BREAKING: Comedian Andy Kaufman Has Died From COVID-19 at Age 72
LOS ANGELES — Beloved comedian, actor, and wrestler Andy Kaufman passed away in his home today at 72 after contracting…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz — Page 21
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There It Is: Steve From Blue’s Clues Releases Second Video Asking for Just a Few Thousand Dollars to Get His New Business Off the Ground
NEW YORK — After warming the hearts of America, former Blue’s Clues host Steve Burns released a second video asking…
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Sony Promises Spider-Man 2 Will Really Make You Feel Like Paying $500 for PS5
NEW YORK — Representatives from Sony promised today in their PlayStation Showcase that Spider-Man 2 really makes players feel like…
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Taliban Leaders Demand United States “Let People Enjoy Things”
KABUL, Afghanistan — Taliban officials controlling Afghanistan have sent out a demand to the United States that the nation should…
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Michael Caine Sick of Explaining Shit to Christopher Nolan
LOS ANGELES — Actor Michael Caine is reportedly sick of director Christopher Nolan constantly calling him up to ask him…
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“Ugh, Got Queued Up With Another Round of Bots,” Says Squad Crushing You in FPS
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A local Splitgate squad was reportedly disappointed to be playing against a group of bots while crushing…
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Uatu the Watcher Groans at Pop-Up Asking If He’s Still Watching Universe in Which Iron Man Gets Really Into Ska Music
THE MULTIVERSE — Uatu the Watcher, the immortal omniscient being who observes the Multiverse from afar, reportedly groaned after receiving…
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Kotaku Advertisers Devastated to Learn That All Those Clicks They Got Were Actually From Angry People
NEW YORK — Advertisers displaying banners on the video game website Kotaku were reportedly devastated to learn that all the…
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Splitgate Draws Influence From Halo and Portal for Gameplay, Pablo Picasso’s Nightmares for Menu System
STANFORD, Calif. — 1047 Games developers explained today that their video game Splitgate draws influence from the Bungie Halo games…
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Marvel Universe Discovers Lead in Water Supply That Makes Population Overly Quippy
EARTH 199999 — Researchers living in the Marvel Cinematic Universe have discovered a mixture of chemicals in their water supply…
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