Kyle Duggan
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MIDDLE EARTH — Local hermit Gollum credited his pescetarian diet for his 500-year lifespan, nearly five times higher than that…
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Ryan Fleishman
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WESTFIELD, Ind. — Opening his throat and forcing a slew of glowing flasks down his throat, competitive eater Joey Chestnut…
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Kevin Podas
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CASTLEVANIA — In an attempt to be more health-conscious and diet-friendly, Count Dracula Vlad Ţepeş has reportedly taken it upon…
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Neel Bhakta
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COASTAL TOWN 一 Childish RPG protagonist and humanity’s last hope for peace, Tredgar Stormslayer, has expressed a general dislike for…
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Hunter R. Thompson
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LEAWOOD, Kan. — An irresponsible doctor reportedly wrote local man Dave LaRoix a prescription for a large health pack, even…
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Mark Roebuck
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ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — An increasingly health conscious gamer recently began taking a new precaution to ensure his soda would…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local gamer Scott Porter faced condemnation from teammates for drinking a Max Health potion when he only…
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Kevin Hufe
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T’ARTHAR DESERT — A team of local heroes found themselves in distress recently, after a level 26 necroscorpion murdered beloved…
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