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How to Pitch Hard Drive


Thank you for your interest in writing for Hard Drive! Hard Drive is a small, independent comedy company trying to exist online. As such, the people who enjoy writing for the site usually do not rely on Hard Drive freelance payments as any meaningful portion of their income. We’ll pay you fast and easy, but there are no big dollars to be made here.

Ok, now on to the fun stuff.

Here are the content types we are currently looking for:

“20 Things” Lists

Here are some examples:

20 Scathing Critiques I Have of the Barbie Movie (Guest Column by Ben Shapiro)
30 Insanely Brilliant New Ideas Elon Musk Has for the Company Formerly Known as Twitter
The 40 Most Underrated Moments in Gaming History
20 Songs Barbie Could Use If They Wanna Replace That Lizzo One



Here are some examples:

“Please Stop Insulting Me on My Size,” Our Interview With Tiny Widdle Baby Tom Holland
“These Internet Hamburgers Will Be the End of Me,” Our Interview With MrBeast


“Every lists”

Here are some examples:

Every Stardew Valley Resident Ranked by How Comfortable I Would Be Asking Them for Drugs
Every Smash Bros Character Ranked by How Likely They Are to Fall for an Insurance Scam
Every Hades Character Ranked by Their Chance of Beating Me in 1-on-1 Basketball
Every ‘Street Fighter 6’ Character Ranked by How Much I’d Like to Sit Next to Them On a Plane
Every Avenger Ranked by How Likely They’d Be to Save Me, a Muslim


Satirical and non satirical lists:

We like these articles which are satirical, but would also be open to experimenting with similar headlines that are non-satirical for Hard Drive’s Minus World section. Here are some examples:

The 40 Most Underrated Moments in Gaming History
What Is the Most Popular Video Game in Each State?
The 10 Most Anticipated TV Shows of 2023


New content types with similar characteristics to those above!

Have an idea for a new type of content we should publish? Send us a pitch with a headline and small sample of what the body of the article would be like to convince us! We’re happy to experiment.

Topical Satire Headlines

Hopefully if you’re reading this page you know what a topical satire headline in Hard Drive’s format looks like.


How to apply 

Come up with a pitch for one of these specific content types. Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Does this look like it fits the style and format of other Hard Drive articles?
  2. Am I capable of producing this content and working with Hard Drive to publish it in a timely manner?

If the answer to both of those questions is “yes,” then proceed to write 3 “entries” which would be in the body of your pitch should it be accepted. Sleep on it. Re-read it in the morning, punch it up, then send your pitch in via this link:

The goal of your pitch is to allow one of our editors to get to an “easy yes.” AKA, we want to approve your idea, but you need to prove the idea is good enough to carry the article, and that you can write the body of the article without too much help. We’re happy to help, but are an independent comedy organization (not easy) and can only afford to invest so much time into a single piece.

If your idea has a subtext about a niche topic, it doesn’t hurt to explain the subtext in an additional line, so that our editors can understand the reference. 

For topical satire headline pitches there’s no need to include anything other than the headline.