After five long years in Early Access, Last Epoch has finally released its 1.0 version. However, all isn’t quite perfect with the game just yet, with some holdover bugs from pre-release still alive and well in the game. One of those involves a progress arresting bug where the player cannot speak to the Keeper Guard as required by The Keeper Vault quest. Find you why and how the Keeper Vault bug happens in Last Epoch with this guide.
Keeper Vault Bug Reason
Last Epoch Keeper Vault Bug
The reason the issue occurs is because Keeper Balthas, the old NPC that follows you for awhile, loses you at some point. This could occur if you choose to not continue on the quest’s beaten path by teleporting back to town, for example. When you return, Balthas will no longer be with you, and thus will not trigger an event to which the Keeper Guard can then respond.
The bug is easy enough to recover from: simply head back to the entrance of The Keeper Vault, and Keeper Balthas will be there to guide along again. If you still don’t see him, try traversing back and forth between The Fortress Walls and The Keeper Vault, to force him to spawn at the exit/entrance.
VANCOUVER – Local gamer Jason Chen is the ideal teammate, source say, in that he has no microphone but is always willing to jam in a series of letter close enough to “behind you” just fast enough for you to read them and be killed.
Chen reportedly works multiple food delivery gigs while living in his parents’ rent-controlled apartment complex and loves to wind down with a good night of competitive gaming, but can’t afford the luxuries of a microphone or headset.
“I don’t let those finer things hold me back. I’m going to play ranked CS2 and Valorant regardless. It’s important to break through these ridiculous barriers in the gaming community. No headset, no problem I always say,” Chen said confidently.
Chen claims he always lets his teammates know before the game has started that he has no mic but promises he will type out all his comms. However, many times the lobby strangely restarts and he has to find a new match. He believes it’s due to server and routing issues.
“I was leting u no an enmy was flnking as son as I saw it and cold wrte it,” Chen reportedly typed out in explanation to a teammate at 30 words per minute. This came after an instance where a teammate confronted him about why he just stood there and watched an enemy flank his entire team. They went on to lose that game but Chen claimed it was a skill diff rather than any sort of in-fighting.
Studies show that gamers with no microphones who type a lot tend to face unnecessary online harassment, from being called a scared squeaker to a broke boy, but that doesn’t stop Chen.
“He wrote ‘behind u’ once but didn’t say to who specifically and we all turned around and got aced,” says one disgruntled ex-teammate.
“Get a microphone. It’s 2024,” said another former teammate after they lost a 2v1 because Chen was busy typing “ply togter.”
As of press time, Chen actually recently stated that he does have a microphone but finds it uncomfortable and ruins his “flow.”
With the Apple Vision Pro comes new and innovative ways to die like a moron. This augmented reality headset not only makes you look stupid but it will make your death look stupid as well. As with any new technology, the Apple Vision Pro promises endless possibilities for your early demise. Like previous technological marvels such as the Tesla or the TikTok challenge, human advancement can only be measured in how dumb one can be as they shuffle off this mortal coil. After all, what’s the purpose of new technology if it doesn’t help the population problem sort itself out a bit? With that, I present to you the top ten ways to die while using the Apple Vision Pro.
Heart Attack
Not everyone using this device will be ready for it. Some elder millennials will think they can handle having a real minimap in their line of sight or even that it might be funny to watch Cats on a virtual movie theater screen in their living room. These people will be wrong and it will cost them their lives. The shock of this new and in-your-face way to see things you can look at on your phone will be too much for many people and their hearts will just give up. Living in the future just isn’t meant for everybody. It’s less flashy than most Apple Vision Pro deaths but at least they’ll have some dignity.
Run Over While Crossing the Street
This will happen in two separate waves. The first wave will be Apple Vision Pro users who are using it safely, not obstructing their view of the real world and looking both ways. Unfortunately, these people will be run over by Teslas that are on autopilot because the driver is also using the Apple Vision Pro. The second wave will be Apple Vision Pro users who are typing up work emails on the go or watching Bring It On while they get their steps in and will simply walk into oncoming traffic.
Fiery Car Crash
This will mostly happen to Tesla and Cybertruck drivers so no harm done.
Beaten to Death
Many Apple Vision Pro users will take it with them on public transportation. These people will be so engrossed in what they’re doing that they’ll miss their stop and end up on the bad side of town. Some will just walk to the bad side of town by accident. Once they’re on that side they are no longer a person, they are a walking victim with an expensive item strapped to their face. They will be promptly beaten to death as their Vision Pro is stolen and stripped for parts.
Falling Down an Elevator Shaft
Many Apple Vision Pro users will think that if they just use it within the confines of an indoor area they will be safe. Not so. For you see many of them will be wandering through the halls of their apartment buildings oblivious to the open elevator shafts. They may avoid it for a time, just barely turning around before they fall into the abyss but sooner or later they will step through the doors and comically plummet to their deaths while they try to get one last email sent as they fall.
Hit by a Train
A lot of Apple Vision Pro users don’t even live near train tracks but when you’re enthralled in the augmented reality thrill of doing Excel spreadsheets on the go it’s hard to notice how far you’ve walked. Inevitably they’ll make it to a train track. They’ll be so locked into the Vision Pro that they won’t hear the train coming. The desperate train engineer’s horn will go unnoticed, the breaks won’t be fast enough, and then splat.
Kidnapped and Killed When No One Pays the Ransom
The Apple Vision Pro is an expensive piece of equipment and that means wearing it in public is going to attract some unsavory fellows. After all, wearing it is like a bright neon sign that screams you have too much disposable income. Some poor sap is going to be filling out their TPS reports and wander into the wrong alleyway. They’ll be kidnapped and held for ransom under the assumption that someone with this piece of tech must also have rich friends and family. Unfortunately, the ransom will not be paid as the friends and family of Apple Vision Pro users will be so engrossed in their own augmented reality that they won’t even notice the disappearance so the kidnappers will have no choice but to kill them.
Walking Into The Middle of a Police Shootout
Let this be a lesson. Don’t watch Heat on the Apple Vision Pro because you’ll wander into a real police shootout and won’t notice. At least you’ll die watching Heat so it’s not all bad.
Falling in the Lion Den at the Zoo
Using the Apple Vision Pro at the zoo might seem like a good idea at first. You get to see the animals and have their stats and bio projected into your view. But that will only lead to accidentally falling into the lion den while looking for the Dippin’ Dots stand. The lions will maul you to death and no one will help because why would they, it’s your fault and the lion is cute.
Wandering Onto a Construction Site and Falling Off the Building
The apex of Apple Vision Pro usage. So completely oblivious to real-life surroundings that the user will wander onto a construction site. They’ll narrowly avoid death at every turn as they blindly climb the scaffolding of the in-progress building. Arms flailing about as they type messages and swipe left and right on Tinder. It will be mesmerizing to watch all the ways that the user just barely avoids a horrific death. The construction workers will take bets on what will strike the fatal blow. Onlookers will watch from a safe distance, cheering and booing as the user continues to miraculously survive. Popcorn vendors will make the biggest payday of their lives. Then the user will reach the top and walk off. The crowd disperses, the construction workers go back to work, the Vision Pro is stolen from the corpse and stripped for parts, those parts are sold on the black market, the market seller ships them to China with a fake business name, in China the parts are sent back to Apple factory for the children to make more Vision Pros. It’s the circle of life.
HOLLYWOOD – Following a string of delays and reshoots, the first trailer for the upcoming Borderlands film finally premiered this week at what Lionsgate executives assume is the height of the game’s goodwill and popularity, sources report.
“In this business, it’s important not to miss your window,” said Colleen Acaster, an executive producer on the film who is just getting around to trying Turtle Rock Studios’ asymmetrical multiplayer title Evolve. “Hollywood moves fast, but the gaming industry moves even faster. Look at The Last of Us on HBO. That’s a brilliant show that captured both fans of the game and newcomers alike. When did it release? Just a year after the second remake of the first game, and a year before the first remake of the second game. So, there was still all this hype. People were still talking. Laura Bailey was still in hiding. Now imagine if the show aired, say, five years from now. Sure, Laura would still be getting death threats, but no one else would be that invested. It’s so important to be on the pulse with these things.”
“There’s never been a better time to release a Borderlands movie,” continued Acaster. “Not two presidencies ago when we began development. Not three years ago when we wrapped filming. And certainly not when Borderlands 2 dropped in 2012 and there were so many people quoting Handsome Jack at you that the end of the world on December 21st would have been a mercy. No, the August 9th release date is the perfect culmination of a very normal, very sane ten-year production timeline.”
While initially skeptical, longtime fans of the Gearbox looter shooter series had to admit the movie adaptation had a lot going for it.
“At first, I expected it to be terrible,” said Hodge Jennings, a Borderlands fan who reportedly picked up the first game all the way back in the year of our Lord 2009. “But as soon as I got to reading about the different writers and cast members involved, my face just lit up. I mean, who better to write and direct a slapstick action-comedy with a strong female lead than splatter film auteur and practicing misogynist Eli Roth, a man so slimy you could find him by poking a stick into the deepest part of a pond in summer?”
“Cate Blanchett might be a little old for Lilith,” admitted Jennings. “But Kevin Hart? Now there’s an actor who gives 100% to every role he books. God, it’s exciting to have a cast that cares so deeply about the source material. I just hope the compulsory Handsome Jack mid-credits scene lives up to the hype.”
Gearbox Studios reportedly expressed hope that modern audiences would connect with the timeless humor seen in the original Borderlands and its sequels.
“You know most writers, they do jokes like ‘Setup, Setup, Punchline!” said a Gearbox representative. “Well, heh, the Borderlands games throw that formula out the gosh-damn window. How would I describe our humor? Oh, it’s a little something like ‘Punchline! Punchline! Joke a sixth-grader would make! Punchline! Wry observation! Butt Stallion! Punchline! Claptrap says the saddest thing you’ve ever heard. Dry remark! Butt Stallion! The word ‘midget’ 69 times! Punchline! Line punch! An honest-to-god Rick and Morty reference! Punchline!’”
“Get the picture?” continued the representative. “You know how most characters in a movie would walk coolly away from an explosion? Well, our character would do that, but then trip a little and almost fall on their face, before recovering like ‘Well, that just happened.’ Then they would turn around and their ass would be on fire. Sorry, I’m cracking up just thinking about it. So random, lol. The point is, this is the kind of irreverent, self-referential humor gamers and audiences deeply appreciate right now, today, in the year 2024. Like my partner, they yearn for characters who smirk at danger and absolutely never, ever shut the hell up.”
Following overall lukewarm response to the Borderlands trailer, Lionsgate announced at press time they had greenlit movie adaptations of indie hits Palworld and Lethal Company, two games with a long and sturdy shelf-life which fans can look forward to seeing when the films hit theaters in 2034.
Helldivers 2 has been plagued by bugs, crashes, and freezes since its release, but the developers have toiled tirelessly to address them one by one. The latest Helldivers 2 patch 1.000.11 for Feb 22 has just been released to the public and addresses a number of critical issues such as failing to join squadmates’ ships and the “Defrosting Helldiver” freeze.
Perhaps the most interesting fix has been one that prevents players from hogging a server slot even when they aren’t actively playing. The newly introduced feature will kick players back to the title screen after 15 minutes of idling.
Even so, there are a number of as yet unaddressed issues that have also been listed below and await patching. Check out the rest of our guides for potential fixes on some of them, if you continue to be denied your right to deliver democracy.
Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today Feb 22.
We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned, then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.
Used as an adjective to indicate having great weight; difficult to lift, move, or carry due to mass or density.
Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter
The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“Y”
Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter
The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“V”
Wordle Hint Today Third Letter
The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“A”
Wordle Hint Today Second Letter
The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“E”
Wordle Hint Today First Letter
The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“H”
Today’s Wordle Answer
And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.
Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.
That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 664 days straight! So here goes nothing:
To be equal or corresponding to something else in quality, quantity, or significance.
Wordle #975 For February 19, 2024
“PRICE“
The amount of money or value that must be paid or exchanged to acquire goods or services.
Wordle #974 For February 18, 2024
“RIDGE“
A long, narrow, elevated area of land that forms a crest or a continuous line along the top of a mountain, or hill.
Wordle #973 For February 17, 2024
“PSALM“
A sacred song or hymn, typically from a specific titular Biblical book, which is a collection of religious poems and prayers found in the Old Testament of the Bible.
Wordle #972 For February 16, 2024
“STASH“
As a noun: a secret or hidden supply of something, typically valuable or desirable items.
As a verb: to hide or store something away, often for future use or for safekeeping.
Wordle #971 For February 15, 2024
“ASCOT“
A type of necktie or cravat that is typically worn with formal attire. It consists of a narrow strip of fabric that is folded over and tied in a manner similar to a scarf, with the ends tucked into the collar of a shirt.
Wordle #970 For February 14, 2024
“TALON“
A sharp, hooked claw of a bird of prey or a predatory animal, particularly one used for seizing and grasping prey.
Wordle #969 For February 13, 2024
“SCRAM“
An informal or colloquial verb that means to leave or go away quickly, often in a hurried or abrupt manner.
Wordle #968 For February 12, 2024
“PASTA“
A type of Italian food made from a dough typically consisting of wheat flour, water, and sometimes eggs, which is formed into various shapes and then cooked by boiling or baking.
Wordle #967 For February 11, 2024
“NEVER“
An adverb that indicates the absence of something happening or occurring at any time in the past, present, or future.
Wordle #966 For February 10, 2024
“FRIED“
An adjective that describes food that has been cooked in oil or fat until it becomes crispy and golden brown on the outside.
Wordle #965 For February 9, 2024
“STIFF“
An adjective that means inflexible, or not easily bent.
Wordle #964 For February 8, 2024
“PLACE“
A specific point or area in space, indicating where something is situated or located.
Wordle #963 For February 7, 2024
“AFTER“
A preposition that denotes the period following a certain moment or event.
Wordle #962 For February 6, 2024
“WHICH“
A pronoun, as well as an interrogative word that is used to introduce a clause that provides additional information about a noun.
Wordle #961 For February 5, 2024
“REPEL“
A verb that means to push away or drive back forcefully, or to cause strong dislike or aversion.
Wordle #960 For February 4, 2024
“VERGE“
A point at which something is about to happen or undergo a change.
Wordle #959 For February 3, 2024
“MICRO“
A prefix meaning small used in scientific, technical, and everyday language to denote something tiny in size or on a miniature scale.
Wordle #958 For February 2, 2024
“CLEFT“
An adjective that describes something that is split or divided, often into two parts.
Wordle #957 For February 1, 2024
“ALIVE“
An adjective that is characterized by the presence of vital signs, such as respiration, heartbeat, and consciousness.
Wordle #956 For January 31, 2024
“BULKY“
An adjective used to describe something that is large, heavy, and takes up a lot of space.
TOKYO – Japanese immigration officials are reportedly struggling to keep up with unending waves of Mother 3 fans landing on their coastline in improvised ships and flotation devices, following a disastrous Nintendo Partner Direct announcement the game would only be available on Nintendo Switch Online in Japan.
“We can take no more Mother 3 fans,” said Haruto Abiko, head of Japan’s immigration office. “You can visit our country for some short period with the proper paperwork, figure out how to download the game, but then you must return home to what I assume is a very shameful lifestyle.”
Official numbers are in dispute, but some estimates are that as many as 200,000 Mother 3 fans have already landed on the coastline as well by commercial airline.
“I am fleeing the political persecution of my people,” one Mother 3 fan said while sneaking out of a plane’s cargo hull. “If I can’t play this game I might as well be dead. So if you turn me away my blood is on your hands.”
The situation has reportedly caused international concern, with the UN calling a special meeting to decide on next steps.
“The millions of people displaced by this Nintendo Partner Direct has the ability to destabilize the region,” said António Guterres, Secretary-General of the United Nations. “I am calling on all leaders to take in some of these poor souls. We took a few and they aren’t that bad – a little awkward sure, can’t really make eye contact – but ultimately fine. Good at computers too.”
While several political leaders in Japan have applauded the Mother 3 fans and their “right to game,” some far right organizations announced a protest against government plans to provide each gamer migrant with a Nintendo Switch charging cable and $10 E-shop gift card.
Gamers worldwide are buzzing with excitement and readying their most resilient thumbstick covers after watching the gameplay trailer for Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree. But me, I’m not so sure, as I must unfortunately question the veracity of this supposed official “gameplay” video because at no point did I ever see myself shooting bosses at range from as far away as possible.
My character, Flippin Gizzards, is of the Astrologer class. You think I want to get up close and personal with my 73 Intelligence and 15 Strength? No way. But all I see in the trailer is swordplay and kicking, not me giving the Draconic Tree Sentinel as wide of a berth as possible while I circle safely on my Spectral Steed and shoot him with Loretta’s Greatbow.
Hell, the only time I saw anyone use a ranged weapon in the trailer, they were less than ten feet away from their enemy. I’m out here raining half-court shots like Damian Lillard in the NBA All-Star Game. At a minimum, I’m distracting Godrick with Spirit Ashes while I spam Rock Sling from the logo. It’s Dame Time in Limgrave.
My son loved the trailer, but that’s because he sits there dual-wielding Brick Hammers. Just roll and attack, roll and attack, he tells me. Sure, I’ll stand there underneath a boss’s balls while I wave my hands around like an idiot. Remember what Pumola did to Ricardo Morra in Bloodsport?
Dragons? Loretta’s Greatbow, run away, Loretta’s Greatbow, run away. Hell, I’ll cheese someone by sneaking up behind them and hitting them with Poison Mist over and over if I have to. But if I go by the trailer, it’s a good idea to run right next to a gigantic, flaming, wicker boss? Not for me, thank you.
So for now, until I see representation of who I am as an Elden Ring player, I will remain skeptical that the DLC trailer was actually real.
Hollow Knight fans who watched today’s Nintendo Partner Direct were treated to a special 5-minute segment dedicated to them. They watched with bated breath hoping that something on the showcase would have a segment that mentioned Silksong and Nintendo gave them exactly that as a special segment was dedicated to laughing at them for expecting any actual announcement.
The segment was kicked off with Doug Bowser who said, “We know Hollow Knight fans are watching right now asking themselves ‘Where Silksong’ and we’re very excited for the next five minutes to be made just for you.”
Bowser was then joined by other Nintendo executives and Xbox’s Phil Spencer as they pointed at the camera and laughed hysterically for five minutes straight. At the halfway mark, a message appeared on screen inviting viewers to join in and laugh with them at anyone they know who was expecting Silksong news.
After the event Bowser explained the inclusion of the segment.,
“We know that Hollow Knight fans were looking forward to this Direct as they do all Directs, hoping that Silksong will get a release date. I knew we couldn’t just not bring it up because that wouldn’t be fair to everyone who tuned in with the deluded idea it would be there so we decided to have some fun,” he said. “I hope they don’t take it too hard, I mean it could always be worse, they could be Metroid Prime fans.”
Phil Spencer said he was happy to make the cameo.
“At Xbox, we gave Hollow Knight fans hope that Silksong would come out within a year all the far back in June 2022 so it only felt right that I join in laughing at them. I’m really grateful for the invite,” he said.
At press time, Hollow Knight fans are certain Silksong will be at the next Direct.
SAN BERNARDINO — A PS5 nearing the end of its life cycle recently underwent an extensive skin procedure in order to convince itself that the brutal march of time is nothing to be scared of, sources confirmed.
With the PlayStation 5 being less than four years old, some say the existential crisis is a bit premature. But with recent comments from the console’s creators at Sony saying it will die off soon, sources confirm there has never been a more worrying time to be PS5.
“I think it looks cool,” stated the PS5 unconvincingly. “It was extremely costly and took me around 10 hours to put on, but It was worth every penny. Sure, I run a lot hotter now, but honestly, who cares? Global warming is gonna wipe us all out in a few years anyway – and I’ll be gone before that – so I say let’s have fun with it!”
Along with the new skin, the PS5 has also switched things up in its games library, ditching hectic shooters like Call of Duty and Fortnite and instead spending far more time with games like EA Sports PGA Tour and the recently-released Bee Keeper Simulator.
“When you really think about it, I’m still pretty young. I mean hell, people still play the Nintendo Wii U right?” it said. “Every day I’m still plugged in is a blessing.”
Craig McDaniel, owner of the Game House, a local retro game and computer repair shop, said he wasn’t surprised to hear of the PS5 making dramatic changes ahead of its demise.
“I once saw a Nintendo Wii change its controller skin three or four times on the way to the garage,” McDaniel said. “It was sad really. Really just fighting the inevitable.”
At press time, the PS5’s new decals could already be seen peeling off.
