Whether it’s stalking you through the corridors of a spaceship, chasing you down at the speed of a brisk walk, or searching every human-sized locker in hopes of stealing a secret glance, pursuer enemies in video games are as common as empty promises in an E3 trailer. Known for their dogged pursuit, nigh-invincibility, and unwillingness to simply take a hint, pursuer or “roaming” enemies exist to apply pressure on the player throughout a level and introduce tension with every far-off stomp or suspiciously timed in-game tutorial informing you what the Run button is. While these enemies come in many shapes and sizes—from small and lanky to thick and tanky—one thing unites them all: they want me bad. These freaks will not be sated until they have me in their arms, breathless and mewling like the fans on a PS5 approaching hour two of Ghost of Tsushima. With that fact in mind, here is every pursuer enemy in video games ranked by our sexual tension.
#25: Debilitas: Haunting Ground
Starting off at the bottom of the list, we have a character so unobjectifiable he threatens to kill the joke right off the bat. Haunting Ground, the 2005 cult classic that features not one but four unique stalker enemies throughout the course of gameplay, throws a wrench in the works with its first enemy Debilitas, a homunculus with the mind of a child and a name as subtle as an elephant. Despite his large physique and himbo potential, Debilitas and I have no sexual tension whatsoever on account of 1) his ambiguous sexual intentions toward the game’s protagonist Fiona, and 2) the fact that he is clearly mentally disabled in that unspecified, vaguely offensive video game way. Maybe in another life, Debilitas.
#24: EMMI: Metroid Dread
The EMMI may be sleek and suspiciously, tantalizingly flexible, but unless you’re a top engineer at Google who thinks your algorithm is in love with you, it’s going to take a lot of convincing for most people to get greasy with an AI.
#23: Sausage Dog: Animal Well
Now, is the unassuming sausage dog in Animal Well a roaming pursuer in any legitimate sense? No. Would it be an understatement to say the moment he follows you into the maze of tunnels too small for every other dog scared me more than any encounter with Mr. X? Yes. That said, for the purposes of this list, he is quite literally a dog, and I’m not about to condone that in the Hard Drive name.
#22: Lorenzo: Haunting Ground
The second pursuer enemy on this list from Haunting Ground, Lorenzo is a pervy old man in a wheelchair who straight-up crawls on the ground after Fiona during his chase sequences. If that wasn’t kinky enough for you freaks, he’s also Fiona’s grandfather who watches her change through a peephole in one cutscene, a powerful reminder that video games don’t quite do it like they did in 2005. His only redeeming quality comes late game when he cleans up nice thanks to alchemical immortality and a haircut that I can only describe as Ganon-esque. There’s something about a man groveling after you that I can’t ignore, but one-sided sexual tension isn’t “tension” any more than “Dave Chappelle” is a “comedian”.
#21: Super-Fast Invincible Anti-Piracy Scorpion: Serious Sam 3: BFE
Although you wouldn’t know it on account of the fact that the video game Serious Sam 3: BFE charges rent to live in your head for any more than five minutes, the 2011 Serious Sam prequel game isn’t horror. That said, it does have a notorious anti-piracy measure that makes it worthy of this list. If the game detects a pirated copy, it spawns in a super-fast, invincible red scorpion enemy that zooms toward you at the speed of a child in Heelys as soon as the game starts, making escape near-impossible. Though it has two massive chain guns in place of arms and an understandably unhappy second face where his groin should be, we love a man who knows what he wants.
#20: Ustanak: Resident Evil 6
He wishes he had what X and I have.
#19: Slender Man: Slender: The Eight Pages
There’s something will-they-won’t-they about Slender: The Eight Pages. Does he want me? Does he hate me? Is sexual tension possible with a lumpy 3D model that has less fidelity than Elon Musk? One day Slender Man and I will finally consummate our game of cat and mouse with a sloppy makeout sesh behind the oil tanks, but until then, that emotionless mashed potato face betrays nothing.
#18: SOMETHING TRULY EVIL: World of Horror
SOMETHING TRULY EVIL is a nameless entity encountered in World of Horror, a work of profound Junji Ito fan service. It can appear in any number of random events as you play, after which it slowly stalks you as you continue investigating mysteries, until the day it finally comes for you. It even takes away your ability to save the game when it’s on your trail. Obsession is nice and all if you’re into that, but when it comes to pretty faces, I need a little more to go off of than a starless, gaping void where the black dregs of my mind overflow like ants from a grave.
#17: Everyone, Everything: Spooky’s Jumpscare Mansion
Where is the vague sense of horniness coming from in Spooky’s Jumpscare Mansion? Is it the tongue-in-cheek writing? The way it sometimes feels like fan art? The adorably high-pitched voice of Spooky who I know is creator Akuma Kira speaking to me through a voice modulator like the voice of God to Moses from the burning bush? Everyone and everything from Spooky’s is an edge case (don’t say it) for the purpose of this list, both on account of the specimens only fulfilling the latter half of the “roaming pursuer” criteria and because when it comes to sexual tension, they’re pretty hit or miss. Sure, Bab’s got those curves and Parasite is good for a carnal embrace, but the likes of Deer Lord, or Ringu? And how would I even do it with a room?
#16: The Hunter: Dead Space 1 & 2 & Damn I Guess 3 as Well
Though it goes by different names throughout the Dead Space series, The Hunter, as it’s called in the first game, is a one-of-a-kind late-game enemy with a tiny bit of lore thrown in for kicks in Dead Space 1 and then for truly no reason in Dead Space 2 and 3. It’s a muscular, fearsome Necromorph capable of regeneration and, presumably, human pleasure, but I don’t get the sense he’s into me like that. Which is a shame, because we could get up to some shenanigans with a Stasis Module.
#15: Grunts: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
While clearly into rope play and boasting surprising strength in the face of a wooden door piled high with every chair, barrel, and physics-enabled object not nailed to the ground, Alexander’s servants are undyingly loyal to their master. I’d have far better luck with the suitors from Amnesia: Justine. Forget A Machine for Pigs, with Justine you get full hog straight out the gate.
#14: Mr. Shakedown: Yakuza 0
Mr. Shakedown is a special enemy in Yakuzo 0 with one goal in mind: walking slowly toward you and shaking you down for cash when he catches you. That may sound like two goals, but they both get lumped under the banner of being a pain in the ass at inconvenient times during gameplay. While Mr. Shakedown may be handsome in all his appearances, I know a gold-digger when I see one. Keep walking, buddy, I know my worth— specifically when it comes flying out of my ragdoll body in the form of coins and paper money.
#13: The Pursuer: Dark Souls 2
The Pursuer deserves a spot here purely for being an absolute SEO nightmare and completely screwing up all my attempts at research for this list. “Pursuer enemies in video games”? He’s there. “Best roaming pursuer enemies”? He’s there. “Horny knights with bullshit weapon hitboxes near me”? That’s him, officer. This isn’t one of my Dark Souls lists, so get outta here.
#12: The Beast: Amnesia: The Bunker
What can I say? I’m a big fan of enemies to lovers ships.
#11: Daniella: Haunting Ground
There’s a thin line between jealousy and desire, and Daniella walks it flawlessly. Starting as a chilly but harmless NPC in the game’s gloomy castle, Daniella becomes Haunting Ground’s second stalker following the defeat of Debilitas, after which she does what any caring maid would do for a would-be victim of kidnapping and murder: she tries to feed you ten bowls of soup, says very normal things about your “womb”, then smashes her head into a window repeatedly before chasing you with a comically oversized shard of glass. Despite or maybe because of all this, the sexual tension between me and Daniella is strong right off the bat, but like every other character in Haunting Ground except the dog, Daniella only wants Fiona for her own violent, vaguely sexual purposes, so it’s only fair she’d place in the middle of this list.
#10: Scissorman: Clock Tower
There’s something appealing about a short king. And who could deny that little dance he does when he hits you?
#9: Nemesis: Resident Evil 3
Resident Evil fans may be surprised to see one of the original pursuer enemies in video games show up relatively low on this list. Though Nemesis may have a singular focus on the player and an outfit halfway between fetish gear and a trash bag, he also tends to play hot and cold. One minute he’s grabbing me with those big strong hands, only to throw me away the next. Make up your mind.
#8: SA-X: Metroid Fusion
Although not romantic in itself, there is a kind of carnal tension in the humiliation and eventual triumph of a honed warrior over their stronger, primal shadow self. This is what Metroid Fusion brings to the table with the SA-X, an X Parasite that takes the form of Samus Aran, sporting her toughest gear and an ice white stare that can be felt through the screen as it roams the space station. When Samus finally conquers the parasite and reclaims her identity, it is a reunion as sweet and charged as a stolen kiss.
#7: Riccardo: Haunting Ground
If you’re tired of hearing about the 2005 cult classic Haunting Ground, in which everything with two legs wants to objectify and/or assault you, you’ll be happy to know Riccardo, Haunting Ground’s hooded, sandal-wearing stalker, is the final enemy from the game to appear on this list. He is the second to last roaming pursuer Fiona faces and has the distinction of being the only character on this list whose weapon is straight-up a gun and who will shoot you in the head execution style if his AI feels so inclined. So what if he’s bald? So what if he has a statue of you but pregnant? So what if he’s the clone of your father who killed him and locked you in a cage in a castle? He’s a suave and arguably gracious host, calling you “miss” and “dear”, and his monkcore style and goatee is undeniably sexy. The only thing stopping Riccardo from being higher on this list is Haunting Ground’s “Ending D”, which I read about so you don’t have to. That, and he’s mean to dogs.
#6: Pyramid Head: Silent Hill 2
Pyramid Head is pure sex. Literally, in the way that he’s a manifestation of James’s sexual frustration and desire for punishment. But also in the way that his arms could lift me like a doll and his powerful thighs could send my brain squirting out of my skull. That’s not to mention his bulletproof abs and constant heavy breathing. And remember that time Dead by Daylight had to patch out his cake?
#5: The Alien: Alien: Isolation
H. R. Giger was put on this earth to make penis cities and vagina monsters and he damn well knew it. Sex is both canvas and brush to him, with the design of the original Xenomorph being so inherently erotic—both phallic and yonic depending where you look and how little you value your life—it’s impossible not to confer some level of sexual tension to the game of cat and mouse played between me and the alien in IGN’s favorite horror game. Alien: Isolation features novel enemy AI that has eyes only for you, as well as the ability to walk face first into a drizzle of alien spit many, many times over the course of its twice-as-long-as-it-should-be playtime, and if that doesn’t earn it a place in the top five I don’t know what does.
#4: Mr. X: Resident Evil 2
Daddy.
#3: Jack Baker: Resident Evil 7: Biohazard
After a five-year hiatus, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard was able to breathe new life into the RE series thanks to a renewed focus on horror, a de-emphasis on decades of established lore, and a sadistic family of rustic villains almost on par with the Republican party. Their patriarch is Jack Baker, a kindly host whose violent outbursts are matched only by his folksy charm and fondness for saying iconic shit seconds before knocking you out cold. Our sexual tension grows with every playful taunt, and that’s to say nothing of his dad bod— or rather, his series of increasingly grotesque dad bods, some of which sport glowing weak points.
#2: Rick Trager: Outlast
The first time you meet Rick Trager, he lures you into a dumbwaiter in a moment of desperation before punching you in the face, and the last time you meet him he’s lunging at you with a pair of bone shears in an elevator. The compellingly designed and voiced Trager is, in the lore of Outlast, a former Murkoff executive playing doctor, who espouses his belief that “God died with the gold standard” and uses business school buzzwords as grounds for chopping up patients (“turning the consumer into the means of production”). His grift has become his obsession, his art. You can’t keep calling someone “buddy” with your ass fully out like that and not expect me to fall a little bit in love.
#1: Lady Dimitrescu: Resident Evil Village
To the surprise of no one, not one soul on this earth, the top spot for pursuer enemy who has the most sexual tension with me is none other than Resident Evil Village’s Lady Dimitrescu: a character precision-engineered in a sick Capcom lab to satisfy the far-reaching corporate interests of Big Femdom. The 9’6” vampire became what they call a Breakout Character following her reveal in the first trailer for Village, which is another way of saying she currently has the most search results of any RE character on Rule34. She’s instantly memorable: her towering frame, her wide-brimmed hat, her ivory gown with questionable back support, it all comes together to paint a frightening yet seductive picture of what would happen if the sentiment “I want her to step on me” grew wings and flew away to a place where dreams come true and God is blind. Her dogged pursuit of the player through Castle Dimitrescu is one of the highlights of Resident Evil Village and a likely turning point in the lives of tall women everywhere who had given up on the idea that Halloween could be for them.
