CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Citing an emergency crunch due to the terrible state of the world, Devolver Digital has reportedly rushed its environmental strategy game Terra Nil to market before the world becomes too destroyed to play it.
“Terra Nil is all about saving a broken, dilapidated landscape, and we’re so excited for people to play it. Although, with recent climate disasters, impending wars, and catastrophic pollution, we had to hurry to get it available before the real world became a broken, dilapidated landscape,” said creative director Evan Greenwood. “Every day, the lifespan of our game about fixing an uninhabitable planet is shortened by our real planet becoming more uninhabitable.”
Terra Nil developers at the company Free Lives went on to explain some of the challenges of creating the environmental strategy game.
“During production, we had to do a lot of problem solving like fixing code errors, streamlining menus, and putting out random environmental fires in our office as a result of climate change,” explained the game’s lead designer. “It was difficult doing bug fixes while landfills expanded into our office, and rising sea levels flooded our conference room. One time we finally had a working test build of the game, but it was useless after spontaneously combusting into flame. Despite all that, the game is pretty fun!”
Early players of Terra Nil noted some emotional responses to the gameplay.
“It’s crazy feeling like you have so much work ahead of you to repair this scorched, awful landscape, but now I can just relax by playing some Terra Nil,” beta tester Craig Grimsby said. “Although anyone expecting a real, down-to-Earth story should look elsewhere, because you really have to suspend your disbelief that anyone would care enough to try and reverse the destruction of humanity, much less for free.”
At press time, sources at Devolver Digital also reported that Terra Nil was crunched in production even harder to make sure the $24.99 price point wasn’t made completely worthless by impending inflation.
This article is sponsored by Devolver Digital! Yes, this article is satire, but there are two things about it that are true: (1) our world is currently being destroyed by devastating man-made climate change and (2) Terra Nil is a super cool game that you can get on Steam right now! Check that shit out, dog.
SAN FRANCISCO — A small independent video game development company has finally put the finishing touches on their long awaited release for the Nintendo 3DS, sources have confirmed.
“Wow, I wasn’t sure we’d get this game done in time,” said Blain Garrison, the director of Shadows of the Wind, a Soulslike Metroidvania game with crafting elements. “But we spent the last 12 months just really working hard, unplugging from the gaming world at large and just focusing on one thing; getting this 3DS game done and into the hands of the public. We’re going to release it right away, we’re just so excited that it’s finally possible!”
Members of the small but dedicated team described the sacrifices they’d made in order to complete Shadows of the Wind, which was released earlier today.
“It was the longest three years of my professional life, no doubt about that,” said Tara Boothe-Wilson, a level designer on the game. “But I believe so strongly in Shadows that I really think the sales and reviews ought to set us up pretty nicely moving forward on our next project. We’re also very excited to be done and to have some time to chill out. I might even play my DS for the first time in ages!”
The Nintendo 3DS eShop, which closes permanently today, features hundreds of video games, all hoping to find an audience in the final moments of the platform’s existence.
“Ooh, I wonder what I should buy before it all disappears,” said Chris Mills, a local gamer browsing the store on the 3DS he still plays daily. “Shadows of the Wind looks really good, but it’s also probably my last chance to ever check out something like Attack of the Friday Monsters! Also in the mix is the ability to pay for Super Mario Bros. 3 for the fifth time in my life. Argh, I don’t know what to do and I only have ten minutes to decide!”
As of press time, the status of Shadows of the Wind’s Google Stadia port was unclear.
The year is 1994. The gaming market is flooded with mascot platformers, turn-based RPGs, and fighting games. Most gamers were preoccupied with Donkey Kong Country, Final Fantasy VI, or Street Fighter II Turbo, instead of a strange game called EarthBound. Little did we know, that this little game “that stinks” would go on to inspire so many “EarthBound-likes” much later on.
EarthBound is considered a cult classic, though some may argue the game is a straight-up classic given its widespread popularity. However, this was not always the case.
For many people, unlocking Ness in the original Super Smash Bros. was their introduction to the world of EarthBound. Among the roster of fighters in the original game, Ness was arguably the least recognizable, and with that came an inescapable air of mystique. Who is this boy? Why does he have psychic powers? Is he a Pokémon or something? This drove children absolutely mad, and seeking answers to their queries, they would eventually stumble upon the critical darling known only as EarthBound.
Or Mother 2, as they call it in Japan. Oh, I’m sorry, did you already know that? Well, did you know that Super Mario Bros. 2also went by a different name in Japan: Doki Doki Panic? Not so tough are you now, smart guy.
The man, the myth, the legend. And also Mr. Itoi.
Most RPGs at the time, such as Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest, usually saw a ragtag team of misfits set out on an adventure across a medieval fantasy world filled with swords, potions, and goblins, on their way to kill god or at least somebody with a god complex. It’s a bonafide recipe for success, considering that many games are still churning out the same formula to this very day. But, EarthBound set out to be different.
Set in the year 199X (90s kids will remember this year fondly), EarthBound follows the exploits of literal children Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo, and their journey across “Eagleland”, which is quite frankly an offensive parody of the United States. Instead of swords, shields, and magic spells, our team is equipped with baseball bats, yo-yos, and psychic powers. You square off against a gang leader in an arcade, fight a giant pile of barf, save a town from a group of crazy cultists, and plenty of other scenarios not typically seen in RPGs or video games at the time.
EarthBound, and the Mother series at large, is created by Shigesato Itoi, who inserts a lot of his personal beliefs into the games. “There is a part of the creator’s soul in that game,” said Zion Grassl, creator of the documentary The MOTHER We Share – Our EarthBound Story. “And I think there’s not a lot of games out there that necessarily feel like that.” Itoi’s wikipedia page describes him as a copywriter, essayist, lyricist, game designer, and actor. The man has an impressive pedigree to say the least, one that sets him and his games apart from others in the field.
Typical JRPG dialogue
The plot is best left experienced instead of explained, and it’s safe to say that EarthBound resonated greatly with those who could actually get their hands on it. Nintendo didn’t make the game widely available for quite some time after the SNES release, abstaining from Virtual Console distribution until the tail-end of the Wii U era (in a desperate need to sell Wii U’s) leaving those who played it to feel like members of an exclusive club.
Later on in the 2000s, the gaming market had shifted more towards realism, and shooting people. Grizzled men with guns dominated the medium, and color palettes would become largely desaturated, tinged in deep shades of brown and sometimes even gray. Gamers felt fatigued from the same old militarized mystery meat games and desired something different, and with the rise of indie games in general, we began to see many EarthBound-likes pop up over the years.
So, what exactly is an EarthBound-like? Basically, it’s an RPG that deconstructs commonly held notions of the genre, usually filled with weird enemies, a unique combat system, and offbeat dialogue. Many of these games tend to be musings on depression, or the inner workings of our beings, to the point that it’s become a bit of a meme over the years.
Arguably, the first EarthBound-like was Yume Nikki. Released in 2004 by mysterious Japanese developer Kikiyama, the RPG Maker game takes clear visual and thematic inspiration from Mother while still very much being its own thing. It’s an avante-garde adventure that, also like EarthBound, inspired many up-and-coming developers and was a watershed moment for indie games in general.
A familiar tone.
It’s not surprising that EarthBound inspired so many games. Many people grew up playing JRPGs, and as such they hold a special place in their hearts. EarthBound took that tried-and-true formula and gave it a very personal touch. EarthBound is a piece of art where the creator wears their heart on their sleeve, which lets it resonate a little more with audiences than, say, a high-fantasy world filled with hours of grinding (though that’s not to say the Mother series isn’t guilty of the grind). After EarthBound, there was only one more game released in the Mother series, and perhaps the lack of overseas distribution is to thank for the rise of EarthBound-likes in general.
I am of course talking about that taboo, bad word game that Nintendo dares not to speak of: Mother 3. Originally it was planned to release on the Nintendo 64 as EarthBound 64, but the game was canceled and later revived on the Game Boy Advance, with an obviously different title. The game was tragically only released in Japan– at least officially. Members of Starmen.net (one of the most dedicated fanbases to anything I’ve ever seen on the internet) produced a fan translation of the game, allowing people across the world to enjoy it and sob over the ending together.
Still, a fan translation isn’t exactly considered “wide distribution”, and poses a hurdle to many who either don’t know or don’t care to know how to play the game on their computers. It hasn’t stopped people from begging Nintendo to release the game overseas non-stop (just look at the replies to any Nintendo Direct announcement). However, that unquenched hunger and frothing desire inspired many developers to fill the hole in their hearts themselves. Toby Fox famously created Undertale mostly by himself, and has cited EarthBound as a massive inspiration for his game, which has surpassed its muse in popularity at this point.
Undertale’s unique and quirky battle system.
Other popular EarthBound-likes are LISA, OMORI, and the upcoming title Oddity, which started life as a fan-made successor originally titled Mother 4, which absolutely had no way of being released under said moniker knowing Nintendo’s protective policies towards their IP. EarthBound-likes continue to take the internet by storm, and one of my personal favorites over the years is Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, a hilarious send-up of the genre. It’s too bad we’ll never get that sequel.
There’s always something to be said about having too much of a good thing, hence the debates centered around the many EarthBound-likes that exist now. Have these games become oversaturated? Or are these masterpieces that are pushing the medium into being considered a legitimate art form? I don’t know, but it’s impossible to deny the impact of EarthBound, as it created one of the greatest video game characters of all-time: Dungeon Man.
The Resident Evil 4 Remake has added a ton of different side quests, ranging from a mini-boss enemy with A Savage Mutt Request to destroying Blue Medallions. Grave Robber is one of the earliest you’ll come across and although it appears difficult at first, it’s surprisingly easy. This guide will cover how to quickly take care of the Grave Robber request in Resident Evil 4 and collect your Spinel rewards.
Where to find the Grave Robber Request in RE4
This request is a tiny bit out of the way, but it’s likely you’ll come across it if you’re exploring every route and area. It becomes available starting in Chapter 3, once you can finally access the Church and cemetery. After getting the cutscene showing the Church doors are locked, you will need to walk around the right side. Skip the door on the left and keep walking until you’re behind the building. The request will be pinned all the way at the end next to some treasure and a bundle of resources.
How to Complete the Grave Robber Side Quest in Resident Evil 4 Remake
In order to complete this request, the emblems on a couple of tombstones will need to be destroyed. To be more specific, the request mentions that the tombstones are for a pair of “traitorous twins” who joined the Los Iluminados cult.
The cemetery in front of the Church has a bunch of graves and quite a few of them have different emblems on them. There isn’t a lot to go off of and the correct ones won’t pop up on the map either.
Before you go desecrating every tombstone in sight, it’s important to recall that the ones you’re looking for belong to a pair of twins. Since they’re related, it would make sense for them to be buried close to each other and maybe even have identical tombstones.
A pair of tombstones near the front of the cemetery fit the bill perfectly. They’re the only tombstones with emblems to be situated right next to each other and they both have the same V-like design. Right behind them are a gate and the fallen tree. If you want to know where they appear on the map, check out the image below.
All you need to do is destroy the emblems. Shooting is of course an option, but at this range, you can save some bullets if you’d like and just use your knife. After you’re finished, head back to the Merchant’s shop near the village and turn the request in. You’ll be rewarded with 2 Spinel.
It may not be much, but every bit counts. If you want to stay on top of these requests and earn more rewards, we’ve got you covered with an easily missable one from Chapter 4 which tasks you with finding the rare Golden Egg!
WWE 2K23 has gained immense popularity in the video game industry, as the popular wrestling title has secured a top sales position in a short time. As more and more players are venturing into the virtual wrestling world, some may need help to defeat their opponents due to the overwhelming number of movesets and signature actions available.
While players can check a wrestler’s moves in the pause menu, selecting the best ones can be daunting, especially for those new to WWE 2K23. To help players dominate the arena, this article has compiled the best movesets for WWE 2K23.
Best WWE 2K23 Movesets: U.F.O.
Claudio Castagnoli is a professional wrestler from Switzerland who is currently under contract with All Elite Wrestling. Claudio executes his unique move U.F.O. by hoisting his opponent into a torture rack position, after which he initiates a series of full-circle spins, accelerating to his desired speed before hurling his opponent onto the ground with immense force.
What sets this move apart is the remarkable balancing act Claudio performs, reminiscent of Dolph Ziggler’s signature “showing off” style. In a recent interview with Metro UK, Cesaro shared that he had been eagerly waiting for nine years to perform his special move called UFO. He also stated that such moves would be reserved for special occasions to keep the audience engaged.
Secret Cody Cutter
It’s undeniable that Cody Rhodes is among the top wrestlers globally, and his matches since returning to WWE have been exceptional. One significant factor contributing to this is his diverse range of moves that players can use to tackle their opponents.
Secret Cody Cutter is one of his best moves, and players have the freedom to use the Cody Cutter move as many times as they want since it is not categorized as a finishing move. Nevertheless, exercising caution while using this move is crucial, as opponents may anticipate and counter it if overused. To perform the Springboard Cody Cutter move in the ring, players should first move Cody to the corner of the ring during a match and then press LB/L1 and X/Square buttons. It is recommended to stun the opponent before using this move.
Best WWE 2K23 Movesets: Double Underhook Brainbuster
The Brainbuster or Avalanche Suplex is a popular WWE move that involves a wrestler lifting their opponent in a front facelock, hooking their pants, and then falling onto their back. The move causes the opponent to land on their head while standing upright.
Furthermore, if the attacker modifies the Brainbuster by double underhooking the enemy, it becomes a ‘Double Underhook Brainbuster,’ which is even more dangerous. This move involves boosting the opponent while hooking both their arms, then sending them crashing down to the floor at high speed.
Lethal Combination
In WWE 2K23, a lethal combination move refers to a sequence of moves executed rapidly by a player’s character. These moves typically involve a combination of strikes, grapples, and finishers that are chained together to create a powerful and devastating attack.
Lethal combination moves can be used to quickly wear down an opponent’s health and stamina, making them more susceptible to being pinned or submitted. The specific moves and button combinations required to execute a lethal combination move can vary depending on the character being played.
Best WWE 2K23 Movesets: Burning Hammer
The Burning Hammer is a notoriously dangerous move that has been included in WWE 2K video games for some time. In the most recent game, WWE 2K23, a modified version called the ‘Burning Hammer 2’ has also been introduced.
The move is an Inverted Death Valley Driver that involves the wrestler lifting their opponent in a Torture Rack position and then dropping them headfirst onto the ground. The force of impact is concentrated on the head and neck, which significantly damages the opponent. Therefore, it’s a brutal and unforgiving move that leaves no margin for error.
Need a little extra something to finish your opponents off? Check out our guide to the best finishers in WWE 2K23.
Finishers are the coolest-looking moves a wrestler can perform in their WWE 2K23 matches, and they usually imply that the end of the match is near. If you’re a WWE 2K23 fan, then you’re in luck because the game has over 200 playable characters and offers an array of iconic finishers in WWE history! Additionally, the game developers have drastically improved the animations of these finishers, providing a more visually impressive appeal to them. So without any further ado, let’s check out the best finishers in the latest installment of the series, WWE 2K23, in order to end your fights in style.
Best WWE 2K23 Finishers: Curb Stomp – Seth Rollins
If you aspire to play as Seth Rollins in WWE 2k23, the Curb Stomp is one of the most lethal finishing techniques that you can perform to overcome your opponents. Seth Rollins has renamed his deadly move to the Curb Stomp, formerly known as Blackout.
Seth Rollins also has another version of the Curb Stomp that he can use. If his opponent is dizzy and close to the corner of the wrestling ring, Seth can press a button to initiate the finishing move. He will throw his opponent onto the ground and then jump onto the second rope to execute a more powerful version of the Curb Stomp.
There are various ways to execute the Curb Stomp in WWE 2K23. Nevertheless, the most effective way to execute the move is to drag your opponent toward the corner of the wrestling ring and then execute the Curb Stomp. After throwing the opponent to the ground, Seth Rollins will climb the corner of the rope. He then launches himself off the corner and forcibly stomps on his opponent’s head.
Kiss of Death (KOD) – Bianca Belair
The renowned American professional wrestler Bianca Belair has one of the best finishers, Kiss of Death, to offer in WWE 2K23. Even the most seasoned wrestling enthusiasts can vouch for the fact that no other wrestler has dared to replicate this move, making it all the more special and exclusive to the Queen of the Ring herself.
To perform her finisher, Bianca carries her opponent on her back and slams them onto the ground first with all her force. This move causes significant damage to the opponent’s skull, showcasing Bianca’s ruthless power. For best results, she must execute this move while standing right in front of her opponent.
Best WWE 2K23 Finishers: Attitude Adjustment – John Cena
John Cena’s most iconic wrestling move is the Attitude Adjustment finisher, a variation of the Fireman’s Carry power slam. With his finisher, John Cena lifts an opponent onto his shoulders and flips them horizontally, causing significant damage to their body and head, regardless of their size.
The best part is performing the Double Attitude Adjustment is relatively easy in WWE 2K23. Simply be in a match with two opponents while controlling John Cena and have a Finisher move available. Next, drag or Irish Whip your opponent into the same corner, and once they are stacked against each other, approach them with your Finisher move available. Press the R2/RT and A/X buttons to hit the Double Attitude Adjustment on both opponents.
F-5 – Brock Lesnar
Brock Lesnar has been an unstoppable force in the wrestling world since he made his debut in 2002. And if you weren’t aware, Brock Lesnar’s F-5 finisher move is highly effective and even ended The Undertaker’s winning streak at WrestleMania.
He uses it by lifting an opponent onto his shoulders and spinning them before falling down, causing significant damage. The move’s impressive “one vs. two” variations allow Lesnar to execute a Double F-5 on two opponents simultaneously.
To perform the F5 Finisher in WWE 2K23, you need to stand in front of your opponent and press R2 + X. This move is unique to Brock Lesnar, where he lifts his opponent onto his shoulders, spins them, and drops them onto the ring. Sometimes, performing the F5 requires additional steps.
Best WWE 2K23 Finishers: 619 – Rey Mysterio
Rey Mysterio, a wrestling legend recognized as “The Master of the 619,” has a remarkable career with multiple championship wins and performances around the globe. He is popular among WWE video game enthusiasts, where his famous move, the 619, has been featured in many games.
The move is executed by Mysterio bouncing off the ropes and striking his opponent’s head with a spinning kick, inflicting considerable damage. The 619 is not only visually impressive but also an effective move within the game.
To execute Rey Mysterio’s signature move in the WWE 2K23, players must fully charge the signature bar and then approach an opponent from the front, pressing the designated button. This will trigger Mysterio to throw the opponent toward the middle ropes. Mysterio will then swiftly run towards the opponent, unleashing a powerful two-footed spinning kick to their face.
Looking for the best movesets as well? Check out our picks for the best WWE 2K23 movesets!
YOUR SISTER’S HOUSE — Close sources report that your 20-year reign as the family video game champion finally came to an end as, just this week, it was revealed that you struggled to compete with your nephew who vastly improved at Super Smash Bros. Ultimate since the last family get-together.
“I don’t know what happened. I mean, the last time I saw the kid, I could pick a random character and three-stock him while still holding a conversation,” you reportedly said to yourself, splashing your face with cold water while hiding in the bathroom after the match. “I knew something was up when he asked if he could set up custom controls. Then he turned off all the items and whooped me with the Minecraft guy. He should be banned!”
The fighting game savant, your 13-year-old nephew Aaron, said he spends hours after school honing his talents in the game with the hopes of “going pro” and competing for hundreds of dollars.
“I’ve got all the fundamentals down by now, you know — anvil shorthopping, redstone footstools, and [turbo anvil cancel options], so now I’m really focusing on the mental aspect,” explained your nephew, as he locked you placed some blocks, preventing you from grabbing the ledge as King K. Rool. “You’re such a scrub; you’re awful at neutral and you let me set up my zero-to-deaths on basically every stock. It’s kinda sad. I thought adults were good at stuff.”
At press time, those close to the information confirmed that you were muttering to yourself that you have a “grown-up job” that is way more important than a dumb Nintendo game.
Are you a youth struggling to figure out your identity? Well, fuck that noise. Video games can do the heavy lifting for you! Don’t believe us? Just check out the Yakuza franchise for five excellent personality archetypes you can cop with zero effort.
#5 — Kazuma Kiryu
Are you that kid who smokes crack behind the gym, but also leads the D.A.R.E. program at school? If so, this archetype will allow you to feel simultaneously virtuous, righteous, and holier than your peers, while also being one bad, respectable motherfucker who does whatever you want. Don’t worry — as long as you wear stylish suits and constantly frown, no one will be able to hold you accountable for your rampant hypocrisy.
#4 — Goro Majima
Hey, kiddo, perk up! You’re not alone—we all have fantasies about shanking fellow students in the locker room then licking their blood off the floor. If you take on Majima’s whole vibe, you can indulge your fantasy while also being a great person who gives the best birthday gifts in your entire friend circle. What a juicy, alluring contradiction you are.
#3 — Daisaku Kuze
So what if you’re the school bully? At least you stand for something. Beat the shit out of those nerds just like Kuze. Never let their squeals or good grades deter you.
#2 — Saeko Mukoda
If someone calls you a raging bitch, don’t take that shit. Go full Mukoda. Start spreading gossip. Cause scenes in public. Do whatever it takes to make their life miserable. That’ll teach them to slander you.
#1 — Ono Michio
You cute little vitamin-filled go-lucky piece of asshole lint. Everyone hates your ever-optimistic smile. Your own mother recoils when you hug her in public. But that’s why you do it, right? If you choose this character, godspeed.
There you have it! Five comprehensive ways to solve your teenage identity crisis, courtesy of Yakuza series creator and youth development specialist Toshihiro Nagoshi. If you liked this roundup, be sure to check our other listicles, including Top 5 Fuckable Sonic Characters.
Resident Evil 4‘s second major location – a dark and mysterious castle overrun with Las Plagas-infected enemies and winding, interconnected pathways – houses some of the game’s most clever puzzles. One in particular is the Resident Evil 4 Treasury’s sword puzzle, which asks you to align a series of four swords in the correct order to open a passage. If you’ve found yourself stuck on this one, we’ve got you covered on how to complete the puzzle and continue your journey through the castle.
Resident Evil 4 – How to Solve the Treasury Sword Puzzle in RE4
When entering the Treasury room with the four pictures with sword inlays, you’ll find that one is missing. That’s because the fourth sword is hidden behind a gate on one end of the room, meaning you’ll need to open that and retrieve the missing sword before you can complete the puzzle.
The gate’s lock sports three small animal symbols. If you’ve made it this far into the castle, you’ve definitely encountered similar puzzles involving these symbols, and the way to solve it is similar to the times before – you need to hit emblems in this area that correspond to the animal symbols on the lock.
Deer – Pull the emblem’s chain to the left of the gate.
Eagle – Shoot the emblem behind the gate on the right side.
Snake – Shoot the emblem behind the gate on the right side.
Once you’ve opened the gate, you can head inside and grab the Bloodied Sword and then return to the main section of the room. Here you’ll find that each of the pictures on the wall correspond to a specific time in a soldier’s life, so you’ll have to place the swords in the slots that best represent those periods from left to right.
Picture 1 – Iron Sword
Picture 2 – Golden Sword
Picture 3 – Bloodied Sword
Picture 4 – Rusted Sword
When you’ve placed all of the swords in the correct slots, the path forward will open, allowing you to continue your trek through the castle.
FAIRFIELD, Pa. — Frustrated sources close to Ryan Dugas, a gamer who refuses to use wireless accessories and peripherals, say he interrupted a recent Call of Duty: Warzone session when he had to step away from his computer for a moment.
“I swear to God, we’ve been telling him this would happen,” said Nicole Weiner, one of Dugas’ squadmates. “He rants about audio fidelity and latency, but what the fuck does that matter when we’re taking fire and doesn’t even have his damn headset on? Sure, he’d be AFK anyway, but we could at least yell at him to hurry his ass back to his battlestation and get his soft-as-baby-shit hands on his fancy wired mouse and keyboard. Of course, there might be a little static in our cries for help, and that would ruin his ‘immersion.’ Jesus Christ.”
Dugas’ wife, Anne, shared the complexities of being in a relationship with someone who insists on using wired technology.
“He’s always asking me to do things for him because he can’t get up,” said Anne, who was relaxing by streaming a game on Xbox Cloud Gaming. “Like if there’s a package at the door, or if his laundry needs to be switched. It’s kind of bullshit, to be honest. The worst is when he needs me to bring him food. His gaming room is so hard to walk through because of all the wires. Everything is wired. His controllers, his climate-controlled gaming chair, literally everything. He has a landline phone in there. It’s impossible to walk through that room without tripping.”
When questioned about his opposition to wireless tech, Dugas deflected criticism.
“So I’m the bad guy because I want to maximize every advantage possible?” said Dugas, whose recorded audio was crystal clear. “Imagine if I lost a match in the gulag because there was a millisecond delay while the signal from my mouse click wandered aimlessly through the air rather than purposefully through a strand of copper. These guys might not find my ideas so crazy if that happened. As for why I had to get up, that’s none of their business. It’s the one thing Anne can’t do for me. Let’s just say that they certainly didn’t want a live audio feed of what was happening.”
At press time, unconfirmed sources reported that Dugas had returned to his gaming chair only to find that his cat had chewed through his mouse cable.
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