetics. Just log in to the same EA Account on the platform of your choice. However, it’s important to note that your Apex Legends progress is linked to your EA Account and cannot be transferred to another account.

If you are new to Apex Legends, create an account with the EA Account you want to use for the game. If you are an existing player, use the EA Account that you have used for Apex Legends before.

If you have played on multiple platforms before, your accounts may be merged into one cross-progression account. This means that you will keep your achievement badges, but some of the numbers on them may change. If you have only played on one platform before, your account will automatically become a cross-progression account.

Please note: To prevent exploitation, any secondary Apex Legends accounts created after Oct 26th for the same EA account will not be eligible to be merged.

That’s all you need to know about the new Apex Legends feature! While you’re here, check out our guide on how to play Apex private matches!

20 Video Game Bosses Reveal How They Kill Time Waiting for Heroes To Arrive

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Matt Shore

While video game heroes are off gallivanting around the world, their bosses are often stuck in rectangular rooms, twiddling their thumbs. This is the bitter cost of an endless sea of collectibles; wasting a villain’s valuable time. But not every boss is content to stare unblinkingly at the door, hoping against hope that someone, anyone, will arrive to challenge them. No, the best of the best distract themselves with hobbies and activities to while away the hours waiting for players to “git gud” enough to challenge them. We spoke to 20 of them about how they pass the time waiting for the hero to arrive.

Yellow Devil — Mega Man

“I- SPLIT- MY BODY- INTO TWO- SMALLER VERSIONS- SO WE CAN- HOLD HANDS- AND CUDDLE. UwU.”

Ornstein and Smough — Dark Souls

Ornstein: “I spend about 14 hours a day darting around the room trying to distract Smough so he doesn’t use his body weight to bust open the back room and sexually harass Gwynevere.”

Smough: (bashing back room door) “BOOBYYYY!”

Bowser — Super Mario series

“I’ve been taking piano lessons through LinkedIn Learning and they’ve really been paying off. I’m thinking of dropping the whole evil kidnapper thing and going into music full-time. You know, like a reverse R. Kelly. GWA HA HA HA!”

Dracula — Castlevania series

“As you might expect from a being of my caliber, I enjoy reading classic literature and poetry. It helps inspire me to think of devious, soul-cutting shit to say to Belmonts when they step into my room. Like, ‘Humanity is a cancer for which there is no chemotherapy.’ Ehrm, I’m still workshopping that one.”

Sephiroth — Final Fantasy VII

“If I’m not styling my hair or shopping for leather capes and cloaks online, I’m usually on the phone kicking up my heels and gossiping with Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck, and the rest of my Kingdom Hearts galpals.”

Ridley — Super Metroid

“I like to pogo on my tail! Boing, boing, boing! I may be a hardened killer, but even I enjoy a good bouncey-bounce! Boing, boing! My record is 41,202. It is! Yes, yes!”

Dr. Robotnik — Sonic the Hedgehog series

“Using my vast and unrivaled intellect, I research hedgehogs, foxes, and echidnas, studying their biology, learning their weaknesses, and sketching them in various erotic positions in the typical pregnant and inflated fan art styles.”

Sigma — Mega Man X

“When the humans see me, they whisper and laugh, repeating the same phrase. In my free time I conduct research to try to understand it, and yet, I stand before you baffled. What is ‘Sigma Balls?’ I beg of you! Tell me! This obsession consumes me!”

Ganon — Legend of Zelda series

“I typically order a supreme from every pizza place in Hyrule, morph into pig form, then literally go ham. But not as a topping, of course. That would be disturbing.”

Wesker — Resident Evil series

“Though it pains me to admit this, I spend much of the time waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dark environments that surround me. Wearing sunglasses all the time has its shortcomings. If someone has HDR high-contrast mode on, I’m basically as blind as a licker.”

Malenia — Blade of Miquella, Elden Ring

“I practice my poker face. I need to make sure I don’t laugh when the player screams, ‘Fuck me! I thought she was dead,’ as I enter my second phase.”

Nightmare King Grimm — Hollow Knight

“I just put in my headphones and jam, man. Only hardcore stuff though. My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, Paramore. Shit that really makes me feel something in my guts, you know?”

Grim Matchstick — Cuphead

“We’re working on our singing, fella! How’d you like some acapella? Beach Boys, Weezer, Counting Crows? We’re partial to ‘God Only Knows’!”

Goro — Mortal Kombat

“Me have four hands and 16 hairy knuckles. Make own lotion. You not want know.”

Isshin, the Sword Saint — Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

“I’ve taught myself the violin. I learned Finnish, Icelandic, and Mandarin Chinese. Now I’m researching cold fusion. I mean, I’ve got the time. Nobody ever reaches me anyway.”

Liquid Snake, Metal Gear Solid

“I try on different disguises for my phony baloney codex calls. I’ve been Mei Ling this entire time, and nobody’s called me out on it.”

Kamoshida — Persona 5

“Honestly, if I admitted to the shit I did I in my spare time I’d be back in jail again.”

Giovanni — Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow

“I cover my feet in Miltank Butter and let Meowth go to town. It’s much cheaper than a foot rub, and it counts as pet food.”

Shang Tsung — Mortal Kombat series

“I transform into Johnny Cage, then call into Fox News and let my wildest conspiracy theories fly. It’s fun to watch his IMDB Starmeter plummet in real time.”

Kefka — Final Fantasy 6

“Oh, I’m a creature of comfort, hee hee! I like to sit on a nice comfy couch and put on a record of all my victims screaming in unison. There’s something so soothing about their death rattles! I’m out like a light in moments.”

Good for Him! Random Goon Kills Spider-Man

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Andrew Muller

NEW YORK CITY — Supervillains and buff gang leaders alike were pleasantly surprised to see a random street-tough goon was the person to land the killing blow upon Spider-Man, local sources have confirmed.

“I’ve been chasing after the guy for years, we’ve developed quiet a rapport, me and the Spider,” reminisced Flint Marko, a supervillain better known as the Sandman. “I honestly never thought of just surrounding him and kinda punching him in the street a bunch of times. But hey, good for the guy who got him. Guess I’ll look for a new guy to hate.’”

No one is more surprised than the random criminal who killed the beloved superhero

“It was an honor just to fight with the guy!” said Vince Browbird, who was merely trying to rob an old lady. “I mean some of my favorites have been incapacitated by Spider-Man. I never thought that I’d be the guy to end him. But yeah, turns out a crowbar to the head can kind of kill anyone. Even Spider-Man.”

Long time Spider-Man critic J. Jonah Jameson was elated to hear that the killing blow was dealt by a non ‘super-weirdo’.

“We’ve been in a non-stop celebration mode. Now that this spider has stopped rampaging our city I can go back to reporting on the news!” said the newspaper magnate. “If only my photographer got a good shot of what happened, but I haven’t seen that Parker kid in like a week!”

As of press time, Spider-Man’s funeral is set to be the same day as the random goon’s parade.

Uninspired Stephen King Seen Wandering Home Depot Looking for Ideas

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Mark Roebuck

BANGOR, Maine — Legendary horror novelist Stephen King was recently spotted poking around various aisles of a Home Depot store, clearly seeking inspiration for a new story, several employees confirmed.

“I didn’t realize who it was at first,” said Home Depot employee Edmund Long. “And when I asked if he needed help with any of the landscaping equipment he was looking at, he just said no and started talking about the damage you could do to a guy with one of these weed whackers. That’s when I realized who I was talking to: the absolute GOAT, Stephen King! I told him I was a big fan and he pulled me in close and whispered that he’s been out of shit for like six years at this point and asked what I thought the scariest things we sold were. I told him probably something to do with septic tank stuff, but then he told me I didn’t understand what he meant. Weird guy.”

King, a longtime Maine resident, has taken to moseying around various stores in town lately, much to the speculation of many in the community.

“Stephen’s lived here forever, but always kept to himself,” said local resident Mark Peck. “That is until recently. Now, it seems like everyone’s spotting him here or there. My neighbor said [Stephen King] came into the windshield factory he works at and demanded to see the most dangerous machines, and Paul from work swears he saw him at the cemetery writing names down off of gravestones. Something very unsettling is happening to that man. Well, that or he’s finally out of shit.”

King, however, defended his recent eccentric behavior.

“No way I’m out of ideas,” he said, speaking from his home in Maine as he sorted out his recent Home Depot purchases. “Hey, did you ever see a tiny little chainsaw like this? Look at this little fucker. Man. I’m thinking some children, some chapters that start with rock and roll lyrics as quotes, and some sort of a bloodbath or two involving a tiny chainsaw. Oh, and maybe The Keymaker! No, wait, no, that’s right, I just needed an extra key made for my shed. Nothing scary about that, I suppose. Well, maybe with a little revising.”

As of press time, King had announced his upcoming 67th novel, A Big Box of Nails, will be available next Spring.

Microsoft Signs Deal That Will Bring ‘Call of Duty’ to Your Cousin’s House for the Weekend

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Mark Roebuck

REDMOND, Wash. — In their latest controversial move, Microsoft has finalized a deal that will see the new Call of Duty come to your cousin’s house for this weekend only.

“I’m gonna have the new Call of Duty game at my house,” said your cousin, who’s usually full of shit when it comes to things like this. “I swear to god. Microsoft called me and said since I was so good at Warzone, they were gonna let me try the new Call of Duty. Uh-huh. I know I lied before when I said I had a PlayStation 5 and I’d really just spraypainted Dad’s old VCR white, but this time I’m telling the truth. They just called me up and were like, ‘Hey Dylan, do you want to play the new Call of Duty this weekend?’ and I was just like, ‘Sure.’”

Despite sounding implausible and much like one of Dylan’s numerous exaggerations, the claim was confirmed by Microsoft earlier today, much to the surprise of the media and public alike.

“Wow, what a shocking deal,” said local gamer Tony Hilton. “Ahead of the November 10th release date, I guess Microsoft is letting some kid play the game all weekend? Sounds weird, but okay. Maybe they’re trying to get him to stream it or write a review or something. I know if I was a friend or family member of that kid’s, I’d be making sure I got my ass over to his house to play that game this weekend. It sounds awesome.”

The unprecedented landmark deal was closed after hours of negotiations between Microsoft, Dylan, Dylan’s parents, and several mediators.

“I told them Dylan can play his war game if he cleans his room,” said your aunt Susan, Dylan’s mother. “And lo and behold they put it into this huge contract. So when I tell Dylan he can’t get on Call of Duty until he cleans his room, I actually have it in writing now. Also I made it say that Dylan has to call his cousin and invite him over to play. And let him use the good controller too, Dylan! It’s all in the contract.”

As of press time, Dylan’s uncle that works at Nintendo was also going to stop by with the new Switch 2 this weekend, possibly.

ACME Corporation Introduces Slightly Less Dangerous Self Driving Car Than Tesla

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Mark Roebuck

SOMEWHERE NEAR ALBUQUERQUE — ACME Industries, manufacturers of notably explosive products, introduced a self-driving car that has proven to be slightly less dangerous than an average Tesla, sources have confirmed.

“Not bad, not bad at all,” said a safety inspector writing on their clipboard shortly after watching a prototype of the new ACME Model 1 explode sky high after encountering a speed bump. “Obviously we have some revisions to make on the safety-and-randomly-exploding side of things, but I am pretty sure we’re right in the middle of the pack currently. Our brakes work and shit, so that’s nice. When that pilot parachutes down here we’ll get his thoughts too. If he survived, I mean.”

Automobile enthusiasts were shocked by ACME’s sudden entrance into the competitive EV field.

“Wow, the guys that make giant mallets and bombs,” asked local resident Fiona Burke. “Fuck it, why not? I was skeptical, but then I saw all the cool bells and whistles, like the digital dashboard and the thing that shoots oil down behind you in case anyone is following you. Now I’m thinking it’s actually pretty bad ass? The way it explodes if you hit the wrong button on the key fob is a little troubling to me, though. Like, why even put that button on there?”

Longtime supporters of ACME say it’s merely the latest in a long line of brilliant innovations.

“This is incredible, maybe the best thing available in the entire ACME Catalog,” said Kurt Jarvis, a vocal ACME fan. “From the giant rockets that never really work like they’re supposed to all the way to the dynamite plunger that just blows up in your face, that catalog is packed with genius ideas, and this one takes the cake. ACME is so great. I’m sure one day they’ll make something that doesn’t blow up.”

As of press time, a stray roadrunner had broken into the ACME demonstration and completely ruined it for everybody.

Martin Scorsese Movies Ranked by How Much MCU Characters Would Improve Them

Posted on October 31, 2023 by Rob Steinberg

Hoo boy, Marty is at it again! Martin Scorsese recently set off the Marvel Cinematic Universe fandom by saying… uh, look, I don’t know what exactly he said this time, but everyone’s going on about it again, having the same arguments about the merits of art vs. box office. While there’s no way to tell for certain what everyone’s upset about, one thing we are pretty positive about is that you’re not going to see Scorsese using any Marvel characters in his movies anytime soon. Which is a shame, because we have some pretty good ideas about how most of his movies could be improved with some participation from the iconic lineup of heroes and villains. Which Martin Scorsese movie would benefit the most from a super hero or two? Keep reading and find out!

26. Kundun

Oof almighty there’s no way this movie about Tibet is going to have any place in the Marvel Universe. Best to keep all MCU characters as far away from this one as possible.

25. The Last Temptation Of Christ

Too controversial. Disney would not care for being attached to this in any way. Save all that Jesus imagery and edginess for the Snyderverse.

24. Goodfellas

Spoiler Alert: in the end, Henry Hill defeats the criminals by using his time stopping powers. This one doesn’t need superheroes because it already has one.

23. New York, New York

The movie takes place the day after World War II ended. If it timed its moment better, Captain America could have appeared. Perhaps the Eternals can fit in there somewhere?

22. Mean Streets

Surprise, surprise, another movie of Martin’s that takes place in New York. But what if instead it takes place in Wakanda? One could say that Wakanda is a character in the Marvel Universe itself. Or what about Danny The Street? Is that MCU?

21. Silence

These Priests would have had better luck saving their mentor if Iron Man was there. Just Saying.

20. Who’s Knocking At My Door

Martin Scorsese being the great writer he is, never bothered to give the second biggest main character in the movie a name so she is just credited as “girl”. This is the perfect chance to make her revealed to be She-Hulk villain.

19. Bringing Out The Dead

First off, despite the title, not even a zombie movie. It’s just some guy driving around in an ambulance. Dr. Strange heals people plus he fights zombies so it’s a clear answer to what this movie needs.

18. Casino

If Spider-Man shows up at the casino to fight the mobsters, one of the henchmen can quip to the teenage superhero, “Sorry, no minors allowed” and get a huge laugh.

17. The Irishman

The leaked behind the scenes photo for The Irishman shows Robert DeNiro wearing crazy platform shoes to make himself look taller. You know who else changes sizes? Ant-Man. Imagine the wacky hi-jinks of Ant-Man battling it out against a guy with size changing shoes!

16. After Hours

The wacky hi-jinks of this down-of-his-luck yuppie in New York would be a great improvement if Thanos showed up. He could be like “Can this night get any worse?” and then suddenly Thanos snaps him away.

15. Hugo

Sacre bleu! It is Paris, only some years before WWII! What a fitting time to sneak in Red Skull and the rest of Hydra!

14. Boxcar Bertha

This rag-tag group of fugitives can use a wise cracking Rocket Raccoon. Since it is the 1930’s, they can sync scenes up to their own version of Awesome Mix Vol.1 with classic depression era songs like ‘Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries’ and ‘I Like Bananas (Because They Have No Bones).’

13. The Age Of Innocence

This can be a prequel to Age of Ultron.

12. The Color Of Money

Picture this: The expert pool player Paul Newman versus the expert archer Hawkeye. Who has better aim at making a thing hit another thing? What great threat will cause them to team up?

11. Gangs Of New York

Another historical piece. That means the best bet is to bring in The Eternals! It would greatly improve the movie to see where a buff Kumail Nanjiani stands on the feuds with Irish immigrants.

10. Shutter Island

This one would be great if it turned out to be the trappings of Mysterio or Loki!

9. Cape Fear

The villain likes to climb under cars, Spider-Man likes to climb on walls. The possibilities for these two are endless!

8. Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

At the beginning of the movie Alice is living in New Mexico. You know what other movie takes place in New Mexico? Thor. It writes itself!

7. The Aviator

Howard Hughes’ greatest nemesis is germs, but lacks the conflict to make germs seem threatening. If Ant-Man and Howard team up to shrink down and fight the germs in the Quantum Mania, now we’re talking!

6. The Wolf Of Wall Street

Stan Lee can cameo as a talking quaalude.

5. The Departed

Having a movie take place in Boston was a bold, experimental choice for Scorsese which would have been even better if there was a Boston Vision or Boston Black Widow to pick a fight in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot.

4. Killers Of The Flower Moon

Both Robert DeNiro and Leonardo DiCaprio appear in this film, making it the millionth film of Scorsese to include both actors playing roles. Now is the best time to reveal that each of their previous characters are related through the multiverse and are fighting Kang The Conqueror.

3. The King Of Comedy

Rupert Pupkin is such a hysterical comedian. He belongs with literally any Marvel character for help. Those guys always know the perfect quip to say. The perfect team up for Deadpool for one of his always hilarious dick jokes!

2. Taxi Driver

Just replace Travis Bickle with baby Groot. All those narrations about society that first year film students love so much can be wonderfully replaced with “I am Groot” over and over as a tree drives around the city.

1. Raging Bull

Jake LaMotta is a boxer, so imagine how much better it would be if we saw him face off against the Hulk. Better yet, when he gains weight he is just like when Thor gained weight! Those two should have teamed up for the final battle. Plus it’s in black and white so clearly Scarlet Witch is up to this!

Robocop Rogue City Game Pass Guide: Is it on Game Pass?

Posted on October 31, 2023 by Tarun Sayal

The countdown is on for the launch of RoboCop: Rogue City, the game that lets you become the ultimate law enforcer in a dystopian future. You can blast your way through crime and corruption on various platforms, but will you be able to access it on Xbox Game Pass? The game was supposed to hit the shelves in June 2023, but it faced some technical glitches and legal issues that pushed it back to November.

In fact, PC gamers got a taste of RoboCop: Rogue City on October 4, 2023, when a demo version was launched on Steam. But what about Xbox Game Pass subscribers? They are always eager to know if the next big game will be included in their membership, and RoboCop: Rogue City is no exception. If you are one of them, look no further.

Is RoboCop: Rogue City on Game Pass?

The short answer is no. RoboCop: Rogue City is not coming to Xbox Game Pass. There has been no official announcement from Microsoft or Nacon, the publisher of the game, regarding its inclusion in the service. This means that if you want to play RoboCop: Rogue City, you will have to buy it separately.

The game is available for PC, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, and Xbox Series X/S. The price of the game varies depending on the platform and edition. The standard edition costs $49.99 for PC and $59.99 for consoles. The deluxe edition, which includes the season pass and some exclusive items, costs $59.99 for PC and $69.99 for consoles.

RoboCop: Rogue City is a well-received game that brings the RoboCop universe to life. The game offers satisfying shooting, diverse skills, and immersive sim elements. However, it suffers from technical problems, poor animations, easy difficulty, and glitches.

How to Pre-order the New RoboCop Game

You can follow these steps to pre-order RoboCop: Rogue City:

Visit the official website of RoboCop: Rogue City or the online store of your preferred platform, such as PlayStation Store, GameStop, or Amazon.
Look for the pre-order section or button on the website or store page.
Choose the edition you want to pre-order, such as the Standard edition or the Alex Murphy edition.
Follow the instructions to complete the pre-order process, which may include providing your personal and payment information.
Once you have completed the pre-order, you should receive a confirmation email or message with the details of your purchase and any pre-order bonuses or early access offers.

RoboCop: Rogue City is a treat for fans of the movies, but it might not appeal to everyone. It offers a solid shooting experience with a lot of personality and humor, but it also suffers from some technical flaws and limitations. You can decide for yourself if it’s worth buying or not by watching some gameplay videos or reading some user reviews online. Or, you can play another new release like Spider-Man 2!

Nation’s Parents Pissed at Finding Out ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Was Also on Peacock This Whole Fucking Time

Posted on October 31, 2023 by Jerrod Kingery

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — The big screen adaptation of the video game Five Nights at Freddy’s pulled in $80 million in ticket sales during its opening weekend, despite the fact the movie was also released on NBC Universal’s Peacock streaming service at the same time, a fact that the nation’s parents were shocked to discover.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” asked local parent Steve Hokanson as he waited in line to pick up his son at Harper Elementary School. “I took my kid and three of his rowdy ass friends to the goddamn theater on a Saturday afternoon, spent like a hundred bucks on snacks and shit, had to listen to their inane bullshit, and the whole fucking time it was right there on our fucking TV? Shit ass—”

Hokanson abruptly cut off his statement as his son climbed into the backseat. Red-faced, Hokanson turned around to curse at his son about slamming the door before speeding out of the parking lot. Meanwhile across town, his wife was similarly displeased to learn of the film’s availability.

“I love to watch The Office while I’m doing chores around the house, so we got a subscription to Peacock, but I had no idea,” Danielle Jones said, growing visibly frustrated while at her daughter’s gymnastics class. “The kids have all the stupid Freddy Fazbear toys and bugged the hell out of us to take them to that piece of shit movie. I could’ve just parked them in front of the TV on Saturday morning and gone out with my girlfriends that night after all. Fuck me.”

Matthew Benavides, vice president of marketing for Peacock, says the strategy for releasing “Five Nights at Freddy’s” in both theaters and on the streaming platform came down to one thing: no one uses Peacock, and even Peacock subscribers forget they subscribed to it.

Executives from Peacock say the strategy behind putting the film on their platform was to encourage people to either subscribe to Peacock or remember that they’re currently subscribed to Peacock.

“A few months ago we were sitting around having some beers with [Five Nights at Freddy’s producer] Jason [Blum], and we tossed around the idea of releasing the movie theatrically and on the platform the same day,” said Matthew Benavides, vice president of marketing for Peacock. “Jason was worried about the box office money we’d be leaving on the table, but us Peacock guys just laughed and bet him a round of drinks it wouldn’t fucking matter.”

“Next round’s on Jason!” Benavides added.

At press time, an ad for Peacock featuring Five Nights at Freddy’s went ignored on Fandango.com as another hapless parent paid $75 for their family of six to attend a Saturday afternoon showing.