Mario Exhausted After Taking Massive Jump
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Onlookers were astonished earlier today as the mustachioed hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario, collapsed in exhaustion…
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Kevin Flynn — Page 8
137 stories found
Ubisoft Announces ‘Prince of Persia’ Remake in Effort to Rewind Time to Before They Fucked Up
MONTREUIL, France — As part of their UbiForward presentation showcasing their upcoming releases, French game developer Ubisoft announced that they’re…
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Game Not Nearly Difficult Enough to Justify This Many Power-Ups
METHUEN, Mass. — Guessing that he could probably blow through the second half of the game without picking up a…
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Tosh.0 Patched to Tosh.1
CULVER CITY, Calif. — Comedy Central announced in a press release this morning that their longrunning online video roundup show,…
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Impossible Fall Guys Achievement Awards Players for Entering 5 Consecutive Matches
LONDON — Following a recent patch to the popular new battle royale game, gamers have discovered the addition of an…
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Game’s Lore Goes to Painstaking Lengths to Explain Why Bad Guys Have Glowing Red Eyes
CLEVELAND — Noting that he would’ve accepted the detail at face value without an explanation, local gamer Thomas Windermere told…
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Alex Jones Announces ‘InfoWars Tactics’
DALLAS, Texas — Claiming that the new game would revolutionize the long running InfoWars franchise, far-right radio host and conspiracy…
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Gamer Builds PC That Should Be Upgradeable All the Way Through Midlife Crisis
NEW YORK — Estimating that his components could continue providing decent performance even several years in the future when he…
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Moronic Dataminers Thrilled After Discovering Luigi In ‘Super Mario 64 DS’
NEW YORK — Following a string of leaks of early builds and scrapped ideas for beloved Nintendo games, the emulation…
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Racist JRPG Fan Casts Heal on Entire Party Whenever Black Character Injured
BOSTON — Offending his viewers by asserting that all of his characters’ hit points matter equally, JRPG enthusiast and known…
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