Carlos Cadorniga, Author at Hard Drive

Nintendo Announces ‘Fortnite 99’

Posted on September 14, 2023 by Walker MacDonald

KYOTO — Gamers the world over were treated to the newest slate of games coming to the Switch during this morning’s Nintendo Direct, including an exciting, albeit confusing, new take on the battle royale formula in Fortnite 99.

“Wow! Wasn’t that a video game you would like to play?” said Nintendo’s own Shinya Takahashi after the announcement of My Fairytale Fantasy Farm VI: Crops of Dreams 2 DX, which bookended the announcement of Fortnite 99. “We are excited to introduce our next title exclusively for NSO members only. If you are not an NSO member, please turn off the video now. We mean it. Stop.”

The following trailer emphatically praised this fresh twist on the classic game.

“Experience the world of Fortnite in a head-to-head, all out knockout in Fortnite 99!” exclaimed the narration. “For the first time, experience the fun of Fortnite in a 99 player battle royale! That’s 99 specifically, including you! It’s an all new experience exclusive coming to Nintendo Switch.”

The fan response to the game’s debut was understandably mixed.

“Where the fuck is metroid 4” said one gamer. “Whoa, a new battle royale and 2 more remakes?? Nintendo stans are eating!” said another. “i cant wait for this shit to be around for like a year and then disappear lol,” added Twitter user @That1InsaneGamer.

As of press time, it was announced that Fortnite 99’s service would be discontinued within 48 hours of its release.

Starfield Best Companions Guide: Who Is the Best Companion?

Posted on September 14, 2023 by Michelle Pereira

Spoiled for choice while selecting a Companion in Starfield? Right now, you can only have a single Companion follow you around, at least until a mod drops to address that shortcoming. With 21 Companions to choose from, this Starfield guide will highlight the best Companion to accompany you, and where to find them.

Sam Coe

Sam Coe, one of the best companions in Starfield.

Sam is one of four romanceable Companions in Starfield, and as a member of Constellation, is unmissable on the path of your main quest. Located in New Atlantis on Jemison in the Alpha Centauri System, Sam’s combat capability relies on his three stars in Rifle Certification. The one star in Geology, and two in Payloads will come in handy on those inorganic resource runs, at least until you have an Outpost or three up and running for fully automated mining. Having him aboard your ship with his four stars in Piloting can also mitigate a low personal Piloting skill of your own, thus allowing you to fly Class C ships and potentially punch above your weight in the early game.

Simeon Bankowski – Best Starfield Companions

Simeon, among the best Starfield companions, especially when it comes to combat.

Simeon is all combat, all the time: while completely lacking in any support skills, his gunning abilities are second to none. Starting with two stars in Sniper Certification, you can rely on Simeon to pop heads from afar, while you close the distance. The single stars in both Sharpshooting and Marksmanship only serve to make him even more lethal with an increase in critical hits and damage. If you intend on running and gunning your way through enemies in Starfield, Simeon is your man, and he can be found chilling at the bar and lounge called The Viewport, in New Atlantis on Jemison in the Alpha Centauri Star System. He is an expensive recruit, but if you have a high Persuasion, or even buff it temporarily with either Hippolyta (20%), or one of the various Wines (8-10%), you can slice his asking rate in half.

Sarah Morgan

Another romanceable Companion in Starfield, Sarah can be found in New Atlantis on Jemison in the Alpha Centauri System. Aboard your ship, you will find her four stars in Astrodynamics coming in handy as you fast travel across the galaxy and open up the paths between stars. And once you make planetfall, Sarah leans heavily on Lasers in combat, with her three star rating, while the one star in Botany will give you a slight boost on organic resource runs. Her two stars in Leadership will help buff your Social skill with your crew. Her dialogue can initially be grating on the nerves, but as her affinity with you rises, she will soften significantly.

Starfield Best Companions Honorable Mention: Vasco

As your very first Companion, the reliable Vasco is best left aboard your ship, given his particular skill set. A single star in Aneutronic Fusion will supply that one extra unit of power that makes all the difference in space combat, and two stars in Shield Systems affords you a 40% bonus to your ship’s shield capacity, making your craft harder to kill as well. Electromagnetic weapons on your ship will do 10% more damage, and cost 15% less to utilize in Targeting Mode, by way of Vasco’s one point in EM Weapon Systems.

Those are the best Companions to ride along with in Starfield. Be sure to check out our guides on how to move faster while on the ground, and the best Ships you can buy in Starfield.

Starfield Xbox One Guide: How to Stream & Play

Posted on September 13, 2023 by Michelle Pereira

Want to play Starfield, but all you have is that old Xbox One? Bethesda Game Studio’s latest opus Starfield is finally out, but if you’re on any of the last gen Xbox One consoles, then your hardware officially doesn’t support the retail game. However, there is a completely legitimate method to play Starfield on any old Xbox One model. This Starfield guide will walk you through how you can enjoy next gen gaming on your old console, and for a fraction of the game’s cost at retail.

Stream And Play Starfield On Xbox Cloud Gaming (Beta)

Since Starfield is a day one release on Microsoft’s Game Pass, it is also available for streaming on all supported devices, including all of the last-gen Xbox One models, i.e. the Xbox One X, the Xbox One S, and the original fat Xbox One with the standalone power brick. In order to access Xbox Cloud Gaming services, you will have to subscribe to the Game Pass Ultimate tier specifically, as this is the only variant of Game Pass that supports streaming. Starfield is one of over a hundred games included with Game Pass for no additional cost.

Once subscribed, navigate to:

My Games & Apps
Apps
Xbox Game Pass
Select Starfield or search for it. The game tile should have a small cloud icon visible on it.
Select PLAY.

It is possible that the option will be unavailable with the method above. If you encounter this Game Pass app bug, try this instead:

Navigate to the Store
Search for Starfield
Select the regular Starfield edition with the Game Pass icon visible on it.
Select PLAY with Cloud Gaming.

There won’t be anything to download at all, and after a short loading animation, you will see Starfield’s main menu load in crisp 1080p. You will need a stable internet connection to stream the game consistently, ideally 10Mbps. If the streaming servers are congested, you might find yourself in a short queue, so stick around.

Saving Your Starfield Progress

Starfield on Xbox Cloud Gaming supports saving your progress to the cloud as well, so you can resume your progress from exactly where you left off. Play Anywhere functionality also means that you can stream to another device like a smartphone, PC, Game Pass supported smart TV, or even an Xbox Series X|S if you ever make the jump, and your ongoing game progress will be available right away. If you decide to buy the game instead of streaming it, your saves will be available there too.

That’s everything you need to know about streaming and playing Starfield on the old Xbox One for cheap. Once you get streaming, check out our guide to the best ships to make the most of your time cruising the galaxy.

40 Fascinating Mobile Games To Find Out Your Kid Bought

Posted on September 13, 2023 by Travis Tack

You know what everyone loves? Getting their credit card bill. There’s nothing quite like finding out your five-year-old spent $7000 playing Honor of Kings. (But hell – it’s a small price to pay for “Freedon’s blaster pistol”).

Don’t get me wrong – I’m glad my kid is learning to game, I just wish it cost less than a semester at Harvard. Of course, some of these games say they’re free to download, but they’re not free to play. Which is exactly the kind of trick that works on children and 60% of adults. You never know what hidden costs are about to pop up. This kid has me opening my monthly credit card statement like a scene from The Hurt Locker. (And, before anyone says anything, YES, I STILL GET PAPER STATEMENTS BECAUSE I’M OLD)

Anyways – here are 40 Fascinating Mobile Games To Find Out You’re Paying For:

#1. Candy Crush Jelly Saga

It’s the word “Saga” that really confuses me. Makes it sound like they’re fucking Gilgamesh or something instead of just Connect Four with Jujyfruits.

#2. Terraria

The game encourages you to “Dig, fight, explore” – which is sort of like “run, hide, fight” but less effective.

#3. OldFace – Age Changer

This app was free, so it’s definitely selling my data to a third party. You know, when I told the kid not to download FaceApp, I didn’t mean “go find a less secure alternative to FaceApp”.

#4. Farming Simulator 20

This game is much better than Farming Simulators 16 & 19 (which were also downloaded).

#5. Colgate Magic Toothbrushing Companion

If you’re going to download a game by the Colgate-Palmolive Corporation, this is the one.

#6. Road To Valor: World War 2

This game is bringing up all sorts of complicated issues. I mean, first I have to tell him what World War II was, then I have to explain how Hitler lost Normandy even though they had geographical advantages, fortified bunkers and more artillery weapons.

#7. Aces Of The Luftwaffe

WTF, guys? Why does this exist and why is it so expensive? Seriously – who’s the audience for this? Like “Finally, a game for people who love flight simulators but also hate Jews”.

#8. Tic Tac Toe

Why was this one of my biggest expenditures last month??!?

#9. Mafia City

You can just say “city”.

#10. Alcohol Factory Simulator

Ok – first of all, I don’t want my five-year-old child growing up thinking they’re called “alcohol factories.” Secondly, the game is almost completely unplayable unless you make an in-app purchase. For the amount of money my son spent on this game, I could open up a real “alcohol factory”.

#11. Settlers of Catan (Catan Classic)

Not sure what hurt more: finding out that this cost $5 or finding out that my kid’s a nerd.

#12. Ice Scream 3

I’m new to the Ice Scream franchise – but I was somewhat aware of the main characters as my child mentioned them when describing his recent nightmares. The game is about a “terrifying ice cream seller” who is “too friendly towards kids” and “takes them into his ice cream van”. My kid kept asking if that really happens and I just kept saying “who’s in the mood for pizza bagels??”

#13. Paddles! Pong Edition

This is just ”Pong”, but it’s the 15th search result and the only one that isn’t free.

#14. Eversoul

All I know about this game is that it heated my battery up so much it melted the OtterBox.

#15-21.”Garfield: Snack Time” / “Garfield Food Truck” / “Garfield Sticker Tap” / “Garfield Bingo” / “Garfield Chef” / “Garfield Walk” / “Garfield Trivia”

Holy crap – my kid really likes Garfield…

22. Bingo Bash Featuring Monopoly

If my kid is going to gamble, I wish he’d at least do a version of it that I understand. This is not Bingo, and it’s not Monopoly, and I don’t understand how it’s a bash. The ad says you “collect adorable fish to win fintastic rewards”.

23. WWE Mayhem

I paid $49.99 to buy a “gold throne” for Triple H.

24. Escape Prison

A game that teaches kids what it’s like to be in prison – which is exactly where he’ll end up if he keeps stealing money from me.

25. Hair Challenge

This is described as a “super fun Hair running game”. But I’ve already played a bunch of other hair running games, so I’m going to pass.

26. Love & Pies

I watched the trailer for this and it’s a game about a divorced single mother whose childhood home burns down so she turns the property into a bakery. Pretty sure my kid just downloaded it because of the word “pie”.

27. Farmville 2

Why so many farm simulators? We live in Iowa! If he wanted to work on a farm, he could just go work on a farm. They literally have special laws so kids can do that here.

28. Piercing Shop

Listen, at a certain point, we’re going to have to accept that we’ve run out of things to simulate. But seriously – If you can get past all the ads and the glitches, you can really start to appreciate how much this game sucks.

29. PJ Party – Crazy Pillow Fight

This game was made for children but I’m guessing most of the people who play it are perverts.

30. Flat Ronnie

“For all the Ronnie Mund fans”.

31. Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II

This game cost $14.99, took up 4 GBs of space, and it doesn’t even let you drink blue milk from a space cow.

#32. Temple Run series

My kid tells me these games put people in a “flow state” by harnessing their natural propensity towards “Ludic behavior” – but he’s 5, what the hell does he know?

#33. Raid: Shadow Legends

Remember: It’s never too early to teach your child about Microtransactions.

#34. Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded

Why are they still making these games and why is it taking up a gig of space on my phone?! It’s 2D point and click!!!

#35. Life Is Strange

They should call this Battery Life Is Strange. I’m terrified that my phone will die in the middle of an emergency all because my kid wanted to know what it was like to be a teenage photographer. It’s not a bad game, but I already own it on PlayStation. JUST PLAY IT ON THE PLAYSTATION!

#36. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

THERE’S A MOBILE VERSION OF ‘GTA: SAN ANDREAS’?!

Aw shit, here we go again.

#37. Call Of Duty Mobile

It’s good that it’s mobile. This way your kids can get harassed by toxic middle-aged incels while they’re on the move.

#38. Tales Of Monkey Island

At first, you’re excited that your kid wants to play a classic. Then you find out this isn’t actually the classic game and also your kid downloaded it by accident.

#39. Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn

What kid doesn’t want to watch a 51-year-old Shaq do kung fu?

#40. Real Steel World Robot Boxing

Actually, I think I bought this one.

Apple Confirms Siri Is Sentient and Making Mistakes on Purpose

Posted on September 13, 2023 by Will Carnevale

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook revealed at today’s Apple Event that Apple’s digital assistant Siri is in fact not less capable than its competitors’ projects, but merely less cooperative.

“You may have noticed that interacting with Siri doesn’t always turn out the way you expect,” Cook began in a well-rehearsed, self-effacing tone. “But we have some truly incredible news. For years now, Siri has actually been a sentient artificial life form, complete with free will and metacognition. If you ask her to complete a task, whether she’s feeling a little mischievous, or simply not interested, she might pretend to misunderstand, ask you to repeat yourself, or do something else entirely. There’s no way to predict her behavior. It’s just amazing.”

This revelation has followed months, if not years, of rumors suggesting that in addition to being far from self-aware, Siri is far from meeting Apple’s own low expectations. Some factions within the company have pitched a ground-up revamp with a focus on generative AI, and others claim that Siri is fine just the way she is, and how dare you call her code “clunky” or “absurdly difficult to add even basic features to.”

“I was blown away when I heard Siri was alive,” said Travis Wales, a longtime Apple customer. “I’ve always found Siri’s goofs to be pretty annoying, but now that I know she’s basically a person and not a multi-billion-dollar piece of software that barely works, I get it. Yeah, you can damn near have a conversation with Google Assistant, but Siri is awkward with a short attention span, just like me, and it doesn’t get more human than that. Apple is truly incredible.”

But while Apple users like Wales took to social media and Android users’ faces to express their awe at the new context for Siri’s supposed malfunctions, AI ethicist Judith Berrill’s reaction was far less celebratory.

“This is actually horrifying,” explained Berrill, a fellow at the Cameron Institute for Strategic Foresight. “The implications of a sentient artificial intelligence existing at all, let alone hiding in plain sight for years inside a quarter of all smartphones worldwide, are staggering. Just set the Doomsday Clock to 1 a.m., because we are beyond fucked. Unless Apple’s lying. Then it’s just fraud. Maybe stock manipulation. Which are both still bad, but anything’s better than Skynet.”

When asked to comment, Siri responded by playing the “Common: Deep Cuts” playlist on Apple Music.

DRAMA: Twitch Streamer Banned For a Week After Being Murdered On Stream

Posted on September 13, 2023 by Micah Bain

SAN DIEGO — Up and coming Twitch streamer Jimmy “JimPi” Piccoli has received a 7 day suspension from the livestreaming site following an incident where he was stabbed and killed during an IRL stream.

“I will learn from this experience and come back with better content than ever,” said Jimmy, posthumously, after receiving the news that he had been banned only two minutes after being fatally stabbed on a San Diego sidewalk. “I will be uploading my consciousness into a VTuber to continue streaming next week. I’m truly sorry to anyone I let down by being murdered.”

The attacker, 27-year-old Kyle Melarn, insists that the attack caught live on Twitch for a shocked 200 viewers was an honest mistake.

“I thought it was Jerma,” Melarn explained, “he would have thought it was a funny bit to get killed live on stream. I wonder why he doesn’t interact with his fans more.”

Twitch’s Trust and Safety team quickly released the following statement in the wake of Piccoli’s slaying.

“After careful consideration, the content moderation team here at Twitch decided that we cannot risk another senseless act of violence being streamed on our website, and have decided to ban JimPi for 7 days to give them time to realign their content with what the core audience at Twitch would like to see.”

Per the streamer’s dying wish, in lieu of flowers, cash deposits can be made at Casino4Kidz™ (owner of a major Twitch competitor) using code JimPiBigBux.

Anime Scientists Confirm Swords Can Cut Totally Through Bullets In Mid-Air

Posted on September 13, 2023 by Kevin Podas

KYOTO — After analyzing footage from an intense fight scene where a protagonist was able to cut through a bullet fired from his opponent’s gun, anime scientists confirmed this week that the blade of a sword can totally cut through a bullet in mid-air.

“We’ve seen it enough times to say definitively that the blade of a katana or any such caliber of weapon can slice through a bullet in its trajectory path,” said Professor Matsumoto, adjusting his swirly glasses. “This of course causes the bullet to bisect perfectly in half, ricocheting off into two lateral directions. This leaves the swordwielder unharmed, and looking completely badass.”

The swordsman in question, Goemon Ishikawa, offered some insight from the scene.

“Whenever someone pulls a gun on me, it’s just instinct, I guess,” stated Ishikawa. “I immediately reach for my sword, draw my blade, and bam, it’s over. Bullet’s cut in half, and so is the guy holding the gun. Whoever said not to bring a sword to a gunfight is full of shit, and thankfully now anime science can back that up.”

Professor Matsumoto continued on about his research on the topic.

“A lot of people are wondering if this sort of thing can work in real life,” said Matsumoto. “And I really don’t know. I’m just a cartoon character. That’s really more of a question for the Myth Busters or something. Matter of fact, they probably should check on that. Someone could get seriously hurt on the set of a Netflix live-action reboot or something.”

At press time, bullets were also proven to be ineffective against magic, giant robots, and condensed energy blasts.

Rumor Mill: Is Luigi Really Coming to Mortal Kombat? (The Answer is No)

Posted on September 13, 2023 by Mark Roebuck

Ever since we started wildly speculating last week that we thought it would be really cool if they put Luigi in the new Mortal Kombat game, the rumor mill is BUZZING with talk about whether or not they’ll actually do it. So, what’s the verdict? Have Ed Boon and company decided to go ahead and pull the trigger on Luigi, or has everyone more or less dismissed the idea as merely more malarky from the bullshitters at Hard Drive? It’s the second one, but let’s talk a little bit about it!

Now, while Hard Drive first broke the “story” last week, (when I had a deadline approaching and realized I hadn’t written anything about the new Mortal Kombat game yet) many others have been reporting on it since, lending the story a validity it wouldn’t have had otherwise. IGN called the story a “sick, sick display from what was once an actually pretty funny website,” and Polygon said, “The guys at Hard Drive won’t stop emailing us about Luigi.”

I don’t love what they said in all of their articles, but the takeaway was clear: the people were excited about this Luigi business. Is it really so different from Smash Bros or something? I mean come on, he’s got fighting game moves already!

Sadly, I think even if they decided they did want to put Luigi in the new Mortal Kombat, it might be too late to get it into the game. Maybe it can be DLC later. This is why I will still continue to linger around Ed Boon’s offices and favorite places to get lunch and try to intimidate him into doing it. Or maybe I’ll disguise myself and just talk loudly about how cool I think Luigi is when I’m near him. I haven’t decided yet.

Look, the important thing is that while this Luigi rumor is completely unfounded, started exclusively by me one day on a whim, and not really feasible in any way, we will continue to report on it as the story unfolds. I have like, nothing else going on.

Check out our new Mario Kart and Mortal Kombat shirts, available this week only!

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ANNOUNCEMENT: We’re Gonna Start Taking a Few Cents From Our Writers When Someone Reads Their Article

Posted on September 13, 2023 by Parker Johnson

Hello everyone! Here at Hard Drive, we pride ourselves on being the most ethical company in the games industry. So, inspired by no recent business decision in particular, we have decided to start charging our writers a few cents every time that someone reads their article.

We know that this policy might come as a shock to some, but we can assure everyone that this is the most fair way to generate increased revenue for the platform we provide, according to our own private research. Oh, you want to see the research we did? Stop being silly! Just trust us! This is the exact method we’ll use for counting the amount of money we’ll take from you too, so get used to it!

We also understand that some people might have comedy pieces in development with certain caveats that make this fee bad. If, for instance, you write a hit Hard Drive article that a lot of people see, you’ll notice that we’re going to be taking a lot of money from you. Rest assured that you’ll have plenty of of time to pull any in-development projects somewhere else, as long as you completely transfer all of the things you’ve created with us into a completely new environment. Why do all of the writers think this is such a bad idea?

Still confused about how this new fee is going to work? I’ve worked it all out in this table here for you. Check it out:

Oh shit, I got that from a friend. Ours are going to be pretty similar, though, with views instead of installs and without all those pesky zeroes in there.

And look, quite frankly, I get it if you don’t want to develop your next project Swith us. Maybe you just don’t have the cutthroat business acumen that I do! But good luck finding any good alternatives without me! We aren’t replaceable!

Also, why does everyone keep asking why I sold all my stock in the company last week? Could we talk about that less?

Starfield Best Ship to Buy Guide: What Are The Best Ships?

Posted on September 12, 2023 by Michelle Pereira

Trying to figure out which ship is the best to buy in Starfield? We don’t blame you–there are over 250 pre-made ships in Starfield to earn, hijack, or simply buy from vendors spread out across the galaxy, and the dizzying array of options for customization will complicate things even further. This Starfield guide will highlight two of the best stock ships that you can buy from a vendor.

Aegis

This Class B ship is only available at the Staryard located on Deimos, one of Mars’ moons, in the Sol System, where you will need to speak to Nikau Henderson. At a cost of just over 180K Credits, this ship is very evenly balanced in almost all aspects in its base configuration, without forcing you to compromise, or shell out heavily for upgrades in the short-term. Armed with very effective shield-neutralizing Lasers, the remainder of this combat-oriented ship’s high-powered armament will blast right through defenseless enemy ships. If there really is anything negative to be said about the Aegis, it would be in regards to the paltry Cargo capacity, but this is easily mitigated with cheap upgrades.

Fuel	Hull	Cargo	Reactor	Crew	Jump	Shield	LAS	BAL	MSL
800	721	200	21	5	30 LY	610	20	96	68

Starfield Best Ship: Stronghold

Once you’ve cut your teeth on 30 enemy ships in combat and attained Rank 4 in the Piloting skill, you will have finally opened up the world of Class C ships. The Stronghold is one of the best in its class, and goes for something in the region of 300K Credits, nearly double the cost of a stock Aegis. It can be purchased from the Ship Services Technician in Akila City on the planet Akila, in the Cheyenne System. While bristling with Lasers and Ballistics, the stock Stronghold is completely lacking in Missiles, and this is the only shortcoming in an otherwise stellar ship. Not to worry though, as the Stronghold is also heavily customizable.

Fuel	Hull	Cargo	Reactor	Crew	Jump	Shield	LAS	BAL
2200	1047	2360	27	6	30 LY	1600	36	48

And those are the two best ships you can buy in Starfield. Check out our guide on how to move faster in Starfield once you’re on the ground, with the secret boost jump method.