Sea of Stars is a Worthy Successor to Classic Turn-Based RPGs

New, good turn-based RPGs are in short supply in the modern gaming landscape. Some like Dragon Quest still carry the torch for AAA studios, but even the behemoth Final Fantasy has moved to a more action-oriented format, for better and for worse. On the bright side, though, there’s plenty of indies who have begun to carry the torch of the genre. I’m happy to say that Sea of Stars from Sabotage Studio stands among the titans of the genre.

Releasing on pretty much every major platform on August 29, Sea of Stars has been described as an homage to many SNES RPGs, including Chrono Trigger, Super Mario RPG, and Illusion of Gaia. Through both its gameplay and its presentation, the inspiration from these games is very evident, though this game makes the most of modern hardware with a few set pieces that are spectacles to behold. 

Gorgeous backgrounds combine with pixel art that, in this reviewer’s opinion, looks far better than Square Enix’s HD-2D style. The animations on each character have loads of personality. Just look at some of these animations for Seraï, one of the playable characters. Seeing her jump in and out of her portals never really got old throughout my entire playthrough.

On that same note, the sound design is top notch. Of course, a soundtrack featuring Yasunori Mitsuda of Chrono Trigger & Xenoblade fame was going to have plenty of bangers (a select few of which you can listen to now). Plenty of songs on the soundtrack will have you humming along as you play. Most themes also have multiple variations depending on the time of day, with some more relaxed versions of themes playing at night.

In addition to the music, sound effects in the game are fantastic. Nearly every action you do in the game has some sort of auditory feedback, making every action satisfying to pull off. Hearing the sound of Garl bash something with his shield is particularly satisfying, especially when a perfectly timed hit leads to an additional one.

Yep, that’s right: Paper Mario-esque timing bonuses are one of the main attractions in the combat system of Sea of Stars. Despite this similarity, where the combat truly sings is where it goes down a different path than its inspirations. So many small annoyances that I have had with this genre I love are dealt with in interesting ways. 

Are you commonly an item hoarder, holding onto your healing items just in case it’s more useful later? Sea of Stars caps your healing item capacity at 10 dishes of food, which are easily replaceable and scale quickly. Use it now and cook something to replace it at the next save point. Saving your MP to cast your powerful spells at the next boss fight? You generate MP with every connected standard attack: cast away! Random encounters, too, are traded for more scripted combat scenarios. If you’ve been annoyed by something in RPG combat, there’s a really good chance that this game does something to improve on it.

One shortcoming of the combat system is how the game handles equipment and level-ups. Every character has three accessory slots, a weapon, and armor to choose from. While accessories add interesting buffs that can make your character stronger, especially in the endgame, weapons and armor all end up feeling like “the same thing, but stronger.”

Leveling up has a similar issue. Each time you level up, you get to select a bonus stat to level up further, in addition to the standard stat increases. The bonus stat, though, is from a selection of four seemingly random stats. Because of this, it’s hard to invest in one or two stats to try and make a character a specialist in anything, which led to most characters’ only discerning elements being the skills at their disposal, instead of their stats behind the skills. Each one still felt fun to use; I just wish I could’ve taken it a step further.

What truly makes an RPG great, though, is a great story. Luckily, Sea of Stars delivers on this– mostly. The setup of the game’s world is immediately engrossing: Solstice Warriors are born on the winter or summer solstice, blessed by gods granting them the ability to use Lunar or Solar magic. These warriors train through childhood and are then tasked with taking down evil forces throughout the world.

The story itself was well-paced, and I never felt a mid-game slump that seems commonplace in RPGs. There’s always a looming threat, object to get, or friend to save that was always compelling or interesting enough to drive me forward. The colorful cast of characters is a big factor in this drive to keep going.

The game is filled with interesting side characters and party members to learn about. The biggest standout of the cast by far is Garl, who is an overwhelmingly positive force, a force that reminded me of Waymond Wang in 2022’s Everything Everywhere All at Once. I found myself constantly smiling as Garl would have encouraging words for his friends, or would talk his way out of (or into) loads of situations the party found themselves in.

On the other hand, two characters who fell unfortunately short for me were our two main heroes: Zale and Valere. As the two gain new powers and the story progresses, it feels like they never truly grow into their own distinct people. They’re heroes through and through, and rarely show many flaws that they need to confront. There were a lot of interesting questions to be asked about what it means to be a Solstice Warrior, but these two seem to just accept this duty as their life and move on. Perhaps this is due to them being interchangeable as playable characters, but when they’re surrounded by such a lovable and distinct cast, the two main characters falling a bit flat stands out as a sticking point.

The ending, too, left a bit to be desired. While the final boss fight is one that’s tough and satisfying, the story that follows seems like it leaves quite a few questions unanswered. Perhaps this is intentional to set up for a sequel; perhaps it links to the studio’s other game The Messenger, which I regretfully have not played. As it stands though, the ending just feels like there was more to be said.

Despite some small story & gameplay gripes, Sea of Stars is still an excellent journey worth taking for turn-based RPG fans, even in an incredibly stacked year. The overall story is great with loads of memorable side characters. The gameplay and combat are up there with the greats of the genre. Combine that with some top-notch presentation, and you’ve got a game that is absolutely worth your time. It plays great on a handheld like the Switch or Steam Deck, but it’s also launching on Xbox & PC Game Pass and PlayStation Plus Extra. If you’re even somewhat interested in the turn-based RPG genre, it’s absolutely worth your time before the upcoming torrent of September releases.

Steam code for review was provided by Sabotage Studios via Tinsley PR. Playtime was split between Steam Deck and desktop; it ran well and looked great on both!

Every Tears of the Kingdom Armor Set Ranked by If You Could Wear It to a Wedding

If you’ve been playing Tears of the Kingdom for 300 hours and lost all your friends and family as a result, you may be wondering: could I wear any of the armor sets to a wedding that I just got disinvited from? We have exactly the same question, and even threw in a few of the single clothing pieces for you to choose from as well. Here’s every piece of armor in Tears of the Kingdom ranked by wedding attire appropriateness.

#37 — Mystic Set

Absolutely not. The number 1 rule of wedding attire is NO WHITE. This will get you shanked by the maid of honor.

#36 — Ancient Hero’s Aspect

Jesus fucking jumpscare. Leave your expensive and creepy fursuit at home! (Unless it’s a furry wedding, in which case, it may be appropriate, but ask to make sure).

#35 — Frostbite Set

While the internet is obsessed with this set because it’s bizarrely slutty, I’m going to say it’s a bad idea to wear a goddamn tiara and a backless dress to someone else’s wedding.

#34 — Phantom Set

Nope. Too GWAR. Looks like a cosplay made out of foam. Now, I’m sure there’s an instance in which someone is having a GWAR wedding, but I honestly think this would get super hot while you’re dancing anyway.

#33 — Radiant Set

Another hard no, this one is gimp suit-adjacent. However, if you run in much cooler and/or cringe circles than me, maybe this is the dress code for a sex dungeon wedding ordeal.

#32 — Rubber Set

Pass, unless the couple in question is really into both latex and fishing. This also just looks like a sensory nightmare for me in terms of comfort and being able to like, eat food.

#31 — Evil Spirit Set

No again. While the cape has a certain “magician convention” allure, I feel like the full-face bone mask is a touch too much, even for a very spooky affair. You might get some mileage out of this look for a black metal album cover, though.

#30 — Tingle Set

You know those videos on YouTube where sex educators try really hard not to get demonetized, so they like, put on a hoodie really tight around their head and try to make it look vaguely representative of a vulva? Their face is the clit. If you wear this, you’re going to a wedding as a clit analog in essentially a morph suit.

#29 — Awakening Set

Unfortunately, this set has a kind of dead-eyed Funko Pop energy that I just can’t really get behind for a festive occasion. You’ll also probably have a hell of a time seeing literally anything with that giant head on.

#28 — Armor of the Depths Set

Gonna be a no. Very ancient monk, which isn’t inherently bad, but not really in style in 2023. Also, the hood could be read…poorly. 

#27 — Barbarian Set

Pros: looks sick as shit, goths might like the bone stuff. Cons: the aforementioned bone stuff. And if you’re anywhere that has even a few months of cold weather, this is extremely seasonally restricted.

#26 — Froggy Set

Unless the wedding is literally underwater, don’t bother with this one. Who knows, though, the hottest destination wedding of 2024 could be at the bottom of the fucking ocean.

#25 — Yiga Set

The weirder cousin of the extremely dope Stealth Set that sadly doesn’t fit the bill. It’s kind of giving discount ninja. Like your mom took you to Party City and told you to make a mask for Halloween, but she just bought a plain white one and you had to do all the heavy lifting yourself.

#24 — Zonaite Set

There’s a little too much going on in this set to justify it, and uh, not much of a shirt to speak of. Most venues probably have a no shirt/no shoes/no service policy anyway.

#23 — Zora Set

Eh, not awful without the hat, but the whole thing leans too fishy to be worth the risk of ruining your friendships.

#22 — Dark Set

Number 1 choice for a Halloween wedding. Weird for anything else. But I cannot stress how sick this would be at a midnight ceremony. 

#21 — Miner Set

There is exactly one situation win which you can wear this to a wedding: it’s located in the forests of Canada right the fuck now and you need the gas mask thing to breathe.

#20 — Armor of the Wild

Quite peasant-y and rather casual for my taste, to the point where you’ll look a little like a Medieval Times extra who got lost. But it could be worse.

#19 — Flamebreaker Set

While no one would be mad at you for wearing something wildly inappropriate, you’re certainly not going to be comfortable, and you’ll make a lot of weird clanging noises while trying to do the Cha-Cha Slide.

#18 — Fierce Deity Set

Honestly, this isn’t a terrible choice. A little freaky with the blank eyes, sure, but the tunic and leggings combo could work for a more informal setting. And the makeup gets points for creativity!

Aging Venom Only Vulnerable to Mid-Range Frequencies

NEW YORK — Local villain-turned-antihero Venom noticed today that his weakness to loud noises has been significantly reduced as the symbiote has grown older, sources close to the situation confirm.

“It’s a bit bittersweet,” said Venom’s offspring, Carnage. “On the one hand, I’m glad to know that he’s starting to rot. The fact that he is one step closer to death — potentially a brutal and violent one by my hands — brings me immense joy. Simultaneously, it means that the grim specter of doom looms a bit larger over me, as well. Ah, well. I’ll just have to try and kill as much as I can before my own time comes.”

Spider-man, Venom’s former host and current rival, said he could relate to the creature’s struggle with getting older.

“Heh, I guess even alien parasites can’t win against Father Time,” said the hero. “Back in high sch— I mean, when I first met Venom, I had that high-pitched buzzing that old people couldn’t hear as my ringtone. Even that used to bring him to his knees. These days, the only thing that works is cranking up the volume on one of those old Bose stereos.”

The local scientific community has been abuzz with the implications of this development.

“It’s one of those things that shocks you, even though it makes complete sense,” said Dr. Curtis Connors, who runs a lab at Empire State University. “A natural, biological deficiency being turned to your advantage? It almost makes you want to reformulate all your limb generation serums to enhance the reptile-related side effects rather than diminish them. Who knows what sorts of powers one might gain?”

When reached for comment, Venom replied, “What?”

Overwhelmed Shelter Labels Raichu as “Senior Pikachu” to Increase Odds of Adoption

SLATEPORT CITY — A local Pokémon shelter has listed a Raichu as a “Senior Pikachu” in the hope that it might entice a trainer to adopt it, sources at the shelter have confirmed.

“All of our cages are full, and no one comes in looking for a boring old Raichu,” said Amy Roberts, the shelter’s director. “We’ve tried everything to entice someone to adopt him. We dressed him in a Focus Sash for pictures. We used a TM to teach him Hyper Beam. We even trained him to stand on his tail so he’d look like an Alolan Raichu. No one wanted him.”

Alex Gardner, a trainer who had recently visited the shelter, said that the new label hadn’t affected their decision about adopting the Pokémon.

“It’s a pretty transparent gimmick,” said Gardner, who was scrolling through their PC boxes and releasing Pokémon with suboptimal Natures. “I saw the listing online and was hoping I could get a good deal on a Pikachu. No matter its age, it could still learn Discharge or Thunderbolt. I’ve got a couple Light Balls lying around, so I could have made a Pikachu viable. Raichu is just straight garbage.”

Despite the opaque marketing, another trainer said that she was interested in adopting the Pokémon in question.

“I only adopt elder Pokémon,” said Daphne Conrad, who was wearing a misshapen beanie that she had crocheted herself. “They just have so much personality, you know? A lot of wisdom to share. All I want is to give them a good home for however long they have left. I spend a lot of time at home, so I can give them the attention and care they need. I would love to get to know this Raichu.”

At press time, Conrad had been notified that her adoption application had been denied. The shelter declined to provide further comment.

What Are They Saying? Reactions to Dune 2’s Delayed Release

Warner Bros. announced that Dune 2’s release date will be pushed back from November 3, 2023, to March 15, 2024, blaming the delay on the ongoing writer’s and actor’s guild strikes. What are movie fans saying? 

Ronald Gross, Bartender

“Oh cool, this will give me even longer to pretend I will read the book.”

Dominic Clark, Electrician

“Looks like we’ll have roll that Pedal Bar I rented somewhere else on November 3rd.”

Wade Anthony, Unemployed

“They’re probably trying to come up with a snappier title than Dune 2. I bet that’s what’s going on.”

Todd Luna, Engineer

“Hey, do you think they’ll put a blooper reel at the end of it? I’d love that.”

Ghislaine Maxwell, convicted sex offender and socialite

“I am in federal prison for the sexual trafficking of minors, so I will not be seeing Dune 2.”

Emma Green, Stylist

“Dune. Hmm. Was that the one about the Oppenheimer guy?”

Denis Villeneuve, Director – Dune

“Man, I really gotta get started on this movie, huh?”

Harmony Carver, Child

“Will I be able to follow Dune 2 it if it’s the first movie I’ve ever seen?”

Candice Hodge, Postal Worker

“Let me guess, they’re making it more woke? Typical Hollywood.”

Bill Ward, Homeowner

“Why have you broken into my house to ask me about a movie’s release date?”

Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader

“I think… its…uh…”

David Zaslav, CEO of Max

Look at Zaslov, killin’ it as usual!

Armored Core 6 Best Build Guide: Best Early Game AC6 Builds

Looking for the best build in Armored Core 6 early game? Armored Core 6 is a smashing return to explosive big mech action, and brings with it a vast array of parts to mix and match into your dream giant robot build. The early game can be pretty rough though, as you’re still unlocking or discovering various parts, while taking on punishing odds and tough bosses. This Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon guide will share an ideal build to power through the initial chapter, as well as farm enough COAM to buy the shop out as new parts unlock.

Armored Core 6 Early Game Build Guide: HEAD

HD-011 MELANDER or HD-012 MELANDER C3

The choice of Heads here is based entirely on whether or not you have the pre-order bonus set. If you don’t, then the standard HD-011 MELANDER will more than suffice, and can be purchased in the shop for 75,000 COAM.

CORE

BD-011 MELANDER or DF-BD-08 TIAN-QIANG

Your primary goal with this build is to endure incoming damage while outputting far, far more on your targets, and both of these early Core unlocks will allow you to do so. Purchase from the shop for 195K or 390K COAM respectively.

Best AC6 Early Game Build – R-BACK UNIT and L-BACK UNIT

Vvc-70VPM Plasma Missile Launcher

Fires five rounds per hardpoint that cause lingering plasma explosions on impact. Additionally, the missile swarms are multi-lock and indirect fire i.e. they launch vertically and can circumvent the target’s ability to evade hits from behind cover. This also effectively allows your own mech to take shots from the safety of hard cover as well. Purchase in the shop for 96,000 COAM.

ARMS

DF-AR-08 TIAN-QIANG or AR-012 MELANDER C3

A distinction based entirely on ownership of the bonus Melander C3 set. Both offer a good balance between AP and Firearm Specialization, which is what matters for Arms for this particular build. The DF-AR-08 Tian-Qiang can be purchased for 200K COAM at the shop.

R-ARM UNIT and L-ARM UNIT

Vvc-760PR Plasma Rifle

This directed energy weapon does damage via a large plasma explosion that creates a lingering area-of-effect energy bubble around the target. Purchase in the shop for 202,000 COAM.

Armored Core 6 Best Build Early Game: LEGS

LG-011 MELANDER or DF-LG-08 TIAN-QIANG

Bearing the combined weight of all that armor and weaponry, both of these pairs of Legs will also work well with the selected Booster to provide high mobility. Purchase at the shop for 175K or 350K COAM respectively.

FCS

FCS-G2/P05

The massive medium-range assist stat in tracking targets makes for a good pairing with this weapon loadout. Any FCS with good medium-range tracking will suffice, but this one can be bought for 67K COAM.

BOOSTER

ALULA/21E

This booster has a high QB Thrust allowing you to close the gap quickly on enemies and maintain them at a nice medium range for your homing missiles. Unlock this by completing the training mission Intermediate Support 1: Assembling an AC

GENERATOR

DF-GN-02 LING-TAI

A far better prospect than your starting Generator, the Ling-Tai will power your arsenal for a good while, until you can upgrade to better prospects such as the VP-20D or Ming-Tang. While the dash does not last as long, it does recharge fairly quickly. Purchase in the shop for 90,000 COAM.

This early AC6 build will mitigate player issues such as failing to damage targets due to ballistic weapons being just outside of maximum range, and suffering instant death to overpowered bosses. Be sure to make use of boost and dash to stay on the move, or even better, cheese enemies from the safety of hard cover using the homing plasma missiles and their area-of-effect damage orbs.

20 Features ‘Starfield’ Better Have or Else I Won’t Buy It Until It’s Been Out for a Week or Two

While a day one Starfield purchase once felt like a no brainer, the amount great games to come out this year has given Bethesda’s latest game a little more to prove, in my opinion. Here are 20 things the new sci-fi RPG absolutely must deliver if they think I’m gonna get it on day one and not wait until I get sick of everyone else talking about it!

Incredible title menu screen

If that thing doesn’t knock me on my ass, I’m out. Straight up.

Kill anything you see

If I can’t completely annihilate every citizen, android, or spaceship I come across, then this game simply isn’t finished.

Marry anything you see

If I can’t romance and spend the rest of my life with every citizen, android, or spaceship I come across, then this game simply isn’t finished.

Fully customizable characters

It’s 2023, and nothing short of the most in-depth character creators are acceptable. If I’m not able to tell it what my character’s favorite podcast is, then the game simply isn’t finished.

200 frames per second

Ooh, I just made this up, but that would rule, right? We’ve been stuck at 60 for so long it feels like. Let’s go already!

1,000+ hours of gameplay

If I even so much as think about a different video game before 2024 hits, then this game simply isn’t finished.

John Cena, The Rock, or Bautista

If I visit hundreds of planets and none of my guys are on there, what the hell is the point of any of this?

Morality system

There should be a series of choices throughout the game where you can even do the honorable thing or not, and then that determines what kind of cowboy you’re being.

Fishing

Absolutely no wiggle room on this one, I’m afraid.

Leatherface

We’ve been playing that new Texas Chainsaw Massacre game and decided it would be so cool to put Leatherface in there. Come on, there has to be one planet where he makes sense, right? Just do it.

Some ‘Star Wars’ stuff

I don’t mean to keep harping on this kind of thing, but 1,000 planets? Come on. Throw some Ewoks in there somewhere.

Information about ‘Elder Scrolls VI’

To be honest, the most intriguing part of this game to me is the chance that we’ll get some cryptic nod to the follow-up to Skyrim. That would be enough to keep me going for another year or two. Elder Scrolls VI is coming, you guys. You’ll see.

V-Buck integration

I’ve got way too many V-Bucks and I’m not really into Fortnite anymore. You should let me spend it in Starfield!

1,000 more planets

I’ve been sitting on that information that Starfield will have 1,000 planets for so long, I’m kind of over it. They should do more now that I think about it.

Battle Royale mode

I know they’re a little out of style these days, but come on, it would be fun!

Fully customizable anuses

We’ve breached the genital wall, it’s now time to visit what may be the final frontier in next generation gaming.

Find my neighborhood in New York City

Spider-Man spoiled me. If I can’t find my apartment building in your game, I’m really pretty underwhelmed with the whole thing these days.

Nothing too scary 

If I wanted to have nightmare, I’d play Dead Space or something. Let’s all be cool here, Starfield. 

Mars

Mars is a planet that I know and love from the hit film The Martian starring Matt Damon. It’s one of the only places I know in space and I will be devastated if it is not one of the several planets featured in Starfield.

Haven’t thought of it yet

I haven’t thought of this one yet, but I am positive that there will be many more things that I will absolutely need in the game or else I’ll refuse to play it. And they better have those things, or else I WALK. I know I’m not saying what they are, but it’s Bethesda’s job to know before I do and add them to the game. Sorry!

Armored Core 6 Pre-Order Bonus Guide: How to Get Melander Set

Did you pre-order one of the editions of Armored Core 6: Fires of Rubicon but can’t seem to figure out how to unlock your pre-order bonus? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. This AC6 guide will walk you through the parts you get and how to access them in-game.

How To Unlock Armored Core 6 Pre-Order Bonus Set

Begin by confirming that you have the actual DLC files on your particular platform of choice. Navigate to the game library, select the game, then add-ons/DLC for the game and make sure that the relevant files show as being downloaded locally. The DLC is titled MELANDER C3 G13 Special Customization “TENDERFOOT”.

Next, head in-game, and complete the very first mission in the first chapter, and defeat your first boss. After that, you can access the AC Garage, and then navigate to the AC Design section. Here, under the Assembly menu, you should be able to find each of the four parts under their relevant tab in the Frame sub-section, allowing you to customize your Armored Core loadout to your heart’s content with your new Armored Core 6 pre-order bonus content.

What Are The Parts In The AC6 Melander Set?

There are just four parts to be gained from the pre-order bonus set, all for the frame:

  • Head: HD-012 Melander C3
  • Core: BD-012 Melander C3
  • Arms: AR-012 Melander C3
  • Legs: LG-012 Melander C3

They offer a fair improvement over the default Frame parts that you begin the game with. Additionally, there is an emblem and a decal in the Melander set which can be found in the Decals menu under AC Design.

And that is everything you need to know about claiming your Armored Core 6 pre-order bonuses. Check out our coverage of another great game that was released this August: Madden NFL 24.

The 40 Most Shocking Moments in Gaming History

For as long as there have been video games, there have been video game controversies. Today we’ll look back at 40 of the most shocking moments in video game history, dating back nearly 50 years! 

 

‘Pong’ sweeps the nation (1975)

The home version of the influential game became a must have item that most people loved, with the exception of a handful of gamers that criticized its frame rate.

‘E.T.’ Atari game crashes and burns (1982)

Not only was this game’s negative reception infamous, with lasting ramifications to the video game industry, but less reported on is the damage the debacle did to E.T.’s career. His planned sitcom was retooled and given to an unknown up-and-comer we all now know as ALF.

Dig Dug outrages parents (1982)

Years before Doom or Grand Theft Auto, groups of parents all over the country banded together to blame this arcade classic for the series of underground tunnels they’d been discovering in their backyards and gardens. Moles and gophers were largely found to be responsible, but the game never escaped its tarnished reputation. 

‘Ms. Pac-Man’ Revealed (1982)

A lot of gamers were furious at the inclusion of a playable female protagonist, and I wish I could tell you a lot of them have calmed down since then. 

Toad busts your balls (1985)

While it may seem a bit primitive by today’s standards, Super Mario Bros. displayed a wonderful cast of characters in addition to groundbreaking gameplay. Gaming’s ultimate shit-stirrer, Toad, makes his debut here, completely breaking your balls about which castle the princess isn’t in, when you get the feeling he could just tell you any old time. Players had never seen anything like it.  

Samus reveals that she’s hot (1986)

Upon beating the original Metroid, players were amazed to discover they’d been playing as a total babe the whole time!

Nintendo employee begins leaking latest rumors and projects to his grade school nephew (1987)

The leak, long thought to be fraudulent, has been blamed by Nintendo for over 1 billion dollars in lost revenue over the years.

Super Mario Bros. 2 lets you fight and defeat God (1988)

The shocking tonal departure from the beloved original was blamed on the fact that the game was actually a reskinned version of a Japanese game called Doki Doki God Slayer.

Power Glove recalled (1990)

Decades before the Wii, Nintendo introduced this wildly popular motion controlled peripheral that let players control games with the movements of their hand. Sadly, a swift backlash ensued once parents discovered that most games used the jerking off motion as a way to pause the action. 

John Madden quits coaching to start making video games (1991)

He somehow still found the time to announce football games, but come on, he was never going to make all three work once he got into programming. 

Mortal Kombat introduces fatalities (1992)

“It came to me one night at a bar when I saw a man pull another guy’s spine out of his body,” said co-creator Ed Boon. 

Nintendo admits to animal testing while developing ‘Star Fox’ (1993)

“We learned a lot of things that definitely helped push gaming forward,” said director Katsuya Eguchi. “But we killed way too many foxes along the way. It’s just inexcusable.”

‘Doom’ inspires waves of copycat chainsaw violence (1993)

The cafeterias and playgrounds of 1993 were an absolute bloodbath thanks to the inclusion of a chainsaw in the wildly popular and influential game.

Sonic announces first pregnancy hiatus (1994)

Following Sonic & Knuckles, Sonic announced that he was taking time off to have his first child. While shocking at the time, Sonic has gone on to successfully parent dozens of children while remaining a popular figure in gaming.

‘Boogerman’ squanders momentum (1994)

Everyone loved Boogerman, and he was poised to be one of the greats alongside Mario and Sonic, until players got to the end of the game and heard his bizarre and controversial political rant, wherein he made clear his wildly hateful views. You blew it, Boogerman. 

‘Street Fighter’ movie makes 14 dollars on opening weekend (1994)

Adjusted for inflation those 14 dollars equate to nearly 30 bucks today, putting Street Fighter’s debut near the recent opening of DC’s Blue Beetle.

Resident Evil proves that video games can have bad voice acting too (1996)

A landmark achievement in getting games to be considered as seriously as film or television.

PaRappa the Rappa briefly unites rap world (1997)

While the East Coast/West Coast hip hop conflict was fully raging, all parties involved held a peaceful summit and agreed that the rapping dog had to go.

‘Gran Turismo’ is a runaway success (1997)

For years, critics of the video game industry said they’d never have the cultural influence to affect the world. That was obviously before the Gearbox Ratio phenomenon of 1997, inspired by this wildly popular street racing simulator.

‘Diablo’ upsets parents (1997 – present)

The Diablo franchise has historically upset parents and religious groups with the release of every major installment, largely due to its shockingly realistic portrayal of the southwestern United States. 

Every Katamari Cousin Ranked by How Comfortable We’d Be Adding Them on Social Media

Social media is weird, we all know that. And our connections that we have with family members on there makes it all the weirder. We are simply more comfortable with certain relatives seeing our posts online than others, so here are all of the Katamari cousins ranked by how comfortable we’d feel about connecting with them online.

#58 — Ace

Ace hates “modernity” and wants to return to “tradition”. I posted a picture of my cat once on Instagram, and Ace commented “you should have kids by now, not pets.” Thanks man, aren’t you getting divorced or something?

#57 — Fujio

Fujio is a total narc. One time in college I was tagged in a photo on Facebook where I was holding a red Solo cup at some party. Lo and behold, I got a call from my parents the next day because Fujio told them immediately. He doesn’t even know what was in that cup. I mean, it was alcohol, and I was underrage, but still. Be cool, Fujio!

#56 — Kenta

Is that The Prince? Oh, no, it’s just Kenta, who looks exactly like The Prince except with four legs, which he will quickly remind you about at absolutely every chance he gets because he’s totally self-absorbed. He’ll make every online interaction all about him, and then will blame it on his BPD when someone gets upset at him for it.

#55 — Drive

You know all those conservative rant vlogs that are filmed from the inside of a pickup truck? Drive doesn’t need to film in the truck, he is the truck, and he’s got a lot of awful things to say about the “woke mind virus,” as he so plainly puts it.

#54 — Signolo

All Signolo knows is either swipe left or swipe right. He’s the physical embodiment of a dating app. If you ever post a picture of a female friend on social media, Signolo will be there to make some uncomfortable “swipe right!” comment, guaranteed.

#53 — Norn

One time I was trying to sell an old TV on Facebook Marketplace and Norn reported it for absolutely no reason. I never found out why, and it’s still bothering me.

#52 — Paula

God, Paula is so judgemental. She was born into wealth, and has the gall to be one of those “pull yourselves up by your bootstraps” kind of people online, despite the fact that her parents pay the rent for her apartment in Silverlake.

#51 — Kuro

Kuro really just likes to keep to himself. I invited him to a few parties on Facebook a while back, and he just removed me as a friend all of a sudden. Sorry I tried to include you, Kuro. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.

#50 — June

Have you ever made a joke on Twitter, for everyone to get it except for one person? That’s June, every time. “Not funny. I don’t get it.” I don’t know what to tell you, June. Thanks for the feedback, I guess.

#49 — Johnson

God damn it, don’t even get me started on Johnson. He’s always making super uncomfortable jokes about what his head is shaped like, and is probably going to be outed as some kind of sex creep at some point. Best to just distance yourself from him now.

#48 — Kyun

Kyun is a model, and she really acts like one, too. One time I posted a selfie that I thought looked pretty good, and she just commented “lol”. Thanks a lot, Kyun. That ruined my whole day.

#47 — Sherman

I had one funny back-and-forth with Sherman on Twitter, and now he’s hitting me up at least once a month with “dude, we should start a podcast together”. “Yeah man that would be fun, lol, kinda busy atm but we’ll see.” Dude just doesn’t… get… the hint.

#46 — Slip

Slip is really two-dimensional. Obviously his appearance too but like, it’s also his personality, which, just because you’re flat doesn’t mean our interactions have to be too. He’s quick to state the obvious on anything you post which always makes things really awkward and stilted.

#45 — Shy

Shy is always vague-posting on social media late at night. You check up on her, and she’s just like “oh I’m fine, those were just song lyrics.” Well thanks Shy, you had us all worried. If something really happens, now we’ll never know!

#44 — Velvet

Velvet is a job recruiter and, despite the fact that I’ve posted on LinkedIn several times that I am actively looking for work, she never reaches out. Come on Velvet, throw me a line, please. Isn’t family supposed to help each other out?

#43 — Odeko

I am so tired of being called a manlet by this guy. He thinks he’s such a chad just because his head is extremely tall and narrow, but he has no personality to match it. Whatever man, I’m not the soyboy– you are.

#42 — Nik

Nik is the physical manifestation of “um, actually”. He’s quick to tell you how wrong you are constantly, and always corrects me over the most minor of grievances. Did I forget the exact year that Citizen Kane came out? Yes. Do I need Nik in my replies correcting me on it? No, not really!

#41 — Opeo

“Guess who’s in the hospital again? Yep, it’s me…” Opeo is constantly farming for sympathy likes, and it stopped being “cute” forever ago. Being incredibly accident-prone is not a substitute for a personality, dude. Be more careful and keep this kind of stuff to yourself.

#40 — Pokkle

Pokkle is always commenting about how much better everything is in his home country, but never specifies exactly where that is. I posted some pictures from a fun day out at a theme park recently, and sure enough, Pokkle was there in the replies:  “Oh we have way better ones back home.” That’s cool, Pokkle. And where exactly is that, again?

#39 — Harvest

Bless her soul, Harvest really is just trying her best, but she’s fallen prey to several MLM scams online. All of her posts are just shilling some mysterious product from a company no one has ever heard of. I’m afraid to even click on her profile because I might get a virus.

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