Kid in Hospital Uses Visit from Avengers Cast to Blast Jeremy Renner for Piss-Poor Portrayal of Hawkeye

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — During a charity visit to a St. Jude’s children hospital, the star-studded cast of the Marvel Cinematic Universe reported that local sick child, nine-year-old Billy Ryans, primarily used the visit to lay into Jeremy Renner for his poor portrayal of the comic book archer Hawkeye.

“Well, well, well,” Ryans began grandly. “Look who it is. I was wondering when you would drag your sorry ass in here. Everyone, thank you for your visit, it’s nice to see you, but Thor, Hulk, Cap, you may leave. I need to have a word with Jeremy here. Notice, Mr. Renner, that I did not address you by your character’s name; this is very intentional. I know I’m expected to ask you all questions about your heroic adventures and you respond in character, but I only have this to ask: did you think you would get away with it? Your pathetic, miserably contrived portrayal of Hawkeye was the worst thing I’ve seen since the lab results that put me in this hospital. 

Renner said that the tirade was completely unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome.

“He had me fucking pegged, I’ve never been torn a new one like that before,” a quivering Renner told reporters. “I got all dressed up with my vest and my bow, and that little kid just started reducing me to nothing in front of all the other ICU patients. I’ve never received that kind of feedback in my life, and while it was incredibly demeaning, it was also kind of exciting. If Billy responds well to treatment, he’ll be my first call as my next acting coach.

At press time, Ryans’ condition had reportedly worsened, and sources reported that the nine year old used his dying words to curse Paul Rudd.

Archeologists Uncover Christ’s Adamantium Skeleton

QUMRAN, West Bank — Archeologists digging in the Qumran caves made a shocking discovery when they unearthed the intact adamantium skeleton of religious leader Jesus of Nazareth.

Reportedly weighing over 100 pounds, the skeleton is made of a nearly indestructible metal alloy that allowed it to stay in near mint condition for the roughly 2,000 years since Christ’s death. Excavators used crowbars to dismantle a beautifully carpentered box containing the skeleton, noting that the container had been inscribed in Aramaic, “I’ll be back for this later.”

“The metal skeleton that Christ used to achieve his amazing miracles had long been rumored,” remarked Chief Archaeologist, Dr. Yosef Peretz, “but never did we expect to find the genuine article before us. Note the hydro-lift footpads that allowed him to walk on water, and the carbonadium tentacles housed within each arm for transforming liquids into wine. I assume the skeleton’s retractable claws were used for slicing loaves and fishes, not for anything sinister.”

Christians on social media responded with fearsome debate about the discovery, some claiming that the “Prince of Peace” would never have assimilated his body with an instrument of war. But theologian and Jesuit priest, Fr. Paul Harrington, believes that though these findings may be shocking, they are wholeheartedly supported by the scripture.

“If Christ could fuse metal to his bones in a time before painkillers, is this not evidence of his Godly healing factor? How else could he have healed the sick, raised the dead, or self-resurrected?” Fr. Harrington mused. “And to the doubting Thomases among us, do you not recall the moment when Jesus discovered the merchants and money changers in the Temple and chased them in fury? Does this tale not warn us of his berserker rage?”

Despite the historic nature of the discovery, Dr. Peretz refuses to rest on his laurels. He remains confident that the Qumran caves still have mysteries to unearth.

“The Dead Sea Scrolls indicate that there may be remnants of the techno-organic wings used by the Archangel while he served as a Horseman of Death for Apocalypse,” Dr. Peretz explained. “My goal is to dig up enough of these relics to form a team of super archeologists, and just like the Lord Jesus Christ often said: ‘I’m the best there is at what I do.’”

Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2 Beta: How & When To Play

Starting September 16, the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 beta is underway. During this period, players can get their hands on the game a bit early, and get used to the new multiplayer experience before the game’s official release on October 28. However, like many games, the beta period of Call of Duty: MW2 has a bit of a confusing rollout. Luckily, this quick breakdown will have you and your friends in the game in no time.

Call of Duty MW2 Beta Info (Week 1)

A schedule of the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Beta.

The Modern Warfare 2 beta is split into two different time periods: Week 1 and Week 2. Week 1 is entirely exclusive to PlayStation players on both PS4 & PS5. The first two days, September 16 & 17, is for PlayStation early access. This means the beta is open for players who have either pre-ordered the game, or gotten lucky in a giveaway. These giveaways are being performed by the company’s various social media channels (like the Call of Duty Twitter account, if you were lucky).

The next two days, September 18-20, will be an open period for PlayStation players. The beta will be available to download on the PlayStation Store. This will be playable during both Week 1 and Week 2 of the beta period.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Beta (Week 2)

In Week 2 of the Modern Warfare 2 beta, the other platforms finally get involved. September 22 & 23 is early access for PC (Battle.net & Steam) & Xbox (Series X/S & Xbox One) players. The same thing is true of this early access as the PlayStation early access: the only way in is a pre-order or promotion. Keep your eye on Activision-Blizzard social media to see if you can snag a chance for a code. Starting on September 22, all PlayStation players can also participate in the beta.

September 24-26 are the final three days of the beta period. All players can download the beta and play until September 26.

That is all the info we know about for the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 beta! Hopefully, even if you don’t get lucky enough to have an early access code, you still get plenty of time to get used to the feel of this new game, the second game called Call of Duty: MW2!

Delusional Gamer Swears New Halo Game Came Out Last Year

BUFFALO, N.Y. —  A wildly delusional gamer has concerned his group of friends by repeatedly insisting that a new Halo game came out just last year, sources have confirmed. 

“It did, I swear it,” said Ricky Rupert, of the alleged new Halo installment that came out last year. “It was called Infinite and it had free multiplayer and samurai outfits and they promised a lot more stuff would be coming soon. I played it with some of you guys, I can’t believe you don’t remember!” 

Despite Rupert’s pleas and shared remembrances, friends of his didn’t believe his claims. 

“Uh, okay my guy, I’m pretty sure If a new Halo game came out in the last few months of 2021, we’d still be playing it,” said Russ Beeler, a friend of Rupert’s. “Or I at least would have heard about some new stuff coming for it, or I don’t know, anything at all. He swears it launched with a free multiplayer and was called Halo: Infinite. Quarantine affected us all differently, man. My poor friend. I just googled ‘Halo Infinte forge mode’ and couldn’t find any evidence of that ever having existed.” 

Experts maintain that Rupert’s bizarre claims aren’t entirely unfounded. 

“On one hand, absolutely no one knows what he’s talking about,” said Laura Eaves, a games journalist. “On the other hand, if you look at the packaging of the Xbox Series X, it quite clearly has Master Chief on there. So this tells me and my peers that they at least intended to release a Halo game for the system at some point. It’s entirely possible that some sort of demo build or prototype made it out into the wild and into this guy’s hands, but very very unlikely.” 

“He’s probably just full of shit,” she added. “Honestly, I think that Master Chief is from Fortnite.

As of press time, Rupert was being taken away by state authorities while he loudly insisted that Halo: Infinite would be entering its third season next March. 

Upcoming Nintendo Game Lets You Grow and Harvest New Farming Simulators

REDMOND, Wash. Nintendo has previewed an upcoming simulation game that will task you with planting, growing, and harvesting various games that allow you to build and tend to a farm, sources have confirmed. 

“We think this is the exact game Nintendo fans are clamoring for,” said Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser, in a surprise Nintendo Direct uploaded earlier today. “After we saw the positive response to announcing a bunch of farming games earlier in the week, we thought we’d go ahead and peel back the curtain on one of our biggest upcoming games: Farmafarm. There are a lot of farming games, but this is the only one that lets you grow fields of them!” 

The developers behind Farmafarm were eager to show off their upcoming title. 

“Just like our peers, we’ve been working on this thing since shortly after we first played Stardew Valley,” said Lee Denning, director of Farmafarm. “And while we know there’s a lot of competition in the farming game genre as of late, our angle of letting you actually plant and grow all kinds of different little farming games puts us out ahead of Fae Farm, Rune Factory 3 Special, Harvestella, Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life, Mario Farm, FarmGo, Nintendo Farming Sports, and Breath of the Harvest 2, in my opinion.”

Gamers were mostly excited to hear of yet another upcoming farming RPG. 

“I was a little intimidated when I watched that Nintendo Direct and there were a half dozen farming games that looked kinda fun,” said Gary Sledge, a local gamer. “But it sounds like Farmafarm will let me play dozens of different variations on the old Harvest Moon formula all in one game! So that’s gonna save me like a few hundred bucks on farm games, easily. Farmafarm’s the game of the year at this point.” 

Farmafarm will be released later this year on October 28th, the same day as Farming Simulator 23 and Professor Layton Retires and Buys A Farm.  

Exhausted Racist Wishes Black Little Mermaid and Lord of the Rings Characters Were Spaced Out More

BOISE, Idaho — Local racist Gary Limlett lamented today that with both a black Little Mermaid and black characters in Lord of the Rings, he has been incredibly overworked online.

“Guys, come on, give me some time off,” Limlett said. “I can only be bigoted at one thing at a time here. I’m running myself ragged having to tweet slurs at the cast of The Little Mermaid and drafting my manifesto about The Rings of Power  at the same time. I’m doing as best I can, but between all this and my secret all-white militia meetings I just have no time left in the day.”

“There’s just too much TV these days, with all these streaming services,” Limlett explained. “I haven’t even had the time to dig into all the things I’m supposed to be racist about with House of the Dragon and I’ve heard that’s really juicy! Who has the time?”

Fellow racist Darrell Kennedy weighed in on the increasing burden to the racist community.

“This is just what they want, they planned this,” Kennedy posted anonymously online. “I’m so split over both of these things, I can’t even decide who to mail a pipe bomb to. It’s just like when I slipped on that puddle last week: all black people’s fault.”

Limlett also provided insight into his now cramped schedule.

“I’m forced to be racist round-the-clock now,” Limlett said. “Before I could just be racist in my free time or when provoked by say, a latino person being my waiter, but now it’s become a full-time gig. It’s not easy, but it’s my cross to bear, specifically the cross carried by Caucasian Jesus.”

At press time, Limlett reportedly collapsed from fatigue after a new teaser trailer for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever debuted online later that day.

All Splatoon 3 Hairstyles: Inklings, Octolings, & Smallfry

Fashion is one of the most, if not the most important part of Splatoon. In-lore, Inklings are always trying to look “fresher” than their peers. It’s a compelling feature: you may as well look nice while taunting the enemy team on the victory screen. For Splatoon, fashion means a personalized setup of shirt, headgear, shoes, and shorts, but the characters’ weird ink-tentacle hair also comes in a variety of styles. It’s not always visible if your hat is big enough, but all the hairstyle options are available from the start, making this a quick and easy way to personalize without spending $500 on a pair of sunglasses. Here are all the Splatoon 3 hairstyles for Inklings. There are sixteen, and they can be changed at any time from the equip menu. I’ll model them for you next to this pile of garbage.

splatoon 3 inkling hair 1

splatoon 3 inkling hair 2

splatoon 3 inkling hair 3

splatoon 3 inkling hair 4

splatoon 3 inkling hair 5
This is the original Inkling Girl hairstyle from Splatoon 1.
splatoon 3 inkling hair 6
This is the original Inkling Boy.

splatoon 3 inkling hair 7

splatoon 3 inkling hair 8

splatoon 3 inkling hair 9

splatoon 3 inkling hair 10

splatoon 3 inkling hair 11

splatoon 3 inkling hair 12

splatoon 3 inkling hair 13

splatoon 3 inkling hair 14

splatoon 3 inkling hair 15

splatoon 3 inkling hair 16

All Octoling Hairstyles

And here are all the Splatoon 3 hairstyles for Octolings. Their tentacles are different from Inklings, so they get a completely different set of hairstyles. They’re also newer, so they don’t have as many options: Eight, appropriately enough.

If you picked Inkling at the start of the game and want to play with this extra set of styles, don’t worry: it’s possible to change your race to Octoling from the Options menu (not the Equip menu). There’s an “extras” button that will let you run through character creation again with no penalty.

splatoon 3 octoling hair 1

splatoon 3 octoling hair 2

splatoon 3 octoling hair 3

splatoon 3 octoling hair 4

splatoon 3 octoling hair 5
This is the original Octoling girl design from Splatoon 2.
splatoon 3 octoling hair 1
This is the original Octoling Boy.

splatoon 3 octoling hair 7

splatoon 3 octoling hair 8

Splatoon 3: Smallfry’s Hairstyles

And, for completion’s sake, here are the seven hairstyle options available for your Smallfry friend. You can change this along with your startup character creation.

splatoon 3 smallfry hair 1 splatoon 3 smallfry hair 2 splatoon 3 smallfry hair 3 splatoon 3 smallfry hair 4

splatoon 3 smallfry hair 5
“I demand to speak with your manager”

splatoon 3 smallfry hair 6 splatoon 3 smallfry hair 7

It’s always possible that more hairstyles will be added to Splatoon 3 later. It’s a pretty frequent request. For now, though, we don’t know about any plans to add more. It’s safest to assume this will be the whole selection.

Feeding Your Cult in Cult of the Lamb

Cutesy cult manager Cult of the Lamb asks its players an important question: what would it be like if you constantly did terrible things to people who trust you? As it turns out, there are certain grievances no brainwashed follower can abide, such as starving to death. Cultists in-game have no way to feed themselves, meaning players have to prepare meals and, more crucially, maintain a stockpile of food. Feeding your cult is an early challenge for new players.

Luckily, the game includes a wide variety of resources to help provide food for your stupid, stupid followers. Here are some of the best.

Cult of the Lamb: Farming For (The Benefit Of) Dummies

cult of the lamb cooking menu
Different foods have different pros and cons, but you can’t be too picky when you’re starving.

The simplest way to feed your people is with a big enough farm. Farm buildings can and should be unlocked early, and added gradually as your cult grows. That’s not enough by itself, though, especially early on. Rushing to set up farmland while your cultists are starving is not going to work. Cultists won’t even harvest the crops they grow without a mid-tier unlock. You have to do it yourself for a while. Watch for a little star sign below a fully-grown plant to get the best return.

Fully established farms with all the bells and whistles are extremely powerful and nearly essential for late-game, which eventually requires the player to have twenty followers at once. It’s possible to fast-track farm development by focusing on farm building unlocks, and by opening late doors early. Later dungeons contain more nutritious crops, and even a short trip inside can net you a seed that can be endlessly re-used to feed your cult.

Forage Ahead in Cult of the Lamb

cult of the lamb fishing minigame
Hope you’re okay with some Stardew Valley fishing.

If you need food quickly in the early game, foraging is your best option. Simply choose dungeon routes that lead through the food symbol (or through the house symbol with a food symbol below it). There’s a little risk involved, though. In order to return with the grub, you have to beat the boss at the end of the route. Dying and respawning at the cult is also an option, but that makes you drop some loot and comes with a faith penalty.

Progressing too quickly can also be trouble. The Bishops will appear during your crusades and curse your followers. Heket, the second, can drop a truly nasty mass starvation on your whole cult, which is not ideal if you set out to gather food.

A better reason to push ahead in the action sections is to unlock extra locations. Progressing through the first zone, Darkwood, will unlock Pilgrim’s Path. That’s the best spot for takeout: you can freely fish there! Fish are more filling than early game crops. Plus, catching all four types of special fish unlocks a new fleece, and the ability to buy from the local fisherman. If you’ve been extorting your followers, this is an easy way to convert gold to food.

Expert Mode: Not Feeding Your Cult

cult of the lamb ritual of fasting
Gotta go fast.

If you just can’t shake the hunger, the strongest countermeasure is the Sustenance branch of the Doctrine choices. It might not sound as dramatic as Afterlife or Law & Order, but putting your first couple of Doctrines into humble Sustenance gives you the tools to fight hunger without much trouble.

The first is a choice between cannibalism and grass-eating. Cannibalism sounds fun, but it’s most useful as a special treat to boost your cult’s mood. There’s usually not enough murder for cultist meat to be a reliable dinner. Grass, on the other hand, is as common as you’d expect (and in-character for a religion founded by a sheep). Being able to freely eat grass is an excellent stopgap.

The second Sustenance Doctrine choice is a big one: A ritual of either feasting, or fasting. Rituals are powerful cooldown abilities consuming the bones of one’s enemies. The feasting ritual is a good panic button for a hungry cult, since it restores all hunger completely without actually consuming any food.

Paradoxically, however, the Ritual of Fasting is the strongest hunger-meter effect in the whole game. It completely shuts down the need to eat for three in-game days. It’s perfect to use before a foraging crusade, removing the need for babysitting. Plus, low-quality foods can cause filth and disease, so cultists who don’t eat are a little cleaner than normal. The ritual even prevents Heket’s mass famine from causing harm! Fasting does tend to make your cultists a little unhappy, but the benefits far outweigh the costs – just be aware it keeps you from feeding your followers anything at all for those three days, including mood-boosting cultist meat.

Feeding Your Cult: In Summary

cult of the lamb spider catcher
The average cultist eats ten thousand spiders a day in their sleep.

There are a few extra techniques that can help feed your cult. Release your inner Animal Crossing and catch the spiders that appear at night: they convert into morsels of meat. Forage for berries in unlocked areas when they’re available. If you’ve already researched the farm, unlock a missionary as well, and send your people on a quest for meat. If they don’t survive the trip, at least that’s one less mouth to feed.

The most important Cult of the Lamb hunger staving technique, however, is a lesson taught in similar-themed games such as Darkest Dungeon: your cultists don’t matter very much. Let ’em starve to death a little. It’s no big deal. Your buildings and unlocks are what matter most, and they’re permanent. Followers are cheap, sometimes literally discounted for quick sale. As The One Who Waits will tell you, the cult is your tool; be careful not to become a tool of your cult.

Best Gizmo MultiVersus Combos, Strategies, Moves, & Perks

The first of two Gremlins representatives coming to MultiVersus‘ first season, Gizmo released on September 8. Gizmo is a Support character who has a wealth of projectiles and effects at his disposal. From his bow & arrow to his toy car, here are the best ways to maximize Gizmo’s potential.

New MultiVersus Status Effect: Gizmo’s Silence

Two Gizmos in the training room with music notes above them.

A new status effect was added to the game along with Gizmo: silence. Using various attacks, like Neutral Special and Down Ground Attack, Gizmo creates music notes. These notes have different effects depending on if they hit allies or enemies.

When allies get hit by music notes, they get a buff that can stack up to three times. This buff makes music effects emerge from allies when they dodge. If enemies are in the range of this music effect, it will give them one stack of the silence debuff.

When enemies get hit by music notes (or the ally buff effect), they will get one stack of silence. Eight stacks of this effect will temporarily silence the enemy. Silenced enemies can’t use any abilities that rely on cooldown. This can be a good counter for characters like Morty and Bugs Bunny, who have a wealth of cooldown moves.

Gizmo Moveset Overview – Standard Attacks

Gizmo wielding a bow in the training room.

As a Support character, most of Gizmo’s moves revolve around bolstering his teammates. However, he also has some moves to help shut down the current projectile-heavy meta. Here are the furball’s standard, aerial, and special attacks:

  • Neutral Ground Attack: Gizmo nocks an arrow in his bow and charges. While holding the input, Gizmo can strafe & jump. If charged enough, the arrow will become a flame arrow and ignite enemies on impact. Dodging while charging the arrow will store the charge for future use. Gizmo has 4 arrows at a time, each with a short cooldown. If Gizmo hits the opponent with a flame arrow, one arrow is instantly replenished.
  • Side Ground Attack: A three-hit combo of a punch, headbutt, and dropkick. The headbutt and dropkick move Gizmo forward.
  • Up Ground Attack: Gizmo charges an upward arc swipe with a popcorn tub. A popcorn ball projectile comes out of the tub. This popcorn will cause an explosion if ignited. Naturally pairs well with Gizmo’s Neutral Ground/Air Attacks.
  • Down Ground Attack: Gizmo slams his keyboard. The slam causes armor break to enemies in close range. The attack also releases music note projectiles on his left & right, which give a stack of silence to enemies.
  • Neutral Air Attack: Same as Neutral Ground Attack.
  • Side Air Attack: Gizmo charges a forward swing. A basic attack, but a powerful knockout tool.
  • Up Air Attack: A two-swipe combo. Another good knockout move at high percentages.
  • Down Air Attack: A three-stomp combo move. Can also be charged for more power.

Gizmo MultiVersus Moveset Overview – Special Attacks

Gizmo riding in his car.

  • Neutral Special: Gizmo summons music notes to apply a music buff to allies, or silence debuff to enemies. When on the ground, these notes go right above him. But if you use Neutral Special in the air, the notes will go forward. These notes can be attached to Gizmo’s projectiles, like from his Neutral and Up Ground Attack to hit enemies with the music.
  • Side Special (Ground): Gizmo summons his car and drives around. Press the input again to do a wheelie and damage enemies. Gizmo can jump out of the car while it’s moving to use the car’s momentum as an edge guarding tool.
  • Side Special (Aerial): Gizmo dashes forward with an umbrella, blocking projectiles. Then, you can hold the input to keep Gizmo floating.
  • Up Special: Gizmo dashes upwards and homes in on other characters. If the nearest is an enemy, Gizmo dashes to them and deals damage, bouncing upwards after the hit. If the nearest is an ally, Gizmo gets in a backpack with them. While in the backpack, Gizmo can use moves like his Down SpecialNeutral Attack, and Up Ground Attack while being sheltered by his teammate. The initial backpack effect also cleanses Gizmo’s ally of any debuffs.
  • Down Special (Ground): Gizmo takes shelter in his box, which blocks projectiles. If he is in the backpack with an ally, he can give them the same effect using his umbrella.
  • Down Special (Aerial): In the air, Gizmo’s Down Special becomes a butt slam. This slam also detonates Gizmo’s popcorn or car if the signature perk Bounce, Bounce, Boom is equipped.

Gizmo’s Best Basic Combos

Gizmo using his up air attack in the training room.

Even as a support character, Gizmo can start some combos against his enemies. By no means is he a brawler, but you can use these combos to mix up enemies as everyone’s favorite Mogwai. Use his wealth of projectiles and your ally to extend these combos even further.

  • Down Air into Up Air: A basic combo that works with most characters, and Gizmo is no exception. The Down Air is a three-hit attack, but hitting the final one is really the only important one to get the subsequent Up Air attack. The second hit of Up Air has decent knockback, making this a potential option for knockouts.
  • Down Air into Up Special: Similar to up air, but with a bit of a different twist. While Up Air can keep Gizmo close to the enemy, Up Special puts him further away. This allows for projectile follow-ups instead of close combat, which may be a better option depending on the situation.
  • Side Ground Attack (Hit 1) into Neutral Ground Attack: This is a good way to use the beginning of Gizmo’s jab to get some damage on an enemy. After the first hit of Side Ground Attack, use Neutral Ground to shoot the opponent with a bow. This is even better if an arrow is already charged and ignited to get some bonus flame damage.

Winning 1v1 MultiVersus Battles As Gizmo

Gizmo celebrating a one-on-one victory.

As a support character, Gizmo isn’t very viable in solos. His distance attacks are good for tacking on damage, and his abilities focus on helping out teammates. Because of this, he struggles to get knockouts in solo matchups.

Gizmo’s best chance to knocking out the competition is by getting the enemy’s damage high. Then, try to get your rival eliminated by using his Up Air or Down Air Attack near the top or bottom of the blast zone, respectively. Again, Gizmo in one-on-one battles will be fighting an incredibly uphill fight. Be creative with tacking on damage and you may be able to sneak out wins.

Gizmo Teams Strategies In MultiVersus

Gizmo celebrating a Teams win.

As a support character, Gizmo works best on a team. He has various abilities that you can use to your advantage to enhance your team. These will work especially well with Tanks and Bruisers. Skillful use of these will be key for your team’s victory.

First, pay attention to your teammates’ debuffs. If a stack is getting close to completing, like on Taz’s chicken or an enemy Gizmo’s silence, use Gizmo’s Up Special. This will cleanse the debuff stack and save your teammate from any of the myriad of debuffs in MultiVersus. It can also be helpful to temporarily get Gizmo out of harm’s way. It specifically may be worth using in a game point situation where Gizmo is at high damage, but his teammate at low.

During the bulk of combat, stay toward the backlines. Try to set up Gizmo’s popcorn ball using Ground Up Attack and hit it with the arrow. This is Gizmo’s best way to deal heavy damage, in addition to being one of his best knockout techniques. Just keep in mind that only two popcorn clusters can be active at a time.

Gizmo’s Best Perks

Gizmo on the perk selection screen.

Gizmo has a set of perks that aligns pretty closely with the meta. However, there are also a couple that help enhance his projectile potential. Here is the best set of perks to use with Gizmo:

  • Make It Rain, Dog! (unlocked at level 4)
  • Triple Jump (unlocked at level 11)
  • Deadshot (unlocked at level 13)
  • Bounce, Bounce, Boom! (unlocked at level 8)

To enhance projectiles, equipping Deadshot and Make It Rain, Dog! will increase the damage and speed, respectively, of Gizmo’s projectiles. Then, Triple Jump will help increase Gizmo’s mobility in the air, possibly leading to better kills with his Up Air Attack. Finally, his best signature perk is Bounce, Bounce, Boom! This signature perk allows Gizmo to detonate popcorn clusters and his car with his Aerial Down Special. This leads to even more utility and ways for Gizmo to mix up enemies with his tricky moveset.

Overall, Gizmo is very similar to his MultiVersus predecessor, Morty. Both rely on good teammates to allow them to work with projectiles. However, Gizmo differs by leaning more heavily into being a Support. With the right teammate at his side, Gizmo could help bolster his partner into a force to be reckoned with.

How to Improve at Using Brush Weapons in Splatoon 3

Brush weapons in Splatoon 3 are perhaps the most fitting weapons for this game while functioning unlike any weapon in other shooters. After all, this is a game where you paint the world, why not use a paintbrush to execute that task? That being said, its unique playstyle also makes it a tricky weapon to master, and that’s what we’re here to help with.

This guide breaks down the basics and everything you need to know to take advantage of the brush weapons in Splatoon 3 and color away the competition.

How to Use Brush Weapons in Splatoon 3

Brushes in Splatoon 3 function differently than conventional weapons, and require fast reactions and a rapid fire trigger finger for success. Pressing the ZR button will swipe the brush in front of you, sending ink out in front of your Inkling or Octoling in an arc around the player. However, you must repeatedly tap the fire button in order to keep firing the weapon, and the faster you press the button, the faster you fire ink from the ends of your brush. Being able to rapid-fire the brush for multiple seconds in the heat of battle is necessary to use this weapon, making it a more intense choice compared to other weapons.

The weapon does have other advantages, however. Typically, simply walking with the Octoling or Inkling will be slow, but you won’t always have ink in front of you to swim, such as walking over grates. Pressing and holding ZR will allow you to run forwards with the brush. This won’t be the most effective way of painting the ground, as it will only paint a brief strip on the ground as you move. However, for traversing over areas that can’t be inked, or through areas of enemy ink to make a dash for safety or the heat of the action, this is a useful ability giving brush players in Splatoon 3 additional options to engage in combat.

What are the Different Types of Brushes Available?

As of Splatoon 3’s launch there are just two brushes available to use. These are:

  • Octobrush (Unlocked at Level 4)
  • Inkbrush (Unlocked at Level 7)

The key differences between these two brushes comes in their speed and range of attacks. Inkbrush allows you to swipe your brush at a far faster rate and move with more speed and control when running with the weapon compared to the Octobrush. However, the Octobrush has the advantage of being a stronger weapon, offering a broader attack radius when swiping the brush, with this attack also dealing more damage.

The biggest difference comes in their special abilities, each of which encourage their own play style depending on the weapon chosen. The Inkbrush’s speed of attack and Killer Wail 5.1 special makes it a weapon geared towards Turf War and covering the arena with your ink to charge this powerful offensive special to pick off enemies from a distance.

The Octobrush, on the other hand, is a far more offensive weapon geared towards ranked battles. Its Zipcaster special and stronger attacks are more geared towards control and taking out opponents.

What are the Best Support Abilities to Use for Brush Weapons in Splatoon 3?

As both brush weapons are offensive options within Splatoon 3, the best support abilities are Sub Power Up, Swim Speed Up and Sub Resistance Up. These brushes take advantage of bomb sub weapons that can be strengthened with the use of Sub Power Up. This is particularly useful when bombs can both act as damage-dealing openers for offensive action and ways to block off a path for an opponent and force them in a direction that places them closer to you, where the shorter range of the brushes become less of a concern.

As you will likely be engaging directly in battle from an offensive position, anything that can defend you and reduce the chances of an untimely demise are particularly useful. This makes sub resistance useful for whenever you accidentally swim into the direction of an enemy bomb or to reduce damage by enough points to successfully take out an opponent without witnessing your own demise at their hands. Any support ability that can improve your ability to enter and emerge victorious from 1v1 battles with enemy Inklings and Octolings is crucial for brush weapons in Splatoon 3.

What’s the Best Strategy to Play With Brushes?

Although the brush is an offensive weapon, the best strategy to use when playing as a brush weapon in Splatoon 3 is to understand when is the correct moment to engage. Due to the low range of both brushes available in the game at launch, directly engaging head-on with an opponent carrying a long-range weapon will almost certainly result in being splatted before your opponent enters your range.

To best engage in battle with an opponent, understanding the layout of each level and regularly checking the map and state of the field is important. When an opening to the side of the map presents itself, you should aim to flank your opponent and take them by surprise to attack from the side. This will give you the ability to get close enough to your opponent to attack them without them splatting you first.

In control modes like Tower Control and Splat Zones, the Octobrush is particularly useful. As players are all jumping and honing in on a single location it’s a good weapon to keep your opponents from approaching the zone head on and stop it from falling into enemy hands. In Tower Control in particular, if you use the Octobrush, you should stand on the tower itself and use the weapon’s close-distance strength to prevent opponents from standing on the tower and slowing or reversing its progress into enemy territory.

One particular move we like to implement into our offensive strategies with the Octobrush takes advantage of the Zipcaster ability. This can be used to quickly dash right into the heart of enemy territory with a speed they can’t anticipate, allowing for a quick kill that your team can take advantage of before they can even react. On some maps like Undertow Spillway, it’s possible to go around the map itself using the Zipcaster to catch out unsuspecting players from off the side of the map! This is an advanced technique that isn’t recommended for beginners, however.

In Turf War in Splatoon 3, taking control of the Inkbrush is the best choice for players looking to cover as much ground as possible.

What are the Best Brush Weapons in Splatoon 3?

Ultimately, we recommend the Octobrush as the best brush weapon in Splatoon 3 thanks to its superior strength and special abilities. While the weapon requires a heavy dose of trigger finger action compared to being able to hold the ZR button to shoot with other weapons and takes some getting used to, we recommend giving this weapon a shot if you’re looking for something different to use in Splatoon 3.