HYRULE — This week’s edition of Goron City’s comedy open mic is reportedly on it’s tenth comedian in a row testing new material exclusively about rocks, certain bored patrons of the ‘Nothin’ But Rubble Pub’ confirm.
“It was kind of a bizarre coincidence at first, but c’mon, like a dozen comedians in a row are up there looking at their notes saying ‘Didja ever notice how the bigger the rock is, the heavier it is too?’ and then it absolutely crushes with all the Gorons in the crowd” complained one Zora comedian, drying out their sopping wet moleskine. “And then, by the time I get up there to test my new chunk about steering clear of nearby Lynels, I’m going to eat shit. Ok fuck off for a second, I’m gonna write some rock jokes before they call my name, I guess.”
When asked about the prevalent geological subject matter in most of the sets, a Goron patron couldn’t have been more enthusiastic.
“Oh my god, when the one guy went up there with that bit about how tough it is to dig through solid rock because of the ‘solid’ aspect of them, I had to point to my buddy across the room, because that is SO him at work,” the Goron said, while slapping the table so hard it crumbled. “Damn, you can find humor in such random places, I guess! The rocks at work, the rocks at home, the rocks on your way to work from home. Comedy really can unite the world, huh?”
A booker for Goron City Television’s Slate Night show was also in attendance.
“These last ten comics have just had the freshest takes I’ve seen in all my years of booking comedians for Slate Night. I mean I heard jokes about igneous rock, sedimentary rock,the variety was off the charts!” said the booker, while passing out contracts left and right. “Not too wild about that Zora fellow who was popping off about water and water-related stuff. Probably won’t play in the heartland, they maybe shouldn’t quit their day job. But, those rock guys, wow! Watch out, Hollywood!”
At press time, the open mic culminated in a set where a Goron prop comic attempted to smash a rock with a big wooden sledgehammer, showering the cheering audience with gravel.
