What Are They Saying? Reactions to Epic Games’ Recent Layoffs

Epic Games announced a shocking wave of layoffs this week, targeting over 800 employees, making up about 16% of their workforce. Here are some reactions from around the community to the company behind the multi-billion dollar grossing Fortnite’s unfortunate announcement. 

Tristan Buchanan, ex-Epic Games developer

“What can I say? The writing was on the wall for years. No really, it said ‘We will fire you in a heartbeat if we ever feel like it’ real big on the cafeteria wall. So a lot of us saw this coming.”

Viola Michael, Postal Worker

“Oh my god that’s horrible. How is Tim Sweeney handling all of this? Poor guy.”

Elon Musk, Owner – Twitter 

“Look, the hat wasn’t on backwards, and even if it was, lots of people wear a lot of different kinds of hats backwards. I really don’t see what the big deal is. I have a video of me holding a giant knife on my phone if you want to see it.”

Justin Cain, Office Manager

“Don’t look at me, pal. My kid spent 14 grand on Fortnite bullshit, and now I have to work nights at Lowe’s. I’m sorry it wasn’t enough for you people.”

Cody Johns, Retail Employee

“Wow, a game company announced a wave of layoffs despite being behind one of the most popular games around? How shocking. Next you’ll be telling me some gamers throw tantrums when you make them play as a girl.”

Tim Sweeney, CEO – Epic Games

Will your story please make mention of the generous severance package full of V-Bucks we gave everybody? No one has mentioned that part. I think it’s worth mentioning.

Alvin Sutherland, Surgeon

“Who let you in here?”

Conor Morgan, Student

“I think it’s good that Epic has largely squandered any goodwill they may have once had. It’s so exhausting to like stuff.”

Kevin Durant, Professional Basketball Player

“I would like to be traded to a different interview as soon as possible.”

Joshua Buchanan, Entrepreneur

“As soon as my favorite YouTuber weighs in, I will let you know what I think about all of this.”

Norm Whitney, the guy that cuts up Tim Sweeney’s hot dogs for him

“Did anyone hear if I still had a job or not?”

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, actor

“Let me guess, this is all Black Adam’s fault somehow!”

Homer Norton, retail manager

“Huh, that’s bizarre. I thought their unique strategy of hoarding exclusive games on a clunky launcher nobody wanted was their ticket to the top.”

Mitch McConnell, Minority Leader of the United States Senate

“I, uh… um…. I…”

Shane Kramer, writer

“With the WGA strike coming to a close, maybe they could all write movies and TV shows about how fucked up it is to be in game development.”

Tracy White, server

“It’d be really cool if you left so someone else could sit at this table, you know?”

Sidney Pruitt, a guy that just woke up out of a coma

“I’m sorry, Fortnite? Never heard of it. Who let you in here?”

Joe Chen, guy that puts Tim Sweeney’s socks on his feet every morning

“I am saddened at the amount of people that lost their jobs, many of which I consider friends. Those of us lucky enough to stay on with the company won’t forget you.”

Jude Porter, journalist

“Gosh, this must be a scary time for anyone working on a game that’s reached previously unimagined levels of success.”

Shigeru Miyamoto, developer – Nintendo

“Sadly, I cannot afford to hire all of the 800-some workers laid off by Epic, but if any of them can make their way to our cafeteria, I’ll take care of everything.”

Blizzard Announces Overwatch 2 Heroes’ Mythic Skins Are Whatever Sexual Orientation You Want

IRVINE, Calif. — Blizzard announced that any hero fitted with a mythic skin in Overwatch 2 will become whatever sexual orientation the gamer who earned it wants, company officials confirmed in a press conference.

“If you bought the battle pass and then grinded to reach tier 80 by playing nonstop for hours a day, days on end, you have earned your mythic skin,” said Overwatch 2’s Character Director Sefi Morditch. “And with this rare honor comes the option to make Junker Queen canonically a lesbian. Or Sigma bisexual. Or you could even make Tracer straight. Love is love – as long as your parent’s credit card clears when you make your purchase.”

The new feature, which was added in a 5GB update this week, is composed of an on-screen popup when an unlocked mythic skin is selected for heroes.

“CONGRATULATIONS on your recent purchase and prolonged gameplay this season!” the message states.  “This hero is now open for you to interpret their sexuality however you see fit. Get as specific as you want! Note: this feature does not impact gameplay.”

The player is then prompted to enter the character’s mythic sexuality on the keyboard, with each letter entered costing 500 coins of in-game currency, including spaces. Once the payment has been confirmed, a new popup appears on screen for 10 seconds that reads “[HERO] is now [TEXT ENTERED]!” before disappearing forever.

Gamers online immediately had mixed reactions to the announcement and update, with some confused as to why this needed to be introduced at all.

“As far as characters go, Overwatch 2 is a pretty diverse game already. It’s not perfect, sure, but I don’t think releasing skins that can turn heroes gay or whatever is going to help. It’s honestly kind of problematic,” wrote silver-ranked PC player Lix_Zenz_Ballz in a Reddit thread on the subject.

“How would this even work? Is Kiriko only into chicks if she’s equipped with the mythic Amaterasu Kiriko skin, or does her wearing it even just once mean she’s into that forever going forward if I say so? Don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to pay every time it’s equipped, but this is a distinction that has important implications for the game’s lore and my bank account,” wrote diamond-ranked XBOX player VeryTiredHippo2003.

At press time, Morditch was seen ignoring all questions from reporters about rainbow capitalism while adding that mythic skins with this feature will soon be released for every remaining hero who currently doesn’t have one, except Cassidy.

Throuple Preparing Group Halloween Costume Arguing Over Who’s Ed Edd or Eddy

BROOKLYN — Partners within a local poly relationship are amidst heated arguments over who gets to be who in their Ed, Edd ‘n Eddy Halloween costumes, neighbors of the throuple confirm, due to the thin walls in their shared apartment complex.

“Roland thinks just because he thinks he’s smartest that he gets to be Double-D, but he’s also the tallest, which should make him Ed. Costumes are a visual medium, first and foremost,” said Hayley Ash, self-appointed leader of the throuple. “All I know is, I call Eddy. I’ve already started working hard on the giant papier-mache jawbreaker we’re going to chase down the street, so I get first dibs on character choice. Levi better find an Edd hat quick, because I’m not sewing shit this year.”

Acquaintances of the throuple reported this is a yearly occurrence, and debating their annual Halloween costumes is just as much a tradition as the holiday itself.

“Last year I threw a party, and Hayley, Roland and Levi all arrived three hours late and all angrily dressed as the same X-Files Lone Gunman, and wouldn’t back down,” said Mina Kleiner, shaking her head in secondhand embarrassment. “They all wanted to be Langley, I guess? Luckily there was no physical violence, but man…they take Halloween just a bit too far for my taste. Plus, everyone just thought they were Garth from Wayne’s World. At least they got to bond over that!”

Officials at Halloween Headquarters have begun issuing statements on the importance of not taking the holiday too seriously.

“It’s important to remember that this time of year is supposed to be fun! Candy! Costumes! Spooky monsters and the like! Good, wholesome times for friends and family alike!” said a representative of Halloween HQ, who was tough to understand due to his plastic vampire fangs. “Folks like this throuple here threaten to sully the good nature of the day with sour barbs and passive-aggressive comments…plus shouldn’t Roland be Double-D? He’s always wearing that knit hat!”

At press time, the throuple had reportedly moved on from Halloween and started another discussion, just as intense, over what Rankin Bass special their Christmas card photo-shoot would be themed.

New Team Rocket Employee Unsure About Mandatory Midriff Policy

CELADON CITY, Kanto — New Team Rocket recruit Wyatt Perry was surprised to learn about the mandatory crop tops mentioned in the dress code section of the Team Rocket Employee Handbook.

“’All Team Rocket Grunts will be administered two pairs of slacks, one pair of boots, one Team Rocket cap, and five Team Rocket crop tops (three short-sleeve and two long-sleeve) as their daily uniform’,” said Perry, 19, reading directly from the handbook he was given during New Grunt Orientation. “’Grunts are required to always wear this uniform when acting on behalf of Team Rocket. What the hell is this? This wasn’t mentioned when I interviewed.”

Perry wanted to make it clear that his discomfort with this policy was out of concern for safety, and not about his sense of self-image.

“I’m not uncomfortable with my body by any stretch of the imagination,” he said. “I work out and stuff. I just think it’s impractical for the job we’re doing. I’m supposed to be kidnapping three-foot Beedrills with stingers as long as my forearm, and you expect me to do that with my stomach exposed the whole time?”

Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket, asserted that the uniform requirements were out of budgetary necessity.

“We have a very high turnover at the entry level,” he said.  “And crop tops require less material to make, so we lose less money handing them to a grunt who quits two weeks later because they can’t handle getting shocked by a Pikachu every day. It’s really the only way we can stay in business.”

Perry’s attempt to bring these safety concerns to HR’s attention were less than successful. “It turns out that Team Rocket’s HR department consists entirely of one talking Meowth.”

The Best and Worst Simulator Games for PC Players Who Won’t Leave Their Houses

PC players get a bad reputation sometimes, but that’s usually okay because they’re too busy debugging their game to hear it. With the range of different hardware and other tools out there, it’s never been easier to purchase or put together some semblance of a gaming PC and generally rise above the console wars.

That being said, it’s a whole lifestyle that will see even the most promising of altar boys turning into a hunched-over ghoul clacking away at a keyboard for eternity. With the range of games that promise to simulate the world’s most mundane tasks, a promising PC player never has to leave their home to feel the joy of power washing a deck or doing construction work on a run-down house.

It’s not all boring, though, as simulator titles also offer opportunities, like many games, to live a different life and try things you may not otherwise have the budget or opportunity to do. It’s a fine line that those who make these games often tread, but some feel like they were made with genuine love and appreciation for the craft it’s simulating.

This article will go over the best and worst PC simulator titles that give you a look into another life and occupation so you know what to avoid and seek out based on your personal preferences. Some of these may even make you swear you left the house. 

Best: Farming Simulator

If you’ve never experienced the joy of baking under the heat of the Alabama sun in the middle of your family’s corn and green bean fields, then you’ve never experienced joy. Thankfully, you can do it the easy way in the Farming Simulator series of titles, which serves as a weird intersection of marketing for John Deere equipment and informational farming gameplay.

The most recent release across all consoles was Farming Simulator 22, which was released late in November 2022. It introduced new functions like allowing players to manage animals, grow new crops, and even customize their farmer to make the simulator more immersive. Factor in the modding and player support for these games across the internet, and there’s a lot of content to appreciate.

Like most simulator games, Farming Simulator also has the benefit of being boring as shit most of the time. This means that players can throw on their favorite podcast or simulated internet radio and get to choring around the farm. It ain’t glamorous, but it’s an honest day’s gaming. 

Worst: Ranch Simulator

As someone who genuinely loves animals and would love to own some form of small ranch in the future, I was so excited to log into this game with a friend. However, it had launched in early access with maybe two features and almost no animations. Everything feels stiff, too, from the activities all the way to the animals themselves. It was not worth the price at that time, but this was a couple of years ago and worse games have certainly been redeemed since.  Here’s hoping a full release as a stable experience is in the future once developer Toxic Dog smooths out all the bugs (and pigs and cows and goats and horses). 

Best: American Truck Simulator

The trucking network in America is the backbone of the country. The brave men, women, and non-binary of the trucking industry ensure that we can get pizza rolls and Sprite whenever we want, just as the Founding Fathers intended. It’s probably one of the under-respected industries, with most serial killer mysteries involving them as an easy suspect. For Shame!

The Truck Simulator games are known for being some of the most relaxing in the entire industry, at least according to my buddy John from high school. I’ve played with him a few times and it was always fun to just sit back and drive our route together while catching up about things that had happened to us in life recently.  I like to imagine that the freedom to just pick up a job and drive is what attracts many to the trucking life, with these titles even letting you create a whole business and fleet of trucks. You can even get NPCs to run deliveries for you, making it as much of a management simulator as it is a relaxing driving game. Now they just to add an update where you can murder hitchhikers! 

Worst: Police Simulator: Patrol Officers

Oh, to be a government employee responsible for making sure that the poor and broken of society get treated worse than their own criminal peers. If you go out of your way to play a game that’s called Police Simulator and it’s not even the cool parts like hostage negotiation or detective work, but patrolling, I’m gonna put your name in a book somewhere for later… just in case.

The game mostly involves pulling over people for minor traffic infractions before potentially arresting them. It does a good job of justifying these arrests and kind of whitewashes all of the dirty parts that are actually involved in police work. If developer Aesir Interactive adds a new mode where you have to cover for your partner who murdered a Black man in cold blood, it might be a bit more realistic.

Listen, not all people who play the Police Simulator are bad people, but enough of them have been found the be absolute pieces of shit that fit the description. It’s like 40 percent I read somewhere. Be safe out there, NPC drivers.

Best: PC Building Simulator

Imagine if you spent a few hours building your PC on top of the cost of who-knows-how-much to purchase the components. Does anything sound more fun than immediately booting it up and building custom PCs in PC Building Simulator? On the other hand, those who bought pre-made computers can see how much they could have saved for the same specifications.

Mostly, it just serves as a great way for PC players to fully hone in on their obsession and superiority complex. I wouldn’t expect you to get it, what’s your rig running on? A 2090 XXXTentacion GPU and i23 flux processor? Yeah, that’s what I thought, loser.

There’s a sequel that just released last year on the Epic Games Store, but the original can be found on Steam, with all the DLC offering a lot of content at a discounted price that’s a fraction of what a new monitor would cost. 

Worst: Lawn Mowing Simulator

Whoever thought that it would be a good idea to force gamers to touch grass the whole time in this title didn’t understand their audience. Sweeping in among a fresh wave of new simulator titles, Lawn Mowing Simulator is a faithful enough job at giving players a job and letting them loose in a world to do it. However, it’s about as dull as watching grass grow.

While one might not expect much from a game that’s about mowing lawns, there is something relaxing about it that transfers from real life to this title. Because of that, it’s a great game to help you chill out, and one I even enjoyed more than PowerWash Simulator at first. Lawn Mower Simulator even had the opportunity of being on Xbox Game Pass, but even that wasn’t enough. Sadly, it’s been a year since the last major update from Lawn Mower Simulator, with the yard of the game’s community being overgrown and uninhabitable in the time since.

Breaking: YouTuber Just Pronounced That Word Wrong

SEATTLE — In the middle of a 90-minute video essay outlining the “shocking production history” behind the movie Space Jam, a YouTuber very clearly mispronounced a word that you know how to say correctly, sources have confirmed. 

“Hold up, did he just say ‘laytmotif’ instead of ‘leitmotif’?” read one comment from Destroyer49. “How does he not know how to say that word? Even I know how to say that word. And I’m just some dumb guy commenting on a YouTube video!”

The YouTuber in question, Toaster Tim, issued an apology following the public display of humiliation.

“I apologize to all of my fans and subscribers for letting you down like this,” began Tim’s statement. “I should have not been a dumbass, and learned how to say that word correctly. The worst part is, I’ve apparently been saying it wrong my entire life. I have a lot of people to call up and apologize to personally. I will do better.”

Responses to Tim’s apology were varied.

“This apology isn’t good enough,” read a post from Twitter user John Cum. “You clearly will not do better. You clearly will continue to go on and hurt your fanbase by mispronouncing all sorts of words throughout your entire career. How quickly have we all forgotten the time you pronounced the ‘L’ in ‘salmon’? Or what about when you recommended that viewers clear their ‘cashay’ on their internet browser every month? No, you will be stopped– or my name isn’t John Cum.”

At press time, Toaster Tim was seen with a dictionary on camera, finding and practicing words he wasn’t familiar with just in case.

10 Other Politicians We Thought Were Already Dead

The news of Senator Dianne Feinstein’s death caught many Americans off guard today, as they’d assumed the 90-year-old senator had passed away earlier this year during a senate vote. With that in mind, here are ten more politicians we were shocked to discover still have a pulse.

#1. Joe Biden

I don’t buy into the bigger picture right wing conspiracy stuff at all, but I swore I saw this man die on a bicycle once – did that not happen? Mentally I’ve been living under the Harris Administration for years. I’ve been hiding my weed.

Oh god I just remembered I’ve posted a Facebook status celebrating having a black president again.

#2. Mitch McConnell

Again, not big on conspiracy theories, but I watched this man die two times already this year. That can’t be good for him.

#3. Nancy Pelosi

I thought Nancy Pelosi died? My uncle showed me a video that said she died four years ago and a series of robots were resuming her place. I’m willing to believe it’s bullshit, but please excuse me if I don’t tell my uncle.

#4. Jesse Ventura

I guess he survived the Predator after all. Very cool!

#5. Bob Dole

Oh wait, you know what? Yeah. Bob Dole is dead. Sorry. Moving on!

#6. The Boss (Saints Row 4)

Between all the aliens and super powers and crazy shit, I thought The Boss died. But I looked it up just now and there’s actually a few different endings and he lives through all of them, and I guess he even cryogenically unfreezes Jane Austen in one of them. Whoa! I thought she was dead, too!

#7. Kane/Glen Jacobs

Burned in a horrific fire, but somehow survived and ended up becoming the Mayor of Knox County, Tennessee since 2018.

#8. Michael Haggar (Final Fight)

Did you know the guy from Final Fight was a mayor? Remember that the next time you hear any politician say they’re going to “Clean up the streets.” Not like this hoss you’re not.

#9. Cowboy Oligarch Elon Musk

I swore I saw a picture of his body prepared for an open casket funeral where someone had mistakenly placed his beloved cowboy hat on backwards.

#10. Me, The Writer

I swear to god I thought I died while playing Dark Souls III. Also, I was class president of my high school.

Epic Claims They Could’ve Saved Those 900 Jobs if You’d Just Bought Some More Dances and Skins

CARY, N.C. — Following a layoff of nearly 20 percent of their staff, Epic Games, the creators of smash hit Fortnite, said the largest factor was you personally not buying more skins and dances, sources have confirmed. 

“Some are saying the reasons for these layoffs are exuberant CEO salaries and a series of reckless acquisitions we overspent on,” said Epic CEO and founder Tim Sweeney, shortly after announcing the layoffs. “But that’s not it at all. It’s your fault. You, the gamer reading this. When was the last time you brought something to this arrangement? We are modern Robin Hoods that stood up to Apple that one time and give you a bunch of free stuff, when was the last time you spent money on buying one of the hundreds of pre-existing character skins in our shops, each carrying a license we spent multiple employees’ salaries on acquiring!? Why don’t you buy one of the many dances we pilfered and changed just enough from online creators while you’re at it?! There was literally no other option we could see but to send over 800 employees, who just helped us have some of our most profitable years, into the chaos of joblessness in an already-crowded market.”

Gamers were saddened to learn of their hand in the recent layoffs. 

“Man, I figured it was the normal wave of executives punishing the people whose labor provide them their salary,” said local Chris Oliver. “But it turns out I should’ve really bought that John Wick skin instead of merely talking about how cool I thought it was. Now here I am with hundreds of people’s unemployment status on my conscious. That’s my bad, guys.” 

As of press time, when asked why Sweeney didn’t simply retain employees and cut the pay of executives responsible for poor fiscal planning, Sweeney made a verbal offer to purchase Hard Drive. 

What’s the Worst RPG on Every Generation of Xbox?

Microsoft, like its console competitors, had a strong presence in the computer world before it ever started thinking about getting into gaming. It’s had a long and successful history since then, even if Phil Spencer currently oversees the largest expansion and most legal complications since the company was founded, all while smiling like the kid who took your lunch money. 

Role-playing games have always been at the core of gaming, with immersive worlds and engaging stories. While Xbox has had a number of RPG hits through the years, from Fable to Starfield, it’s had just as many titles that have shown limitations or poor quality control, which should come as no surprise from the company that brought us Windows 8. Here are the worst RPG’s on every generation of Xbox console. 

Xbox: Dinotopia: The Sunstone Odyssey

Dinotopia: The Sunset Odyssey is probably the closest thing we got to Ark: Survival Evolved before it was released, with the player taking on the role of a family stranded in the titular dinosaur-infested land. It’s a fairly interesting concept, as leading man Drake Gemini tries to defend his new home from pirates (and dinosaurs).  The actual visuals look dated, even for being on the first generation of Xbox, and the minimal UI was outdated even then. With every repetitive “Uhh,” that the enemy lets out when you strike them, it’s easy to see why this title was critically panned for being lackluster, and just a poor experience for anyone with an original Xbox console.

This sucks because if this game was any good, childhood me would’ve gone absolutely nuts to fight against pirates and threatening species of Dinotopia. As it stands, however, this is but one more disappointment on this long journey into the grave. More like The Stone Cold Bummer Odyssey, I’m afraid.  

Xbox 360: Two Worlds

I’m not going to lie, this one hits even closer to home for me because I spent what little allowance I had buying the boxed edition of this game. I thought, that because it was a boxed edition, it must be a good RPG, along the lines of Oblivion and Morrowind, which my cool older cousin had shown me. My friends, that was the day I learned of my own hubris. 

It’s just a really boring game that thinks an open world and monsters make for a Bethesda Softworks-worthy title, and it definitely doesn’t. The animations are stiff and incredibly repetitive, with enemies flinching the same way every time they’re hit, and it features one of the more lackluster combat systems you’ll find in this generation of games. The UI also seems like it wanted to be realistic and give a feel of tabletop RPG games, but it was mostly just really boring, and not even fun-boring, like Kingdom Come: Deliverance.

Xbox One: Toro

Bullfighting, one of the worst traditions in entertainment, isn’t a great idea for a game, being based on a barbaric activity that seems relevant only to an ever-shrinking community in Spain. It’s not even a good representation either, as the bull and custom player characters in Toro just move stiffly beside one another, with no real flair or artistry to make the game interesting.

I’m not kidding, the entire premise of the game is trying different passes to get a better score and applause from a stadium of NPCs. While it’s not a fantastic game, it’s good to know that those who enjoy the torture of those animals will have something to turn to when the rest of the dwindling audience realizes watching bulls being tortured is pretty messed up. You’ll always have Toro on the Xbox 360, you sickos. 

This game makes me laugh every time I look at it. This came out on the Xbox One, a console released just a decade ago, way past the point that games looked and played as simple as this. While it might not be your idea of an RPG, it is definitely my idea of a game bad enough to be on a list like this. Anyone that has a problem with that is invited to stiffly run at me while I awkwardly shuffle out of your way.  

Xbox Series: Redfall

I was unfortunate enough to have to play this game to write up some guides, but was thankfully fortunate enough that I did not have to write an in-depth review of it. There were whispers that players shouldn’t expect much from Redfall ahead of release, but I kept my mind open until I actually played it. At which point it didn’t run well on any system we used and was pretty flat in gameplay, which was tragic for being an Arkane game. They’ve made some truly amazing games, so it was largely a disappointment when it released and drew speculation about whether or not executives had their mitts in the game after having been acquired by Xbox in 2021. I think in 2023 we all have our answer. 

There are so few redeeming qualities in Redfall that I could literally lose access to it from my account and not notice. It’s just hard to explain how much that game irritated me as I struggled to get it to function long enough to get a guide or two out on my PC and Xbox. Regardless, it wasn’t an enjoyable experience and I’d like to forget it exists now, forever. Thank you. That’s my review. 

Check out our Best and Worst RPG’s on Each Generation of PlayStation!

Sora Accused of Lowering Standards by Wearing Hoodie and Shorts in Presence of King Mickey

DISNEY CASTLE — Sora, an adventurer known for his heroism in the ongoing Organization XIII conflict, has found himself at the center of a debate over the unwritten dress code at Disney Castle.

“It’s one thing to wear such casual garments in combat against the darkness,” royal adviser Yen Sid told reporters at a courtyard press conference following a meeting with King Mickey and his allies, including Sora, “but wearing them around this esteemed castle, especially in the presence of the king, is a breach of decorum, and lowers royal standards at a time when they should be at their highest.”

Though Yen Sid has historically refrained from making public statements—rarely even straying from his tower—Sora was unsurprised that his manner of dress had compelled the normally reclusive sorcerer to speak out.

“This is just more of the same from Yen Sid,” said Sora. “Every time I see that guy, he gives me a new outfit with slightly longer pants. Donald gets to run around with no pants at all, but I wear clothes in front of His Majesty that Yen Sid himself picked out, and that’s a bridge too far. At this point, he should drop the pretense and give me one of those red apprentice getups he loves so much. Nothing like freeballing under a robe to bring some class back to Disney Castle.”

Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather, Yen Sid’s tailors in residence, corroborate Sora’s claims about the origins of his controversial outfits. In fact, the fairies say they have even made at least one similar outfit for King Mickey, to which the king alluded while expressing support for Sora in a statement of his own from the castle audience chamber.

“I have a lot of respect for my mentor,” King Mickey Mouse said, “but the great Yen Sid is wrong on this one. I love two-way zippers, impractical lapels, plaid accents, and fun little straps everywhere. Even on shoes that already have laces. And I’ve never been the kind of king to stand on ceremony, so I fully endorse Sora’s attire and invite Master Yen Sid to join us on the right side of history whenever he’s ready.”

The king went on to say that there are much bigger problems to focus on, like keeping the names and backstories of all the different Xenahorts straight.

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