Hard Drive Reviews: YAKUZA KIWAMI

Posted on by Brad Waters

The Yakuza series has recently branched out in new directions with Yakuza: Like A Dragon and Like A Dragon: Ishin, but what about where it all began, again? Does 2016’s Yakuza Kiwami provide a faithful re-telling of the original Yakuza from 2005? Did both games lay a strong foundation for the series at the start? Can you slap a child in it? Find out — especially that last one, with Hard Drive Reviews, of YAKUZA KIWAMI.

Hard Drive Reviews is a review series in which we are attempting to review a game whilst also never once using the words “good,” “bad,” or any of either words’ countless synonyms. Should we make such a catastrophic mistake, a lifetime of shame shall befall our families and our children shall be cursed.

“Worst,” “worse,” “better,” and other terms are relative terms by the way! And do not mean “good” or “bad” on their own and are thus fair game. Words with good or bad connotations do not equal words that mean good or bad.

Every Fast & Furious Movie Ranked

Posted on by Jeremy Kaplowitz

There’s one thing for certain: the Fast & Furious movies are dope. And Fast X, the eleventh movie in the Fast franchise comes out May 19th, which, according to the car-god Vin Diesel himself, will be the final installment in the saga. But where will it land in our extremely objective ranking of the franchise thus far? Well let’s see where the other movies in the series definitively stand for now. 

#10 — Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)

This is barely a Fast & Furious movie, so perhaps it doesn’t count, but I just wanted to quickly say: screw this movie. It sucks. In a franchise where every movie takes a leap toward getting wackier and wackier, this movie takes a step back, assuming that what everyone likes about the franchise is, I guess, bad one-liners. Wrong. It’s a franchise about people whose superpower is cars and are powered by family. And that’s why it’s the best live action anime franchise of all time. If they really wanted to make this a hit, they should have just leaned into the rom-com aspect and let Hobbs and Shaw kiss at the end, but they were too scared — instead, opting to let each actor trade back and forth winning fights so that neither one would look bad. Cowardice! Also Ryan Reynolds shows up to basically just be Deadpool in this for no reason, which feels insanely out of place.

#9 — The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)

Despite not being an official spin-off film, this movie features the fewest number of mainstay Fast & Furious characters, with just one: Han. And yes, I know that Dominic Toretto shows up for one silent moment at the end. For some reason, Tokyo Drift, however, stars a 45-year-old high school student named Sean who has to learn how to perform a Tokyo Drift. But worst of all, it does the unforgivable: it KILLS OFF Han! This is a decision that proved so devastating, the series was forced to make the next four movies prequels to this so that Han could stick around a bit longer.

#8 — Fast & Furious (2009)

Outside of Letty’s death, which pays off incredibly well down the line, and Gal Gadot’s introduction, which also happens, you could probably just cut this movie from the series and you wouldn’t miss much. It’s definitely a hint at what’s to come for the franchise, dipping its toes into the cold waters of “what if these guys aren’t street racers? What if they are actually like… I dunno, spies or something?” But in a franchise that has 11 movies, this is probably the least essential of that bunch.

#7 — 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

It’s immediately strange that the sequel to The Fast and the Furious does not include Dominic Toretto, but I guess that’s on him for straight up refusing to be in the movie, instead opting to star in The Chronicles of Riddick, which is a movie that we can all agree exists. It’s also weird that this film marks the introduction of Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej Parker (Ludacris), who show back up in the fifth movie and continue to be a main part of the franchise since, even if they are really not that similar to the characters introduced here (Ludacris goes from street racer to world-renowned hacker in the span of 8 years?).. But at the end of the day, this movie gave the world perhaps the most iconic sequel name of all time, and something to be parodied until the oceans rise and engulf the Earth (2026).

#6 — F9 (2021)

I’ll be honest, I think you can shuffle around a lot of these middle ones. They go to space in this movie. We see flashbacks of young Dom. We are introduced to Dom’s brother John Cena. Roman and Tej discuss the very real likelihood that they are immortal, (which I think is something they should lean into). I think this movie is very stupid and fun, but it’s also where the entries start to get a bit repetitive, without adding too much new stuff. At one point, each Fast & Furious movie was way more insane than the last, but it started to slow down. And if this franchise is going to compete with the likes of the Mission Impossible franchise, Vin Diesel is going to have to outdo learning to fly a helicopter and performing an actual on-camera Halo Jump. Bringing back Han from the dead for no reason is a funny start, though.

#5 — The Fast and the Furious (2001)

2001 is the year the world changed forever, with the advent of 9/11 The Fast and the Furious. This franchise has driven down a long and winding road, but sometimes it’s important to remember your roots, and visit your hometown: remaking Point Break but with cars. It’s a very simple story, but it’s a good fun movie about being an undercover cop and wanting to have sex with your target’s sister. Who hasn’t lived that life? The Fast & Furious series has gotten insane over the last two decades, but it wouldn’t have been so fun if it didn’t start with such humble beginnings. These are purely original characters (stolen from Point Break) and not some comic book adaptation or 1960 reboot and it’s a joy that we have been able to watch them grow up on the silver screen all these years.

#4 — The Fate of the Furious (2017)

F8 is a weird one. There’s some really cool stuff in it, like cars racing over a sheet of ice in Russia to escape a nuclear submarine, causing The Rock, while driving a car, to hang out of it and kick a missile away from him, which then explodes. Charlize Theron also makes it rain cars at one point, taking control of them remotely, which is the perfect antithesis to the human-powered cars of our heroes. But this is also the beginning of the feud between Vin and The Rock behind the scenes, causing certain parts of the movie to play weirdly due to the fact that they refused to work together (despite their characters being in many of the same scenes). Not to mention, there’s also the awkwardness surrounding the character who is obviously supposed to be New Brian. F8 is still a dumb blast, but it’s definitely the beginning of the “how many more of these do we need?” feeling that I think exists today, ahead of the franchise’s supposed final film.

#3 — Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

The sixth movie in the Fast & Furious franchise has all the stuff that you need for a good Fast & Furious movie. All the important characters are here, and by this point in the franchise, the characters are essentially superheroes. They’re jumping across cars, getting chased by airplanes, and battling people whose last name is Shaw. It’s been a while since I’ve seen this one, but I’m pretty sure someone drives a tank in it. Han is still around because we’re still in prequel-Tokyo-Drift territory, but this one ends with Han’s car exploding in Tokyo, the first of TWO retcons of this scene from 7 years ago.

#2 — Fast Five (2011)

Often considered the first good movie in the franchise (impressive, five entries in!), Fast Five is the first Fast & Furious movie to do what many thought was impossible: introduce a second extremely muscular bald guy. That’s right, this one is Vin Diesel vs. The Rock and it’s a movie about street racers who use cars to perform a huge heist, not by breaking into a vault but by attaching a vault to a car and stealing it. The vault scene in this movie rules. The whole movie rules. Fast & Furious 6 is not that much better than F9, but Fast Five is considerably better than Fast & Furious 6. Not to mention, because it’s a goddamn heist movie, it’s got a great “get the gang back together scene,” except it’s better than usual because this franchise has been around so long, we actually get to bring back great one-off characters from the older entries. Vroom vroom.

#1 — Furious 7

Furious 7 is a genuine masterpiece of action movie camp. Every second of this movie is insane and fun. In a world where every big action movie is so absolutely embarrassed to exist, it has to constantly wink at the audience to show that it knows it’s not cool, Furious 7 just goes for it. The characters in this movie fly cars. Twice. Dominic Toretto steals a car out of the Etihad Towers in Abu Dhabi, flying it from one tower to the next, crashing through the Terracotta army. The Rock says “daddy’s gotta go to work,” flexes out of a full-arm cast, steals an ambulance, drives it off a bridge, lands on a drone, and then shoots the drone in its face. There’s a sword fight with crowbars and windshield wipers. There’s a THIRD MUSCULAR BALD GUY in Jason Statham. Letty comes back from the dead. Dom dies and comes back to life due to the healing power of family. And on top of it all, the film ends with a strange and loving goodbye to actor Paul Walker — who died in real life, but in the movie, does not die! He just retires and Dom names his baby after him! This movie is out of its mind. 10/10. This is the greatest superhero movie of all time. It is hard to imagine the Fast & Furious franchise will ever have all the pieces together to reach these heights again.

MLB The Show 23 Best Pitching Style Guide: Best Pitch Settings

Posted on by Samuel Moreno

MLB The Show 23 provides players with many different settings and options to finely tweak their baseball experience, and many players may be searching for the best pitching style. Whether you’re new to the series or a diehard fan that’s played every yearly release for as long as you can remember, there are plenty of choices to make the gameplay comfortable.

A great example of this is the different available pitching styles. Each has its benefits and disadvantages, but there is one that will be most appealing to a majority of players. This guide will cover all of them and provide an answer to which pitching style is the best in MLB The Show 23.

What are The Pitching Styles in MLB The Show 23?

There are five pitching styles to choose from when first starting the game and they can easily be changed in the main menu’s Gameplay settings. The Options Explorer under the Learn to Play section on the main menu also allows practice with each style.

  • Classic is the most bare-bones option that might seem familiar from older Baseball-themed video games. The pitch simply needs to be aimed and thrown, leaving velocity to be calculated by the pitcher’s own stats.
  • Meter is a style that seems inspired by the shot system in Golf games, where a needle will travel along a meter before coming back down. The first pass is to determine the velocity and the second is for trying to match it with a pre-determined mark for accuracy.
  • Pinpoint is easily the most complicated choice. The left stick is first used to aim and then the right stick has to trace a pitch-specific pattern while meeting two closing circles. It requires the most precision in movement as well as time to throw the best pitch.
  • Pulse is one of the simplest to use next to Classic and also has no way to affect the velocity of a pitch. This style turns the aiming marker into a continuously pulsating circle. Time the button press when the circle is at its smallest to throw with the best accuracy.
  • Pure Analog is similar to Pinpoint in that it makes use of thumbsticks. After aiming the pitch with the left thumbstick, the right thumbstick is pulled down before being pushed up in the same direction as the left.

What is the Best Pitching Style?

Each of the pitching styles has its own uses for specific situations, so it’s tough to pick the best pitching style in MLB The Show 23. Someone new to the game might prefer the Classic style or have a consistent team of pitchers with decent stats to cover the lack of velocity choice. It can’t be understated how much a player’s own personal skill level and preference also play a huge factor in which style they might gravitate to.

If the best pitching style in MLB The Show 23 has to be chosen, it’s undoubtedly Pinpoint though. As difficult as it is to use, no other style can allow for such fine tweaks to a pitch’s accuracy and velocity. Throwing a great pitch with this style can help the best perform how they’re expected and even those with substandard stats throw at their maximum potential. Pinpoint is a pitching style that’s worth learning, especially if you’re planning to play competitively with others.

Exclusive Text From Mom Reveals Mario Movie Teaser From 6 Months Ago

Posted on by Ryan Sims

PHILADELPHIA — As part of an exclusive partnership with Nintendo, local mom Patricia Barnes sent a text message advertising the new Super Mario Bros. movie to her son, Jake Barnes.

“Our Mom-Text ad campaign has been incredibly successful,” said Paula Graham, Nintendo spokesperson, in a statement released to the press. “Standard commercials and web ads are proving less and less effective. But with Mom-Texts, even if the user just picks up their phone for a second, scoffs, and goes back to playing Fortnite, that’s still more engagement than any regular ad. With that in mind, we targeted moms across the globe in hopes that they would text their kids about the Mario movie.”

Mrs. Barnes was more than happy to speak about being part of a targeted ad campaign for her son.

“I found out about the movie while I was scrolling through Facebook,” said Mrs. Barnes. “I saw a video of this cute little mushroom guy. While I was commenting on how he reminded me of my Jakey, I saw it was an ad for a Mario movie. I clicked on it, and it said, ‘Tell your kids! They definitely don’t know about this.’ The first thing I did was send it to Jake. I’m glad I could be the one to tell him.”

Jake Barnes spoke out on being one of the first to experience Mom-Texts.

“I’m not exactly sure why she texted me. I live right downstairs,” said Barnes from his apartment in the basement. “The text said, ‘Did you see there’s a Mario Movie coming out? Looks fun. Love you!’ with a Facebook Watch link. Turned out to be that teaser from 6 months ago with the penguins. It’s been so long, I actually thought it was new footage for a second.”

After the success of the Nintendo campaign, Barnes will reportedly partner with Microsoft to text her nieces and nephews about the Minecraft movie.

Man Uses ChatGPT to Write Suicide Note

Posted on by Jeremy Kaplowitz

FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local depressed man Matthew Watkins reportedly used AI chatbot ChatGPT to write his suicide note, according to worried friends and family members.

“Hello ChatGPT. Write me a letter to say goodbye to the people in my life and that explains why I want to end it all, which is due to a combination of depression and several problems in my life all arising at once,” Watkins reportedly wrote to the AI before it spit out 400 words cobbled together from sample suicide notes it found on Google. “I want to say goodbye. But I am not a very good writer. Thank you for help.”

According to close sources, upon finding the note, Watkins’ loved ones were deeply concerned and immediately reached out to him to urge him against self-harm. Watkins’ ex-wife Lucy Rowe reportedly sent him a lengthy message on Instagram telling him how important he is to her.

“Matthew, we all love you so much and need you to stick around. Please don’t do anything rash. I know things have been really tough — and I understand losing your writing job to AI has been a devastating blow — but please just call me, we can talk this through,” said Rowe’s heartfelt message, also generated using ChatGPT. “I really hope you see this. I still love you, Matthew. Regenerate response?”

The suicide note, which was posted to social media along with a grisly blood-soaked image of Watkins, was quickly discovered to have been created by Midjourney after loved ones realized each hand tightly gripping a large knife had nine fingers.

“It’s incredibly tough to see he’s hurting, and I hope he lets us help him get through this,” said Watkins’ friend Colin Miles. “Honestly, the fact that he wrote anything at all — and the fact that he asked for help, even if it’s from an AI — means that he’s still holding on. He’s a terrific guy and an even better writer, so the fact that he is resorting to ChatGPT to write anything at all is maybe the grimmest part of this all.”

At press time, Watkins was thankfully alive and safe at a nearby hospital after following instructions on how to kill himself that were described to him by an AI chatbot.

Diablo IV Restores Blindness to Millions of Blizzard Fans

Posted on by Tiago Manuel

In a move that would make Mr. Beast weep, Blizzard restored everyone’s faith in one of gaming’s most famously awful companies with the Diablo IV beta. Yes, Activision Blizzard might have spent the past few years in an uninterrupted plunge from the pedestal it occupied among gamers, but that’s over as the company just pulled off a sick 540 kickflip and stuck the perfect landing.

Activision Blizzard ran a neat open beta preview of Diablo IV from March 24 to 27, with an early access period of March 17-19. The beta features a fresh new set of moves, looks, and a druid (that sucks apparently). It also introduces the most nightmarish villain Blizzard execs could’ve ever devised, a devil who’s a woman. Now seriously, the beta mostly rocked and we’re hoping that the final game will have fixed what people say they hated about Diablo 3 despite their 4000+ hours of playtime.

The thing most people have raved about Diablo IV is how it bridges the gap between the classic RPG and the MMORPG genres farther than any previous game in the series. The open world is richer than ever, and a lot of the randomization has stepped aside to give room to stronger level and game design. There are more shared elements than ever, such as world bosses, and more focus on open-world interactions.

Blizzard either made the genre popular in the first place, or straight-up brought it to the shape that we know and love today. We might be looking at the game that will inspire the upcoming MMORPGRPGs, or at the game that’ll inspire enough soulless clones to make us all retroactively despise Diablo IV.

Now here’s what didn’t go swimmingly. Aside from the pre-purchasers and the heroes who’d earned the right to early access by risking an early grave via buying the KFC Double-Down sandwich (yes, that’s real), getting into the beta was no easy task. The open beta, perhaps in a misguided attempt to score nostalgia points, featured the very same type of massive queue-causing connection issues that have plagued every single Blizzard event since the advent of digital devil hunting.

Diablo early access costs $8.99 and approx. 3.2 months off your lifespan

Still, even glaring lag issues couldn’t prevent the beta from becoming not merely a resounding success, mind you, but the biggest and most successful beta in Blizzard history. Most players left feeling highly satisfied by the time they got the boot on March 27. Even those who not even once managed to log in are claiming to have totally enjoyed the slaying of oh-so-many diablos out of fear of getting socially rejected by hardcore RPG gamers.

Hell yeah! One good game was all it took for players to realize that Blizzard’s sins weren’t those of serial sexual harassment, attempted cover-up of said sexual harassment, union busting, or possibly even busting nut inside a room with a shrine dedicated to some suspicious magician called Bill Cosby. Yes, that’s also real.

It turns out that Blizzard’s real crimes were Diablo 2 Resurrected (3.1 user score on Metacritic), the Burning Crusade Classic re-release (0.7 user score on Metacritic), and Warcraft 3 Reforged (0.6 user score on Metacritic) – all crap that conveniently came out when Bill Cosby was in prison and thus unable to inspire Blizzard’s A level stuff.

Diablo IV comes out on June 6, unless Bill Cosby goes to prison once again or is put into a position that prevents him from fully enjoying the game. Of course, you could prepurchase the Digital Deluxe Edition for a 4 day head start if that’s worth $20 to you. Paid early access might be BS, but we’re just happy we don’t need to eat more KFC Double-Downs.

Resident Evil 4 Remake Best Weapons & How To Get Them in RE4

Posted on by Tarun Sayal

Similar to its predecessors, Resident Evil 4 Remake features a wide variety of weapons that players can use to tackle their enemies. However, not every weapon is equally effective, and some stand out from the rest. With so many firearms to choose from, it can be daunting for players to determine which ones are the best. Therefore, we’ve compiled a list of the top Resident Evil 4 Remake weapons to help them make an informed choice.

Best Resident Evil 4 Remake Weapons – Red9

Red9 is by far the best handgun that Resident Evil 4 Remake has to offer. It’s a 9mm semi-automatic pistol that comes with notable recoil. The Red9’s appearance takes inspiration from the Mauser C96, a weapon from World War I, and features its iconic integral box magazine.

However, handling its recoil can be challenging, especially for newcomers. Fortunately, players can buy a stock from the Merchant to improve its accuracy. Combined with other upgrades, it can become one of the strongest weapons in Resident Evil 4 Remake.

Players can get the Red9 handgun in Resident Evil 4 Remake during their Chapter 4 playthrough, where they can use a boat to explore a lake. By docking at a small shipwreck in the middle of the lake, players can find a treasure in the control room and a special ornamental blue treasure case at the front of the boat. Inside the case, they’ll discover the powerful Red9 handgun.

Stingray

If you’re looking for a reliable weapon to take down enemies in Resident Evil 4 Remake, the Stingray rifle is one of the top picks. With its exceptional accuracy and power, this gun is perfect for targeting enemies’ vulnerabilities. It also boasts remarkable penetration capabilities and can fit with different scopes.

The best part is the Stingray rifle stands out with its transparent magazine that displays the remaining rounds in real time. Although the damage output of this gun is not particularly high, it excels in dealing triple damage to weak points. This feature is especially effective against enemies with vulnerable areas, such as the flower-headed plaga monsters or bosses with exposed weak spots.

You can purchase the Stingray from the Merchant during Chapter 7 for 15,000 Pesetas. We recommend that you get a rifle and scope as a combined set to take out enemies from a distance effectively.

Best Resident Evil 4 Remake Weapons – Bolt Thrower

The Bolt Thrower is a silent weapon in Resident Evil 4 Remake that can immobilize enemies, and its bolts can be reused. The Bolt Thrower functions differently from other weapons because it uses bolts as ammo for attacking enemies at close to medium ranges. Unlike other ammunition types, these bolts can be retrieved after being fired, even if they hit an enemy. 

This ammo recycling feature proves increasingly beneficial as players progress through the game and face larger groups of enemies or tougher monsters. The Bolt Thrower has a power of 1.20, a reload speed of 0.78, a rate of fire of 0.70, and a precision of 3.00. It holds 3 rounds and takes up 8 inventory slots.

One can get Bolt Thrower in Resident Evil 4 Remake weapon from Merchant in Chapter 2 by spending 10,000 pesetas. However, if you’re running low on money, you can purchase this weapon for just 8,000 pesetas during the sale in Chapter 3.

Riot Gun

The riot gun, which is one of the best weapons in Resident Evil 4 Remake.

Having a shotgun is crucial for your inventory, and the Riot Gun is the best weapon in its category. Its superior power and ammo capacity make it a better choice than the W-870 Shotgun, which will still serve as your go-to weapon for most of the game.

On top of that, the semi-automatic Riot Gun stands out with its potent damage, manageable recoil, and decent firing speed. Its great effectiveness and firing speed makes it an ideal shotgun for taking on bosses and mini-bosses.

Players can purchase the Riot Gun from the merchant, starting in Chapter 6, for 28,000 pesetas.

Best Resident Evil 4 Remake Weapons – Rocket Launcher

The Rocket Launcher stands out as one of the most destructive weapons in Resident Evil 4 Remake. The weapon is capable of dealing devastating damage to countless enemies. The Rocket Launcher’s power truly shines when used against bosses and challenging foes that appear later in the game. No other weapon can rival its ability to inflict massive damage, making it the go-to choice for players looking to take down the toughest opponents.

To use the Rocket Launcher, players must first take time to aim with the scope before firing. The launcher can only shoot a single rocket before being thrown away. Players should be cautious when firing it up close, as it may cause them to take damage or flinch from the blast.

Players can buy the Rocket Launcher directly from the merchant, who sells it in the middle of the Castle section. The weapon is quite expensive, costing 500,000 gold, but players who prioritize saving their currency and avoiding unnecessary expenses should have enough to make the purchase. You can also buy a rocket launcher with infinite ammo in RE4 when you play new game plus.

Resident Evil 4 Infinite Ammo Guide: How to Get it in RE4 Remake

Posted on by Noah Hunter

Resident Evil 4 is a game where ammo is scarce, making some players wish they could have infinite ammo. Luckily, while it isn’t a complete solution, you can find three different weapons that can be upgraded to utilize infinite ammo! Whether you’re making your way through the main quest or trying to go back and find missing blue medallions at the Farm, having infinite ammo will be a great help.

Resident Evil 4 is the latest remake from Capcom, which reimagines the original 2005 release of Resident Evil 4. Throughout the game, there are countless sections you will encounter where ammo will be extremely scarce. This can be extremely challenging when facing off against certain bosses or enemies in hordes. Luckily, like most Resident Evil titles, Capcom has a few weapons with unlimited ammo modes you can unlock throughout your playthrough of RE4.

How to Unlock Infinite Ammo in Resident Evil 4

There are a total of three different weapons that you can unlock infinite ammo with in RE4. The following weapons have the ability to unlock unlimited ammo.

  • Rocket Launcher
  • Handcannon
  • Chicago Sweeper

For the Rocket Launcher, you will only be able to unlock this weapon by starting a playthrough of New Game Plus. Here, you can acquire the Infinite Rocket Launcher from the Merchant. Once you first visit his stand, you’ll be able to purchase the Infinite Rocket Launcher for 2,000,000 pesetas.

As for the Handcannon and Chicago Sweeper, these weapons will require you to fully upgrade them. Once you purchase all of the available upgrades for both of these weapons, the exclusive upgrade for both the Handcannon and Chicago Sweeper unlocks infinite ammo for each of them.

With the benefits of infinite ammo, your Resident Evil 4 speedrun times can drastically diminish as you race to earn all those trophies!

TikTok Chef Nods at End of Video to Confirm Food Tastes Good

Posted on by Kyle Duggan

NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — The man in charge of a TikTok cooking account has begun smiling and nodding at the camera to indicate to viewers that the food he makes is palatable, sources have confirmed.

“My views were in the basement,” said Joshua Briller, the pastry chef who runs the @brillerbaking account. “People were leaving comments like, ‘What? All that work and I still don’t know what it tastes like! This is bullshit!’ I tried adding captions and voiceover describing the flavors, but nothing was working. Out of desperation, I just started taking a bite and nodding, and suddenly all of my posts were going viral. I finally feel like those four years at Johnson and Wales were worth it.”

Briller’s followers said they appreciate his content much more since he started nodding.

“Honestly, when his old videos showed up on my FYP, I had no idea what I was looking at,” said Alex Luca, who says she views over eight hours of TikTok content every day. “A bunch of powder gets mixed in with eggs and water, and then there’s a cake? I figured it was one of those accounts that posts nonsense to waste your time. Then in one video he took a bite, and I was like, ‘Oh, it’s food.’ And it must be tasty, because he smiled and nodded as he was chewing!”

Other content creators have incorporated Briller’s technique into their own videos.

“Oh, I stole that trick right away,” said Jason Hanks, who runs a woodworking TikTok account that posts mostly ASMR content. “Now I always nod after I slip a dove joint into place or finish sawing a clearly outlined piece of lumber. It’s a great way to let viewers know that everything has gone according to plan and the video is about to end. People come to TikTok to relieve anxiety, not seek it out. That’s also why I always use the same five songs as background music for all of my posts.”

At press time, Briller was seen smiling and nodding after taking a bite of a cake pop shaped like a garden gnome, only to spit out a mouthful of fondant as soon as the recording ended.

Lego Set Comes With Extra Pieces Just In Case 34 Year Old Can’t Follow Simple Instructions

Posted on by Kevin Podas

CLEVELAND — Upon receiving the Seinfeld LEGO building set, 34-year-old Victor Idzelis was relieved to find that the kit came with extra pieces just in case he lost track of any of the brightly colored blocks typically meant for children.

“I can’t tell you what a relief it was,” remarked Idzelis. “Finding out that there were extra pieces made me a lot less worried about fumbling them and losing them on the floor, or worse yet, using them in the wrong step of the building process. I want Jerry’s apartment to look exactly like it does in the show, and thankfully if I lose my George, they included an extra one in here.”

Idzelis, a lifelong LEGO maniac, reflected on how LEGO’s products have changed over time.

“I remember one time when I was a kid, I lost one of the battle droids in the Phantom Menace set,” lamented Idelis. “And wouldn’t you know it, that was the only one in the box. I had to use my Easter money to re-buy the set just to have the extra droid, so it would have been nice if they included spares back then, but apparently not. Or maybe I just lost them both, I can be kind of forgetful like that sometimes.”

According to those familiar with the situation, LEGO purposely includes extra pieces for adult consumers.

“Let me be perfectly clear: LEGO is for children. But unfortunately, we have these adult customers we cannot shake. And that means we need to include a few extra protections for them,” said LEGO CEO Niels B. Christiansen. “These are grown men and women who are addicted to apps on their phones, who walk into rooms unsure why they walked into them, and who haven’t read a book since skimming one for an English class in college. LEGO instructions might as well be an ancient tome to them. They need our help.”

At press time, Idzelis was seen fumbling through the trash trying to find the instruction manual he mistakenly threw out.