Alexmcmillan, Author at Hard Drive

Chris Pratt Debuts Pitch-Perfect Mario Impression in Interview Just to Fuck With You

Posted on October 8, 2022 by Camden Brazile

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Star of the upcoming Super Mario Bros. Movie, Chris Pratt, shocked Mario fans by debuting a pitch-perfect Mario impression just to fuck with you.

“It’s-a me! Mario! Wa-hoo!” said Pratt in a staggeringly perfect Mario dialect before shifting back to his regular monotone. “That’s right. I can do it. It’s not even hard for me, I’ve always been able to do it. I just do not want to. Why am I choosing to use my regular speaking voice, and dialing back any emotion or inflection? Fuck you. That’s why. Go fuck yourself, I hate you. My Mario voice is just for me.”

Pratt went on to explain that his role in the Nintendo-backed film was due to his pristine imitation of the famed Italian plumber.

“When [Illumination] cast me, they didn’t even know it was the star of Guardians of the Galaxy, they just thought they were getting a perfect Mario voice that would work for scale,” a grinning Pratt said. “When I showed up, they were incredibly surprised, but I assured them I would stay true to the character’s iconic voice. When I got in the recording booth, however, I flat out refused to do anything but my phoned-in regular voice, completing my master plan. I’m in breach of contract, being sued for millions, and will likely never work again, but it was worth it, because you’re pissed off. Fuck you. Bitch.”

At press time, sources at Illumination reported that Luigi fans will still be delighted by Charlie Day’s impeccable voice impression of a slightly-panicked Charlie Day.

How to Level Up Overwatch 2’s Battle Pass Quickly

Posted on October 7, 2022 by Richard Tammaro

With the switch to free-to-play, Overwatch 2 has introduced a Battle Pass progression system. This new system includes all the pros and cons you would expect from a Battle Pass, including the possibility of being left behind when the season ends and you can no longer unlock all the cool rewards. So, how do you gain Battle Pass Levels fast?

Overwatch 2 Battle Pass Explained

First, let’s examine the new Battle Pass system in a bit more depth. Overwatch 2’s Battle Pass will last for 63 days and features 80 tiers with both free and premium tiers. Each tier requires 10K XP to complete, meaning a total of 800K XP is required to complete all 80 tiers. The rewards vary from player icons, Hero voice lines, and newly introduced charms to Hero skins and even some Heroes. Of course, the premium tiers include more rewards than the free tiers and at a cost of $10 USD, include a 20% XP increase for the season; however, both tiers include ways to unlock any new Heroes.

As for leveling up fast, there are three main ways to gain XP for the Battle Pass:

Utilizing Queue Priority

You may notice before searching for a game that you can earn additional XP for playing specific roles. This is only true in game modes that include role queue. Basically, to help fill games, Overwatch 2 has reimplemented a reward system that existed in the original Overwatch. When not enough players are queuing for a specific role, the game will reward you additional XP for playing that role and completing the match.

Completing Matches

Completing matches is the most obvious and abundant way to rank up. There is no limit on how much XP you can earn in a given day or week by completing matches, but it is important to note that you’ll only be gaining small amounts per match. The amount gained will fluctuate based on your performance and if you win or lose; however, these fluctuations are minor in the grand scheme of finishing every tier.

Completing Overwatch 2 Battle Pass Challenges

Completing Challenges is the most lucrative and fast way to level up. There are four separate sets of challenges that reward Battle Pass XP available in Overwatch 2: Daily, Weekly, Seasonal, and Lifetime. Pay attention to the descriptions of Challenges as some are restricted to only progressing in certain game modes.

Daily Challenges, as the name implies, replenish every day. You will be given a random set of 6 Challenges. Every Daily Challenge awards 3,000 XP and some are easier to complete than others, so it is recommended to focus on whatever Challenges are the easiest/fastest to complete first.

Weekly Challenges reset at the beginning of each week. You will be given a set of 11 random Challenges to complete. Each Weekly Challenge awards 5,000 XP and if you are lucky, it is possible for Weekly Challenge tasks to overlap with Daily Challenges so you can stack Challenge completions. A common example is a Daily Challenge to win 1 match and a Weekly Challenge to win 10 matches.

Seasonal Challenges are not as rewarding per task as Daily or Weekly Challenges; however, there are a whopping 41 of them available to start Season 1. These Challenges are generally hero/map-specific and require more work, but should be easily accomplished before the end of the season by avid players. Most will net you 500 – 1,000 XP per completed Challenge, except for two of them. Experienced Competitor and Veteran Competitor reward 3,000 and 5,000 XP respectively.

Lifetime Challenges are the last category and unlike the previously mentioned Challenge types, rewards additional cosmetics along with XP upon completion. With that in mind though, the cosmetics are the primary reward here and the XP feels like an afterthought. At launch, there are 25 Lifetime Challenges to complete and each rewards a measly 500 XP.

Overwatch 2: How to Play Ana (Abilities, Skins & Changes)

Posted on October 7, 2022 by Paulo Kawanishi

Overwatch 2’s supports are many and Ana stands out among them thanks to her capacity to not only maintain her teammates alive but also respond to enemy attacks as well as deal damage. She is a more active type of healer, since Ana uses a sniper rifle to shoot allies to keep them alive or to take down annoying enemies. Her kit can be powerful although she is not the easiest support to play with. Here is a complete guide on how to play Ana in Overwatch 2.

Ana’s Abilities

Ana’s kit is simple since it gravitates around shooting allies and enemies, but it’s effective in many situations. On the other hand, how well you will perform playing her depends on whether you have good aim or not.

In case you’re considering choosing her to play as a healer, you should understand how her healing functions. Ana uses her Biotic Rifle to shoot allies in order to heal them. In contrast with other healers present in the game, Ana does healing over time (HoT). In other words, whenever she shoots a teammate this character will receive a small quantity of healing over a short period of time.

Her Biotic Rifle has another function. If you shoot an enemy with it, instead of healing it, you’re going to deal damage over time (DoT). Although it will work similarly to the healing process, Ana can be quite lethal with her shots considering an average character (Soldier: 76 for example) may die after getting hit by two to three darts.

Remember that if you hold the Secondary Attack button, you can aim using Biotic Rifle’s scope!

Because Ana’s healing/damaging capacity is directly connected to her Primary Attack, her abilities are more focused on filling some gaps.

One of Ana’s abilities is the Biotic Grenade and this is meant to compensate for the slow healing she has as well as help deal with enemies. By using this ability, Ana throws a grenade that heals and amplifies the healing received in the players hit by it. At the same time, hitting enemies with it will not only damage them, but the Biotic Grenade also prevents their healing.

The second ability Ana has at her disposal is the Sleep Dart. Using it makes Ana shoot a dart that puts the enemy player to sleep for some seconds, preventing them from using skills and moving. This ability’s goal is not to deal damage since its efficiency in this matter is quite low. However, you can interrupt some ultimates from other characters by hitting them with a dart. Keep in mind that the effect of the dart ends upon hitting an attack on the sleeping character.

Ana’s ultimate is called Nano Boost. Once used, Ana shoots a boosting dart to an ally, increasing their damage and reducing the damage taken by them. Even though this is not an extremely powerful ultimate that can mitigate the enemy team’s attacks, it can be fundamental in helping your team to take an objective or wiping enemies off the map.

In terms of passive abilities, Ana hasn’t much to offer. She comes with her Passive Role ability Support, a trait that makes her automatically heal herself over time. This ability triggers after some seconds without taking damage. This is a good passive to have, so support characters can prioritize healing teammates.

Overwatch 2 Ana Changes

Compared to other characters, Ana hasn’t suffered any major change in Overwatch 2. The Support Passive Role ability has been added to her kit and the amount of ammo she has was increased by 3 rounds, but besides that, she’s still the same from the previous version of the game. Her skills have gone through minor tweaks that made Ana a little less powerful and demand players to be more intentional when using her abilities.

This is what changed in Ana’s kit:

Ana’s Sleep Dart cooldown is fifteen seconds.
The effect of Biotic Grenade was reduced from four to three seconds.

Ana Strategy and Team Composition

Playing Ana demands players to know where to position themselves and how to prioritize when a skill should be used. Ana is a quite squishy character, so you must always try to stay in the backline of your team while you heal your teammates and hit some enemies. After all, choosing Ana over other healers means that you will be looking for opportunities to damage enemies. If this is not what you’re looking for, consider other healers.

Since Ana is a sniper and her healing potential depends on you hitting shots, she is a character with a high skill ceiling. The fact she also eventually needs to use the scope to reach farther enemies or allies in a fight makes Ana a very vulnerable character for enemies whose goal is to finish the team’s backline. So, it’s important to take cover inside a house or on higher ground. By doing so, you’ll be capable of offering support to your team without taking too much risk.

Another important aspect of playing Ana is to know when to use her skills and which teammate should be boosted with your ultimate. First, the Sleep Dart is extremely powerful. Look for situations such as an attack from the enemy team to take their tank down. Did you see a teammate being pulled by Roadhog’s hook? Shoot him with it and save your friend. Keep your eyes open for when some ultimates that you can cancel with her Sleep Dart. Soldier: 76, Cassidy, Genji, Roadhog, and Pharah are just some examples of whom you can save your Sleep Dart for.

On the other hand, Biotic Grenades are great to save your team from a combo or for moments in which you see Ana’s healing won’t do the job by itself. Since it works as an area-of-effect healing skill, prioritize using it when more than two teammates are closer.

Ana’s ultimate is not difficult to use, but you should always consider who is the best option to capitalize from it. The general rule of thumb is to boost a tank, such as Reinhardt, Roadhog, or Zarya, and damage dealers, such as Genji and Soldier: 76.

Considering all these aspects of how to play Ana, the compositions she works the best are always with another support that can quickly provide the party with a big quantity of healing. Mercy, Moira, and Lúcio are great options because their healing is more potent. Having fast characters in your party like Genji and Tracer that are supposed to flank the enemy team, can be hard for less experienced players. However, with good communication and practicing your aim, this is not an impossible scenario.

Overwatch 2 Ana Skins

As of the time of writing this guide, Ana has 20 different skins to be unlocked. Keep in mind that not all of them are always available, since Overwatch 2 has a considerable number of skins from seasonal events.

Overwatch 1 – Automatically unlocked

Overwatch 2 – Automatically unlocked

Rare (75 credits)

Citrine
Garnet
Peridot
Turquoise

Epic (250 credits)

Ghoul – Seasonal event
Merciful
Shrike
Tal – Seasonal event

Legendary (1900 credits)

Cabana
Corsair – Seasonal event
Captain Amari
Horus
Mummy – Seasonal event
Night Owl – Seasonal event
Sniper – Seasonal event
Snow Owl – Seasonal event
Wadjet
Wasteland

Now that you learned all the basics about Ana, have fun playing her!

Overwatch 2: How to Play Sombra (Abilities, Skins, & Changes)

Posted on October 7, 2022 by Eliot Lloyd

Overwatch 2 is finally here, bringing a small, albeit meaningful, mechanical rework for everyone’s favorite hacker, Sombra.

Sombra has a fairly unique playstyle for Overwatch. Being one of the only heroes that can utilize permanent stealth, she’s great at finding unique angles of attack for flanking or seeking out-of-position enemies to isolate and murder.

She used to function as a disabler, hacking her enemies to deny access to their abilities, but this has been toned down in her rework to refocus her kit towards bopping enemies harder.

Who is Sombra?

Born in Mexico as Olivia Colomar, she was orphaned during the Omnic Crisis. A naturally skilled hacker, she joined the gang Los Muertos, using her skills to hack the government on their behalf as part of their social revolution.

She became so renowned that she attracted the attention of Talon, the terrorist organization driving much of the background conflict in Overwatch’s story. Agreeing to work for them, she now uses her hacking skills for their sketchy goals. Well, when she feels like it.

Overwatch 2: Sombra Weapons and Abilities

Machine Pistol – a short range automatic weapon.

As basic as you can get. Sombra’s machine pistol leaves a lot to be desired compared to other heroes. On its own it does moderate damage, but the spread and mid-range damage falloff makes it unreliable at distance. Making the most of her pistol requires the use of her signature abilities; Stealth to get in close and Hack to boost her damage.

Stealth – become invisible and move quickly. Cooldown: 6 seconds.

By far the most noticeable aspect of Sombra’s kit is that your enemies don’t notice her at all. Stealth renders her completely invisible to enemies, allowing her to position herself without all the nasty business of getting shot at.

Be warned though, whilst you’re within 4 metres of an enemy or you’re hacking them, you will be visible. Taking or dealing damage will also completely drop Stealth, putting it on cooldown.

Hack – hold to hack. Hacked enemies cannot use abilities briefly, and can be seen through walls. Hacked health packs spawn faster but can’t be used by enemies. Taking damage interrupts the hack attempt. Cooldown: 4 seconds.

If you thought Hack was important before, it’s now the cornerstone of playing Sombra effectively. Upon successfully hacking an enemy, Sombra will disable their ability usage for one second, and apply the hacked status for ten, enabling her reworked Opportunist passive to increase her damage.

Without Hack, Sombra’s damage isn’t usually enough to kill someone before the enemy team notices and collapses on you. If you use it right you can make some choice eliminations on the squishier enemies. Also, with the new, lower cooldown you can Hack more often. If an enemy manages to survive long enough then feel free to Hack them again to mess with their abilities.

Don’t forget to hack health packs too! It’s a great denial tool if used on them behind enemy lines, and speeding up a health pack’s respawn can get you back into the fight much quicker.

Translocator – throw a beacon, then press again to teleport to it. Cooldown: 6 seconds.

Sombra’s get out of jail free card. Proper usage separates the good Sombra players from the dead Sombra players. Since the enemy team can destroy the beacon, you want to place it somewhere out of the way, preferably close to a health pack. This ability demands knowledge of the map if you want to use it efficiently, as placing it too far from the action means you end up spending most of the game running back into the fray.

For those who like to live on the edge, you can also save the beacon for traversal. You can throw it a reasonable distance, allowing access to normally out of reach places for someone that can’t climb walls or fly. Just keep in mind that the cooldown begins from the moment you throw it, if you teleport right away you’ll need to wait a few before being able to activate it again.

Ultimate: EMP – deals damage equal to 40% of all nearby enemies health, hacking them and destroying barriers around you.

This is the big one. Being able to wipe 40% off of a group of enemies is nice, but coupled with the hack and barrier destruction it’s one of the stronger initiates in the game, assuming your team is ready to take advantage of it.

Try not to use this when you’re alone or there’s only one or two enemies. It works best if you wait till the enemy team has grouped and a skirmish is about to take place, letting you catch them off guard. A well timed EMP will make the enemy team go into full panic mode, just be wary that it will end your stealth and put it on cooldown.

Passive: Opportunist – you detect critically injured enemies through walls, and deal 40% more damage to hacked enemies.

This is Sombra’s new bread and butter mechanic. With her crowd control abilities nerfed considerably, her hack now functions primarily as a way to buff her damage through Opportunist. This takes her normally middling damage output and puts it on the higher end. Just remember you still need to be pretty close if you want to actually hit people with her machine pistol.

Additionally, being able to track injured enemies helps her stalk the targets that get away. That Pharah over there thinking she’s safe hiding behind that shop counter whilst smashing the “need healing” emote? She was as good as dead the moment you set eyes on her.

Passive: Role: Damage – eliminations grant a burst of increased movement and reload speed.

All damage heroes now have access to this passive. It’s not exactly game changing, but having it for free is nothing to complain about. Sombra should be able to make good use of this passive, assuming you can secure the kill after dropping stealth, as the bonus movement and reload speed can help you survive against their vengeful teammates.

Changes to Sombra in Overwatch 2

Although Sombra’s Overwatch 2 abilities mostly remain intact from Overwatch, Blizzard have made some minor tweaks that have major implications for how Sombra is played:

She no longer breaks stealth whilst hacking, instead she only becomes revealed temporarily.
The detection radius on her stealth has been increased from 2m to 4m.
The dropping stealth animation has been shortened by 50%.
Her Hack only disables enemy abilities for one second rather than five.
The cooldown on Hack is lower, and is no longer halved when hacking health packs.
Health pack hack duration has been reduced from 60 seconds to 30 seconds.
The hack status now lasts for ten seconds and reveals enemies to your team.
Her Opportunist passive now increases Sombra’s damage against hacked targets by 40%.
The new Role: Damage passive ability grants movement and reload speed upon enemy elimination.
Her EMP ultimate now deals damage equal to 40% of a victim’s current health. However, it no longer destroys shields.

Sombra Strategy and Team Composition

Being a damage role hero, Sombra’s not particularly resilient. Even compared to other damage dealers she suffers when under fire, relying mostly on her translocator to get out of danger. That places a lot of risk on Sombra players if the enemy team is on the ball with smashing your translocator beacon to pieces, so learning the best places in each map to throw it is essential to mastering her. Sombra’s fragility combined with her low range and self-isolating playstyle means that she requires a lot of teamwork to be effective, lest you unstealth to find five sets of guns turned on you without an ally in sight.

Always consider the state of the game before you commit to a strategy. Sometimes taking out the enemy from behind isn’t the right move. You’ll need to learn when to hang back to help and peel enemy flankers, or slip past chokepoints and start capturing the point to force the enemy team to come and stop you, giving your own team the opportunity to push.

Sombra is very team reliant, so it’s always worth considering whether she synergises with the group when playing competitively. Her EMP deals a hefty world of pain to everyone caught in it, but due to the percentage based damage it can’t land a killing blow. To capitalize on a successful EMP, heroes with strong AoE can take advantage of the disarray and help mop up the last of the enemy’s health for a nice team kill.

Heroes that have strong dive potential work especially well with Sombra since they can get into the enemy back line and help Sombra mop up. Heroes like Genji are so mobile that they’ll often be able to keep the entire enemy team on their toes whilst Sombra makes the most of the panic.

Be careful when playing with less mobile teams, especially if your tank is fairly slow. Tanks that can jump right into a fight quickly like D.Va and Winston work particularly well with Sombra since they can easily capitalize on the confusion that she causes behind enemy lines.

Sombra Skins in Overwatch 2

Sombra has 23 skins in Overwatch 2, detailed in the table below.

Skin	Rarity	Details
Overwatch 1	Common	Her default look from Overwatch 1.
Overwatch 2	Common	Her new default look for Overwatch 2.
Azúcar	Legendary	1,900 Overwatch Coins or 1,000 Legacy Credits
Los Muertos	Legendary	1,900 Overwatch Coins or 1,000 Legacy Credits
Augmented	Legendary	1,900 Overwatch Coins or 1,000 Legacy Credits
Cyberspace	Legendary	1,900 Overwatch Coins or 1,000 Legacy Credits
Tulum	Legendary	1,900 Overwatch Coins
Bride	Legendary	1,900 Overwatch Coins
Rime	Legendary	Sometimes available in the shop.*
Face Changer	Legendary	Sometimes available in the shop.*
Talon	Legendary	Sometimes available in the shop.*
Black Cat	Legendary	Sometimes available in the shop.*
Neon Cat	Legendary	Sometimes available in the shop.*
Jester	Epic	Part of the Overwatch 2 Founder’s Pack (free to Overwatch 1 owners)
Glitch	Epic	1,000 Overwatch Coins or 250 Legacy Credits
Virus	Epic	1,000 Overwatch Coins or 250 Legacy Credits
Mexicana	Epic	1,000 Overwatch Coins
Peppermint	Epic	Sometimes available in the shop.*
Oro	Epic	Sometimes available in the shop.*
Cidro	Rare	300 Overwatch Coins or 75 Legacy Credits
Incendio	Rare	300 Overwatch Coins or 75 Legacy Credits
Mar	Rare	300 Overwatch Coins or 75 Legacy Credits
Noche	Rare	300 Overwatch Coins or 75 Legacy Credits

*These skins aren’t currently available to be purchased so the prices are unknown as of yet.

Overwatch 2: How Competitive Works & What’s Different

Posted on October 7, 2022 by Daniel Solomon

If you’re coming to Overwatch 2 and want folks to know exactly how good you are – whether or not you’re actually any good – you’re gonna have to dive into competitive mode, which is back again. But this time, it’s different.

Aside from the obvious shift from 6v6 to 5v5, here we cover how to unlock the competitive play, whether the Overwatch 2 competitive mode has crossplay, what has changed between games, and more.

How To Unlock Overwatch 2 Competitive Mode

While returning players who had unlocked the mode in the original game will have access to competitive play immediately, newcomers will first have to work their way through the “First Time User Experience.” This is the curated, and honestly kinda overly-long introduction to the game, and how you’ll unlock everything beyond the handful of available heroes – game modes included.

The short answer here though is that you need to win, not just play, 50 quick play matches before you’re allowed into Overwatch 2’s competitive mode. Of course, as is often the way with free-to-play games, you can just spend your way around this hurdle by buying the Watchpoint Pack.

Does Overwatch 2 Competitive Have Crossplay?

The answer here is, sort of. While Overwatch 2 is fully crossplay between PC and consoles on all other modes, there are two groupings for players in competitive mode: one for PC players, and one for console players.

That is to say, if you are on PS5, and you wanted to play competitive mode with your pal who is on Xbox, that would work. However, your PC master race buddy is gonna have to make new friends. And it’s about time they did so – what are the odds you’ll fancy a round of CS:GO any time soon?

What Competitive Modes are There in Overwatch 2?

Much like the unranked multiplayer, Overwatch 2 has a ranked Role Queue mode and a ranked Open Queue mode at launch.

You get one overall rank for playing the competitive Open Queue mode, and teams are free to pick any wild combinations of heroes that they fancy. The Role Queue however forces teams to adhere to the structure of one tank, two support, and two damage heroes – you make your choice before queuing for a match, and will receive a rank for each role.

What’s Changed For Overwatch 2 Competitive Mode?

Skill Rating is now Skill Tiers

SR has been replaced entirely by seven skill tiers, ranging from Bronze to Grand Master – the latter being, of course, the most precious of metals known to man. Each tier consists of five divisions, designated numerically, with 5 being the lowest, and 1 the highest. Perfect sense.

A demonstration of how this works in practice is that if you’re ranked Platinum 1 and go up a division, you’re now Master 5. These will only update across the season whenever you achieve either seven wins or 20 losses, whichever happens first. The first time you hit this skill tier criteria also serves as your placement matches.

Skill tiers and divisions also aren’t displayed when entering a competitive match. Instead, players can show off their titles and name cards.

KDR, FR

The scoreboard has been overhauled too – medals have been removed entirely, and you can now see your team’s stats at a glance. This includes eliminations, assists, deaths and damage output. Finally!

How Do Groups Work in Ranked Modes?

Groups in ranked matches have a few restrictions around who they let in now. Players who are ranked between Bronze and Diamond can group up with up to four other players, providing they’re within two skill tiers of their current rank. Master players are also unlimited on group size, but teammates have to be within one skill tier.

Grandmasters, however, can only group with a single other player, and they have to be within three skill divisions as them. And Top 500 players can pair with a single other Top 500 player. That one mate who’s much, much better, and doesn’t have a job? Say goodbye to playing with them in ranked.

Game Reports

Blizzard have also added game reports, which offer a deep dive into how you’ve been playing. They let you recap all the matches you’ve played this session, and give stats on your performance, match information, heroes, and what game modes you’ve been performing like that in.

Where’s My Rewards?

Your loot has seen some changes too. The seasonal commemorative icons and sprays earned as competitive rewards are gone, and in their place are unique titles for your name card. These are earned for progressing through skill tiers, and can only be used in the subsequent season.

There’s also now a cap on how many competitive points you can earn at the end of a season, determined by your highest skill tier across both Role and Open Queues. You’ll earn 15 points for a win, 5 for a draw, and need 3,000 of ‘em to unlock a golden weapon.

Man Repeatedly Commenting ‘Show Spider-Man’ Under Sony Livestream Revealed to Be J. Jonah Jameson

Posted on October 7, 2022 by Simon Bower

NEW YORK — A series of angry comments on the latest Sony State of Play demanding that they “show Spider-Man already” have reportedly been traced to Daily Bugle editor-in-chief J. Jonah Jameson.

“Come on, just give us some new Spider-Man footage!” said a comment from user BugleBoy1963, later revealed to be Jameson. The account reportedly posted hundreds of similar comments into the chat, such as, “Nobody cares about Tekken or Yakuza, we just want to see what that wall-crawling menace is up to!” and, “Ugh so sick of this God of War footage. Thor really isn’t the Avenger I’m here for.”

When reached for comment, Jameson expressed frustration with Sony’s coverage of the vigilante web-slinger.

“A few years ago, these livestreams always had some new pictures of that no-good superzero,” Jameson recalled. “I don’t know what changed since then, but they should really let us know before the stream if there’s not going to be anything Spider-Man related. That way I don’t have to waste my valuable time watching the whole damn thing!”

“Stellar Blade does look pretty cool though,” he later conceded.

While many in the livestream chat shouted down Jameson’s demands, other users were more supportive.

“BugleBoy kind of has a point,” a user by the name of InsomniacFan33 told us. “A lot of people are really excited for more Spider-Man, and it’s frustrating when you watch stream after stream hoping to see that only to get radio silence. I don’t necessarily agree that we ‘should unmask that webhead and expose him for the fraud he is,’ but some screenshots would be nice.”

At press time, Jameson was reportedly negotiating payment for exclusive Spider-Man leaks after being messaged by Peter Parker masquerading as a Sony insider.

Let’s Go: Kid Hogging Walmart Switch Demo Just Got Dragged Away by Mom

Posted on October 7, 2022 by Camden Brazile

Huge news just unfolded before our very eyes that could forever alter the trajectory of both the gaming world and our weekly grocery run to Walmart. During our routine ambling through the electronics section, we spotted the Switch Demo, which after having the tutorial for Mario Odyssey for the last five years, had finally been updated to Splatoon 3, a game we were considering buying.

This news was bittersweet, however, as a surly eleven year old had parked his fat ass at the console for at least fifteen full minutes, and even though we wandered away to the Lego aisle for a bit and came back later, he was still there stumbling over the game’s menu screen and not fully appreciating the motion control technology.

In this darkest hour, finally a beacon of light shone through, when the child’s mom called out for him from the next aisle over, reigning justice with a thunderous ‘Tyler! We’re leaving!’ Tyler held his ground as best he could, but when our savior threatened to leave Walmart without him, the helpless child realized he held no dominion in the situation and quickly acquiesced to the righteous woman’s whims.

Finally, the time is ours to explore every facet of the Splatoon 3 campaign’s intro mission at our own pace and leisure. While only a small victory on the surface, the larger, symbolic victory is shared with gamers everywhere.

As we handle the sticky, greasy Joy-Cons and peer through the dirt-flecked plexiglass protecting the screen, a tear rolls down our face reflecting on the tyranny of the Tyler era, until a satisfied grin creeps across our face the realization dawns on us that never again will we have to kowtow to his selfless demands, and not even the soft hum of Walmart’s fluorescent lights nor the panicked PA announcement about the enormous fire that has begun to engulf the entire department store can ruin this triumphant moment.

Photo via Twitter.

Nintendo Announces Next Console Will Come With 300 Acres of Arable Land to Farm

Posted on October 7, 2022 by Jon Ruggiero

REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo announced today that its next console will come prepackaged with a property deed good for 300 acres of farmland.

“If the last Direct wasn’t clear enough, Nintendo has finally heard what fans want: more ways to water fields and raise animals,” explained Doug Bowser, president and land baron of Nintendo of America. “From motion controls to controllers with screens on them to consoles that have a handle so that you can use them as a weapon, every console that Nintendo has released has pushed forward the technology once thought possible in gaming. That’s why we’re excited for what we are predicting is the next forefront of gaming: manual labor.”

The console, codenamed Project Dirt, has not been seen in public and no release date was given, but fans immediately jumped at the opportunity to praise the news.

“I love StarDew valley and Ring Fit Adventure, so this seems like a perfect match of the two,” said user WannabeAsh. “Hopefully at the end, I’ll end up with some real crops that I can sell back to Nintendo for in-game currency. All I want is a few skins I can wear on my avatar, which I guess is my real body. What I’m saying is I want some shirts.”

Other commenters, however, were less positive about the announcement.

“This is a slight against the hardworking and hard-playing fans that made Nintendo what it is today,” said SquidMeDaddy. “These guys are saying that it’s not good enough that we go out and touch grass, now we need to grow our own? FOR SHAME NINTENDO, BOYCOTT PROJECT DIRT”

As of press time Bowser issued a press release denying that he got the idea for a real farming game console from Yard Work Simulator, a visual gag from an episode of The Simpsons.

Overwatch 2: How to Play Junker Queen (Abilities, Skins, & More)

Posted on October 6, 2022 by Michael Katz

Junker Queen is the first new Tank added to Blizzard’s partially-new game, Overwatch 2. In the lore, she fought hard to become the ruler of Junkertown, a Mad Max styled grunge pit from a post-apocalypse that only affected Australia for some reason. Her playstyle is appropriately brutal, similar to a Barbarian or Warrior from other Blizzard games. She hits hard at close range with added bleed damage, and can support her team by yelling. Here’s how to use Junker Queen to crush the weak.

Overwatch 2 Junker Queen Abilities

Junker Queen wants to kill, and nearly all her moves revolve around this. For a tank, she has very little team defense ability.

Adrenaline Rush (Passive): Several of Junker Queen’s abilities cause the “Wound” effect. In any other game this would be called a bleed effect, but maybe Blizzard doesn’t want blood spraying out of their characters to increase the ESRB rating. Or maybe they just want it to stay consistent when used on robots. Wound does damage over time, and this passive causes each active Wound to heal Junker Queen for each point of damage dealt! This is her main survivability mechanic, and different types of Wounds can stack on a single target.

Scattergun (Primary Fire): Junker Queen’s default attack is a big ‘ol shotgun. Its spread isn’t as wide as Reaper’s shotgun, so it works well at medium range as well as close up. In exchange, it only has 6 shots and a lengthy reload time. A direct hit with all the shotgun pellets (easy enough with its narrow spread) does 80 damage.

Jagged Blade (Secondary Fire): Junker Queen flings a knife forward in an arc. This can travel farther than her shotgun attack, but takes more aim and better timing. Anyone who gets hit takes 80 damage, same as the shotgun, but also receives a Wound, causing 15 damage over a few seconds. She’ll heal those 15 points thanks to Adrenaline Rush, but it’s a teeny tiny heal, so this move is better used for damage and setup than self-sustain.

The knife has an additional magnetic property. It sticks wherever it lands, and after a few seconds, it returns to Junker Queen. Right-clicking returns the knife right away, but recalling it early doesn’t affect its 5-second cooldown. The recalled knife applies Wound to enemies it passes through on the way back. It’s possible to throw the knife behind a chokepoint, then call it back to Wound several targets at once. That’s crap for damage, but the Wound heals stack if you need a little boost.

Also, if the knife is stuck in an enemy from a direct hit, pulling it back drags the enemy towards you. It’s only a short pull, like a miniature version of Roadhog’s chain, but it can bring an enemy into shotgun range. Knife > Pull > Shotgun does about 175 damage total, enough to bring most non-tanks near death. A truly skilled Junker Queen can let the pull trigger automatically, dragging the enemy into a prepared Carnage attack!

Junker Queen even uses the knife in her regular melee attacks. If the knife isn’t deployed, her strike will apply the 15 point Wound on top of the normal 30 melee damage. It’s not much, but it might make the difference in a close fight.

Commanding Shout (Ability): This is Junker Queen’s team defense skill. First of all, it gives her an extra 200 health (for five seconds) on top of her normal 425. It also gives all her allies within 15 meters an extra 50 health (for three seconds). Lastly, it buffs Junker Queen’s move speed by 30%, along with any of her allies in range (for five seconds). This is the first area move speed buff since Lucio at Overwatch’s initial release! The extra health is the most important part, but the buff is pretty light for her allies.

Carnage (Ability): Junker Queen’s best attack. A big cleave with her axe, hitting everybody within 5 meters in front of her for 90 damage AND a Wound worth 40 points. That’s 40 points of healing per target! Junker Queen’s gameplan should revolve around getting huge Carnage hits, then finishing off the survivors. Carnage followed by a shotgun blast deals a total of 210 damage, which will kill most non-tanks outright. Its weaknesses are its range, its 8 second cooldown, and its windup: it takes a full second after pressing the button to swing the axe. Proper spacing and timing is essential to get big cleave damage.

Rampage (Ultimate): A magnetic whirlwind of weapons, launching Junker Queen forward and hitting all enemies she passes. The initial hit does no damage, but it applies the biggest Wound of all: 100 damage over five seconds, all of which comes back as healing for the Queen. This Wound also includes a bonus effect: victims can’t heal! Using this Ultimate on an enemy team reliant on heals can completely shut them down, especially if your teammates follow up. But if they don’t, you’re in a bit of trouble: this move can send Junker Queen way out of position. And don’t forget, since there’s no contact damage, it won’t do a thing to enemy shields.

Tips for Junker Queen

Junker Queen is an unusual tank for Overwatch. Rather than using shields or armor, she relies on life-stealing effects from her various Wounds. Her direct team support is limited to a five-second movement buff, and a three-second team health boost of 50 points. In her current form, this makes her hard to use effectively. She relies on hitting multiple enemies with a Carnage cleave, but if the enemies back up a little bit and she misses, she gets no healing and is now standing in front of multiple enemies with guns.

Her strength is her high damage output. Several combinations of her abilities can kill low-health classes in an instant. Striking with Carnage from behind can devastate a whole enemy team grouped around an objective. This puts her in an odd position, however, since that’s typically the job of a flanking DPS hero, not the frontline tank.

Timing her Commanding Shout, the other main piece of her moveset, is critical in making the most of her abilities. Shout first, and you can outrun the enemy to keep them from evading Carnage. Shout mid-fight, and you can use the temporary health boost while healing from Wound damage that would be wasted if your health was full.

Her weakness is her range. If she can’t hit the enemy with Carnage, she can’t do decent damage OR heal herself. Her greatest enemy is anyone with a gun on a ledge above her – and many, many characters are capable of this. That’s not even counting heroes with flight, like Pharah or Echo! She may be able to pull enemies off ledges using a well-timed knife throw, but that’s no guarantee. In short, Junker Queen is great at brawls on a control point, but terrible at advances through rough terrain. Consider the current stage carefully.

Since she has little natural armor, Junker Queen will be much more effective with a dedicated healer looking out for her. A good team setup for Junker Queen could be a mobile group that sticks together. Teaming with Lucio makes a lot of sense: if the whole team stays near the two of you, you’ll all be a lot stronger and faster thanks to his area heals and your Commanding Shout. It’s probably a good idea to have at least one DPS who can fight well at range, too.

In the Overwatch 2 beta, Junker Queen dominated the tank meta for a long time. Much of this was based on her Commanding Shout, which was originally twice as potent on allies with a greater duration. At launch, however, it seems Blizzard may have overcorrected. Our analysis of current Overwatch heroes suggests that Junker Queen isn’t the most reliable tank at the moment. In a game this new, of course, balance changes come quickly, so keep an eye on the patch notes: if the pendulum swings back, Junker Queen may reclaim her throne.

Overwatch 2 Junker Queen Skins

junker queen beast hunter — The Beast Hunter skin.

These are Junker Queen’s available skins:

Legendary: Circuit Breaker, Wastelander
Epic: Punker Queen, Beast Hunter
Rare: Actinium, Plutonium, Radium, Uranium

The Beast Hunter skin is not purchasable, instead being unlocked at level 40 of the premium battle pass for this season. The Actinium skin is purchasable, but includes this information: “Available through a regional promotion. Available in Hero Gallery starting November.” What does that mean? We’ll find out… together. Basically, don’t buy it yet.

Overwatch 2: How to Play Sojourn (Abilities, Skins, & More)

Posted on October 6, 2022 by Daniel Solomon

Sojourn, or Vivian Chase to her friends (should that be the other way around?) is one of Overwatch 2’s three new heroes available at launch. If you can get into the game to play as her, anyway.

This Canadian former special forces captain offers a suite of abilities to be effective in the mid-range as a damage hero, with the added bonus of a dash and jump to get in or out of pretty much anywhere at pace. Her pared-back and reasonably straightforward moveset make her a viable choice for newcomers to Overwatch who are familiar with FPS games more generally.

Sojourn has been referenced in Overwatch lore pretty much from the off, making her first appearance in Ana’s animated origin story. She also served alongside Soldier: 76 during the Omnic War before joining Overwatch, and oversaw the Storm Rising mission, which was included as a lore event in 2019.

And now that Sojourn has made her long-overdue appearance in the game, we go over how her abilities work, her skins, and how to play as her effectively.

Sojourn’s Abilities

Railgun (Primary Fire): This nifty bit of kit blasts out 14 projectiles per second at 9 damage each. It’s absurdly accurate, quick to reload its 45-capacity mag, and each projectile that hits either an enemy or their barrier generates energy for your secondary fire, which encourages aggressive play.

Railgun (Secondary Fire): While it can be used from the first hit of primary fire that you land, you can store up to 100 units of energy to hit the top end of the 30-130 damage range. The shot’s area of effect also scales up with the amount of energy stored to a maximum of 0.1 metres, so accuracy is vital here.

Power Slide (Ability): The dance move of choice for all young lads at their school disco. Cover ground at pace, keep firing, and cancel out into a huge jump – there’s some real mobility here. On a six second cooldown.

Disruptor Shot (Ability): Chuck out a little AOE snare vortex, slowing down and sapping at enemies health for 210 damage over four seconds over an effective area of five metres. Follow this up with some Railgun fire and really let ‘em have it. Has a thrown range of 30 metres, and a 15 second cooldown.

Role: Damage (Passive): Like all the other damage heroes, Sojourn benefits from a quick burst of heightened reload and movement skill after eliminating a hero, helping to keep you in the fight a little longer.

Overclock (Ultimate): Be your best self – for nine seconds, anyway. Overclock fully refills your energy every 1.2 seconds, which lets you keep peeling off secondary shots. Which, by the way, pierce through enemies while your Ultimate is active.

Overwatch 2 Sojourn Skins

Sojourn has eight skins in Overwatch 2 at launch. You can see their names, rarity, and cost or unlock conditions below.

Name	Information
Borealis	Rare skin 300 Overwatch Coins
Prairie	Rare skin 300 Overwatch Coins
Tundra	Rare skin 300 Overwatch Coins
Woodland	Rare skin 300 Overwatch Coins
Runner	Epic skin 1000 Overwatch Coins
Captain Chase	Legendary skin 1900 Overwatch Coins
Commando	Legendary skin Battle pass tier 30
Troop Commander	Legendary skin 1900 Overwatch Coins

Overwatch 2 Sojourn Tips

Move! You can cover some serious distance with the Power Slide and its jump cancel, and can use this both to traverse the maps and to escape sticky situations. The jump cancel itself gets you seriously high – like, woah, man – and so you can position yourself above the fight for some verticality, or just fall screaming into the enemy team letting off your Disruptor Shot and blasting away. And to that point:

Aim! Sojourn’s Railgun relies a lot on accuracy – this is not a hero for a spray and pray approach to DPS. This is particularly felt when you miss a fully charged secondary fire, which is easily done if you’re not on the ball.

Fire! As detailed above, the Railgun’s secondary fire is charged by hitting opposing heroes, or their shields. The amount of energy stored is visible as number under the crosshair, between 0 and 100. The catch here, however, is that this energy starts to decay after six seconds, so you’ve got to use it or lose it. Enemy tank heroes are a good way to get some charge back in your secondary too, as the more of your bullets they soak up, the closer they’ll be getting you to your next secondary fire.

The Alt-Fire Ult: You can get seven secondary fire shots out over the nine second span of Overclock if you’re really on it, as it takes just over a second for the Ultimate to give you a full charge. But that’s not to say just keep on firing just anywhere – a second is a long time if you’re in the thick of it waiting for a recharge. Keep firing with your primary if in doubt, but take those shots and make it count.

Use the Disruptor Shot strategically: While it may not have the biggest range or damage output, it’s an incredibly versatile tool. The slowdown effect on your enemies, particularly if you manage to snare a group of them, makes lining up those all-important headshots easier, and your team can take advantage of the opponent’s immobility too. Another sound tactic is to throw it at your feet if another player is coming in close, and pair this with the Power Slide to put some distance between you while getting some shots in. One thing to bear in mind however is that the Disruptor Shot has no weight to it at all, and will activate at the end of its 30 metre range (or if it hits something first) having travelled in a straight line from where you threw it. This too can be used to your advantage – for example, hindering a sniper.