August 9, 2017 Star Wars Battlefront 2 Announces Jar Jar Binks as Killable Character Star Wars Battlefront 2 Announces Jar Jar Binks as Killable Character EA Games and DICE have announced that those who pre-order the highly anticipated Star Wars Battlefront 2 will receive the ability to execute the famously…
August 7, 2017 MMA Fighters Spend First Round Figuring out Their Moves MMA Fighters Spend First Round Figuring out Their Moves NEWARK, N.J. — A match-up on the undercard of last night’s Mayhem at the Metro event began unusually, as both fighters spent the first found…
August 6, 2017 Bran Stark Looks Into Future, Spoils Game of Thrones For Himself Bran Stark Looks Into Future, Spoils Game of Thrones For Himself WINTERFELL — Noted greenseer Brandon Stark leaked the future of his family’s story to himself much to his own dismay on Saturday night. Bran Stark,…
July 22, 2017 Next Star Wars Spin-Off Tells Origin Story of Giant Yellow Letters Flying Through Space Next Star Wars Spin-Off Tells Origin Story of Giant Yellow Letters Flying Through Space SAN DIEGO — Disney executives revealed the premise of another movie in the Star Wars anthology film series today at San Diego Comic-Con, entitled Space…
July 16, 2017 Game of Thrones Show Now Ahead of Local Man’s Masturbation Fantasies Game of Thrones Show Now Ahead of Local Man’s Masturbation Fantasies OAK HILL, Tenn. — Hit TV show Game Of Thrones will officially surpass the plot of Nashville-area resident Drew Cale’s nightly self-pleasuring daydreams with the premiere…
July 14, 2017 Backwoods Meth Tweaker Pumped About WWE2K18 Soundtrack Backwoods Meth Tweaker Pumped About WWE2K18 Soundtrack DALLAS — Travis Skode, a local scrap collector and long time crystal meth addict, proclaimed his satisfaction with the most recent soundtrack of 2K’s WWE2K…
July 6, 2017 Marvel Reboots Spider-Man Movie During Your Popcorn and Slushie Run Marvel Reboots Spider-Man Movie During Your Popcorn and Slushie Run NEW YORK — After leaving to buy snacks midway through a screening of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Liam Brewster was shocked to discover that Marvel had already…
June 22, 2017 Bill Maher Apologizes for Using Racial Slur During Overwatch Match Bill Maher Apologizes for Using Racial Slur During Overwatch Match LOS ANGELES — Bill Maher apologized on Friday night’s broadcast of Real Time after using a hateful epithet during a recent online match of the…
June 19, 2017 Football Coach Wins 5 Championships by Calling Only Fake Field Goals Football Coach Wins 5 Championships by Calling Only Fake Field Goals JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Seattle head coach Mike Rubino celebrated his fifth Super Bowl win Sunday night after calling exclusively fake field goals on his way…
