James Cameron Says You Haven’t Truly Seen Avatar Unless You’ve Watched it in a Way That Made Him a Little Money

Posted on by Mark Roebuck

LOS ANGELES — As a new 4K rerelease of Avatar hits theaters just months before its long awaited sequel arrives, filmmaker James Cameron has told audience members they haven’t truly seen an Avatar film unless it’s been in a way that he saw a little action on. 

“Sadly, there are more options than ever when it comes to watching Avatar,” he said. “I’d really rather you go check out the new IMAX release, that’s the best option. I really can’t believe how good we have this baby looking. But if you can’t make it to one of those, just make sure you don’t watch it on some goddamned phone screen or something, that’s all I ask.” 

“Unless you do it straight up and I make a couple bucks,” he added. “It’s okay to watch my shit on YouTube if you pay to do it, just to clarify my position on everything here.” 

Cameron’s perspective has proved controversial, although many have defended his right to dictate what constitutes a true viewing of his work. 

“He’s the artist, and he’s the one that gets to dictate these things,” said Tracy Calkins, a film critic for The Los Angeles Times. “Christopher Nolan is allowed to insist on shooting everything on film instead of digital, even though a majority of people can’t tell the difference, but we let him because it’s important that our artists’ whims and weird fucking ideas are taken care of at all times. If that’s how we get The Dark Knight, then whatever, you know what I mean?” 

Dedicated fans of Avatar largely admired Cameron’s commitment to his vision.

“I met James Cameron one time at a convention,” said Randy Cobble, who considers Avatar his favorite movie. “I told him I’d seen the movie 54 times, and he asked how many times I’d paid to see it. I told him seven times in the theaters and then I bought it on DVD and again on Blu Ray. He asked what good me watching the same DVD over and over at home was doing him and asked me for a couple bucks out of my wallet. It was pretty intense. I just think of it like I had my own little meet and greet with my favorite director.” 

As of press time, Cameron had announced “a bunch more” Avatar sequels to be released over the next few decades. 

Splatoon 3 Splat Zones: How to Play and Improve

Posted on by Alicia Haddick

Splat Zones is one of four different ranked modes available in Splatoon 3, accessible on regular rotation within the Anarchy Battles playlist unlocked at level 10 (or if you happened to have Splatoon 2 save data on your console prior to first playing the game, level 2). This mode is a control-based competitive arena where teams must take control of the turf in a specially-marked area of the map until your points count to zero.

That’s a very simplistic overview of the mode, but how does Splat Zones work when you dive into the game, and what does it take to rise up the ranks in this most strategic of modes? That’s what this guide here is all about, as we plan to offer you a helpful rundown of everything you need to know to become a Splatoon 3 Splat Zones master.

What are the Rules of Splat Zones in Splatoon 3?

Splat Zones is a rather simple mode in Splatoon 3 when it comes to the basics. The difficulty is mastering it.

In Splat Zones, each team of four converges into the center of the map, where either one or two glowing marked territories will appear. The aim of the game is to take control of the zone (or both zones if two exist as seen on maps like Undertow Spillway), and then retain control of these zones until your points reach zero. The winner is the first team to count their points to zero, or whichever team has the lowest score at the end of five minutes if no winner can be determined in this time.

One key point to remember is that you don’t need to fully paint the zone to attain control. After roughly 70% of the zone has been covered, the zone will count as being within your team’s possession, and the game will automatically cover the zone in your team’s ink as it starts counting down. If half of the zone is reclaimed by your opponent, the timer will stop until either your team reclaims 70% (in which case the countdown will resume), or the opposing team claims 70%. At this point, the zone will be covered in your opponent’s ink, their score will count down, and your team will earn a small penalty added to your score.

The ultimate aim of Splat Zones is to ensure you take and retain control of the zone at the center of the map, a task that requires teamwork and strategy to push your opponent back.

How Do You Score Points in Splat Zones?

Your team will score points in Splat Zones in Splatoon 3 by assuming control of the zone. While in control, your team’s score to count down, although this scoring system becomes more complex as the game progresses. Claiming control of the zone is required for your score to decrease and to win the game, losing control of the zone will inflict a penalty that is added to your score.

This penalty is marked on the screen in the form of a positive score underneath your main score. This will not impact the score at the end of the game as these penalty points are not added to the score of your team, meaning that a team with 40 points and a +24 penalty at the end of the game will still defeat a team with 50 points and zero penalty, even though 40+24 is a higher number than 50. However, this can serve as a roadblock to scoring additional points as the match progresses, giving your opponent an opportunity to win.

The penalty your team earns upon losing control is dependent on how long your team had control of the zone prior to losing it. A team who only held onto the zone for 30 points will receive a smaller penalty than those who counted down the zone for 60 points, and an additional penalty of a few points is added if you lose control of the zone after initially having 100 points when the countdown began.

Controlling the Zone in Splat Zones in Splatoon 3

To take control of the Splat Zones in Splatoon 3 and win, it is crucial to claim and retain a strong degree of control over the ink coverage of the map for the duration of the game. For your team to avoid the risk of losing control of the map, it is important to gain control not just of the central zone, but the areas surrounding it and paths directing players towards the zones.

Part of the tactical depth inherent to Splat Zones as a mode is the importance of control over this small zone in the center of the map acts as a natural choke point where players of both teams will naturally converge due to the necessity of assuming control over this area of the arena. Even with this being the case, however, there are still multiple paths players can take to reach the zone, and your team should be capable of protecting against each of these routes in order to stop an enemy assault.

While it may sound counterintuitive at first, once you have assumed control of the map, you should avoid standing or spending prolonged periods of time within the zone while trying to protect it from the enemy team. Not only does standing in the zone mean you are failing to block paths that your opponent could take advantage of to execute an assault on the area, a long-range enemy who can pick you off with a well-timed Splatling or Sniper shot will cover significant ground within the zone due to the splat radius of your death coating the zone in enemy ink. This could be all they need to control the zone and inflict a penalty on your team, which should be avoided at all costs.

Another important note is the effectiveness of special abilities to turn the tide of battle. Specials such as Ink Storm or Tenta Missiles, as well as the Trizooka or Triple Inkstrike, can allow you to cover the zone from afar to change the tide of battle or target enemy splatters making an approach. Especially when in a losing position, this ability to cover the zone and pause the timer, or distract an opponent, can be what is needed to turn the tide of battle.

Similarly, preparing for such a scenario is going to be the difference between victory and defeat for teams in winning scenarios, with victory relying on either preventing opponents building up the ink power for these specials or ensuring control over the zone is retained after their destructive power is inflicted on the central goal.

Keeping Opponents Away From the Splat Zones

The best way to prevent the enemy team from taking control of the Splat Zones in Splatoon 3 is to stop them from being able to execute a close-range assault on the zone itself. This strategy requires map control, but the best plan for victory involves taking control of the zone in the early moments of the match and continuing to push your opponent beyond the zone to keep the enemy locked in 1v1 battles at a safe distance from the all-important zone, all while counting down your score.

A balanced team composition for Splat Zones should feature a range of weapons able to quickly cover the Splat Zone from a close distance (think brushes, buckets or blasters) while being effective in 1v1 battles, alongside long-range weapons that can exert a heavy degree of control of the map while remaining protected from a distance, particularly the Splatling.

The player using the Splatling should retain a distance from the action. Instead, inflict damage and exert control over the map by preventing enemies from approaching, all while staying at a distance where the enemy finds it impossible to attack them due to their inability to get closer to their position.

An effective team working together should keep an opponent from the zone by engaging them in battles from a distance while a player using a Splatling or a Sniper can pick off enemies while remaining immune from enemy damage due to the range of their attacks.

If executed successfully, control over the map in the early stages should be retained throughout the match as enemies find it difficult to break through an aggressive offensive front line and defensive Splatling in defense ensuring any enemies that do flank your team or take you by surprise are quickly defeated.

What are the Best Weapons for Splat Zones in Splatoon 3?

The best weapons for Splat Zones in Splatoon 3 are those that can balance strength with ink coverage capabilities that can assist in retaining control over the zone while keeping opponents at bay. We recommend every team in this mode takes advantage of a Splatling, short-range shooters or dualies, and a brush, in order to take control of the zone quickly with fast-firing weapons with wide coverage while exerting pressure on opponents in either winning or losing positions to retain the lead or turn the tide of battle. Balancing the need to push for the zone, flank opponents, attack enemies and cover vast areas of the map with ink to ensure it is possible to exert pressure on the all-important zone make team composition and weapon choice.

Our choice of Splatling in Splat Zones would be the Heavy Splatling or the Hydra Splatling. Both of these weapons benefit from bomb subweapons and offensive specials while having a long distance and high strength. These stats make it effective as a backliner weapon firing from a distance, with the Booyah Bomb equipped to the Hydra Splatling making it our preferred choice due its ink coverage capabilities and the way it can be used to take over the zone if necessary.

We additionally recommend the Octobrush as a strong weapon of choice for Splatoon 3 in Splat Zones. This weapon is not only strong at short distance 1v1 battles when duking it out against an opponent on the front lines, the Zipcaster special can be a chaotic distraction that creates an opening for a team push. Using the Zipcaster at the correct moment can allow you to zip into the heart of enemy territory and splat opponents to weaken their defense of the zone.

Even if you are unable to splat an opponent, just jumping temporarily into the heart of the opponent’s area at speed with this ability forces the attention of the team away from the zone and onto you, providing your team with an opening for a major push into the enemy Splat Zone.

For those looking for a more conventional shooter as a weapon of choice, the N-Zap ’85 or the .52 Gal weapons are each effective choices. Finally, for similar reasons to the .52 Gal, another option could be the Rapid Blaster. Beyond the wide splat radius of its bullets, the Trizooka special weapon is a useful weapon for covering enemy turf and the ever-crucial Splat Zone. Rapid Blaster bullets also explode upon being fired, allowing it to hit enemies even if they are hiding behind a corner or box, a common scenario in Splat Zones.

How to Improve at Splat Zones in Splatoon 3

Improving at Splat Zones in Splatoon 3 requires a lot of understanding of the map and enemy positions, as well as the most effective use of your crucial special weapons with their ability to turn the tide of a fight if used correctly. Taking control of the Splat Zone is a surprisingly simple task in this mode, but retaining control for any length of time necessary to win a match requires a mastering of the fundamentals and disciplined control of the map.

It may sound overly simplistic, but improved accuracy with your shots to close out 1v1 battles will prevent a space from opening up for your opponent to approach the zone, and regularly checking the map to gain an understanding of enemy positioning can allow you to predict an upcoming flank against your team or know where they may strike next so you can take them on with the element of surprise.

Similarly, ensuring your focus remains undeterred on controlling the zone without getting distracted by the thrill of the kill could be the difference between victory and defeat. If straying from your position to splat an enemy player leaves space for another player to unleash their might against the zone and the team you left vulnerable.

Tactics are a major part of improving in Splat Zones. A balanced team comp that can retain control from afar and an effective, accurate short-range assault weapon to take on enemies from the front are the key to victory. Control is what you need in Splat Zones in Splatoon 3, and focus is more essential than in any other mode to not let that control slip for even a second.

Ultimately, the more you turf, the more control you have, and the more control you have, the less likely your opponent is to mount a comeback. Much of Splatoon 3’s appeal comes down to how crucial map control is over simply being a good shot, and Splat Zones is one mode where map where this fact is true more than any other.

Happy splatting!

Splatoon 3 Best Abilities Tier List

Posted on by Amelia Zollner

Splatoon has always offered players the opportunity to boost their gameplay through gear abilities, which come with the game’s clothing and offer various stat increases. In Splatoon 3, gear is more fleshed out than ever — now, players can replace a piece of gear’s main ability, which opens up countless new possibilities, by talking to Murch in the Square.

Of course, you can pick your gear based on how cool it looks (I am never taking the teddy ears off), but if you’re determined to splat your way to the top, it might be time to invest in some new gear or alter your gear with Murch’s help.

Here’s every ability (aside from the Splatfest-exclusive Ability Doubler) in Splatoon 3 ranked by versatility and usefulness.

S Tier

Swim Speed Up

Swim Speed Up greatly improves mobility, which is always a plus for any weapon. It’s especially helpful to have if you’re using a close-range weapon or carrying the Rainmaker, but it’s versatile enough to qualify for the top tier.

Special Saver

Special Saver preserves more of your special gauge after you’ve been splatted, making it easier to push right after dying. Paired with the general chaos of Splatoon 3’s matches, Special Saver is a great way to remain in the fight even if you’re dying constantly.

Ninja Squid

Ninja Squid allows players to swim through ink more stealthily, eliminating the ripples that appear with movement. Especially when combined with weapons like the Aerospray MG or Tri-Slosher that require users to position themselves near opponents, Ninja Squid is an excellent way to ensure safe mobility around the map.

Ink Saver (Main)

Ink Saver (Main) decreases the amount of ink consumed by your main weapon, allowing for more turf inking and splatting. You really can’t go wrong with this ability, as it’s useful with every weapon.

A Tier – Splatoon 3 Abilities Tier List

Comeback

Comeback boosts other abilities, including Ink Recovery, Ink Saver, Speed Up, and Special Charge Up, for 20 seconds after respawning. If you’re getting splatted on the frontline often, Comeback can be a game-changer and a great way to get back into battle safely.

Stealth Jump

Stealth Jump hides your Super Jump landing point from distant players, making it easier to jump across the map without being camped. While nearby enemies will still be able to see your landing point, when enemies are far, this will allow you to make more effective and safer pushes into their territory.

Quick Super Jump

Quick Super Jump allows its user to Super Jump a lot faster, making it easier to get back to the frontline after dying. This is also great if someone on your team has Squid Beakon, as you’ll be able to Super Jump to safe spots without being splatted.

Special Charge Up

Special Charge Up increases the rate at which your special weapon charges, meaning you’ll need to cover less ground to fill the gauge. This can be effective for weapons that don’t ink as much turf, and it’s a great option if you’re just hoping to spam your special (bonus points if you’re a Tenta Missiles user).

Run Speed Up

Run Speed Up can be great for Splatlings and other weapons that require plenty of above-ground movement. However, if you’re swimming more than running (which is the case with most non-Splatling weapons) and looking to increase your speed, try Swim Speed Up instead.

Ink Resistance Up

Ink Resistance Up increases mobility while walking through enemy ink, making it easier to get out of tricky situations where you’re trapped in enemy territory. Especially if you’re using a close-ranged weapon where you’ll be near enemy ink often, this is a great ability to add to your gear.

B Tier

Ink Recovery Up

Ink Recovery Up helps your ink tank refill faster, meaning you’ll need to spend less time submerging to recharge. If you’re using a weapon that sucks up ink quickly (like Rollers or Chargers), Ink Recovery Up is a solid choice.

Quick Respawn

Quick Respawn shaves a solid amount of time off of your respawn time, allowing you to get back into the game without wasting as much time. Unfortunately, you’ll need to be splatted twice in a row without splatting anyone for this ability to activate, so this only really works with short-ranged weapons where you’ll likely die more.

Ink Saver (Sub)

Similar to Ink Saver (Main), Ink Saver (Sub) reduces the amount of ink your sub weapon consumes, making it easier to consistently bombard enemies with sub weapons without needing to recharge as often. Of course, you’ll likely use your main weapon more, though Ink Saver (Sub) is still a viable option if you’re frequently using your sub.

Drop Roller

Drop Roller allows its user to perform a roll during Super Jumps, making it easier to escape from enemy campers. This also applies to Inkjet and Zipcaster, so weapons with either of those specials will be able to fully utilize Drop Roller. You’ll still be vulnerable, though, so this isn’t always worth spending a slot on. 

Splatoon 3 Abilities Tier List: C Tier

Sub Resistance Up

Sub Resistance Up increases your resilience to opponent’s sub weapons, especially bombs. While it can be useful in circumstances where the enemy team is relying on a barrage of sub weapons, it’s a pretty niche ability that’s not often applicable.

Respawn Punisher

Respawn Punisher increases the respawn time and special-gauge penalty for any player that dies. Unfortunately, it also gives this penalty to its user, making it a less viable choice for any player that’s fighting on the frontline. Because of this, Respawn Punisher is better for long-ranged weapons like Chargers, which are less at risk of getting splatted.

Opening Gambit

Opening Gambit boosts your movement speed while moving during the first 30 seconds of a match. This is useful if you’re in a rush to get to the objective, though it’s almost always better to instead focus on movement throughout the match by equipping Swim or Run Speed Up.

Last-Ditch Effort

Similar to Opening Gambit, Last-Ditch Effort increases your ink-recovery rate and weapon-ink efficiency during a match’s last 30 seconds. This can be great in making a final push during Turf War, but again, it’s better to focus on your stats throughout the match with abilities like Ink Recovery Up and Ink Saver (Main).

Object Shredder

Object Shredder increases the damage you deal to nonplayer targets, which includes Squid Beakons, Sprinklers, and Splash Walls. It seems that there are less nonplayer targets in Splatoon 3, however, making this ability slightly less versatile than it was in Splatoon 2.

Intensify Action

Intensify Action makes Squid Rolls and Surges easier and makes aiming after performing one of these more accurate. While most casual players don’t seem to use Squid Rolls and Surges often during multiplayer matches, if you’re using a close-ranged weapon and plan to utilize these new movement techniques, spending a slot or two on Intensify Action might be worth it.

D Tier – Splatoon 3 Abilities Tier List

Tenacity

Tenacity starts filling your special gauge automatically if your team has fewer active players than the opposing team. Unfortunately, using your special (depending on what your special is) can put you in a vulnerable position when half your team is dead, so you’re better off using the more reliable Special Charge Up or Special Saver.

Thermal Ink

This nifty main ability allows you to see players you’ve hit with your main weapon through walls. It’s useful for players who use Chargers and other long-range weapons, but that’s about it. Unless you really need help tracking your opponents, you’re better off picking another ability.

Haunt

Haunt is similar to Thermal Ink, but it applies Thermal Ink to players who splatted you after you’ve respawned. It’s a neat concept, but it doesn’t impact gameplay much since players can be spotted in other manners.

Sub Power Up

This ability upgrades Splatoon 3’s sub weapons in a variety of ways, though instead of increasing damage or ink radius, for most sub weapons, it increases travel distance and speed. These effects can be good when stacked, but they’re mostly negligible.

Facebook Charity Initiative Provides Homeless People VR Rigs to Wander Streets of Metaverse

Posted on by Camden Brazile

MENLO PARK, Calif. — Meta announced a new initiative to give back to the California community by providing local unhoused residents their own Meta-branded VR headset as a way to integrate them into Zuckerberg’s Metaverse project.

“With how necessary and rapidly-advancing technology has become, so many members of the world are deemed archaic and left out of the modern trends,” Zuckerberg said. “With Meta’s new charity push, we sought to give unhoused people access to the most realistic, life-like world to explore completely free of charge. Conversely, this helps Meta expand the reality of its digital world, with online users now being hassled for digital currency by actual, real homeless people. Truly amazing.”

Henry Right, a local homeless man chosen for Meta’s program, expressed his gratitude to the corporation for giving him a chance at civilized society. 

“I was forced out of my home after losing my job, I thought I had lost everything,” Right said. “But after Mr. Zuckerberg gave me these goggles, I got to start all over again. Yes, things like businesses and private property are locked out to my avatar because of my unhoused profile, but it’s nice to be able to move up and down various street corners without having to leave my spot in the real world or get tired.”

Facebook Philanthropy coordinator Moira Evans said the initiative is already seeing positive results. 

“This promotion has been a smashing success so far,” said Evans. “Already users are reporting experiencing real, palpable fear walking downtown in the Metaverse at night, and our brilliant programmers have been able to code in every disease or deformity that the homeless users have into the digital realm.”

At press time, Facebook was reported that after the charity event had concluded, all participants would be lucky enough to receive an itemized bill for their VR headset.

Deathloop Review: Wait, What? No! It Can’t Be! I’ve Already Done This!

Posted on by Mark Roebuck

No, you’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it! I’m right back where I started, reviewing Deathloop. How can this be? I’ve already done this!

I’ve been told that it’s because it’s on Xbox now and was exclusive to PlayStation 5 for a year, but that sounds like horseshit to me. Why would I be tasked to review a nearly identical version of a game that has been out for a year? That can’t be it. Maybe I’m dreaming? Maybe last time was a dream? Oh Jesus, I’ve got some things to sort out here.

It’s just the same as before, I swear this has all happened exactly the same as before. My editor gives me a review copy of Deathloop and asks me to get through it and write a review in three days somehow. I told him that this all happened already, but he didn’t care. He just said he needed the review ASAP. So here I go again. This all happened once, I think. Holy shit, I’m not sure what’s real or fake. What has happened already or what hasn’t.Not only that, I’ve spent the first day of my assignment wrestling with all of my confusion. Fuck! 

Okay, I’ve wasted enough time. On with the review. 

Deathloop is, once again, a game that has you playing an assassin trying to eliminate eight targets before midnight, lest the loop you’re stuck in repeat itself. I can’t imagine the version on the Xbox that just came out is much different than the PS5 one, but since life is but a hamster wheel, fate dictates that I must now pay this game to completion almost exactly one year after I already did. Or am I mistaken?Did I actually get to play a PlayStation 5, or did I dream that? 

Okay, going to try to stay focused here. I’ve wasted so much time already.  

Deathloop is also the latest from Dishonored developers Arkane Studios. The highly anticipated game delivered the smooth combat and innovative gameplay that the studio has come to be known for. Deathloop is fun as shit and maybe more importantly, unlike anything else you’ve played this year. 

Hey, also, now it’s on Xbox. I’m not sure what else to tell you. 

Oh wait, I think I know. Maybe this is a test. It doesn’t matter what I do, this is all a simulation! That’s it. I have to throw this whole loop a curveball and hope it spits me out or something. 

Kadnsjvckjdsanvaikfdvnbeai;uvgnadlkfnadsfads

Fjsakdjfnsadf

DSAgjv’ifdsvda

Pv’fdsaihvdfuvdv

HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck 

Fuck!

Okay. 

Okay, I thought if I freaked out for a while I’d wake up or something. But no, the game is still right here on pause. Damn. 

Graphics look great, to be honest. I mean, it’s a modern video game. They mostly look pretty good, I guess. 

Sounds great. Games all sound pretty good right now. 

LET ME OUT OF THISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET!! ME!! OUT!! OF!! THIS!!! 

LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT

Ok, fuck it. 

I’m going to try to jump into the game.

I’ve been up for days, it’s the only solution left. I’m going to jump into the fucking game and sort this shit out. I’m ready. I’ve removed my clothing and oiled up my body, now to slither into the monitor. It’s gonna be like The Ring, but backwards. 

~~~

It didn’t work. Oh god. I made an awful, awful mess. Then just now I slid out of my seat when I went to write about the mess I made. I am naked, injured, cold, and afraid. This concludes my review.

Verdict: Great graphics, gameplay, and story come close but don’t quite make up for the fact that I think I’ve been cursed by some sort of timelord. 

Deathloop **/****

Splatoon 3 Best Weapons – Tier List

Posted on by Amelia Zollner

In its current state, Splatoon 3 is blissfully unbalanced. Its 54 weapons side with Splatsville’s general theme of chaos — some are weak, some are overpowered, and some have absolutely terrible kits that Sheldon should probably be ashamed to sell. 

While it’s likely that Nintendo will add more variants and tweak pre-existing ones as Splatoon 3’s lifespan progresses (and while any player can make a weak weapon strong with the right experience and gear), for now, the game’s meta is unbalanced. Despite that, here’s every Splatoon 3 main weapon ranked based on turf-inking power, ease of use, sub and special synergy, and splatting potential.

S Tier

Splattershot

The trusty Splattershot is one of the first weapons you’ll add to your roster, and it happens to be one of the best thanks to its versatile range, mobility, and rate of fire. It’s also equipped with the Suction Bomb and Trizooka, giving it a nice offensive kit that still performs well in later levels.

Hero Shot Replica

The Hero Shot Replica, unlocked by completing the game’s Hero Mode, is just a reskin of the Splattershot. They’re the same! That’s it.

.52 Gal

The .52 Gal is relatively similar to the Splattershot, but it exchanges a high rate of fire for faster kills. When its Splash Wall is used defensively, the .52 Gal will allow you to get its signature two shot kills behind the safety of a wall. It’s surprisingly easy to get splats with this gun in Splatoon 3, making it one of the game’s strongest.

Heavy Splatling

The Heavy Splatling has low mobility, but it’s great at inking turf and killing foes quickly. It’s also paired with the Sprinkler and Wave Breaker, meaning you’ll be able to charge your special rather quickly with the Sprinkler and absolutely torment the opposing team with constant Wave Breakers.

A Tier

Aerospray MG

The Aerospray MG is excellent for inking turf, and it’s even better in Splatoon 3. This neat gun is equipped with the Reefslider and Fizzy Bombs, allowing for swift advances into enemy territory (especially in Splat Zones and Turf War).

Sloshing Machine

The Sloshing Machine is a bit tricky to master because of its low fire rate, but with a little bit of practice, it can become an absolute monster. Especially in a mode like Tower Control or Splat Zones where players are clustered together, this weapon’s massive splash radius makes it easy to get multiple kills at once.

Range Blaster

Predictably, the Range Blaster is a typical Blaster with a longer range. Alongside its strong kit with Suction Bombs and the new Wave Breaker, this Blaster’s massive ink radius will steer enemies away from whatever your objective may be. It’s also notably great in Tower Control — simply firing at the Tower will net you plenty of kills and clear up the area for your team.

Ballpoint Splatling

This pen-inspired Splatling has two stages, firing faster, shorter, less accurate shots when charged less but firing slower, longer, more accurate shots when charged for longer. It’s a well-rounded Splatling, and with Fizzy Bombs and the Inkjet, it’s a decent kit and a good way to familiarize yourself with the Splatling class and its varying ranges. 

Other A Tier Weapons:

  • Splat Roller
  • N-ZAP ‘85
  • Splat Charger
  • Splatterscope
  • Squeezer
  • Splash-o-matic
  • Splat Dualies
  • Slosher
  • Rapid Blaster Pro
  • Hydra Splatling
  • Dualie Squelchers
  • Dark Tetra Dualies

B Tier

Explosher

Thanks to its exploding projectiles, the Explosher is a great way to claim turf in Turf War and Splat Zones. However, its projectiles consume a lot of ink, which can leave users vulnerable for long periods of time (especially in close-range combat situations).

Splattershot Pro

The Splattershot Pro is a more accurate version of the top-tier Splattershot, but sadly, it doesn’t live up to its predecessor. It’s great for longer-ranged combat, and the Angle Shooter can help mark enemies, but its inking radius is small and it’s tricky to master. 

Splattershot Jr. 

Ah, the faithful Splattershot Jr.! It’s the weapon the game starts you off with, and it’s more than likely how you’ll learn to master the basics of Splatoon 3. With Splat Bomb and Big Bubbler, this weapon has a versatile kit that provides both offensive and defensive abilities and gives players a great introduction to the game. It’s not as viable for gameplay past the first few levels, though, so if you’re trying to weigh this weapon’s usefulness, it might be time to move on… sorry.

.96 Gal

The .96 Gal is similar to the .52 Gal, but its shots are slower and travel further. Because players have to be more accurate with the .96 Gal,the .52 is a more viable choice for less experienced players.

E-liter 4K

The E-liter 4K takes much longer to charge than the Splat Charger, but it rewards its users with a slightly longer range. The E-Liter 4K also has an excellent kit, as Ink Mines can help protect you from close-ranged weapons while Wave Breaker can mark enemies for easier tracking, though the Splat Charger is much easier to learn for new players.

Other B Tier Weapons:

  • E-liter 4K Scope
  • Octobrush
  • Inkbrush
  • Tenta Brella
  • Splat Brella
  • Rapid Blaster
  • Jet Squelcher
  • Glooga Dualies
  • Flingza Roller
  • Dapple Dualies
  • Blaster
  • Classic Squiffer

C Tier

Tri-Slosher

In Splatoon 2, the Tri-Slosher was a great way for new players to experience the thrill of the kill without aiming meticulously. Unfortunately for Tri-Slosher enthusiasts, this weapon only has one variant in Splatoon 3 (so far), and it has Toxic Mist and Big Bubbler, which is an oddly defensive kit for an offensive weapon. While it’s still a viable main weapon, if you’re desperate to use a Slosher, you’re better off using the standard Slosher or Sloshing Machine. 

Bloblobber

The Bloblobber can be good at scaring enemies away and inking turf in some circumstances, but that’s about it. Its bubbles move slowly and users have to hit opponents multiple times to score a kill, making Bloblobber bubbles relatively easy to dodge.

Splatana Stamper

While the Splatana class seems relatively weak at the moment, the Stamper is the better option of the two. In comparison to the wiper’s subpar kit, the Stamper is paired with the Zipcaster, which will allow you to break into enemy turf, and Burst Bombs, which can be thrown at enemies before or after hitting them for a definite kill. 

REEF-LUX 450

The REEF-LUX 450 is a slightly faster Stringer with a shorter range. It’s still not the strongest in the game, but it’s a lot easier to use than the Tri-Stringer, and with Tenta Missiles to torture the opposing team, it’s overall the stronger Stringer to pick.

Other C Tier Weapons:

  • Goo Tuber
  • L-3 Nozzlenose
  • Luna Blaster
  • Nautilus 47
  • Dynamo Roller
  • Clash Blaster
  • Carbon Roller

D Tier

Splatana Wiper

Sadly, this cool windshield wiper-themed katana isn’t everything Splatoon 3’s ads made it out to be. Its coverage is relatively weak and it can be tricky to ink turf and get kills. Additionally, it’s paired with Ultra Stamp, which has a very small area of effect in Splatoon 3. If you’re looking to get into the Splatana class, you’re better off opting for the Stamper.

H-3 Nozzlenose

The H-3 Nozzlenose is like a worse, more annoying Blaster. It’s clunky, it doesn’t fire straight, and it’s trickier to master than its sister weapon the L-3 Nozzlenose. It can be useful for scoring some satisfying one-shot kills, but you’re better off using a Blaster.

Bamboozler 14 Mk I

The Bamboozler in Splatoon 3 is a strong main weapon for the frontline, but its kit is slightly confusing. With Autobombs and Killer Wail 5.1, this weapon’s sub and special abilities are built for the backline, making it relatively unclear where exactly Bamboozler users should position themselves in gameplay. Hopefully, the next Bamboozlers will have more cohesive kits.

Tri-Stringer

The Tri-Stringer is another new weapon in Splatoon 3, but it’s pretty tricky to use. It’s hard to ink turf, and landing direct hits is even worse. If you’re looking to support your team from the backlines, you’re better off opting for a Charger or E-Liter.

Other D Tier Weapons:

  • Undercover Brella
  • Mini Splatling
  • Sploosh-o-matic

Splatoon 3 Clam Blitz: How to Play and Improve

Posted on by Alicia Haddick

Out of the four ranked modes available in Splatoon 3, Clam Blitz is likely the mode that is least familiar to most players. Unlike the other three Anarchy Battle modes available in the game which have each been available since the very first title in the series released on Wii U in 2015, this mode was only introduced in Splatoon 2 in 2017. Even now, it remains a source of difficulty for many seeking to rise the ranks in competitive Splatoon.

This guide looks to fix that, bringing your skills from the doldrums of B rank to the dizzy heights of S tier play. Keep reading for everything you need to know about how to play and improve at Clam Blitz in Splatoon 3.

What are the Rules of Clam Blitz?

Clam Blitz is perhaps the most complex of the ranked modes available in Splatoon 3. The aim of this mode is to collect clams strewn across the ground all across the map until you collect eight clams. At this point, the trail of clams following your player will turn into a sturdy football. Each team has a balloon and a net in their base area, and the aim of the mode is to take these footballs into enemy territory and throw them against the balloon hanging over your opponent’s net.

At this point, the ball will burst, scoring your team 20 points. Also, the net will be vulnerable, allowing your teammates to throw footballs or regular clams against the net to score additional points as you attempt to reduce your points from 100 to 0. Throwing footballs or clams into the net will briefly increase the duration of time the net is left open, with the net sealing up after a period of time where no balls or clams have been thrown into the net.

Finally, the net will retreat to once again be protected by a giant balloon. This balloon will be invincible for a limited time, and the team who was scored against will receive a football of their own to restart the action. Think of this like a blend of American football and basketball.

What are Footballs in Clam Blitz in Splatoon 3?

Footballs are crucial to scoring points in Clam Blitz in Splatoon 3, as these are the only objects capable of breaking through the balloon and into the net in your opponent’s area, leaving it vulnerable for your team to score points. Footballs can only be created by collecting 8 clams on a single player.

What makes these balls unique is the risk-reward nature of collecting clams and footballs within Clam Blitz. No matter how many clams you hold in your possession, turning into a squid and entering the ink will render you invisible from enemies until you emerge. If you are in possession of a football, however, your position will be transmitted to all players of both teams, and even if you choose to retreat and swim in the water, the football will remain visible and alert the enemy team of your position.

With this in mind, it is important to remain under the protection of your teammates while holding a football, or only collecting the final eighth clam to create the football close to your opponent’s goal so as not to reveal your position to the enemy team. Due to how crucial this item is to scoring points in this mode, you don’t want to carry the ball from deep in your own territory to your opponent’s goal if it can be avoided, as you will become a very visible target for the duration of time this ball is in your possession.

How do you Break the Opponent’s Net Using Footballs in Clam Blitz?

To break the balloon in Clam Blitz in Splatoon 3 and gain the opportunity to score points against your opponent, you must throw a football against the balloon above your opponent’s net. Footballs can only be thrown a limited distance, however, so you must stand very close to the goal before aiming using the R button (the same button used for bombs and other subweapons) in order to successfully hit the goal.

Since the distance between you and the goal can be difficult to judge, there is a small platform near the goal. If you throw the football at the goal from this ledge, you will hit the target. However, it is also possible to hit the goal without standing on this point, provided you are close enough. It is important to check your position before throwing the football: missing the target leaves you vulnerable, and if you are splatted at this moment, you may cost your team a crucial opportunity to score points in this difficult mode.

When is the Best Strategy to Score Points in Clam Blitz?

The best strategy in Clam Blitz in Splatoon 3 requires teamwork and planning for when the right moment is to create a football, or using a teammate’s push towards the goal as a chance to super jump directly to the goal.

Creating a football is going to reveal your position and make you a target, in turn making it harder to carry the football towards the goal. So, the aim should be to create a football as close to the goal as possible. There are numerous ways to do this, including refusing to collect enough clams to create a football. By retaining only seven clams in your possession at any one time, it’s possible to remain hidden from view of your opponents while still being very close to possessing the necessary number of clams needed to create a football and score points.

In this position, work with your teammates to splat the enemy team and create a path towards the goal. Then, when you are close to the goal, collect an eighth clam from your teammates. This will create a football when you are already in position, immediately throwing the ball in order to score points.

What if you have a football and are nowhere near the goal, such as the free football gifted to your team after your own goal has been breached? While it is possible to carry this ball directly to the goal by swimming and fighting your way through, this is far easier said than done. A better strategy would be to wait until your teammates have already splatted your opponents or made it to the goal, at which point you can super jump directly towards them and score immediately, without having to risk being splatted by making the trip to the goal individually or with your teammates.

A third option is to take advantage of specials that allow for fast movement across the map that also allow you to carry the football or clams towards the goal. Weapons using the Zipcaster such as the Octobrush are not effective in Clam Blitz due to in-game limitations preventing you from throwing clams while using this special. Alternatively, the Reefslider is a useful special in such a situation depending on the map.

On maps such as Museum d’Alfonsino it is possible to slide from the side of the map right towards the goal. While the football or clams will shoot away in a radius around you upon the explosion of the Reefslider, the explosion should create a buffer between you and your opponents that opens an opportunity to recollect the special much closer to the goal, giving you a shot at scoring Clam Blitz points.

What are the Best Weapons for Clam Blitz in Splatoon 3?

The best weapons for Clam Blitz in Splatoon 3 are those that offer the damage output necessary to slice through opponents whether at a distance or up close. This makes weapons like the Hydra Splatling and E-Liter 4k very useful long-range, high-damage weapons that can disrupt enemy clam collection and moves towards the goal. This impressive range also allows you to take a defensive position that makes it more difficult to be flanked by your opponents.

Another powerful weapon is the Splat Roller. This basic option of roller benefits from a great sub and special that compliment a mode like Clam Blitz well. It is possible to swim behind a Curling Bomb for a fast approach towards the goal or an enemy for a splat, while the Big Bubbler is great to provide a safe spot for teammates to jump towards or to attack opponents while the weapon’s diameter makes it difficult for them to approach you inside the area of the Bubbler to mount an offensive attack against you.

Finally, we recommend the Dark Tetra Dualies. While this weapon does suffer from being a weaker Dualies choice to most others in the game, the sheer number of rolls it is capable of executing in one go make it difficult to target and even make it possible to roll towards the goal. We still wouldn’t recommend doing this, particularly alone, unless used as a desperate, last-ditch maneuver where there’s a last minute attempt to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. The key advantage this weapon has is its access to the Reefslider to slide a football directly into enemy territory.

How to Improve at Clam Blitz in Splatoon 3

Ultimately, Clam Blitz is a heavily teamwork-based mode within Splatoon 3, where success is impossible without working with your teammates in order to score points. This can admittedly be difficult when not playing with friends as it is difficult to communicate a strategy with other players. But adapting your play to your teammates and working with them, not against them, will massively improve your win percentage in this difficult competitive mode.

A key piece of advice would be to avoid trying to take on enemies or attack the basket alone. Not only is it difficult to carry a football into enemy territory without support, even if you succeed at bringing the ball to the goal, it is unlikely you will score any more points than the 20 points received for breaking the basket. Without teammates to capitalize on the vulnerability, continuing to score points and massively improve your team’s chances of victory are low.

More so than any other competitive mode in Splatoon 3, Clam Blitz requires teamwork. Only by working with your fellow squids can you guide these kids to victory.

Happy splatting!

Selfish Webcomic Artist Takes Break

Posted on by Aaron Weerasinghe

TORONTO — Freelance artist and full-time barista Camille Brown provoked the ire of her devoted fans after selfishly announcing that she is putting her wildly popular webcomic Loamy Lovers on a brief hiatus.

“Hey, everyone! Long story short, I’ll be taking a few weeks off before starting the next chapter to get some much needed rest,” wrote Brown, devastating fans who have been following her comic for the past 11 years with an utterly self-indulgent post. “I’d like to thank everyone for their support, especially for all the kind responses to the latest chapter. I was really nervous about it, so it felt really good to read all your comments,” she continued, manipulatively trying to divert attention away from her self-centered actions. 

Fans of Loamy Lovers are understandably dismayed at Brown’s decision.

“It’s just a little confusing. Why does she need a break from her passion project? It’s not like it’s work,” said a heartbroken Kristoff Detrow, still nursing the wound that Brown left when she reduced her update schedule from three new pages a week to two pages a week. “Not only that, but she posted some art of characters I don’t even recognize on Twitter today, so clearly she has time to work on the thing we actually care about. It just feels deeply unprofessional. I’m really going to have to rethink my Super Fan $1 Patreon subscription.”

Brown’s questionable decision made waves in the artist community as well. Many artists have since come forward expressing admiration for Brown.

“I really respect Camille’s decision to prioritize herself and well-being,” said Delima Kwan, who explained how people, understandably, showed up at their house the last time they missed an update to their critically-acclaimed webcomic Creature Feature. “I’ve been thinking about taking a break to give my wrist some time to rest, but I really depend on the $500 a month my comic’s Patreon brings in and I’m worried people will unsubscribe.” As of writing, Kwan and Creature Feature are lucky to have over 100,000 devoted followers on Twitter who depend on their consistent Monday, Wednesday, Friday update schedule. 

Brown was unavailable for comment at press time having supposedly been called into work on her day off.

Adnan Syed Released From Prison After Baltimore Judge Finally Checks Out Serial

Posted on by Mark Roebuck

BALTIMORE — A judge has overturned Adnan Syed’s 1999 murder conviction after finally checking out 2014’s Serial, a wildly popular podcast that focused on the details of his case. 

“Wow, you guys weren’t kidding, what a great show this is,” said Baltimore Circuit Judge Melissa Phinn, who said she’s been meaning to check the show out since it premiered to great acclaim in the fall of 2014. “I haven’t finished the first season yet, but it’s getting really good, and I just figured I’d release Adnan out to house arrest until I get a little further into it. I thought it would make me feel better as I listened to the rest of the episodes.” 

“How does it end?” she asked. “Wait, no, don’t tell me!” 

Local prosecutors were disturbed by the unprecedented legal action that was largely informed by the judge listening to a podcast. 

“Let me get this straight, she’s just now getting into Serial?” asked Victor Cobb, an outraged member of the local district attorney’s office. “What are we going to do if she goes on some true crime kick? Just re-legislate every case that gets a semi-popular podcast going? This can’t be the basis of our legal system, it just can’t. It could really screw up the 95% guilty plea rate we have going if people started believing they had a chance around here.” 

Producers of the influential Serial podcast were excited to hear of the impact their show had made, even if it was well after its initial release. 

“Wow, this is probably the best case scenario for the show we made,” said Sarah Koenig, host and producer of Serial. “Well, I mean, it would have been cool if Judge Phinn had checked it out back when it came out, left us a review or something. Hell, we might’ve got Adnan out even sooner, but that’s okay. As anyone who’s ever had a podcast can tell you, it’s just cool to find out one person listened, you know? Can someone tell the judge we did two more seasons after that?” 

As of press time, an excited Judge Phinn was seen getting mic’d up to appear on an upcoming special episode of HBO’s The Case Against Adnan Syed.

Carlos “insaneintherainmusic” Eiene Is Betting On Himself

Posted on by Charles Harte

On January 1, 2022, Carlos Eiene (better known by his internet username “insaneintherainmusic”) uploaded a video to his YouTube channel titled “I’m Done Being a Content Creator.” Known for his jazz covers of classic video game tracks like “MEGALOVANIA” and “Mii Channel,” Eiene’s channel currently has 400,000 subscribers and over 100,000,000 views. Despite the success that it’s brought him, he’s decided to leave it behind and move on to a new stage of his life.

I reached out to ask him some questions about the new path his career is taking. When he answers the video call, he tells me he’s come straight from working on a song for one of his upcoming projects. Despite lessening his public presence, Eiene has been busy as ever, with several new projects on his plate.

“I was dissatisfied with content creation and the life cycle that that occupation requires,” Eiene says. “Since then, I’ve had the fortune of getting a couple of game composing gigs, but also doing production work for other people, most of which haven’t really been released yet.”

One of these projects is a game called Tyrion Cuthbert: Attorney of the Arcane. It’s still in development, but the developer released a demo for it about a year ago that features some of Eiene’s work. While the gameplay is inspired by the Ace Attorney series, Eiene and his co-composer Shady Cicada have tried to set the soundtrack apart.

Key art from the game Carlos is composing for, Tyrion Cuthbert: Attorney of the Arcane.

“I remember starting that project off and listening to a lot of Ace Attorney stuff early on and thinking, ‘should I try and copy this aesthetic?’” Eiene says. “I was like ‘no.’ It’s not really my style, you know? I’d rather just do something that’s more in my wheelhouse.” That said, he also didn’t want to just make a jazz soundtrack for the sake of making jazz, calling it a “disservice to the game.” Instead, the soundtrack to Tyrion Cuthbert strikes a happy middleground: there are live instruments that play jazz inspired arrangements, but they do it within the looping musical structure of the Ace Attorney series. 

Still, it seems his skill set fits this new type of project perfectly. As he mentioned some of the compositional tools he was using to write new songs, it quickly became apparent that these were also techniques he used on his YouTube channel, just in different scenarios. For example, he spoke about writing for a Tyrion Cuthbert character named Celeste. As her theme pops up in different sections of the game, the harmony underneath shifts to change the tone of the song. Known as “reharmonization,” this technique is also the backbone of many jazz covers, which takes a familiar melody and changes the harmony underneath to create something entirely new. Eiene may be taking a new step in his career, but it’s more than a leap of faith: it’s a role he’s been preparing for for years.

Now that he’s writing his own music for games, I ask him if his opinion on a “good video game score” has changed. In response, he bursts into laughter and says, “Man… how hot do I want to make this take?”

Immediately, he draws a line between “soundtrack” and “score.” While the two words are often used interchangeably, they can mean different things depending on the context. When it comes to film, “score” is the term that describes the music that plays in the background of the movie. “Soundtrack” can mean the same thing, but it can also refer to an album of licensed songs used in a movie. In the context of a video game, Eiene says the difference between a soundtrack and a score is the “prevalence of melody.”

“When I think of some of the greatest video game music of all time, I go to things with melodies,” he says. “The Super Mario Brothers theme, right? “Dire, Dire Docks” from Super Mario 64. “Dragonborn” [from Skyrim]… if I’m going to write a soundtrack, I want it to be something that people can remember and sing.”

He says that the greatest modern example of this is the music from Toby Fox’s Undertale. Even when used as a meme, a track like “MEGALOVANIA” has widespread cultural significance. Eiene recalls a time when his neighbors’ kids were playing outside, loudly playing the song on their phone. He thought, “What world do I live in where a battle theme from a video game is being blasted outside?”

Games with a “score” aren’t necessarily worse, but not something Eiene is as interested in writing. “I still get requests, even though I stopped making videos,” he says. “No one has ever requested anything from Elden Ring to me, except maybe like the title theme. Does that mean Elden Ring is a bad game? No. Does that mean it has a bad score? No. I just think there’s some identity missing.”

To Eiene, identity and personality are important parts of any piece he writes. This was even true when writing covers. Even though he wanted to preserve the story of the original piece, he found ways to express himself in the arrangement and the performance. Now that he’s moving onto his own original projects, he says, “I’m embracing the fact that my thoughts and my stories are worth telling.”

Just a few weeks ago, a new video appeared on the insaneintherainmusic YouTube channel. In it, Eiene celebrates his channel’s ten year anniversary and announces a brand new project: Insane In The Rain, an album of original music that he calls “new, personal, and authentic.” He’s released original singles before, but this is the first time he’s created an entire project of songs just for himself.

The cover art for Carlos’s upcoming solo album, Insane In The Rain.

After years of arranging music from other video games, Eiene says he’s writing these new songs as if they’re from a video game based on his life. For example, “Luminaire,” the second song on the album, is named after a move from the game Chrono Trigger. When you use Luminaire, the protagonist Crono floats up in the air and radiates a blast of light to deal damage.

“To me, that is a representation of the song and what it’s about,” Eiene says. “The song is about people recognizing that everyone has that kind of light, everyone has a gift they could offer the world.” It seems that for Eiene, this metaphor extends to the album as a whole; he’s redefining himself based on his own light, not the work of others.

“Writing this original album for me has been [about] finding my sound outside the context of video game covers.” Eiene says his “true compositional style” falls somewhere between a traditional JRPG sound (he listed Pokémon, Octopath Traveler, and Xenoblade as examples) and a jazz fusion sound (Eiene’s favorite band is a group called Snarky Puppy). He says one instance of a sound like this is “Aurum Island” from Kid Icarus: Uprising, but that true examples are few and far between.

As far as what his long term future looks like, Eiene is unsure. He says his dream project would be to work on a series from his childhood (something like Pokémon), but he’s not sure when or how that could even happen.

“I’m excited to know where I am in five years from now,” Eiene says. “Right now, I feel like I’m on a long road trip. I know my immediate next destination, I have enough gas to get there, but I don’t know where we’re going after that night.”

Eiene knew he wanted a change from his YouTube life, but it’ll be a while before he reaches the personal success he’s searching for. I ask what success means to him, and he pauses. When speaking about music and video games, Eiene is quick to answer, but not this time. He stops to collect his thoughts before answering, which he does sincerely.

“Success is knowing that there will always be good and there will always be bad. There will always be success and not success. Being extremely okay with that and just letting that happen… I think that is a form of success. Now, I say that being a 24 year old monkey-brained human who will most definitely not be doing that to its fullest extent, but I think it’s useful to remember.”

At this transitional time in his life, Carlos Eiene is thriving by rolling with the punches and making things up as he goes. After all, he’s a jazz musician: improvisation is one of his greatest skills.

If you want to listen to Insane In The Rain, it will be released on October 21, but it’s available to pre-order now. He’ll also be releasing a single from the album every two weeks, including “Luminaire”, which is out today.