We had the pleasure of sitting down with Colorado Senator and former presidential candidate Steven Armstrong and asking him to answer some of the questions you have been looking up about him on the internet.
Google: Why is Senator Armstrong… so strong?
Armstrong: Why is the rest of our government so weak? I’ll tell you why, son. Because none of these withering husks in power believe in anything!
You wanna know why I’m strong? You wanna peep how I rose to power? Because I promised action and I delivered action. Now… those actions may have resulted in some deaths, maybe 8,000 or so, but who’s counting? That’s besides the point.
Well, that and nanomachines. They harden the goods, ya know!
Google: Why is Senator Armstrong… a meme?
Armstrong: That’s actually an interesting one. You see, the original definition of “meme” as coined by brilliant evolutionary biologist and eugenics apologist Richard Dawkins refers to a “gene” passed through culture and conversation. I fought Jack for all of half an hour, but what I told him changed the course of his life forever. So my meme, in the strictest sense, persists because I am an idea you nerds can not shake.
Hard Drive: I’m sorry. Did you say “brilliant eugeni–”
Armstrong: Hey twerp! Is your name Google?
Hard Drive: Uh, no?
Armstrong: Then I’m not autocompleting your questions for shit. Keep ’em moving.
Google: Can Senator Armstrong… beat Goku?
Armstrong: Actually. Why the hell are we using Google anyway? These tech companies are harvesting our data to sell us back shit we don’t need, weaponizing the illusion of free choice against us. This question is inane. Nobody asks this. It was generated to sell Funko Pops. No more Google! Give me a real search engine. One fit for someone of my stature.
DuckDuckGo: Can Senator Armstrong… back that up with a source?
Armstrong: I am the source!
You can’t trust any “citation” on the internet these days. You make your own answers; you forge your own rules. A couple of years ago, some limp-dick fossils tried to call this sort of philosophy “alternative facts” — but they were being dishonest. They’re not alternative; they’re SELF-DEFINED! Don’t let the culture police take your truth from you! You came up with your reality, so the rights to it are yours. Begone, DuckDuckGo!
Yahoo: How is Senator Armstrong… the bad guy?
Armstrong: Hah! More propaganda! What do you think this is, some Aesop’s fable? There are no “good” or “bad” guys. Sure, I might have tried to steal children’s brains and start a war in Pakistan. And sure, I may have said we should kill any leftover kids once the brain lab was full. But I think we’re missing the bigger picture here: I did it for the economy! Every politician does it! Just because I got caught, you’re going to cancel me for it?
I have to be honest, gentlemen: I really feel like cancel culture has gone too far. These autocompletes are lying to you for brownie points. There’s only one website we can trust anymore. The last great American frontier: Reddit.
Bing: How do Senator Armstrong… Minecraft skin
Armstrong: Waste of my time…
[Armstrong then absorbed the soul of a nearby cameraman, hardening his arm into a spear with nanomachines, and murdering everyone involved in the production of this video, before walking off set.]
Who should we interview next? Andrew Ryan from Bioshock? Drop a comment below!
SAINT LOUIS, Mo. — Local theater patron Jack Whitlock’s film expectations were reportedly shattered by a new trailer that somehow achieved the feat of having both Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart in the same movie.
“Holy shit. Holy. Shit,” Whitcomb said, rising up out of his seat to applaud the trailer. “They got The Rock AND Kevin Hart? How did they do that? Not only are they the two funniest comedy stars to ever live, but they also notoriously feud on social media! How did they get these two titans of cinema to bury the hatchet and get into wacky hijinks side by side? I don’t believe it. I literally cannot believe it.”
Whitlock apparently had a further epiphany later in the trailer upon realizing that the film would acknowledge that Hart and Johnson are different sizes.
“It’s all so clear now,” Whitlock said. “Hart is small, but The Rock is big. You’d think this would never work, a futile effort only a fool would attempt. But to lean into it? Find humor in the two leading men being not the same size? This auteur angle would rattle even Kubrick himself. Jokes about Kevin Hart being The Rock’s son, a line about The Rock’s bicep being larger than Hart’s head, maybe a gag about their genitals being of differing width and length, these are merely a few of the infinite possibilities presented by this cinematic playground.”
At press time, Whitlock had reportedly been rushed to the ICU after going into shock from seeing the film’s poster where The Rock holds Kevin Hart in his arms like a baby.
DOVER, Ohio — Diehard fan of the recent Japanese roleplaying game Eternal Revivals: The Forsaken Sky Quests, Thomas Laurie, reportedly took to Twitter to tell critics with middling reviews to only kill themselves a little bit.
“This game is so much better than your shitty 6/10 review alleges,” began Laurie on Twitter. “You clearly just don’t understand the story or the combat complexity, so you should just quit playing games and just drink fucking bleach. Although you did acknowledge that the game has cute characters and a good artstyle, so just drink a small cup of bleach, I guess. I should murder you for not thinking this installment is the best in the series, but I agree the series is usually great as a whole, so maybe I’ll just lightly maim you.”
Laurie went on to decry the ethics and validity of parts of the review.
“I couldn’t believe how blatantly paid off you are when you criticized the game,” Laurie wrote on the IGN message board. “But when you wrote the game has redeeming characteristics, it was nice to finally see ethical games journalism. Although the section deducting points for long loading screens made me realize you’re incredibly biased and have an ax to grind with me personally, I felt your assertion that the game’s ending was satisfying was completely impartial and fair.”
At press time, sources reported that Laurie exercised further restraint by only posting the first half of the reviewer’s house coordinates online.
Overwatch’s Heroes have glowed up with the release of Overwatch 2, receiving new Overwatch 2 variants to their original skins. In addition to these skins, the introduction of an in-game shop and the Season One Battle Pass mean even more new skins have been added at launch with plenty more to come. Here are all the new skins available in Overwatch 2 and how to unlock them.
Overwatch 2’s New Mythic Skins Explained
Overwatch 2 introduces a new skin rarity, Mythic. At the launch of Season One only a single Mythic Hero Skin is available to unlock; however, more will be released in the future. This new rarity is the highest available and comes with something we haven’t seen in Overwatch previously, customization. While the Mythic Hero Skins will not be fully customizable, players will be able to edit various bits like the color pattern to make the skin uniquely theirs.
How to Unlock Hero Skins
With loot boxes being a thing of the past, Overwatch 2 has introduced a number of currencies that can be used to unlock all kinds of cosmetics, including Hero Skins. There are four of these currencies and they are: Overwatch Coins, Legacy Credits, Competitive Points, and Tokens.
Overwatch Coins are the new and primary currency of Overwatch 2. Overwatch Coins can be earned through completing Seasonal Challenges or purchased from the in-game shop with real money.
Legacy Credits are the new name for the original and only currency of the first Overwatch. Any Overwatch Coins you had prior to Overwatch 2’s launch have been converted into Legacy Credits. There is no way to earn or purchase more Legacy Credits.
Competitive Points are unlocked by completing Competitive matches. A win grants 15 points, a draw 5, and a loss 0. Additionally, these can be earned by completing the Competitive Challenges each season. There is no way to purchase this currency.
Tokens only exist to purchase Overwatch League skins. Tokens can be earned by watching Overwatch 2 League matches with a connected account on Twitch. Otherwise, they can be purchased from the in-game shop with real money.
Hero Skins can be purchased from the Hero Gallery or when in rotation in the in-game shop. They are available for any of the currencies above and at varying price ranges depending on rarity and ongoing sales.Additionally, some Hero Skins are exclusive to Skin Bundles, which can be purchased with real money, and as Seasonal Battle Pass rewards.
All New Skins in Overwatch 2 – Tanks
D. Va: Overwatch 2 (Common) – Unlocked automatically.
D. Va: EDM (Legendary) – Unlocked via Premium Tier 1 of the Season One Battle Pass
SAN FRANCISCO — Ubisoft announced a Nobel Peace Prize edition of Far Cry 6 that will be releasing soon, despite the title having no tangible connection to the prestigious annual award, sources have confirmed.
“Yes, it’s true, Far Cry 6 did not win a Nobel Peace Prize, thank you for asking,” said Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot. “But if you pay close attention to the marketing, we’re not saying our game received a Nobel Peace Prize. No, not at all. We just think the Nobel Peace Prize is neat, and we wanted a way to honor everyone that’s ever won one when we re-released last year’s Far Cry 6.”
“Which many people said was the best game of the year,” he added. “Honestly. Seriously. For real.”
Many involved with the awarding of the annual Nobel Prizes objected to what they felt was Ubisoft’s attempt at insinuating their game was a recipient of the distinguished award.
“I really wish they wouldn’t be hinting that their game won one of our prizes last year,“ said Berit Reiss-Andersen, chairperson of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, the five person team tasked with selecting each year’s Nobel recipients. “If I’m being honest with you, they weren’t even nominated! No, I’m afraid this is just Ubisoft continuing to treat the gaming public at large with the least possible amount of respect. Did you know the ‘Nobel Prize Edition,’ is $150 and includes DLC that hasn’t even been completed yet? I’m ashamed to have our name attached to this in any way, frankly.”
Many gamers, however, felt that a Nobel Prize for the game wouldn’t be as undeserved as Reiss-Anderen thought.
“Hey, if they’re allowed to release a ‘Game of the Year,’ edition of Far Cry 6, then what’s the difference,” asked Roger Greene, a local gamer. “The Nobel Peace Prize might be more likely, actually. Far Cry 6 was a predictable open world slog, but as a company they’ve really brought gamers some unity in the sense that one of the only things that we can all agree on is ‘Fuck Ubisoft,’ ya know? We all certainly banded together to not give a fuck about Far Cry 6, I’ll tell you that much.”
As of press time, Paramount had released a debut trailer for their upcoming re-release Space Jam: A New Legacy: Best Picture Edition.
Reinhardt is unique among Overwatch 2’s roster in that he is the one of two characters (along with Brigitte) that utilizes melee for their primary attack. He’s a tank that is most effective when he has teammates to back him up as he doesn’t have a lot of mobility or a gun, but when with great support he can be one of the hardest tanks to kill.
Reinhardt’s giant shield and massive amounts of health and armor make him a great hero for defending, but don’t underestimate his offensive capabilities. Here’s how to become the massive wall that is Reinhardt.
Overwatch 2 Reinhardt Abilities
Primary Fire – Rocket Hammer
Reinhardt’s primary attack is his huge hammer which he’ll swim from left to right to clobber anyone in front of him. The hammer swings at a nice rhythm allowing you to feel out when you’ll damage your foes. It does do quite a bit of damage and because Reinhardt has so much armor and health you shouldn’t be afraid to get up close and personal.
Secondary Fire – Barrier Field
Reinhardt’s secondary fire is his shield. While you hold it up you’ll move slower, but you’ll block nearly all incoming fire. The shield has 1200 health and is capable of blocking almost any attack. The barrier blocks projectiles and explosions specifically. It can take the full force of a D.VA ultimate, completely block a Cassidy ultimate, and explode Wrecking Ball’s mines without damaging your teammates.
The barrier won’t block all attacks, though. The barrier is incapable of blocking melee attacks and some energy like abilities like an enemy Reinhardt’s Fire Strike and Winston’s Tesla Cannon will pass through the barrier. Some of the more uncommon abilities that it cannot block include Mei’s freeze’s (including her primary fire), Moira’s ultimate Coalescence, and Doomfist’s punch.
Learning Reinhardt’s barrier is the key to mastering him. The barrier will regenerate at a rate of 144 health per second after not getting hit for a couple of seconds. You’ll need to learn when to hold the shield up and when to lower. Once the shield breaks, it will be on a cooldown for five seconds. Once it comes back, it will be at 1200 health again, but those five seconds could be all the enemy team needs to defeat your team.
Ability 1 – Charge
Although Reinhardt is one of the slower tanks in Overwatch 2, he does have one of the best abilities to close space or escape a fight. Charge uses the rockets installed on the back of Reinhardt’s armor to boost himself across the map. Any enemy that gets caught in Charge will be sent along with him. If they hit a wall or other solid object then they’ll be damaged for 225 points of damage.
It is possible to just clip an enemy and not catch them in the charge. In that case the enemy will only be damaged for 50 points of damage, but will be knocked back a bit. Keep in mind you can only catch one enemy in the charge, but you are capable of damaging multiple enemies by clipping them with the charge for 50 points of damage.
Pinning enemies with charge is one of Reinhardt’s most powerful offensive abilities. It can completely kill most heroes with its 225 damage. Unfortunately, charging into an enemy team can get you killed very easily, especially if you didn’t pin anyone. The 8 second cooldown between charges will also make it difficult to escape the enemy’s team’s wrath if you wind up completely alone after a charge.
You can use Charge in an enclosed space to get an easy kill on an unsuspecting enemy or call out when you’re charging so your teammates can follow you into the fray. You can cancel the charge at any time by pressing the ability button again, so using it to quickly move in front of teammates and canceling to hold the shield up is a great way to help your team.
Ability 2 – Fire Strike
Reinhardt whips his hammer forward to produce a flaming projectile capable of going through barriers and enemies. Fire Strike does 90 damage upon hitting an enemy. This can be enough to finish someone at low health. You have two charges for the Fire Strike and the cooldown on each Fire Strike is 6 seconds.
While you may think of Fire Strike as an ability that is best used at range, it is also useful to use while in melee range thanks to amount of damage it does. If enemies are in a line while close, you can damage everyone thanks to the ability’s piercing capabilities. Once Fire Strike hits a wall or solid object it will disappear, but until then it’ll keep going.
Ultimate – Earthshatter
Reinhardt slams his hammer into the ground cracking the earth’s surface and knocking everyone to the ground in its path. Earthshatter is a great ability to use for setups. Once you knock everyone down, they’ll be incapable of moving or using abilities, so you can go to town swinging at them with your hammer or use a Fire Strike to finish someone at low health off. It’s also a great ability to combine with other ultimates to really clean up the enemy team.
The hammer ability will do 250 damage to everyone within 1.75 meters in front of the impact, and will do 50 damage to everyone outside of that range that is still caught in the blast. Most of the time you won’t kill enemies right with the impact of the hammer, which is why using it in a combination with your teammates or abilities is the most effective way of using it.
Earthshatter is capable of being dodged if your opponent was jumping or in the air at just the right moment. Enemies behind a barrier will also not be affected by it, so watch out for enemy Reinhardts that are baiting you into using your ultimate into their shield.
Changes to Reinhardt in Overwatch 2
Reinhardt’s changes are mostly passive ones. He has not had a complete rework like fellow tanks Orisa and Doomfist. Here the changes made to Reinhardt.
Steadfast ability removed. Previously Reinhardt’s Steadfast passive would provide a 50% knockback resistance. This ability was removed as now all tanks have a natural passive that blocks 30% of knockback damage and 30% of ultimate charge when being damaged.
Base armor increased from 200 to 300
Base health increased from 300 to 325
Barrier Field health reduced from 1600 to 1200.
Barrier Field regeneration reduced from 200 points per second to 144 points per second.
Charge turn radius has been increased by 50% meaning it is easier to steer while charging.
Charge can be manually canceled.
Charge pin damage reduced from 300 to 225.
Charge Cooldown has been reduced from 10 second to 8 seconds.
Fire Strike has been given two charges instead of one.
Fire Strike damage reduced from 100 to 90.
Overwatch 2 Reinhardt Strategy and Team Composition
Reinhardt’s greatest skill is absorbing incoming damage. You should remain in front of your teammates when you play as Reinhardt. Your teammates will dish out the damage behind your shield while you defend them from harm.. The best Reinhardts are capable of closing the distance between them and the enemy team though. You should be slowly moving forward toward the enemy team, and look for ways to get in close to smack them with your hammer.
To that end, you’ll also want to learn how to feather the shield ability. If you keep the shield up constantly it will break. You have a ton of armor as Reinhardt and armor reduces incoming damage. You aren’t frail. Put the shield down every so often to let it recharge and body block for your team while they heal you or get behind some cover. Once the shield is at a good amount of health you can put it back up.
You won’t be getting a lot of kills as Reinhardt, but that is OK. Your main role is to allow your teammates the chance to kill enemies. However, that doesn’t mean you won’t be killing anyone. Charge can be used to instantly take out an enemy hero, but be careful not to use in to send yourself into the enemy team alone. Fire Strike is a good ability pick off a foe that is almost dead or it can also be used as soon as your hammer hits someone in an “animation cancel” to deal a massive amount of damage.
The great thing about Reinhardt is his versatility. Nearly every hero works well in combination with him. The heroes that you won’t be able to easily defend though are Pharah because she’ll be in the air most of the time, and extremely mobile heroes like Tracer, Genji, and Sombra. It’s probably a good idea to only have one of these types of heroes on your team. Having a hero like Junkrat, Soldier 76, or Ashe that can stay behind the barrier and help attack from the front while a mobile hero attacks from behind or sides is a good idea.
Stick with your team and utilize good communication with Reinhardt. Defend your teammates that need help. Push with your friends to get the upper hand on the enemy. Call out when you use Earthshatter so your teammates can capitalize on your offensive. You’ll become a wall incapable of being broken in no time.
Achievement Sprays have been a part of Overwatch since its original launch in 2016. These cosmetics exist for each Hero and are unlocked for completing specific tasks or using their abilities in unique ways. With the launch of Overwatch 2 comes three new Heroes and with them, two new Achievement Sprays each. So, how do you unlock the new Hero Sprays?
NOTE: All sprays can be unlocked in Quick Play or Competitive game modes in Overwatch 2.
Kiriko’s Pixel Spray is unlocked by completing the “Purified” achievement. This requires you to cleanse 5 negative effects with a single use of Kiriko’s Protection Suzu. This one will take some time as many of the parameters are out of your control.
Protection Suzu is an AoE ability that cleanses teammates and grants invulnerability. Being in a situation where you are near to/having enough teammates affected by debuffs will be rare; however, Heroes can be affected by multiple debuffs at once. Additionally, the enemy team’s composition will also dictate how successful you can be in getting this done. If your enemies aren’t inflicting debuffs, then there aren’t any debuffs to cleanse.
Your best opportunities will come when playing against a good Junker Queen, or a Sombra/Mei Ultimate that hits your team, but not you. You’ll likely go through a lot of trial and error to get this done, but playing close to teammates and using communication will go a long way to helping you unlock this spray.
Abilities that can be cleansed:
Ana – Biotic Grenade | Sleep Dart
Ashe – Dynamite
Junker Queen – Rampage | Any Applied Wounds
Mei- Blizzard
Reinhardt- Earthshatter
Sombra- Hack
Kiriko Cute Spray
Kiriko’s Cute Spray is unlocked by completing the “Yokai” achievement. This requires you to restore 1500 health and land 5 critical hits without dying. You’ll need to play cautiously and pick your opportunities to strike enemies without becoming too overzealous.
Kiriko’s Primary fire is a talisman that heals teammates. Her Secondary fire is a kunai that damages enemies. You’ll need to alternate between each, depending on the situation, while staying alive to rack up enough healing and critical hits. Each talisman heals for 13HP and Kiriko can fire a burst, healing for 26HP. As for the damage, you should focus fire on tank characters, as their critical hitboxes are larger. Just remember to stay behind your teammates and pick your shots carefully to unlock this spray.
Junker Queen’s Pixel Spray is unlocked by completing the “Adrenaline Junkie” achievement. This requires you to have 7 wounds active on enemies simultaneously. You’ll most likely need to play a good amount of Junker Queen to get used to her combos and get the timing right.
Luckily, most of Junker Queen’s abilities inflict wounds. So most of the work will be on timing your attack and learning how to combo her abilities effectively. Wait for the enemy team to be grouped up and unleash your combo, starting with your Ultimate Ability, Rampage. This is an AoE attack, where Junker Queen charges forward damaging all enemies in front of her, inflicting wounds and preventing healing. If you manage to hit the majority of the enemy team with this, you are in a good spot. Quickly, follow this initial attack with Carnage, which swings your axe at any enemies in front of you dealing even more damage and wounds. Finally, use either your Jagged Blade melee passive on a close enemy, or your Jagged Blade projectile to hit a fleeing enemy for one more wound. If done quickly enough and with enough enemies hit from your initial flurry, this spray should be all yours.
Junker Queen Cute Spray
Junker Queen’s Cute Spray is unlocked by completing the “Coup De Gracie” achievement. This requires you to use Jagged Blade and Carnage to pull and kill an enemy. Similar to “Adrenaline Junkie”, you’ll need to learn the timing of this combo to successfully pull it off.
The enemy you choose to eliminate with this combo is just as important as learning the combo itself. You’ll want to focus on a squishy enemy with low movement, or in other words an easy kill that can’t just run away after you pull them in with Jagged Blade. As alluded to, this combo starts by using the Jagged Blade projectile to hit and pull the enemy in close. Immediately activate Carnage to swing your axe on them, hopefully sending them back to spawn and unlocking this spray.
Sojourn’s Pixel Spray is unlocked by completing the “On The Move” achievement. This requires you to kill an enemy with a charged Railgun headshot, while sliding. You’ll need a bit of luck and some understanding of Sojourn’s mechanics to do this properly.
Sojourn’s Railgun charges based on damage dealt to enemies, so you’ll want to focus on getting your Railgun fully charged before attempting this. Once fully charged, you need to slide and try to headshot them with your secondary fire. It is recommended that you target a more squishy opponent, rather than a tank, but any low health enemy will do. Be patient as you probably won’t be hitting a headshot while sliding on your first try. As long as you are outputting enough damage, you should get plenty of tries at this per match. Additionally, Overclock auto-charges your Railgun, giving you even more chances to try to unlock this spray.
Sojourn Cute Spray
Sojourn’s Cute Spray is unlocked by completing the “Taking Charge” achievement. This requires you to get 4 killing blows with Sojourn’s Ultimate, Overclock. This one is perhaps not as difficult as it seems, but is dependent on your aim and situational awareness.
Overclock is a buff that causes Sojourn’s Railgun to auto-charge for a limited time. You want to activate this in the heat of a battle. Once active, your Railgun shots will continue to be charged and also be able to pierce through multiple enemies. But, it is important to note that you don’t specifically have to get the kills with your Railgun, as you can also use the primary fire during your Ultimate. Overclock only lasts for 9 seconds so focus on hitting headshots to deal extra damage and pick off squishy enemies quickly enough to unlock this spray.
Bastion has been a playable hero in Overwatch since the beginning, but they’ve changed quite a bit since then, having most of their abilities replaced or reworked in Overwatch 2. Thanks to their new changes, Bastion, the nature-loving robot, is a more versatile and mobile damage hero. Bastion’s high damage potential makes them an attractive hero against shielded enemies and tanks, and Bastion’s not too difficult to use as long as you know how it all works.
Bastion is a damage hero with 200 base health and 100 armor – a total of 300. 300 is a decent health pool for a damage hero, but Bastion’s bulkier size makes it an easier target.
Bastion works slightly differently from other heroes since its different attack modes are called Configurations. Let’s run through them.
Overwatch 2 Bastion: Configurations & Abilities
Configuration: Recon
Recon is simply Bastion’s default mode. Bastion has full mobility in this mode and wields a hyper-accurate submachine gun. This gun does 25 damage per bullet and can fire 5 rounds per second – meaning Bastion can deal 125 damage per second. Headshots and critical hits deal 50 damage per bullet.
This submachine gun works well at long range since Bastion doesn’t receive any recoil from firing it; they are a robot, after all. The submachine gun is also a hitscan weapon – meaning if your reticle is over the enemy when you pull the trigger, the hit will register. Bastion’s Recon mode can be lethal if your aim is good enough.
Configuration: Assault
Bastion can use the Reconfigure ability to switch between Recon and Assault configurations. The Assault configuration transforms Bastion into a mobile heavy turret. Its movement speed is drastically reduced, but Bastion’s damage potential is incredibly high in this mode.
While in this mode, Bastion can deal 12 damage per bullet and fire 30 shots per second. This means that Bastion can deal a whopping 360 damage per second. As a result, you’ll only need to aim at characters like Tracer and Zenyatta for less than a second to score a kill. This mode is handy for dealing with tanks that have massive health pools and are easy targets due to their size.
While Bastion can stay in the Recon configuration indefinitely, it can only be in Assault mode for 6 seconds. The Reconfigure ability has a cooldown of 12 seconds.
A-36 Tactical Grenade
Bastion’s new grenade deals around 120 damage, depending on how close an enemy is when it explodes. The grenade has a cooldown of 8 seconds.
The grenade bounces off of walls but sticks to enemies and the floor. The grenade also knocks back enemies, so a well-positioned grenade can break up a close-knit team.
The grenade’s knockback effect can be used to push enemies off of maps and get environmental kills, even though the pushback effect isn’t as aggressive as Pharah’s Concussive Blast, for example.
Overwatch 2 Bastion Guide – Passive Abilities
Ironclad
This passive ability reduces damage taken by 20% while Bastion is transformed in Assault and Artillery configurations.
Role: Damage
When Bastion eliminates an enemy, you’ll receive a boost to movement and reload speed. Every damage hero in Overwatch 2 has this passive ability.
Bastion’s Ultimate Ability works similarly to Doomfist’s. Bastion will transform into a mortar, and then you’ll need to fire three artillery rounds anywhere on the map, even in interior settings. The artillery shells won’t fire until you place all three. One artillery round can deal around 150-600 damage, depending on how close an enemy is to the center of the explosion. You have 8 seconds to place all three rounds.
Bastion will still be vulnerable to damage during this Ultimate, so find a safe interior to activate it. Don’t place the artillery shells nearby your stationary Bastion, as it will also be vulnerable to damage by the artillery shots.
Try to activate this ability when you know where the enemy team is and when they’re all close together. This way, you’ll be able to quickly place all three shots around them and catch several enemies in the blast radius. Even if an enemy tries to run from one blast, there’s a chance they’ll run into the other two. Configuration: Artillery is most useful in Control and Escort game modes, where the enemy team will likely congregate around an objective.
Configuration: Artillery has an ultimate cost of around 3000 points. Ultimate charge is dependent on how much damage you deal as Bastion. For example, dealing 3000 damage will charge up Bastion’s Ultimate Ability. Characters also generate a small amount of ultimate charge automatically.
Overwatch 2 Bastion Changes
Bastion saw significant changes during the original Overwatch and has received another major update in the transition to Overwatch 2. As a result, lots of Bastion’s core abilities have been reworked, including its Ultimate ability. Here’s everything that’s changed with Bastion.
Configuration: Sentry has been replaced with Configuration: Assault. These two configurations are similar, but Bastion can now move in this configuration, and some stats have been adjusted.
The Self-Repair ability has been replaced with the A-36 Tactical Grenade.
Bastion’s Ultimate Ability, Configuration: Tank, has been replaced with Configuration: Artillery.
Bastion has access to the passive ability, Role: Damage.
Bastion’s primary rate of fire has been slowed down a little, but it’s now more precise.
Overwatch 2 Bastion Guide – Strategy & Team Composition
In Overwatch 2, Bastion can now be helpful in several situations. The Configuration: Assault is undoubtedly Bastion’s best ability for several reasons. Its high damage output is ideal for dealing with tanks and ripping through enemy shields. If there’s a Reinhardt or Sigma on the enemy team, Bastion can tear down their shields in seconds. Configuration: Assault can deal with enemies at long range, so Bastion can be a good counter-pick if there’s a Mercy or Echo in the sky.
Other long-ranged heroes like Hanzo and Pharah could quickly deal with Bastion in the original game since Bastion’s sentry mode was immobile. But now, Bastion’s movement capabilities and more precise submachine gun make Bastion a more capable hero. Bastion’s bigger size still puts it at a disadvantage against precision enemies.
Even though Bastion has no reason to be stationary anymore, they’re still a hero that works best behind the cover of a shield. If there is a Reinhardt on your team, hiding behind his shield and using Configuration: Assault is a safe way to deal tons of damage.
Removing the Self-Repair ability and Bastion’s slow movement means that they aren’t a self-sufficient hero like some other damage heroes. Therefore, Bastion works well with a Mercy who can keep it steadily healed and can amplify Bastion’s already high damage. If there’s a Zenyatta on your team, try to aim for whichever enemy has the Orb of Discord attached to them.
Overwatch 2 Bastion Guide – Skins
There are 21 unique skins for Bastion in Overwatch 2. Players can transfer skins from the original Overwatch once they’ve linked their account. New skins can be unlocked through the Battle Pass or bought via the in-game Shop. To buy skins, you can use Legacy Credits that have been transferred from the first game. Otherwise, you can use Overwatch Coins that need to be purchased with real money or unlocked via weekly challenges.
Skins
Details
Overwatch 1
Common Skin
Automatically unlocked
Overwatch 2
Common Skin
Automatically unlocked
Dawn
Rare Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Meadow
Rare Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Sky
Rare Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Soot
Rare Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Tombstone
Epic Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Defense Matrix
Epic Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
250 Legacy Credits
1000 Overwatch Coins
Omnic Crisis
Epic Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Gift Wrap
Epic Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Rooster
Epic Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Null Sector
Epic Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Woodbot
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Overgrown
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Antique
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
1000 Legacy Credits
1900 Overwatch Coins
Gearbot
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
1000 Legacy Credits
1900 Overwatch Coins
Steambot
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
1900 Overwatch Coins
Coffin
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Avalanche
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Dragonfire
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Gwishin
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Dune Buggy
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Stealth
Legendary Skin
Sometimes available in the Shop
Overwatch 2 – Why is Bastion Locked?
If you log on to Overwatch 2 to put this guide into action, you may be surprised to see that Bastion is no longer on the character select screen. This is due to a pretty game breaking issue that occurred when using Bastion’s Ultimate, allowing him to launch a ton of artillery shells in the air. The results can be pretty hilarious, but also ruin competitive games. Ideally Bastion won’t be locked for much longer. In the meantime, if you don’t want to read more about what’s gone wrong with Overwatch 2‘s launch, check out everything that Overwatch 2 has done right, instead!
The song-slinging healer Lucio returns in Overwatch 2. In the game’s universe, he was a humble Brazilian DJ until the corporations attacked. He fought back by stealing a powerful prototype sonic device, along with an early build of GTA 6. Now, he uses the stolen tech in unison with his music to heal and strengthen the people, except for the people that run away from the team and then complain when they die. Here’s how to play Lucio in Overwatch 2.
Overwatch 2 Lucio Abilities
Lucio is a support character, and that means heals. His style of healing is pretty unique compared to the other Overwatch supports, even now: he’s constantly playing his mixtape, which affects all of his teammates within 12 meters. He has two songs, a speed song and a healing song. Both songs are available as actual full tracks, a nice touch from when the game still had heart.
“We Move Together As One“, the speed song, makes Lucio and friends 25% faster. That’s a significant amount, especially considering only Lucio and Junker Queen can affect their allies’ speed directly.
“Rejuvenescência“, the healing song, restores about 16 heath per second to allies, and 6 health per second to himself. It’s a minor heal, but it’s constant. Just hanging around your team lets you pump out tons of healing by doing absolutely nothing.
It can be hard to keep track of which allies are in range of your songs (allies behind you, for example), but there’s a handy number in the middle of your screen that constantly lists how many allies are currently hearing the music. You want that number as high as possible. Watch out for walls: your teammates will get no benefit from your songs if there’s a wall – or an enemy barrier – between you.
Crossfade (Ability): Pressing the Crossfade button switches near-instantly between Lucio’s two songs. He always respawns with his speed song active. That’s good, since that’s the one you want to start with, but once you’re in the fight you’d better remember to hit that Crossfade to start healing.
Amp It Up (Ability): This greatly strengthens Lucio’s current song for three seconds. His speed song becomes a blistering 60% bonus, and his heal increases to 52 points per second! Most characters have 200 max HP, so this can restore your whole team to full health in a few seconds. It goes on cooldown for 12 seconds once it’s done, so proper use of this boost is the key factor in Lucio’s effectiveness as a healer.
Sonic Amplifier (Primary Fire): Each click fires a quick burst of four green audio balls doing 20 damage apiece. It’s a fast attack that travels far, and it can do headshot damage, but it’s weak and hard to hit thanks to the projectiles’ travel time. These are mainly so you have something to do while passively healing. Damage dealt will charge your Ultimate, after all.
Soundwave (Secondary Fire): Sometimes called the “boop”. A 12-meter long blast that does 25 damage and pushes enemies away. This is your main defensive tool. The damage is worthless, but this move has such a short cooldown, it’s worth using anytime you can. It won’t kill, but don’t underestimate the disorienting effect of the push.
There are plenty of situations when shoving the enemy away is helpful, the most obvious being when you can push them into a pit for an instant kill. Keep an eye out for these opportunities: many King of the Hill maps in Overwatch include bottomless pits right next to the point. You can do the whole enemy team at once if you’re lucky.
Sound Barrier (Ultimate): With a powerful drop, Lucio radiates a protective force across his whole team. Its range is actually much greater than his normal songs’, at 30 meters, but the same line of sight rules apply. Anyone affected, meaning yourself and all teammates, get 750 extra health… that rapidly decays over six seconds. It’s easiest to just consider this move six seconds of near-invulnerability. Use it right before everyone’s about to be hit hard, but don’t wait too long: if a teammate dies before Sound Barrier triggers, you’ve just wasted 750 points of health.
One last important feature of Lucio is his movement ability. He uses laser blades on his feet to slide around, instead of using them to kill people like he ought to. This makes him a little floatier than regular-shoed heroes, capable of conserving momentum between jumps. It also allows him to Wall Ride! Jumping into a wall while holding the button lets Lucio slide along the wall. It’s faster than walking, and releasing the button makes him leap forward off the wall. You can absolutely chain Wall Rides into one another to scale entire buildings.
Overwatch 2 Lucio Changes
Lucio is almost exactly the same as he was in the original Overwatch. He went through a lot of changes during that game’s development, rapidly alternating between being one of the best and worst healers, but he seems to be in a stable spot now. Probably.
Healers in Overwatch 2 have gained a new passive ability to heal over time after avoiding damage for a few seconds, Halo shield style. Lucio could already self-heal with his music, so Blizzard turned down the volume with a self-heal penalty on his heal song. It should even out to be about the same, but it does mean that Lucio will now self-heal during his speed song. That makes a speedy escape a more appealing defensive strategy.
Tips for Lucio
Lucio is capable of being an extremely versatile support. Even the worst Lucio player will generate tons of healing for their entire team with zero effort. That makes him a great choice for beginners. Playing him well, however, means knowing the right time to use his active abilities. His amped up heal song is powerful at 52 points per second, but it’s possible for teammates to take hundreds of damage from well-aimed DPS abilities.
Recognizing when the hammer’s about to fall on your team is vital for a proactive Lucio. Amping to heal after a heavy hit is also useful, but that means you need to know the HP status of your team. Keep an eye out for critically injured allies while you skate.
It should go without saying, but Lucio is most effective when near his team. Rushing toward the enemy team alone is a bad idea for most heroes, and a triply-bad idea for Lucio. He’s most effective, then, in offense situations when your team is grouped around a control point or payload (which doesn’t block Lucio’s music despite its wall-like properties). His speed boost can help his whole team regroup after respawning. It can be worth hanging around the spawn room until you have an army to travel with.
Despite his healing potential, Lucio isn’t able to focus a single ally for big heals. That 52 health per second for three seconds doesn’t mean much to a 500-health tank. It makes sense to team with a second healer who focuses on single targets; Mercy is an obvious choice, but Ana can also do large single-target healing. Lucio also becomes less useful when he’s teamed with flanking DPS, since he has no way to heal faraway targets. He can be part of an effective mobile attack force, but only if everyone’s on board.
Lucio’s greatest weakness is his low attack power. Supports Moira and Kiriko have powerful damage options, but Lucio only has a peashooter and a pushback. If forced into a 1v1, Lucio’s survivability depends on his excellent speed and mobility. If you really want to get kills, your best bet is to master his Wall Ride to attack from unusual angles: as Lord Newell once said, “Gamers don’t look up.” The practice range is a great place to test the capabilities of Lucio’s Wall Ride. There are also a few menu options that tweak how Wall Ride works, so look those over if you’re committed to the DJ lifestyle.
Overwatch 2 Lucio Skins
Lucio’s Capoeira skin.
These are Lucio’s available skins. Most of them are carried over from the original Overwatch.
Legendary skins cost 1900 Overwatch Credits, and Rare skins cost 75 Legacy Credits. Auditiva and Synesthesia cost 250 Legacy Credits and Gorgon, a Halloween skin, costs 1000 Overwatch Credits.
The event skins, marked by a white symbol, are all tagged as “sometimes available in the shop”: Selecao, Striker, Satyr, Snow Fox, Samul Nori, Equalizer, Jazzy, Gorgon, Andes, and Bitrate.
Some of them can’t be purchased with currency at the moment: Snow Fox, Samul Nori, Equalizer, Jazzy, Andes, and Bitrate. Overall this is all very confusing. I’m sure Blizzard is salivating at the thought of making money on their Free-2-Play “upgrade”, but surely they’d have better luck if their pricing schemes were comprehensible.
REDMOND, Wash. — A new Nintendo Direct quickly went off the rails when President of Nintendo America Doug Bowser suddenly broke down and began posing philosophical ideals about control and games.
“Can anyone truly control Mario?” an inquisitive Bowser asked viewers. “We are to believe the plumber has free will, no? Otherwise, his victory is a shallow, meaningless one. His defeat of King Koopa is merely a predetermined event coded into the game, his life. Yet Mario celebrates his triumph, seemingly ignorant that he is doomed to repeat it for all eternity. Is this a foolhardy exercise, with Mario the victim of some cruel, preposterous trick of existence? Or has Mario found happiness in his dogged routine, like Camus proposed Sisyphus did?”
Nintendo fans were disappointed in the lack of reveals of games and the abundance of reveals about the human condition.
“My ears perked up when he said ‘Mario,’ but instead of getting a Mario Odyssey sequel, I got the unfortunate truth that existence is a warped, flawed mirror of itself,” said ten-year-old Mario fan Kevin O’Dooley. “I used to think Mario Kart was fun, until Mr. Bowser pointed out Mario is but a vessel for my suffering, and I project the pain of my world onto him in a feeble attempt to feel in control. I am nothing, just like my father before me. Although Mario may live and die at my hands, he is actually my controller.”
At press time, the haunting Nintendo Direct segment was followed by Masahiro Sakurai presenting a new DLC fighter for Smash Bros., followed by a 45-minute dissertation about why we feel the need to smash in the first place.
