General Motors Unveils Plans to be Doing “F-Zero Shit” by 2035
DETROIT — The head of General Motors unveiled a plan today to be doing “some serious F-Zero shit” by 2035. …
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Mark Roebuck — Page 36
711 stories found
Mario Eats Dead Rat to See If Anything Happens
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Mario has reportedly fallen ill after hypothesizing that eating a dead rat he found might somehow imbue…
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Today We’re Calling the PS3 “Retro” Just to Upset You
Howdy, gamers! There wasn’t a ton of news to riff on today, but we came up with a really exciting…
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This Gaming Chair Really Sucks, But We Make Ten Bucks If You Buy One
Hi, gamers! We wanted to take a break from ripping a blistering satire hole through every stupid thing that happens…
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Activision Announces Plans to Start Releasing Call of Duty Games Three at a Time
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Following the disappointing sales numbers of Call of Duty: Vanguard, Activision has announced a modified release…
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Dwayne Johnson Holds Press Conference Just to Say “What’s Up?” to Everybody in America
LOS ANGELES — Hollywood superstar and presumptive presidential candidate Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson held a press conference today, apparently to…
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PC Gamer Nostalgic for Era of Putting Entire Setup Into Car and Driving to Friend’s House
ST. LOUIS — A gamer recently waxed nostalgic about the bygone era of gaming that involved him unplugging all of…
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Obi-Wan Trailer Gives Fans First Breathtaking Shots of Luke as Annoying Kid
BURBANK, Calif. — Disney released a new trailer for their upcoming Obi-Wan Kenobi miniseries earlier today, and fans rejoiced as…
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FBI Swears They Have No Idea Who Deleted Tupac Hologram
WASHINGTON — The FBI continues to insist it has no idea who deleted the popular Tupac Shakur hologram that made…
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Guy Playing Chess Thrown Out of Checkers Tournament
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A crafty, forward thinking participant was tossed out of the local checkers tournament, when it was revealed…
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