If you’ve played Ubisoft’s long-running team shooter for any respectable amount of time, you may notice your brain starting to rewire itself in new and frightening ways. Your eyes unconsciously scan bookshelves for drones. You stop walking past windows. Your dreams are all set in Chalet Basement, and they’re nightmares. That, and the Operators start endearing themselves to your cold, cynical heart.

And why shouldn’t they? How can you not come to love their catchphrases, their comically situational gadgets, their highly questionable rules of engagement? Ubisoft spends a frankly inordinate amount of time writing biographies, interviews, and “psychological reports” for all of their Operators, but the star of the show has to be the silly little quotes. Sorry, not silly. They are oh so very serious: bolded quotes that sum up the whole of the character’s ethos and personhood, much like one’s bio in an equally competitive scene dominated by toxic males obsessed with your body count: dating apps. With that in mind, here is every Rainbow Six Siege Operator quote ranked by how hard they’d go as Tinder bios.

#75-54: Shit That Gets You Banned

Let’s be real. At the time of writing, Rainbow Six Siege has a whopping 75 Operators for players to choose from, with new ones being added every few months. Though I do get paid per list entry, it’d be irresponsible to make you read through twenty-two of the worst Tinder bios I’ve ever seen in my life. Some are outright boring or irrelevant, while others may even get you banned from the app. They range from the mundane (“In every conflict, it’s the children who are made to suffer, even after the fighting has stopped.” That’s very nice, Aruni) to the badass (“The only thing I feel when I pull the trigger is recoil.” ~ Nøkk) to one of the worst things I’ve ever seen put to print (“You say potato, I say botnet.” ~ Dokkaebi). Brava’s “Sometimes the only path to justice is through a bullet…” could sum up the driving dogma of the United States justice system, while Ying’s “Protecting others is a calling. If you don’t feel it, walk away.” could work for a very noncommittal army recruitment poster, but if I see any of these on your profile, I’m swiping left. Come on, Rainbow, do better. It’s what Harry would have wanted.

#53: “You see a wall, I see an opportunity.” ~ Thermite

This one almost feels like it makes sense in a non-literal way. Thermite’s Operator quote does a good job showing off his glass half-full attitude and willingness to improvise a workaround for any situation. Now if he could just take off the goggles so we can get a good look at those sad, soulful eyes.

#52: “Forget who you are, and nothing else matters. You’ll fight for anyone, and never know why.” ~ Amaru

A little prosaic, and definitely too haunting for a dating profile, but I doubt she’ll have a problem getting matches.

#51: “People think my codename is because I don’t like to talk. Maybe I just don’t like you.” ~ Mute

Not gonna lie, off to a really bad start.

#50: “Don’t ask me what I’m doing on my phone. You don’t want to know.” ~ Echo

Direct. Confident. As a bio, this is entirely too confrontational, but some people like that kind of thing. The real problem is it 100% sounds like he’s watching porn, which knowing Echo and his pervy Yokai drones, he probably is.

#49: “It isn’t about where you end up, it’s about how you make it home.” ~ Zofia

Zofia has one of the few—and I mean startlingly few—Operator quotes that actually feels thoughtful and devoid of pretense. Which of course means it has no place on a dating app.

#48: “Survival is all about timing. Nature doesn’t give second chances.” ~ Bandit

Nature lover, huh? You and everyone else. Does no one go for video game satire writers anymore?

#47: “Never reveal the cards you were dealt.” ~ Alibi

Alibi’s quote certainly sounds cool, but it’s antithetical to the human experience. How are we, as thinking, feeling creatures, supposed to find connection while our hearts are closed to each other? A turtle in its shell is protected from harm, but it never sees the sun— in the same way a Defender who isn’t peeking may clutch the win but not the kill. Alibi may be content roaming the dating field for now, but sooner or later we all rotate back to site.

#46: “Every conflict is an iteration upon the last. Every scar, a victory.” ~ Montagne

Every raindrop contributes to the ocean. Every wave, its own storm. See? I can write generically profound shit too.

#45: “I may not have family, but I have Redhammer.” ~ Ram

Found family is important, but this is incredibly sad Ram. No one on Tinder is going to know what Redhammer is. I’m staring at the Rainbow Wiki page right now and I barely understand what it is, other than an excuse for some Rescue Heroes-ass cosmetics.

#44: “Honor is not the only thing worth protecting… but sometimes it’s all you have left.” ~ Azami

It’s never a bad idea to flex your strong morals, but self-deprecation has a time and place. The honor-bound warrior who thirsts for revenge is extremely overplayed in American markets. Maybe try something a little more uwu.

#43: “You’ve gotta have a couple of roos loose in the top paddock to sign up for this life, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be.” ~ Gridlock

Jesus Christ. Is this parody?

#42: “Don’t worry about me. I was never here.” ~ Vigil

You have to admire someone who has the confidence to announce 1) I’m not here to catch feelings, and 2) I will ghost you faster than a Maverick getting brained through his own peephole.

#41: “Make no excuses for who you are. Only the weak-minded will demand you make yourself smaller.” ~ Lesion

Lesion’s Operator quote is almost a powerful declaration of pride and individuality, a breath of fresh air amidst the other catchlines and “I sold my soul to the way of the gun” testimonials. Dare I say, it would be higher on this list if not for the inclusion of “weak-minded”, which puts a sour taste on everything that comes before it. “Weak-minded” is not a real person word. It exists purely in the realm of fiction as a thing for villains to say. No self-respecting person is swiping right on someone with villain energy, unless that villain is Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman.

#40: “Listen up, people: No one dies today. Any questions’ll just have to wait.” ~ Castle

Dating apps can be a scary place, especially for women and femmes, so it’s good to reassure potential partners that they’ll be safe with you. Castle should be prepared for the possibility that his matches may indeed have additional questions after this, though.

#39: “A person is never more honest than when they think they’re alone.” ~ Goyo

You can’t be saying shit like that, Goyo. Not on the apps, not anywhere. The funniest part is that Goyo’s signature gadget has nothing to do with surveillance (he sticks a can of gasoline onto a deployable shield for your teammates to blow up at inopportune times), so he’s just saying freaky voyeur crap for the love of the game.

#38: “Imagination keeps you alive. It’s how you find your way out of the dark. That, and a flashlight.” ~ Glaz

Glaz comes in swinging with a thoughtful, pithy bio, only to undercut it with a touch of “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?” humor. I would say to cut that last bit, but I’m afraid that was the first time he’s ever cracked a joke and I don’t want to discourage the habit.

#37: “Acceptable casualties? Nah.” ~ Tubarão

What the hell. Sure.

#36: “People lie. Data does not.” ~ Solis

Just say you’re an INTJ.

#35: “Did I ever tell you about the time we tree-jumped into the Congo Swamp at night? No? Oh, it’s a good one.” ~ Maestro

Maestro’s Operator quote doesn’t necessarily “go hard”, but it does dangle a thread of tantalizing conversation, which is crucial for securing matches on Tinder. Or maybe not, honestly I wouldn’t know.

#34: “I don’t like photos of myself. The lighting is always wrong.” ~ Blitz

This sounds less like an Operator quote and more like the caption for a Humans of New York photo of a sweet old lady.

#33: “Life is the ultimate Rube Goldberg machine.” ~ IQ

IQ’s quote is fun and full of whimsy, two words I would never use to describe my years playing Rainbow Six Siege. Though it’s a touch impersonal, this is the kind of playful observation that can tell you a lot about someone’s worldview, which makes it a good fit for Tinder, where things like worldview and personality are given as much if not more consideration than appearances.

#32: “Follow me. I know a shortcut.” ~ Buck

Intriguing! Where are we going?

#31: “I’m never unprepared.” ~ Warden

On an app where men regularly attempt to woo the opposite sex with dirty mirror selfies and American war crime-esque photos of fish, it’s safe to say Warden’s Operator quote may actually hit a sweet spot somewhere between boastful and whatever the hell it is turns kids on nowadays.

#30: “The closer you are to death, the more vibrant life becomes.” ~ Wamai

Some serial killer shit. Unfortunately goes hard.

#29: “C’mon, I’m not here to fuck spiders.” ~ Mozzie

This is apparently Aussie slang that means “I’m not fooling around”, but I read years ago that no one actually says it in Australia and it’s mostly used to confuse tourists. Yet to this day, I can’t find anything else confirming that and the phrase is treated as 100% genuine, so I’m left questioning everything and wondering how deep the web truly goes. Which is, ironically, something you might say while fucking a spider.

#28: “All systems are complementary, if you know how to connect them.” ~ Iana

It’s possible this refers to sex.

#27: “Pick on someone your own size.” ~ Thorn

All jokes aside, this would actually be a hilarious Tinder bio and I hope someone goes on and uses it with my and Ubisoft’s blessing. I can’t afford to take the risk myself, especially as a self-described Short King.

#26: “We earned the right to be here. Now we just have to earn the right to stay.” ~ Striker

This quote is clearly referring to Strikers (formerly the Operator called “Recruit”, a newbie class that signals to other players that everything that is about to happen in-game is your fault) being admitted into Rainbow and having to prove themselves through training, but with a little imagination one could apply it to the world at large. After all, what are we doing on this earth every day if not proving our right to stay?

#25: “Deep down in my veins, I knew I had to travel. Now that I have, I’m certain I haven’t travelled enough.” ~ Nomad

This is the kind of humble, grounded quote you’d expect from Nomad, who among all the Operators in Rainbow Six seems the most likely to stop for a minute and wonder what the hell is going on and why she’s defusing a chemical weapon on a breached luxury yacht in the Arctic Ocean.

#24: “Focusing only on the bad things in life will keep you from seeing the many opportunities to do good.” ~ Capitão

Look. Making a ranked list of every Rainbow Six Siege Operator quote means you will inherently have to contend with some of the blandest, most unthinkably trite sentences put to paper. This quote by Capitão could belong to anyone and everyone and no one. It’s a fortune cookie fortune without the pith or the lottery numbers on the back. But given the sheer number of Tinder bios that are word-for-word “You deserve good things and I want to be one of them”, “My love language is sarcasm”, or mention anything about a “flirt-to-roast ratio”, maybe trite can get you places.

#23: “If you don’t constantly feel like you’re being watched, then you aren’t paying attention.” ~ Valkyrie

This bio will likely resonate with people who think Alexa is secretly listening to them and then passing that info off to Google with the express purpose of occasionally showing an ad for a product you mentioned you were thinking about trying.

#22: “Understanding is the only tool that vanquishes ignorance.” ~ Melusi

Next time let’s try a little less to sound like the slogan of an American print publication.

#21: “Fear is a teacher. There’s always a lesson to be learned.” ~ Fenrir

Teach me, daddy.

#20: “Brute force only gets you so far. Victory is determined in the mind of a strategist.” ~ Sens

Sens, your gadget is a rolly disk that bounces off walls and throws up a Popsicle-colored projection screen for three seconds. Don’t come here talking about “mind of a strategist”.

#19: “Here’s my quote: Don’t waste my fucking time.” ~ Skopós

This is actually extremely similar to a lot of bios I’ve seen, albeit a little more polite.

#18: “In life, you have to commit to the things that make you happy. For me, that’s robbing the rich and corrupt.” ~ Flores

Listing a few of your interests in your bio may seem self-indulgent, but it’s actually an important way to both express yourself and make connections with people.

#17: “Coming through!” ~ Sledge

Tells you everything you need to know.

#16: “The hand you get dealt isn’t the one you have to keep.” ~ Finka

Ubisoft must have forgotten about Finka’s Operator quote by the time they introduced Alibi that same year, because there’s not half a lick of difference between “Never reveal the cards you were dealt” and “The hand you get dealt isn’t the one you have to keep”. Maybe they play cards together. The latter quote works far better in the only context that matters, though: finding the love of your life on the dating app that, for a limited time in April, would let you “test your flirting skills” with an AI in a feature called The Game Game, which is a bit of true information I deliver to you devoid of joke or satirical spin.

#15: “Not every child gets to choose who they grow up to be.” ~ Caveira

Damn, that goes hard. A little dark for Tinder, though— maybe try something like, “Looking for the Jim to my Pam.”

#14: “Confusing what is right with what is easy can lead down a dangerous path.” ~ Lion

Lion’s Operator quote is something to live by, and works perfectly as a Tinder bio thanks precisely to the app’s reputation for flings and other rapid infiltration ops. There’s a reason he’s called “Mr. Right” and not “Mr. Easy”, after all.

#13: “Acceptance of mediocrity is the first step toward failure.” ~ Kali

Leave it to Kali to come up with a quote that somehow serves as both motivation and mild threat. Never settle, boys!

#12: “Think of me as your conscience. I see everything, and I’m just as ruthless.” ~ Mira

It almost makes you want to reinforce Mira’s wall just so she’ll team kill you and be forced to step on you every time she rotates.

#11: “Sometimes, the only way out is through.” ~ Oryx

Oryx could have one half-cropped blurry photo and no bio to speak of and he’d still have the most popular profile in 100 miles. Whether this quote speaks to a problematic approach to doomed relationships is beside the point.

#10: “Prepare, execute, vanish.” ~ Zero

I’ve given other Operators shit for pursuing frivolous hook-ups instead of love, but there’s nothing wrong with dating for pleasure, especially if you make your intentions clear from the start and you’re as exceedingly, blisteringly good at it as Sam Fisher. They don’t call his line of business “wetwork” for nothing.

#9: “What you can feel, what you can touch – those are the things that are real. Everything else is just a distraction.” ~ Thatcher

How does Thatcher make the carnal pleasures of the flesh sound so ponderous, yet needful? What experiences lie behind the mystery of that mask; what is the handsome face to whom these musings belong? If you’re lucky, you haven’t seen his elite skin and will never know.

#8: “They told me I’d died. They were wrong. I was reborn.” ~ Tachanka

Here we go, this is how you do it. Instantly attention-grabbing, memorable, raises questions and opens the conversation up in a big way. Hell yeah Tachanka, you under-picked bastard, tell us how you were reborn, my lord.

#7: “The Devil’s in the details… that’s where you’ll find me.” ~ Maverick

You wanna play devilish, huh? Ready or not, here I come.

#6: “Together, we can shake the very stars from the sky.” ~ Ela

Cool! Kind of romantic. Actually, where is this energy coming from? Why is she speaking like that? This sounds like a quote from a completely different game. I think the “together” is supposed to reference her sister Zofia, who is also an Operator in Rainbow Six, which makes Ela’s bio all the funnier given the fact Zofia’s quote doesn’t reference her at all.

#5: “You can’t escape me, but that doesn’t mean you won’t try.” ~ Jackal

On a woman’s profile, this is a playful, tongue-in-cheek bio, as harmless as “I’ll fall for you if you trip me”. On a man’s profile, this is terrifying.

#4: “My job is to keep you alive. Make it as hard as you like.” ~ Doc

Let me read that last sentence again—

#3: “Get out of my way.” ~ Grim

I love this badass, completely unapproachable Tinder bio. It perfectly distills the bullheaded, “take it or leave it” mentality enshrined in the dating app ecosystem down to its essence, in the process achieving something like purity. “Get out of my way” is a complete dismissal of everything but the self. Or, it might be a warning about the bees. Hard to tell. You should really mention the bees, Grim.

#2: The heart is just a motor. Like any machine, it can be fine-tuned.” ~ Pulse

He may look like your Republican uncle who in turn looks like if Lex Luther let himself go, but Pulse proves he’s more than just the face of privilege in America with this cool-as-hell Operator quote, effortlessly drawing the connection between his signature gadget (a heartbeat sensor) and the heart as a dual-purpose organ, one that serves as both dispassionate machine and metaphorical seat of the human soul. Such skillful composition doubtless won’t go unnoticed by potential suitors, who are unlikely to see his shiny bald head and resting ICE face and swipe left so fast the phone flies out of their hands.

#1: “Come closer. I dare you.” ~ Clash

Clash is by far the most annoying Operator in the game mechanically and tied with Mira for the most annoying Operator experientially, with her voice lines being best described as “angry British noises”, but I’ll be damned if her quote doesn’t go the hardest of every Operator as a Tinder bio. As someone whose own Tinder is chronically over-tuned to maximize earnestness, humor, and remaining character count at all times, this short bio has the kind of unearned confidence I yearn for. It invites you in while hinting at a danger that could be yours, should you risk it. The core of Rainbow Six Siege is all about risk and reward, after all, with decisions of when to peek, when to rotate, and when to chase one drone across the entire map as it hops around like the goddamn roadrunner all playing into the risk/reward gameplay that makes Siege, Siege. And what is love if not the greatest risk—and most transcendent reward—of them all?