Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty First Boss Guide: How to Beat it

Posted on by Noah Hunter

If you’re playing through Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty, chances are you might be running into some trouble with Zhang Liang, who is the first boss of the game. For those who aren’t experienced with action titles like Nioh, Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin, or Dark Souls, fights like these can be challenging and tricky to master. The first boss of Wo Long has even proven to be challenging for experienced players.

Learning how this boss operates and performs is critical to ensuring you are able to complete Wo Long. Bosses like these frequently appear, and you must understand how to obtain victory by analyzing each moveset. We’ll dive into some tips and tricks for this boss, so read on for the perfect strategy against Zhang Liang!

How to Defeat the First Boss in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty

By preparing accordingly before fighting, you can make this fight much less stressful. Zhang Liang appears at the end of the first mission, so throughout the entirety of the mission you need to increase your Morale Rank. To do this, simply collect all of the Battle Flags and Marker Flags throughout Village of Calamity (the first mission).

This will increase your Fortitude Rank to Rank 10, which will allow you to retain a Morale Rank of 10 regardless if you die or not. This is extremely helpful and essential, as you will most likely not beat Zhang Liang on your first attempt.

Lastly, as an overall note, you need to be aggressive throughout this fight. Failing to do so will lead to you being unable to achieve victory. You might tend to want to play defensively, but don’t do this, as you will take too much damage and ultimately die. Being aggressive is the key to success.

The First and Second Phases

For the first phase of the fight, you should not run into any trouble. Like outlined above, be aggressive throughout this fight and don’t fall back to defend. If you’ve played prior Souls games, you will tend to want to play the defensive in a fight like this. Instead, utilize your light attacks to unleash plenty of damage against the first boss in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty.

It is important to note that while you should be aggressive, do not mash and spam attacks. You must be diligent and purposefully place each one, however, this does not mean falling back to be defensive. Zhang Liang can be easily defeated by simply timing your attacks right and being aggressive.

The second phase of this boss fight sees Zhang Liang gain a new attack range, which can be tricky after learning his range from the first portion of the fight. Here, you will need to prioritize defending. Each attack Zhang Liang inflicts is preceded by a lengthy combat animation, which you need to carefully watch. When the animation begins, prepare to defend and deflect the attack. As you defend yourself, quickly utilize light attacks to drain his health bar.

Once your Divine Beast Gauge has finished and is filled up, you need to activate it to end the battle. Zhang Liang will be defeated in a cutscene, which means you do not have to fully drain his health bar. When the Divine Beast Gauge is full, the fight is over when you activate it!

Looking for how to increase your Morale Rank? Check out our Morale Rank Guide here!

“This Is Almost Lynchian,” Remarks Man Looking at Photo of David Lynch

Posted on by Camden Brazile

TORONTO — Local cinephile Eric Fellows reportedly remarked that his situation had become almost Lynchian after looking at a photo of infamous actor and director David Lynch

“My God, this is, dare I say, almost Lynchian,” Fellows said, viewing a .JPEG of David Lynch on Wikipedia. “It’s so surreal, I can’t tell where the lines of reality begin to blur and the strange and the mundane have begun to seamlessly mix. This photo really reminds me of David Lynch, if you know who that is. Just on first glance, this photo clearly draws inspiration from things like Eraserhead or Twin Peaks, and it’s commitment to mystery and menace pays homage to Lynch’s early work. This picture is so open to interpretation, so vague and unpredictable, yet visually arresting. While I wasn’t sure I liked it at first, after revisiting this picture four or five times I can tell now it is a masterpiece.”

Fellows’ friends have apparently begun to tire of him comparing everything to the iconic director.

“Everything is Lynchian to him,” roommate Michaela Gryan said. “I can see his face change when he’s about to use the word, he thinks it’s so intelligent. I don’t know or care who David Lynch is, but I’m fairly certain that when our microwave broke it wasn’t ‘a Mulholland Drive pastiche.’ Ironically, after I’ve come to learn a bit more about what Lynchian means, the only thing that’s actually like a David Lynch movie is me living with him, which is a bizarre twisting of normal reality until I feel like I’m going insane.”

At press time, Fellows had reportedly taken to social media to recommend a book by Franz Kafka, which Fellows described as being ‘frighteningly Kafkaesque.’

Pedro Pascal Researched Role of Hungry Survivor Under Immense Pressure By Working at Naughty Dog

Posted on by Camden Brazile

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Off the meteoric success of HBO’s television adaptation of The Last of Us, Pedro Pascal revealed he researched his role of the hungry survivor under immense pressure by working at Naughty Dog.

“Role research is important to me, and the only way I could understand the crushing, inhuman conditions Joel is under was to work at the studio that made The Last of Us,” Pascal explained. “After shadowing a Naughty Dog developer for only a week, I completely understood how someone’s humanity can be eroded away from having to go through indescribable trials and tribulations on a daily basis. While there is no zombie apocalypse happening, spending time observing the scrappy, depleted souls of Naughty Dog employees taught me everything I needed to know about Joel.”

The Last of Us creator Neil Druckmann says he admired Pascal’s incredible commitment to the role.

“Pedro has shown that he’s clearly willing to go the extra mile,” Druckmann said. “I’ve seen actors starve themselves, take drugs, or gain immense weight for a role, but to spend even one normal work day in the Naughty Dog offices is a death-defying stunt I’ve never seen an actor undergo before. When he approached me about entering the Naughty Dog offices, I was worried for his health and safety, but when emerged, he was Joel. In such a short time he learned volumes about loss and trauma, and when he is on set you can see the mysterious horror of his time at Naughty Dog in his vacant glances. I don’t think he’ll ever be the same.”

At press time, sources reported that while many developers are not able to escape the confines of the Naughty Dog offices, Pascal was luckily able to get fired by filing a sexual harassment complaint.

Toy Story 5 to Teach Children Powerful Lesson About Diluting a Franchise for Profits

Posted on by Camden Brazile

LOS ANGELES — With a brand new announcement of sequels, movie studio Pixar has confirmed the release of Toy Story 5, with the new installment to teach children a powerful lesson about diluting a franchise for profit.

“After doing a read-through of the script with the whole cast, I think Woody, Buzz and the gang will definitely teach all kids out there something profound about ruining a beloved movie series for money,” Tom Hanks explained. “I believe it’s important for children’s films to impart some sort of moral by the end, and Toy Story 5 will show kids everywhere that sometimes it’s best to let a franchise die with the third installment. Once I recorded my final lines for Woody, I cried like a baby in the studio. Not because it was a sad scene or I was done with the character, just because I knew that this would never be the end, and I’ll be voicing this digital cowboy until my body finally flatlines in the ICU.”

Disney CEO Bob Iger said the decision to greenlight the film came from a need to resolve the Toy Story saga’s overarching profits.

“Even though Toy Story 4 felt like a natural wrapping up point, we realized that so many dollars were going unearned,” Iger said. “We want to provide an emotional, cathartic resolution to the franchise’s domestic gross points, but don’t worry, even though it’s a sequel it will still capture the magic of the original’s box office performance. Kids everywhere deserve to see Woody and Buzz one last time, as well as purchase Woody and Buzz merchandise eleven more times.”

At press time, sources at Pixar revealed that they are willing to cancel the film entirely if everyone just gives them $11.95 right now instead.

If You’ve Ever Seen a Deer Doing Deer Stuff and Thought “I’d Be Great at That,” You Should Try Tokyo Jungle

Posted on by Jacob VanGundy

There are a plethora of games that let you explore neighborhoods in Tokyo. Persona 5 lets you explore Shibuya in between Jungian psycho-fantasy. In Yakuza, you can fist-fight your way up and down a fictionalized version of Kabukicho. Even Digimon Cyber Sleuth allows you to feel smugly superior to those basic Pokemon fans in a recreation of Akihabara. But only one game lets you explore a post-human version of the metropolis as a giraffe: Tokyo Jungle. 

The magic of Tokyo Jungle is that it lets you inhabit a wide range of animals and live a gamified version of their life cycle. It’s a game designed specifically for people who get personally invested while watching nature documentaries. If the novelty of an arcade action game starring exclusive animals doesn’t appeal to you on a personal level, it probably isn’t the game for you.

There are two game modes in Tokyo Jungle: Story mode and survival mode. Both are different flavors of absurd. In story mode, you will run through a few missions as specific animals with overlapping stories. These missions range from a genuinely heartbreaking story about a pair of deer fawns looking for their mother to leading a revolt against a yakuza-style gang of dogs. It even veers into sci-fi in later chapters, as the extinction of humanity is explored. 

It’s this simpler, narrative-free survival mode that really shines. The goal is simply to survive long enough to reproduce, playing as many possible generations as you can. There’s a simple joy that comes from being a cow trying desperately not to be eaten by a city full of lions and bears, or conversely from being a cheetah stalking a gazelle. The game’s simple combat adds to the feeling of animalistic fun, feeling satisfying but easy to learn. Most importantly it lets you play as any of the game’s wide variety of animals from jackals to elephants, each feeling distinct. 

Over a decade after its release, Tokyo Jungle still feels singular in allowing the player to feel like they’re living a nature documentary. It’s the only game to understand the primal appeal of all gamers: to live the life of a deer. 

I would recommend Tokyo Jungle to anyone who:

  • Gets personally invested in nature documentaries
  • Thinks they missed their calling by not being born a zebra
  • Wants more quirky games

I would not recommend this game to anyone who:

  • Can’t handle seeing animals die in games
  • Needs complicated combat 

Tokyo Jungle is available on PS3 and PS5 via PS Plus Premium

Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty Dodge & Deflect Guide: How to Deflect

Posted on by Samam Hasan

Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty is an intense game that can pose a serious challenge to players if they are not careful and understanding of the game’s mechanics. One of the aspects they have to get used to is dodging and deflecting over the course of the game. These are pivotal in fights against enemies, especially bosses, and need to be mastered to even have a chance of winning. So, with that in mind, here’s how you can dodge and deflect in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty.

Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty- How to Dodge & Deflect

The default dodge button is O, B, and F on the PlayStation controller, Xbox controller, and PC keyboard respectively. You can use them to perform a normal dodge, which will make you move away from the enemy. Adding directional buttons will also perform a proper dodge.

Another key aspect of combat in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty is deflecting. You can perform a deflect when an enemy is about to land a strike on you by pressing the dodge button. This will redirect the enemy’s attack on themselves, and also increase your Spirit Gauge. It will shrink the opponent’s Spirit Gauge as well.

How to Counter a Critical Blow in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty

When an enemy is about to perform a Critical Blow, which is an unblockable attack, perfectly doing a Deflect will also help you in performing a strong counterattack. This will make them lose a lot of health and in turn, help you win. Countering Critical Blows seriously shrinks a boss’ Spirit Gauge. If it shrinks to a certain amount, the boss will be stunned for a short while and you will have the opportunity to land a Fatal Strike that will take a huge chunk of their health. 

If you fail to deflect a Critical Blow you will lose a lot of health and your Morale Rank will decrease by 1. This makes it much harder to fight the enemies later on. So, learning to deflect is crucial in coming out on top.

Curious about Wo Long‘s unique mechanics? Check out our Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty Morale Rank guide!

Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty Morale Rank Guide: How to Increase

Posted on by Samam Hasan

Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty has a lot of unique and innovative features that make it an amazing game. One of these is the Morale system in the game, which has great importance in the combat and overall exploration of the game’s world. Players might be wondering about what the morale system is and how it works. So, here’s  everything you need to know about Morale in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty as well as how to increase the Morale Rank.

What is Morale Rank in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty?

Morale Rank is essentially a trait that determines how powerful you are in the areas of the game. It is calculated by Morale points. The higher the Morale Rank, the more powerful you will become. Not only you, but the enemies also have a Morale Rank. Every level in the game resets your Morale Rank to zero and you will have to increase it. At max, a player’s Morale Rank can go up to 25.

Enemies that have higher Morale Ranks than you will be much tougher and deal a lot of damage. But, if you manage to defeat the higher morale enemies, you will be rewarded with a lot of Morale points as well as a higher chance of getting rare items. But, if you die, you will lose your Morale points and the enemy who killed you will get their Morale Rank increased by 1. Getting hit by a Critical Blow will also decrease your Morale Rank by 1. But, if you manage to defeat that enemy who defeated you, you can regain all of that lost Morale. 

How to increase Morale Rank in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty

How to increase morale rank in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty.

Morale Rank can be increased in Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty in a lot of ways. The easiest way is to defeat enemies and gain Morale points. This is generally the quickest way to grind a lot of Morale points and in turn, increase your Morale Rank.

However, defeating them with Martial Arts attacks and Spirit Attacks will reward you with even more Morale points than usual.  Countering Critical Blows and performing Fatal Strikes will also reward players with Morale. When you have enough Morale points, your Morale Rank will automatically increase by 1.

Another way of increasing your Morale Rank is planting Battle Flags and Marking Flags, each of which will increase your Morale Rank by 1. Planting Battle Flags and Marking Flags also increases the Fortitude Rank. As with Morale Rank, Fortitude Rank starts at zero with every new area. But, your Morale Rank can never be lower than your Fortitude Rank. For example, if your Fortitude Rank is 5 in an area, the lowest your Morale Rank can go is 5, it can never go lower than that. So, in short, the Fortitude Rank is the lowest Morale Rank you can have.

Russian Roulette: Tips, Tricks, and Cheat Codes

Posted on by Brad Waters

Okay, you made some rough choices somewhere down the road and now you’re here, forced to play a game of Russian Roulette for the amusement of your captors. But fear not! Because today we have some tips and tricks for victory that’ll blow your mind. But not literally, of course. That would go against the point of this article.

#1 — Learn to imitate the sound of a clicking gun

Anyone can learn to voice act and most who do are self-taught. Think of all the video games you’ve played in your life. Remember all the times you’ve gone to fire your gun, not realizing it was empty and been met with naught with an underwhelming click? That’s the sound you need to imitate when you raise the gun to your head and pull the trigger just enough so that it looks like the gun should fire, but not enough so that it actually does. Combine that with a convincing enough click sound, and those bastards should be none the wiser!

#2 — Aim the gun at your earhole so the bullet just comes out the other ear

Maybe, despite all the time you have to practice in your crudely-built little bamboo cage, you just can’t get that clicking sound right. Not to worry, we have you covered. Not literally, of course. I’m not taking a fucking bullet for you, but here’s what you should do: when it’s your turn, always be sure to line the barrel of the gun right up with your earhole so that — should the worst case scenario occur and a bullet does come out, it simply sails through your earhole and comes out the other. 

Contrary to popular belief, the ear canal is actually a very primitive thing; practically a straight line! And so if you can line up the shot right, the bullet will just go through one side and come out the other, no mess. The onlookers may be upset that you survive on a technicality, but that’s their fault for not knowing the strats! The line-up isn’t easy, but this is one of the most surefire ways to survive. If they don’t like it, they can just kill you themselves or whatever.

#3 — Spin the gun so fast that it confuses your captors and gives you a chance to escape

A pretty daring one here, because if you mess this up, you might just further antagonize the baying crowd, but should you pull this off successfully, it’s also by far the most badass option. Your goal here is to build up some serious power in whichever wrist you plan on spinning the gun with, so maybe even do some wrist stretches in your cage beforehand.

Then, spin that baby with all the strength you can muster! You’ll know you’ve done this right if you see the eyes of all the enemy soldiers go all swirly like in Rocky and Bullwinkle or Looney Tunes and they start walking around on spaghetti legs. This is your chance to escape, and for some extra cool points, maybe take the gun and blast some of the bad guys on your way out! 

Just remember, don’t look at the gun yourself once you’ve spun it — otherwise you’ll fall into your own trap and only delay the inevitable as both you and the enemy army spend moments recovering from the intense dizziness before just having to go back to playing the game.

#4 — Politely ask if someone else wants to play

Far from our most consistent trick, but also a pretty low-risk one, as the worst outcome you can reasonably expect is being told to get back in your chair and getting poked with a bayonet.

You might be surprised, but this kind of reverse psychology sometimes works! Often war criminals are people who come from harsh, sad backgrounds. Often they weren’t treated with much respect themselves growing up, so who knows? This sudden expression of manners and goodwill may very well open up their hearts to some kindness. 

Maybe they’re so touched by this shocking nicety that they let you go, or even decide that watching has been so much fun, they do want to get in on the action themselves! It might sound far fetched but trust us — we’ve got your back. Again, not literally. You are on your own. 

#5 — Shit yourself

We really didn’t want to have to suggest this, but if all else fails, this really is your last resort. If you can’t apply any of our other tips and are in dire straits — there’s every chance that defecating in your pants could produce a smell so foul that it clears the room entirely.

Even if that doesn’t happen, it makes it unlikely anyone wants to go near your cadaver should you lose the game of Russian Roulette. More likely, your captors — if you can understand them — will demand you go and wash yourself off, at which point you have another chance to escape, whether through a bathroom window or a sewage pipe. It’s not sanitary, but it is pretty potent, much like the smell you’re hoping to create.

And there it is! 5 tips and tricks to survive the average game of Russian Roulette. We wish you the best of luck out there and don’t forget to check out our guides like Strategies for When You’re Trapped in an Actual Gulag and So You’re Doing a James Bond Thing: How to Get to the Sex Part.

Elon Musk Unveils Neuralink Project to Implant 2013 Meme Directly Into Primate’s Brain

Posted on by Camden Brazile

FREMONT, Calif. — Announcing a staggering leap forward in neurotechnology, Neuralink founder Elon Musk unveiled a new project attempting to implant a meme from 2013 directly into a primate’s brain.

“With every passing day, Neuralink is slowly becoming a reality, and by 2025 we will possess the capability to send a hilarious picture from 4chan directly into a chimp’s brain,” Musk said in a press conference. “This is unprecedented. Before, we would have to merely show rhesus monkey’s pictures of Doge Photoshopped onto a Twinkie or Rage Comics in tangible form, but analog memes are becoming a relic of the past.”

Neuralink CEO Jared Birchall said that the new project came at the behest of the company’s founder.

“Neuralink was remarkably close to creating a prototype with incredible applications like stimulating motor skills to cure certain disabilities in the brain or allowing hands-free technology usage, but Elon burst through the doors with a stack of printed-off 9GAG images and demanded we stop whatever we were doing,” Birchall said. “Now I spend my days combing through his personal collections of Troll Faces and XKCD comics trying to figure out which won’t instantaneously fry a patient’s cerebral cortex.”

Musk also went on to elaborate on the usefulness of the project’s limitless capabilities.

“Right now, people have to log onto Twitter to see all my amazing, original creations, but soon I will be able to beam them directly into everyone’s mind,” Musk said. “While the Twitter algorithm is already slanted to show you every single one of my passing thoughts, people are missing out on things like Pepe the Frog epicly trolling the woke left and my opinion on the Democrats over a picture of Dwight Schrute. Well, rest assured that millions in funding are being spent on making sure nobody misses one of my Reddit frontpage finds again.”

At press time, sources reported that Musk claimed the technology had unfortunately not advanced enough for him to also include credit to the meme creator in the neural transmission

Destiny 2: Lightfall Liming Harbor Region Chest Guide

Posted on by Eddie De Santiago

Lightfall, the latest expansion to Destiny 2, has arrived and with it comes a new location to explore, the city of Neomuna on Neptune. As with other destinations, there are a series of chests scattered throughout Neomuna known as region chests. They can contain handy gear and glimmer that can help in the early hours of the expansion. Additionally, you’ll need to open three of them for the quest ‘From Zero…’, and all nine regional chests are required for the follow up quest, ‘…To Hero’, so be sure to seek them out as soon as you can. There are three regions in Neomuna with chests in them, so if you need help finding the chests in Liming Harbor, this guide can help.

Liming Harbor Regional Chests: Chest 1

The first chest we’ll direct you toward in Liming Harbor will be in the southwest corner. Head to the location in the image below to get started.

From here, you’ll notice some platforms above or around you. For this guide we’ll be focused on the ones above you.

You may not be able to jump up there on your own, so if you need some extra height I recommend using the Strand Grapple to slingshot your way up. Once you’ve made it up to the platform, you’ll see the chest ahead of you on the next platform.

Hop over and open it up, then head back to stable ground for the next chest.

Second Chest in Liming Harbor

The next chest is located inside the large building on the south side of Liming Harbor. Enter one of the large doors and head to the location on the map above.

From here you can see a platform placed above some large pipes, jump up to it and turn around.

This next platform is smaller, but definitely large enough to comfortably land, so jump to this next platform, and turn around again.

From here, the next pipe platform above you contains the chest, so jump up and open it.

On to the last chest!

Liming Harbor: Regional Chest 3

The last Liming Harbor region chest is also very simple to get to, once you know where to look. 

There is a pair of large spinning fans, and your chest lies behind them. They’re not difficult to pass through, but you’ll have to time your jump carefully so you don’t get knocked back, so we’re going to take a different approach.

Walk through the fan blades and face the platform above you.

Back up as much as you can, and you’ll be able to jump up without much trouble to get the last chest in Liming Harbor.

That’s all the chests in Liming Harbor! If you need help finding the regional chests in Zephyr Concourse or region chests of Ahimsa Park, we’ve got you covered.