SILENT HILL, ME – Earlier this week, head of Silent Hill government Mira the dog made the announcement that the city has finally purchased a dehumidifier to deal with the area’s problematic fog.
The good girl held a press conference on Monday morning to elaborate.
“It’s a massive public safety issue, with approximately 60% of inbound traffic driving off the road and becoming stuck in purgatory,” said Mira to the one journalist who wasn’t sucked into the Otherworld on the drive in. “But it really is a beautiful town. Sad to say nobody can see that without being blocked by a wall of smoke and negative Yelp reviews. We try to clear up the latter, it’s about time we did the same to the former.”
With the city’s annual tax revenue of four dollars, the public works department was able to find a dehumidifier on Craigslist that only took 11 years off of the budget. The item was purchased from Sam Bartlett, former mayor of nearby Shepherd’s Glen who listed the equipment as ‘slightly used’ and said they just want to avoid being ‘buried alive’ in maintenance.
Residents, meanwhile, appear optimistic about the acquisition.
“Took ‘em long enough,” said local religious and homeowner association leader Dahlia Gillespie. “If I have to perform one more exsanguination where I can’t make out who’s in front of me, it’s gonna be hell to pay. We worship the Sun god for crying out loud, it’d be nice to see him once in a blue moon without having to eat a baby.”
“Let’s be honest, our tourism industry has taken a bit of a dip,” continued Mira. “Most of our visitors are despondent widowers, their demon children and aliens we don’t talk about. The few who make it in aren’t treated very well by locals, which is an attitude we need to work on. Rest assured, this is just the first step towards a brighter future for our beloved home.”
It remains to be seen how the project will pan out, but it’s a safe bet that the dehumidifier was probably actually dead the entire time.
New update! New map, monsters, items, sponsorships and meta progression 👻 May 2
Hello everyone, here's the first big update to Content Warning! We've added a bunch of new stuff like a new map, monsters, items, meta progression etc. We've also fixed some of the bugs and put in more logging to see if we can fix the rest.
Patch notes:
Added:
🎉 Added a new map
🎉 Added 13 new monsters
🎉 Added new item, Rescue hook
🎉 Added a hat shop
🎉 Added unlockable sky island upgrades
🎉 Added sponsored video deals that can be picked after the first week
🎉 Added MetaCoins for purchasing island upgrades and hats
🎉 Added a new rare cursed item in the old world
🎉 Added a mirror in the house
Changes/improvements:
🛠️ Changed level selection to random
🛠️ General Monster Balancing
🛠️ Various audio improvements
🛠️ Slightly boosted player voice range
🛠️ Reworked modding matchmaking
🛠️Optimized video network performance to get faster extractions in some cases
Fixes:
🪲 Fixed VSync not working after using the dive bell.
🪲 Fixed some sound issues including the sound echoing too much
🪲 Fixed issue where players would fall through the map when sleeping on the ceiling
🪲 Fixed issue where the camera would sometimes not go into the video extraction machine
🪲 Fixed issue where the game would end when you surface with only the broken camera
🪲 Fixed issue where the boom mic would extend your body’s hit-box
🪲 Fixed issue where the shock stick would only work once on monsters or team-mates
🪲 Fixed issue where holding an item when going up or down with the diving bell would cause issues picking up other items
🪲 Fixed issue where holding an exploding bomb would delete the player holding it
🪲 Fixed issue when the last player alive left you would not return to the surface
🪲 Possible fix for the dive bell door bug
🪲 Possible fix for the audio popping issue
🪲 Possible fix for defibrillator speed bug
We’re still looking into the other bugs reported with the Extraction bug being one of our priorities, with this update we’ve added logs to see if we can figure out what goes wrong. If the Extraction Failure bug happens to you please send us your logs (Found in: Appdata/Local Low/LandfallGames/Content Warning/player.log and player-prev.log while the game is still running) to support@landfall.se so that we can have a look, your logs may be the key to fixing it.
WASHINGTON DC – The 2024 US presidential election has become what one report, supported by publicly disclosed medical records, is calling effectively just a high-level Worms: Armageddon match.
The initial report came from a controversial “60 Minutes” interview with the parasite responsible for eating part of candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s brain in 2010.
“I’m not a ‘brainworm.’ I’m a Worm. Very common mistake,” said “Scuzzy,” in an exaggerated Brummie accent. “My mates and I found our ways in there, we did, after old Robbie dug up his N64 one rainy March morning. Didn’t eat nothing, but we were a bit naughty with some rockets. Explains a lot, don’t it?”
The interview led to widespread demand for other candidates to submit to voluntary testing, which many did in an attempt to acquire material for sick Twitter burns. Subsequently, a shocking number of politicians, including both President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump, tested positive.
“Obviously, this is new territory,” said secretary of health Xavier Becerra in a press conference on May 9. “We’ve discovered that what President Biden has long thought was his stutter was in fact the result of his Worms calling in supply drops and airstrikes. Many of his recent gaffes and physical mishaps can be seen as the natural consequence of his skull hosting a 4v4 tournament match. It’s all very distracting.”
While Worms are naturally considered a parasite, experts say they are considered largely benign. Sufferers report conditions of brain fog, difficulty with basic geometry, and a complete inability to aim the Ninja Rope.
When asked for his opinion on his Worms infestation at a Nevada rally on May 11, Trump only mentioned the superior quality of his Worms vs. those of opposing candidates.
“Worms! They call them worms, have you seen this?” Trump said, momentarily walking away from the podium and doing a physical imitation of a worm to rapturous applause. “It used to be that if you had a worm in your apple you got rid of the apple, right? Remember that? Well, Biden doesn’t just have a worm in his apple, he has one in his head. Wormy Biden has worms in his head, an open border, and if he wanted an apple it’d cost twice as much as it used to. Other than that I say he’s doing pretty good though, right?”
“I have worms too. I do. I do, your honor,” Trump added, pretending to be handcuffed. “But my worms helped me. I know all the best worms and they work for me. And people know that’s the kind of thinking this country needs.”
Legal scholars note that Worms are technically British citizens, as they were created by Team 17 in Wakefield, UK. In theory, this would disqualify all leading candidates from the presidency by dint of being influenced if not controlled by foreign nationals.
“What’re you going to do, though?” asked Pod Save America co-host Jon Favreau. “Vote for a third-party candidate with this much on the line? No, I’m sticking with Worms Biden.”
In response, Green Party presidential nominee Dr. Jill Stein released a statement that she had been extensively tested and was found to be entirely free of Worms. This caused a brief jump in her polling numbers that was quickly counteracted by the discovery that she had instead been colonized by Lemmings.
Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hintsas well as the answerfor the Wordle today May 15.
We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned, then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.
A verb that means to grasp or compress something between the fingers or a tool, often causing discomfort or pain.
Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter
The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“H”
Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter
The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“C”
Wordle Hint Today Third Letter
The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“N”
Wordle Hint Today Second Letter
The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“I”
Wordle Hint Today First Letter
The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“P”
Today’s Wordle Answer
And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.
Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.
That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 159 days straight! So here goes nothing:
3…
2…
1…
The Wordle answer today is “PINCH”
Previous Wordle Answers With Their Definitions
Wordle #1060 For May 14, 2024
“AMASS“
A verb that means to gather together or accumulate a large amount or number of something, often over a period of time. It is typically used to describe the process of collecting things such as wealth, resources, information, or other items.
Wordle #1059 For May 13, 2024
“CUMIN“
A spice in many cuisines around the world, particularly in Indian, Middle Eastern, and Mexican dishes. The seeds have a warm, earthy flavor with a slightly bitter undertone.
Wordle #1058 For May 12, 2024
“OUTER“
An adjective to describe something that is situated on the exterior or outside part of something else.
Wordle #1057 For May 11, 2024
“TIDAL“
Refers to the periodic rise and fall of sea levels caused by gravitational forces exerted by the moon and the sun on the Earth’s oceans.
Wordle #1056 For May 10, 2024
“MEDIA“
Various means of communication that reach or influence people widely. It encompasses different forms of mass communication, including newspapers, magazines, television, radio, the internet, and social platforms.
Wordle #1055 For May 9, 2024
“JERKY“
A type of dried meat that has been preserved through a process of dehydration. It is typically made from lean cuts of meat such as beef, pork, or turkey, which are sliced into thin strips and then dried to remove moisture.
Wordle #1054 For May 8, 2024
“PIOUS“
An adjective that describes someone who is deeply religious or devoutly observant of religious principles and practices. It typically conveys a sense of sincere reverence, devotion, and obedience to religious beliefs, rituals, and moral teachings.
DETROIT (MI) — Investigators are reportedly trying random garbage in their inventory to solve the murder of Travis Purcell, 32, the apparent victim of a brutal decapitation, according to an official statement.
This morning, Detective Michael Clark of Detroit PD’s homicide unit spoke to reporters about the authorities’ rush to beat the clock.
“At this point in the investigation, we have no suspects or potential motives. The culprit was thorough in covering their tracks and left very little evidence. However, while we might say that we are stumped, Detroit’s finest are relentless in their efforts to bring Travis Purcell’s killer to justice,” he said. “We have already begun the standard procedure of combining random shit from our inventory until a solution presents itself.”
The detective then presented a rubber duck and a canopener from the victim’s apartment out of his pocket, held them together, said, “hmm no dice,” then put them back in. He then pulled out that same rubber duck with a chinese take-out menu, said, “I don’t think that’s what rubber ducks are for,” and put them both in his pocket.
“It’s unfortunate but a lot of cases go unresolved for years this way,” said former Commissioner Suzanne Macklin. “Investigators try to be as thorough as they can but getting into the mind of a psychopath is incredibly difficult. Often times detectives won’t think to combine used chewing gum and dental floss to create a make-shift fishing line then using that fishing line to retrieve a key from a nearby claw machine until years after the case turns cold.”
Towards the end of his press statement, in a moment of desperation, Detective Clark pulled out his state-issued firearm and said, “I don’t think shooting the rubber duck would do anything,” before putting his weapon away.
UPDATE: Just after the press conference, police discovered a silver locket in a dumpster several miles away. Official statement by investigators detailed that “it’s a silver locket,” “looks important,” and “I should probably hold onto this just in case.”
At press time investigators are leaving no stone unturned, no hypothesis untested, and no random piece of shit uncombined with that silver locket they just found in the dumpster.
This hotfix specifically addresses an issue that some users have had with outdated/updating Epic Online Services.
However, it will not directly address other EOS related issue some users are reporting. We’re still trying to resolve that issue and will keep everyone updated as we know more.
Verifying steam game files will cause EOS to update to the latest version. We would suggest users do this even if they are not currently facing any issues.
For those users who have experienced issues with an EOS connection error, please ensure you have internet connection and verify the steam game files - in some cases this will rectify the issue. We are looking into other possible causes for this; If this or other issues persist, please submit contact customer support (click here) and we will investigate.
If after the hotfix - and file verification - users still find that their version of EOS has not updated, they will need to exit EGL (if it is installed), manually uninstall EOS, and then verify again. This will install the correct version of EOS.
See You in HELL-A
Those are the patch notes up through May 14 for Dead Island 2.
A compilation of all recent patch notes thus far for city builder Pioneers of Pagonia, in descending order, from latest to oldest:
UPDATED May 14
Patch 0.6.0 – New Quality of Life Improvements May 14
Atmospheric Lighting Setups, New Help Grid, Efficiency Statistics and More!
Dear Pioneers,
It's here! Our next update is packed with Quality-of-Life-Improvements and brand new features that will enhance your game experience of Pioneers of Pagonia. Take your time and read the patch notes carefully, because this update is full of great new stuff!
What’s new?
New Village State: Acquainted
Building Construction Mode: New Help Grid & Snapping to Road
Road Construction Mode: 90 Degree Snapping
Efficiency Statistics
Demolish Refund and Visualization
New Additional Light Setups
And many more!
Find the full list of changes in the patch notes below.
Developer Notes
The month of April just flew by and It feels like yesterday, that we've released our first multiplayer mode! It definitely made us really happy to watch all the co-op livestreams on Twitch. But, of course, there is still so much more to do! We kept ourselves busy by working on a bunch of new features and improvements we would like to share with you today.
New Village State: Acquainted
Being kind to other factions will pay off much sooner than before! The new state "Acquainted" is already achieved with 50% faction standing and will unlock some trade and gift offers with your friendly Pagonians from the neighborhood. This makes sure you can profit from the benefit of trade much earlier in the game.
New Building Construction Mode and Road Construction Mode
This one will please everyone, who prefers to plan out their settlements very accurately. First of all, there will be a new help grid, which will inform you about space available around the current building. This will make it much easier to estimate space for roads and other planned buildings!
Secondly, the entrance of a building will automatically snap to the road while hovering over an existing road or very close to it. This will definitely save you some time and make building your beautiful village much easier.
And lastly, this is for everyone, who loves 90 degree angles and straight lines: don't worry, we got you! The new road construction mode allows new planned roads to automatically snap to 90 or 180 degree angles if the current mouse position is close to those axes.
Efficiency Statistics
Now you will get even more information on individual buildings! Just hover over a building and it will show the efficiency value in the building tooltip. Also, if you select a building, the efficiency value is shown, too! This is very helpful to understand whether the building is operating continuously or not, and at which efficiency level.
New Additional Lighting Setups
We saved the best for last: Let us introduce three brand new lighting setups to make Pagonia look stunning! (it looked stunning before, but this is a whole new vibe!)
By using a hotkey (default: CTRL+L) it’s possible to change the current map lighting setup at any time. We are soo happy with how they turned out, because each of them is looking gorgeous and sets an entirely different mood!
We can't wait for you to try the different lighting setups and let your villages shine! Please share your screenshots with us on Discord or in the Steam Community Hub, we would love to see them!
Sunrise
Cloudy Daytime (Default)
Golden Hour
Sunset
And this is not all, there are more features in the patch notes below! We hope you enjoy these improvements in your next game session.
Pick up the tools, Pioneers!Your Envision Entertainment Team
Patch Notes 0.6.0
Features
New Village State: Acquainted
The new state “Acquainted” is already achieved with 50% faction standing
The “Acquainted” state already unlocks some trade and gift offers
The overall amount of trade and gift offers has been increased
Building Construction Mode: New Help Grid
In building construction mode, a help grid will now also inform about space available around the current building position. This is very helpful to immediately recognize if there is enough room to build a road along or around the building. Beside that, it helps in general to estimate available space for other planned buildings nearby.
Building Construction Mode: Snapping to Road
In building construction mode, hovering over an existing road or very close to it will snap the entrance direction of the planned building to the road. This means it is still possible to place buildings sideways to roads, but also to snap them to the road directly without the need to rotate the building.
Road Construction Mode: 90 Degree Snapping
In road construction mode, new planned roads will snap automatically to 90 and 180 degree angles if the current mouse position is close to those axes. The new planned road segment will snap to existing road segments, previous planned road segments and to existing buildings/construction sites.
Road snapping can be enabled and disabled with a new button in the road construction menu
Road snapping can be suppressed by holding CTRL (customizable)
Efficiency statistics: Individual building efficiency display
For each building with a continuous workflow, an efficiency value is shown
Hovering over a building will show the efficiency value in the building tooltip
For a selected building, the efficiency value is displayed, too. The tooltip of the value will show the efficiency graph for the last hour. This is very helpful to understand whether the building is operating continuously or not, and at which efficiency level.
Efficiency values are displayed for the following buildings:
9 different gathering buildings (Woodcutter, Quarry, Copper hut, etc.)
16 different production buildings (Sawmill, Weaponsmith, etc.)
Both farm buildings, reflecting successful harvesting
The efficiency value reflects actual positive results, not if the units are continuously busy. The value of 100% is a best case value, it can be lower for many reasons, depending on the building type. Here are some examples:
Missing input commodities, missing food supply (for mining) or full output piles
Weaker ingredients which consume more production time (copper instead of iron)
Rotting plants (for farms: more seeding, less harvesting)
Economy enhancement: Commodity redirection by more flexible input piles
Equipment items in training buildings which are currently not needed for the ordered and scheduled units of that building, will be released and redirected to other locations if they are needed there. This ensures that equipment can be exchanged between e.g. multiple guild houses or multiple military academies to handle the training/recruitment orders.
Input commodities in buildings which are currently not needed because their recipe has been disabled, will be released and redirected to other locations if they are needed there.
Demolish refund and visualization
Demolishing a building grants 50% (rounded down) of wood/stone construction materials that were used to construct the building
Cloth and rope are refunded 100%
A tooltip shows the amount of commodities refunded
A simple demolish visualization has been added
The demolish refund can help to escape deadlock situations (no more softwood beams, no more stone deposits, no more nutrition food for quarries)
New additional lighting setups
For customized maps you can select between one of several new lighting setups. At the very end of the “Map Setup” section, you will find a new dropdown for “Atmosphere”
By pressing a hotkey (default: CTRL+L) it’s possible to change the current map lighting setup at any time. The last active lighting setup will be part of the savegame.
The 4 available lighting setups are:
Sunrise
Cloudy Daytime (Default)
Golden Hour
Sunset
New directional atmospheric fog
The fog color reacts when facing the sun
Can be deactivated in the settings
Improvements
Gameplay
When a hunter is selected, nearby animals get highlighted
Rations and nutrition meals now still look different after being served at mining buildings
Map Setups
The landing party “Beginner” now contains some trade carriers
Added enemy level “Extremely many” which adds another 50% of enemies
Added landing party “Beginner (Extended for co-op)”
This landing party has been created for co-op to allow a faster game start. It has both more units and more commodities. Adding more enemies keeps the overall challenge similar.
Visuals
Improved reflection on the cliff textures
Misc
Audio mixing
Saved games can be deleted from the load and save menus
Loading the game to the main menu with many saved games is now faster.
Switched trade UI layout for better readability so that the player is on left side and the NPC side is on right side
Improvements in the UI layout
Improvements of the localized texts
Improved rendering performance through optimized LOD levels for characters
Optimized VRAM usage with optimized texture compression setup
“Join Co-op game” button got a tooltip
Reworked visuals for the thieves
Improved rendering of distance fog
Performance improvements on maps with a lot of Pagonians
Fixes
Gameplay
Fixed: Sometimes the building state “Construction paused” was not removed even though the building got finished
Fixed: Sometimes a guard tower did not get any reinforcements
Fixed: When a soldier was living in a residence or cottage, its selection window did not reflect this
Fixed: A Pagonian bitten by a werewolf would still show “Ready for new orders” when selected
Fixed: A bitten Pagonian did not have an icon
Fixed: Building preview got stuck at its current location if cursor hovers any UI while holding right mouse button
Fixed: Fishers do not block traffic
Fixed: Storage pile not accepting commodities under some circumstances
Fixed issue where farmers would disregard work orders
Fixed issues where neutral village territories would prevent road accessibility for points of interest
Visuals
Fixed: Sometimes fish were swimming into the ground when close to the shore
Forester now carries different looking hardwood and softwood saplings
Fixed: State "not enough to do for all staff members at the moment" stayed active when building was turned off
The color of porcini and raspberries baskets was too similar, so the white blanket was removed from the porcini basket
Fixed: Black rabbits suddenly turned red when dead.
Misc
Fixed: When changing the language, not all text was updated to the new language
Fixed several crashes
Fixed: Placed pings in a co-op session persisted in the world after last client left the session
0.5.5 – Hotfix April 29
Fixed several crashes during map generation
Fixed shader regression on AMD cards
0.5.4. – Hotfix April 25
Fixed some desyncs
Fixed a regression that made the game crash on Proton/Linux/SteamDeck.
Note: We currently do not support the game on Linux on a general basis, and there is a known issue that the game does not run on newer nVidia hardware.
0.5.3 – Hotfix April 18
Fixed a crash that could occur during map generation when low on GPU memory
Fixed several rarely occurring crashes
Fixed multiplayer join when the map was not yet finished generating
Improved compatibility with Intel Arc
Fixed a rare desync bug that could occur during multiplayer sessions
0.5.2 – Hotfix April 17
Fixed a crash that could occur during map generation
Fixed several rarely occuring crashes
Improved diagnostic logs for some crash reasons
0.5.1 – Hotfix April 16
Bug Fixes
Fixed a desync bug that could occur during multiplayer sessions
Co-op Update 0.5.0 April 11
Major Content Update: Shared Co-op with up to 4 Players!
Dear Pioneers,
We are excited to announce the release of our next major content update: Shared Co-op is now available! Get ready to play Pioneers of Pagonia together with your friends! The last weeks working on this feature have been a lot of fun. If you are looking for groups to play together do not hesitate to join our Discord channel and connect with other players.
Catch a first glance at gameplay by watching this short clip of our devs playing a Co-op-Session. Even game devs are not safe from hungry werewolves. :D
What’s new?
Shared Co-op: Up to four Players!
Three Ways to team up!
Multiplayer Saves
New Interface Features
Improved Audio Mixing
Several Fixes
Find the full list of changes in the patch notes below.
Patch Notes 0.5.0
New Feature: Co-op Mode
Shared Co-op is our first multiplayer mode. It means that up to four players can play one faction together without limitations. Any team member may place buildings, paths, send commands or change settings at any time for that one faction.
To team up, there are 3 ways:
You can join a Steam friend currently playing Pioneers of Pagonia anytime, if that player has set their game to “open for friends” and not to “private”.
While you are running a game, you can also invite Steam friends to join your game via the Steam friend invite overlay.
You can also copy a game ID of your current match and share it with other people to allow them to join. This is helpful if you want someone to join who is not on your Steam friend-list or if you want to make sure that only specific players who received the code can enter. To that end, players who have your current game ID can join even if your game is set to “private”, so no random friends can join in who just happen to see you play in Steam.
Multiplayer saves:
Any player participating can save multiplayer games, any player participating can continue the saved games. Other players can join until the player limit, currently 4 players, is reached. While the player who sets up the map is defined as the host, anyone else can take over that role in a restart when loading a save game. They can also continue alone later if they want to, so savegames can be used both for single player and shared co-op gameplay.
Interface features:
You can see a list of all participating players and their connection quality.
Each player receives an individual player color, which is used to differentiate the players in the user interface. The color is visible on the player's name list for easy recognition.
You can see where other players currently plan to place a building with an outline of their player color.
You can see the camera position of other team members on the overview map in their player color.
You and your team members can “ping” locations in the world (even multiple ones at a time) to mark points of interest, and those are both shown on the overview map and the world view in the respective player color.
If one or more players select a building, this is also visualized in the game world view with an outline border of their player color.
Playing together:
The host can pause the game by entering the game menu (ESC key)
The host can change the game speed
If commands of team members conflict, they get automatically resolved. E.g. if one interaction turns another one invalid, e.g. because there is no longer enough room for a building, the first command stays valid.
The UI feedback (e.g. you see if another player currently selects a building, probably to change settings) helps to avoid simultaneous actions unless intended. But parallel actions are still allowed whenever possible, e.g. multiple players can adjust settings, in the same building simultaneously.
Improvements
Audio mixing
Better logging for specific classes of errors
Improved diagnostics for some crash types
Fixes
Fixed: When cycling through buildings with the TAB key, it no longer jumps to invalid positions
Fixed: Sometimes an error message was shown that a guildhall was missing even if there was one
Fixed: Some buildings were showing smoke during construction preview
Fixed: The enable guidance checkbox in the start new game flow was sometimes missing
Fixed: Fixed issues where POIs could not be reached with roads
Fixed: Fixed several crashes during map generation
Fixed: Fixed several minor issues to improve map generation
Fixed: Tavern tables no longer count as building for the Build Buildings objective
Fixed: Builders and diggers will now finish their current work step when the building is paused during construction before leaving the building
Fixed: Upon changing the language not all texts were updated to the new language until the game was restarted
Fixed: Changed display of meal quality statistics to better reflect actual data
Fixed: Boars' selection window now explains that they scare civilians
Fixed: Non-fighting units do no longer display their combat strength
Those are the patch notes up through May 14 for Pioneers of Pagonia
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. – In a rare move, Electronic Arts granted the media full access to the entire Madden25 development team for a whole day leading up to the game’s November release. This Hard Drive reporter was one of the few to step foot into the offices, speak with game developers, and investigate what it is that makes people hate these games so much.
After arriving at EA’s headquarters in Redwood City, we were shuttled one hour south to the Madden offices in a deluxe bungalow on a beach in Santa Cruz. At the door we were greeted by Tripp, a 22-year-old intern in a cutoff shirt.
“Welcome to casa de la Madden!” He said as bong smoke billowed out of the doorway, “Make yourselves at home, beers in the kitchen, the bros are out back by the pool, and stick around after hours for movie night on the flat screen, we got Fast Five on deck!”
Tripp pointed to an underlit living room with three couches and four TVs. The beach house, which appears to have been a place where video games were programmed many years ago, has devolved into a frat house that seemingly only throws LAN parties.
“It’s not being released until November, so we’ve still got a ton of time to get started,” Senior Gameplay Developer Scoot MacReady told us without making eye contact. “Aside from adjusting the rosters and thinking of a card tier higher than 99 OVR there’s not much else to it. Maybe something like Amethyst Black Diamond?”
During the “work day” we witnessed a 45 minute meeting on the game’s soundtrack and cover athlete, an optional brainstorming session on microtransactions, and a handful of entry level programmers copying and pasting the code from Madden 24, 23, and 21.
“The hardest part is convincing the US Federal Trade Commission that buying Fantasy Packs isn’t gambling for children,” said Executive Assistant Chad Thurman in response to highlighting the difficulties of making a new game every year. “Luckily EA has lawyers out the ass to make all those government dorks disappear.”
At press time, the launch date for Madden25 has been delayed to account for the boy’s summer trip to Tahoe.
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