Brody R Thompson, Author at Hard Drive

Divine Knockout (DKO): Complete Crossplay/Cross Platform Guide

Posted on December 14, 2022 by Parker Johnson

Divine Knockout is the latest from Hi-Rez Studios, the publisher behind titles like SMITE and Paladins. DKO is the studio’s take on the platform fighter genre, bringing it to 3D with a focus on 3v3 combat. This means the game is best with friends. Luckily, with the Divine Knockout crossplay system, you can play with your friends, regardless of platform.

Is Divine Knockout (DKO) Crossplay?

Like most modern cross-platform games, DKO relies on its company’s own online system to set players up with an account on their own system. Crossplay will be automatically enabled.

To play with friends is a bit more involved, though. In the top right corner of your screen, click on the person-looking icon on the top right of your screen. On controller, you’ll press your controller’s menu button to access this menu. Then, enter your friend’s name. By default, the game will use your platform of choice’s username. If you’re unsure, you can look at the username above the character’s head on the main menu. After that, you should see your friend on the in-game friends list, and be able to utilize Divine Knockout crossplay!

Does Divine Knockout Have Cross Progression?

You can enable cross-progression across PC, PlayStation, & Xbox in Divine Knockout. Using this, you can keep your progress if you play on different platforms. This is also the way to claim the game’s Twitch drops.

To link your accounts for Divine Knockout, you’ll need to use the official website. On this website, you can link your game accounts on Steam, Epic Games, Xbox, & PlayStation. You can also link these accounts with your Twitch or Amazon account to claim drops from watching DKO live streams.

One thing to keep in mind is that purchases of the game’s Founder’s Edition won’t transfer to other platforms. For example, if you claim the DKO Founder’s Edition for free in December’s PlayStation Plus, you will still need to purchase Divine Knockout on other platforms to play.

That’s everything you need to know about Divine Knockout crossplay! Enjoy playing as the gods in this new & innovative genre mashup.

Elon Musk Adds Edit Button to Twitter Employee Contracts

Posted on December 14, 2022 by Max Barth

SAN FRANCISCO — Shortly after stopping all rent payments on Twitter’s office space, Elon Musk has reportedly greenlit a new “Edit” button which will allow the CEO to change legal agreements with employees after they’ve been made.

“The edit button is a brilliant new idea that our naturally hirsute CEO, Elon Musk – who isn’t me – thought of one day all by himself in his giant genius brain, like he did with electric cars and tunnels,” said an anonymous high-level executive at Twitter. “By allowing Mr. Musk to fix any inconvenient parts of his employment contracts, the new edit button will help ensure the viability of such costly things as benefits, work-from-home arrangements, and whether or not employees are allowed to write mean things about me in public. I mean, things about Mr. Musk.”

Sonja Clark, a senior engineer with over a decade of experience at Twitter, was the first employee to experience firsthand the effects of the editing feature.

“Shortly after the edit button was made operational, I was fired via email because I refused to commute five hours to the office, as my contract suddenly required. So I left. I guess they changed their minds pretty quickly, because Elon called me thirty seconds later and demanded I fly to California to ‘figure all the wires out’ in his office,” said Clark, scrolling through the lengthy edit history of her employment contract. “He said he’d undo the changes, but that I needed to ‘level up my hardcoreness [sic]’ to stay at the company. After consulting a lawyer, I advised Elon that he needed to eat my entire ass. You can guess how that went over. I’m currently looking for positions with other employers, though I do hold out hope that Elon will in fact do the right thing in the end and eat my entire ass.”

Twitter users and tech market watchers were generally divided over the announcement, though the site’s algorithms appeared to favor posts which praised it.

“Based Elon has finally made comedy legal again! Buy EL0N C1ONz now:” replied user Crypt0Eagle420 under a news story about the edit button, then shared a link to a cryptocurrency phishing scam.

At press time, Elon Musk had delayed the edit button until he could find someone who knew how to use it.

Pokemon Scarlet & Violet: Where to Find the Amulet Coin

Posted on December 14, 2022 by Parker Johnson

Pokemon Scarlet & Violet has a few items that will be very helpful for grinding, including the Amulet Coin. The Amulet Coin is an item that will allow you to earn more money from trainer battles. This way, when you’re shopping for other important items, you can start to spend with reckless abandon, knowing that your Amulet Coin will help you make back your money quickly.

Unlike other games, though, this helpful item isn’t found directly in the overworld. In Pokemon Scarlet & Violet, you’ll have to do a bit more digging to find the Amulet Coin.

Amulet Coin Location – Pokemon Scarlet & Violet

Where to get the Amulet Coin in Pokemon Scarlet & Violet.

As mentioned previously, the Amulet Coin can’t be found directly in the overworld. To find the Amulet Coin, you’ll need to talk to one of the Pokemon League representatives. Specifically, you’ll want to head to the Medali (East) Pokemon Center. The Pokemon League representative will tell you that you need to beat five trainers in Area Three of the West Province. This will be the area to the east of the Pokemon Center. Use this opportunity to explore this area to find new Pokemon while you find trainers to beat!

Once you’ve beaten five trainers, return to the Pokemon League representative to claim your prize. He’ll give you the Amulet Coin as a prize for showing your battle prowess. Now, it’s time to equip your newfound booster.

How to Use the Amulet Coin in Pokemon Scarlet & Violet

To use this item, navigate over to the “Other Items” tab in your bag. By default, it’ll be sorted near other held items. Then, give it to one of your Pokemon. Make sure it’s a Pokemon that you’re actively using! The Amulet Coin boost to prize money is only in effect if the Pokemon holding the Amulet Coin enters the battle.

Use this new helpful item to make the most out of your trainer battles in the Paldea region! Whether you’re just starting your journey or entering your hundredth hour, this item is sure to be incredibly useful. Looking to breed powerful Pokemon for the endgame? Find out where to get the Destiny Knot in Pokemon Scarlet & Violet as well!

High on Life Jetpack Guide: Where to Get the Jetpack

Posted on December 14, 2022 by Brendan Bell

High on Life puts you into the shoes a of high school graduate who becomes the Earth’s one chance at survival, using gear like talking guns & even a jetpack to fight aliens. During this quest to save the Earth, you’ll encounter many odd characters and talking weapons as you become a bounty hunter in space. One of the best pieces of equipment to find in the game is the jetpack. In this guide, you’ll learn how to get your hands on the useful item.

Where is the Jetpack in High on Life?

The Jetpack can be obtained by visiting the pawn shop. You just need enough money to buy it. The process of finding the jetpack in High on Life starts with defeating two bounty targets, Douglas and Kubris. Completing these bounties will trigger dialogue from Gene telling you to get a jetpack. You’ll then want to head to the pawn shop and purchase the jetpack reservation ticket. That’s right, you buy a reservation ticket as opposed to outright buying it and equipping it.

After buying the reservation ticket, you’re going to want to head back to your room at home and sleep after talking to Gene about the status of your jetpack. After this sleep, you’ll eventually wake up on the roof equipped with your newly purchased jetpack. Take it out for a test ride & see how it works! However, you’ll want to be a bit careful of a known glitch.

High on Life: The Jetpack Glitch & How to Avoid it

One thing that players should be aware of is a known game-breaking bug involving the jetpack in High on Life. Once a player gets the jetpack, it’s possible for them to get stuck in their room if they fall off the roof while initially using the jetpack. This glitch traps players in their room and prevents them from getting back to the roof. To avoid the glitch, it’s best that you don’t fall of the roof of the house while using the jetpack.

Dragon Quest Treasures: How to Use Treasure Maps

Posted on December 14, 2022 by Eddie De Santiago

As the name Dragon Quest Treasures might imply, treasure hunting is a major facet of gameplay, and treasure maps are a pretty important part of the process. Treasure maps can lead you to great danger and even greater riches. You’ll come across numerous maps as you play, but using them is another story, which is where we can help. Here’s how to use treasure maps in Dragon Quest Treasures.

Dragon Quest Treasures: Where to Find Treasure Maps

To use a treasure map, you’ll first need to find one! Luckily, you don’t have to go out of your way to find maps. Defeating monsters can result in a dropped map, but you can also earn one from your expeditions!

Though they might be easy to forget, it’s important to check on your side parties, because in addition to maps, they can find medals, materials, and even valuable treasure. Check in with Mr. Muddimer when your expeditions return for a chance to get a treasure map. Eventually, you will find yourself in possession of at least one map, and your treasure hunt can get underway!

How to Use Treasure Maps

Now that you have the map, you may be searching your inventory for it. But, it is conveniently added to your Quests tab immediately, with its own category! Set it as your active quest and you’ll be shown which island you need to set out for.

Make sure you bring a tough party because, unlike other more traditional maps, these maps do not lead directly to treasure. Your destination will actually lead to a teleportal that you can hop into when you’re ready. Once inside you’ll come face to face with several rooms of enemies, separated by teleportals.

Occasionally you’ll find a room just for healing, but, most importantly, the portal before the boss room will give you an extra warning, so you can make sure your party is healed and ready to go. Once the boss is defeated you’ll be rated based on time, so be sure not to waste time, because your rating appears to influence how much gold and treasure you receive.

Your treasures are added to your party’s held treasures, so be sure not to fill up on treasure and bric-a-brac on the way to the portal. Also, unlike rival gang quests, there is no time limit on Treasure Map quests so take your time getting ready if you feel like it will be too tough. One way to help ease Treasure Map quests’ difficulty is to recruit tougher monsters, and we can help with that too.

Kid Claims Uncle Who Works at Nintendo Told Him Cafeteria Has the Good Fish Sticks Again

Posted on December 13, 2022 by Tim Graham

REDMOND, Wash. — The cafeteria at Nintendo of America’s headquarters is once more serving “the good fish sticks,” according to twelve year old Matty DeSoto, who claimed to have gotten the exclusive news from his uncle.

“My friends always think I’m lying when I tell them my uncle works at Nintendo, but it’s true,” said Desoto while playing Kirby on his Switch to take his mind off of the stress of being distrusted by his friends. “Uncle Theo said they used to have the good fish sticks, and then they changed suppliers. But now they’re back — he thinks they might even be Gorton’s. He says the tartar sauce is really good, too. Fish Stick Friday is a pretty big deal over there, so everyone’s really excited. It might not always be exclusive news on unannounced games, but he tells me insider stuff all the time. How else would I know that they play Zelda music in the bathrooms, or that they just upgraded their whole HVAC system?”

Matty’s uncle, Theo DeSoto, confirmed that he is indeed an employee of Nintendo, and that he does occasionally divulge some privileged information to his young nephew.

“It’s true, I do work at Nintendo,” said Theo Desoto by phone over the noise of a floor buffer. “But, okay, so I’m a maintenance engineer. So what? I’m still right in the thick of it. I’m privy to all kinds of information. For instance, did you know that the executives have fancy, expensive toilet paper flown in from Japan? Recently, I told Matty about the elevators that make a Mario coin sound when you get to your floor. Oh, and here’s some gaming news: I overheard that the next Super Smash Bros. game is going to feature even more beloved Nintendo characters. How about that for a scoop?”

Robyn Corr, Nintendo of America’s Senior Vice President of Human Resources, said that having an uncle with a normal job at Nintendo can be challenging for kids such as Matty.

“It can be really tough for kids that have an uncle who actually works at Nintendo, but has what might be considered an unexciting job. Other kids don’t want to hear about what temperature they keep the offices at, or what brand of floor polish they use. They want to know about new features of Breath of the Wild 2, or when Metroid Prime 4 is coming out. We employ many, many uncles here, and not all of them get to have cool jobs. The thing that kids don’t understand is that someone’s got to do all the banal tasks that keep a multinational corporation running, like sorting mail, cleaning the bathrooms and polishing the many Miyamoto statues.”

As of press time, Theo DeSoto had texted his nephew that the cafeteria made a special gluten-free Kirby birthday cake for someone in the Accounts Payable department who has celiac disease.

YouTuber Tanks Own Channel So He Can Do Video Essay About the Rise and Fall of It

Posted on December 13, 2022 by Kevin Podas

RALEIGH, N.C. — In a self-defeating effort to generate more content, YouTuber Toaster Tim completely squandered what remaining potential his channel may have had in order to produce a video essay detailing the rise and fall of his very own career.

“I just ran out of things to talk about the rise and fall of,” said Toaster Tim. “Teletubbies, Twinkies, teen movies, you name it, I covered it. Eventually, there was no new material for me to cover and I had to turn the gun on myself. The gun being my snarky brand of cultural commentary, that is.”

In order to give a clean arc to his self-critiquing video, Toaster Tim had also begun posting subpar videos with more and more strained topics which commenters described as completely different from the content his fanbase had come to know and love over the years.

“Does anyone else think these videos have been a little weird lately?” commented ToastArmy99 on one of Tim’s recent uploads. “I know Tim has been on YouTube for over 9 years now, but ‘January 6th Themed Mukbang,’ ‘Tour of the Inside of my Pocket,’ and ‘Jared Fogle Interview From Prison’ feel a little off-brand for him.”

Fans’ confusion had somewhat abated over time, once it was revealed that Tim was simply trying to destroy his own career and future for a single video essay about his own downfall.

“‘The Rise and Fall of Toaster Tim’ is Toaster Tim’s magnum opus,” commented TimStan46 on r/ToasterTim. “It was crazy to see how he came to prominence, established a loyal fanbase, and then completely ruined his career on purpose. It sucks for him that his career is essentially over now, but at least we got a final solid 46 minutes of entertainment out of it.”

At press time, Toaster Tim announced that he will be pivoting to radical political content.

Guy in Comment Section Appointed to Head of Sony

Posted on December 13, 2022 by Kyle Erf

NEW YORK — An opinionated gamer with a habit of letting the world know what he would do if he was in charge for a while has been appointed to the top position within Sony, shocked sources have confirmed.

“Jesus Christ, I thought I was in line, or at least would be considered after all of my time with the company,” said Rod Haverstatt, a longtime Sony executive. “So imagine my surprise when someone named Cock_Licker_520 became my new boss yesterday? And look, it’s not about whether or not they lick cocks, I really don’t care about that sort of thing. But they are grossly underqualified! He wrote an email to all of our programmers telling them to make their shit less whack or they can start sleeping under their desks. How is that being a leader?”

Despite the controversial hiring, many have applauded the corporation for their atypical approach to filling the high profile job opening.

“Sure it’s weird to hire an angry kid off the internet to steer your giant company,” said Leslie McGown, a local gamer. “But it’s also pretty weird to just promote the next in a long line of dumb ass executives like every other corporation seems intent on doing. What’s the worst that could happen if an outsider comes in and tries some shit? Plus he’s promised to make PS+ less ‘gay,’ so I’m very interested in seeing what sort of plans he has for the service’s future.”

Cock_Licker_520 couldn’t believe his good fortune.

“I can’t believe those [people at Sony] hired me because of the shit I was talking in the YouTube comments of the Dead Island 2 trailer,” said the young CEO. “We’ve had some good meetings so far and I got them all working on PlayStation 6 and 7 at the same time so we don’t have to wait that long anymore. And also, get ready for a lot more Call of Duty games. A whole hell of a lot.”

As of press time, Sony had fired it’s senior vice president and appointed Cock_Licker_520’s older brother who has his driver’s license to the role.

Hard Drive Reviews: POKEMON SCARLET AND VIOLET

Posted on December 13, 2022 by Brad Waters

Pokemon Scarlet and Violet; buggy, glitch-ridden meme fiestas in video game form. But what lies beneath this single-textured, oatmeal-looking surface? Are these games actually good? Are they actually bad? What kinda kinky stuff is Fudj into?

Find out all this and more, with the Hard Drive Review, of POKEMON SCARLET AND VIOLET

Hard Drive Reviews is a review series in which we are attempting to review a game whilst also never once using the words “good”, “bad”, or any of either words’ countless synonyms. Should we make such a catastrophic mistake, a lifetime of shame shall befall our families and our children shall be cursed.

“Worst,” “worse,” “better,” and other terms are relative terms by the way! And do not mean “good” or “bad” on their own and are thus fair game. Words with good or bad connotations do not equal words that mean good or bad.

How to Cope With the Tragic Knowledge You’ll Never Taste The Pizza From ‘A Goofy Movie’

Posted on December 13, 2022 by Jus Kaplan

There probably aren’t many things you remember from the 1995 animated Disney flick A Goofy Movie, but there’s one part you can still picture crystal-clear from this whimsical tale of father-son hijinks: the pizza scene.

You know what I’m talking about. The five-second clip where Max’s friend P.J. picks up a slice of za so deliciously ooey-gooey that the melty cheese drips down his gloved cartoon paw. I bet you can still visualize him grabbing that stringy goodness and plopping it right back on top of the pizza as he prepares to take a decadent bite.

You’re salivating at the very thought of it, aren’t you?

Tragically, you’ll never, ever taste this perfect pie.

But don’t let this undeniably depressing knowledge get you too down! Here are some ways to cope and take your mind off the imaginary manna that satiated that lucky supporting character (but never you):

Buy yourself a slice of your favorite pizza.

Obviously, if you can’t experience the ultimate animated indulgence for real, you should experience the next best thing. Buy a thin crust slice of pepperoni pizza from your favorite local joint, extra cheese, and dig in while it’s piping hot. If you film yourself doing it and then put a cartoon filter on, it’s like you’re almost tasting A Goofy Movie pizza! Almost.

Go on a silly whirlwind of an adventure with the father figure in your life.

While the unctuous pizza is 100% the most memorable part of the film, A Goofy Movie also had thematic elements and plot completely unrelated to cartoon mozzarella. For one, Max and his dad totally bonded as they road-tripped to Los Angeles (or wherever the hell they went). It seemed to have helped them forget about that scrumptious snack that you can’t seem to get out of your mind after 27+ years, so maybe it could help you, too?

You can’t.

Most likely, you will not be able to cope with the tragic knowledge that you’ll never taste the pizza from A Goofy Movie. That’s life, buddy. Sorry you had to find out here. There’s support groups you can join, therapy you can practice, and mind-altering drugs you can take, but nothing will ever quite feel as good as that pizza must taste. Your life will never quite be the same now that you’ve seen the cartoon. Whoops!

Rewatch the fateful pizza scene over and over and over.

If you’ve tried the three steps above and still can’t stop thinking about the void left in your soul by the nostalgic noms you’ll never taste, this one should do the trick. Basically, you just give in and watch the pizza scene on repeat for three days straight without sleeping. This will either 1) make that pizza and your mortal existence lose all meaning to you or 2) cause you to snap and end up in a facility that does not allow you access to A Goofy Movie. If you’re desperate, it might be worth a shot.