Our 100% Objectively Correct Ranking of Final Fantasy Games

Posted on by Ryan Fleishman

Everyone’s ranked the Final Fantasy games. However, these rankings all have one common problem: they’re wrong. Metacritic scores, fan reception, sales, yada yada. No, the existing Final Fantasy rankings are all wrong because they aren’t identical to MY list. And my list is objectively correct. So, without further ado, here is the objectively correct ranking of mainline Final Fantasy games.

Note: I’m not including the MMORPG titles (XIV, XI) because you catgirls and bunnyboys scare me and I don’t want the smoke. Please do not hurt me.

 

13. Final Fantasy XIII

Final Fantasy XIII holds a unique spot in my heart as the first game that ever disappointed me. Toriyama’s Lighting fanfiction somehow manages to upstage Kingdom Hearts as the most egregious abuser of jargon in video game history. L’cie, Cieth, Cacoon, what the fuck? What is any of this? Characters like Hope and Vanille make me want to take a bath in a meat grinder. Play FFXIII if you inexplicably crave walking forward down a straight hallway for 20 hours.

 

12. Final Fantasy XV

Final Fantasy XV caters to a dream we’ve all held since the dawn of humanity: chilling with the boys. Its action combat system is almost fun, and would go on to be genuinely amazing in the FFVII remake where you can finally press A to manually auto attack. Most of my problems with XV come from time constraints and upper management interference. The story feels gutted to sell DLC story packs and the game tapers into FFXIII-style hallways towards the end as developers rush to get it over with, but at least you can blame the idiot suits at Square Enix this time. 

 

11. Final Fantasy VIII

I like Final Fantasy VIII. Hell, I’d happily replay any game on this list that doesn’t have Lighting as a main character. However, FFVIII’s Junction system ultimately creates an extremely erratic combat progression system that encourages saving your magic like a desperate bitcoin investor. The story also fails to meet the impossible challenge of having time travel makes sense.

 

10. Final Fantasy XII

Final Fantasy XII’s gambit system feels like an intro to coding class in the best way possible, and I could spend hours creating a team that beats the game on its own while I take a nap. The plot tackles political intrigue in a way most Final Fantasy games couldn’t dream of. So why the low placement? Vaan, the main character, is a comically irrelevant bystander who shouldn’t exist in the game. Most of the time, playing as Vaan in FFXII feels like watching someone else enjoy a stellar Final Fantasy title. 

 

9. Final Fantasy 3

Final Fantasy 3 is an innovative game that introduced some of your favorite tropes, such as the second world map, dark warriors and dark crystals, and the awesome job system. This is where dragoons learned how to Jump, and thieves learned how to Steal. Before, thieves were just warriors with a lower bench press PR. It also introduced the Onion Knight, which is a very funny job title. FF3’s biggest flaw is that Final Fantasy 5 does these systems better, and FF3 doesn’t have any real story to lure you back to the past regardless.

 

8. Final Fantasy — That’s it. Just Final Fantasy

FF1 is fascinating. You can feel the DNA of the roleplaying genre coalesce in this title, and there’s a sense of gravity that comes with the game’s history. These aren’t warriors of light; these are THE Warriors of Light. Of course, FF1 also comes with infuriating antiquities. My personal least favorite tidbit is that FF1 inns use low threadcount sheets that can’t cure KO’ed party members. I guess you just have to find God. Oh, there’s also a poison area that would make Miyazaki piss white. But these foibles are part of what makes the game intriguing, and I recommend the pixel remaster to anyone who wants to see the start of tradition.

 

7. Final Fantasy 4

Final Fantasy 4 on the Nintendo DS was the first RPG I ever played, and I feel like a sinner placing in the bottom half of the list. FF4 is where Final Fantasy cemented its identity, with the first fully realized story and developed player characters. Cecil’s journey from dark knight to paladin might be the first character arc in a video game, and Kain is hot. The game is also where Square began experimenting with boss mechanics, such as Rubicante’s cape or Cagnazzo’s shell. Unfortunately, FF4 is also the most rigid Final Fantasy by far in terms of party composition which tanks replay value, and I’m getting real sick of Yang pretending to die while stealing my best gear. 

 

6. Final Fantasy 10

Final Fantasy 10 is the best Final Fantasy that I don’t feel strongly about. The story is touching, personal, yet grand in scale. Is this the only RPG brave enough to suggest the church might be bad guys? I know you’ve all seen the clip of Tidus laughing poorly, but I swear he’s a good character, along with everyone else in your party. Except Wakka, the racist. Sphere grids are a great way to personalize your characters without a full job system. However, I softlocked myself in childhood when I couldn’t beat a boss and the game didn’t let me leave to grind, so this game sucks. 0/10.

 

5. Final Fantasy 2

I know you disagree with me. Too bad. I love this game so much. Final Fantasy 2 removes the EXP and leveling system. Instead, you gain stats based on your actions in battle – taking damage boosts HP, casting spells boosts mana, etc. This system is awesome and you are all cowards for not loving it. Thankfully, this method of character growth lives on in the Romancing SaGa series which you should totally play. The story is also surprisingly mature – the Emperor absolutely razes multiple cities, and your Sasuke-type childhood friend stays shitty ‘til the end. If you want to see an alternative universe where Final Fantasy could have gone, try FF2.

 

4. Final Fantasy 7

The first disc of Final Fantasy 7 is the best RPG, period. Midgar is a fascinating microcosm of an RPG, Sephiroth feels like the Reaper himself, and you just can’t ignore the sheer shock of turning on a Final Fantasy game to immediately commit ecoterrorism. Cloud, Sephiroth, and Tifa are all much more interesting characters than their famous stereotypes would have you believe. The rest of FF7 is an amazing sci-fi fantasy too, but it suffers the Elden Ring problem: you’re never gonna hit the highs of Limgrave.

 

3. Final Fantasy 5

You’re sleeping on Final Fantasy 5. FF5 is much more lighthearted and adventurous compared to every other melodramatic opera made by Square, and it makes the serious moments hit that much harder towards the end. The job system is flexible and revolutionary, which is reflected by the FFV Four Job Fiesta events still being held to this day. Galuf is the Aeris before Aeris, and I insist that Gilgamesh would be the single most loved character in Final Fantasy canon if this game was ported to the West. 

 

2. Final Fantasy 9

Final Fantasy 9 was a return to traditional fantasy after the creeping industrialization of Final Fantasies 6 through 8, and this bet pays off. Rather than introducing crazy new elements, like, God forbid, the fal’Cie, Final Fantasy 9 sticks to a classic fantasy world and imbues the characters with so much heart and nuance that you don’t even notice the lack of gunblades and motorcycles. Seriously, the characters are out of this world, and everybody has their unique abilities, struggles, and perspectives. FF9 is the game you want to play when you crave a classic RPG experience.

 

1. Final Fantasy 6

Final Fantasy 6 is the best Final Fantasy game. The entire cast is excellent, and everybody is viable in any type of build due to the flexibility of magicite. Terra is the lead character, and an excellent one at that, but you spend significant spans of time without her while the rest of the crew shines through. Kefka is a villain for the ages, and FF6 has the chutzpah to pull the trigger and let Kefka sink the world into ruin halfway through the game. FF6 is a fitting last note to the sprite-based Final Fantasy era. The only reason Final Fantasy 6 isn’t the best RPG of all time is that Chrono Trigger, the actual best RPG ever made, somehow came out on the exact same system.

GTA Online April 13 Weekly Update: All Discounts & Events

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

Want to know what’s in the weekly update for GTA V Online without having to log-in and be exploded by a rampant Rhino Tank? Check out everything you need to know about the update below, including discounts, events, and vehicles for sale.

What Time Does The Weekly Update Begin And Reset In GTA Online?

Here are the localized times for you, but keep in mind that over the span of almost a decade on GTA Online, it’s never happened exactly on time in every single session. Give or take a few minutes, up to a half hour.

Time Zone Begins Resets LS Car Meet Series Reset
Hawaii-Aleutian Time [HST] UTC-10 Thursday, April 13th 12AM Thursday, April 20th 12AM Everyday 2PM
Alaska Daylight Time [AKDT] UTC-8 Thursday, April 13th 2AM Thursday, April 20th 2AM Everyday 4PM
Pacific Daylight Time [PDT] UTC-7 Thursday, April 13th 3AM Thursday, April 20th 3AM Everyday 5PM
Mountain Daylight Time [MDT] UTC-6 Thursday, April 13th 4AM Thursday, April 20th 4AM Everyday 6PM
Central Daylight Time [CDT] UTC-5 Thursday, April 13th 5AM Thursday, April 20th 5AM Everyday 7PM
Eastern Daylight Time [EDT] UTC-4 Thursday, April 13th 6AM Thursday, April 20th 6AM Everyday 8PM
Atlantic Daylight Time [ADT] UTC-3 Thursday, April 13th 7AM Thursday, April 20th 7AM Everyday 8PM
Brasília Summer Time [BRT] UTC-3 Thursday, April 13th 7AM Thursday, April 20th 7AM Everyday 9PM
Greenwich Mean Time [GMT] UTC+0 Thursday, April 13th 10AM Thursday, April 20th 10AM Everyday 12AM
Central European Summer Time [CEST] UTC+2 Thursday, April 13th 12PM Thursday, April 20th 12PM Everyday 2AM
Eastern European Summer Time [EEST] UTC+3 Thursday, April 13th 1PM Thursday, April 20th 1PM Everyday 3AM
Moscow Standard Time [MSK] UTC+3 Thursday, April 13th 1PM Thursday, April 20th 1PM Everyday 3AM
Gulf Standard Time [GST] UTC+4 Thursday, April 13th 2PM Thursday, April 20th 2PM Everyday 4AM
Indian Standard Time [IST] UTC+5.5 Thursday, April 13th 3:30PM Thursday, April 20th 3:30PM Everyday 5:30AM
China Standard Time [CST] UTC+8 Thursday, April 13th 6PM Thursday, April 20th 6PM Everyday 8AM
Japan Standard Time [JST] UTC+9 Thursday, April 13th 7PM Thursday, April 20th 7PM Everyday 9AM
Australian Eastern Standard Time [AEST] UTC+10 Thursday, April 13th 8PM Thursday, April 20th 8PM Everyday 10AM
New Zealand Daylight Time [NZST] UTC+12 Thursday, April 13th 10PM Thursday, April 20th 10PM Everyday 12PM

What Is The New Vehicle In GTA Online This Week?

Courtesy @crsN

The Karin Boor off-road, two-seater has finally been made available permanently to purchase for a whopping $1.28M from Southern San Andreas Autos. This is the last of the cars from the latest DLC to be released to the market. Acquire a bonus Karin tee if bought by April 27th.

What Are The 2x GTA$ & RP Events In GTA Online This Week?

Business Battles Freemode Events, along with a 3x GTA$ payout to Associates and Bodyguards.

  • Aircraft Carrier Assault
  • Assassination
  • Assault
  • Car Meet
  • Factory Raid
  • Joyrider
  • Merryweather Drop
  • Parking Garage
  • Pick-Up
  • Police Station
  • Vehicle Export
  • UFO Battle
  • Showroom has been eliminated from the list since The Criminal Enterprises Update

And the Tiny Racers Adversary Mode that harkens back to classic Grand Theft Auto with its top-down perspective and power-up pickups in races to knockout opponents in last position.

What Are The 1.5x GTA$ & RP Events In GTA Online This Week?

New 1.5x GTA RP events during the April 13 GTA Online Weekly Update.

Special Cargo Sell Missions where players must stockpile and then offload supplies at their highest possible value, now has its profits bolstered by 50% for this week only. An additional bonus in the form of a White Graphic Smoking Jacket can be earned by completing at least one Special Cargo Sale.

What Is Discounted This Week? (GTA Online Weekly Update April 13)

The 11 Bunker Property Locations in GTA Online are discounted by 30% this week, and are necessary for performing Gunrunning tasks. Here’s a list of all the discounted prices:

  • Maze Bank West at Del Perro: $700,000
  • Arcadius Business Center at Pillbox Hill: $1,575,000
  • Lombank West at Del Perro: $2,170,000
  • Maze Bank Tower at Pillbox Hill: $2,800,000

Office Garages and all other Customizations also receive a 30% haircut. With all four locations set in the city, and no discernible difference between their interiors, the choice really boils down to personal preference, price, and previously purchased player properties.

Three road vehicles are also discounted 30% this week: the Pegassi Reaper, the Pegassi Zorrusso, and the Albany V-STR. Find their information in their respective sections below.

What Is Simeon Yetarian Selling At Premium Deluxe Motorsport This Week?

The sales at Deluxe Premium Motorsport during the April 13 GTA Online Weekly Update.

  • The Pegassi Reaper for $1.11M
  • The Ocelot Swinger for $909K
  • The Vapid Flash GT for $1.67M
  • The Übermacht Zion Classic for $812K
  • The Pegassi Tempesta for $1.33M

What Is Luxury Autos Showroom Selling This Week?

  • The Pegassi Zorrusso (pictured above) discounted by 30% now for $1.35M
  • The Coil Raiden selling for $1.37M

What Is Legendary Motorsport Selling?- GTA Online Weekly Update

The Albany V-STR going for $899K. Give it a test drive by heading on over to the Test Track.

GTA V Online Weekly Update: Wheel Podium Vehicle Of The Week

The JB 700W, a two-door sports classic, that normally retails for just over $1.47M at Warstock. A pseudo-Bond’s car, it comes with extensive weaponization options.

What Is The LS Car Meet Series Prize Ride Of The Week?

The Obey 8F Drafter normally sold for $718K by Legendary Motorsport. To win it, simply place in the top five over three consecutive days, in the LS Car Meet Series. The race day resets at midnight UTC (+0). Find your local times in the table at the top.

Test Rides Of The Week (GTA V Online April 13 Weekly Update)

  • The Pfister Growler (pictured above) that lists for $1.63M
  • The Albany V-STR that’s going for a 30% discount at $899K just for this week
  • The Vulcar Warrener HKR retailing for $1.26M

What Is The Next Gen Exclusive Premium Test Ride Of The Week?

The Hakuchou Drag HSW, a motorcycle eligible for Hao’s Special Works performance upgrades that are exclusive to Playstation 5 and Xbox Series X|S. Standard rate is 976K at Legendary Motorsport, with the HSW conversion kit running a massive additional $1.45M.

What Is The Hao’s Special Works Time Trial Of The Week?

North Chumash is this week’s time trial for Hao’s Special Works. Par Times for vehicle Classes are as follows:

  • Class A: 3:49.000
  • Class B: 4:03:000
  • Class C: 4:17:000

As with all Hao’s Special Works content, this premium time trial is exclusive to the next generation consoles: Playstation 5 and Xbox Series X|S.

Video Run:

Looking for ways to maximize your time in Grand Theft Auto Online? Check out our guide to the best nightclub locations in GTA 5 Online!

Buddha Quietly Shuffles Dalai Lama to New Plane of Existence

Posted on by Camden Brazile

DHARAMSALA — In the wake of a controversial video featuring the Dalai Lama with a young boy, religious teacher The Buddha has decided to quietly shuffle the spiritual leader to another plane of existence.

“The Dalai Lama has clearly gone a bit astray, so after much thought I have decided it would be best if he spent some time in a different plane of metaphysical existence going forward,” said Siddhartha Gautama, also known as The Buddha, from his eternal residence beyond the cycle of death and rebirth. “Incidents with young boys happen often with spiritual men, but this one is a real doozy — instead of just moving him to another area or monastery, he’ll be secretly shifted to the plane of hungry ghosts until this whole thing blows over.”

The Dalai Lama was reportedly not happy with his reassignment.

“You ask one little boy to suck your tongue and all of a sudden you’re being shunted down to the infernal plane,” the Dalai Lama said. “I wish I was Catholic, then I would just get sent to another part of the country and get some new boys in my circle, but now the boss is entrapping my spirit in an unimaginable Hell until my soul attones. It should be alright though, I’m sure there’s plenty of nine year-old spirits down there for my life essence to mingle with.”

At press time, High Lamas in charge of finding the next reincarnation of the Dalai Lama announced that they were looking for young boys who wouldn’t “fuck up so goddamn much” this time around.

Professor X Supplements School Budget by Projecting Arby’s Ads Into Students’ Brains

Posted on by Naomi Krause

SALEM CENTER, N.Y.  — Citing state budget cuts and low enrollment, founder of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters Charles Xavier has begun beaming Arby’s ads directly into students’ brains.

“We’re facing a funding issue across all fields, we had no choice but to take a corporate sponsor,” Professor Xavier said. “Arby’s was kind enough to step in and provide new textbooks and sports equipment in exchange for every student’s thoughts to be preempted by a 30-second video touting Arby’s new Beef and Cheese Delight sandwich thanks to my telekinetic mutation.”

Future superheroes attending the school have mixed feelings about the mental advertisements.

“Look, I love this school, and I’d do anything to keep it open for misunderstood kids like myself, but I was flying through the air at 121 miles an hour trying to think of how to adjust my body to land when suddenly my mind shut off completely to show me the new price drop of a roast beef sandwich,” said X-Man team member Angel. “It’s nice that we have this new school supplies thanks to the fast food chain, but on the other hand, most of my dreams are now Arby’s related.”

Arby’s CEO Paul Brown claimed every mutant would eventually be given a role in furthering Arby’s mission. 

“Arby’s is proud to be a primary sponsor of the premiere superhero training schools,” Brown said. “We plan on figuring out a way that each legendary X-Man can serve the Arby’s brand. From having Gambit whip kinetically-charged Meat Mountains at evildoers to utilizing Wolverine’s adamantium claws to slice juicy, razor-thin roast beef for sandwiches, we believe everyone has an important part to play.”

At press time, sources reported that Arby’s was gearing up to ink another lucrative sponsorship with the X-Men, using Professor Xavier’s Cerebro machine to project an Arby’s video into every mind in the nation during next year’s Super Bowl.

Discord User Getting Way Too Personal in #general Right Now

Posted on by Ryan Sims

PHILADELPHIA — Chatters in a local Discord server were subjected to severe social discomfort as user Aaron99 poured his heart out to whoever would listen in the #general channel. 

“I know the server is mainly for indie games, but I don’t see why I couldn’t talk about my problems, too. I’ve been going through a lot lately,” explained the disgruntled Aaron99 via voice chat. “My girlfriend is really pissed at me for spending too much time gaming, even though I keep telling her that indie games are the future of art. Now, she says she doesn’t see a future with me. I asked #general for help, but no one noticed my messages, so I tried posting screenshots of our text conversations to get more eyes on them. Well, everyone completely freaked out at that. Guess this community isn’t so ‘supportive’ after all.”

There were early attempts at making Aaron99 stop, with many users jumping in with random topics to change the subject. Other users posted large jpgs — anything to drown out the awkward written monologue taking place in #general. Eventually, a moderator had to step in.

“First, I tried redirecting him to #venting. I mean, we literally have a channel for this kind of thing. As a mod, I am filled with white hot rage when people don’t post in the right channel. People like Aaron keep me up at night,” wrote longtime Discord moderator Jetta23. “You put all this work into your channel list, and then everyone just posts everything in #general or #off-topic. Which I also tried redirecting him to. Eventually, I had no choice but to time him out for a week. Mind you, he’s not a first offender. He once posted The Last of Us spoilers without a spoiler tag, and then there was that time he broke our streak in #counting. I think he did it on purpose for attention. Some people just can’t be helped.”

Aaron insisted, however, that these misdemeanors were honest mistakes.

“I didn’t break that streak on purpose. I was busy watching porn and had #counting up on my other monitor. I guess I just got distracted. It was a pretty hot scene. That’s another thing my girlfriend gets on me about. She says the porn I watch sets unrealistic expectations of what sex is actually like. I don’t think so, it’s all pretty tame stuff. I just think if she really tried, she would be able to—” said Aaron, before being abruptly banned for breaking Discord’s terms of service.

At time of reporting, the Discord server had returned to normalcy, with users in #general excitedly talking about indie games no one else has heard of, and asking if anyone wants to get on Deep Rock Galactic right now.

8 Ways Elon Musk Plans to Improve Twitter

Posted on by Camden Brazile

Is Twitter getting worse and worse every day? It sure feels like it, these days. But if you’re worried the site is destined to fall apart, fear not! Twitter’s CEO Elon Musk — who purchased the website for $44 billion last year and has lost half of its value since then — is working tirelessly to keep it alive. Here are 8 ways that Elon Musk plans to improve Twitter.

#8 — No water allowed on Twitter premises

#7 — Everyone has to give him $30

#6 — Tweeting “Twitter is thriving” twice a week

#5 — Writing “Twitter = Money” on the Company Whiteboard

#4 — Going bankrupt

#3 — Collaborating with foreign royalty

#2 — Firing everyone at once

#1 — Free hugs for all advertisers

Call of Duty Warzone 2 DMZ REDACTED Faction Missions Guide

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

A new, fifth faction known as REDACTED has been added to the roster in Season 3 of Call of Duty: Warzone 2 DMZ. The highly secretive group centers its objectives around stealth kills, but also on guiding players through the other new features introduced this season, such as Contraband Workbenches, Secure Backpacks, and Secure Supplies Contracts. Read on to find out more about the new DMZ REDACTED faction missions.

REDACTED DMZ Faction Missions in Warzone 2 Season 3

All REDACTED faction missions in Warzone 2 DMZ.

Mission Task Reward
Tier 1    
Upgraded Arsenal
  • Attach a suppressor onto a weapon at a workbench
  • Kill 9 cartel or AQ soldiers with a suppressed weapon
  • Extract with 2 suppressed weapons in one deployment
  • Crane Control Room Key
  • +5000 XP
Dealmaker
  • Store and Electric Drill, a Gas Can, and a Golden Skull in your backpack at the same time
  • Trade for a Secure Backpack at a buy station
  • RAAL MG Contraband Weapon
  • +5000 XP
Cartel Investigation
  • Locate the cartel in Al Mazrah
  • Kill 5 cartel soldiers
  • Find and extract 2 large Contraband Packages
  • Double XP Token
  • +5000 XP
Well Supplied Soldier
  • Acquire a Secure Supplies Contract
  • Complete a Secure Supplies Contract in 2:30 minutes
  • Bryson 800 Contraband Weapon
  • +5000 XP
Calling Card
  • Find and extract 3 Scavenger calling cards
  • Kill the Scavenger
  • Sawah Hotel Room 302 Key (Rare)
  • +5000 XP
Unstoppable Force
  • Destroy 3 vehicles by having the train collide with them
  • X12 Contraband Weapon
  • +5000 XP
Zero Tolerance Unlocked upon completing five of the six Tier 1 REDACTED Missions  
Tier 2 LOCKED LOCKED

Check back here in the coming days for the tasks and rewards for Tiers 2 and 3 as they are unlocked. The DMZ community will have to wait a bit longer for Tiers 4 and 5, which will only be released in a mid-season update.

Need to check up on the Faction Missions for the previous seasons? Check out our guide for that right here.

GTA Online Best Motorcycle Guide: GTA 5 Fastest Motorcycles

Posted on by Noah Hunter

Motorcycles are just one of the many ways you can transport yourself across the vast world of GTA Online. When looking at each of the shops on the storefront, it can be challenging to decide which motorcycle would be best for you. There are plenty that excel in speed, while other excel with mobility and defense. Depending on what you’re looking for, there are even motorcycles that aren’t worth a purchase at all. Since there are so many to choose from, we’ve lined up the best motorcycles money can buy in GTA Online!

Shotaro – Best Motorcycles GTA Online

The Shotaro, one of the GTA Online's best motorcycles.

Ever wanted to ride around in style with one of the bikes from Tron? Now you can! The Shotaro is basically the legendary light cycle from Tron, so you can now speed around GTA Online with one of the most iconic vehicles of all time. While it might not be the fastest or have any meaningful abilities, the striking design of the Shotaro is too good to pass up. The motorcycle actually lights up when you drive it, and you can also purchase a matching outfit to match your vehicle! You’ll be sure to turn heads as you race down the streets of Los Santos.

Hakuchou Drag

The Hakuchou Drag is one of the fastest motorcycles available in GTA Online. The price for this vehicle is just under $1,000,000, however, that price is more than justified when looking at what this bike offers. For time trials, the Drag is a perfect choice to race past all of your competitors. There are multiple upgrades available to increase the performance of this motorcycle, however, those will cost you as they are not cheap at all. If you use the Hakuchou Drag in plenty of races around the map, you could be looking at a nice payout each week.

Oppressor – Fastest Motorcycles in GTA Online

The Oppressor Mk I is, simply put, one of the fastest motorcycles available in GTA Online. Its speeds easily tops almost all of its competition, even that of the Oppressor Mk II. The neat feature with the Oppressor is the ability to fly and use a boost to gain height. The motorcycle has wings on the back of it that allow it to glide through the air. Additionally, this motorcycle has homing missiles that you can use against any aerial or ground vehicles. While this is a great option for those looking for a sweet deal, we wouldn’t recommend purchasing this motorcycle over the upgraded model, the Oppressor Mk II, as it is better than the original model in plenty of ways.

Western Reever

The Western Reever has the fastest speed out of any motorcycle in GTA Online. Additionally, the acceleration is also the fastest, meaning you’ll be able to speed ahead of any threats in a heartbeat. If you end up buying this motorcycle, be sure to tune it up and upgrade some of its features to increase the traction. You’ll want to do this as it doesn’t handle as smoothly as some of the other motorcycles on the list. For a whopping $1,900,000, you can purchase the blazing fast Reever at Legendary Motorsport.

Oppressor Mk II – GTA Online Best Motorcycle

The Oppressor Mk II is the go-to motorcycle for plenty of players in GTA Online. This vehicle is even the standard over plenty of cars, which says a lot about its abilities. It builds upon the original Oppressor, adding the ability to fully hover and fly in the air at all times without ever having to touch the ground. This can be game changing if you’re looking to fight other players or complete various missions throughout Los Santos. Also, it has flares and smoke that can deter missiles if you ever find yourself in a sticky situation. Overall, this is the best motorcycle you can purchase in GTA Online by far.

Looking for more of the best features of GTA Online? Check out the following guides!

GTA Online Best Helicopter Guide: GTA V Best Helicopters 2023

Posted on by Noah Hunter

In GTA Online, there are countless different helicopters that you can either unlock or purchase. Only selecting one of these can be quite challenging, especially as they vary in speed, reliability, and weapons. These sorts of things are extremely important whether you’re completing missions, attacking enemies in your lobby, or anything of the sort. With so many options to choose from, we’ve narrowed down the best helicopters money can buy in GTA Online.

There are two separate places you can purchase helicopters in GTA Online. The first is Warstock Carry & Cache, which has helis that are armored and ready to attack the air space. These will be loaded with machine guns, missiles, and things of that nature. The other options is the Elitas Travel storefront, where your standard and luxurious rides await. While these might not have weapons, speed will be a main focus here. Helicopters from both of these stores are included below, so choose the best one for your situation!

GTA Online Best Helicopters: Savage

The Savage is a great upper middle ground attack helicopter that comes equipped with plenty of weaponry. While it isn’t too cheap at $2,600,000, it has both homing missiles and explosive guns. These cam come in extremely handy in battle, especially if you utilize the hover mode that is available with this chopper. This will allow you to hover in place and fire on enemies either below or in the air around you, which gives you a huge advantage overall in the airspace.

Volatus

One of the best helicopters in GTA Online, the Volatus.

If you’re looking for luxury, look no further than the Volatus. This is the nicest helicopter you can buy in GTA Online, as it operates as one of the fastest helis in the game. Additionally, it has a very sleek design that anyone in your online lobby would be jealous of. If you’re looking to take it into battle though, you might want to look somewhere else as the Volatus does not have any weaponry or armor onboard. However, if you’re just looking to fuel your inner CEO, this is the perfect helicopter for you in GTA Online.

Sparrow

The Sparrow is a helicopter that will require an additional purchase, however, it comes in so much use when working on multiple heists. It only will cost you $1,800,000, however, you will also need to have the Submarine purchased for this to be available for purchase. Once it is though, you will have the ability to utilize the Sparrow on the Cayo Perico Heist, which will grant you the ability to rotate in and out of the island much quicker than any boat could. While it might not be the best helicopter for roaming around the world of GTA Online, it does have a great use for the Cayo Perico Heist that earns you plenty of cash.

Akula

If you’re looking to spend big bucks on the best armored helicopter in the game, then the Akula is the perfect helicopter for you. This $3,700,000 heli is the best pick for anyone looking to be best equipped for fighting. Equipped with a massive amount of armor, it will take a lot to get this helicopter to fall to the ground. Additionally, one of the exclusive features for this heli is the ability to utilize a stealth mode, which removes yourself from the map. Normally, players will be able to see a helicopter or plane icon if you’re flying, however, this vehicle has the ability to cloak yourself, so others won’t be able to spot you.

Buzzard – Best Helicopter in GTA Online

The Buzzard, the best helicopter in GTA Online.

The Buzzard is the most convenient and best overall helicopter available to purchase in GTA Online. One of the main reasons why it is so high on this list is that it can spawn in incredibly fast compared to any other helicopter on this list. If you register as a CEO, you will be able to immediately spawn in a Buzzard to your location. This ability has come in incredibly handy too many times to count, especially considering the Buzzard is armed. On the chopper, you have access to both machine guns and homing missiles, which makes for the perfect counter to pesky other players in your online lobby. At the $1,700,000 price tag, this helicopter in GTA Online is more than worth it for the perks.

Looking for more of the best features of GTA Online? Check out the following guides!

GTA Online Best Nightclub Guide: GTA 5 Best Nightclub Locations

Posted on by Noah Hunter

Nightclubs can offer you a nice and steady source of income in GTA Online. The greatest feature of the nightclub is that it earns passive, which means you don’t actually have to be present at the location to be earning money. You could be working on Heists, flying a plane, or even gambling at the Diamond Casino and it will still earn money passively. There are a total of ten different nightclubs you can purchase around the map, but which ones are best? We’ve got you covered with the GTA Online nightclubs that are worth your hard-earned cash.

Del Perro Nightclub

The Del Perro Nightclub is a great option if you’re looking for a nightclub with optimal location. Priced at $1,645,000, this property has everything you inside a sleek building. For starters, you are able to hold up to 36 different vehicles in this nightclub, which is a huge plus if you’re someone who has a ton of different cars. Additionally, it is close to the West side of the map. This can be super handy if you’ve got either a Bunker, Hangar, or Facility.

West Vinewood Nightclub (Best Nightclub Locations GTA Online)

The West Vinewood Nightclub has one of the best locations in the entire game. At $1,700,000, this is a property that you’ll need quite a bit of cash to invest in. The exterior of this club has beautiful artwork in the form of a mural, which is something that the other nightclubs don’t have. Additionally, you are located at the very north of the city. This is right by the Diamond Casino and puts you right about in the center of the entirety of Los Santos.

Los Santos International Airport Nightclub

This nightclub can be extremely convenient if you’re a frequent flyer. Located at Los Santos International Airport, this property might not be the prettiest, but the location is extremely easy to get to. This is a property you can expect to earn you a nice chunk of passive income, especially if you upgrade it and regularly drop by. This nightclub is priced at $1,135,000, which again, is cheap compared to the other locations on this list.

Strawberry Nightclub

Depending on where your other businesses are located, the Strawberry nightclub might be the best GTA Online nightclub option out of all of the nightclubs in this list. It is right next to one of the main highways in the game, which means easy access to obtain all of the cash in the safe. You can expect this location to cost you though, as this will be priced at $1,525,000. If you don’t have any businesses near this location, it might be best to skip on this one.

Downtown Vinewood – Best GTA Online Nightclub Location

Downtown Vinewood, the GTA Online best nightclub location.

The Downtown Vinewood location is another great option for those looking for optimal nightclubs. It is priced at $1,670,000 on Maze Bank Foreclosure, which is right around the top end of the available nightclubs in GTA Online. If you’re deciding between the West Vinewood and Downtown Vinewood locations, make sure to think about what properties you have around the map. Downtown Vinewood is placed a bit more to the east. When traveling quickly between businesses, even little distances like this can matter to some, so do be sure to pick whichever you feel is best for you. Like the others on this list, Downtown Vinewood also has the ability to store 36 cars in its garage.

Looking for more of the best features of GTA Online? Check out the following guides!

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