Jeremy Kaplowitz
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March 12, 2020
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — The perverted Dr. Mario has disgraced the medical community once again after stitching together three goomba victims…
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Peter Casciato
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March 12, 2020
BEAVERTON, Ore. — Friends and family of Magic: The Gathering enthusiast Gabe Roberts have said that the once-casual player has…
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Jimmy Beliakoff
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March 12, 2020
NEW YORK — Upon returning from a shopping trip to the Rockefeller Center Nintendo shop, gaming enthusiast Amy Weiss was…
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Grant Mulitz
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March 11, 2020
DULUTH, Minn. — Claiming it’s been the cheapest and most accessible health power-up since getting kicked off of his parents’…
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Jay Miller
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March 11, 2020
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Dungeon Master Daniel Hyde recently finished writing his ideal D&D campaign and released the final draft…
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TOKYO — Acclaimed anime director Hayao Miyazaki has recently released an annual schedule of when he’ll be coming in and…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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March 10, 2020
WASHINGTON — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has placed a temporary ban on playing the game Assassin’s Creed…
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Joe Tilleli
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March 10, 2020
PHOENIX — The Democratic National Committee released new qualification criteria for the upcoming debate on March 15th, requiring that participants…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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March 10, 2020
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Justin Curry’s post on Reddit’s r/relationship_advice under the username u/throwawaythekeys92 did absolutely nothing to hide his identity…
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James Gavigan
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March 10, 2020
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at MIT’s Center for Theoretical Physics were shocked to discover that the universe as we know…
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