“One Last Reveal,” Utters Geoff Keighley Before Peeling Back Face to Reveal Circuitry Underneath

INGLEWOOD, Calif. — Geoff Keighley revealed his robot face while hosting the Summer Game Fest as one last reveal for the event, according to those in attendance.

“Oh… and one last reveal,” Keighley said, using his non-microphone hand to peel back the skin on his face and reveal that he has, for years, been a robot. “That’s right, folks. You know we love exclusive first looks here at the Summer Game Fest, so here’s an exclusive look at the biology of my strange robotic body. This entire time, I’ve been more machine than man — powered by artificial intelligence. I do not eat, sleep, or poop, and I feed only on exciting news about upcoming video games. Thank you all for tuning in, and have a great rest of the year!”

Those in attendance found the announcement confusing and strange.

“At first I was like, holy shit, he’s a robot. But then after the initial excitement died down, I was a little underwhelmed,” said games journalist Giuseppe Colacicco. “He didn’t really say it in an exciting way or anything, it was just the same cadence as any other announcement. Not to mention, there was no fanfare. No celebrities, no rock bands, no trailers, nothing. It was just like, hey, by the way, I’ve been a robot this whole time. OK? Where’s Silksong, Geoff?”

“I guess it was better than the finale of the last Game Awards,” said YouTuber Alma Vincent. “The big reveal of that show was the launch of like some weird kid? And now he does TikToks and viral pranks or something like that. I dunno, I get that people like ARG shit, but I wish they’d go back to ending these things with actual video game reveals. Is Geoff even gonna be controllable? Or is he just a robot?”

At press time, Keighley explained that although his main function is to serve humanity by revealing trailers and release dates for upcoming games, he was originally created by a man he refers to as The Tinkerer, but who is known to the world as Hideo Kojima.

Twitch Sends Enforcer to Streamer’s House to Make Sure It Get Its Cut of Papa Johns Ad

SAN FRANCISCO — Gaming company Twitch reportedly sent an enforcer known only as “Donnie” to a local streamer’s home today to collect the company’s cut of a Papa Johns ad on the streamer’s VOD, according to terrified sources.

“You gotta Papa Johns ad that’s more than 3% of the screen on your livestream? And it was a burned-in animated gif?! Then yea, Twitch is gonna wanna collect on its share! Where’s the fuckin Papa Johns money, you dumb pile-a fuck?!” Donnie said, swinging a baseball bat into the streamer’s $4,500 gaming rig. “I’m gonna come back here tomorrow and if 50% of that greasy pizza motherfucker’s money isn’t in my hand, you’re gonna be in a world of hurt. Fuck you!”

Twitch streamers are reportedly terrified of the new policy, which has many of them fearing for their physical safety.

“It feels like Twitch isn’t OK with the idea of people making money without them getting a cut. It’s freaking bogus!” said one streamer who wished to remain anonymous, but we’re like pretty sure was xQc. “I’m fearing for my safety, man. I’m not a big guy! I can hit ’em with the juicer, but that’s all I got!”

Despite fears, Twitch has insisted that the policy needs to stay in place in order for streamers’ protection.

“We protect our streamers, so long as they kick back a little bit of money to the company. That’s what they’re paying for,” explained Twitch CEO Dan Clancy. “If these people were off on their own, who knows what kind of trouble they’d get into? Gambling debt, racial slur scandals, sexting with underage fans… OK, yeah, to be fair, they all still do that. But they still need to pay up.”

At press time, the company clarified that if it didn’t have a streamer’s address, it was fine with just sending hordes of virtual haters to their livestreams.

Street Fighter 6 Avatar Recipe Guide: Best Recipe Codes in SF6

Want to know everything about the Street Fighter 6 avatar recipe system? Street Fighter 6 features a new character creator mode that allows players to customize their own avatars and use them in the World Tour mode and Battle Hub areas. 

The character creator mode offers a lot of options to change the appearance, clothing, accessories, and fighting style of the avatars. However, some players may want to replicate the look of their favorite characters from other media, such as video games, anime, comics, etc. This is where the SF6 avatar recipes come in handy.

Street Fighter 6 Recipe Codes Explained

Recipe codes are codes that are created and can be used to replicate a certain avatar look in Street Fighter 6. They consist of numbers and letters corresponding to different settings and options in the character creator mode. 

For example, a recipe code for Kratos from God of War is RBADUHXPC. By entering this code into the game, you can create an avatar that looks like Kratos.

Recipe codes are generated by the game when you create or edit your avatar. You can also download or upload recipe codes from other players online. This way, you can share your creations with others or try out different looks for your avatar.

How To Use Avatar Recipes in SF6

To use a recipe code, you need to go to the Body Shop in the Battle Hub room. The Body Shop is a stand that is located just to the right of the Extreme Battle arcade cabinets. Here, you can create or edit your avatar using various options and settings.

To enter a recipe code, you need to select the Download Recipe option in the Recipe tab. This is the last tab on the right side of the screen. You will then be prompted to enter a code consisting of numbers and letters. 

If you enter a valid code, you will see a preview of the avatar that corresponds to the code. You can then apply it to your avatar or make further changes if you want.

You can also find your own recipe code for your current avatar by selecting the View Recipe option in the same tab. You can then save it or upload it for others to use.

Street Fighter 6 Popular Recipe Codes

Kratos, one of the most popular avatar recipes in Street Fighter 6.

Here are some of the most popular recipe codes for Street Fighter 6 that you can try out:

  • Kratos from God of War (RBADUHXPC)
  • Terminator from Terminator (9BXGTLVH9)
  • Harley Quinn from DC Comics (SREG88L5F)
  • Mr. Satan from Dragon Ball Z (DVDCYTD5N)
  • Black Widow from Marvel Comics (XEV8R349F)
  • Trunks from Dragon Ball Z (LW6H4X9KY)
  • Lara Croft from Tomb Raider (EUA7CATB9)
  • Saitama from One Punch Man (E87GAVNKW)
  • Ganondorf from The Legend of Zelda (NLD3L8XMP or 4AXB78LXQ)
  • 2D from Gorillaz (L3HEMVUQN)
  • Genos from One Punch Man (QKVN3NEF4)

There are many sources where you can find avatar recipes for Street Fighter 6. One of the most popular ones is Reddit, where there is a dedicated subreddit for sharing and requesting recipe codes. The subreddit is called /r/SF6Avatars, and it has thousands of posts with different recipe codes for various characters.

Those are some of the best Street Fighter 6 avatar recipe codes! Use these and check around the internet to put some of your favorite characters in the game, thanks to its robust customization. While you’re here, check out our tier list of the best characters!

Street Fighter 6 Tier List: The Best Characters in SF6 Ranked

Street Fighter 6 has finally been released, and our tier list with the 18 fighters at launch for players to choose from can help narrow down your pick. Each of these unique characters has its own playstyle and combos to master, so many are curious about which ones they should focus on first.

Whether you prefer to go straight for the offensive or outsmart your opponents with clever movements, these are how the fighters in Street Fighter 6 rank against each other at launch.

Street Fighter 6 Character Tier List

There are 18 total fighters at launch, with four more planned as DLC in the next year. This tier list approaches the fighters as to how easy they will be to play as in your first time in the game. None of the fighters really deserve lower than Tier D in my opinion, as I found most of them fairly easy once you learn some basic tricks and moves.

Tier D

These fighters represent those that aren’t the most impressive to play for beginners, but that doesn’t mean more seasoned players might not fight something to love. These fighters include:

  • Blanka
  • Juri
  • Jamie

While Blanka is a great character and his personality is really fun, his combat is the only one that’s not a martial art and it was really hard for me to figure out in both the World Tour and online matches I played. Similarly, Juri leads mostly with her feet in combat if that wasn’t blatantly obvious, and I found that to be a little disorienting. 

Jamie is pretty quick, but his basic moves feel underpowered compared to those in a similar class like Juri.

Tier C

Guile, one of the C tier fighters on our Street Fighter 6 tier list.

These fighters were easy to pick up after a couple of matches, but I largely found them to pale in comparison to some of the stronger or more agile fighters. These fighters include:

  • Guile 
  • E. Honda
  • Luke

Luke is a great intro character, serving as the first fighting style in World Tour, but he’s meant to be a basic introduction to the game and that’s apparent. If you’re new to fighting games, Luke is pretty easy to learn, but eventually, you’ll want to move on. Guile is a little bit better, having a similar fighting style, but he at least has the benefit of wind projectiles.

E. Honda is great when you learn to use him as a projectile and inter-mingle the sumo grabs, but that was challenging. 

Tier B: Street Fighter 6 Tier List

These fighters represent the average on this scale, with most players having a decent chance of picking up these fighters’ most basic combos. These fighters include:

  • Cammy
  • Dee Jay
  • Ryu
  • Dhalsim

I have been beaten by way too many Cammys in a leotard to put her any lower on the list, but I also largely had mixed results, succeeding when I nailed the timing for her drill attack. Dee Jay is similar because he’s a movement master when played by someone with enough skill.

Ryu is a classic character, but he’s pretty standard while still being easier and more fun to play than Luke. Dhalsim has probably the coolest abilities in the game, providing a surprising amount of range, but I often found enemies able to block projectiles and long-distance attacks due to their lack of range. 

Tier A

If you’re looking for a pretty powerful fighter to pick up at launch, these are some really good choices, providing unique playstyles that each feel pretty powerful. These fighters are:

  • Marisa
  • Lily
  • Chun-Li
  • Kimberly
  • Manon

Marisa is a powerhouse and the character I’ve gotten the furthest with in Ranked mode because I found her punches to be devastating. She also has multiple abilities that work as a guard or parry, providing me plenty of opportunities to deflect and then return an opponent’s offensive.

Kimberly and Manon are both in this tier because their movement is so fun to play. I found some really fun opportunities to use it against opponents, whether that be Manon’s graceful jumps or Kimberly’s teleport ability.

Lily isn’t given a lot of credit due to her size as the smallest character in the game, but that also means she has a smaller hitbox. Her wind abilities also work well to keep enemies afloat for air combos. Chun-Li is a classic and delivers powerful moves that she’s been doing for years.

Tier S: The Best SF6 Characters

The best fighters in our Street Fighter 6 tier list.

The following are the best and easiest fighters for new characters to try, allowing for powerful moves and abilities that will help even new players feel like they have a chance. These include:

  • Zangief
  • JP
  • Ken

Zangief is a wrestler and his style is very much reminiscent of that, which means a lot of grappling and high-flying moves, most of which are pretty easy to learn. Similar to JP, who practices a special martial art using his cane. In addition to his Psycho Power ranged attacks, I found him to be more than capable to take on the competition. 

Ken is currently one of the highest-rated fighters in Street Fighter 6 and players have already been winning with him alongside Zangief in tournaments. 

That does it for our Street Fighter 6 tier list! Check out our other guides on how to wall jump and how to use classic controls in World Tour!

Apple Responds to Backlash, Lowers Vision Pro Price to $3,400

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Following the swift public mockery regarding the cost of their spatial computing goggles introduced earlier this week, Apple announced today that they’re gonna be able to knock a hundred bucks off that price for you.

“Okay, they don’t always let us do this,” began a video address from Apple CEO Tim Cook released earlier today. “But I talked to some of the fellas in the back, and they said since you guys have always been cool, they’re gonna let me go ahead and go down to 34 hundred, just this once. I can’t believe it, honestly. What a great deal.” 

The Vision Pro was unveiled earlier this week, a mixed-reality headset that releases early next year and boasts a price tag much higher than a lot of early estimates were anticipating. 

“I think we were all ready for it to be a thousand or two,” said John Durand, a disappointed Apple fan that watched today’s surprise showcase. “But when they said they’re ‘starting’ at $3500, I just realized I’ll never ever have one of those. It actually made it kind of nice, as opposed to wondering if I should buy the cool looking thousand dollar rig that’s coming out, you know? I like reading emails the size of my living room as much as the next guy, but I think I might wait until the price comes down to less than what I make in a month. That hundred they knocked off is pretty tempting, though.” 

As of press time, Cook had sweetened the deal further, and announced that all purchases of Vision Pro headsets will include a few extra Apple stickers.

Records Reveal Mario Changed Name From “Jumpman” at Ellis Island

NEW YORK — Recently uncovered documents from the Ellis Island National Museum of Immigration archive confirmed the long-running rumor that Nintendo mascot Mario changed his name from Jumpman after immigrating to the United States in the 1940s.

“Some dubious records have made their way through the university research circuit for decades,” said Anthony Martin, a professor of history at Columbia University who specializes in Mushroom Kingdom genealogy. “I thought it was all a hoax. Everyone knows that he was credited as ‘Jumpman’ in his first on-screen appearance in Donkey Kong, but this is the first solid evidence we have that it was his real name at one point.”

Mario’s co-star in that first appearance, whose real name is Cranky Kong, says that the “Jumpman” credit was actually a production error.

“He was pissed about that. He told them to credit him as ‘Mario Mario.’ Wanted everyone to think he was Italian for some reason,” said Kong, who claimed that the confusion regarding his own name was caused by an unrelated translation error. “A bunch of the early gaming icons were doing the same thing. Pitfall Harry’s birth name was actually Grubenfall Heinrich, but he came over right after the war. He couldn’t have anyone looking into who was funding all those archeological expeditions, could he?”

A source close to Mario’s family, who asked to be identified only as D, said that some of his relatives were still resentful over the change.

“I know Luigi still holds a grudge over it,” said D, who gave a short interview between tennis sets. “I mean, imagine your brother tells you that your last name is now his first name. It doesn’t even make sense! But Luigi knows whose star he hitched his wagon to. There’s nothing he can really do about it.”

At press time, Mario released a statement denying that he was attempting to obscure his heritage, and that he simply thought “Jumpman” would be difficult for Americans to pronounce.

5 Best Laptops to Use in Bed That Let Off the Same Amount of Heat a Partner Would

Big bed but nobody to sleep with? In the market for a new personal laptop? Here are the best laptops to buy to both entertain you and soothe your lonely heart at night the way a living, breathing person would — if you had one who loved you.

Macbook Pro

Are you all about aesthetics? Then this computer is for you, because the slim design means these things get terrible ventilation on a mattress. Once you’re laying down next to it, it’ll be hot in no time. Sure, your ex was easy on the eyes, but with this laptop’s Retina display you’ll forget all about her. Eventually. Get one with a touch bar if you’re feeling especially starved for contact.

Protip: Try to run an MMO on this thing if you really wanna turn up the heat.

Dell Inspiron

If you’re into 3D animation or design, this isn’t the computer for you. But, if you want to try it on this device anyway, you’ll have a very hot bedmate in a Dell. Missing that thing your partner used to do with your balls? This PC will put its whole Dell-ussy into heating up your genitals way past a safe temperature. Plus, it’ll be so hot doing it. Good enough, right?

Acer Aspire

Are you someone who likes to sleep with the fan on? Look no further than an Acer! You’ll be able to hear this bad boy’s fans going into overdrive almost right away after start up. But don’t worry, they won’t be cooling your PC down much. It’s more of a formality — kind of like your latest breakup. Since you think labels are stupid, you and that guy were never technically “together” meaning this wasn’t even really a “breakup” at all. So whatever. You don’t even care. You’re crying for other reasons. Try an Acer.

HP Chromebook

Feeling especially disconnected? Try an HP Chromebook! Leave this thing plugged in and watch as it heats up to incredible temperatures, all day and night, unlike your ex who was turned off by your need to fall asleep to the voices of disgruntled YouTubers. Yep, this machine accommodates and supports your totally healthy and reasonable sleep routine. It even burns your leg to wake you up if you doze off, so you never miss the end of the video!

Lenovo Thinkpad

Missing that ex that had no chill? Try out a Lenovo. The poor cooling design in this device will have you humming Nelly’s “Hot in Here” to yourself at 3 a.m. without a living soul in your home to hear it. Once you download Google Chrome on this computer and accept a few cookies this baby will be hot, hot, HOT! Keep it to 4GB of RAM and no solid state to make sure this computer is always running behind and fuming — just like that lawyer you used to date. But hey, at least this computer won’t decide she’s had enough of you and stay with her sister.

So, there you have it: 5 laptops that’ll keep you warm at night. It’s a tough call, but it’s yours alone to make. Don’t sweat it too hard, though — all of them have access to porn.

New Yorkers: This Is Your Opportunity to Experience a Real-Life Poison Level

If you are a gamer in New York City, this is your best chance in a lifetime to experience a real life video game level. A series of wildfires in Canada (Quebec, of course) created the thick field of smog you are currently choking through, and most people are having a horrible time outside. For us gamers, though? This is a dream come true, as the worst levels from our favorite pastime come to life.

As you can tell from this unnervingly prescient Diablo IV advertisement, New York is currently a hellscape and a poison level wrapped in one.

Diablo IV ad in New York City
More like Hell, welcome to New York

Right now, New York follows poison area logic: you can only stay in the fog for a couple seconds before you start slowly taking damage. The Call of Duty Warzone circle is finally real, and you can live out your video game fantasy IRL by purchasing an overpriced N95 mask then hiding in the corner of a building for a full hour. 

Are you a FromSoft fanboy? Break out the watering hose to make a little poison swamp of your own to roll around in. Do you love Silent Hill? Wait until night time and smoke a bowl of salvia, and I promise you that psychosomatic monsters based on your deepest traumas will start crawling out the fog in minutes. 

For absolute losers, you can imagine the weather in New York is identical to the sky in Shadow the Hedgehog when Black Doom invades.

Screenshot of the second-worst Sonic game or real photo of NYC?

Last but not least, you can complete your gaming experience by googling how to deal with the smog online, only for someone on the forums to call you a slur for not buying antidotes and poison resistant equipment several months earlier.

Even if you stay inside, this gruesome weather is a great opportunity to better empathize with our player characters as we also slowly choke to death. Personally, I cannot wait until our world becomes more and more cartoonishly hellish so I can experience my favorite video games like Fallout or Doom in person.

Everything to Know About New Twitter CEO Linda Yaccarino

In the wake of his resignation as CEO of Twitter, Elon Musk has named his successor, NBCUniveral Head of Advertising Linda Yaccarino. Here are the essential facts to know about the new leader of the online social media platform.

What Will She Do First to Improve Twitter?

Replace Elon Musk

How Will This Change the Future of Twitter?

This time, the mismanagement and ego-driven decisions will be done by a woman

What Is Her Favorite of the Hotel Transylvania Movies?

Hotel Transylvania 2

Why Is Elon Stepping Down?

Musk is trolling the woke liberal elite by being pressured to resign from a job he was bad at

What Will Her Salary Be?

3 horses a day

How Much Can She Bench?

Two Plates for Reps

How Did She Land the Job?

Yaccarino proved with her tenure at NBC that she can handle being in charge of a tanking media platform

Here’s All The Titles Leaving Plex This Month Because My Hard Drive Is Full

Alright, freeloaders. You knew this was coming. Someone borrowed my external 2TB, and PhotoShop just stopped me from using the magic fucking wand because the scratch post was full or whatever. So we’re offloading dead weight. Here’s all the titles leaving Plex this month for various reasons, but mostly because my hard drive is about to bust.

The Wire

My friend Stephen finished The Sopranos and told me everyone said he needed to watch this right after. He said he can’t figure out Pirate Bay, so I threw him a bone. This mother fucker has been sitting untouched for months. 25 fucking GBs and its collecting dust. In the trash it goes. Stephen, if you’re reading this, tough toenails. Go buy a boxset or something.

Kite (2014)

Super middle of the road action movie with Sam Jackson and this teen killing smugglers, it’s like more boring, less pedophilic Leon: The Professional. I guess that’s the bargain. I heard this was based on an anime or something, I have that on my Plex too. Maybe I’ll check it out while I’m clearing space.

Kite (1998)

Okay, nevermind. That was way fucking worse than Leon. Don’t ask.

McCabe & Mrs. Miller

I thought this was supposed to be about cowboys, but this is just sad? And loud? Everyone’s talking over each other all the time. Nobody even shoots anyone, I turned it off after like 30 minutes. I think maybe I got tricked into one of those art films.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Went out of my way to wrangle this for my nieces and their mother has the gaul to tell me they were “upset” by it? What’s so upsetting about Dennis Hopper? This movie’s a classic! Last time I do anything nice for children.

Pulp Fiction

I found the DVD in my basement, no need for it on the server anymore. If you want this, just come over and borrow it. Or maybe actually hang out with me instead of leeching off my media library and offering nothing in return. Bring something to the table for once in your life.

Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles

Is this some new Rick Roll? Like is this how people are Rick Rolling each other now.

Star.Wars.NEW.EPISODE.10_1080p.UNCUT.REY.NUDE.mkv

File name was misleading and not as advertised. I’m hoping that removing it will do something about the Trojan on my computer and the threatening emails will stop.

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