Tech Expert in Boomer Heist Team Just Guy Who Knows How to Use Gmail

WILMINGTON, Del. — Investigators have revealed that the multimillion-dollar robbery of Utmost Holdings CEO Adrian White hinged on a man known only as “Potsie,” who reportedly has deep tech expertise in Google’s email client, Gmail.

“I’ve stolen a lot in my 72 years, but I’ve never seen anything like the cyber-magic this guy pulled off on this one,” said heist crew leader Kenneth Bianchi, who claims not to know Potsie’s true identity. “That arrogant dumbass Adrian didn’t see it coming. Serves him right for not meeting my eye at the Rotary Club a few months back.”

According to Bianchi, he “had occasion to obtain” the password to White’s personal Gmail, and handed it off to Potsie, who used “high-level coding” to access the CEO’s bank accounts.

“I tried logging into Adrian’s bank account with the Gmail password, but it didn’t work. I figured that was the end of that. But then I heard about this guy who could work wonders with computers,” said Bianchi in his affidavit. “The guy did something complicated — I don’t know, I normally have my kids or grandkids take care of that kind of thing.”

Local police have struggled to figure out how Potsie pulled off the heist, but they’ve gathered a few clues that they hope to pass to federal agencies.

“From what we can tell, ‘Potsie’ figured out a way to reset the bank password using Gmail. That’s all we know — and honestly, it may be all we ever know,” explained detective James Rosen, 66, who took a computer science class in the 1990s. “One of the junior officers said Potsie might have used ‘filters’ to bypass the inbox, but that sounds like nonsense to me. I don’t see what water filters have to do with the Internet.”

An employee at Utmost Holdings confirmed that White’s Gmail inbox was full of password reset and transaction notifications, all marked as read — as well as hundreds of mailing list emails from the past two weeks alone, all unread. The employee also claimed the tragedy was preventable.

“Mr. White keeps his passwords on a Post-It on his desk. A strong breeze could steal them,” said Angela Strachan, 34, an analyst in the IT department. “If he’d let me set up two-factor authentication like I recommended, he’d be nine figures richer right now. Maybe he didn’t get my text — he’s never been much of a texter.”

Despite having regained exclusive access to his Gmail account, White has yet to respond to an emailed request for comment. His representatives claimed he no longer trusts email, and that’s why he’s insisting all his employees return to the office.

GTA Online 50 Car Garage Guide: How to Get a 50-Car Garage

The latest GTA Online weekly update is one of the best updates we have received in a while, and it has added the much-anticipated property, i.e., Eclipse Blvd 50 Car Garage. It is situated at a prime location in the game which makes it even more accessible and will let you keep your collection of luxury cars on five spacious floors. 

The description of Eclipse Blvd garage says, “Eating, sleeping, and washing? Oh please. Time to up your grindset. Forget about luxury apartments. All you need for a productive lifestyle is a 5-floor private garage with enough storage for up to fifty vehicles. #Simpleliving.” Here is how much 50 Car Garage costs in GTA Online, where it is located, and how you can get it.

How To Get GTA Online Eclipse Blvd 50 Car Garage: Price & Location

Where to buy the 50 car garage in GTA Online.

In order to buy Eclipse Blvd 50 Car Garage, you need to go to Dynasty 8 Real Estate website either from your phone or computers in your properties and businesses; however, make sure that you go to the non-sponsored Maze Bank website. You will then need to click on View Property Listings, and you will find the garage in the list with the Sale tag.

You can then customize it by choosing a suitable option out of Immaculate, Industrial, or Indulgent and not only this, but you also have 12 color schemes available, and the good thing is that they all cost the same. Once you have made all the customizations, you can complete the transaction online of GTA$2,740,000 to purchase it successfully.

Where & how to get the 50 car garage in GTA Online.GTA Online‘s 50 Car Garage is located in Eclipse Boulevard, Vinewood West, North Los Santos, and its exact location is marked on the map above. You can set a waypoint on its location in the game and follow the path to drive all of your cars to it. Enjoy living in style with your new garage!

Elon Musk Demands Twitter Engineers Fix Gaping Void Where His Soul Is Supposed to Be

SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk gathered the Twitter engineering team for a meeting yesterday to assign a nearly impossible task: filling the deep emptiness he feels at the core of his being.

“Look at all this money I have! Look at all the likes and retweets. My fans all think I’m really cool and smart. Why isn’t it enough? Why do I still feel this way?” asked Musk, citing a constant, gnawing hunger in his chest that only seems to get worse the more attention he gets. “It’s ridiculous. Solve the problem this week or you’re all fired.”

Despite making countless changes to the Twitter algorithm, including a tweak that boosts his posts across the site, Musk claims there must still be a fatal flaw somewhere in the software, causing him to get no lasting fulfillment from anything he does.

“If you conduct a simple review of my life, you’ll uncover multiple data points that prove I should feel happy and complete with what I have. Look at this graph,” Musk said, pointing to an upward arrow labeled ‘how great I am’ and beginning to raise his voice. “I’ve got a bunch of kids. I’ve got my health. I’m friends with lots of interesting people. I will never want for anything in life, ever, because of my obscene wealth. So, it makes zero logical sense that I would still, after all of that, be obsessed with what other people think of me. It’s fucking pathetic and it needs to stop. My life needs to mean something. This is now priority number one.”

Twitter staff complained privately that the task was simply not feasible with the current technology, especially given the recent layoffs.

“We’re stretched thin already, just trying to keep the site running. But honestly, I don’t think we could do what he’s asking even if we had a million geniuses with a million supercomputers. There’s something missing inside that guy. There’s an ineffable lack of human spirit that can’t be replaced with cars and rockets and Tweets. Everyone can see it. Everyone can hear the cold wind whipping through the center of him. And he knows it,” said an engineer who asked to remain anonymous in order to keep her job. “It would be sad to watch, if he wasn’t such a dick.”

At press time, Musk had reportedly fixed the problem himself by tweeting a meme.

Yoda Origin Comic Reveals He Had Even Shorter, More Enigmatic Master

NEW YORK — The latest issue of Marvel’s Star Wars: Yoda has expanded on the background of the titular Jedi, depicting his first encounter with the being who will become his master: a wrinkled, mole-like creature named Q’reg who stands only 7 inches tall and speaks entirely in unintelligible aphorisms.

“The goal with this series is to give fans that same feeling they had when they first met Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back,” said writer Calvin Stock. “That’s why we had to make Q’reg even smaller and more confusing than Yoda. Whereas Yoda says, ‘Do or do not. There is no try,’ Q’reg says, ‘Of no use is a coward’s bile to God.’ Yoda tries to steal Luke’s rations, while Q’reg sells loose cigarettes and runs small-time cons for bus fare.”

Fan reaction to the new character has been mixed.

“To me, Yoda’s master will always be N’Kata Del Gormo,” said Jordan Kenner, referring to a character from the now-defunct Legends continuity. “But I do like how Q’reg is 9000 years old. It’s like how Yoda was 900, except it’s an even bigger number.”

The series, which debuted in November 2022, presented several unique challenges for artist Nico Philips.

“When I got the script for this issue, it kept describing the scenery as though it were a swamp like Yoda’s original appearance,” said Philips. “Since the story takes place on the hyper-urban planet of Coruscant, I assumed it was a mistake. But no, they wanted me to put mangrove trees and lizards in an alley behind the Jedi Temple. I would get drafts sent back with notes like, ‘swampier,’ and, ‘more snakes.’ I think I’ve permanently altered the canonical ecology of the planet at this point just to make this story work.”

At press time, the writing team behind Star Wars: Yoda were reportedly in progress developing a story surrounding a baby version of Q’reg who is even cuter and more innocent than Baby Yoda.

“I Answer Questions for No Man,” Says Giancarlo Esposito in Tense ‘Celebrity Jeopardy!’ Appearance

LOS ANGELES —  A taping of Celebrity Jeopardy! reportedly went off the rails Thursday when guest contestant Giancarlo Esposito stalled the show with a chilling speech about power and control.

“I answer questions for no man,” Esposito began in a cold monotone. “Your little games and trivia bore me, and my patience for these droll anecdotes wanes with every passing round. You call this show ‘Jeopardy,’ yes? I believe this to be a misnomer. Despite what you may believe, I am in no danger. My life is at no risk. It is you who should be afraid. It is you who should be asking yourself questions, or rather answers. You think you have trapped me, like the hunter ensnares his defenseless prey. But if you dare to challenge my knowledge of Potpourri or Famous Bridges, you will see how a hungry dog can bite when he has nothing left to lose.” 

Celebrity Jeopardy! host Mayim Bialik said the ordeal was just as compelling as it was terrifying.

“Before the show, he was warm and inviting, smiling and speaking softly about how he was excited to play,” the Big Bang Theory actress said. “When we started putting money on the line, his brow furrowed and a grim frown creeped across his face, as he began calmly explaining to me why I shouldn’t dare deprive his charity of the million dollar prize. His unblinking, unflinching stare is burned into my brain, and even though his voice never raised above a low monotone, it froze me to my core. I couldn’t bare to continue on to Double Jeopardy, I sprinted home to check on my family and make sure he hadn’t already gotten to them.”

At press time, sources reported that after getting the show back on track, the game reached an unsettling yet thrilling climax when Esposito’s Final Jeopardy answer was revealed to be ‘Who will show you mercy?’ before the studio lights suddenly cut out.

Spiritfarer Is Animal Crossing For People Who Wish Their Villagers Would Die Sometimes

Listen, Animal Crossing is great and all but there comes a time — particularly with recent addition New Horizons — where you’ve heard everything your villagers have to say. They just walk around repeating dialogue and behaviours that you’ve seen before and it becomes clearer than ever to you that these funny little furballs aren’t your real friends, but actually just walking piles of code.

Enter 2020’s Spiritfarer. A similarly relaxing management game/life SIM with a focus on endings. You manage a boat, on which you ferry lost souls through to the afterlife — but not before getting to know them and catering to their every need so that they can pass on satisfied, and with closure. In every sense; musically, artistically and thematically, Spiritfarer is beautiful.

Image courtesy of: waytoomany.games

You live alongside these colourful characters in a similar way to the villagers in Animal Crossing. You build structures like gardens, farms and kitchens to appease them, you use those facilities alongside them and you chat to them at your leisure. But the difference is that every character here has a genuine narrative arc. A beginning, middle and end wherein you learn about their lives, watch them ruminate on them and come to some often heart-wrenching conclusions at their end as they finally pass over. Do you think Ricky The Squirrel would ever have the dignity to consider his own mortality or the meaning of life? No. He’s too busy hounding you for Monarch Butterflies every day.

Beyond its profound themes and character moments, Spiritfarer has some real meat on its bones too. Often these more artsy, narrative games lack in the gameplay department, but not so here. Spiritfarer is carefully adorned with numerous satisfying gameplay loops and free exploration out in the open sea which will lead you to gorgeous new settlements (that take clear inspiration from European, Japanese and American cultures) and even the occasional mine or mountain that constitutes a nifty little platforming challenge! There’s a lot more explicit fun to be had in this game’s world than its tender disposition may imply. Just jumping around, hovering all over your ship with your magical hat feels great!

Image courtesy of: imgbb.com

In this age of instant gratification, Twitter billionaires and Ubisoft games I — like most gamers, have become quite cynical. No piece of media in a long time has been able to make me particularly emotional, let alone shed a tear. Spiritfarer was the first thing in years to do that, to even begin to thaw my icy gamer heart. This game’s ending sequence presents an emotional crescendo so beautiful that it actively encouraged me to check up on my Mum right after the credits rolled, just to see how she was doing. 

I’ve got a lot of love for my man Tom Nook, but he could never.

I would recommend Spiritfarer to anyone who:

  • Likes games that end at the right time and don’t insist on themselves. (It’s about 16-20 hours.)
  • Craves more depth in their interactions in the likes of Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley.
  • Enjoys serene management games where you can take things at your own pace.

I would not recommend Spiritfarer to anyone who:

  • Fears death. Because damn, that shit be everywhere in this game,

Spiritfarer is available on Steam, Switch and last generation consoles (Xbox One/PS4)

Call of Duty MW2 Dual Kodachis Unlock Guide: How to Get Them

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 & Warzone 2 Season 2 has brought tons of new content into the game, including Ashika Island, Path of Ronin Challenges, DMZ updates, weapons, and much more. The three new weapons that have made a debut in Season 2 are the KV Broadside shotgun, ISO Hemlock assault rifle, and Dual Kodachis melee weapon. Among these, melee weapons are always more hyped and popular among players. Learn how you can unlock Dual Kodachis melee weapon in COD: Modern Warfare 2 and Warzone 2 with our Dual Kodachis Unlock Guide!

CoD MW2 & Warzone 2: How To Unlock Dual Kodachis Melee

Dual Kodachis are a powerful melee weapon that can move quickly toward enemies and has a long range of damage. They have the potential to kill the target in one strike; however, it comes at the cost of slower strafe and sprint speed. 

The good part is that you will be able to unlock them for free by navigating through the nodes of the battle pass and reaching B13. You can do it by playing Modern Warfare 2 & Warzone 2 and collecting tokens in the game, and in order to reach B13 quickly, you can go through B1, B2, B5, and B9. You can do all of these unlocks with just the free battle pass, too, so you don’t have to spend a dime to unlock this fan-favorite weapon.

The Dual Kodachis are deadly in situations where the opponent is not expecting you to hold a position. Or, if you are flanking, you can take the enemy by surprise. Dual Kodachis were added to the original Call of Duty: Modern Warfare in the Season 5 update, and if you are a fan of this weapon, you can now start grinding and slaying the opponents with it in MW2 and Warzone 2.

Looking for more Call of Duty guides? Check out our helpful MW2 longshot distance guide to help you grind out camo challenges!

Apex Legends Twitch Drops Guide: How to Claim Season 16 Drops

Apex Legends players have a lot to look forward to. Not only has the sixteenth season begun, but it’s also coinciding with the fourth anniversary. There may not be a new map or a new legend, but there is still a ton of new cosmetics and events to earn, including some via Twitch Drops.

Twitch drops have been enabled for the first few days of the new season and allow players to unlock exclusive items. If you’re curious whether they’re worth it, here are the Apex Legends Season 16 Twitch Drops that invested viewers can earn.

What are the Apex Legends Season 16 Twitch Drops?

How to claim the new Apex Legends Twitch Drops.

Every day from February 14th to February 17th, up to three rewards can be claimed for watching streamers play. While these rewards are mostly unique, the reward types and the intervals at which they’ll drop are the same.

  • Transitions  – After 1 hour of watch time
  • Unique Gun Charm – After 2 hours of watch time
  • Apex Pack – After 3 hours of watch time

Your eyes aren’t deceiving you if you think some of these look familiar, as the loading screen transitions are all community-made works that were previously available as Twitch Drops for season 10. For those that missed out, this is a great time to finally get them along with the new gun charms.

The time spent watching isn’t going to roll over into the next day, so you’ll have to remind yourself to head over to Twitch to watch some games. Each set of drops will be available starting from 8am PT one day and until 8am PT the following day.

How to Connect Apex Legends and Twitch Accounts

If you’ve never unlocked Twitch Drops before, you’ll likely need to connect your Twitch account to your EA account. You can still watch and claim drops, but the rewards won’t be usable in-game until your accounts are connected. Here are the steps to do so:

  1. Log into your Twitch account.
  2. Go to the EA Twitch Linking page and confirm your Twitch details.
  3. Log into your EA Account and accept the connection.

Follow these steps and the hard part is over. All that’s left is to sit back and watch your current or future favorite streamers play for a few hours each day. Just remember to claim them from the Twitch Drops Inventory page to make them usable the next time you log into Apex Legends.

Roguelike Player Begins New Arduous, Hour-Long Run of Game’s Wiki

ST. LOUIS — Upon returning to his favorite roguelike, Enter the Gungeon, local gamer Tyler Merck sat up in his chair before starting up another arduous, hour-long run of the game’s Wiki community.

“These games are so punishing, sometimes they send you all the way back to the front page of the fandom Wiki page,” Merck said. “Every time I fire up the game again I prepare myself for a long, difficult journey through the Wikipedia’s various subsections and tier lists. A lot of the time, I don’t even get past the first boss dropdown menu. That’s how tough these games can be.”

Enter the Gungeon streamer Ryan Cleghorn said that mastering the Wikipedia page is the best way to start playing the game.

“I’ve been livestreaming Gungeon every day for almost three years straight now, and I’m proud to say I’ve almost completed my first run of the game,” Cleghorn told reporters. “There are a lot of setbacks, every time I get a new item or gun, I check the in-game description and laugh at the silly one-liner or reference, and then it dawns on me that I have no actual information about the item or its mechanics. Each time I finish reading an article on the Wiki, I foolishly close the tab, thinking ‘well, that settles that’ even though I know I’m going to have to Google something again in the very next room when I see a minigame I don’t recognize.”

The Enter the Gungeon Wiki creator claimed that often the wiki mimics the gungeon itself.

“Players are forced to navigate a dense, sprawling maze with new information and pitfalls constantly being thrown at them, and then once they close the Wikipedia page the game is also pretty difficult,” said Wiki editor Felicia Regan. “As they progress, they’re constantly unlocking new areas and bosses to read detailed dossiers about, and after hours and hours of prep and practice, you start to click through the wiki with relaxed ease.”

At press time, sources reported that Merck had finally defeated the third chamber of the game, unlocking a brand new section of the Wikipedia page for him to religiously peruse.

This is sponsored by Devolver Digital! If you like video games — especially indie games — and ESPECIALLY roguelike games — and if you haven’t played Enter the Gungeon, then you’ve screwed up! But there’s still time to correct your error. Grab it on Steam and spend the next few hours in the Gungeon (and in the Wiki page for it).

Report: Grandma’s Amiibo Collection Worth a Ton

TINLEY PARK, Ill. — After agreeing to help clean out his grandma’s basement in exchange for 20 dollars and a free home cooked meal, gamer Austin Pottle stumbled upon a collection of rare amiibo figurines that were reportedly quite valuable.

“I’ve been collecting amiibos since the Wii U days, but I’ve never seen these before,” said Austin of the limited-edition figurines. “I looked ‘em up online, and guess what—they’re worth a ton! I tried scanning them into Smash Bros. first, but they weren’t compatible. Apparently they’re from some game called ‘Precious Moments’. I hadn’t heard of it before, but it seems like it’s pretty popular. I wonder how much a physical copy costs.”

Austin’s grandma, Beverly Pottle, was happy to see him get motivated about something for a change.

“I’m glad that Austin is so enthusiastic about cleaning out my rumpus room!” said Beverly. “He even offered to organize a garage sale next week, and said he would be in charge of sales and handling all the money! Normally he spends his time collecting a bunch of worthless pieces of plastic that end up sitting around and collecting dust. Could you imagine living like that?”

Austin’s cousin, Danny Lafeber, caught wind of Austin’s motives and quickly swooped in.

“Oh hell no. I’ve had my eye on those figurines for years. I think they’re Figmas — or possibly Nendoroids,” said Lafeber. “They’re from an old anime called ‘Precious Moments’ that you probably haven’t heard of, but I definitely have. I’ve seen all the episodes in the original Japanese. Still trying to track down the Blu-rays somewhere for my collection.”

At press time, the whole family had shown up at the garage sale to make a few bucks, which was the first time they had all been together in the same place in years.

Stay Updated on The Latest Punk News

Get the latest punk news delivered straight to your inbox

We'll store and process this information to provide you our products and services. You may opt out of this at any time.