We get it: College is tough. There’s the midterm slop, the missed parties, the roommate who does not believe in “dishes.” Luckily, we all have our comfort games to get us through the night. In tandem, we each have our comfort characters who bring a smile to our face every time; the ones who have your back when the other idiots in your group project don’t. Here are the most popular video game characters by college major.
#1. Accounting – T Block
Accountants think Tetris is just a really sick visualization of what it’s like to work on a balance sheet. The T-Block even looks like a T account, if you think about it!
Okay, now stop. Like the major itself, it doesn’t make sense if you think about it too much.
#2. Advertising – Pikachu
Advertising majors have a love-hate relationship with this guy. How did a yellow rat get to be this iconic? Thousands of dollars in tuition later, they lose sleep knowing they’ll never come up with a tagline as catchy as “Pika Pika.”
#3. Anthropology – Naked Snake
He’s the OG Snake. His clones, Solid and Liquid, might be more famous — but Naked is the star for the anthro department. First of all, he got his codename because he was thrown into a jungle without tools and had to adapt to an ever-changing, hostile environment. Secondly, do you know how many papers you inspire about humanity, nature, and nurture when the United States government clones you?
#4. Archaeology – Lara Croft
The polls were close, but Nathan Drake never fought a dinosaur. Every archaeology major wants to be Lara Croft. She makes dusting off old vases look cool. She also plays into a perverse player fantasy: that this field can be lucrative.
#5. Architecture – The Shinra Building
What?! That’s not a character! College kids are so silly.
EDIT: I apologize for my previous comments. A student just sent me a 20-page treatise on “The Shinra Building as Character” and moved me to tears.
#6. Art – Zelda
Zelda has appeared in countless art styles over the years — and nailed the look every time. Somewhere out there, a student is painting “Still Life of a Silent Princess” for their final.
Also, like, are you coming to the art show tonight? Can you just RSVP “Yes?”
#7. Astronomy – Fox McCloud
Oh my God, you get access to the fancy campus observatory, we get it. Honestly, I don’t think these kids even know what Star Fox is. They just wanna brag about how your tuition went into their new telescope.
#8. Biology – Dr. Mario
What? Yeah. He’s a doctor or whatever. Sorry, biologists don’t have time for “video games.”
#9. Biotechnology – Leon Kennedy
Biotech is so cool. But it’s also volatile. There’s some comfort in knowing that if the lab screws shit up, someone will come along to take care of it.
?: Business Administration – Reggie Fils-Aime
Guys. He left years ago. It’s time to move on.
#10. Business Administration – Bowser
MWA-HA-HA-HA. Yeah, that’s more like it. You corporate freaks.
#11. Chemistry – Inkling
There’s no way you spend 3+ hours a week in a Chem lab and don’t daydream about what’d happen if you threw those colorful beakers at your friends. Unfortunately, the law students think this is a bad idea. Luckily, that’s what Splatoon is all about!
#12. Classics – Pac-Man
What makes one a Pac-Man? Are the ghosts “human” too? We may never have those answers, except “Dot, dot, dot…”
#13. Communications – Scorpion
If you’ve made a major out of carefully wording emails, I assume you’re tired of carefully wording emails. Sometimes, you just wanna punt a dude across the room. Actions speak louder than words!
#14. Comparative Literature – Evie Frye
It’s so hard for these students to pick a favorite Assassin’s Creed character. Ultimately, they go with Evie: Can you believe how many famous Victorian era authors she meets? And she doesn’t make an embarrassment of them, unlike her brother?
#15. Computer Engineering – Alcatraz
These kids built their own PCs to play Crysis at maximum graphics or whatever. It’s been 10 years and they’re still riding that high.
#16. Computer Science – Prophet
Not to be confused with those kids. No, CS students consider themselves to be much more sophisticated than their engineering counterparts — which is why they like the other guy from Crysis.
#17. Creative Writing – Zagreus
Did you know that the script for Hades is 300,000+ words long? Zagreus is the right combination of snarky, sincere, and solemn to capture the heart of any writer — and even the game knows it. He inspires poetry and songs by freakin’ Orpheus!
#18. Criminology – Waluigi
At one point, you get sick and tired of understanding how the criminal mind works. You just want a good ol’ fashioned lil’ rascal. WAAAH!
#19. Dance – PaRappa the Rapper
Whoa, you can major in that? Guess anything’s possible, you just gotta belieeeeve!
#20. Environmental Science – Barret Wallace
The planet’s dying — but like Barret of Final Fantasy VII fame, these students understand that there’s still a lot we can do to save it. For example—
#21. Economics – Tom Nook
Tom Nook knows what he’s doing. He simply supplies what the market demands. So what if he makes a few bucks doing it? Such is the way of the invisible paw.
#22. Education – Toriel
Like Toriel, Education majors are just natural mom friends. You’ll be in the same school year, and they’ll say shit like “Aww, that’s so smart! I never thought of it like that! Why don’t I cook tonight as a lil’ treat?” Okay, Paulo Freire.
#23. Electrical Engineering – Ratchet and Clank
As the galaxy’s favorite gunslinging duo, Ratchet and Clank have done a lot to make engineers look cool. They also give these students hope: that no matter how many social events you ditch for “homework,” there’s a best friend for you out there somewhere. Even if that friend is a robot.
#24. English – Geralt of Rivia
English majors have very high standards for good writing. Trust them, they’re very well-read. That’s why they think someone should really write books about The Witcher.
#25. Fashion Design – Yuna
Only a Tetsuya Nomura design could suffice. You laugh, but the man knows how to dress ’em. Yuna rises to the top, though, because by Final Fantasy X-2, she has more wacky, colorful fits than anyone — and even gets dope powers from them for some reason.
#26. Film and Television – Arthur Morgan
Film majors love that southern drawl. No offense to the Man with No Name, but Arthur Morgan’s stolen some hearts that were previously his. Can video games be cinema? To quote the man himself, “Shure, shure.”
#27. Game Design – Link
It’s said that Shigeru Miyamoto was inspired by exploring the woods as a kid to make The Legend of Zelda. Game design majors are inspired by exploring The Legend of Zelda as kids to make whatever they’re making now.
#28. Geology – Geodude
Rock dudes? Dudes rock.
#29. History – Ezio Auditore da Firenze
Any AC game works, but you give history majors a Renaissance Italy simulator and they are set. The fact Ezio’s such a charming figlio d’un cane makes it all the more better.
#30. Hospitality Administration – Luigi
This is no one’s first choice for a major, so they relate to Luigi’s plight as the universal avatar for Player 2. But you know what? Player 2 gets the goddamn job done. Luigi doesn’t like how many haunted mansions and hotels he’s had to save — but he has saved them.
