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Kevin Flynn

April 7, 2021

Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable

Guy Who Threw Away Box Without Looking Can’t Believe PS5 Didn’t Come With Power Cable

NEW YORK — Scoffing at the disappointing contents of the package he’d just paid $500 for, local man Tyler Lopresti, who just moments ago threw…

March 16, 2021

FCC Recommends Downloading Three Large Files a Day to Keep Internet Connection Healthy and Regular

FCC Recommends Downloading Three Large Files a Day to Keep Internet Connection Healthy and Regular

WASHINGTON — In an effort to bolster the strength of the nation’s internet infrastructure, Acting FCC Chairwoman Jessica Rosenworcel issued a statement Monday advising all…

March 11, 2021

Twitch Updates Harassment Policy to Foster Creation of New, More Inventive Slurs

Twitch Updates Harassment Policy to Foster Creation of New, More Inventive Slurs

SAN FRANCISCO — Following a string of community controversies, the popular gaming website Twitch unveiled a new harassment policy aimed at cultivating the development of…

March 10, 2021

Dorian Gray Sells One-of-a-Kind Portrait as NFT

Dorian Gray Sells One-of-a-Kind Portrait as NFT

LONDON — Handsome young socialite Dorian Gray announced today that he’ll be distributing the digital rights to a one-of-a-kind portrait of himself as a non-fungible…

March 9, 2021

America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose

America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose

WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the United States have begun to…

January 30, 2021

Financially Savvy Gamer Inks Six Figure Deal

Financially Savvy Gamer Inks Six Figure Deal

NEW YORK — Local gamer and financial wizard Thomas Kleinman impressed his friends and family with the news that he had inked a deal worth…

January 26, 2021

Scott Pilgrim Game Re-Release Includes Disclaimer Screen Acknowledging That Scott Is a Pretty Bad Boyfriend

Scott Pilgrim Game Re-Release Includes Disclaimer Screen Acknowledging That Scott Is a Pretty Bad Boyfriend

TORONTO — Fans of the long-inaccessible retro beat ‘em up Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game were pleasantly surprised to discover that publisher Ubisoft…

January 18, 2021

Man Who Wasted Youth Playing Video Games Vows To Waste Old Age Playing Video Games

Man Who Wasted Youth Playing Video Games Vows To Waste Old Age Playing Video Games

BOSTON — Resolving to himself that things in his life would be exactly the same as they used to be from now on, local man…

January 17, 2021

Gamer Sits Through Credits of Game to Memorize Names of 300 QA Testers

Gamer Sits Through Credits of Game to Memorize Names of 300 QA Testers

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Respectfully ignoring the opportunity to press the X button and skip the entire sequence, local gamer Louis Moore reportedly sat through…