Tabletop Games Archives - Page 9

DM In Over Their Head After Player Character Decides to Go to Therapy

James Knapp • July 31, 2021

HARRISBURG, Penn. — Dungeon Master Stan Wixler is reportedly “way out of his element” after one of the player characters…

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D&D Players Spend 4 Hours Choosing How to Spend Reward for Puzzle They Solved in 10 Minutes

Joseph Stilwell • July 15, 2021

AKRON, Ohio — A local Dungeons & Dragons group reportedly spent four hours this weekend choosing how to spend the…

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New Edition of Catan Replaces Rulebook With Friend Who’s Played Before

Gabe Porter • July 8, 2021

BREUBERG, Germany — Settlers of Catan designer Klaus Teuber announced a new version of his acclaimed board game that replaces…

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Man Grows Concerned After Tarot Card Reader Pulls Out Bag of Damage Counters

Walker MacDonald • July 4, 2021

ANTONIO BAY, Calif. — Local man Jay McCarrol experienced a deep sense of dread this week as a fortune teller…

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Man Suddenly Realizes He Got Fucking Hosed in Pokémon Trade 20 Years Ago

Dan Luberto • July 4, 2021

ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Local man Dave Roberts is reportedly distraught after realizing he got fucking hosed in a Pokémon card…

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Report: Local Wizard About to Do Some Major Orb Shit

Naomi Krause • July 2, 2021

MADISON, Wis. — Notorious local spellcaster Angwyn Abernant has been spotted fondling his crystal ball for five hours straight, with…

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Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’

Naomi Krause • June 27, 2021

MIDDLETON, Wis. — Local dipshit and occasional tabletop gamer Christian Taylor has cancelled on his supposedly regular Dungeons and Dragons…

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Millennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has a Few Empty Sleeves

Seth Finkelstein • June 12, 2021

EVANSTON, Ill. — 28-year-old bartender Grace Federman reportedly discovered several empty sleeves in her retirement portfolio after going through the…

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Bishop Zips Across Chessboard Outta Fuckin Nowhere

Chandler Dean • June 8, 2021

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — In a major blow that took place just seconds into one of his first casual games,…

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D&D Player Fails Stealth Check for Fart at Table

John Dixon • May 23, 2021

WEATHERFORD, Okla. — A local tabletop roleplaying group is in disarray after player Joel Robinson failed the stealth check necessary…

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