Ethan Krause, Author at Hard Drive

Overwatch 2: How to Play Reaper (Abilities, Skins, & Changes)

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Daniel Solomon

The choice of edgy teenage boys everywhere, here’s the artist formerly known as Gabriel Reyes, now going a considerably more moody moniker and matching aesthetic: Overwatch 2‘s Reaper. Beneath his whole Death Incarnate shtick, Reaper is just the grumpiest of old men – his voice lines often sound like my Dad stuck in traffic. Die, die, die.

If you find yourself cut down by Reaper’s shotguns after he’s ghosted in behind you, you can place the blame solely at Moira’s feet – her experiments are responsible for the violent monstrosity that is Reaper. These experiments have left him living in a “state of constant agony,” in his own words, for the fact that his body can dissipate and reform at will, due to his cellular makeup now decaying and restoring at a greatly accelerated pace. That really does sound like it hurts.

Read on for the low down on Reaper’s abilities, skins, tips, and build changes for Overwatch 2.

Overwatch 2: Reaper’s Abilities

Hellfire Shotguns: a pair of short-ranged shotguns, which rely on proximity to an enemy for full damage output due to the spread of the 20 pellets, and a damage fall-off of between ten and 20 meters. They pack a serious punch up close though – a shot with all pellets landing on the same target hits for 108, and even more if it’s a headshot. A good chunk of Overwatch 2’s heroes will fall to a couple of shots here. The shotguns reload their eight capacity mags quickly too, only taking about a second and a half.

Wraith Form (Active): Forgo your attacking capability, but gain 50% faster movement speed and invulnerability for up to three seconds, or less if you cancel early. Wraith Form also removes negative status effects, reloads your weapons, and has a cooldown time of eight seconds.. Plus, it looks cool as hell.

Shadow Step (Active): Teleport yourself up to 35 meters away – perfect for sneak attacks and dropping in to flank enemy teams. You are exposed during the wind-up animation, which lasts for around two seconds, so be cautious when you deploy it.

The Reaping (Passive): This passive ability heals Reaper for 35% of all damage dealt, including environmental kills if you knock someone off the map. Helps to offset his modest 250 HP, and facilitates a good old fashioned rampage.

Role: Damage (Passive): As a damage hero, Reaper is granted a 25% boost to reload and movement speed after each elimination for two and a half seconds.

Death Blossom (Ultimate): Do a little dance, make a little death. Spin around for three seconds, doing 170 damage per second to each enemy within 8 metres for a brutal AoE ult. While it does nerf for your movement speed by half for its duration, you do somehow emerge with a full clip to carry on blastin’ with.

How has Reaper Changed for Overwatch 2?

Reaper has made the jump between games relatively unscathed, with a slight (but manageable) nerf to his primary weapons and the addition of a new passive:

Hellfire Shotguns damage has decreased, and now hits for 5.4 per pellet, down from 6.
The shotgun’s spread angle has also decreased by a degree, from 8 to 7.
Addition of Role: Damage passive ability, boosting reload and movement speed after a kill.

While it may hit a little softer, the tightening of Hellfire’s spread has slightly increased Reaper’s capability over distance. No huge, dramatic changes here, thankfully.

Reaper Strategy

Given that Reaper’s dual shotguns don’t have the greatest range on them, you’re gonna have to get in close to the enemy to maximize your damage output. Reaper’s abilities compliment this, as Shadow Step lets you drop in at a point of your choosing, providing it’s within range.

Use this mobility to flank the opposing team, unload a clip into their poor, unsuspecting faces, and then Wraith Form off to safety. Rinse, lather, and repeat to really get on their nerves, and leave them with little recourse. This is a particularly good strat for dealing with support heroes, and making openings for the rest of your team to move in.

The strength of the Hellfire Shotguns in proximity makes Reaper a contender in a duel with a tank hero too. If you can get a full clip into a tank on a surprise attack, the odds are you’re gonna be walking away to keep on aggravating.

It’d be remiss to not talk about Death Blossom, as it’s borderline unfair how effectively you can dispatch an entire team if they’re all huddled up together, and with the exception of a stun ability catching you, can’t be stopped. When you see a big group on the defensive, such as escorting a payload, you can rain death from above by Shadow Stepping over them and activating your ult as you’re landing. Just be glad you’re not on their voice channel as you do so.

And while you can cover distance in the blink of an eye, you’ll need to be wary of more agile heroes, as Reaper is not the spring chicken he used to be. Ranged weapons can make for hard times too if you don’t have an escape route or ability ready, as there’s not much to be done for heroes outside of your shotgun’s reach.

Reaper Skins in Overwatch 2

Reaper’s got 23 skins available at launch in Overwatch 2, with many returning from the previous title. Hellfire looks like how I imagine Guy Fieri sees himself in the mirror, and so is my firm recommendation here.

Name	Information
Overwatch 1	Common skin Free, unlocked by default
Overwatch 2	Common skin Free, unlocked by default
Blackwatch Reyes	Legendary skin Unlocked by buying Overwatch: Origins, Game of the Year, or Legendary Editions Also available in the Watchpoint Pack
Nevermore	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins
Plague Doctor	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins
El Blanco	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins
Mariachi	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins
Biker	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Dracula	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Pumpkin	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Rat King	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Lü Bu	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Soldier: 24	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Evermore	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Masquerade	Legendary skin 1,900 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Desert	Epic skin 1,000 Overwatch Coins
Hellfire	Epic skin 1,000 Overwatch Coins
Wight	Epic skin 1,000 Overwatch Coins
Shiver	Epic skin 1,000 Overwatch Coins Seasonal
Blood	Rare skin 300 Overwatch Coins
Midnight	Rare skin 300 Overwatch Coins
Moss	Rare skin 300 Overwatch Coins
Royal	Rare skin 300 Overwatch Coins

Overwatch 2: How to Play Zenyatta (Abilities, Skins & Changes)

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Paulo Kawanishi

The calm and meditative Zenyatta is a strong support character that players can play with in Overwatch 2. He has a unique identity as support, considering he can not only heal his teammates but also facilitate several eliminations. Mastering Zenyatta depends on many hours of practice and deep knowledge about his kit which you can learn in this guide.

Zenyatta’s Abilities

As a support character, Zenyatta’s kit is based on a mix of healing and utility. Besides that, he can cause a lot of damage compared to other support characters.

Zenyatta uses the Orbs of Destruction to attack, holding 20 of them before needing to reload. His Primary Attack shoots quite fast one orb at a time, while his Secondary Attack is a charging attack that can shoot up to 5 orbs at the same time causing a lot of damage. Since Zenyatta needs to stay far from enemies for safety, he was designed as a long-range character. Even so, some practice must be done in order to master the timing of each projectile.

In terms of abilities, the first one you need to learn about is the Orb of Harmony. This is Zenyatta’s healing skill. When used, Zenyatta places an orb on one teammate who is going to receive healing over time as long as they stay in your line of sight. If you lose sight of them, the orb disappears. It’s important to keep in mind that you can only place one Orb of Harmony, so if you want to heal more than one character, it will take a little longer. On the other hand, the skill has no cooldown, so swapping it to another character is pretty easy.

Zenyatta’s second ability is the Orb of Discord which works pretty similarly to the Orb of Harmony. However, this is a utility skill that increases the damage the enemy player to whom you have placed the orb takes. Thanks to Zenyatta’s changes in Overwatch 2, though, this orb disappears faster than the Orb of Harmony.

While both Orbs are the heart of Zenyatta’s kit, his passive skills help him stay alive during a match. The Support passive, which all support characters have received, heals Zenyatta after a period of time without taking damage. His second passive, Snap Kick, increases his melee damage and its knockback effect, which is great for Zenyatta to protect himself from enemy players that go after him at the backline.

To complement Zenyatta’s kit and give him a boost in terms of healing, he has his ultimate called Transcendence. By using it, Zenyatta becomes invulnerable to damage, but he still can suffer knockbacks. His movement speed is also boosted and Zenyatta creates a field around him that heals teammates. This is an important skill to ensure your team stays alive when the enemy team starts a fight.

Overwatch 2 Zenyatta Changes

All of Zenyatta's new changes in Overwatch 2.

Compared to other characters, Zenyatta hasn’t changed that much since the first version of Overwatch. However, considering the minor tweaks he suffered, he has become a little more vulnerable to damage and at the same time, his kit forces him to get exposed more often. Here is the list of changes Zenyatta suffered in Overwatch 2.

Zenyatta now has the Support passive ability which recovers his health after some time.
Zenyatta’s shield was reduced by 25 points.
The Orb of Discord will deactivate once your target gets out of your line of sight for more than two seconds.
Zenyatta’s melee attack deals more damage and the knockback effect has increased.

Zenyatta Strategy and Team Composition

Players who pick Zenyatta are going to follow the basic ideas for any squishy support while also having in mind that this character has the potential for considerable damage output.

As a support, you are supposed to stay at the backline of your team. This will give not only room to attack enemies with your Orbs of Destruction, but it will also give you a better vision to track teammates and place the Orbs of Harmony and Discord.

The first important thing when playing Zenyatta is to keep your Orb of Harmony up all the time. Since he heals over regular intervals, maintaining it up in any teammate all the time may prevent their health from getting too low and reaching a point in which his healing is almost ineffective. Even when they are full-health, just place the orb on a teammate and keep track of the others to see if you need to replace the orb.

The same mindset works for the Orb of Discord. Make it a habit of having it placed on an enemy character all the time. However, in normal situations, you may want to prioritize some characters, like tanks who are usually beefier taking a lot of damage to kill them. Place the Orb of Discord on them and help your team to destroy the enemy’s frontline. Another option is to use the Orb of Discord to keep track of some enemies too and to help teammates that are facing a particular enemy character.

Zenyatta’s damage output is great and you should keep firing your Orbs of Destruction from afar. Give preference for the Secondary Attack in situations when you are facing squishy characters, such as the Widowmaker and Tracer. Otherwise, practice looking for headshots with your Primary Attacks.

Playing as a Zenyatta means knowing how to take the most out of his ultimate. Transcendence is an extremely powerful healing skill that can save you and your teammates from Pharah’s Barrage, Zarya’s Graviton Surge combo, and Genji’s Dragonblade for example. So, it’s more of a defensive skill! Save it for when you think the enemy team’s ultimates are up to avoid having your team wiped. On the other hand, since playing Zenyatta also means you’re constantly attacking, his ultimate gets fully charged considerably fast. Because of that, you don’t need to be afraid of using it to escape from a complicated situation or just heal your tank who took too much damage for your Orb of Harmony handle.

In terms of team composition, Zenyatta is a great healer to have alongside characters such as Tracer, Genji, and Widomaker, because the Orb of Harmony healing is enough for them. On the other hand, he is not a great healer to take care of the team’s tank. Because of that, pairing Zenyatta with a support character whose healing is stronger such as Mercy may be the best option.

Overwatch 2 Zenyatta Skins

All of Zenyatta's Overwatch 2 skins.

As of the time of writing this guide, Zenyatta has a total of 22 skins available in Overwatch 2. Many of them are tied to seasonal events, making their availability related to the period of the year.

Overwatch 1 – unlocked automatically
Overwatch 2 – unlocked automatically

Rare (75 credits)

Air
Earth
Leaf
Water

Epic (250 credits)

Ascendant
Carbon Fiber
Harmonious
Skullyatta – Seasonal event

Legendary (1900 credits)

Cultist – Seasonal event
Djinnyatta
Fastball – Seasonal event
Huitzilopochtli – Seasonal event
Ifrit
Ra
Nutcracker – Seasonal event
Sanzang – Seasonal event
Sunyatta
Toybot
Zealot – Seasonal event
Zhuge Liang – Seasonal event

You can now have fun playing as Zenyatta!

Overwatch 2: How to Play Pharah (Abilities, Skins & Changes)

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Paulo Kawanishi

Pharah is a fun and powerful character in Overwatch 2 that comes from the first version of the game. With her capacity of flying over enemies to shoot her rocket launcher, Pharah becomes deadly when played by skillful players. And although her kit may seem simple to understand, she demands from players to know the right moment to use her abilities and manage her flight.

Pharah’s Abilities

Compared to other characters in Overwatch 2, Pharah’s design makes her quite singular. Her abilities are completely focused on damage dealing and making her a difficult target for the enemy team.

Pharah uses a rocket launcher as her Primary Attack which shoots long-range projectiles that can cause a lot of damage. Her basic attack is pretty simple, but you’ll need some time to adjust your aim. After all, each projectile takes a considerable amount of time to reach the target depending on how far they are.

On the other hand, in contrast with other long-rage characters like Widowmaker or Hanzo, Pharah doesn’t need to directly hit the enemy to damage them. Since her projectiles are explosives, simply hitting the ground or a wall near an enemy is sufficient to cause damage.

Although powerful, Pharah’s rocket launcher potential is hidden behind her unique trait. Pharah comes with a Passive Ability called Hover Jets which allows her to fly for as long as her fuel lasts. Pharah’s capacity for looming over the enemy team’s backline is what makes her extremely useful.

Her second Passive Ability is Damage, which boosts Pharah’s movement and reloading speed after eliminating an enemy.

To complement her kit, Pharah comes with other two abilities that improve her kit or work on her weakness. First, Pharah has the Jump Jet ability which propels her upwards. The Jump Jet is great to compensate for moments when Pharah is running out of fuel to fly or to reach places that are too high for her. Her second skill is the Concussive Blast. With this one, Pharah shoots a blast that knocks back not only enemies but herself. This is a great skill to quickly avoid an attack while in the middle of the air or break the enemy’s composition.

The last piece of Pharah’s kit is her ultimate called Barrage. This is a powerful attack in which Pharah shoots several projectiles. The drawbacks of this ability are that the direction of the attack is based on Pharah’s point of view and that she becomes extremely vulnerable while using it.

Overwatch 2 Pharah Changes

Pharah comes to Overwatch 2 without major changes. Her kit is still the same, having only small aspects of her skills suffered modifications.

Pharah’s reload time received a small buff when she is out of ammo.
Like all Damage characters, Pharah has a new passive called Damage.
Her Concussive Blast’s knockback effect, besides dealing damage, has been amplified when it’s a direct hit.

Pharah Strategy and Team Compositions

While Pharah’s kit is easy to understand, playing her requires good positioning and keeping track of your cooldowns. Your main goal as a Pharah is to stay in the air as much as you can, giving you the advantage of the higher ground. However, knowing how to manage your fuel is essential. Take advantage of small walkways or places where you can stand for a while until your fuel is replenished. Otherwise, you will eventually find yourself in the middle of the enemy team.

Pharah is a great character to break shields, but keeping her shooting Reinhardt’s shield is not your best choice. You usually want to fly over walls or buildings to attack the enemy team’s backline, looking for support and some damage dealers, like Hanzo, since they are squishy and die easily.

Pharah’s Jump Jet and Concussive Blast are great abilities to be used in order to prevent damage or complicated situations. While facing the possibility of being picked off, you can just use Jump Jet and escape. On the other hand, Concussive Blast is great to keep your distance from enemies. There are, however, situations in which Concussive Blast can be used more aggressively. Whenever you see an enemy close to the map’s edge, you can make them fall into it using your skill to knock back them. It’s also possible to take enemy players from a shelter or behind a wall with Concussive Blast. Take these opportunities to give your team the upper hand.

A final piece of advice in terms of playing Pharah is about her ultimate. Barrage is powerful but as mentioned Pharah becomes too vulnerable while the volley of projectiles is being shot. So, when thinking about using it, give preferences activating Barrage together with your teammates’ ultimates, like Zarya’s Graviton Surge or Reinhardt’s Earthshatter.

In terms of team compositions, Pharah is always a good option with Mercy. This duo has been strong since the previous version of the game and it hasn’t changed yet. Pharah is also great with a composition based on heroes that will put a lot of pressure on the frontline enemy. In situations like this, she can flank the enemy team and call their attention, lowering the defense on the frontline.

Overwatch 2 Pharah Skins

As of the time of writing this guide, Pharah has a total of 25 skins available for her in Overwatch 2. Keep in mind that some of them are tied to Seasonal Events, so their availability is limited to the periods of such events.

Overwatch 1 – Automatically unlocked
Overwatch 2 – Automatically unlocked

Rare (75 credits)

Amethyst
Copper
Emerald
Titanium

Epic (250 credits)

Anubis
Carbon Fiber – Seasonal event
Frostbite – Seasonal event
Jackal
Possessed – Seasonal event

Legendary (1900 credits)

ASP
Aviator – Seasonal event
Bedouin – Seasonal event
Enchanted Armor – Seasonal event
Lifeguard – Seasonal event
Mechaqueen
Mechatron – Seasonal event
Orbital – Seasonal event
Qinglong – Seasonal event
Raptorion
Raindancer
Security Chief – Unlocked to those that purchased the first Overwatch
Sky Centurion – Seasonal Event
Thunderbird

Now you’re ready to dominate the skies in Overwatch 2.

Overwatch 2: How to Play D. Va (Abilities, Skins, & Changes)

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Kaan Serin

D.Va is a pro gamer who uses a bulky mech suit, so she’s living the life most of us dream of. Overwatch 2‘s DVa is a unique character in since she essentially has two lives. First, there’s her health pool while she’s in the suit. Once that’s destroyed, D.Va will be a nimble, pistol-using fighter waiting for her mech to charge again. D.Va is relatively easy to understand. Still, in the right hands, she can be lethal with her ability to isolate and bully enemies.

D.Va is a formidable tank hero. In the mech suit, D.Va has a health pool of 650. However, outside of the mech, D.Va is vulnerable, with only 150 health points.

Overwatch 2 D.Va Guide – Weapons

Fusion Cannons

While in the mech, D.Va comes equipped with two automatic cannons that fire short-ranged bullets. The fusion cannons can deal ~150 damage per second and have infinite ammo. The fusion cannons also deal critical damage on headshots, so a close-ranged D.Va can be a massive problem for low-health targets like Zenyatta.

D.Va’s movement speed will slow down while she’s firing; however, she can keep firing while using her booster ability.

Light Gun

Once D.Va’s mech suit is destroyed, she’ll eject from it and begin using her light gun. Her only form of defense will be her handgun. The light gun deals 14 damage per projectile and fires 7 bullets per second, meaning an unsuited D.Va can deal 98 damage per second. The light gun holds 20 ammo per clip.

D.Va is largely vulnerable in this state, so keep your distance from enemies and try to land as many shots as possible before your mech charges again.

Overwatch 2 DVa Guide – Abilities

Boosters

D.Va’s boosters are an essential part of her moveset. These thrusters allow D.Va to speed forward and fly through the air for 2 seconds. If you bash into an enemy while boosting, D.Va will deal 25 damage and has a knockback effect. The ability has a cooldown of 4 seconds.

D.Va’s boosters can be used in a variety of ways. Using the thrusters with her fusion cannons, D.Va can isolate and push back a lone Widowmaker, Hanzo, or Zenyatta and essentially solo kill them. The boosters can be used to dive into enemy formations, disorientate them and disrupt their positioning. Of course, the boosters can also be used to run from dangerous situations while alone.

Defense Matrix

D.Va’s defense matrix is her primary way of mitigating damage as a tank hero. Defense matrix will cast a projection in front of D.Va that will soak up and remove enemy bullets and projectiles, regardless of how much damage they do. D.Va can only have her defense matrix up for a maximum of 3 seconds and it takes 6 seconds to fully charge.

The only damage that D.Va can’t mitigate with this ability are beam attacks like Zarya’s primary fire. D.Va’s defense matrix can be used at the same time as her micro missile ability.

D.Va’s defense matrix can entirely block Ultimate Abilities from Soldier 76 and Pharah and is best used sporadically since it takes a while to fully charge in relation to how long it lasts.

Micro Missiles

D.Va’s micro missiles will fire explosive rockets in a straight line, dealing damage on impact and splash damage to close-by enemies. This ability fires 18 missiles, dealing 7-11 damage per hit. Micro missiles are long-range, so they can be used to deal marginal damage against enemies far away.

Micro missiles are best used offensively when pushing the enemy and diving in with the boosters.

Overwatch 2 D.Va Guide – Passive Abilities

Eject!

D.Va’s unique passive ability is that she will eject from her mech automatically when it is destroyed. You’ll lose all access to D.Va’s main abilities while out of the suit and only have access to the light gun.

Role: Tank

This is a passive ability that all tanks in Overwatch 2 have. This ability reduces the effect of knockback abilities.

Overwatch 2 D.Va Guide – Ultimate Abilities

D.Va is rare since she has two Ultimate Abilities, but players can use only one of them offensively.

Ultimate Ability: Self-Destruct

D.Va’s self-destruct can be charged and used while she’s inside the mech. This ability will have D.Va eject from her mech suit and automatically kill any enemies within its explosion radius. Self-destruct will deal 100-1000 damage depending on how close enemies are.

Self-destruct will take three seconds from casting until it explodes. Her Ultimate can also be used with her booster to send D.Va’s exploding mech flying through the air. Self-destruct can also be activated when your mech suit runs out of health.

Self-destruct can be a game-changing ability if used correctly since it can wipe out entire teams. It’s best used on objectives like a moving payload to remove a few enemies and disperse them from the objective. Even if self-destruct doesn’t kill many enemies, it will send them running, allowing your team to chase after them and deal damage while they’re distracted.

Self-destruct is a great ability to use alongside other Ultimates. In an open queue game, D.Va can match her Ultimate with Zarya’s or Reinhardt’s to eliminate enemies while they can’t escape. Mei’s Blizzard can also be used for the same effect.

Self-destruct has an ultimate charge of 1500, so it charges relatively quickly. Use it as often as possible since it’s a fairly easy way to eliminate a few enemies.

Ultimate Ability: Call Mech

D.Va’s Ultimate, while she’s out of the mech, just lets her call it again. It only has an ultimate charge of ~300. Keep a distance from foes while you deal damage, and your mech will charge very quickly. Your main priority is to stay alive, but you can deal a decent amount of damage while out of the suit. The suit can also deal 250 damage if it lands on an enemy target.

Overwatch 2 DVa Changes

D.Va is one of the original tanks in Overwatch, and she hasn’t changed much in the transition to Overwatch 2. Here are all the changes to D.Va in Overwatch 2:

D.Va’s mech suit now has a health pool of 650, up from 600.
The booster ability now deals 25 damage instead of 10.
D.Va now receives the Role: Tank passive ability that all tanks do.
D.Va’s defense matrix has more charge, allowing her to soak up more damage.

Overwatch 2 DVa Guide – Strategy & Team Composition

Since D.Va is now a solo tank in competitive play, it’s her responsibility to block damage more than ever. In addition, D.Va’s high health and great mobility mean that she should lead the team into objectives and team fights. The key is to combine all of D.Va’s different abilities and use them simultaneously. For example, defense matrix and boosters should be used together when diving into a fight; this will mitigate damage until you’re close enough to deal lethal damage.

During team fights, D.Va is great at breaking up the enemy and applying pressure onto targets. Supports like Mercy and Zenyatta won’t last long once you boost into them with your missiles activated.

D.Va is a great match with a close-knit, fast-moving team. A Lucio is an ideal support character for a D.Va-centric team as he provides the speed and gradual healing needed for group dives. This would be a formidable cluster of heroes if you also have a Genji on the team. Mercy is a solid support pick for D.Va as well. D.Va’s slow speed while firing will mean she’s in constant need of fast healing, which Mercy can provide. Mercy’s resurrection ability will be particularly annoying for the enemy after they spent time eliminating both of D.Va’s forms.

Overwatch 2 DVa Skins

D.Va has 23 unique skins in Overwatch 2 that change her and her mech’s appearance. You can unlock skins through the battle pass or purchase them in the in-game Shop.

Skins	Details
Overwatch 1	Common Skin Automatically unlocked
Overwatch 2	Common Skin Automatically unlocked
Blueberry	Rare Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Lemon-Lime	Rare Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Tangerine	Rare Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Watermelon	Rare Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Carbon FIber	Epic Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
White Rabbit	Epic Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 250 Legacy Credits 1000 Overwatch Coins
Tageukgi	Epic Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 1000 Overwatch Coins
Midnight	Epic Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Officer	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
EDM	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Junker	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 1000 Legacy Credits 1900 Overwatch Coins
Scavenger	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 1000 Legacy Credits 1900 Overwatch Coins
B.VA	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 1000 Legacy Credits 1900 Overwatch Coins
Junebug	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 1000 Legacy Credits 1900 Overwatch Coins
Black Cat	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 1000 Legacy Credits 1900 Overwatch Coins
Waveracer	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 1900 Overwatch Coins
Shin-Ryeong	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop 1900 Overwatch Coins
Sleighing	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Palanquin	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Academy	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Cruiser	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
Varsity	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop
White Cat	Legendary Skin Sometimes available in the Shop

New Stardew Valley Mod Lets You Know What Everyone in Town Says Behind Your Back

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Zack White

GARY, Ind. — Modder Stefanie Briggs released a new mod for Stardew Valley that allows the player to know what all the NPC characters in town say behind their back.

“I was just poking around the game files one day, and I found a folder called ‘gossip and grudges,’” Briggs explained. “It turns out they were a bunch of unused files containing all the conversations the NPCs have about you when you’re not around. Some really mean stuff, to be honest. I thought it wouldn’t be so hard to make a pop-up box to let you know when someone brought up something weird you said or mentioned that thing you did in Year 2 you thought everyone forgot about, so I made it happen. It’s hurtful at times, but it’s nice to know how everyone really feels about you while you’re playing.”

Developer Eric Barone, commonly known as ConcernedApe, confirmed that the files were part of the original structure of the game.

“In a pre-alpha version of the game I had planned to include a system where, every night, as you tried to fall asleep, you would have to navigate a variety of text boxes wondering what everyone in town really thought about you. You know, like in real life,” Barone said. “Due to time constraints, I could never finish this system, but the files have always been in the game, and are just as much a part of the characters as anything in the finished product. Sorry, but Pelican Town isn’t as wholesome as you thought! These villagers love to talk shit.”

When asked if the mod would affect the game’s status as a comfort game, Barone insisted it shouldn’t change anything at all.

“The game’s about forging real, human relationships. And real human relationships include everyone secretly thinking that you’re weird and bringing it up whenever you’re not in the room,” he insisted. “I’m glad Stefanie was finally able to bring this back to the game. Whether you enable the mod or not, the character’s think that about you, so you might as well get used to it.”

At press time, Barone explained, in great detail, the Group Chat system in his upcoming release Haunted Chocolatier, wherein every character in the game except the player is in a big group chat and no one will tell you what they talk about.

Twitch Viewer Watching xQc Watch Hasan Watch Mizkif’s Apology Stream Confused for Some Reason

Posted on October 12, 2022 by Saad Khan

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Twitch viewer Justin Howard reportedly had trouble following Mizkif’s statements in his recent apology stream that he watched xQc watch through Hasan Piker’s stream.

“It just seemed a little all over the place,” said Howard, straining to watch the recording of Mizkif’s stream embedded within Hasan’s stream embedded within xQc’s stream. “Mizkif mentioned something about his lawyers saying something which was cut off by Hasan saying something about content demons which was cut off by xQc saying he was just watching his best friend stream. Mizkif’s stream could’ve been much more organized, in my opinion.”

Howard reportedly tried messing with his volume controls to try and amplify Mizkif’s audio without amplifying xQc’s or Hasan’s, to no avail.

“Someone started playing Mario at one point and I couldn’t tell whose screen it was on,” he said. “They make these streams hard enough to follow in the first place without all this extra stuff. Then someone gifted like a thousand subs on one of the channels — no idea which — and alerts started going off like crazy. It’s so hard to keep up with social media discourse these days. You know it’s confusing when even a juicer like me can’t follow along.”

Despite difficulties, Howard remains vigilant that streaming is the best way to consume information.

“I’ve actually had an idea for a type of stream where it’s just one piece of content playing the whole time and you just watch it,” he explained. “There’s no other video stream along with it; it’s just the content by itself. I know that sounds pretty boring, and even I wonder who the hell would want to watch that, but maybe it’s worth trying. Until then, though, they should dial these streams back just a little bit.”

At press time, Howard was still attempting to clear up his confusion by watching a YouTube react of Moist Cr1TiKaL’s summary of Mizkif’s Twitch apology.

Senator Armstrong Answers the Web’s Most-Asked Questions

Posted on October 11, 2022 by Aaraf Afzal

We had the pleasure of sitting down with Colorado Senator and former presidential candidate Steven Armstrong and asking him to answer some of the questions you have been looking up about him on the internet.

Google: Why is Senator Armstrong… so strong?

Armstrong: Why is the rest of our government so weak? I’ll tell you why, son. Because none of these withering husks in power believe in anything!

You wanna know why I’m strong? You wanna peep how I rose to power? Because I promised action and I delivered action. Now… those actions may have resulted in some deaths, maybe 8,000 or so, but who’s counting? That’s besides the point.

Well, that and nanomachines. They harden the goods, ya know!

Google: Why is Senator Armstrong… a meme?

Armstrong: That’s actually an interesting one. You see, the original definition of “meme” as coined by brilliant evolutionary biologist and eugenics apologist Richard Dawkins refers to a “gene” passed through culture and conversation. I fought Jack for all of half an hour, but what I told him changed the course of his life forever. So my meme, in the strictest sense, persists because I am an idea you nerds can not shake.

Hard Drive: I’m sorry. Did you say “brilliant eugeni–”

Armstrong: Hey twerp! Is your name Google?

Hard Drive: Uh, no?

Armstrong: Then I’m not autocompleting your questions for shit. Keep ’em moving.

Google: Can Senator Armstrong… beat Goku?

Armstrong: Actually. Why the hell are we using Google anyway? These tech companies are harvesting our data to sell us back shit we don’t need, weaponizing the illusion of free choice against us. This question is inane. Nobody asks this. It was generated to sell Funko Pops. No more Google! Give me a real search engine. One fit for someone of my stature.

DuckDuckGo: Can Senator Armstrong… back that up with a source?

Armstrong: I am the source!

You can’t trust any “citation” on the internet these days. You make your own answers; you forge your own rules. A couple of years ago, some limp-dick fossils tried to call this sort of philosophy “alternative facts” — but they were being dishonest. They’re not alternative; they’re SELF-DEFINED! Don’t let the culture police take your truth from you! You came up with your reality, so the rights to it are yours. Begone, DuckDuckGo!

Yahoo: How is Senator Armstrong… the bad guy?

Armstrong: Hah! More propaganda! What do you think this is, some Aesop’s fable? There are no “good” or “bad” guys. Sure, I might have tried to steal children’s brains and start a war in Pakistan. And sure, I may have said we should kill any leftover kids once the brain lab was full. But I think we’re missing the bigger picture here: I did it for the economy! Every politician does it! Just because I got caught, you’re going to cancel me for it?

I have to be honest, gentlemen: I really feel like cancel culture has gone too far. These autocompletes are lying to you for brownie points. There’s only one website we can trust anymore. The last great American frontier: Reddit.

Bing: How do Senator Armstrong… Minecraft skin

Armstrong: Waste of my time…

[Armstrong then absorbed the soul of a nearby cameraman, hardening his arm into a spear with nanomachines, and murdering everyone involved in the production of this video, before walking off set.]

Who should we interview next? Andrew Ryan from Bioshock? Drop a comment below!

Moviegoer Floored They Somehow Got Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart in the Same Movie

Posted on October 11, 2022 by Camden Brazile

SAINT LOUIS, Mo. — Local theater patron Jack Whitlock’s film expectations were reportedly shattered by a new trailer that somehow achieved the feat of having both Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart in the same movie.

“Holy shit. Holy. Shit,” Whitcomb said, rising up out of his seat to applaud the trailer. “They got The Rock AND Kevin Hart? How did they do that? Not only are they the two funniest comedy stars to ever live, but they also notoriously feud on social media! How did they get these two titans of cinema to bury the hatchet and get into wacky hijinks side by side? I don’t believe it. I literally cannot believe it.”

Whitlock apparently had a further epiphany later in the trailer upon realizing that the film would acknowledge that Hart and Johnson are different sizes.

“It’s all so clear now,” Whitlock said. “Hart is small, but The Rock is big. You’d think this would never work, a futile effort only a fool would attempt. But to lean into it? Find humor in the two leading men being not the same size? This auteur angle would rattle even Kubrick himself. Jokes about Kevin Hart being The Rock’s son, a line about The Rock’s bicep being larger than Hart’s head, maybe a gag about their genitals being of differing width and length, these are merely a few of the infinite possibilities presented by this cinematic playground.”

At press time, Whitlock had reportedly been rushed to the ICU after going into shock from seeing the film’s poster where The Rock holds Kevin Hart in his arms like a baby.

JRPG Fan Tells Critic With Middling Review to Only Kill Himself a Little Bit

Posted on October 11, 2022 by Camden Brazile

DOVER, Ohio — Diehard fan of the recent Japanese roleplaying game Eternal Revivals: The Forsaken Sky Quests, Thomas Laurie, reportedly took to Twitter to tell critics with middling reviews to only kill themselves a little bit.

“This game is so much better than your shitty 6/10 review alleges,” began Laurie on Twitter. “You clearly just don’t understand the story or the combat complexity, so you should just quit playing games and just drink fucking bleach. Although you did acknowledge that the game has cute characters and a good artstyle, so just drink a small cup of bleach, I guess. I should murder you for not thinking this installment is the best in the series, but I agree the series is usually great as a whole, so maybe I’ll just lightly maim you.”

Laurie went on to decry the ethics and validity of parts of the review.

“I couldn’t believe how blatantly paid off you are when you criticized the game,” Laurie wrote on the IGN message board. “But when you wrote the game has redeeming characteristics, it was nice to finally see ethical games journalism. Although the section deducting points for long loading screens made me realize you’re incredibly biased and have an ax to grind with me personally, I felt your assertion that the game’s ending was satisfying was completely impartial and fair.”

At press time, sources reported that Laurie exercised further restraint by only posting the first half of the reviewer’s house coordinates online.

All New Skins in Overwatch 2 & How to Unlock Them

Posted on October 11, 2022 by Richard Tammaro

Overwatch’s Heroes have glowed up with the release of Overwatch 2, receiving new Overwatch 2 variants to their original skins. In addition to these skins, the introduction of an in-game shop and the Season One Battle Pass mean even more new skins have been added at launch with plenty more to come. Here are all the new skins available in Overwatch 2 and how to unlock them.

Overwatch 2’s New Mythic Skins Explained

Overwatch 2 introduces a new skin rarity, Mythic. At the launch of Season One only a single Mythic Hero Skin is available to unlock; however, more will be released in the future. This new rarity is the highest available and comes with something we haven’t seen in Overwatch previously, customization. While the Mythic Hero Skins will not be fully customizable, players will be able to edit various bits like the color pattern to make the skin uniquely theirs.

How to Unlock Hero Skins

With loot boxes being a thing of the past, Overwatch 2 has introduced a number of currencies that can be used to unlock all kinds of cosmetics, including Hero Skins. There are four of these currencies and they are: Overwatch Coins, Legacy Credits, Competitive Points, and Tokens.

Overwatch Coins are the new and primary currency of Overwatch 2. Overwatch Coins can be earned through completing Seasonal Challenges or purchased from the in-game shop with real money.

Legacy Credits are the new name for the original and only currency of the first Overwatch. Any Overwatch Coins you had prior to Overwatch 2’s launch have been converted into Legacy Credits. There is no way to earn or purchase more Legacy Credits.

Competitive Points are unlocked by completing Competitive matches. A win grants 15 points, a draw 5, and a loss 0. Additionally, these can be earned by completing the Competitive Challenges each season. There is no way to purchase this currency.

Tokens only exist to purchase Overwatch League skins. Tokens can be earned by watching Overwatch 2 League matches with a connected account on Twitch. Otherwise, they can be purchased from the in-game shop with real money.

Hero Skins can be purchased from the Hero Gallery or when in rotation in the in-game shop. They are available for any of the currencies above and at varying price ranges depending on rarity and ongoing sales.Additionally, some Hero Skins are exclusive to Skin Bundles, which can be purchased with real money, and as Seasonal Battle Pass rewards.