PHILADELPHIA, PA – Negotiations around Cody Rhodes’ apparent return to the top of this year’s WrestleMania card turned hostile today, when would-be main-event hijacker Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson threatened to re-take the main event and future Manias for each day that a sequel to 2021 box office disappointment Jungle Cruise has not entered pre-production, reports confirmed.
“I’ll do it! I swear to Black Adam I will!” a manic Johnson shouted through a megaphone from the roof of Lincoln Financial Field. “If Jungle Cruise 2 hasn’t been announced for a tentative summer 2026 release within 24 hours, then this year’s WrestleMania ends with The Rock pinning Roman Reigns with the People’s Elbow to become WWE Universal Champion. We’ll have another press conference and I’ll figure it out. And for every extra day it takes for this highly anticipated sequel to be confirmed, that’s one more year of The Rock successfully defending that belt exclusively in the main event of WrestleMania.”
Reports from the scene confirm that the would-be hijacker had already attempted to kill one year’s worth of WWE storytelling before a rather impressive heel turn, and his threats are being taken very seriously. Those threats are quite simply to put a stranglehold on the WWE until a follow-up to the 62% Rotten Tomatoes scored Johnson vehicle is made official.
Sources close to Johnson say “Cody Crybabies” was just the beginning and that he would take no prisoners on the mic if he didn’t get his way.
“Emily Blunt better be attached to return too, or so help me god Cody Rhodes is going to come out and raise my hand after I win that title,” Johnson said. “You think I’m playing around? Ask CM Punk what happened in 2012 and 2013 when nobody would make that Hercules movie I wanted. Don’t test me.”
When reached for comment, authorities said it was looking less and less likely that the situation could be resolved without the tragic death of several younger WWE wrestlers’ pushes.
“We got him to temporarily agree to giving up the main event but now he’s insisting that Jungle Cruise 2 get a $300 million budget and be shot in 3D. The first one didn’t even make $300 million total,” the negotiator said, sweating nervously. “If we can’t calm him down soon with another terrible guest verse on a rap song, then Gunther and Sami Zayn might never be world champions. But we’ll do everything in our power to prevent that from happening… or not happening, I guess.”
At press time, WWE officials were praying that Johnson’s main event siege would continue to make headlines until all current lawsuits for sexual assault and human trafficking were settled.
CAIRO – A thorough analysis of the past and present state of the Yu-Gi-Oh meta this weekend revealed the game’s legendary Egyptian God cards were noticeably absent from the competitive scene, an omission that could be chalked up to them probably being too powerful, assumed the Egyptian Gods.
“I have known power, and with time I shall know it again,” said Obelisk the Tormentor, voice booming with arcane thunder and wings beating the air into a furious maelstrom of a thousand last breaths. “When it comes to the world’s third most popular children’s card game, only the cruelest, mightiest monsters can prevail. Divine Arsenal AA-ZEUS. Accesscode Talker. That chick on the horse. All find their seats of power in the nightmare cathedrals and entombed cities whence I dwell, and when they fall, as all do, under the ranks of newer power crept legions, I shall welcome them into the embrace of my lamenting grasp.”
“I mourn only that my strength is bottomless,” continued the Tormentor, “and I shall not see the hallowed fields of battle as I did in Ancient Egypt. Duelists simply cannot fathom a monster like Obelisk: a three-tribute, 4000 ATK beater that offs itself if special summoned and can’t attack the same turn it uses its effect. With such power, I outmatch even the legendary Blue-Eyes White Dragon— for whom I would presumably never be sacrificed.”
Not every Egyptian God shared Obelisk’s confidence, however, with others expressing doubt over how well their divine status has been translated from ancient legend.
“Look, it’s a tough scene out there,” said Slifer the Sky Dragon, who admitted he occasionally inhales the exhaust fumes of commercial jets just to feel something. “Lots of monsters are vying for meta status. They come out on the field looking all smug with their quick effects and negates and legs cropped out of their art. Meanwhile when I hit the field, I don’t know man, it doesn’t feel like the dawn of true power. It feels like I’m gonna get popped by something with three hyphens in its name and its level on the wrong side of the card. But there I go complaining about the state of the game again. Gods forbid a dragon has opinions.”
“Obelisk can talk, at least he has protection,” continued Slifer. “I have two mouths and don’t talk half as much shit. Yeah, Torm’s untargetable. Absolutely unheard of in my day, by the way. It’s still not enough. Duelists these days, they have answers to everything. Non-targeting removal. Traps that ‘bounce’ and ‘spin’, like my livelihood is a damn party. And for monsters unaffected by card effects, they have something called ‘turtle’. Game’s downright unplayable. Not that you need any of that for me, mind you, I’m usually swinging with 2000 ATK/DEF max. Is a legendary Egyptian God not even worth an Imperm?”
“It’s not all as bad as my colleague makes it sound,” added the Winged Dragon of Ra. “Slifer forgets, our original incarnations commanded such strength they had to be shackled under those words of power: ‘This card cannot be used in a Duel’. Perhaps it is better that these pale imitations, Gods in image only, are so stupid awful they need a full hand of support to be less useful than one Fallen Paradise is for Sacred Beasts and half as good as Ra – Sphere Mode in any deck.”
“I do feel for Obelisk though,” continued the Winged Dragon, who has not heard its ancient Hieratic chant read for many years and questioned whether it was indeed still visible under the light of Ra. “He forgets things more and more, it’s so sad. The other day he asked me when I thought we’d be play legal. Before that I saw him checking a 2014 ban list to see if we’d ‘been hit’. I didn’t have the heart to tell him you could run each of us at three. I still don’t.”
Though skeptical when questioned about the relevancy of the God cards in Yu-Gi-Oh’s future metas, players were quick to affirm their nostalgia for the iconic trio.
“I love the Egyptian God cards,” said pro-duelist Duncan Wheeler. “Their art is among the best and most evocative in the whole card pool, and just seeing those names makes me so sentimental. Especially up against the original red, yellow, and blue backs.”
“Put it this way. They’ll always belong in my heart,” offered Wheeler. “Just keep them the hell away from my deck.”
At press time, police had reportedly been called to conduct a wellness check on Slifer after he was recognized by a fan who mistook him for Uria, Lord of Searing Flames, not for the first time that week.
A BASEMENT — A local Dungeons & Dragons player reportedly has spent several hours isolated in their basement focused on picking out the correct dice to match their new character, which was made in 25 minutes as a joke.
“Look I understand some may say I’m overthinking this, but all I’m doing is making sure I can enjoy this game as much as possible,” said Timothy Gaines, longtime D&D player. ”Just because my character ‘Sbeve’ was largely made from hitting randomize on D&D Beyond doesn’t mean I shouldn’t put some thought into how I play him. Besides, I’ve spent so much money on dice it’d be wasteful to not spend so much time making sure it fits.”
While Gaines refused to disclose exactly how much they spent on dice, a local game store owner does recall them as a frequent customer.
“Typically they walk in here whenever they get some bonus, start a new game, or we get new dice in stock. I’m not sure how they always know about that last one but hey, so long as they keep spending their money here I’m not gonna question it,” said the owner of the store. “Besides, ain’t like I’m gonna throw them out. I got a kid going to college soon, and they are bankrolling that.”
Local game master Greg Greenwood noted this behavior was pretty typical not just for the player in question but for all at their table.
“I see it pretty much in all my players. Hardly any start a game with a dice combination that they’ve used before. Occasionally I get an oddball who has different dice for every session, but typically these hoarders aren’t too far gone and stick with one set a character,” Greenwood said. “I just wish some would put more thought into their characters rather than dice. I’m fine with simple, silly, goofy characters. However, when your party is all spell casters about as strong as a wet piece of paper, it makes combat a wee bit annoying for me to set up.”
At press time, Gaines was forced to create a new character after Sbeve died failing a constitution save while eating a piece of bread found on the ground.
Growing up, I learned about life from all viewpoints. My mom, a social activist, taught me the meaning of respect by getting into public screaming matches with strangers on other people’s behalf. My dad, a degenerate gamer, taught me patience by waiting for steam sales, then promptly blowing his entire paycheck on a bunch of indie garbage. My perspective is what some might call enlightened.
However, I was presented with a challenge recently — a true test of my morals. I went on Steam this morning and found out an indie developer who has posted some truly heinous things online is having a “75% off ALL games from this publisher” sale. It honestly seems like the proceeds may go to a militia or something but… what a great deal.
What if my perfect game is in there waiting for me to buy it and never even install it? My whole body is itching to dump my entire 401k into this and buy so many games I get carpal tunnel just trying to scroll through them all. Unfortunately, the more games I buy, the more flannel Kevlar vests I’m probably funding. Will I see them on the news one day? Does it matter if I get the right price?
What would my mom say? I think she’d say, “Buy blue no matter who” but Dad would say “A man must separate price from artist.” OK, so my mom and dad clearly aren’t on the same, but she has a point. I don’t think I can take advantage of this extremely rare, incredible, once in a lifetime opportunity of a sale… right?
But what if dad is right? It wouldn’t be honest of me to only consider one side, right? Right? Hm. I think my dad would say something like, “You never know if this sale could be your last sale. You can fight the the good fight another day, son. Bad guys will stick around, unfortunately. But you know what won’t stick around? Chode Simulator and all its DLC (downloadable chode) packs for twenty five cents on the dollar.”
Update: OK, so I won’t tell you what I decided to do because I’m entitled to my privacy, but if you want to watch me play Chode Simulator I’ll be live streaming tonight at 7 P.M. ET.
Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today Feb 13.
We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned, then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.
An informal or colloquial verb that means to leave or go away quickly, often in a hurried or abrupt manner.
Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter
The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“M”
Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter
The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“A”
Wordle Hint Today Third Letter
The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“R”
Wordle Hint Today Second Letter
The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“C”
Wordle Hint Today First Letter
The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:
“S”
Today’s Wordle Answer
And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.
Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.
That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 462 days straight! So here goes nothing:
Sunday was the biggest, most spectacular, and most important event of the year. It was an event of epic proportions in which two teams composed of the most elite competitors faced off against one another to determine who was the very best. There was the defending champion team who had won the previous two years in a row going up against the only team good enough to possibly dethrone them. It was the clash of the titans.
I am of course talking about the Puppy Bowl.
Over 100 puppies from shelters across the United States formed two teams to compete in the 20th Puppy Bowl. While there was only one victorious team — GO TEAM RUFF — every single puppy athlete was a winner just for being them. I love them all and here’s my ranking of all the Puppy Bowl athletes based on just how much I love them.
#1: Bark Purdy
Hailing from the Sacramento SPCA in Sacramento, California Bark Purdy not only wins hearts but unlike his namesake can win the big game as Team Fluff was victorious in this year’s Puppy Bowl.
#1: Cronut
#1: CronutComing from the Shar-Pei Rescue of Virginia in Chesapeake, Virginia, Cronut is just as likely to ask you to work overtime filling out expense reports as he is to ask you to work overtime giving him belly rubs.
#1: Stryker
Stryker comes from Green Dogs Unleashed in Troy, Virginia. He has a fairly busy schedule but assures you that he’ll collie you back as soon as he gets the chance.
#1: Harvey
Coming to us from Pug Nation LA in Gardena, California. Harvey was this year’s recipient of the Underdog Award for his attempts to help his team despite his penchant for napping on the field. Some may say that cost them the game but those people are wrong. Harvey is an inspiration to nappers everywhere.
#1: Vanessa
Hailing from Brandywine Valley SPCA in West Chester, Pennsylvania, Vanessa is a dog who knows what she wants, and what she wants is your heart. Vanessa always gets what she wants.
#1: Francine
From Rescue Dogs Rock in NYC comes Francine. She’s an absolute star. When she’s not scoring touchdowns she’s avoiding the puparazzi trying to disturb her walkies.
#1: Guy Fureri
Hailing from One Tail at A Time in Chicago, IL Guy Fureri is on a mission to conquer Flavortown, USA which coincidentally happens to be anywhere that food may be.
#1: Moosh
This year’s Puppy Bowl MVP comes from Green Dogs Unleashed in Troy, Virginia. Everybody wants to be Moosh’s best friend but more importantly, Moosh wants to be everyone’s best friend.
#1: Beignet
Coming to us from Take Paws Rescue in New Orleans, Louisiana Beignet is a little weiner with big dreams but he knows that anything is pawssible when you put your snoot to it.
#1: Mr. Bean
From the Barky Pines Animal Rescue and Sanctuary in West Palm Beach, Florida comes Mr. Bean. He was born without front legs but that’s just made his back legs stronger. There’s nothing that’s gonna bring Mr. Bean down.
#1: Lady Luck
Lady Luck comes from the Nevada SPCA in Las Vegas, Nevada. Luck may follow her everywhere but we’re the lucky ones for getting to witness her cuteness.
#1: Linus
Hailing from The Ronnie Stanley Foundation in Baltimore, Maryland. Linus won’t be giving you tech tips anytime soon but he will be bringing his blanket with him everywhere he goes while on the hunt for snuggles.
#1: Patrick Mabones
Coming from AHeinz57 Pet Rescue group in De Soto, Iowa, Patrick Mabones is a natural quarterback just like his namesake. Unlike his namesake, he won’t be upstaged by his teammate who’s dating Taylor Sniffed.
#1: Sonny
Hailing from Best Friends Animal Society in New York, NY is Sonny. He is guaranteed to be a ray of sunshine everywhere he goes. Sonny refuses to allow any of his friends to have a ruff day.
#1: Fred
Coming from the Helen Woodward Animal Center in Rancho Santa Fe, California, Fred would love nothing more than to curl on your lap and watch The Muttrix. Haters will say he’s not part teddy bear but with Maurey Povich no longer around doing DNA tests, it can’t be proven that he isn’t.
#1: Levi
Levi hails from Green Dogs Unleashed in Troy, Virginia. He is the largest pup ever to be in Puppy Bowl and that’s because it’s hard to fit so much majesty in one dog.
#1: Wilson
Wilson is the only companion you’d ever want while stranded on an island.
#1: Agatha
Who’s responsible for all these melted hearts? It was her all along.
#1: Sweetpea
At just 1.7 pounds Sweetpea is the smallest dog to ever compete in the Puppy Bowl. Unfortunately, she passed away shortly after competing due to health complications. While I’m not religious I would like to take this opportunity to offer myself to God in exchange for bringing back Sweetpea.
#1: Angus
Angus likes big mutts and he cannot lie.
#1: Hana
Hana’s ears are perked up and ready to hear you say how cute she is.
#1: Niner
Niner is named after how much I would rate his cuteness on a scale of 5.
#1: Shadow
Not will this Shadow have no trouble finding that fourth Chaos Emerald, but there will be so much extra time left for cuddles.
#1: Dash
I’ll be dashing over to hug him.
#1: Anza
Anza is the latest cover model of Vanity Fur.
#1: Apollo
Apollo is going to the moon because it’s made of cheese. That’s dangerous though so I’ll gladly go instead and I’ll bring Apollo all the cheese.
#1: Archie
Archie looks quite fetching today and every day.
#1: Arthur
Every day when you’re walking down the street and everybody that you meet has an original point of view. And I say hey, what a wonderful kind of day where I get to see Arthur.
#1: Athena
Athena is the Greek Goddess of wisdom and I’m pawsitive that Athena the dog is the Canine Goddess of Cuddles.
#1: Bailey
Bailey is my new best friend. Sorry, Jonah.
#1: Beemo
Somebody call G Cute Magazine because their next cover model has been found.
#1: Sadie
I don’t speak dog but if I did I would tell Sadie that her smile parted the sea of despair in my soul.
#1: Sasha
She’s the legit PAWSS.
#1: Sherlock
Sherlock Bones and the Case of the Missing Treats.
#1: Sierra
I have many things on my bucket list and all of them are petting this floof.
#1: Skipper
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a nose boop mark.
#1: Small Ed
Small Ed is proof that size doesn’t matter.
#1: Snack Prescott
Snack Prescott wants a snack and I’m not gonna say no to that face.
#1: Tater
Tater is an appropriate name because I can’t get enough.
#1: Taylor
This fearless dog has a reputation for being a lover of treats and will speak now just to get one. I want to give her belly rubs evermore and cuddle her all midnights.
#1: Theodore
I will attend all of Theodore’s TED Walks.
#1: Thomas
Thomas I will die for you.
#1: Tornado
Call me Helen Hunt because all I want to do is follow Tornado around.
#1: Vasco
No officer, Vasco did not steal my heart, I gave it him, he can have it.
#1: Vega
Vega looks like he’s disappointed that the scritches only lasted 6 hours. Don’t worry buddy, more are coming.
#1: Dee Dee
Dee Dee deserves many rides in a Furrari.
#1: Dallas
I don’t look good in a skirt but I’ll be a cheerleader for Dallas whenever he wants.
#1: Cosmo
Cosmo can take whatever he wants out of my fridge.
#1: Corndog
Bone Appetit!
#1: Cookie
Look to the Cookie!
#1: Coby
Coby just has one question. Howl you doin’?
#1: Chili
The best dog is a chili dog.
#1: Chester
He has the corg key to my heart.
#1: Cherry
I’m mutts about you Cherry.
#1: Charlotte
She is the Queen.
#1: Captain Chaos
Captain Chaos wants you to join the bark side.
#1: Bob Barker
The price of toys and treats is always right when they’re for Bob.
#1: Blake
Where the pawty at? Wherever Blake is.
#1: Biscuit
Biscuit is indeed a snack,
#1: Big Man
Whatever Big Man says is law, whatever Big Man wants must be done.
#1: Betty
Betty is a real diamond in the ruff.
#1: Zeke
FLOOF!
#1: Xinia
Xinia may just have hypnotic pawers because I’m extraordinary compelled to do nothing but give Xinia belly rubs.
#1: Willie
Me and Willie are going to go on a road trip and when it’s over I’m immediately taking him on the road again.
#1: Bertie
Bertie loves watching Mutt Damon movies and wants you to know she does like them apples.
#1: Vince
Okay Vince, here’s another treat, I’m sorry I almost stopped at 7.
#1: Mr. Miraculous
Mr. Miraculous is named such because it must be a miracle that any creature can be this adorable.
#1: Moe
Moe doesn’t just want to Seymour Butts but he wants to sniff them too.
#1: Miro
Miro’s smile could have defeated the darkness and gotten Alan Wake out of the dark place.
#1: Mimi
Mimi demands attention 24/7 and I’m not gonna turn her down.
#1: Melody
Melody was composed using only the good notes.
#1: Maggie
If Maggie was ever mad at me I would stand by the doghouse with a boombox to win her back.
Keep reading on the next page by clicking the “2” button below!
Greetings and salutations gamers! It recently came to our attention that many of you were not reading the wonderful articles on our gaming website. After much discussion we realized what the problem was: You’re gamers and our articles were not designed with your capabilities in mind. All of our articles were mistakenly written in white font, and as such you simply couldn’t figure out that you should read them.
Well, fear not because as you’re already aware, the whole site is now written in yellow text, pointing you in the right direction and allowing you the ability to read everything. We apologize we did not make this move sooner. You’ll never struggle to progress through a Hard Drive article again. You’re welcome.
Imagine the scene – you and your girlfriend are visiting her heavily MAGA family. You have just avoided speaking about politics at the dinner table like the politically passive little goose that you are, and you both sneak off to a room in their house that conveniently has every game console in history within it.
But oh no – the room has already been occupied by her large Dad! He still looks mad from breakfast time when he called Taylor Swift, the world’s first empath billionaire,“a friggin commie” and your girlfriend threw an egg at him. You can tell the argument is about to occur again. Quick, you need to find a game that can make them both forget their differences and instead give you a big wet kiss on the lips! Here’s 5 games that can do that!
Microsoft Flight Simulator
Planes – they have the power to bring families together (as long as it’s not a family of polar bears). Dads go crazy for this kind of simulator, so give your potential father in law the controls and watch a man who could tear you in half realize a childhood dream. The genius of this plan? He will almost certainly get bored and land the plane after 15 minutes of flying, thrilling your girlfriend as it will be like she just lived the life of Taylor Swift.
Madden NFL 24
The one common ground shared by Republicans and Taylor Swift is a love of watching Football. That, and buying overpriced merchandise in support of a blonde messiah figure. And the genre of country music. And, in probably millions of cases, Taylor Swift. And –
The point is that there is an actual common interest that all of you could bond over! Just don’t pick the Kansas City Chiefs, or else you’ll kickstart the argument you’re so desperately trying to prevent.
Band Hero
Taylor Swift was seemingly in every single music video game between 2008-2009, but afterwards did not appear in a single game until 2022. Band Hero is probably the best game featuring Swift, with 3 of her songs within a collection of Certified Dad Classics. If you only use the “random song” function you can keep telling your girlfriend “maybe the next one will be Taylor Swift”, all while knowing there’s only a 4% chance of this happening and activating her Dad’s “Secret Elite Pyramid Conspiracy“ mode.
Knack 2
As father and daughter squeeze uncomfortably up on either side of you on the rooms sole bean bag chair, you begin to wonder how different the last big winner of American consumerism and the last big winner of America’s flawed democracy are, or if, at a time where humanity has a maximum of a few years to completely overhaul most of society’s structures and prevent billions from living a lifetime of famine and droughts, the history books will be able to easily distinguish between those who use their massive influence to rot society and those who use it to hardly change it at all beyond stamping their own name all over it.
Knack 2 is the second game about “Knack” in the “Knack” franchise, and everyone will be too busy questioning what a “Knack” actually is to think about any other existential questions!
Portal 2
You may be thinking “hold on, this is famously a two player game and there’s three of us, how will this work?” Well it’s simple – sit back and let your girlfriend and her dad play. By the 6th level of increasingly difficult puzzles their arguments will have gone way beyond political grievances and into airing the shared traumas that led them to have their different views on society. You can take over playing from whoever storms out first!
FORT COLLINS, Colo. — Protective cell phone accessory company OtterBox has announced that it is ramping up production of its phone cases in anticipation of the rumored mobile port of Elden Ring.
“As soon as we heard these reports we decided to immediately get to work on increasing production of our phone cases and screen protectors,” said OtterBox Vice President Jerry Saunders. “We want to make sure that we’ll be able to meet what will no doubt be insane demand for our products. No gamer should have to worry about their phone breaking after they slam it on the ground in frustration just because we were out of stock. We’re going to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Saunders confirmed that OtterBox will include a special warranty for Elden Ring players.
“Our regular phone cases are the best in class and we’re confident they can handle whatever happens after the 10th death to Malenia. Whether you whip your phone at the wall, out the window, or hit it with a sledgehammer while playing, this case will protect your phone. Our cases are guaranteed to withstand as much gamer rage as possible, but we know Elden Ring brings out inhumane strength in many gamers’ fits of frustration. For that reason, we pledge that, should your OtterBox break while playing Elden Ring, we will provide a new one for free.”
Gamers are very excited by the news.
“I was really worried when I heard they were doing a mobile port of Elden Ring. My phone is really expensive and I just don’t trust my case to protect it from what I know I’ll do after a few deaths. My parents bought me new controllers after I broke those playing Elden Ring on console but I don’t think they’ll buy me a new phone so it’s great to hear that OtterBox has their finger on the pulse of what gamers need,” said Souls fan Martin Schrader.
At press time, OtterBox is reportedly working on designing the world’s first indestructible phone case specifically for Elden Ring players.
BROMODOSIS FOOTHILLS – Maxed out character, Brolicmfer graced his starting area with his presence and the surprise donation of a fenced-off, double-rimmed basketball court that no one really asked for, sources confirmed.
“This is where it all started for me. First mob. First piece of horrible common loot. First skipped quest dialog. I was just like them but better,” Brolicmfer said while repeatedly sheathing and unsheathing his epic mace from his epic belt on his epic mount in front of new characters, going about their journeys. “It wasn’t enough to just come back. That doesn’t do anything for them. They get a little show they’ll tell their kids one day but how does that truly help them? It’s a responsibility to share the vast knowledge I learned exploring the great beyond. Be the change you want to see.”
Sources say the basketball court has yet to see any activity other than getting a satanic ritual involving a chicken jumpstarted at half-court.
“Why was this built?” says one unnamed source trying to level, adding the court was located between the spawn point of new characters and the mobs, forcing many to walk around it. Some have spoken out that they couldn’t even use it if they wanted to as they don’t have a concept of what a basketball actually is.
We caught up with one determined character trying to throw a rabbit through the hoop but it went in and out and they eventually gave up.
“I’m thinking of sticking around, really planting my roots. It feels good to give back and be the big bro for this starting zone. It’s easy to get lost out there, so many maxed out characters who just don’t care,” Brolicmfer said, adding he’s in the early stages of hosting and being the sole participant in a dunk contest as his next generous contribution to the community.
Off the record, Brolicmfer said he hopes he can do enough for Bromodosis Foothills that one day they’ll recognize him and consider changing their name to Brolicmfer Foothills. As of press time representatives from the starting area refused to acknowledge the idea or comment.
