Andrew Cuomo Accepts Leadership Position at Activision Blizzard
NEW YORK — Following his resignation as Governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo announced today that he has accepted a…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz — Page 23
558 stories found
Nation Comes Together in Moment of Grand Unity Over Feeling Weird and Sad About Chris Chan
UNITED STATES — Members of all political parties and allegiances came together in a moment of unity following the arrest…
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Back 4 Blood Zombie Claims He Was Just Saying “Dinger”
POST-APOCALYPTIC DENVER — A Back 4 Blood zombie accused of saying a horrific racial slur this week now claims that…
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Modern-Day Robin Hood Uploads Pokémon Leaf Green to Torrent Website
LONDON — A mysterious heroic figure not unlike Robin Hood, the legendary outlaw from English folklore, has uploaded a torrent…
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HBO Changes Slogan to “It’s Not TV, It’s — Oops! Something Went Wrong. Try Restarting Your HBO Max App”
NEW YORK — Cable television network HBO announced today that they are changing their longtime slogan from “It’s not TV,…
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Matt Damon Announces He Sees Now That Using the “F-Slur” Is “Gay”
LOS ANGELES — Actor Matt Damon took to social media today to apologize for his use of the homophobic f-slur…
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New Service Lets You Rent a Funny Guy for Your Group Chats
NEW YORK — A new startup based in Manhattan called Chat Rat lets people rent a funny guy to join…
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Falco Lombardi Still Kinda Bitter That Mario Is Nintendo’s Flagship Italian
CORNERIA — Local ace pilot of the Star Fox team Falco Lombardi is reportedly annoyed that Nintendo still sees Mushroom…
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Dumbass Smash Bros Crowd Cheering for Character Who Just Died
BATTLEFIELD — The unseen crowd watching Roy and Ganondorf battle it out on the floating platforms known as Battlefield were…
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Editorial: Jeff Bezos Has Purchased Our Website and, Unrelated, Has Anyone Noticed He’s Super Hot?
We have exciting news here at Hard Drive! Following in the footsteps of great newspapers before us like the Washington…
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