June 17, 2022 Game You Spent 27 Hours Downloading Sucks Ass Game You Spent 27 Hours Downloading Sucks Ass NEW ORLEANS — A Knight’s Wish, the ambitious RPG that you spent over an actual day downloading, actually kind of sucks cock, sources have confirmed. …
June 11, 2022 “I Would Totally Watch This,” Comments Lying Dipshit on Parody Trailer “I Would Totally Watch This,” Comments Lying Dipshit on Parody Trailer CHICAGO — A huge liar has recently commented on a parody internet trailer that they would watch the fictional film being advertised if it were…
April 30, 2022 Pokémon Unaffected By ‘Attract’ Spends Turn Questioning Sexual Identity Pokémon Unaffected By ‘Attract’ Spends Turn Questioning Sexual Identity ROUTE 124, Hoenn — A local Slowpoke nicknamed Doodoohead has reportedly entered an extreme state of confusion regarding his sexual identity after being unaffected by…
March 15, 2022 Dumbass Poser Actually Likes Pikachu Dumbass Poser Actually Likes Pikachu MADISON, Wisc. — Receiving widespread ridicule from other Pokémon fans who openly pitied such a basic Pokémon choice, local 7-year-old poser has been outed as…
March 14, 2022 Creepypasta About Haunted Video Game Just Someone Playing ‘Sonic Forces’ Creepypasta About Haunted Video Game Just Someone Playing ‘Sonic Forces’ TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — A controversial post at the top r/creepypasta has divided readers, some of whom believe that the details of the glitches encountered by…
February 9, 2022 $150 Million Advertising Investment Pays Off as First Person Downloads ‘Raid: Shadow Legends’ $150 Million Advertising Investment Pays Off as First Person Downloads ‘Raid: Shadow Legends’ CALDWELL, N.J. — Plarium Games employees celebrated today, when three years after its release, and at a cost of $150 million in advertising, the first…
January 14, 2022 Creators Confirm Phineas & Ferb Could Have Cured HIV Whenever Creators Confirm Phineas & Ferb Could Have Cured HIV Whenever NEW YORK — During a Q&A panel at the Paley Center for Media, the creative team behind the Disney Channel series Phineas & Ferb agreed…
January 12, 2022 BREAKING: Flamethrower Guy Has Thing on His Back You Can Shoot BREAKING: Flamethrower Guy Has Thing on His Back You Can Shoot JUST OUTSIDE THE CAPITOL — Reconnaissance from the makeshift battlefield has confirmed that the guy with the huge flamethrower just wrecking all of us right…
January 11, 2022 First Edition Card Has Seen Some Shit First Edition Card Has Seen Some Shit SAN FRANCISCO — A rare, first edition printing of the Magic: the Gathering card Time Walk recently posted on eBay has quite clearly seen some…
“I Would Totally Watch This,” Comments Lying Dipshit on Parody Trailer
CHICAGO — A huge liar has recently commented on a parody internet trailer that they would watch the fictional film being advertised if it were…