Brody R Thompson, Author at Hard Drive

“Are These All Going to Be Questions About Wario?” — Hard Drive Interviews Christopher Nolan

Posted on July 22, 2023 by Mark Roebuck

After four disastrous interviews, I was ready to try something more conventional. I was ready to interview someone from pop culture that wasn’t from video games. I thought filmmaker Christopher Nolan would be a great subject, and I caught wind of him going on a press tour to promote his new film Oppenheimer. Having been routinely denied conventional press passes during our six years as a website, I just bought a tip off the dark web and crashed a press junket. That was so much easier! I probably shouldn’t say a whole lot more, but rest assured I got my interview with Christopher Nolan, who’s latest film Oppenheimer is in theaters everywhere now.

~~~

Hard Drive: Hi, Mr. Nolan, thank you so much for giving us a few minutes of your time.

Christopher Nolan: Absolutely, my pleasure. People, right?

Hard Drive: Yeah, there are a lot of people out there. That’s for sure. Did you see the parking lot?

Christopher Nolan: No, I mean you’re People magazine, right?

Hard Drive: Um, sort of? Yeah.

Christopher Nolan: Sort of?

Hard Drive: No yeah, People. I am People magazine, that’s who I am.

Christopher Nolan: You’re being suspicious.

Hard Drive: I’m sorry. Look, here’s the deal. Here’s my whole deal. I write for People magazine, honestly, but then I also write for this thing called Hard Drive sometimes. I got a little mixed up is all, I’m sorry about that.

Christopher Nolan: What’s Hard Drive?

Hard Drive: I’m glad you asked, Christopher Nolan! It’s a video game site. We did satire forever, and we still do, but we do other stuff now, too. Feature articles and lists and game guides. Most of it’s pretty funny!

Christopher Nolan: That’s great. Video games aren’t really my thing, but good for you lads. Now, should we start the interview? My time is spread pretty thin today.

Hard Drive: Oh, yeah, for sure. Let’s start the People interview. Let me just check my notes here.

Christopher Nolan: Is that an old Nintendo Power magazine you’re looking at?

Hard Drive: I thought you didn’t know video games, Christopher Nolan?

Christopher Nolan: I can read the name of the magazine you’re holding.

Hard Drive: Touché. I’ll put it away. Now, let’s start the interview.

Christopher Nolan, thank you for speaking to uh, People magazine today. It really means a lot.

Christopher Nolan: Certainly, always a treat.

Hard Drive: Do you think Wario’s farts smell really bad? Or are they empty farts that don’t stink at all, on account of how he can summon them at will?

Christopher Nolan: I’m sorry, what?

Hard Drive: Wario. From the Mario Brothers games. I’m asking you about his farts.

Christopher Nolan: Are you pulling my leg? What’s going on here? I’m this close to walking out of here!

Hard Drive: Oh my god, I’m sorry. You’re right, what an entirely inappropriate question, for several reasons. Okay look, my inexperience is showing here, and I apologize for that. I was reading the wrong notes, and that was a question for a piece I’m working on about the digital release of The Super Mario Bros Movie. Did you see that?

Christopher Nolan: No, no I haven’t seen the Mario movie.

Hard Drive: Since we’re talking about it, do you mind if I get your thoughts on something? I think it would be cool if they put that guy Wario in the sequel, but also, I don’t know if they’d be able to keep him farting as much as he does in some of the games, you know?

Christopher Nolan: Oh come on, are these all going to be questions about Wario? I’m out of here.

Hard Drive: No, Chris, wait! I’m really sorry. I’m just trying to get comfortable. Can we chat about movies for a few minutes and then I’ll let you go? I know you’ve got a lot going on. I’ll straighten out, I promise.

Christopher Nolan: Fine. You’ve got two minutes.

Hard Drive: Thank you. Did you know they made a Barbie movie? It doesn’t seem very much like your movies at all. It just came out, too.

Christopher Nolan: Yes, I know about Barbie, and yes, I would agree with that statement. What’s your point, exactly?

Hard Drive: I think I’ll skip Barbie. I didn’t like those G.I. Joe movies at all.

Christopher Nolan: I don’t know what you want me to say.

Hard Drive: Did you like those G.I. Joe movies?

Christopher Nolan: I think this interview is over.

Hard Drive: No wait, let’s talk about Oppenheimer! Can I ask you about Oppenheimer?

Christopher Nolan: Fine. One question.

Hard Drive: The footage I saw in the trailer looks gorgeous. You probably want me to turn my phone sideways when I watch it, huh?

Christopher Nolan: I retire. That’s it. No more of this.

~~~

Wow! My first real scoop from one of these. So there you have it. Christopher Nolan is retiring! I’m not sure why he chose to announce it so abruptly, but the way everyone around him was freaking out and the way he kept yelling “I can’t do this shit anymore,” tells me he was serious. I can’t believe he told me of all the people he could’ve told. Oh, it’s probably because he thought I was writing for People magazine. Oopsie! Thanks for the interview, Chris. And thanks for all of the movies over the years!

30 Things George R.R. Martin Is Doing Instead of Writing ‘The Winds of Winter’

Posted on July 21, 2023 by Jeremy Kaplowitz

Uhhhmmmm when will George R.R. Martin write the next book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series?! We don’t know! That being said, we can give you SOME answers. Here’s every single thing the guy’s doing other than writing that next book.

#30 — Who cares?

Why does it matter to you? Leave the man alone. He owes you absolutely nothing. What are you his goddamn boss? Grow up.

#29 — Reading articles speculating on what he’s up to

Hi George! Hope you’re doing OK and that you like this article about you. Now I dunno if your old school computer has every key, but tab over into that Winds doc and start figuring out what Tyrion is up to in that chapter you’re stuck on.

#28 — Buying more of those hats

George’s life force comes from those hats he wears. He’s like that old story about the lady with the red ribbon around her neck who dies when she takes it off, except his ribbon is the hats. So if you want the book to come out soon, DO NOT take that off his head.

#27 — Switching places with Guillermo Del Toro

George and Guillermo Del Toro love doing sitcom-style mix-ups where they trade places for a few days and see if anyone in their families notice.

#26 — Spooning with a Daenerys Targaryen body pillow

Sure, it’s a little weird, but it’s technically his OC so it’s…. Actually that might make it more weird.

#25 — House of the Dragon motion capture

George gets in one of those black morph suits with the little white balls on them to capture the footage used to make every single CGI dragon in the popular HBO show House of the Dragon.

#24 — Living his life

Outside of being a famous writer, television producer, and blogger, rumors have been circulating that Martin may actually have a family.

#23 — Doing promo for HBO

George openly supports both the SAG and WGA strikes, but since he is the most famous non-SAG person working on House of the Dragon, George has agreed to take over all promotional responsibilities from the actors, including several sexy magazine photoshoots.

#22 — Acting out all the characters

George famously doesn’t plan out his books fully while writing them. Instead, he puts on wigs and acts out the scenes in his office, playing each of the characters and doing little voices for them.

#21 — Adding more Dunk and Egg books to his queue

Every few months, George gets another idea for a book in the Dunk and Egg series that he promises he will one day get to in the next 50 years.

#20 — Dying

This isn’t an indictment of George in any way. Every second that time clicks forward, we are all marching one step towards death.

#19 — Reading tweets from people asking him to write the next book

If more people tweet “when is Winds of the Winter comeing out now” at George, he will write the books faster.

#18 — Posting “fan theories” on r/asoiaf

George famously hangs out in the various A Song of Ice and Fire related subreddits claiming he has a “fan theory” about the upcoming books that will suspiciously be proven true once he eventually publishes the damn things.

#17 — Practicing stand-up comedy

The famed author says that as soon as he finishes The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring, he’s going to try his hand at stand-up comedy. He’s been practicing a bit in the mirror for the last few months, but after those books are out, he’s heading straight to the nearest open mic!

#16 — Working on Elden Ring 2

George R.R. Martin loved working on Elden Ring and is hard at work coming up with more names that start with G, R, and M. Hey wait a second…

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The Venture Bros. Movie Is Out and You Have Until August 12th to Watch The 10 Best Episodes Before They Leave Max

Posted on July 21, 2023 by Kevin Podas

Venturoos, you have been patient — and your reward is finally upon you. After 20 years and only 7 seasons, Venture Bros.: Radiant Is the Blood of the Baboon Heart, a feature-length film that sets out to conclude the long-running Adult Swim series Venture Bros., is about to be released. And what better moment to capitalize on that and make a listicle of the top 10 episodes of Venture Bros. than right now.

After its sudden and untimely cancellation in 2020, many fans (myself included) were terrified that so many of the dangling plot threads would remain un-concluded, hanging there, unanswered for all eternity. Shortly after its cancellation though, a revival was said to be in production via HBO Max in the form of a movie. But then the Warner Bros. Discovery merger happened, HBO Max became “Max,” and the ax came swinging down on almost every single production worth a damn.

But then, a miracle happened: a trailer dropped, and the movie was confirmed to be completed! So naturally the first thing I did upon hearing the good news was to sit my ass down and re-watch the series from the beginning, which is currently streaming in its entirety on Max. So without further ado: here are the top 10 episodes of Venture Bros. to rewatch before the movie. You know, before Max removes them from the library in like three weeks for some reason.

#10 — The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together Part 2
(season 3, episode 13)

“Why did you buckle it? Why did you do that?!” Most seasons of Venture Bros. end in highly cinematic two-parter conclusions, with this being the best of the bunch in my opinion. It feels like it truly closes off an arc of the show, with Brock Samson leaving the Venture family to work directly for O.S.I. again, Hank and Dean’s replacement clone surplus accidentally gets destroyed, and of course, the tragic death of Henchman 24. This episode was unbelievably hype, and is that perfect mix of irreverent humor and shockingly good worldbuilding that Venture Bros. is known for.

#9 — Any Which Way But Zeus
(season 4, episode 11)

“I fought an 8-year-old! And the only reason I won is because he fell on a spike!” Many of the great side characters of Venture Bros. get time to shine in this episode, as they are abducted one-by-one by a mysterious Zeus-like figure and forced to participate in a gladiatorial tournament. We see Henchman 21 start to come to terms with the death of his best friend Henchman 24, the original Captain Sunshine’s identity is revealed, and of course a lot of great Shoreleave action. Venture Bros.’ greatest strength is arguably its colorful cast of characters, and this episode gives them a whole lot of love and attention.

#8 — O.S.I. Love You
(season 5, episode 6)

“Washington wants a full report on this colossal cluster-fudge.” A lot of the best episodes of Venture Bros. have fun with switching up the show’s standard framing devices by telling a story in a completely different way from before. O.S.I. Love You begins with a rather tense cold open, but then the truth is slowly unraveled through a series of military interrogations while including a lot of hilarious interactions along the way. Creators Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick have an amazing talent of being able to come up with a seemingly endless amount of characters that are entire genre parodies in and of themselves, yet are confident enough to throw them away immediately if the plot requires it. Seriously: Shuttlecock, Tank Top, Bum Rush? I would watch an entire show about these guys, yet here they are used for simple joke fodder in one scene. Incredible.

#7 — ¡Viva los Muertos!
(season 2, episode 11)

“No groovy treats until you find a clue, dirtbag!” This episode is a lot of things at once, yet somehow pulls it all off graciously: Dr. Venture plays Dr. Frankenstein by reviving a dead henchman of the Monarch and forces him to become his slave, a shockingly dark parody of Scooby-Doo is portrayed in “The Groovy Gang,” and the Venture Bros. find out for the first time that they have clones of themselves, to which Dr. Venture responds by quickly fabricating a lie about those actually being their Christmas presents he was hiding. Classic doc. Apparently this is the only episode not written by Venture Bros. creators Jackson Publick or Doc Hammer, and is instead written by Ben Edlund who is the creator of The Tick, a show I loved as a young boy and shares a significant amount of DNA with Venture Bros.

#6 — Escape to the House of Mummies Part 2
(season 2, episode 4)

“Dean, stop riding the Perfect Man.” Escape to the House of Mummies Part 2 is Venture Bros. wackiness at its finest, simply in that there is no Escape to the House of Mummies Part 1. That’s the whole joke. The show really leans into its roots as a Jonny Quest parody in this episode, featuring globetrotting adventure, time travel, and H. Jon Benjamin as an arcane master of the magic arts who can’t stop licking his own crotch. Sometimes it’s just fun to break away from the main plot and have the characters goof off and do what they do best. And if story advancement happens, that’s a bonus.

#5 — All This and Gargantua-2
(season 6, episode 1)

“How do I modify the controller? This is like when I got stuck in that cart playing Red Dead Redemption.” Technically this episode aired as an hour-long special between seasons, but Max has it listed as the season 6 premiere so let’s just go with that. The complete opposite of the episode listed above, All This and Gargantua-2 is almost entirely focused on moving the show’s overarching plot forward. It almost seemed like it could be the conclusion to the entire series as a whole, if not for a few dangling threads left cleverly hanging. This episode also acts as an end of an arc of sorts, with the death of Jonas Venture Jr., and The Investors being gracefully dispatched by Dr. Henry Killinger. It’s also a wonderful reminder of how great it is to hear Toby Huss’ vibrant performance as General Treister.

#4 — Momma’s Boys
(season 5, episode 7)

“Boys, we are dealing with the type of criminal that would desecrate a child’s toy!” This episode features Venture Bros.’ accidental antihero Dr. Venture at his finest– narcissistic and completely oblivious to the world around him. The plot revolves around the boys tricking their gullible father with a talking teddy bear (a running gag from a previous episode) and then ends up turning into a full blown prison heist. We also find out that Hank and Dean’s mother isn’t who we thought it was, giving us one answer, yet leaving us with more questions yet again…

#3 — Past Tense
(season 1, episode 11)

“Oh, come on! You’re gonna kill me because I had fake sex on graph paper with a girl who barely spoke to you in real life?” Venture Bros.’ first season is incredibly strong. I must have seen the episodes on repeat endlessly while Adult Swim aired them in perpetuity before there was a second season. As such, Past Tense is an early example of the show’s hilarious use of worldbuilding, where we find out that Dr. Venture, Pete White, Baron Ünderbheit, and Brock Samson all went to the same college at the same time. The plot is told via a fun mix of flashbacks and present day scenarios, and includes a whodunit mystery that keeps us guessing all the way until the very end.

#2 — The Revenge Society
(season 4, episode 5)

“Two heads are better than one!” “What does that have to do with anything?” The Revenge Society is a nearly perfect episode of TV, remaining both thrilling and hilarious from beginning to end. It closes out the story of “the Orb,” which we come to find out was completely useless the entire time. Phantom Limb’s return after falling from grace is terrifying yet comical, and it gives us a shocking amount of background into the show’s bureaucratic organization of evil: the Guild of Calamitous Intent.

#1 — Guess Who’s Coming To State Dinner
(season 2, episode 9)

“Honestly? I’m kinda hoping to earn my wings on this deal.” Maybe it’s the goofy top hat and beard, but there’s almost always comedic gold when you put Abraham Lincoln into a cartoon, and this has got to be the best example there is. Guess Who’s Coming To State Dinner acts as a follow-up to an episode from season one. Colonel Bud Manstrong returns from space, is turned into a Manchurian Candidate set to assassinate the president by his mother, and can only be stopped by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln wrapped up in five dollar bills. The premise itself is pure gold, and the episode is wall-to-wall laughs with some of the best joke writing in the entire series.

There are so many great episodes and great characters that I didn’t even get to touch on in this list. But at the end of the day, it’s tough to truly pick the best episodes of Venture Bros. because heck, there ain’t a bad one in the bunch! Feel free to argue in the comments section or on twitter about it, though. We love engagement here.

Marvel Snap Destroy Deck Guide: The Best Destroy Decks in 2023

Posted on July 21, 2023 by Aun Haider

The Destroy deck archetype is one of the most unique in Marvel Snap. Destroy decks attempt to destroy a variety of the cards they play, triggering their on-death effects.

This playstyle requires precise deckbuilding to ensure that you have the correct proportion of cards that destroy, and those that want to be destroyed. Doing so rewards you with a deck that lets you blow up everything you play, and still end up with more power at each location than your opponent.

Here are our picks for the best Destroy decks in Marvel Snap.

Thanos Destroy Deck

This destroy deck takes advantage of Thanos and the Infinity Stones alongside powerful destroy cards. Each of the Infinity Stones (shuffled into your deck at the beginning of the match) have powerful On Reveal effects, but are very low in power. These can be destroyed by cards like Deathlok, Killmonger, Carnage, and Venom to clear out locations. Carnage and Venom also grow in power when they destroy other cards. Wolverine and Bucky Barnes are also cards that like to be destroyed due the effects triggered on their destruction. Death and Knull benefit from cards being destroyed as well, with Death becoming cheaper to play for each card destroyed and Knull gaining the power of all destroyed cards. Yondu, Killmonger and Shang-Chi provide a way to interfere with the opponent.

Marvel Snap Destroy Deck Guide: Nimrod

This Destroy deck features Nimrod, and plays more like a combo deck. Your ideal play is to use Invisible Woman to hide Shuri and Nimrod until the last turn of the game, where they are blown up by Deathlok, Carnage or Destroyer. This summon 12-power Nimrods to other locations.

Wolverine and Nova serve as fodder to be destroyed, with Nova having the nice benefit of boosting every other allied card by one power when destroyed. Taskmaster can copy the power of a card double by Shuri. America Chavez is a round six play when we do not have the Destroyer to destroy Nimrod if possible.

Galactus Deck

This deck is very unique, as it aims to destroy the opponent’s cards alongside yours. You want to use cards like Electro and Wave to play our Galactus as fast as possible, blowing up the other locations and all the cards in it. This boosts the power of our Knull as it absorbs the power of all cards destroyed. After Galactus has been played, we can play our other high-cost cards such as America Chavez or Destroyer to win the one undestroyed location. Death is also amazing post-Galactus, as she becomes very cheap to play.

Doctor Octopus can be used before playing Galactus to pull cards out of the opponent’s hand to a location that Galactus is able to destroy. This can be combined with Spiderman to force opponent’s to not play in a certain location, or after playing Galactus to prevent the opponent from doing anything at all. Yet again, Shang-Chi and Yondu are our means to interact with the opponent.

These are our pick for some of the best Destroy decks to play in Marvel Snap. The Destroy archetype can be played in a variety of ways, so see what you can discover. And, while you’re at it, check out our picks for the best move decks to try something new.

Audience Erupts in MCU-Like Cheers After Oppenheimer Says “I Am Become Death”

Posted on July 20, 2023 by Jeremy Kaplowitz

NEW YORK — An audience at the Times Square AMC theater erupted into the type of cheer one would see at a Marvel movie during a screening of Oppenheimer after the titular character gave his iconic “now I am become death” speech, according to those in attendance.

“It was so fucking sick. So fucking sick. Actually getting to hear Oppenheimer say ‘now I am become death’ on the big screen was 100% my ‘Avengers, assemble’ moment,” said moviegoer and nuclear physics fan Tyler Hancock. “As soon as he said it, the audience just went absolutely nuts. I mean, we cheered really loud when Einstein showed up — and everyone went nuts when he stuck out his tongue — but people were standing up and clapping for the ‘I am become death’ line. I’ve never felt such electricity in a movie theater before.”

Early reviews of the film have called it “an action-adventure romp filled with laughs, daring stunts, romance, and an infectious sense of fun.”

“Probably the most fun I’ve had in the theater in a long time. I was doing the Leo pointing meme every time someone mentioned a famous scientist or horrific bombing,” said Linda Michael. “There was one hilarious scene where Oppenheimer and his buddies are debating if they should nuke Japan and one of them just straight up hits the button, and then they’re like ‘Did you just… did you just do the bomb?’ and then Oppe is like ‘yeah, we may have just done the bomb.’ Everyone was laughing so hard, I’m gonna have to watch it again at home to catch all of the dialogue I missed.”

Director Christopher Nolan said he was pleased to hear people are enjoying the film the way it was meant to be seen.

“Oppenheimer is designed to be watched in a big rowdy crowd who just loves this shit,” Nolan said. “We know it’s dumb fun, but all the little references to the lore and the goofy moments… sure, you might call it ‘empty content,’ but it’s what we nerds love. And the best part for me? Seeing everyone go crazy after the credits when it said ‘Oppenheimer will return.’ We’re not just making one movie — we’re making a world. And Oppenheimer is gonna blow it up.”

At press time, early box office reports revealed that not a single person under the age of 30 had bought a ticket for Oppenheimer.

It’s Going to Be “Political” — Everything We Know About the Mario Movie Sequel

Posted on July 20, 2023 by Mark Roebuck

While no official announcements have been made, the moviegoing public is all but certain that this year’s wildly successful Super Mario Bros. Movie will spawn a sequel. While details are scarce, here’s a reminder of everything that’s been confirmed so far.

Mario is potentially in it

We have heard reports that the famed red-hatted plumber will be reprising his role in the sequel film, but these rumors have not been confirmed in any way.

Early script troubles

Chris Pratt reportedly held out not for more money as was originally rumored, but reportedly until the script was modified to remove a scene where two male Toads in a group shot were described as holding hands.

Luigi currently refuses to leave the picket line

“I am an actor now,” he said, while standing with other striking members of the SAG-AFTRA union. “This shit is in my blood and I will die for my brothers and sisters in the union.”

Reportedly set in Asia

The highly secretive script is rumored to involve Luigi, Princess Peach, and Toad as they join Mario for a trip to Abu Dhabi, where Mario’s ex is filming a new movie.

It will release the same day as ‘Oppenheimer 2’

Both highly anticipated blockbusters currently share a rumored release date of May 8, 2026

It will score a 73% on Rotten Tomatoes

Rotten Tomatoes announced today that the review scores of the upcoming Mario movie will officially average out to 73%. Exciting!

More popular songs on the soundtrack

The sequel will largely eschew the source material’s classic score in addition to real life rock songs like “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes and “Maggots are Falling Like Rain” by GWAR

It will be more political than part one

Nintendo has revealed that they are preparing several versions of the script, depending on who wins the 2024 U.S. Presidential Election.

Peacock will own the streaming rights

The Mario sequel will debut on the platform approximately five hours after the film’s theatrical release.

Scandal: Hudson Construction Sign Designer Lied About Engineering Degree

Posted on July 20, 2023 by Kyle Duggan

TARREY TOWN — Controversy has embroiled Hyrule Kingdom’s top construction contractor after a whistleblower revealed that a key employee had misrepresented his qualifications.

“I can’t apologize enough for this oversight, and I take personal responsibility,” said company president Hudson, who added that he had been distracted by a family matter during the hiring process. “I think we should all take a moment to be thankful that no one was hurt by these faulty signs. The individual in question is no longer with the company. We’re eager to move on and continue the vital work we’re doing for the kingdom.”

Addison, the man at the center of the scandal, said that he was driven to deception by his devotion to the company and its president.

“I’ve always looked up to Hudson. He’s literally the man rebuilding Hyrule,” said Addison, who clarified that he dropped out of college six credits short of a communications degree. “I just had to work for him. When I saw that the only job posting at the company required a Masters in mechanical engineering, I couldn’t help myself. I had already legally changed my name to be eligible to work for the company, so I didn’t see any harm in editing my resume a little bit. Now, I’m shattered. I can’t believe I disappointed President Hudson.”

A Hylian who witnessed Addison at work said it was a miracle that the story hadn’t ended in tragedy.

“I’m no engineer myself, but it was clear that this guy had no idea what he was doing,” said Kakariko Village resident Dorian, who noted that Addison held up his misshapen sign alone for days before help arrived. “The sign was so obviously unbalanced. Plus, he hacked these notches out of it for no discernable reason. When that blond kid showed up to help, I was relieved, until it became clear that he was just as unqualified as the first guy. They stacked a bunch of junk around it until it stopped falling over — which it did a lot, by the way. I didn’t let my kids play outside for a week.”

At press time, Addison was seen holding up a homemade sign atop a mountain in the middle of a thunderstorm, screaming that Hudson would have no choice but to take him back if he could only prove his devotion.

Every Gang in Cyberpunk 2077 Ranked by How Much They’d Like Jackass

Posted on July 20, 2023 by Taylor Roebuck

Anyone who’s played Cyberpunk 2077 knows Night City is chock full of gangs. Each has a distinct origin, ethos, and style, but they all share a few traits.

Every gang in Cyberpunk 2077 consists of ne’er-do-wells with a propensity for violence and little regard for their own physical wellbeing.

While Johnny Knoxville and company aren’t anywhere to be found in Night City, we’re pretty sure most of the gangs would probably like Jackass. Well, maybe some more than others.

Let’s investigate.

#10 — Voodoo Boys

The Voodoo Boys are a particularly cryptic gang that hasn’t cracked a smile since the ‘20s. Originally started by voodoo priests and priestesses, the Haitian group is enigmatic and hostile to outsiders. They give the distinct vibe that they’re not up for any antics, tomfoolery, or buffoonery.

They probably wouldn’t like Jackass at all, but they might tolerate Wildboyz.

#9 — 6th Street

Originally founded by war veterans, 6th Street consists of well-armed, camo-clad jabronis with the cadence of a drill sergeant. Its members claim to uphold law and order in Night City, but, as Johnny Silverhand puts it, they primarily “vomit lofty patriotic bullshit all day.”

If you showed 6th Street Jackass: The Movie, they’d enjoy it at first, but then it’d start to lose them. They’d find taking a shit in a hardware store disrespectful, and the first time Steve-O puts something in his butt, one of them would shoot the tv.

#8 — Tyger Claws

The Tyger Claws are possibly the most dangerous/hardcore gang in Cyberpunk 2077. In addition to being completely batshit, they’re bankrolled by the largest corporation in the country. They’re armed to the teeth, drive super-fast flashy vehicles, and seem to be actively committing a crime at all times.

They wouldn’t necessarily have anything against Jackass, but they’re simply too busy fucking terrorizing the city with samurai swords to watch tv.

If they had some time to kill while waiting outside a casino with guns or something, you could probably amuse them with some clips on your phone. Or maybe you describe some of your favorite bits — one of them might respond with an affirmative, “That’s funny.”

#7 — Scavengers

The Scavengers are a bunch of assholes who exclusively prey on innocent people, harvesting their cyberware and organs for profit. These windbreaker-loving fucks have no regard for human life.

They’d like any Jackass bit that could be classified as mean-spirited — e.g. when Bam beats up his dad or any instance when Ehren McGhehey is bullied. But if you tried to show them the one where Wee-Man runs around as a traffic cone — they’d immediately lose interest.

Scavs would probably go apeshit for Bum Fights, though.

#6 — Wraiths

The Wraiths are a gang of excommunicated nomads who were all kicked out of their original clans for doing something unspeakably terrible. Think the island of misfit toys — but much darker and mandated to stay at least 500 feet away from schools. Wraiths are a lawless bunch that has nothing left to lose.

They’d like Jackass, but not for the right reasons. Wraiths would watch it for 10 minutes, then start recording videos of them shooting each other in the dick.

Like all failed Jackass clones, they’d ultimately fall short due to a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes it funny.

#5 — Valentinos

One of the most prominent gangs in Night City, the Valentinos have an affinity for flashy gold cyberware, Santa Muerte tattoos, and lowriders adorned with religious iconography.

Ignoring the nefarious parts of being a gang, the Valentinos seem relatively laid back and definitely make time for recreation. If you showed them a well-curated selection of Jackass while they were hanging out in a living room, it would be a big hit.

The Valentinos would love the one where Brad Pitt gets kidnapped or when they piss off golfers with an air horn. But anything involving bodily fluids would 100% elicit the phrase “pinche pendejo.”

#4 — The Aldecaldos

One of the oldest nomad groups in Night City, the Aldecaldos are a lovable bunch of ragtag road dogs. Their ethos emphasizes family values — in a non-CPAC way — and they spend many nights hanging out, drinking beer by a bonfire.

The Aldecaldos would fully embrace Jackass. But if Panam was in a mood, she’d probably say something shitty and unplug the tv.

#3 — Animals

Animals are a group of absolute units with a unique love for physical violence. These freaks of nature are often hired muscle and the most-feared bouncers in Night City. In their spare time, they run and compete in illegal fighting rings. In a constant quest for the ultimate pump, they drink their own homemade hormone cocktail called “Juice.”

Shit yeah, these guys would like Jackass. They’re meatheads that fight for fun. Their intense, instantaneous love for Jackass would quickly become detrimental to the people and property around them.

The Animals would completely disregard the little “do not try this at home” disclaimer.

#2 — The Mox

The Mox is a relatively small group consisting of “mostly sex workers, anarchists, punks, and sexual minorities,” according to the Cyberpunk Wiki. As their name implies, they ooze moxie, and they even have their own apparel brand called BITCH.

On the surface, they’d seem bemused by Jackass, but it would quickly become their comfort viewing. The Mox are the kind of folks that would party with the Jackass crew. Rita (the bouncer of Lizzie’s bar) would entertain Johnny Knoxville for hours with stories, and the other guys would unsuccessfully hit on every Mox in the vicinity that wasn’t brandishing a baseball bat.

#1 — Maelstrom

Considered the most dangerous gang in Night City, the Maelstrom is a particularly violent bunch that loves inhaling chemicals and installing excessive chrome in their dome. Besides your standard drug smuggling, the Maelstrom own and operate an exceptionally gnarly death metal club called the Totentanz.

These lunatics would love Jackass. It would run on an endless loop in their venue while they huff dubious substances. Inevitably, one of them would probably be inspired to pull out a cattle prod, and the night would take a dark turn.

Metal Gear Solid Convention Proves There’s Life for the Series After Kojima

Posted on July 20, 2023 by Seth Finkelstein

I did not expect to ever spend a Saturday in a hotel basement surrounded by people wearing camouflage while a man in an ill-fitting suit stood addressed an audience, bellowing “Make America Great Again!”

That was before I found myself watching the Cosplay Contest at the first-ever MGSCon at the Los Angeles Airport Hilton on July 15th as a man dressed as Senator Armstrong from Metal Gear Rising Revengence took the stage, sandwiched between a Sunny Gurlukovich and a full-sized recreation of the D-Walker portable mech.

Metal Gear has had a rough go of it recently. It has been years since the release of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, the last major release in the series, and that game’s contentious development led to the departure of series creator Hideo Kojima from his longtime home at Konami. Kojima went on to form his own independent studio, releasing Death Stranding with the help of Sony, while Metal Gear has laid dormant since the release of Metal Gear Survive in 2018 to middling critical and fan reception. But judging from the energy in the room during the convention, this drought of content has not tempered the passion of the fan community.

Funded via Kickstarter in March 2023, MGSCON was the brainchild of content creator Amanda Lemon and a small team of four. “Amanda really saw how much the community was still around even though there hasn’t been a game released in eight years,” said organizer Joe Vella. “We really wanted to do something to bring that community together.”

The crowd at the convention showed off the breadth of that community. Series veterans who have been online trying to decipher the Metal Gear storyline since the first game’s release mingled with younger fans who just started dipping their toes in this year, while young families attempted to get their babies to look at the camera as they posed for pictures with their favorite voice actors. “It’s not just your average shooting game,” said cosplayer Landon as they stood next to a large customized cardboard box. “There’s a deeper message to the stories.”

If there can be things like an annual Lebowski Fest, there’s definitely room for a Metal Gear Solid convention to grow.

It’s not just the fans who share such a deep bond over these games. Mid-afternoon’s Voice Over Q&A panel took on the energy of a Great British Bake Off finale as cast members from across the series came together to share their genuine love for the series. Starting initially as a conversation between actors Vanessa Marshall (Olga Gurlukovich) and Cam Clarke (Liquid Snake), more and more actors joined the stage as the panel went on (While the Hilton had been warned ahead of time to expect a copious amount of military personnel, even putting up pictures of MGS cosplay in the service corridors so staff would know what to look out for, the lobby cafe clearly wasn’t keeping up with the lunch rush). Halfway through the panel, the telltale sound of an incoming codec transmission revealed an unannounced Zoom appearance by Jennifer Hale (Naomi Hunter) and Solid Snake himself, David Hayter.

The cast comfortably traded jokes back and forth while also speaking candidly about the struggles they face as actors in a field with no residuals whatsoever. Greg Eagles (Grey Fox) spoke passionately about SAG and the WGA’s fight for a fair deal, while Hale said “We’re all boiling frogs” in regards to the disparity between worker and CEO pay across all industries. Many of the panelists thanked Hayter for fighting for higher wages for his fellow actors as the series went on. The crowd was receptive, with several audience questions ending with a call of support to the actors and writers.

So what is it about the series that has made so many people, from casual gamers to professional voice actors, want to throw on a tuxedo or chicken hat and spend the day in an extremely hot function hall? Nitroid, one of the hosts of the Kojima Frequency podcast, says that the community has embraced the series’ silly side, coming together over the deeper themes wrapped in an overcomplicated shell. “People from all over the political spectrum can make an argument that Metal Gear reflects their ideology,” he said.

Vella says the team hasn’t yet discussed the potential of making MGSCON an annual convention, but it’s clear that the affection the community has for the series’s story, characters, and overall weirdness shows no sign of slowing down. Even without the hand of Hideo Kojima guiding the franchise, people still love and care for these games. Vella notes the coincidence that Konami announced a full-on remake of Metal Gear Solid 3 just months before the convention. It remains to be seen if Konami can hold onto those elements that make the series so beloved to these fans, but one thing’s for sure. They’ll be there day one.

Pokemon GO Zorua Guide: How to Get & Catch Zorua

Posted on July 20, 2023 by Christian Dawson

Want to know how to find and catch Zorua in Pokemon GO? Then look no further, as we’ve got you covered. Zorua is a dark-type Pokemon from the Unova region that was introduced in 2022. It’s a particularly difficult Pokemon to track down. Fortunately, we’ve got all the ways to subvert and capture it.

Where To Find Zorua In Pokemon GO

Zorua in Pokemon GO is a tricky devil. It spawns in the wild but doesn’t appear as itself. Instead, Zorua will take on the appearance of the trainer’s Buddy Pokemon. This is similar to how Ditto works in the game where upon capture, the screen will say “Oh?” instead of “Gotcha!.” From there the transformation will play out and reveal the sneaky little fox wolf dog thing.

There are a couple of ways to make tracking down Zorua a bit easier. The first is to swap your Buddy to an uncommon, rare, or legendary Pokemon. The reason for this is that these Pokemon will seldom, if ever, spawn in the wild. So, when you see one pop up in the overworld, you know it’s a Zorua.

That same trick also works with setting a shadow or shiny Pokemon as your Buddy. Shadow Pokemon only appear in select raids or upon beating a Team GO Rocket opponent. Shiny Pokemon do not appear on the overworld and only reveal themselves when going to the capture screen. However, if your Buddy is a shiny Pokemon, the hidden Zorua will also take on that appearance.

When you suspect you have a Zorua on the line, make sure to use a Pinap Berry or Silver Pinap Berry to increase the number of candies obtained when capturing the Zorua. It will take 50 candies to evolve into a Zoroark.

Zorua Stats, Moves, and Bonuses

Zorua is a dark-type Pokemon and the bulk of its moves utilize dark attacks. It can learn the flying-type Aerial Ace Charged Attack, but for raw damage output, we recommend Dark Pulse.

Base Stats

Attack: 153
Defense: 78
Stamina: 120

Possible Moves

Fast Attacks:
- Feint Attack – Dark – 10 Power
- Scratch – Normal – 6 Power
Charged Attacks:
- Aerie Ace – Flying – 55 Power
- Dark Pulse – Dark – 80 Power
- Foul Play – Dark – 70 Power

Elemental Bonuses

Resistant To:
- Dark
- Ghost
- Psychic
Weak To:
- Bug
- Fairy
- Fighting

That’s all there is to spotting and capturing a wild Zorua. If you’re looking to add a contrasting to your roster, check out our guide on evolving a Sylveon!