Report: God Saw Everything You Did to Your Sims

SAN FRANCISCO — An outraged God descended upon the Earth today, and among other things announced that He saw every last thing all of us did to our Sims, concerned sources confirmed. 

“It’s honestly embarrassing that this would make my list of things to address,” said God, speaking to gathered reporters and worshipers outside of an In-N-Out Burger where He was reportedly really wolfing them down. “But now that I’ve told you who to vote for and which religion got it all the way right, let me just say, what are you people doing to your Sims? Even if they can’t feel anything, the urges you people have, I don’t know. I wonder about this whole thing sometimes, I really do.” 

While many were obviously panicked by the disapproval of our lord and creator, some boldly alleged hypocrisy on God’s part. 

“Oh okay, like God’s never let a couple people drown or fuck up their marriage?” asked Lewis Barker, a longtime Sims player. “Sure, I built some walls around my neighbors when they wandered in my backyard and let them starve to death, and yes, I’ve thrown a poisonous dinner party or two. I get how that doesn’t look great, but this is also God. He came up murder and torture and all that in the first place. Give me a break. You don’t have to be THAT judgmental.” 

Before ascending back to the heavens, God admitted that He would finally be trying The Sims 4 when it goes free to play next month, “to see what all the fuss is about,” assuming He has completed Snipe Elite 5 by then.

5 Biggest Perk Changes for Survivors in Dead by Daylight

The meta in Dead by Daylight is constantly changing, and that means a lot of changes to perks across killer and survivor. It has made redundant perks worthwhile again, allowing for some exciting new builds, but it has also seen the downfall of some of the most used perks for survivors. This guide will be talking about the five biggest perk changes for Survivor in Dead by Daylight.

Self-Care

Self-Care was once one of the most used perks in Dead by Daylight as a Survivor but they have since changed the speed at which you can heal yourself when using Self-Care, making it a pretty useless perk unless stood in Boon of Healing. Previously, you would be able to heal yourself at the intervals of 40/60/80% speed without a med-kit. Since the newest patch, those speeds are now down to 25/30/35%, which makes it difficult to even complete a self-care heal without being caught by the Killer. 

Dead by Daylight Survivor Perks: Unbreakable

Unbreakable is a favorite perk for many. It gives you the ability to pick yourself up again after being downed by the Killer, and if used well, can be a life-saving perk. It used to be a perk unlocked by playing Bill Overbeck. With the newest updates to Dead by Daylight, they are now adding Unbreakable as a base perk for all Survivors. However, the condition is that you have to be downed for 45 seconds before you can use Unbreakable and get yourself up. 

Borrowed Time

Borrowed Time is another favored perk by Survivor players. This perk also belongs to Bill Overbeck. When saving another Survivor from the hook, it now buffs their endurance by 6/8/10 seconds and their haste by 10 seconds. Equally, it buffs the unhooked Survivor’s endurance by 5 seconds. However, if the Survivor who did the unhooking performs a conspicuous action such as sabotaging a hook, cleansing or blessing a totem, unhooking others, or opening an exit gate, it will cancel the buffs prematurely. 

Dead Hard

Dead Hard was one of the most useful perks in Dead by Daylight when it came to escaping the Killer, but no more. Since the recent meta changes, it has had a huge nerf and has made the perk so much harder to use. The perk could be used as temporary invincibility any time the Survivor in question was injured, allowing the Survivor to get away a lot easier in most games. It meant that Killers had to learn how to deal with the perk, and adjust their play styles completely.

However, it has now been completely changed. Dead Hard, earned by playing Jake Park, no longer offers the speed boost it once did and doesn’t offer as many seconds of invincibility, meaning it has to be timed very carefully to be able to be used successfully by the Survivor. It only offers 0.5 seconds of invincibility now. This is a massive change for players, and Killers are having a much easier time winning their games. 

Decisive Strike – Dead By Daylight Survivor Perks

Decisive Strike is a perk that annoyed many a Killer in Dead by Daylight, as it meant that a high-speed chase could lead to them getting stunned and losing their victims. Decisive Strike used to be a five-second stun but with the new change, it is now a three-second stun which gives Killers a bit more of an edge to catch up. As well, DS runs out if the exit gates are powered up.

These are some pretty big changes to some of the biggest perks for Survivors and have led to Survivors having to change their entire build. The updates don’t seem to be stopping anytime soon, so there could be even more changes for Survivor perks to come, constantly switching up Dead by Daylight‘s best survivor perks.

How To Beat After Alterna in Splatoon 3

Modern Nintendo games tend to share a common feature: a single, monstrously difficult challenge placed at the very end of the game, as a “reward” for True Gamers. In Splatoon 3, it’s called After Alterna. This is a secret level in the game’s single-player mode that only appears after beating every other level in the game. Don’t think you’re prepared just from beating the others. After Alterna is four times as long and ten times as hard as a regular level. There’s not much of a reward, either: its main prize is a pair of fuzzy ears that prevent you from wearing a nice hat. But if you’re not satisfied with anything but 100% completion, here’s how to beat After Alterna.

How To Beat After Alterna: Be Prepared

splatoon after alterna squid sisters

First, make sure you have the stage unlocked. You don’t need to beat each stage with each weapon: one per stage is fine. After beating the last of the normal stages, a message appears telling you about a secret stage. It’s near the entrance to Alterna, visible from the Squid Sisters camp in the screenshot above. Try to have your gear as upgraded as possible. It’s not essential to have all the upgrades unlocked (I didn’t), but make sure you have all the core combat boosts. That means ink capacity, fire rate, and suit recovery.

You also need Power Eggs. Every three deaths in After Alterna cost you 333 eggs, and if you run out, you’ll get kicked out early. If you’ve just beaten every other level, you should have enough, but it took me around 8000 (not counting the many eggs I collected in the stage itself!). I’d recommend bringing 10k, maybe 15k to be safe. Lastly, strap in for a lengthy fight. This game journalist took about five hours to beat After Alterna. Your skill level is probably greater than mine, but it’d be a mistake not to allow yourself that much time. Be absolutely sure your control sensitivity is set the way you want. You can’t change it once you’re inside.

Beat After Alterna Part 1: Obstacle Course

splatoon rotating cylinders

The opening is deceptively simple: some jumps across scattered platforms. Any time you need to jump between platforms in After Alterna, ink the edge in front of you and jump in squid form, which moves fastest and gets you the most distance. Pretty soon, you’ll come to some rotating cylinders straight from a Mario Sunshine bonus level. They’re intimidating but manageable, since your ink lets you easily stick to surfaces. Just make sure you’re jumping in squid form.

Past that is the first real obstacle: a long rotating cylinder with a pair of Octotroopers carrying Gatling guns at the end. The safest way past them is to bait them into firing, then swim forward and kill them during their cooldown. They tend to see you as soon as you step onto the cylinder. Watch for their Metal Gear-esque “!”, and make sure both of them see you; at the same time if possible. Then, stay back behind the walls that protrude from the cylinder, and spread some ink forward to quickly rush forward as soon as they stop firing.

Next is a brief skirmish with weak Octotroopers. There will be several of these throughout the stage, and general Splatoon tips apply to all of them. Play defensively when you need to. That means painting the ground to make safe zones for yourself, and staying back when you need to recover. A quick method here is to kill the rightmost trooper while landing, then stay right and use cover to splat the other two.

Then comes the Squid Surge wall. To make sure you’re Surging properly, hold the A button with the control stick in neutral to charge it. While charged, you can move around a little to aim your surge. The timing here is simply to rush forward as soon as the sweepers pass. On the rotating sweeper, be aware that Squid Surge propels you quickly upward, so you can charge and release as soon as you can see the route above you. Next are a few simple fights; hide behind crates and other objects to avoid sniper fire.

The next sections are centered on the Squid Roll, performed by pressing A while holding the control stick away from the wall you’re currently climbing. The camera angles here are awkward, but the controls are pretty lenient. Simply holding the control stick while jumping will usually keep you moving in the right direction. You can also Squid Roll by releasing A after charging a surge. It’s slower, but works if you can’t get the Squid Roll timing right.

This leads into the moving pillar section, requiring you to ink the side of a pillar, then ride it while it moves. It’s a little uncomfortable, since you can’t hold still. To keep from sliding off, you have to keep tapping up on the control stick like you’re playing Flappy Bird. It’s possible to hold A and charge a Squid Surge, which stops you from sliding as much, but will also send you flying if you release the button. Little taps are safer.

Drop down when the moving pillar stops. Kill the Octarian on your left first, to keep it from using its shield. The next moving pillar is the second major roadblock of Part 1. When it stops, you’re forced to do a blind, backwards jump onto a tiny platform. It’s spaced just right for a Squid Roll, though, if you execute it perfectly. Press A and hold the control stick back at the same time to jump off. Keep holding the stick until you hit a fried squid ring, then let go of the stick. That should consistently land you safely. Don’t celebrate until after killing the Octobombs that spawn on the platform.

Next is an ink rail section. Simple as long as you keep holding ZL, since the rails are a little magnetic. Jump in between shots to avoid getting shoved off by Octotrooper shots. When the sniper confronts you, just keep moving. Two more rotating cylinders are next. These spin fast and look real scary, but they work exactly the same as the others: ink the edge, squid jump to the next.

The final obstacle of Part 1 is a Frogger-like procession of big blocks flowing backwards. To progress though them, you need to ink the ground at the edge of the one you’re jumping from and the side of the one you’re jumping to, several times in a row, and quickly. The trick here is that the platforms loop, and any inked surface stays inked. Each loop through the platforms gets a little easier if you keep inking. In fact, if you want to be extra safe here, it’s possible to cover most of them with ink before jumping down.

That’s not enough on its own, though; the exit is too far to reach at first. Stick to jumps you’ve already set up, and gradually add more ink farther right as you jump. Stop inking and speed up if the platforms start falling while you’re on them; this means you’re behind. Shoot ink when you can, and you’ll eventually have a path up the right-side wall, to the first checkpoint.

After Alterna Part 2: Break The Targets

splatoon target balloons

Part 2 is simple, but equally deadly. It requires you to shoot down every balloon that appears as you slide along the rails. If you miss one, you die. This is why it was so important to make sure your control sensitivity is correct before attempting After Alterna. Most of this section is aim-based: there’s no trick, you just have to shoot well.

Your biggest advantage is that the balloons always appear in the same places. If you work out how to aim, all you need to do is commit the motion to muscle memory. It’s often possible to stall by jumping in place, giving you a little more time to aim or even fire backwards at a missed balloon, but that’s not very helpful. It disrupts the regular pattern of aiming and shooting, sabotaging your muscle memory. The best way forward is to do things right without attempting a correction.

I suffered a lot on this section, but I had some success using motion controls to aim up and down, while using the right stick to turn while firing. When the balloons start spawning in a line, I’d press gently on the right stick with the trigger held down to pop the whole line. The second line also takes some aiming up and down to hit loose balloons, but the first and third are straight. The balloon lines also mark the point at which ink starts to run out. Enter squid form as soon as you pop the last balloon in a set to refill as much as possible.

The hardest section here is the three rails just after the balloon lines. You can only hit the farthest balloons from the outermost rails. Jump to the left rail right away. As soon as you pop the far left balloon, aim to the right while jumping onto the rightmost rail. Don’t forget to refill once the rail section is over: the following vertical balloon line takes a lot of ink to cover. Lastly, don’t relax until you’re on solid ground. The final few sections require quick, precise aiming, and the last one makes you shoot down a whole group in freefall.

Beat After Alterna Part 3: Platforms In Motion

splatoon soaker octocommander

This is the easiest part of After Alterna, more puzzle-based than reflex-based. As long as you still have eggs in reserve, you can relax a little. Much of this part revolves around soaker blocks, which extend when shot. Smallfry is the star here. Throwing him onto a soaker block extends it fully for a long time, allowing you to cross at your leisure. Smallfry is also effective at eliminating enemies from cover that would otherwise shoot the blocks out from under you.

When you reach the clear wall at the end of a soaker path, throw Smallfry over to extend the soaker past it, and drop down as it extends. The Octocommander here is the same as before: bait his fire (this time with Smallfry) and swim up and kill him while he’s tired. Go back and throw Smallfry onto the soaker block after the kill, and you can ignore the soaker’s time limit completely. The final rush looks deadly, but is doable by just pressing forward. Make sure to kill the big bomb at the end, though.

The game graciously gives you an early checkpoint here. Use Smallfry as before to extend soaker blocks without worrying about their time limit. You can Squid Roll backwards off the first one like you did in Part 1, but you don’t need to: swimming to the top and jumping off normally is safer.

For the missile ride section, the key is to break each enemy sprinkler, then shoot the pink soaker blocks to retract them – but not enough to fill them with your own ink, which will extend them again and kill you. The third wall requires you to extend the soaker a little ways before it to cancel enemy missiles, which is easily done with Smallfry.

The final section appears dangerous but is actually forgiving. Ride a missile to the balloon, throw Smallfry at it, then jump off onto the path that extends. It’s possible to jump shortly after throwing Smallfry, if you have trouble with the long jump. The timing is tighter but the jump is easier.

After Alterna Finale: Cephalopod Battle Torture

after alterna octoling battle

This is basically the final boss of Splatoon 3, not including enemy teams of professional players in Turf War. It’s three waves of Octolings, each deadlier than the last. An Octoling is like an extra-stupid player: easily destroyed one-on-one, but deadly if grouped up.

A lot of general Turf War advice applies here. The more ground inked, the safer you’ll be. Staying up high protects you from Rollers and Sloshers. Listen for the telltale “pop” of enemy Blaster fire – your upgraded Hero Shot will usually beat any other weapon, but a Blaster can hit hard at range. Try to ambush them from behind a wall, using the radar ability to track them.

Much of the strategy here revolves around killing the Octolings just as they spawn. They appear on the octagonal platforms at the edges of the arena, and you’ll see a “squid jump” marker just before they arrive. For an easy first wave, start by going right and killing the Brush user approaching from the front. This causes an Octoling to spawn at the back right point – turn around and kill them right away. That causes an Octoling to spawn at the mid-right point – turn around again and kill this one too. This way, you can start the wave with three fewer enemies. You have to do it quick, though, since the third spawn uses Dualies. Those can shave through your armor in an instant if you miss the quick kill.

For an easy second wave, swim forward as soon as the front wall starts dropping, and grab the canned Trizooka when it appears. Immediately rush to the front-left spawn point nearby and kill the Octoling as it spawns. A second Octoling will spawn in the same spot. This one has a Brella shield and might take a few extra hits, but Octolings tend not to use shields correctly. Keep firing into it and most of the time, they’ll drop it and die.

Once those two are dead, swim over to the front-right spawn point. Stay there, and use the Trizooka to kill any Octoling at a distance. If you miss, just kill the first one to approach you instead. That triggers a spawn on the front-right point, which you can quick kill. That’s four enemies down with little effort, leaving only three. They’re easy to mop up, but be aware they all have tracking bombs. If a bomb notices you, don’t argue, just run.

For an easy third wave… no, sorry. There’s no easy third wave. But there is a little trick that might help. Starting in wave 2, canned specials appear in the arena, the first being the Trizooka. After collecting one, another one will spawn on the other side. They always spawn in a fixed order, one after the other, cycling through most of the specials in the game. The last one is Zipcaster, and picking this up spawns an armor collectible you can reach with the zipline. Then the Trizooka spawns again, and the specials loop.

The trick is: During wave 2, kill all but one of the Octolings. This lets you ignore the last one and go back and forth, cycling out specials until you get the ones you want. You can use this to freely get an armor pickup before wave 3 starts, thanks to Zipcaster. You can also stop cycling the specials right before your favorites come up. Your best options are long-ranged killers: Ink Storm, Triple Inkstrike, Tenta Missiles, and Killer Wail 5.1.

The wave itself is a nightmare. All your enemies now have their own specials. The safest technique is to fight one-on-one whenever you can. Most specials only work close up, so getting swarmed is deadly. Keep the ground inked when you can, because you’ll need to run: if you see four little arrows on you, the Tenta Missiles are coming, and the only defense is to move.

Enemy Wave Breakers, which spawn shockwaves, can be attacked and destroyed, but they always launch at least one shockwave. Be ready to jump. Throw out Smallfry to distract the enemy. Overall, defensive play is the way to go, especially if the enemies are thinning out. Stay safe and keep your escape routes clear. Along with the free armor trick and a bit of luck, you can finally beat After Alterna and claim your fuzzy prize. Now I need to go lie down.

splatoon teddy band

MultiVersus Rick Patch Notes (Version 1.03)

A patch for MultiVersus suddenly appeared, with changes set to take effect September 27. Here’s what’s important in MultiVersus‘ Rick Patch Notes, for version 1.03.

General

  • Rick Sanchez is finally in! He’s classified as a Mage, which tends to be the most obnoxious character type in MultiVersus. Better get some anti-projectile setups ready.
  • Character XP got halved, so it’ll take twice as long for new players to earn Signature Perks and such. Honestly, character leveling was pretty quick, so this change shouldn’t be a big problem, but it’s definitely going to keep rewards from players a little longer.
  • The free character from clearing the tutorial is now Shaggy instead of Wonder Woman. Makes sense: Shaggy is the “Mario” of MultiVersus, a well-rounded fighter with a good mix of abilities. It’s not clear what this means for existing Wonder Woman owners, though.
  • New outfits: Chef Reindog, Golden Reindog, and Tiger Millionaire Steven. Golden Reindog is notable for being purchasable with gold instead of Gleamium, the game’s premium currency. A nice gesture – but it will probably be a lot of gold.
  • Some updates to the MultiVersus Twitch extension, including viewer votes on which character the streamer should use, and a loot drop of free toasts to game-owners who tune in.
  • The general notes also mention loading improvements for PS4 and Xbox One and a few bug fixes.

Gameplay Systems

  • Introducing an “Anti-Infinite Combo System” or AICS. This will weaken all your attacks after using the same move 4 or more times in one combo. Eliminating infinites should be a net gain for everyone.
  • Added an option to choose 4-direction or 8-direction to the right stick.
  • An update to the new projectile system, this time adding “Light Projectiles” alongside the Heavy ones. What does this mean? Nothing! At least for now. This is just one piece of a system in progress.

MultiVersus Rick Patch Notes Character Updates

steven universe tiger millionaire

  • Arya: The notes say “Fixed issues where Arya could deal much more damage than intended.” Sorry, Arya. They’re also “still looking at updates to Arya’s up special, but could use more time”.
  • Bugs Bunny: Nerf. Down air hitbox slightly smaller.
  • Finn: Small nerfs, removed some cancels from a couple moves.
  • Garnet: Buffs. Recovers faster from ground up and air neutral attacks, for better combos. Also speeds up her slow down air, and lets her slide a little before using down attack.
  • Gizmo: Buffs. Faster jumps, faster air side special, longer-lived music notes, and his car’s now Heavy (destroys lesser projectiles).
  • Jake: Nerfs. When on the ground in house form, Jake “will no longer bounce grounded opponents”. Does that mean he can be hit from the ground during this move? Hard to say until the patch releases.
  • LeBron: Mixed. If an ally gets his basketball, they’ll emit a shockwave! His no-look pass is faster, too. On the flip side, he can’t use his defense special to absorb Heavy projectiles anymore.
  • Shaggy: Nerfs. Added more whiff time to his side special. Also stops his neutral air flutter kick from breaking armor on its first hit.
  • Steven: Buffs. His ground combo got sped up, as did the speed of his side special projectile. He also got a little more kill power on his side air bounce attack, which was already a decent kill move.
  • Superman: Nerfs. His armored moves are slower, and he has to recover longer after a missed up special. This is to cut down on the popular trick of hanging off the edge and grabbing anyone who comes near for an instant kill.
  • Tom and Jerry: Mixed. Tom’s ground attacks got less safe, but his air attacks got safer.
  • Velma: Nerfs. Her ally-boosted projectiles don’t apply the weakness debuff anymore, and her upward lightbulb attack got less safe. She had some bugs fixed at least, including an ice field that hadn’t been applying ice.

 

Reflecting on the PS5, Two Years In: We Bet It’s Pretty Nice

Sony’s PlayStation 5 console will be celebrating its second anniversary on November 20th, and we thought that this would be a perfect time to look back on our impressions of this system now that it’s about to celebrate its second birthday. Two years later, and I think we can all agree: we’d still really like to be able to play one and it’s probably pretty fun. 

Returnal. Demon’s Souls. Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart. Two years later and we still bet these games are all really neat! We’ve watched some streams of people playing them, and man, it’d be really wild to be able to take them for a spin one day. Oh well. Maybe when PlayStation 6 comes out they can do some kind of a thing where you can find a PlayStation 5. That would be a really cool promotion. 

One of the major advancements in gaming during this generation has undoubtedly been streaming. XBox got out ahead of the rest of the pack with its impeccable Game Pass service, which continues to be an affordable showcase of the best of both AAA and independent games. To combat that, we heard that Sony did something to PS Plus. They have old games on there now or something. Gotta say, sounds fuckin’ neat. That’s all I can tell you about it though, really. Ape Escape might be on there. I’m not really sure! 

The PlayStation 5 also reportedly has like, these really sweet controllers. I guess they give feedback and stuff. Andy told me that if you talk into one it’ll do whatever you ask it, but I realize now after telling several people about that feature and having them mock me mercilessly that Andy was just pulling my leg. Screw you Andy, I’m writing it anyway, I have space to fill in this column. 

So it has really cool controllers, but apparently they don’t literally do whatever you tell them. That’s fine. I think Xbox is the same way. Kind of a tie there, really. 

In conclusion, after two years, I think we can all agree that Sony PlayStation 5 technically came out, and we all know one or two people that have one. Honestly, good for them. Meanwhile the rest of us will be crossing our fingers that we get to play Ghostwire: Tokyo before 2024 rolls around! 

Nicole Kidman Unhinges Jaw and Swallows Live Gerbil Whole in Haunting New AMC Ad

LOS ANGELES — AMC received backlash for their recent pre-movie advertisement that debuted this Tuesday, in which horrified audience members reported Nicole Kidman swallows a live gerbil whole.

“The movies, we come to this place for magic,” a grinning Kidman says while dangling the squealing rodent over her gaping maw. “In the cinema, heartbreak, love, and death all feel real. But of course, the movie experience isn’t complete without your favorite cinema snack! Whether it’s the buttery crunch of popcorn, the smooth richness of a Junior Mint, or the muffled struggling of a live beast, the movies are a place we come together to tell stories. Stories of blood, gnashing of teeth, of bones and of hair sliding down our throat.”

Audiences were reportedly horrified by Kidman’s gory advertisement.

“Her mouth stretched and contorted to inhuman proportions, and her eyes glazed over a milky white,” said moviegoer Austin Dunwalt. “You could argue it’s just special effects, but you can see the cameraman shudder and bolt when she does it. I don’t think that was in the script. It’s not even for Halloween or a horror movie, I took my kids to see Minions and now they can’t go to sleep without me checking their bedroom for ‘the striped suit lady’.”

AMC President Adam Aron released a statement about the upsetting commercial.

“We didn’t want to release it. We had no choice,” Aron stammered. “Lord Kidman, I mean, Nicole, forced us to. You try watching that and then going up to her telling her we’ve pulled her screen time. I don’t fucking think so.”

At press time, audience members had condemned the advertisement as nearly as uncomfortable as Tom Cruise’s Top Gun: Maverick pre-show announcement where he genuinely thanks audiences for coming to the theater.

MultiVersus Taz Guide: Best Moves, Strategies, Perks

Previously viewed as one of the worst characters in the game, Taz has been the beneficiary of some recent buffs. Whilst he may still not be dominating the meta, the timing has rarely been better to pick up Taz and take him for a spin. Here’s how to play Taz in MultiVersus.

The Basics

Taz is a Brawler-type character, which means that much like Shaggy — who we’ve discussed before, he’s intended to be played in a “rushdown” style. He’s at his best when he’s chasing down his opponents and putting on pressure. Most rushdown characters are fairly simple, and for the most part so is Taz; however, he has one defining feature that sets him apart from all the rest.

Taz’s passive ability means that some of his attacks deal stacks of “Tasty”. Tasty is a debuff that, upon reaching max stacks, will turn your opponent into a cooked chicken that is incapable of attacking for a limited time. It takes 16 stacks for Tasty to trigger. When a Tasty opponent is hit, they can drop pieces of chicken that you or your partner can pick up to eat and heal.

A lot of Taz’s game-plan focuses around threatening the opponent with the Tasty debuff. We’ll talk more about which moves apply Tasty as we get into the meat of this MultiVersus Taz guide.

Taz’s MultiVersus Combos

As an aggressive rushdown character with low range and fast attacks, Taz is very combo-centric. Learning how to optimize every opening you get will be key. Here are Taz’s three best combo starters and some of the combos you can get off them:

  • Down Special (You Spit What You Eat!) is one of Taz’s few projectiles and thus not a move you’d have pegged as a viable combo starter, but it is! The chewed apple Taz spits does a decent amount of hitstun, and Taz is so fast that he’s almost always able to close in from midrange and capitalize on that with a follow-up, especially when dodge-cancelling — which is something Taz should be doing a lot! You should use Taz’s Down Special in neutral often. It can combo into almost any of his aerials at any %, but most crucially…
  • Down Air (Sunder Down Under) is perhaps Taz’s best overall combo starter. It’s easy to weave in and out with this move due to its armor-breaking properties and low cooldown. It can true combo into Forward Air — and if you successfully dodge cancel after that, you should be able to thrown in a Grounded Side Attack too! Down Air can also true combo into Neutral Special, and is one of Taz’s few combos that doesn’t require a dodge cancel to work.
  • Grounded Side Attack (Well-Seasoned) is — as is the case with most characters in MultiVersus, a multi-hit attack in which you can cancel the first hit for a more optimal follow-up. For Taz, the first hit of Grounded Side Attack can be cancelled into the armor-breaking Grounded Down Attack, the juggle-starting Grounded Up Attack and pretty much anything your heart desires in the likely scenario that your opponent attempts to dodge between the first and second hits. (This attack also applies Tasty, making it one of Taz’s best moves overall.)

As a combo-oriented character, Taz has far more viable combo starters up his non-existent sleeves than this. Neutral Air and Forward Air are also very effective for this purpose, so give ’em a whirl and see what they’re capable of!

How to Use Taz’s Specials

Taz’s specials present some interesting options to spice up his aggressive gameplay. Where his normals let you get in, his specials are more about adding depth to his approach.

  • Neutral Special (Chew ‘Em Up, Spit ‘Em Out) is one of Taz’s worse moves. It has low range, long startup and is quite committal relative to the reward for landing it. It is, however, quite an interesting move with a variety of implications. Aside from eating enemies with this move, Taz can also eat projectiles! This provides him some much needed (but niche) counterplay against ranged characters, and allows him to power up his Down Special when he does so. Chewing on a Cooked (Tasty) enemy also applies Weaken.
  • Up Special (Dogpile! Dogpile!) is an interesting move but one that serves a somewhat similar purpose to his superior Side Special. This move’s travel speed is slow, but its hitbox is generous and it can be a good option to cover the ledge or even (on occasion) to use out of disadvantage. Really, this move is only made viable by a signature perk to be covered later.
  • Down Special (You Spit What You Eat!) has already been covered. It’s one of Taz’s best moves. Both a midrange projectile with potential to be powered up by Neutral Special and a great combo starter. What hasn’t yet been mentioned is that it also deals 2-3 stacks of Tasty by default, and has potential to deal even more when powered up! This is just a great move that you should be using in neutral a lot.
  • Side Special (Taz-Nado) was so powerful in its early incarnation that it had to be nerfed quite dramatically. Whilst not as powerful as it once was, this far-reaching moving hitbox is still very potent at scaring people out of center-stage and covering ledge. Taz’s Side Special is also a great punish tool for when people attempt to dodge in-between the first and second hits of Grounded Side Attack, which is surprisingly often!

MultiVersus: Taz’s Best Perks

Here are some of the best Perks to use with Taz in MultiVersus:

  • Speed Force Assist increases your movement speed by 4% (and 8% when stacked.) This being good for Taz shouldn’t take much explanation. As mentioned before, Taz often needs to dodge cancel to make combos like Down Special ⁠— Aerial Attack true. Speed Force Assist could even eliminate the need for these dodge cancels.
  • Coffeezilla is very viable for Taz as lots of his best moves have cooldowns. Almost all of Taz’s specials, but most importantly Down Special and Side Special, have cooldowns that will be reduced with this perk, and being able to use them more often will be a huge benefit to any Taz gameplay.
  • Tasmanian Trigonometry is even named after Taz! A perfect match! Taz has very weak recovery and offstage game, and thus Tasmanian Trigonometry’s effect of having increased influence over your knockback direction will allow you to stay on stage more and not have to deal with the struggle of recovering as much.
  • Percussive Punch Power has your team deal 5/10% additional damage with attacks that deal horizontal knockback. Taz is an extremely horizontal character, so this just makes sense.

Signature Perks

Finally, Taz’s Signature Perks in MultiVersus are:

  • I Gotta Get In There! makes it so that allies can jump into Taz’s Up Special (Dogpile! Dogpile!), giving it more damage, knockback and making it last longer. Whilst this may mean that this perk is only viable in 2v2, it is largely better than the alternative in that scenario. Extended duration on the Dogpile in particular can make this an absolutely brutal move to get past at the ledge.
  • Iron Stomach makes it so that Taz burps up a powerful anvil when using Down Special after swallowing a projectile. This is more situational than it may seem, as trying to use the already committal Neutral Special when being bombarded with projectiles is risky to say the least. The reward is decent, and this perk can at least be used in 1v1 and 2v2 ⁠— but in teams, the former perk should be your go-to.

And that’s all, folks! Enjoy buttering up opponents with the kind of seasoned offense that no other character in MultiVersus presents! Happy climbing!

 

Persona 5 Royal: How Long Is It?

Persona 5 Royal is an updated version of the critically acclaimed Persona 5 that adds loads of new content and features, including an entire new month of story. With the sheer depth of the original Persona 5 and with even more additional elements, Persona 5 Royal‘s length is a behemoth of a game to invest your time in. In this article, we’re cataloging all the information you need to know how long it will take to beat Persona 5 Royal

Using HowLongToBeat.com as a guideline, the main story of Persona 5 Royal can be completed in a little over 100 hours. That’s if you don’t really delve into any of the newer elements like getting to know the new, plot-important characters. Those 100 hours will get you through what was the original Persona 5 mainline story. 

Maxing Kasumi as a confidant to unlock the new semester will add more time to your playthrough.

However, if you take the time to do the necessary requirements for the new semester and the story that comes with it, it gets closer to 125 hours. This includes getting to know Takuto Maruki and Kasumi Yoshizawa, the two newest characters, to MAX in their Confidants so the new content becomes available at all. This is undisputedly worth your time, as both Maruki and Yoshizawa are two of the most compelling characters in the entire game. On top of that, you get to learn more about your teammates and what suffering for your dreams truly means in the harrowing and thought-provoking new story.

For the completionists out there, Persona 5 Royal just might be an enormous headache for you considering just how much content there is and how so much of it is centered around how well you manage your time – something any of us who have ever poured 100+ hours into any game might not know how to do too well. Whatever the case, completing the new story, getting all Confidants to MAX, defeating every target in Mementos, finishing the Persona Compendium, and seeing all the game has in store will take closer to 140 hours. It takes dedication, but honestly the hours fly by. 

Persona 5 Royal is now available on PlayStation 4 and releases on PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox One Series X/S, Nintendo Switch, and PC October 21st.

Man Still Riding High From Hitting 50 Combo in ‘Downwell’ 4 Years Ago

ATLANTA — Local gamer Matthew Bakerson got a 50 combo in the video game Downwell, made by Ojiro Fumoto and published by Devolver Digital, back in 2018, and hasn’t been able to talk about much else since then, according to those familiar with the situation.

“I think it was around when I hit 40 I started feeling a little funny,” said Bakerson, a warm smile growing on his face. “At 50 I realized what was happening: I had fully attained nirvana. This was the peak of human emotion, nothing else could hold a candle to getting a 50 combo. Nothing I ever do will quite reach the heights of that 50. Not my wedding, nor the birth of my first child, not even the birth of my second, cooler child, comes close to the feeling I got hitting that Downwell combo.”

Despite his success, Bakerson has been struggling to find purpose since his legendary run in the roguelike platformer.

“It’s weird living a life and already knowing what your obituary is going to say,” Bakerson explained. “Matthew Bakerson, dead at 92: the guy that hit a 50 combo in Downwell.’ Where do you go from there? How do you find yourself getting out of bed in the morning? The worst part is that it has ruined Downwell for me. I can’t find the courage to play it, knowing I’ll very likely never hit that high again. Oh god, what have I done?! When I close my eyes, all I see is black and red.”

Despite Bakerson’s bliss, those close to him have reacted with concern.

“The 50 combo was absolutely legendary, I’m not arguing that at all,” said Bakerson’s wife Diana. “But it’s been four years! I wish he would move onto other games, like My Friend Pedro or Enter the Gungeon. There’s other combos out there for him to hit. You can’t just relive your glory days, like you’re the kid who got a touchdown on his high school football team.”

“Wait did he say I was the less cool child?!” said Bakerson’s first child.

When reached for comment, Downwell creator Ojiro Fumoto said that Bakerson’s legendary 50 combo was “pretty cool.”

Hey guess what: this article is sponsored by Devolver! If you’re looking to feel the pure bliss that Matthew Bakerson has felt for the last four years, head on down to Steam and pick up Downwell. It’s literally $3 right now.

Students Pledge Not to Game After Visit From Guy Who Used to Play addictinggames.com All Day

SWAMPSCOTT, Mass. — The students in Martha Berg’s 5th grade class made a promise not to play video games after a guy who used to spend all of his time on addictinggames.com spoke to them.

“It was really scary hearing about how much time that guy wasted playing Bloons, Line Rider, and Kitten Cannon when he was my age,” said student Sidney Colletta, proudly wearing a “Just Say Game Over!” sticker on her shirt. “I used to think gamers were the coolest people around, but after learning what it’s really like to play browser games on the internet, I now know how uncool, gross, and unhealthy playing video games is.”

The visit from 30-year-old Patrick Kelly was sponsored by the US Department of Education’s Disregard Electronic Fun, Youths, or D.E.F.Y. program.

“Joe Biden has made keeping our kids away from video games a core part of his political mission ever since he told the video game industry that ‘Mr. Goodbar is a spoon of malarkey, Jack,’ during the Mortal Kombat hearings in the ’90s,” said Department of Education spokesperson David Kerrigan. “We know that video game culture can be an entryway to right-wing extremism, and we’re going to combat it with the same means-tested methods that helped us win the War on Drugs.”

Attention in the classroom was rapt as Kelly described circumventing his school’s website blocker by translating the Addicting Games homepage using Google Translate in order to feed his sick cravings.

“I missed out on learning crucial life skills like learning proper MLA citation format or lattice multiplication cause I was too busy Spanking the Monkey,” said Kelly as he showed off the minor carpal tunnel injuries he sustained while gaming. “It’s my hope that we can reach these kids before they get turned onto harder stuff like Miniclip or Candystand. The real World’s Hardest Game? Escaping a pattern of addiction.”

At press time, Sidney Colletta had broken her pledge after a 7th grader invited her over to watch them play Fortnite.