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Wordle Today – Answer And Hint For #934 January 9, 2024

Posted on January 9, 2024 by Michelle Pereira

Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to losing a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today Jan 9.

We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned, then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.

Already Jan 10 at your location? Try our Wordle answer page for that day instead!

Wordle Hint Today 934 January 9, 2024

Here’s a hint with the meaning of today’s Wordle answer

A cosmetic applied around the eyes to enhance their appearance.

Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter

The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:

“R”

Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter

The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:

“E”

Wordle Hint Today Third Letter

The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:

“N”

Wordle Hint Today Second Letter

The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:

“I”

Wordle Hint Today First Letter

The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:

“L”

Today’s Wordle Answer

And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.

Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.

That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 400 days straight! So here goes nothing:

3…

2…

1…

The Wordle answer today is “LINER”

Previous Wordle Answers With Their Definitions

Wordle Today – Answer And Hint For #933 January 8, 2024

Wordle #932 For January 7, 2024

“STONY“

An adjective that describes something that is hard, firm, or has the appearance or qualities of stone.

Wordle #931 For January 6, 2024

“CABLE“

A thick insulated wire, often consisting of multiple conductors, used for transmitting electrical power or signals.

Wordle #930 For January 5, 2024

“LUNGE“

A sudden forward movement used for attack or strategic positioning.

Wordle #929 For January 4, 2024

“SCANT“

An adjective that describes something that is limited, insufficient, or barely enough in quantity, degree, or extent.

Wordle #928 For January 3, 2024

“TWIRL“

The action of rotating or spinning something around its axis or in a circular motion.

Wordle #927 For January 2, 2024

“AGING“

The process of getting older, typically associated with the passage of time.

Wordle #926 For January 1, 2024

“MURAL“

A large-scale artwork or painting that is created directly on a wall, ceiling, or other permanent surface.

Wordle #925 For December 31, 2023

“SALTY“

A taste sensation associated with the presence of salt.

Wordle #924 For December 30, 2023

“THREE“

The numerical representation of the quantity 3.

Level 1 Bard Found Dead After Entering Encounter He Was Wildly Underleveled For

Posted on January 8, 2024 by Brendan Osorio

Unsurprising news came Monday morning from Hollywood as Jo Koy, a level 1 bard was found dead after attempting to host the Golden Globes Sunday night.

The low level bard accepted the quest from CBS after several more experienced candidates refused to answer the call. One such person being tenth level bard Chris of house Rock, who declined the honor for a myriad of reasons.

“I tend to stay away from award shows now,” Rock said, dismissively, “After my encounter with that brigand William Smith, I just don’t care to put myself at risk. I’ve a reputation to uphold and being accosted like that again or having to address it further would be unbecoming of me.”

Rock is not the only one who declined the quest. William Arnet, Jason Bateman, and Sean Hayes of clan Smartless all refused to accept the challenge. Even the great duo of Fey and Poehler claimed this task was beneath them, leaving CBS without much options.

A listing for the quest was posted on a Burbank job board, offering 10 gold to anyone who would be up for the task. It seems the only one who would accept it was the far from humble initiate bard, Joseph Koy.

Koy’s performance was not received well at all Sunday night. As he stood upon the stump floundering awkwardly, he could be heard insisting the hirelings given to assist him with the quest had written all the bad jokes no one was laughing at. The beloved sorcerous Taylor the Swift appeared to cast Eyebite on the hapless bard causing him to become panicked. His performance only worsened at that point.

The Great Queen, Lady Meryl Streep, was also upset by the performance, and said the jester’s feeble attempts to flatter her were taken more as insult than as praise.

“I did not appreciate him trying to get me to do the so-called ‘Wakanda Forever’ salute,” Lady Streep said, clearly dismayed, “However, as the consummate professional I am, I could not disappoint the peasants watching at home.”

It is believed the cause of death to be the enchantment Power Word Kill, cast by the powerful Warlock, Harrison Ford. The Golden Globes clerics determined it may be possible to save the bard, but decided against wasting the spell slots.

Zuckerberg Jumps Around Quickly Building Sniper Tower on Private Island as Final Circle Closes on Him and Two Servants

Posted on January 8, 2024 by Alex Kitsinger

TILTED TOWERS — According to a leaked video recording from his Hawaiian island compound, Mark Zuckerberg recently quick-built a tower in order to get a better angle on two servants during the final circle with his suppressed sniper rifle.

“As much money as we spent on the Metaverse we just couldn’t recreate the guttural screams of a man as I take his last breath” said Zuckerberg. “When I saw all of the contractors building my island compound I started to realize maybe it’s time to get out in the real world and touch grass, ya know?”

The Facebook founder then elaborated on how he managed to obtain another victory royale, and inform the surviving family members of those who competed.

“I wasn’t sure I was going to get out of that one. One of them had a gold scar and a ton of mats. I’m lucky I had the angle on him and caught him off guard,” said Zuckerberg. “It helps my crew put some sedatives in the pre-game meal.”

At this point, an employee walked in to give a report on the state of the game.

“Sir, we’re having trouble with the pace of updates. I know you said we should keep it as identical to the real game as possible, but we’re running into a lot of unexpected issues,” said the employee, clearly visibly worried. “Epic Games doesn’t need to bag up and burn 99 bodies for every match, and they don’t need to tear down all of the builds. It’s a computer game, it just happens automatically. Do we really need to drop you out of a flying bus every time? It’s starting to get expensive.”

At press time, Zuckerberg was seen dropping out of the sky to land on top of a perfectly recreated one-to-one replica of Tilted Towers.

Report: Twitch Streamer Just One More Gift Sub Away From Falling Deeply, Madly in Love With You

Posted on January 8, 2024 by Traye Holland

INTERNET — Multiple close associates of your favorite Twitch streamer have reported that she is just one more gift sub away from falling deeply, madly in love with you. Yes, you, the reports confirm.

“You’re all she ever talks about,” said a close friend of your favorite Twitch streamer. “Before she streams, she’ll ask me if I think you’ll be watching today. The look on her face when she asks can only be described as longing. After each stream she won’t stop asking me ‘Did you see how many gift subs they sent me? Did you? Did you?’ On the odd days when you don’t watch, she spends the rest of the day moping around, wondering where you were.”

While it may seem at first your favorite Twitch streamer paid you little to no mind, sources report that with each gift sub you sent she began to pay more and more attention to you. Sources confirm this led her to feel affection and even infatuation for you, despite not knowing your name, face, age, location, values, interests, hobbies, goals, profession, passions, personality traits, pet peeves, culinary tastes, fears, anxieties, religious views, political leanings, relationship status, or anything about you at all, really.

“Please, I’m begging you, don’t send her another gift sub,” begged the Twitch streamer’s current boyfriend, who is 6 ‘4 and the most loving and loyal partner anyone could ever ask for. “If you do, I know she’ll leave me. She’ll pack up her bags and show up right outside your door. I just know she will. The last time we made love, she called out your Twitch username. I can’t take this anymore.”

Regular viewers have reported your favorite Twitch streamer’s eyes noticeably light up every time your username pops up on her screen.

“I just can’t help it! It’s so romantic,” said your favorite Twitch streamer. “There’s just something about a complete stranger on the internet sending me exorbitant amounts of money to get my attention that is not at all worrisome! It’s not creepy or sad in any way whatsoever!”

Your favorite Twitch streamer then reportedly sighed your name while looking dreamily off into the distance, hand on their chin, thankful that doing their job doesn’t attract any troubling attention from strangers online.

Jack Black Joins Cast of ‘Minecraft’ Movie as Incredibly Loud Gravel Block

Posted on January 8, 2024 by Kyle Duggan

BURBANK, Calif. — Despite early reports that Jack Black had been cast as player character Steve in the upcoming “Minecraft” movie, the actor recently confirmed that he will be taking on the role of an especially noisy block of gravel.

“The way I see it, gravel is a whole bunch of rocks,” said Black, who broke into an exaggerated falsetto at several points throughout his statement. “And there’s nothing I love more than rock. Especially when it’s really, really, really loud rock. So when I got this script and saw there was a role for a bunch of really loud rocks, I was like, ‘Steve, who? I wanna play this guy.’ I called up my agent right away and sealed the deal. Comeonahyeah-haaa!”

Fans of the blockbuster sandbox game were excited about the casting news.

“This cast is absolutely stacked! I can’t wait to see the movie,” said Joey Connor, 10. “Jack Black was so funny in the Goosebumps movies, and I still listen to ‘Peaches’ from the Mario movie every day on the ride to school. I heard Jason Momoa is gonna be the Ender Dragon. That’s right, Aquaman himself will be the final boss of the whole movie. I heard he was in ‘Game of Thrones,’ too, but my mom won’t let me watch it, which is totally unfair. My friend Terry gets to watch it and he’s only three months and two days older than me.”

The production team was reportedly thrilled to have Black on board.

“I’ve always thought gravel was the most dynamic of the substrates,” said Hess, the project’s third director. “So it was important to find the right person to play this block. If I shot ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ with anyone besides Jon Heder in the lead role, it would have flopped. I worked with Jack on ‘Nacho Libre,’ so I knew he would have the perfect energy for this character. He’s large-yet-agile, multi-faceted, and when he comes crashing down, you’re sure gonna hear about it. Plus, I have personally witnessed him dropping flint when someone hits him.”

At press time, producers announced that Matt Berry had been cast as a cacophonous block of sand, which they described as, “kind of like British gravel.”

Deep Friendship Built Through Almost Nightly Discord Calls Ends Without Notice After Guy Buys New Game

Posted on January 8, 2024 by Hard Drive Reporter

DISCORD — A multiyear friendship formed over nightly Discord chats, where two people shared more with each other than they do almost anyone else in their life, was ended abruptly without a single word after one of them purchased a new game, reports confirmed.

“Oh Jon? Yeah, I love that guy,” said Eric Berns. “We met during the PUBG days. Peak battle royale era. He’s the guy who convinced me I should propose to Christy. No clue what he’s up to, I started playing Rust and haven’t heard from him since.”

Jon Falsteen, the lost friend Berns mentioned, says the relationship is still warm on his end.

“I still consider Eric to be one of my best friends, if he’s alive,” he said.

According to Berns’ fiance Christy Hansen, Berns hadn’t mentioned that the two friends no longer talked.

“What? Eric doesn’t talk to Jon anymore?” Hansen said. “When I asked if he was going to have enough groomsmen to match my bridesmaids, Jon was the first person he listed. Oh god the whole choreography is going to be thrown off.”

Henry Finklenstin, head of design at Discord, says Jon and Eric’s relationship is far from unique.

“We consider ourselves the number one platform for helping people creating deep, emotional bonds and support systems before being cut off cold turkey without warning,” Finklenstin said. “The closest thing someone can get to a heads up is to look at big game release schedules and predict whether or not you and your friend would both enjoy the next popular game.”

At press time Berns was seen scrolling through his steam library remembering friends tied to each game and wondering if he’d ever hear from them again.

Golden Globes to Include More Ads in Effort to Appeal to Gamers

Posted on January 7, 2024 by Matt Fresh

HOLLYWOOD — The Golden Globes are reportedly set to become more watchable for gamers this year as producers plan to jam the ceremony full of more ads than ever before.

“I saw my son watching this ceremony called ‘The Game Awards’ on his laptop. I sat with him as he just absorbed and cheered on advertisement after advertisement. The next day I saw this ‘ceremony’ had 118 million viewers so I decided right there that we need to show more ads to attract the gamer audience,” explained Golden Globes executive producer Dan Klein. “We scoured hundreds of hours of Game Awards footage to determine what about it we could emulate. First, we thought we could just get a similar host but no one in Hollywood is that big of a charisma vacuum. Once we realized that over 90% of the content was advertisements it became clear to us: Show ads, and gamers will come.”

Geoff Keighley, host and producer of The Game Awards, says he isn’t threatened by the competition.

“It’s great,” Keighley said. “Almost as great as Cool Ranch Doritos, which are available in grocery stores, pharmacies, and gas stations worldwide. The creation of the Game Awards was fueled by Mountain Dew and its many delicious flavors which can fuel all your late-night gaming sessions.”

Some filmmakers were less than pleased upon hearing the ad-heavy direction the show would take.

“I think it’s pretty disrespectful to turn what’s supposed to be a night of celebration for art and artists into a marketing event,” said Greta Gerwig before being told to wrap it up.

At press time, the Golden Globes are reportedly in talks with Christopher Nolan to speak on stage for 10 minutes about his next project which he hasn’t started yet.

Opinion: I Wish There Was a New Animal Crossing and Lockdown

Posted on January 7, 2024 by Travis Madole

I’m a simple man, with simple needs. All I really feel like I need is a roof over my head, food on my table, a fun video game, and a government mandated restriction on outdoor activity.

Removed from the fear and uncertainty surrounding COVID-19, it’s hard not to look back on a time when staying inside all day playing video games was treated as a heroic self-sacrifice with a little fondness.

Do you remember? Waking up and deciding to visit your very own tropical island? Maybe you’ll have a cheeky nip of brandy before booting up the game. What’s that? It’s 11am on a Tuesday? Luckily you don’t have anything to do today, but still, that’s not a good look. Come again? That kind of behavior is broadly socially acceptable now?

That’s right, it’s lockdown. “Self care” no longer means healthy activity, it means doing whatever it takes to get you through the day, even a bit of self medicating and watching an entire series of The Great British Bake Off without moving.

The social distance is hard, though. But how socially distanced were we, really? I was surprised on my birthday by a knock on my door. It was my best penguin friend, Aurora! She was throwing me a surprise birthday party! The squirrel Marshal was there too, what a treat!

They gifted me with clothes I already owned (it’s the thought that counts), but luckily they’d be more than happy to receive those same clothes as a regift on their birthdays.

The days of seeing a weekly live concert with my anthropomorphized animal neighbors and constructing an outdoor movie theater on my idyllic island town are fond memories in retrospect.

So I call on you, President Biden: Give everyone a bunch of money so that we’re comfortable, and make it so that we don’t have to go anywhere for a few months. Outside is a nightmare, almost everything is awful all the time right now. We need this.

Nintendo, please, enough time has passed – I wanna meet my new penguin and squirrel friends all over again.

It’s time to let us get back in touch with our inner useless slob. It’s time for heroism to mean dispassionately watching Paul Hollywood shake hands with an amateur baker. It’s time for a follow up of Animal Crossing, and another lockdown.

Gamer Damned to Roll Boulder Up Hill for Eternity Claims “It Gets Really Good After the First 100 Hours”

Posted on January 7, 2024 by Ben C

Local gamer David Jackson, 32, has reportedly reassured others his eternal damnation to roll a gargantuan boulder up Mt. Vesuvius improves dramatically after the first 100 hours.

“It’s boring, it’s a grind, and you’re constantly screaming in agony for the gods to end your suffering,” said Jackson, clearly shaking with effort to move the infinitely heavy boulder. “But then, you sorta settle into a rhythm you know? You enjoy the feeling of making progress and the grind turns into something you sort of look forward to. You really start to understand and appreciate the mechanics of putting one foot in front of the other as your muscles cry out in pain.”

According to sources close to Jackson who spoke on the condition of anonymity, he has even attempted to persuade friends into joining him in his tragic fate.

“Yeah, he kept telling us to give it a shot, he even offered to buy us our own boulders? I thought that was pretty weird but hey, the whole situation is pretty strange when you think about it,” said one of Jackson’s friends. “It doesn’t look like it’s any fun though. He’s up there for eternity trying to push that boulder and it doesn’t really look like he’s making any progress. I don’t get the appeal.”

Despite his friends differing views, Jackson does not seem deterred at all from his point of view.

“It’s like, they start rolling the boulder and keep saying that ‘it’s boring’ or ‘it’s pointless’ or ‘the gods have truly abandoned you to this hellish eternity,’” said David. “But they won’t stick around to get to the good part! Trust me, even after the first dozen hours the agonizing pain and boredom begins to dull.”

At press time, Johnson was seen taking a break from the boulder to download Death Stranding.

Luigi’s Mansion Immediately Condemned After Installation of Carbon Monoxide Detectors

Posted on January 7, 2024 by Kyle Duggan

BOO WOODS — Health and safety officials have ordered the destruction of a local residence after newly-installed devices detected dangerous levels of carbon monoxide gas, woozy sources confirm.

“Frankly, this has been a long time coming,” said Puff Bolete, local building inspector. “What with all the mysterious deaths and well-documented cases of hallucinations that have taken place inside the structure, it was obvious that something was off. I had to have my guys wear rebreathers just so they’d stop passing out as they were installing the detectors. We can’t even narrow it down to a single source or location, since the sensors were getting tripped just about everywhere: the Breaker Room, the Kitchen, that creepy hall with all of the paintings. It’ll be easiest just to tear the whole thing down.”

Some disagreed with the decision to destroy the house, including its most recent occupant.

“No! I must-a get back into that-a mansion!” said Luigi, who was unable to pass the Montreal Cognitive Assessment after spending weeks inside the dangerous building. “My brother is-a in there! He was-a kidnapped by ghosts! I have to freeze-a them with my flashlight, then suck-a them up into a big-a vacuum cleaner! Then I turn-a them into a picture! You’ve got to believe-a me; I won a contest!”

One expert criticized the building inspector’s assessment, saying that he had not given enough consideration to alternative explanations.

“I don’t know what all this hullabaloo is about ‘carbon monoxide,’ said Professor Elvin Gadd. “There’s plenty of other things that could have set off those detectors. My guess is that it was spirits messing with them. Criminy, I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole health department was actually an illusion created by King Boo himself just to convince everyone that there’s no such thing as ghosts. That would explain why they used those silly rebreathers instead of doing the logical thing and sending clones made out of goo to do their dirty work.”

At press time, local authorities had approved plans to add carbon monoxide detectors to The Last Resort hotel and several buildings in Evershade Valley.