Tchia Crab Costume Guide: Where to Get the Crab Costume

Posted on by Billy Givens

Collecting all of the cosmetics in Tchia is quite an undertaking, as there are quite a lot of them scattered around the multiple islands you’ll explore throughout the game. However, you’ll be rewarded with both trophies and incredibly cute costumes for your hero. If you’re after Tchia‘s Crab Costume and its corresponding trophy “Snip Snip”, however, you can score it fairly early in the game by visiting a specific place. We’ll tell you where to find it below.

How to Get the Crab Costume in Tchia

The location of the crab costume in Tchia.

The Crab Costume can be purchased in a small encampment called Tingeting located in the southeastern section of the island Ija Noj. You’ll visit this island near the beginning of the game, so you won’t have to wait terrible long to get the costume. When you arrive at Tingeting, you can find the suit for sale next to the building here in the same area as the claw machine. Buying it will run you 10x Clam Pearls and 15x Braided Trinkets.

Of course, simply buying the Crab Costume won’t score you the “Snip Snip” trophy, if that’s what you’re after. To get the trophy, you’ll need to rest at any campfire and then equip the full costume, which includes the suit, hat, and backpack. Once you’ve got everything equipped, the “Snip Snip” trophy should pop. But more importantly, you’ll look like an adorable crab!

Looking to get other cosmetics in Tchia? Check out our guide on how to use Tchia‘s claw machine!

Tchia Claw Machine Guide: How to Use Claw Machine

Posted on by Billy Givens

Tchia has a wide selection of cosmetics to find while exploring its jungles, beaches, and open oceans. Many of these are found in chests or by purchasing them using collectibles you’ve discovered around the islands, but there are also two claw machines in the game, each offering five golden prize balls that contain unique clothing items. We’ll tell you how to use the claw machine below.

How to Use the Claw Machine in Tchia

When you approach a claw machine, you’ll notice that it won’t work right away. Instead, you’ll need to open your backpack and select a trophy to drop in the slot on the right, which will earn you three tries at collecting prizes. It doesn’t matter what type of trophy you drop in the slot (bronze, silver, or gold), as they all grant you the same three opportunities. 

If you don’t have any trophies to operate Tchia‘s claw machine, you can earn them by completing any of the various challenges found on the islands, such as races and shooting galleries. Additionally, the standard prize balls inside the claw machine will reward you with one trophy, which you can then reinsert for more chances at those coveted golden prize balls. 

As for tips on how to actually grab those golden prize balls, there’s not much to offer. Your best bet is to work on lining the claw up directly over the center of the ball you want to grab, but due to the awkward angle of the camera during this minigame, that’s easier said than done. Like real life claw machines, this can be frustrating, as it’s just as much about luck as it is about skill. Keep at it, though!

That’s all you need to know about using the claw machine in Tchia! Enjoy fishing for those new outfits. If you want another cool outfit, check out our guide on where to get the crab costume.

Resource Management Game Villager Just Got to Town and Is Ready to Fuck

Posted on by Jon Ruggiero

THE VILLAGE — A new person named Villager 2 has arrived to town with crafting knowledge and a desire to fuck someone, according go to those familiar with the situation.

“Here’s the deal, I’ve only existed for a short time, but I know everything I need to know about cutting wood, fishing, and making more of me,” Villager 2 said. “So when I came into town, I knew exactly what I wanted and how to get it: I approach another person, take them into a poorly-constructed house, and if we’re lucky we get a few sound effects before the both of us abruptly leave the house minutes later with a new baby. You know, fucking.”

The town’s original resident, Farmer, had been picking carrots from a garden outside their home when Villager 2 arrived. 

“I had been doing the same repetitive action for the past 75 hours,” explained Farmer while continuing to pick carrots, “and that’s when I saw them. They said something so romantic I’ll remember it forever: ‘you have the most beautiful legs, arms, and a head I’ve ever seen, because that’s basically all you have.’ Then I was swept off my feet; we went into my house for a few hours, and eventually a baby came. I was confused during the entire fucking process but now I’m as happy as a villager can be.”

Though one town resident is happy, the other has reservations. 

“I don’t know the first thing about raising no kid; I’ve barely been in this village a day, and who knows where I was before that,” said Villager 2, who changed their name to Logger after beginning to chop logs. “All we can hope is that the little one grows up soon so it can help its parents around the house. I mean that’s why we’re put here, to get more food and wood ready to make more food and wood, and fuck. So by that measure, having more people to make stuff just makes sense. I just hope I can tell us all apart because I’d hate to fuck my offspring by mistake.”

As of press time, Villager 3 had grown to a full adult, and began arguing with their parents after being named Miner because they wanted to be named Musician.

“It’s Easier to Learn as You Play,” Says Man Who Forgot Rules of Board Game

Posted on by Kyle Duggan

SIMSBURY, Conn. — A local man was seen bluffing his way through an explanation of a new board game’s rules by saying that it was easier to figure out by just trying it, sources close to the situation confirmed. 

“So when it’s your turn, you have three — you have, like, four options,” explained Steve Daly, who was trying to inconspicuously look up a quick-play guide on his phone. “But you won’t really get it unless you just dive right in. It’s just, like, hard to explain unless you’re actually doing it. Honestly, I learned it by watching a YouTube video. Maybe we should do that? Watch one quick playthrough before we get started?”

Some of the potential players, including game night regular Jake McKenna, questioned Daly’s understanding of the game’s core mechanics.

“When he showed up with that huge box and said he had something different for us to try, I knew where this was headed,” said McKenna, who shared that the group hasn’t actually completed a single game in months. “It took him three tries to get the name right. The Eleven Major Transit Hubs of Western-Central Europe is a mouthful, but if you can’t even remember that, how are you gonna remember every detail of the 47-page rulebook? I knew we should have just played Catan.”

Wilhelm Günther, creator of the game, argues that the mechanics are actually intuitive and easy to learn.

“I see so many comments on the internet saying that my game is difficult, or that there are too many rules,” said Günther, who has received several awards for board game design. “This is not true. If you take a moment to think about the game, all of the rules revolve around just a few fundamental concepts. So, for instance, if another player challenges your stake in a railroad, you have four choices, or maybe five. Yes, five choices. You can, um, consolidate? Or maybe it’s — I think it’s going to be easier to show you. Grab a seat; this will only take a few hours.”

At press time, several sources present at the game night confirmed that Daly had remembered an important mechanic halfway through the game and told the group they should really start over.

Like Cards With Pretty Drawings But Hate Reading & Math? Try Inscryption!

Posted on by Walker MacDonald

There’s a certain tactile magic to trading card games. The beautiful illustrations, the flavor text, the color palettes. It’s a potent mix, especially when almost all of them are adapted from or paired with a larger IP like Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh. These are the elements that draw us in, and after some investment, it’s the gameplay, collecting, and community that make us stay.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but nothing has ever sounded more fucking lame to me than the latter. Cool drawings of monsters? Hell yeah, sign me up. Having to meet and hang out with antisocial strangers? Learning a bunch of contrived, constantly changing rules? Staying ahead of some deck obsoletion curve? Doing fucking mental math? Not in a million years.

This has always been my dilemma. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved collecting all types of these cards. But every crack I take at actually using them as intended, I almost immediately lose interest. Even with digital versions that forgo the chunks of laminated cardboard, it feels as though there’s even less incentive with the physical collecting aspect now subtracted.

Then I found Inscryption.

When the initial buzz first became apparent in early 2021, I was quick to disregard it as another run-of-the-mill deckbuilder. It wasn’t until I’d seen actual gameplay that everything started to click. This is a game made exactly for people like me. It takes the essential components that make up the average TCG, and boils them down to their most simplistic, core functions. Is this number higher than the other number? Great, then it beats the other number. Rarely is it ever more complex than that.

It also makes the entire chase of deck building almost null save for some new game plus challenges towards the end. Being a roguelike, you hit the ground running with whatever hand you’re dealt, collecting loose additional cards as you go. You’re not forced to do hours of homework and ponder over what sets to choose from, you’re thrown to the wolves. Here’s what you got, figure it out. Repeated runs are crucial to learning the ropes of this process, but it’s so fluid and genuinely fun you never consciously clock it. The way it should be!

The description thus far may sound to some like all of the immersion and nuance present in typical TCGs has been sapped entirely, leaving you with a smoothed over, bumper-bowling version of the usual fare. This couldn’t be further from the truth, as the narrative is truly what binds it all together. It’s not the conceit you’re almost always asked of with these things, to buy into the fantasy lore that exists within the hokey, intangible world of the cards. Rather you, yourself, are directly at the center of it all as an unwilling participant, kidnapped by some fucked up freak in the woods, forced to play rounds of this macabre card game against your captor in some remote cabin. Think Misery if Kathy Bates spent the whole movie forcing James Caan to get super into Magic with her.

The cards themselves are also an aesthetic all their own that are perfectly in tune with the rest of the game. You’re not gonna be dealing with Grokgnarr the Destroyer or some other pulp fantasy horseshit, it’s like – squirrels and bugs. Stuff that you can actually find outside. As the meta escalates, you’ll encounter things like birds, bears, and wolves, all stylized in this vaguely gothic manner that serves to complement the rest of the game. Something about being held captive in a cabin, forced to play with drawings of rats? Just plain works.

As if the premise of this alone wasn’t enough to carry a decent 10 hours or more, the story delves further and further into new, bizarre territory that simply cannot be anticipated. The fourth wall is smashed to pieces, rebuilt, and smashed again. It’s a marvel. I’d be remiss, however, to allot this praise without also noting that this often ambitious, occasionally genre-bending experimentation does not come without missteps and growing pains. Stark transitions in story and gameplay can be jarring to some, and a hard stomp on the brakes of momentum to others. For me, that change of pace flung my ass clean outta the windshield and onto the pavement. So keep in mind a proverbial seat belt and open mind is imperative for getting the most out of your experience.

In conclusion, if you’re sick of beating your head against the wall when it comes to the world of funny little rectangles with words and drawings, look no further than Inscryption. By the umpteenth hour of charging headlong into a new run, things will be so quietly and efficiently cemented in your mind that you’ll forget you ever had to learn it. It just comes to you. A far cry from the seemingly endless research and rulebook scrubbing of other contemporary card games.

Inscryption might be for you if:

  • You want all the pleasures of the TCG experience without any nerd-ass academia
  • You’re into roguelikes
  • Harbor a deep-seeded sadism for small rodents

It might not be for you if:

  • You get off on doing homework
  • Are expecting linear, traditional narrative & gameplay
  • Do not harbor a deep-seeded sadism for small rodents

You can get Inscryption on PC, PlayStation 4 & 5, or Nintendo Switch.

Want To Try Impressing Your Dad Even Though He’ll Never Be Happy? Try Katamari Damacy

Posted on by Rob Steinberg

Do you have a father you respect even though you’ve never made him smile? Despite everything you’ve done in your life is to impress this man, it’s never worked? Video game creator Keita Takahashi has perfectly gamified this experience into his lovable creation, Katamari Damacy. 

In the game Katamari Damacy, you have a father who is the King of All Cosmos. Not unlike how your dad means the universe to you. The King of All Cosmos is an aloof drunk who destroys everything and expects you to fix things back the way they were. You must collect objects to impress him, not unlike trying to figure out the perfect gift for your dads birthday. With the objects you literally birth worlds, just like how your art does that metaphorically. The King of All Cosmos will look at your planet like your dad looking at your art and asking why you aren’t working for Disney yet.

When you want to impress your dad, nothing else matters. You will find yourself so focused with this drive that you won’t care about all the people you crush on the way to his approval. Sure, they’ll scream, but you won’t care. You’ll destroy the whole world if you have to. All that matters is showing your dad all you’ve accomplished just for him to go “Huh, looks like you’re done. Maybe go bigger next time?”

In the end, he might, MIGHT, show gratitude, but in a way where he doesn’t even bother to smile so you wonder if it’s sarcastic. Usually the most excitement you will get out of him is if he sees a dog. Much like how your dad mostly speaks in a series of grunts, The King of All Cosmos will speak to you in a series of record scratch noises.

Lets face it, impressing your dad is a Sisyphean struggle that is not good for your mental health. Its time to replace pushing that boulder with pushing a Katamari ball. Much like how it is safer to fight bad guys in video games as opposed to real life, the same goes with attempting to impress your stone faced dad. If you want to have daddy issues, why not be a man who looks as if Prince got his head stuck in a kaleidoscope tube?

To quote the game itself, “Oh how this blue planet spins so very peacefully, but how the sadness. It never seems to go away.”

Katamari Damacy might be for you if…

  • Your dad has ever gifted you with a chef’s hat, a ducky, or anything else that shows he clearly doesn’t know you very well
  • You’ve ever worked really hard on something and your dad throws it out the minute there’s no room for it
  • You don’t care who gets caught in your ball of issues
  • Your dad speaks in isms nobody understands 

Katamari Damacy might not be for you if…

  • Your dad shows unconditional love
  • The occasional approval is too unrealistic
  • You have a whole set of different issues with your cousins
  • The bulge coming out of the King of All Cosmos’s yoga pants is too Freudian

Katamari Damacy REROLL, and enhanced remake, is available on Steam, Nintendo Switch, and Playstation 4. [lasso ref=”katamari-damacy-reroll-nintendo-switch” id=”23113″ link_id=”3854″]

Fans Underwhelmed by ‘Hotline Miami’ Spinoff ‘Hotline Tulsa’

Posted on by Camden Brazile

GOTHENBURG, Sweden — Following the smash success of iconic top-down shooters Hotline Miami and Hotline Miami 2, publisher Devolver Digital teased a brand new spin-off installment, taking players on a blood-splattered rampage of Tulsa, Oklahoma. 

“Miami isn’t a city for everyone, so we wanted to give a more toned-down alternative for the more sensible homicidal maniac,” said lead developer Jonatan Söderström. “Hotline Miami’s oppressive electronic soundtrack obviously didn’t fit, so we opted for a high energy folk soundtrack to reflect the more rural Oklahoma lifestyle. We even worked with the Tulsa Tourism Bureau to show off some of the city’s features, including a gory mini-boss at Tulsa’s Golden Driller statue and making the player bash in the brains of everyone in the Greenwood Historical District.”

Hotline Tulsa players seem unimpressed by the new installment in the series.

“I’m starting to see why they based the first two in a fun city,” said early-access tester Brian Cromwell. “Even the tutorial of the game takes forever, because instead of a brief, cryptic phone message from a creepy caller, your neighbor from the house half a mile down the road calls you and talks you through their day for forty minutes and asks you to water their plants when they go out of town. Sure, some cosmetics and unlockables are cheaper because the cost of living is lower, but that’s not worth having to walk two miles to find the next enemy held up in their wheat farm.”

Despite some players’ reservations about the spin-off title, others appreciated the change of pace.

“Miami is such a dense, cluttered city, it’s nice to take it easy with a controlled, more personal slaughtering of Tulsa,” said player Jack Manaheim. “In such a massive place like Miami, you never really got to know any of the mysterious masked characters, but now in this game I get to butcher familiar faces of close neighbors and mom-and-pop store owners. I like that I can slow down and mosey through the town killing everyone in my path instead of having to sprint around neon nightclubs.”

At press time, Devolver Digital had reportedly scrapped their additional spin-off Hotline: St. Louis, as the game would be too challenging due to the city’s impossibly high crime rate.

This is sponsored by Devolver Digital! All your friends have told you that you HAVE to check out Hotline Miami, but you’ve never had the time. Well guess what: it is currently less than $2 to buy on Steam right now. Go play Hotline Miami, it fuckin rocks.

Man Thinking of Playing RPG Just Not Ready for That Kind of Commitment

Posted on by Matt McInerney

RALEIGH, N.C. — Local gamer Austin Simmons reportedly considered playing a new RPG tonight before realizing he just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment, sympathetic sources confirmed.

“I’d heard a lot about this game from single friends and thought maybe tonight is finally the night. But goddamn, after minute 45 of the first cutscene, I just knew I couldn’t commit,” said Simmons. “I have one, maybe two hours to myself after the family goes to bed. How long can a guy wait before his character gets some action? At least let me camera pan! I’m not saying I’m totally giving up and downloading Candy Crush, but this just doesn’t work for me.”

According to those close to the information, Layla Simmons, his wife and self-proclaimed ‘partner-in-crime,’ fully understands.

“I couldn’t believe my ears. Austin said it was over 100 hours of gameplay. Sure, we’re married, we have pets, we share a 30-year mortgage, and we even have a couple of children, but this is next level,” she explained. “I don’t know if I get 100 hours to myself in an entire year! That feels like one game for the rest of your life. I just can’t imagine being tied down like that. People change. Are you even the same person still at hour 50?”

Phoebe Reese, a long-time marketing director for an indie video game publisher, aims to offer a different experience.

“We get it. You’re a real gamer. You’re not ready to stoop to mobile gaming. But you don’t even have time to make it through the dragon scene at the beginning of Skyrim. That’s why we make low-effort indie games that are really more about the ‘concept,'” said Reese. “No one should be shamed because they don’t want to dedicate the equivalent of a full workweek to learning some spellcasting system. We think it’s your right to fly a cute little flower petal around the screen for an hour tops and then talk about it like you grinded through a foreign arthouse film.”

At press time, Simmons finally decided to just replay Journey again, only to discover that starting it up required a 7-hour update.

Diablo 4 Beta XP Farming Guide: Best Ways To Level Up Faster

Posted on by Tarun Sayal

Diablo 4 players, it’s time to level up and unlock all three glorious rewards before the open beta concludes. With the Diablo 4 Beta now live, the fans are probably eager to obtain open beta rewards, including the Early Voyager Title and Beta Wolf Pack Cosmetic Item, which can be unlocked by reaching Level 20.

However, leveling up in Diablo 4 is daunting, especially if you’re new to the franchise. Fortunately, there are several tried and proven methods through which players can use to make their XP farming journey much smoother and level up quickly.

How to Level Up Fast in Diablo 4 – Complete Bounties

Use bounties to level up fast in the Diablo 4 Beta.

Completing the bounties is one of the most effective ways to level up quickly in Diablo 4. While the game allows you to take on four Bounties at a time, completing all eight is highly recommended to farm as much XP as possible. It’s important to note that you may encounter competition from other players when it comes to completing Bounties, but don’t let that deter you. Despite this potential drawback, accepting and completing Bounties should be a vital part of any player’s progression journey due to the massive amounts of XP they offer.

Complete Main Story Quests

If you want to gain experience points more quickly, completing the main story quests is the best way to do so. These quests reward you with plenty of experience points, which can help you level up quickly right from the beginning. The beta has a good amount of these quests to complete, which should help you get those levels you need.

How to Level Up Fast in Diablo 4 – Grind Dungeons

Grind dungeons in Diablo 4 to level up faster.

Grinding dungeons is boring in many video games, but it’s worth giving a shot because it rewards with useful items. Fortunately, dungeons are short and take only 10 to 15 minutes to complete in Diablo 4. As you progress towards the endgame of the Diablo 4 beta, leveling up becomes increasingly challenging. You will need to earn significant experience points (XP) to advance to the highest levels. 

Some people might do them alone, but that’s only possible at easier levels. If you want to get the best loot and experience points, joining a group and doing dungeons together is important. Get your friends to download the beta with you once it opens up!

Concentrate on a Leveling Build

Diablo 4 players should also work on leveling builds to fight against the enemies effectively. To do this, it’s important to find abilities that can attack a large area and be used often. You should carefully look through all the legendary items you get to find bonuses that can help you do more damage against groups of enemies. This will make it easier for you to level up.

How to Level Up Fast in Diablo 4 – Complete Elder Rifts

Elder Rifts is one of the best routes to get rewards and experience points. These special dungeons require you to complete a simple task to get lots of rewards and XP for your character. Each Elder Rift runs for only 5 minutes, so you can do it many times daily. You can finish the dungeon even faster if you team up with friends and use Crests to get even better rewards from Elder Rifts.

Slay Monsters

Killing monsters is like 99% of the game, and they give a base experience that goes up as you level up. The higher level of monsters you fight, the more XP you will get. Elites will give a bit more experience, but it’s important to note that if your character level is equal to the monster level, you will get a typical amount of experience points. 

However, if the monster level is below your character level, you will get a reduction in experience, potentially up to 100%. It’s also crucial to note that if the monsters are higher level than you, you will get more experience. This can range from 15 to 30 additional experience points, so you’ll want to hunt down those higher-level monsters.

How to Level Up Fast in Diablo 4 – Change the Difficulty Level

If you want to reach the maximum level in the Diablo 4 beta, you need to increase the difficulty level. The game has two difficulties in beta: the base difficulty and the veteran difficulty. The veteran difficulty will give you 20% more experience than the base difficulty, making it a great choice for leveling up quickly. 

In simple words, the more difficult the setting, the more experience points you’ll get for doing the same activities. But be aware that you’ll need to do a lot of repetitive and challenging events and dungeons on higher difficulties to achieve this goal.

Don’t be discouraged by the challenge; instead, embrace it as part of the Diablo gaming experience. Have fun in your pursuit of the beta’s max level!

Gotham Orphanage Suspicious as Bruce Wayne Arrives to Adopt Third Son This Month

Posted on by Camden Brazile

GOTHAM CITY — Local billionaire and Wayne Enterprises CEO Bruce Wayne reportedly aroused suspicion from the Gotham Orphanage after attempting to adopt his third new son that month.

“When Mr. Wayne came in to adopt an eleven year old boy five weeks ago, we thought it was a benevolent act of charity,” said Gotham Orphanage board member Shandra Evans. “When his son unfortunately and mysteriously was killed by Killer Croc, we thought it was even sweeter that he processed his grief by adopting another son. When that son was also somehow killed by The Joker two weeks later, we started to get a little concerned. I don’t know what he’s doing with these children, or why he lets them anywhere near the clown prince of crime, but I’m not sure we’re giving him another boy.”

Children at the orphanage are apparently aware of Wayne’s sketchy reputation with adoption.

“I know that man; boys who leave with him never come back,” said local orphan gymnast Timothy Crest. “Please do not make me go with him. I have seen my friends leave thinking they will have a happy, rich life, but weeks later they are on the news after being dipped into acid or detonated by a clown-shaped bomb. I have no clue why he keeps needing another son, but I’ll be damned if I’m his next chosen victim.”

The wealthy playboy defended his sudden need for another child.

“Listen, guys, I can’t explain why, but I just need another son,” an exhausted Wayne said in a press conference. “Batm—, I mean, I have to have a son so I can teach him everything I know to help this city when I’m gone. OK? Just give ‘em to me. If any of them are acrobats or pickpockets or something useful, they’re at the top of my list. I’m an orphan, so I understand their pain. I want to give them a perfect life, for two to three weeks until they’re tragically beaten to death by a supervillain to teach me a powerful lesson about how I can’t save everyone. Just give me the goddamn kid.”

At press time, sources reported that Barbara Gordon, young daughter of Gotham Police Commissioner Jim Gordon, had just been shot in the spine by the Joker just days after accepting a nighttime internship at Wayne Enterprises.