Diablo 4 Server Slam Open Beta Start Time & End Time Guide

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

The Diablo 4 Server Slam is right around the corner, and we have you covered with the server slam start time & end time. This is your last chance to get some quality Diablo 4 time in, before the game officially launches on the 6th of June 2023, with a stress test open beta, dubbed a ‘Server Slam’. This will be your final opportunity to get those beta test goodies before they are gone for good.

What Time Does The Diablo 4 Server Slam Beta Preload Begin?

You can now preload the Diablo 4 beta on Battle.net for PC, Xbox Store, and Playstation Store. Neither Xbox Live Gold nor Playstation Plus are required to play the beta. If you still have the files from the previous betas downloaded, you can simply download an update instead.

What Time Does The Diablo 4 Server Slam Beta Start And End?

When does the Diablo 4 Server Slam open beta start & end?

The Server Slam Beta runs for 48 hours. It begins on Friday May 12, at 12 PM PDT/ 3 PM EDT, and ends on Sunday, May 14 at the same time. Here’s a full localized time table for major regions:

Time Zone Server Slam Beta Start Time Server Slam Beta End Time
Hawaii-Aleutian Time [HST] UTC-10 Friday, May 12th 9AM Sunday, May 14th 9AM
Alaska Daylight Time [AKDT] UTC-8 Friday, May 12th 11AM Sunday, May 14th 11AM
Pacific Daylight Time [PDT] UTC-7 Friday, May 12th 12PM Sunday, May 14th 12PM
Mountain Daylight Time [MDT] UTC-6 Friday, May 12th 1PM Sunday, May 14th 1PM
Central Daylight Time [CDT] UTC-5 Friday, May 12th 2PM Sunday, May 14th 2PM
Eastern Daylight Time [EDT] UTC-4 Friday, May 12th 3PM Sunday, May 14th 3PM
Atlantic Daylight Time [ADT] UTC-3 Friday, May 12th 4PM Sunday, May 14th 4PM
Brasília Summer Time [BRT] UTC-3 Friday, May 12th 4PM Sunday, May 14th 4PM
Greenwich Mean Time [GMT] UTC+0 Friday, May 12th 7PM Sunday, May 14th 7PM
Central European Time [CET] UTC+2 Friday, May 12th 9PM Sunday, May 14th 9PM
Eastern European Time [EET] UTC+2 Friday, May 12th 9PM Sunday, May 14th 9PM
Moscow Standard Time [MSK] UTC+3 Friday, May 12th 10PM Sunday, May 14th 10PM
Gulf Standard Time [GST] UTC+4 Friday, May 12th 11PM Sunday, May 14th 11PM
Indian Standard Time [IST] UTC+5.5 Saturday, May 13th 12:30AM Monday, May 15th 12:30AM
China Standard Time [CST] UTC+8 Saturday, May 13th 3AM Monday, May 15th 3AM
Japan Standard Time [JST] UTC+9 Saturday, May 13th 4AM Monday, May 15th 4AM
Australian Eastern Standard Time [AEST] UTC+10 Saturday, May 13th 5AM Monday, May 15th 5AM
New Zealand Daylight Time [NZDT] UTC+12 Saturday, May 13th 7AM Monday, May 15th 7AM

What Is In The Server Slam Beta For Diablo 4?

  • All five classes–Barbarian, Druid, Necromancer, Rogue, or Sorcerer–will be able to explore Diablo 4’s Prologue and all of Act I. If you played the Early Access and Public Open Betas, all of your progress has been wiped. Server Slam Beta progression will not carry forward to the final game either, except for any rewards earned.
  • You will not be able to level past 20, but can keep playing for loot.
  • Legendary drop rate has been tweaked to more closely align with the final game’s rates.
  • Bug fixes and updates have been patched into this release.
  • All players also have one last opportunity to unlock the original rewards from the previous betas:
    • Initial Casualty Title: earned by reaching Kyovashad with one character.
    • Early Voyager Title: earned by reaching Level 20 on one character.
    • Beta Wolf Pack Cosmetic Item: earned by reaching Level 20 on one character.

If you have earned them already, you will not have to repeat the feat. All beta rewards will transfer over to the final game when it eventually releases. The Ashava World Boss Event returns in Server Slam as well, with a new reward of its own.

Diablo 4 Server Slam World Boss Guide: Ashava Spawn Times

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

Blizzard is whetting our appetites for Diablo 4 one last time before its official launch on the 6th of June 2023, with a “Server Slam” beta, including a rematch with the world boss, Ashava. New rewards are also available for participating. This guide outlines event spawn times, and strategies to beat her every single time.

Diablo 4 Server Slam Beta – What Is A World Boss Event?

The World Boss Ashava event is an optional quest in Diablo 4 with a fixed location and window for beginning and completing, that tasks you with slaying the monstrous Ashava, the Pestilent. Attaining the Server Slam Beta’s lowered level cap of 20 first, would be ideal but not mandatory. A group of up to 12 players total, of any level can band together to take her down. Couch co-op, online co-op, and shard (session/instance/zone) randoms in the arena can all combine forces to slay her, and lay claim to the sizable loot drop.

What Time Does The Diablo 4 Server Slam World Boss Event Begin?

The World Boss Ashava Event will run nine times during the Server Slam Beta. Each spawn will last for fifteen minutes.

Consult each of the official Twitter accounts for updates in the event of any delays in Ashava spawning:

Here are the localized times for major regions:

Pacific Daylight Time [PDT] UTC-7

  • Saturday, May 13th 9AM | 12PM | 3PM | 6PM | 9PM
  • Sunday, May 14th 12AM | 3 AM | 6AM | 9AM

Mountain Daylight Time [MDT] UTC-6

  • Saturday, May 13th 10AM | 1PM | 4PM | 7PM | 10PM
  • Sunday, May 14th 1AM | 4AM | 7AM | 10AM

Central Daylight Time [CDT] UTC-5

  • Saturday, May 13th 11AM | 2PM | 5PM | 8PM | 11PM
  • Sunday, May 14th 2AM | 5AM | 8AM | 11AM

Eastern Daylight Time [EDT] UTC-4

  • Saturday, May 13th 12PM | 3PM | 6PM | 9PM
  • Sunday, May 14th 12AM | 3 AM | 6AM | 9AM | 12PM

Greenwich Mean Time [GMT] UTC+0

  • Saturday, May 13th 4PM | 7PM | 10PM
  • Sunday, May 14th 1AM | 4AM | 7AM | 10AM | 1PM | 4PM

China Standard Time [CST] UTC+8

  • Sunday, May 14th 12AM | 3 AM | 6AM | 9AM | 12PM | 3PM | 6PM | 9PM
  • Monday, May 15th 12AM

Japan Standard Time [JST] UTC+9

  • Sunday, May 14th 1AM | 4AM | 7AM | 10AM | 1PM | 4PM | 7PM | 10PM
  • Monday, May 15th 1AM

Where Is World Boss Ashava Location (Diablo 4 Server Slam)

Ashava will be located in the same place as prior encounters with her: The Crucible area in the Region of Fractured Peaks, far east of the settlement town of Kyovashad, close to the eastern shoreline of the continent. Once in-game, a map icon and countdown timer will appear 30 minutes prior to the beginning of the event. Potential rewards will also be displayed, specifically the Weekly Bonus Spoils, if applicable. Map location marked with a red hexagon in the image above.

How To Beat Ashava – Diablo 4 Server Slam

Every single attack can be evaded merely by staying behind and between her hind legs as much as possible. For melee fighters, this is the Plow Back’s only safezone. Even the Sweep attack’s damage is confined to the middle and outer edges of the circle. When she leaps away, close the gap as quickly as you can. Be mindful of her rapidly stepping back into you and immediately pounding the ground, i.e. the Ground Pound, which happens on occasion. For more details on how to beat the world boss, check out our Ashava guide from the previous beta for more info.

Are There New Rewards For Beating Ashava?

Yes, there are! Once Ashava is downed, specifically with a Level 20 character, players will earn the Cry of Ashava Mount Trophy, which is the horn pictured above. All beta rewards will transfer over to the final game when it eventually releases.

Is There Co-Op In The Diablo 4 Server Slam World Boss Event?

Yes, as many as 12 players can challenge Ashava in The Crucible concurrently. Once both friends and strangers are assembled at the spawn location, and the timer hits zero, the battle begins. Soloing is not recommended, and does not appear to even be possible given the open world, drop in drop out design of Diablo 4 that forces players into shared shards. Leveraging and exploiting a Strict NAT might be possible, but there have not been any glitched solo lobby reports so far.

Ashava’s power scales to the number of players in the arena, regardless of their individual level. This also means that under-leveled allies can be a burden rather than a blessing, buffing her damage output, while failing to mete out significant damage themselves.

Couch Co-op

All consoles supporting couch co-op will allow one additional player to join in onscreen. The second player will simply have to establish a link between their Battle.net account and console account, if not already existing in Blizzard’s ecosystem. After that, just hop in by invitation of player one. The interface has been designed to accommodate the interfaces of both players being on screen simultaneously, as seen above. Bonus XP is granted for not being solo: 5% while near random players, and 10% near explicit party members. Couch co-op can be combined with online co-op to increase party size to a total stack of four players.

Online Co-op

This mode allows for up to four players to party up remotely in a single shard. On top of that, region-locking is absent in Diablo 4, and crossplay between all platforms is now possible, providing the opportunity for some really diverse team-ups, across territories and hardware. Bonus XP rates are the same: 5% from non-party members and up to 10% from proximity to sworn allies.

Al Pacino Adopts 52-Year-Old Man

Posted on by Mark Roebuck

LOS ANGELES — After being inspired by 79-year-old Robert De Niro’s recent announcement that he was expecting a child, 82-year-old silver screen legend Al Pacino has reportedly adopted a middle aged man, sources have confirmed. 

“I didn’t realize I was technically still up for adoption,” said Glenn Brockman, the oldest of Pacino’s four children at 52 years old. “Growing up in an orphanage was hard, and it was pretty brutal when no one adopted me, but I did okay afterwards despite my setbacks. I have a wife and kid and manage a Valvoline oil change place out here in Columbus. You can imagine my surprise when I found out that Al Pacino is gonna be my dad from now on. I’m so excited, and can’t wait to make up for lost time.” 

“Hoo-ah!” he added. 

Pacino reportedly pursued the adoption aggressively after being inspired by De Niro’s recent surprise announcement.

“To still be growing your family at that age, I thought it was remarkable,” said Pacino. “But I didn’t want to go through diapers and bed wetting and college again, so I thought we’d just skip ahead a little bit. This kid is great! He’s very well adjusted, and he can hook me up with an oil change anywhere in the Midwest.” 

“Hoo-ah!” he added. 

Two met for the first time recently, after Pacino sent a chartered jet to bring Brockman to his Los Angeles home. 

“Things were definitely emotional, definitely strange,” said Cynthia Walker, Pacino’s personal assistant, about the first time meeting between father and son. “Al was bouncing between telling Glenn how proud of him he was to the two of them bullshitting about old baseball teams from the ’80s. There was an awkward part where Al sat Glenn down and explained that all of his grandparents were dead. Glenn took it in stride, though. Al’s right, he really is a great kid.” 

As of press time, a visiting Robert De Niro was overheard asking Pacino what the hell was wrong with his baby. 

GQ Names Mario Best Dressed Video Game Character of All Time

Posted on by Mark Roebuck

NEW YORK CITY — GQ magazine recently released a list of the 100 best dressed video game characters of all time, with iconic Nintendo star Mario taking the top spot. 

“No surprise here, really,” said Lisa Harlan, a fashion reporter that was asked to participate in the list. “It was fun to see some surprises in there, like Dig Dug and Zangief, but I don’t think there was ever any doubt who was number one. The overalls, the hat, I mean, come on. No one has ever mixed style and substance quite like Mario. He even pulls off the clown gloves!” 

Many accused the list of having a pro-Nintendo bias. 

“I understand that Mario was a highly influential character,” said Ed Laskey, a local gamer that was critical of the pick. “But get serious. Best dressed of all time? If this was an objectively fair list you would just pick James Bond or something. But since this is inherently favored towards Nintendo, like all these lists seem to be, you have people like Diddy Kong that are barely dressed up in the top ten. It’s absurd!” 

“They only gave Mario those overalls so the 8-bit sprite wouldn’t look like shit, you know,” he added. 

As of press time, Luigi was reportedly inconsolable upon receiving word that GQ had named him the worst dressed video game character of all time.

GTA Online Lucky Wheel Podium Vehicle Guide: Week of May 11

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

Want to win the new Lucky Wheel Podium vehicle for the week of May 11? Trying to win the Lucky Wheel Podium vehicle in GTA Online but all you got was that free t-shirt? There is a surefire way to get the Podium Car first try, every single time. The method in this GTA V Online guide needs a controller, but only for the spin the wheel part, so PC players can always just plug one in and then set it aside once done. But first, which car is up for grabs this week?

Lucky Wheel Podium Vehicle Of The Week For May 11

Podium vehicle in GTA Online for May 11

The Vapid GB200, a two-door sports car, that normally retails for $940K at Legendary Motorsport. It has a sale value of $564,000 (60%).

How To Win The Lucky Wheel In GTA Online

GTA Online can be a very finicky game when it comes to maintaining a stable, lag-free connection to Rockstar servers. So before we get down to details, make note of the following:

  • Always start in a fresh Private Session. It ensures that you are the session host and maintains a crisp, clean connection without interference from lagswitchers and other game exploiters.
  • A fresh Private Session also ensures that the Lucky Wheel will be in its default starting position, having not been tampered with by other players. As seen in the image above, the piece of clothing must be in the 12 o’clock position, with the Podium Vehicle one segment away in roughly the 11 o’clock position.
  • Set your spawn location to ‘Last Location’, so that you can spawn close to the Lucky Casino in the event that…
  • …you mess up and the spin goes wrong. Do not panic, practice makes perfect. Simply force close the game through the respective menu systems of each console, or Alt + F4 on PC, before the game has the opportunity to save to Rockstar servers. Saving is usually indicated by a spinning orange circle in the bottom right corner. Relaunch the game, and your free daily spin will have been refunded.
  • If you have a lot of garages, or even just one, ensure that there is one empty slot left in the topmost garage listed in the garage selection menu. This is because when (not if) you win the Podium Car, you will have the briefest amount of time to garage it, before it just up and disappears. And the game will not let you attempt to win it again that week either. You do not want to spend that time shuffling between garages, trying to figure out which one has an empty berth.

And now down to brass tacks:

  1. Walk up to the wheel and wait for the prompt “Use <Left Analog Stick> to Spin” to appear. Pictured above.
  2. Count to one.
  3. Move the <Left Analog Stick> to the left, or the 9 o’clock position.
  4. Start counting to four once you hit the rim of the stick’s well.
  5. Move the <Left Analog Stick> to the bottom, or the 6 o’clock position, along the rim of the stick’s well. You should be at that final position on the count of four.
  6. Release the <Left Analog Stick> to return to its dead zone neutral position. Do not push. Do not flick. Simply let go.
  7. If you have failed, you will have a clear indication by observing the wheel and more than enough time to force quit the app, preventing the game from saving, well before the wheel comes to a full halt.
  8. If you have succeeded, garage the Podium Vehicle immediately, or lose it and any further opportunity for the entire week.

And there you have it, an easy method to bag a nice car every single week for a $500 buy-in at the Diamond Casino reception desk. If you want more Grand Theft Auto Online tips and tricks, check out how you can get yourself a massive 50-berth garage to house all these babies you will be winning.

Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Release Time Guide

Posted on by Noah Hunter

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is set to release this Friday, May 12, but some players may want a more exact release time. This title is releasing just over six years after Breath of the Wild’s release, which coincided with the launch of the Nintendo Switch.  Here’s exactly when you can play Tears of the Kingdom and explore the changed world of Hyrule for yourself.

What Time Does Tears of the Kingdom Release?

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom will be released at midnight in eastern time on May 12, 2023. The following times correspond with each region of the US for when the game will be available.

  • 12:00 AM EDT
  • 11:00 PM CDT
  • 9:00 PM PDT

For all other countries, your digital copy of Tears of the Kingdom will unlock at midnight in your region’s time zone.

There are ways to get your hands on the game early, which will require you to head over to a different region’s eShop. You can do this by creating an account in either the New Zealand or Japan region, as those regions will give you the most extra playing time in the United States.

Can You Preload Tears of the Kingdom?

Yes, you can indeed preload the game now. While you won’t be able to access it until it unlocks in your region, Tears of the Kingdom can be ready to go with no additional download once the clock strikes midnight in your region.

This is extremely handy as you won’t need to wait for the download to commence when the game is officially out, but rather only connect to the internet to check if the game can be played.

How Big is Tears of the Kingdom?

You can expect to see Tears of the Kingdom preload with a total of just over 16GB. For standard Switch or Switch Lite owners without a MicroSD card, this could pose a significant issue if your storage is already filled.

That’s all you need to know about the Tears of the Kingdom release time! Enjoy exploring Hyrule with this fresh new take.

Pokemon GO Espeon Evolution Guide: How to Evolve Espeon

Posted on by Parker Johnson

One of the most unusual mechanics in Pokemon GO is how to evolve Eevee into its various evolutions, like Espeon. In the original, core games, players can evolve their Eevee into this psychic-type evolution by leveling it up during the day with high friendship. With the unique mechanics in the mobile game, though, this evolution works a little different. Here’s how to evolve Eevee into Espeon in Pokemon GO.

How to Use the Buddy System to Evolve Eevee Into Espeon

With Espeon’s evolution method in the original games revolving around high friendship with its trainer, it makes sense for Eevee to evolve into Espeon using the buddy system in Pokemon GO. However, the requirement is a little different than some other buddy evolutions.

To evolve Eevee into Espeon, you need to walk 10 kilometers with Eevee as your buddy. After this, initiate the evolution during the day to get your Eevee to become Espeon. If you do this same process, but evolve at night, your Eevee will instead evolve into Umbreon.

Pokemon GO: Espeon Evolution Nickname

Like all of the other Eeveelutions, you can also evolve Eevee into Espeon by evolving it with a certain nickname. In the case of Espeon, rename your Eevee “Sakura” for a guaranteed evolution into Espeon, without requiring any of the previously mentioned steps. Even if you have a nickname that you already prefer for your Eevee, don’t worry! You can change or simply remove this nickname once the evolution is complete. This can be very useful to save time in the other evolution method.

However, keep in mind that this evolution can only be utilized once. This makes it useful to get Espeon for the purpose of your Pokedex, even if you don’t want to walk the 10 km or wait until morning if you’re a night player.

Top 10 Video Games of All Time: We Asked Everyone But You and Here Are the Results

Posted on by Andy Holt

Well, the day has finally come. After a massive effort to survey every single human on the planet other than you, we are excited to reveal the definitive list of the 10 greatest video games ever made, in all of history, according to everyone whose opinion matters.

1. Fortnite

Everybody got together and agreed that Fortnite is the best game. We like the fun skins you can get, and we enjoy that it’s just as good as whatever game you enjoy the most — better, in fact. That’s the final word on the subject, and it damned sure didn’t come from you.

 2. Minecraft

“I really like Minecraft. I think it’s the second-best game ever, other than Fortnite,” said the roughly 8 billion people we asked, word-for-word, so we figured there was no point in asking you. The weight of your opinion is so vanishingly small that it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

3. Roblox

You probably haven’t wrapped your head around what Roblox is, exactly, but you probably should, because it outstrips whatever game you’ve been playing instead. Unless that game is Minecraft or Fortnite, of course. Don’t tell us though, if it is. Nobody cares.

4. World of Warcraft

Among the billions of people we asked, using a complex points system that we all agreed upon, the defining MMORPG of our age came in 4th all-time. We’d explain the scoring system, but it’s probably not worth troubling your little head over. Makes no difference, in the end, does it?

5. Grand Theft Auto V

On the day it came out, Grand Theft Auto V made $800 million, breaking the record for fastest-selling entertainment product of all time. Thanks to all the remasters and Grand Theft Auto Online, the game remains as popular as ever. Everybody is having a great time playing it without you.

6. Tetris

We received a lot of fascinating takes about Tetris. Some folks talked about the importance of Tetris to gaming history, and how they can still see its influence in their favorite games today. Others dove into the fascinating story of its creation by a Soviet scientist. Still others just love playing Tetris, at home or on the go. We valued everyone’s opinions equally and took time to work through them, challenging our own thinking in the process. It was an enriching experience for everyone involved. You’ll have to take our word for it.

7. PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds

Didn’t expect to see PUBG here, did you? Of course you didn’t. Then again, you didn’t even know we were making this list of the 10 greatest video games, so it’s a moot point. Everybody else knew, and they put PUBG at 7th, so who are you to argue? Next.

8. Mario Kart 8

You might be more of a Super Smash Bros. person than a Mario Kart person, but that’s not relevant here. Everybody else is all-in on Mario Kart for this list, and specifically Mario Kart 8 and Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Sorry, we’re just reporting the facts.

9. Red Dead Redemption 2

That’s right, it’s better than the first one. Your friends, your family, strangers, even a few people who have since passed away — we got them all on record that Red Dead Redemption 2 deserves this spot. It is simply the universal consensus, and then we will say no more on the subject: RDR 2 is better than the first RDR, and therefore the ninth-best video game of all time. Other takes just don’t carry a lot of oomph, given who they would have to come from.

10. Pokémon Red / Blue

“Pokémon was a definitive game for me growing up, in a way that is specific and special to me, and that nobody else can quite relate to,” said everybody we interviewed, and indeed everyone but you. We found that thought to be really insightful — so insightful, in fact, that we’re going to publish articles written by each and every one of them separately, diving into their own experiences with Pokémon as children. The articles are going to be long and personal and in-depth — we’re going to let them go ham with it — and the praise for them from the readers will be overwhelming and endless. It’s too bad you don’t have anything to share, too!

So, that’s all ten. There may be a game or two that you feel should have been included in the list instead, like Skyrim or one of the Souls games. Maybe you have a pedantic answer like Pong. If so, feel free to sound off in the comments! Just remember that nobody asked.

Producers Looking to Cast 100,000 Roles for Upcoming Vampire Survivors Animated Show

Posted on by Mark Roebuck

LOS ANGELES — Production studio Story Kitchen has begun work on the recently announced Vampire Survivors animated show, and are looking to fill some 100,000 roles over the next few weeks, sources have confirmed. 

“This has really proven to be quite an undertaking,” said Derek Kolstad, a cofounder of Story Kitchen. “Whereas Vampire Survivors the video game was a brilliantly simple title that was able to compete with the biggest games of the year despite being made by a single person, this show is probably going to be the most expensive thing we’ve ever made. There’s just so many roles we have to fill.” 

 “You should see the script,” he added. “There are 6,700 characters with lines in the pilot alone!” 

The small screen adaptation of the show is merely the latest measure of its rampant success. 

“This is so much more than I ever could have imagined,” said Luca Galante, also known as poncle, the lone developer of Vampire Survivors. “I was just hoping to make a fun game, and to get end of the year awards is just beyond anything I anticipated. And now that it’s being turned into a TV show with a casting call that has literally shut down most of Los Angeles for the last two days? Get outta here!” 

The densely populated audition attracted hopeful actors by the busload. 

“Oh man, this could be the next big video game show,” said local thespian Leslie Andrews, standing in line half a mile away from the office where auditions were being held. “I blew my Last of Us audition, but if I can scream convincingly here I might be able to book this one. Even though this is by far the most crowded audition I’ve ever seen, by my count there’s still more parts than there are actors here. I’m totally in.” 

As of press time, it was revealed that Hollywood celebrities would actually be voicing most of the 100,000 characters in the Vampire Survivors animated show. 

 

Telemarketer Clearly Justin Roiland

Posted on by Mark Roebuck

LOS ANGELES — The target of a local telemarketer’s recent pitch recognized the voice on the other end of the phone as disgraced Rick & Morty cocreator Justin Roiland, sources have confirmed. 

“Right away I could tell it was a familiar voice,” said Andrew Lane, on his suspicions he was talking to Roiland, who was recently dismissed  from several prominent roles and positions after allegations of abuse and improper contact with minors surfaced online. “At first I thought it was my buddy Tim fucking with me, but then I realized where I knew the voice –  it was dude from Rick & Morty! I was so sure of it. You could tell he was trying to make his voice sound different but it didn’t sound that different. I kept asking if it was him and he just kept insisting that he wanted to sell me a new insurance policy on my house. It wasn’t a very funny bit, and I don’t even own this place, so the whole thing grew annoying after a little while, to say the least.” 

“He must be working on some weird new prank call show or something,” he added. “I didn’t really get it.”

Despite the assertions of Lane’s, the solicitor insisted he wasn’t Justin Roiland. 

“No way man, no fuckin’ way,” he said. “I just uh, I want to uh, you know your house, you know the insurance, right? That fucking insurance on that house? You probably pay a fuckin’ fortune, right? Yeah, yeah, you do I bet. Let me talk to you about some insurance rates. These fuckin’ rates man, god damn. You’re gonna fuckin’ shit when you see this shit. Yeah man, this is some fucked up insurance shit alright.” 

As of press time, Lane hung up abruptly after the telemarketer said he was going to put an Asian associate of his on the phone.