Ranking Every Plush I Own By How Much I Regret Its Purchase June 4, 2025 Am I someone who has a lot of shame? Does the Pope shit in the woods? The answer is, not… Read More →
Man Revisiting Game He Loved as a Child Shocked to Discover It’s More Than 2 Hours Long August 3, 2023 ARLINGTON, Texas — A 37-year-old man was recently shocked to discover a game he loved playing as a child was… Read More →
‘Advance Wars’ Patch Forces You to Deliver News of Each Unit’s Death to Their Family July 17, 2023 REDMOND, Wash. — A new patch to this year’s Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp will now task players with delivering… Read More →
Nickelodeon CEO Campaigns for U.S. to “Bring Freedom” to Nation Controlling World’s Largest Natural Deposit of Slime January 30, 2023 WASHINGTON — Nickelodeon CEO Brian Robbins has been lobbying for the United States military to “bring freedom” to the nation… Read More →
Guy Who Hates Everyone Equally Surprised to Discover the Feeling Is Mutual July 22, 2022 BELLEFONTAINE, Ohio — Local misanthrope Scott Dempsey was surprised to discover earlier today that his favorite sarcastic one liner about… Read More →
Hyrule Shop Whose One Sole Purpose Is Making and Selling Bombs Currently Out of Bombs June 15, 2022 HYRULE KINGDOM — A longstanding independently owned and operated bomb shop that is in the strict business of making and… Read More →
Opinion: Time Flies When You’re Having Fun or Playing a Magical Time-Altering Ocarina May 12, 2022 We often take for granted the time that we have on this planet. At the end of the day, we… Read More →
Link From ‘Link’s Awakening’ So Happy to No Longer Be in a Dream World But Instead Starving to Death in the Middle of the Ocean February 11, 2022 OPEN WATERS, Hyrule — Hero of legend Link was reportedly thrilled to find himself dying of hunger in the cold… Read More →
Gamer Increases Odds of Tinder Match by Holding Down-B While Swiping April 27, 2021 ATHENS, Ohio — Single gamer Evan Hughes reportedly believes that holding down and B while swiping on Tinder increases his… Read More →
So Called ‘Landlord’ Can’t Even Earth Bend June 7, 2020 ATHENS, Ohio — A group of local tenants are reportedly disappointed by their landlord’s inability to utilize even the most… Read More →