Sci-Fi Factory Game Techtonica Lets Player Build Up Alien Planet Because, Let’s Be Real, Earth Is Long Dead in Anything Set More Than 20 Years From Now

BOSTON — Techtonica, a new science fiction video game by indie studio Fire Hose Games, sets the player in the caverns of an alien planet called Calyx, because, let’s be honest here for a second, it can’t take place on Earth if it’s gonna take place past the year 2043.

“When we decided we wanted to make a game set in the future, we knew right away it couldn’t be set on Earth,” said a representative from Fire Hose Games, sweltering in a record-high temperature. “We didn’t want to set the game before, I dunno, 2050. And if we did, that would mean the game would have to be a chaotic shooter that saw players murdering their neighbors in order to steal their drinking water. We wanted something a little more, you know, fun I guess? Something less contemporary.”

“That’s why our game is set on the alien planet of Calyx,” they continued. “Sure, there’s intrigue and darkness there too, but players get to build their own factories for once, instead of just toiling away at one that someone else built for their entire lives. That’s kind of the big sci-fi premise of Techtonica: hanging out on a habitable planet and having some control over how it functions. What a concept!”

Many gamers had favorable first impressions of the newly released Techtonica

“It’s a really gorgeous environment to set a game in,” said gamer Emma Conner. “And since they never politicized the weather on Calyx, it seems like it’s in good shape to hold up for a while. What a relaxing game. I like how you can explore the planet freely and there’s no time limit that makes me worry all the time, you know? Nothing’s underwater except the stuff that’s supposed to be. And since my town is currently beset by wildfires, I can just tell I’ll be playing this indoors with my air purifier all summer!” 

At press time, Bethesda announced that the next Fallout game would be set in Dallas in 2050.

This article is sponsored by Fire Hose Games! Check out Techtonica on Steam, it’s a first-person factory automation game set beneath the surface of an alien planet, and it even has co-op. But, you know, check it out sooner than later because who knows for how much longer electricity is gonna be a thing around here.

Every U.S. Senator Ranked by How Much I Want to Visit Their Animal Crossing Island

It’s a little known fact that every U.S. Senator is issued a Nintendo Switch and a copy of Animal Crossing: New Horizons. The NSA does a really good job of making sure that all photographic and video evidence of their towns is obliterated from the internet, but if you look hard enough, you can find written accounts from players who have visited a senator’s island. I have undertaken the painstaking effort of tracking down these descriptions, synthesizing them, and compiling them in one place, ranked in order of how interested I am in seeing each senator’s island.

Note for those of you who failed civics class: AOC is in the House of Representatives, not the Senate. Not only is she not featured in this ranking, these senators are actually legally prohibited from adding her to their Friends Lists. 

100 — Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif.

Unfortunately, I wouldn’t be able to visit this island even if I wanted to, as the save has been corrupted. It’s time to start a new file.

99 — Cindy Hyde-Smith, R-Miss.

It’s just a mess. Garbage everywhere, overgrown with weeds. I’m concerned that the airport isn’t in good enough condition for me to safely land. And that is to say nothing of the fact that her island is still flying the Confederate flag.

98 — Roger Wicker, R-Miss.

I don’t want to stereotype, but there’s a reason that Mississippi is at the bottom of all of these lists. The island is impossible to navigate. He just refused to build bridges. I guess he says the federal government should pay for them? That doesn’t even make sense.

97 — Kyrsten Sinema, I-Ariz.

She has done nothing to upgrade her island since she unlocked the Able Sisters. All she has done since the store opened is visit it to check for new eyewear. This has been her exact routine every day for the past three years.

96 — John Boozman, R-Ark.

Apparently he repeatedly gifts his villagers eye gauze until they wear it. I guess he was an optometrist or something before he was a senator? I don’t know. It just makes me uncomfortable.

95 — Ben Cardin, D-Md.

There’s not much information available about what Senator Cardin’s island looks like. Apparently he waits by the airport and immediately asks all guests what crimes they think should receive the death penalty. He directs them to be as specific as possible and will boot players who don’t engage in the discussion. Few have stayed long enough to actually see the rest of his island.

94 — John Hoeven, R-N.D.

He quit after the first month, when Nintendo lowered the interest rates for savings accounts at the Bank of Nook. Hoeven released a statement saying that while he agreed with the decision to lower the rates, it simply no longer made economic sense for him to play the game.

93 — Eric Schmitt, R-Mo.

Schmitt’s island is, frankly, embarrassing. It’s full of half-finished displays, as though he just launches into projects that excite him without any forethought. And — not for nothing — he hasn’t finished paying off his home loan. He hasn’t even made any payments since the final upgrade.

92 — Susan Collins, R-Maine

The entire island is just tree stumps and holes because she added Trump to her close friends list and he keeps coming over and trashing the place. Every time, she releases a statement that she’s sure he’s learned his lesson.

91 — Daniel S. Sullivan, R-Alaska

On the day the game launched, Senator Sullivan crafted a shovel, located each rock on the island, and destroyed them. Every single morning, he boots the game and breaks the rock that respawned. Then he saves and quits. He has done nothing else.

90 — Mike Braun, R-Ind.

Senator Braun returned the game to Walmart in a huff after he saw two different types of animal having a conversation.

89 — John Neely Kennedy, R-La.

Never bothered developing his island. He still lives in a tent. Honest to God, the only furniture inside is a pet food bowl.

88 — Rick Scott, R-Fla.

Honestly, I don’t even care about his island or if it’s well-designed. I really don’t want to see what his Villager looks like. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

87 — Ted Budd, R-N.C.

Abandoned his island and added Animal Crossing to the list of media his kids aren’t allowed to experience after digging up a fossil for the first time.

86 — John Fetterman, D-Pa.

Sure, he hasn’t had as much time with the game as most of his peers, but Senator Fetterman’s island is still unimpressive, even given that context. Reportedly, he prefers to play his old copy of New Leaf, as he likes being referred to as “Mayor.”

85 — Alex Padilla, D-Calif.

Senator Padilla followed all of the directions in the official Animal Crossing strategy guide. He’s at a complete loss as to why his island looks like garbage.

84 — Ronald Harold Johnson, R-Wis.

Senator Johnson’s staff maintains an island in his name, but they haven’t developed it at all. Ron Johnson himself has been barred from using any Nintendo network service following a 2006 incident at a McDonald’s involving PictoChat.

83 — Tom Carper, D-Del.

He just begs visitors to look at his Happy Home Paradise creations, claiming that they somehow prove that charter schools work. But, like, they’re not even real schools. I’m not sure he understands how education works.

82 — Mitch McConnell, R-Ky.

He quit playing pretty early, so his island is very underdeveloped. Apparently he lost interest after learning that Tortimer wasn’t in the base game, and felt he was just too far behind once the Harv’s Island update dropped.

81 — Chris Coons, D-Del.

His island seems pretty cool, until you check out his house and see the Reagan campaign poster in the basement.

Everything You Need to Know About The ‘Barbie’ Movie

Greta Gerwig’s Barbie movie finally releases this week! But that’s basically forever from now. So here’s everything you absolutely have to know about the movie before going to see it in a few days.

It Will Inspire the Most Boring Couple You Know’s Halloween Costume This Year

The girl will have an immaculate, one-to-one Barbie outfit complete with hair and makeup, and the boyfriend will just slap a logo on a henley shirt he already owned.

It’s Not Real

Director Greta Gerwig has stressed that while they appear realistic, the actors and events onscreen are just moving pictures and cannot hurt you.

It’s a Funny Joke If You’re a Man Who Wants to See It

Being a movie with women and pink, your coworkers and friends will be delighted and amused if you, a man, proclaim your affinity for the toy-based family comedy. 

It Has the Same Plot as ‘Enchanted’

Beautiful A-List movie star plays a naive, Born Sexy Yesterday woman from a fantastical fictional genre world who goes to the real world with her even more clueless romantic counterpart. Trouble and hijinks ensue when she does not understand the rules and norms of normal society in this hilarious but heartfelt fish out of water comedy. 

Margot Robbie Only Ate Filet-O-Fish Sandwiches for Six Months to Prepare for the Role

In what is either a blatant lie or strange miscommunication to the film’s star, actress Margot Robbie ate nothing but McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish sandwiches in preparation for Barbie, believing that to be the iconic doll’s favorite food. 

There Will Be an Estimated 40,000 Tweets with Screenshots Captioned ‘This Is Everything’

Early reports suggest the film will produce additional thousands of social media posts insinuating Margot Robbie ‘ate’ or Ryan Gosling is ‘giving them life’

Budget Cuts Forced Barbie to Only Wear Sweatpants and an XXL Alabama State T-Shirt

Despite several amazing Barbie outfits being featured in trailers and promotional material, the film’s budget only allowed for Margot Robbie to wear baggy soft clothes for the entire runtime 

Ryan Gosling Was Cast as Ken for His Trademark Lack of Genitalia

While his comedic timing and striking physique certainly helped his audition, director Greta Gerwig insisted Gosling played Ken after seeing his smooth, flesh-covered area where his penis and balls should be

God Announces End of Service for Popular ‘Heaven’ MMO

SAN FRANCISCO — After spending several centuries and every console generation with a sizable and loyal userbase, God has announced that the servers or popular MMO Heaven will go offline at the end of the month, sources have confirmed. 

“Frankly I was hoping we could keep Heaven going forever,” said God, in an exclusive interview with IGN that was published this morning. “I know some of our more intense fans gave the whole game a bad name, but there were millions of good natured players that just wanted a place to gather online and grind out levels and hang out with like-minded folks. Sadly, when take the Cloud access away at the end of the month, a lot of players are going to have to figure out something else. A new religion, or at the very least a new game to play.” 

Many long time Heaven users were disappointed to see their preferred MMO get taken down. 

“You always know there’s a chance, but geez, I didn’t think Heaven would shut down one day,” said Don Sloane, who’d been enjoying Heaven ever since his sudden death in 1965. “If I’d known this would happen I would’ve just worshiped Satan and gotten really into World of Warcraft or something. I hear their players are allowed to curse! I’m confused, what am I supposed to do now, exactly?” 

As of press time, a large number of former Heaven players were begrudgingly figuring out the controls for DOOM

‘Advance Wars’ Patch Forces You to Deliver News of Each Unit’s Death to Their Family

REDMOND, Wash. — A new patch to this year’s Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp will now task players with delivering the news of each unit’s death to their immediate family, sources have confirmed. 

“Okay, that seems a little far,” said local gamer Maria Riley, upon opening the game and learning of the forced update. “First I had to wait over a year for this remastered games from two decades ago to come out because of the war in Ukraine, and then when I finally get my hands on it you’re making me spend 45 minutes after every battle going to various towns in America and telling them their son or husband was lost in a hail of rockets via long and emotional dialogue scenes? I think I’m just gonna play Mario Kart or something.” 

The developers of Advance Wars stood by their decision to reflect the weight of the wartime atrocities depicted in their strategy game. 

“Although our games may appear to be harmless depictions of a fictional war, it’s actually of the utmost importance that we do everything we can to remind users of the horrors of real war while they play it,” said James Montagna, director of Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp. “That’s why in addition to notifying family members in game of their loved one’s ultimate sacrifice, you will also have to endure a grueling six week boot camp, six weeks in real life I mean, before you can start the game’s campaign. It’s absolute hell for the player. We’re very excited.”  

The new patch for the game is now available. As of press time, Nintendo had set up a table at a nearby shopping mall in an effort to recruit new Advance Wars players. 

Exoprimal Best Suits Guide: What Are the Best Exoprimal Suits?

When it comes to facing waves of dinosaurs pouring out of vortexes, using the best suits in Exoprimal is your safest route to victory. While each suit has its own strengths, some of them have a more complete kit than others, making them a great pick for most situations.

In Exoprimal, you have to complete missions – and survive – where you might need to defeat 200 dinosaurs or protect specific spots from waves of hundreds of dinos. The weapons you have at your disposal are the available exosuits, humanoid armors with a variety of abilities to use and assist your team. 

The Best Suits in Exoprimal

The suits in Exoprimal work as characters, not only because each of them has a sort of distinct personality – different voice lines for example – but also due to their skills, weapons, and roles. The suits are split into three categories in the game Assault, Tank, and Support, and the teams have a total of five players. However, different from other games with a structure of roles like this one, such as Overwatch 2, Exoprimal doesn’t force an exact number of each role to complete a team. In other words, you can have only support and tank suits in your party. While you decide on the suits you’re using at the beginning of a match, you can change them during the mission as many times as you want. 

As of the time of writing this guide, Exoprimal has a total of 10 suits available for players to use. The developers said, however, that different versions of the standard suits will be added to the game in the future. Keep in mind that this list presents the suits that stand out individually. They aren’t enough to carry a whole party by themselves, always needing other suits to complement the team. So, based on the options already available in the game, the following list of the best suits in Exoprimal goes as follows:

Best Exoprimal Suit: Murasame

Murasame, arguably the best suit in Exoprimal.

This is one of the suits that falls into the tank category and it can be either unlocked when you reach level 30 or with real money. Because of that, you might think this suit is more focused on mitigating damage and protecting enemies. This is definitely not the case with Murasame. Besides the utility this suit offers to the whole party, this samurai-like suit has a kit with a good mix of damage output, mobility, and crowd-control abilities. 

The Crescent Moon ability hits enemies around you and taunts them, making you their target instead of your teammates. Since Murasame is not as beefy as other tanks, you might need to relocate when surrounded by too many enemies or far from the support. In this case, Murasame has the Strafe Hook. By using it, you throw a hook that pulls you. While in motion, you can either perform an extra jump or a Falling Attack. Because of this ability, this suit is by far the most agile tank you can have. Another great tool Murasame has is the Vajra Counter, an ability that, once used, puts you in a defensive stance. After some time taking damage, you can use a Counter Attack, throwing enemies into the air. 

Vigilant

If Murasame excels in staying close range from enemies, Vigilant is the opposite. As one of the Assault suits, Vigilant can be summarized as the sniper suit and it can be unlocked at level 40 or with real money. Because it can attack enemies from afar, this suit gives you the upper hand either when fighting dinosaurs or other players. In general, Assault suits aren’t as squishy as the Support ones, which doesn’t mean they can take a lot of damage. So, having the possibility of staying afar from enemies is one of the main benefits of using this suit. 

Now, Vigilant has more in store than just the capacity of dealing damage from a safe position. The suit’s ability Frost Lock fires an icy cluster that freezes enemies. This is a great crowd-control ability that can be maximized if you shoot it to spray the icy fragments. Considering how useful this skill is for the rest of the party, it’s easy to see why Vigilant is one of the best suits in Exoprimal.

Witchdoctor

Witchdoctor, one of the best suits in Exoprimal.

If you don’t mind being in the frontline but want to have a key role in your team’s performance, playing as a Support suit is your best shot. The Witchdoctor shines among the other options, not only because of how solid this suit’s kit is but also due to the fact of how easy it is to perform well in the Support role when running Witchdoctor. At the same time, besides having a good healing ability, this suit also has a solid crowd-control ability that, even though it’s not the strongest among the Support suits, can be used constantly while fighting.

The Witchdoctor’s Neuro Rod is a good basic attack but it really shines because it inflicts paralysis on dinosaurs, helping you control the waves of enemies. Because this suit’s basic attack range is quite short, it’s easy to find yourself surrounded by enemies. But, with the Rescue Leap ability you can jump out of – or into – a group of enemies pretty fast.

In terms of healing, Witchdoctor has two solid skills. The first one is an area-of-effect ability called Repair Field. You create a field on the ground that heals allies who are inside of it. For more autonomous healing, you also have Feed, which allows you to heal enemies in close range as well as boost their movement speed. And with Witchdoctor’s Overdrive ability Vital Aura, you can heal all your team and boost their defense, making it a great emergency button.

And that’s all for the best suits in Exoprimal. As mentioned, while these suits are amazing individually, try to combine them with the other suits to create a powerful team. If you’re looking to enhance your loadout further, check out our picks for the best modules in Exoprimal. In case you would like to learn more about another game that can become your go-to option in-between matches, check our guides on Marvel Snap.

Exoprimal Module Guide: What Are the Best Modules in Exoprimal?

The task of defeating waves of dinosaurs that come out of interdimensional vortexes is not easy but they can be if you use the best modules in Exoprimal. While increasing just a few attributes or adding some extra abilities might not sound much, the right modules can put you closer to victory during a match.

In Exoprimal, your character wears a high-tech suit to face several types of dinosaurs that can kill you with only a couple of hits. Each suit has an identity but, by using modules, you are capable of adapting them to your play style. 

The Best Modules in Exoprimal

The best modules in Exoprimal.

Modules, in Exoprimal, work as passive skills that you can equip in order to customize a suit. There aren’t a great variety of modules in the game, making the number of combinations pretty limited. Even so, since you can equip up to three modules per suit, it does give you the chance to adapt the suit to your play style or help you focus on the suit’s strengths.

How to Equip Modules in Exoprimal

The menu showing equippable modules in Exoprimal.

To equip modules, you must access the suits in the Hangar menu. There are general modules and specific modules. The former are unlocked as your account levels up while the latter become available as you increase the suit’s level. In both cases, after reaching the required level to unlock a module, you still need to use BikCoins – the in-game currency you earn by progressing through the game – to effectively turn that module available to use. 

The following list is based on the modules available as of the time of writing this guide (shortly after release) and only mentions the general modules.

Impact Reduction Module

When this module is equipped, it reduces the damage you receive from dinosaur attacks and the knockbacks from them as well. While mitigating damage from dinosaurs is always a good option in general considering this is a game about shooting dinosaurs, reducing the effects of their knockbacks is great, since you can even die from falling out of the arena. This module is a solid pick for all the Tank suits, as well as for the Zephyr, an Assault suit focused on melee attacks or Nimbus, a Support suit that is very aggressive and requires you to get close to enemies. 

Reload Efficiency Module – Best Exoprimal Modules

One of the first modules you have access to, the Reload Efficiency Module reduces the reload and the recharge time. This might not sound much, but you just need to remember that the time you spend reloading is a period during which you don’t cause damage. If you take longer to kill the specific targets for the mission or the enemy team, the chance of losing the match is higher. And trust us, when playing suits such as Deadeye, Barrage, and Krieger, you definitely want to reduce as much as possible the time you spend reloading or recharging your weapons. 

Rig Loading Module

Rigs are special items that you can equip in all suits to add an extra layer of utility or damage to them. Each rig, however, has a cooldown and they tend to be quite longer. With the Rig Loading Module, the cooldown is reduced, allowing you to use it more consistently during fights. Because rigs can go from a simple – but powerful – laser cannon to a catapult that can help you escape from mobs of enemies or reach higher ground, this module is key for builds that rely on these abilities. 

Hi-Xol Compression Module

The Hi-Xol Compression Module increases the charge rate of your Overdrive ability. This is a pretty simple passive ability. Even so, it becomes quite useful when we take into consideration that Overdrive abilities are the most powerful skills each suit has. From a sequence of powerful slashes to massive healing, these abilities can save your team in many situations. Suits such as Witchdoctor and Skywave, for example, are some of the ones that benefit the most from this module, since you can always have a strong Support ability to use. 

Best Exoprimal Modules: Crafter’s Module

During a mission in Exoprimal, you can craft certain structures to help you when dealing either with furious dinosaurs or desperate players who want to win the match. To craft them, however, you need to use chips which eventually drop from enemies, although the rate is not high. So, to always have one of these structures ready to be crafted, you should run the Craft’s Module. It grants the chance of dropping a craft chip when a crafted structure is destroyed. Believe it or not, a cannon helping kill enemies or a wall holding their attacks might be what you needed to win a match. 

This is the list of the best modules in Exoprimal. These are general suggestions based on the standard modules that all suits have access to. When picking for a specific suit, consider mixing these modules with the ones that are unique to them. If you want to know more about other fast-paced games, be sure to check our guides on Final Fantasy XVI.

Party Planner Trying to Figure Out How to Invite Banjo But Not Kazooie

MUMBO’S MOUNTAIN — Bottles the Mole is reportedly struggling to figure out how to invite just Banjo to his BBQ party with friends.

“I love to party with Banjo. He’s got the chill surfer vibes that you would expect from someone with a shark tooth necklace. Plus he and his sister liven things up with their music,” Bottles explained. “But Kazooie… like jeez, she’s always trying to give me lame nicknames that never stick. It’s so rude! She has no interest in anything anyone says and leaves as soon as she gets what she wants from them. But apparently you can’t invite one without the other! It’s like they’re attached at the back or something and it drives me insane.”

Mutual friend Mumbo Jumbo agreed with Bottles’ intention to invite Banjo without Kazooie.

“Mole right to like bear without bird. Bird only put up with for bear’s sake. Bird try too hard to be funny badass,” Mumbo said. “Bird never relax and let moment breathe. Bird constantly trying to show everyone ‘funny’ videos on bird’s phone that are not funny. Videos straight up cruel. Why bird would want to party with people bird think better than, me don’t know. No one have heart to tell bear they should have own life once in a while.”

Banjo was isolated to be asked, hypothetically, on his thoughts of going to a party without Kazooie. Awkwardly, it turned out Kazooie was hiding in his backpack and jumped in to talk first.

“If Banjo goes to that party without me, then we’re finished as a duo. Without me they’re nothing but a flightless bore and he should never forget that. They think I’m rude? I’m just telling the truth to these boring jerks,” Kazooie said before Banjo had a chance to butt in.  “I bet that geek Bottles is going to teach everyone how to do some board game nobody cares about. I’d get all those lame-oids to be shotgunning beers like a real party.”

At the time of the party, Banjo ended up staying around his neighborhood watching Kazooie spit eggs at mailboxes.

Liam Hemsworth Reveals He Ate All Six ‘The Witcher’ Books to Prepare for Playing Geralt

LOS ANGELES — As part of his preparation to fully embody Geralt of Rivia, actor Liam Hemsworth revealed that he ate all six The Witcher novels, sources confirmed.

“Believe it or not, but before getting casted as Geralt, I’d never actually eaten a Witcher book front to back,” said Hemsworth. “But I wanted to do this role justice, so I ran to the library, checked out all the books in the series, and gulped them down right there on the spot. I would have taken a break after one or two, but once they’re halfway down your gullet, they’re hard to put down!”

“I’m really excited to show the world my version of Geralt,” he added. “I know Henry Cavill was a huge fan of the books, and now that I’ve really tasted their pages and felt them in my gut, I feel like I have a great sense of the character. And they’re not even all out of my system yet!”

Hemsworth’s fellow castmates offered their support as he joined the show’s production.

“Of course there’s been some growing pains,” said Hemsworth’s co-star, Anya Chalotra. “Like how any time Hemsworth messes up a line, he’ll tear a couple pages from the script, eat them whole, and then slowly rub his temples as if he’s harnessing his newly consumed knowledge, but that’s to be expected during this difficult transition. It must be tough to hop into the lead role mid-show like this, so even if we have to pause the shoot because Liam coughed up a furball after swallowing his Geralt wig, that’s fine with me. It’s just nice to work with someone who really cares about the job.”

Henry Cavill, the previous actor who played Geralt, commended Hemsworth’s fresh new take on the iconic character.

“They showed me Hemsworth’s audition tape. I immediately knew he was the one for the role when he pulled out a stack of Witcher 3 disks and ate them like a sandwich,” remarked Cavill. “And I’m glad he wasn’t afraid to make his own creative choices either, like how he has a muzzle strapped to his face in every scene.”

As of press time, Netflix canceled The Witcher after Hemsworth unhinged his jaw and devoured the entire cast and crew.

New Marvel Movie to Be Released Direct-to-Airplane

LOS ANGELES — Kevin Feige announced today that the upcoming MCU movie Captain America: Brave New World will be released exclusively on airplane TVs.

“We know that Marvel fans are extremely passionate about our films, and we see in our data that people are watching them more and more on the little TVs on the backs of the seats in front of them that airplanes provide,” Feige explained at an event devoid of celebrities due to the SAG-AFTRA strike. “We want to make sure that everyone gets a chance to see the next Captain America movie — which legally I have to state that Chris Evans is not in — the way they want to see it.”

“And let me be perfectly clear: this is not at all due to any waning interest in MCU movies and television. We believe that people simply prefer the ambience of an airplane in the background of our films, and enjoy taking in these incredible stories while traveling to faraway destinations,” Feige stated. “I guess they just love these movies so much that they want to experience them on the way to exciting vacations or something like that.”

Marvel fans reacted to the news with mixed emotions.

“Makes sense, I guess. The thing about watching movies on airplanes is that you can’t really hear or see anything that well. Which is why I like watching all the Marvel movies and shows I haven’t gotten around to on airplanes,” said Kathryn Decker. “You know, because it doesn’t really matter if you forget to pause while asking the flight attendant for one of those little cookies.”

“OK this is going to be EPIC!” said a r/MarvelStudios moderator. “Literally just booked a 3 hour flight to another city just so I could watch Captain America, land, hop back on the return flight, and watch it again! I hope a lot of true Marvel fans are on board, so we can all watch at the same time and CHEER when Thunderbolt Ross comes up! I REALLY hope they explain that he looks different from William Hurt’s version because of a rift in the multiverse.”

At press time, Feige revealed plans to just pretend they released Thunderbolts and see if anyone notices.

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