REDMOND, Wash. – Microsoft Gaming has announced that its forthcoming, yet to-be-named next-generation Xbox console will be able to play DVDs, befuddled sources report.
“This has been in development for a long time, and we’re excited to finally make the reveal,” CEO Phil Spencer told reporters. “While we can’t provide all the details on the new system at this time, we can confirm that it will come equipped with full DVD functionality. That’s right. Gamers will not have to bother with toggling between playing their favorite Xbox titles and their favorite movies, as the system will be able to do both. I invite our customers to stay tuned for more updates on what’s to come, as it’s features like these that will ensure our new console stands above the competition in delivering the best interactive experience in the world.”
Gamer Ian Donegal was confused by the news.
“Does anybody even watch DVDs anymore?” Donegal questioned. “Also, most consoles have been capable of playing them for like two decades at this point, and I’m guessing the vast majority of gamers don’t use that functionality, and if they do, they’re probably playing Blu-Rays. I’m starting to think this Phil Spencer guy may not have the best ideas if this is what he’s expecting us to get excited about. How about announcing something that consumers would like to see from Xbox, like an exclusive title that would stir up some excitement for them to buy over one of the competitors?”
Gaming expert Maya Flores weighed in on the situation.
“I know Xbox hasn’t always made the best decisions, but this one is particularly mystifying,” Flores offered. “Especially after all the layoffs that Xbox incurred just this past summer, I would’ve expected a much more impressive announcement, like a groundbreaking virtual reality add-on or a particularly big game not available anywhere else. Never in a million years would I have predicted a feature that gamers have long since already had access to and forgotten about, but hey, I’ve been wrong before.”
At press time, Spencer had also revealed that the upcoming system would have wireless controllers.
