Man Building His Own PC Installs Silent Cooling Fan That Allows Him to Never Shut Up About It

FRESNO, Calif. — Local gamer Dan Maldonado broke down the composition of the new PC he’s building, mentioning that he’s planning on adding a silent cooling fan that will allow him to never shut up about it.

“It’s extremely rewarding to finally be building my own rig. How am I expected to fully engage with the next generation of AAA open world RPGs with a graphics card that can only rock 768 shaders? It’s like trying to run Ragnarök on a microwave,” said Maldonado while sipping Celcius from a HydroFlask covered in stickers of Arthur Morgan smoking weed. “But above everything, I’m incredibly hyped for this silent cooling fan. Playing CyberPunk on max settings is cool, but I’ve always dreamt of a computer powerful enough to let me loudly talk about it for the rest of my life!”

Since he started the process of building his own gaming PC, many close to Maldonado have expressed dissatisfaction with his nearly constant chatter about it.

“Jesus, the whole thing has been going on for like, a year at this point. At first, he’s just sending me TechRadar articles, ‘The Best CPUs of 2022’ or whatever, but now he’s holding up our D&D group for twenty-five minutes every single session, going on and on about he feels something akin to ‘horny’ about how hard he’ll be maximizing his refresh rate,” said Harris Anderson, a longtime friend of Maldonado. “We used to hop on Discord and just have a laugh, but now he basically just brags whenever we talk, saying shit like ‘Stardew Valley is gonna look like Barry fucking Lyndon.’ It’s unbelievably annoying.”

The CEO of Noctua, the Austrian computer hardware company that designed this high-powered fan, spoke about the product at a press conference in Vienna last week.

“The requests for a more formidable design were pouring in, emails around the clock,” said CEO Leopold Speck, “PC gamers from every corner of the globe have been complaining to us that the fans on their PCs are so damn loud that they can’t get their voices heard to all the people in their lives who need to hear about the PC they built. As this is our primary audience, we knew we needed to solve this issue. Despite the oversized PC towers and the booming fans, we see you and we hear you. From now on, men who build PCs will finally be heard, thanks to our extremely silent cooling fans.”

At press time, however, Maldonado was unfortunately unable to find someone to brag about his new rig after permanently blinding himself with the brightest RGB lights known to man.

All the Pros and Cons of the SAG-AFTRA and WGA Strikes

While Hard Drive is 100% pro-strike and supports both SAG and the WGA, we are willing to admit there are both positives and negatives to the actors withholding their labor until they can negotiate better terms with the Hollywood studios. With that in mind, here are some Pros and Cons of the SAG-AFTRA and WGA strikes.

PRO #1

Increased chance for Bob Iger to write, direct and play every role in Avenger’s 5

PRO #2

Movie delays give nation chance to catch up on Fargo

PRO #3

The strike will make for hilarious throwaway joke in Deadpool 3

PRO #4

Will bolster the funny little sign industry

PRO #5

Picket line great way for Meryl Streep to get her steps in

CON #1

No written language is allowed until strike is resolved

CON #2

The only people wearing deodorant are removed from Comic-Con

CON #3

The world’s beautiful people were never meant to suffer

CON #4

No TV and movies may force you to actually talk to friends and family

CON #5

Not enough sign-ups for Warner Bros. employee softball team

CON #6

Removes only excuse for eating popcorn in a dark room

CON #7

Could set dangerous precedent of employees getting any basic human right they want

CON #8

Only seven Kevin Hart movies releasing next year

CON #9

Tom Cruise’s heart may stop without constant feed of adrenaline

Madden NFL 24 Best CB Ratings Guide: The Best Cornerbacks

Curious about the best cornerbacks in Madden 24? We’ve got you covered with our guide to the best players at the CB position! Athletic players who are primed to make great defensive plays, cornerbacks are some of the most electric players in football. If you want to see if your favorite CB to watch is one of the best in this year’s Madden, or if you want to see which cornerbacks to try and add to your squad, read on!

Madden 24 Best Cornerbacks

On release day, here are the best cornerbacks in Madden 24.

  1. Jalen Ramsey (Miami Dolphins, 97)
  2. Jaire Alexander (Green Bay Packers, 95)
  3. Patrick Surtain II (Denver Broncos, 94)
  4. Marlon Humphrey (Baltimore Ravens, 93)
  5. Sauce Gardner (New York Jets, 93)
  6. Darius Slay Jr. (Philadelphia Eagles, 92)
  7. Stephon Gilmore (Dallas Cowboys, 91)
  8. Marshon Lattimore (New Orleans Saints, 90)
  9. Tre’davious White (Buffalo Bills, 90)
  10. Denzel Ward (Cleveland Browns, 88)

Compared to some other positions like punters, cornerbacks have pretty high overalls across the board. No members in the 99 club at this position, but Jalen Ramsey gets pretty close with his 97 overall. If you’re looking for a cornerback to join your franchise team, it’s a good idea to look closer at these CB’s stats to get an idea of who fits in your system better. If some corners on your team are a bit slower, consider picking up the fastest of these top 10 players when possible!

That’s all you need to know about the best cornerbacks in Madden 24! Now that you know the best CBs for yourself, it’s time to take the field. Or, alternatively, check out some of our guides for the best players at every position in the latest Madden!

Madden NFL 24 Best RB Ratings Guide: Best Running Backs

Want to outrun your opponents with the best running backs in Madden NFL 24? We have your back with our guide to the best RBs in Madden 24! Having speed on your side is always a positive, especially in short-yardage situations. Utilize these players to craft a team with loads of playcalling potential.

Madden NFL 24 Best Running Backs

Ranked with their team and overall rating, these are the best RBs in the newest Madden game:

  1. Nick Chubb (Cleveland Browns, 97)
  2. Christian McCaffrey (San Francisco 49ers, 96)
  3. Josh Jacobs (Las Vegas Raiders, 95)
  4. Derrick Henry (Tennessee Titans, 94)
  5. Saquon Barkley (New York Giants, 93)
  6. Austin Ekeler (Los Angeles Chargers, 89)
  7. Jonathan Taylor (Indianapolis Colts, 89)
  8. Aaron Jones (Green Bay Packers, 88)
  9. Tony Pollard (Dallas Cowboys, 88)
  10. Joe Mixon (Cincinnati Bengals, 87)

When you’re building your dream team, it’s not inherently necessary to pick the running back with the best available overall. Take a look at the player’s deeper stats to get a good feel for what might fit better in your team’s system. Maybe you’d like a player with better strength over speed, to break tackles more effectively. Either way, though, using one of these top 10 RBs will be your best path to victory.

That’s all you need to know about Madden NFL 24‘s best running backs. Use these players if you want to have the best shot of running up the score on your opponents. For more of the best players in the new Madden, check out the rest of our guides to the best players by position.

Madden NFL 24 Best WR Ratings Guide: Best Wide Receivers

If you want to form a truly elite team in Madden NFL 24, the best wide receivers will be key components on your roster. If you want to make explosive plays, great receivers are a must for your franchise. Luckily, with our guide, you’ll quickly find out the best of the best! Here are the best WRs in Madden 24, the latest in the popular EA Sports series.

Madden NFL 24 Best Wide Receivers

At launch, the best wide receiver is Justin Jefferson, boasting a 99 overall. Listed with their original teams and overall ratings, here are the ten best WRs in Madden 24 at launch:

  1. Justin Jefferson (Minnesota Vikings, 99)
  2. Tyreek Hill (Miami Dolphins, 98)
  3. Davante Adams (Las Vegas Raiders, 97)
  4. Cooper Kupp (Los Angeles Rams, 96)
  5. Stefon Diggs (Buffalo Bills, 96)
  6. Ja’Marr Chase (Cincinnati Bengals, 94)
  7. Terry McLaurin (Washington Commanders, 92)
  8. A.J. Brown (Philadelphia Eagles, 91)
  9. Amari Cooper (Cleveland Browns, 91)
  10. CeeDee Lamb (Dallas Cowboys, 90)

It’s important to note that there are other factors to consider beyond overall rating. Look at deeper stats to think of what available receivers are best for you. For example, if you have a quarterback with a large throw power stat, getting receivers with high speed could be very beneficial.

That’s all you need to know about the best wide receivers in Madden 24! These players can help you capitalize on the best quarterbacks in the game to make some deadly connections and get serious yardage for your team. If you want to beef up the rest of your squad, check out our other lists of the best players in the latest Madden.

Madden NFL 24 Best QB Ratings Guide: The Best Quarterbacks

Looking to use the best quarterbacks in Madden NFL 24? We’ve got you covered with our guide to the best QBs in Madden 24. Whether you’re looking for an elite passer or a swift scrambler, our list will help you pick the top prospect for your franchise. Here are the top 10 QBs in Madden 24, ranked by their overall rating at launch. While these ratings are subject to change throughout the ups and downs of the season, it is incredibly likely that these 10 will be elite throughout the game’s lifetime.

Madden NFL 24 Best Quarterbacks

  1. Patrick Mahomes (Kansas City Chiefs, 99)
  2. Joe Burrow (Cincinnati Bengals, 95)
  3. Josh Allen (Buffalo Bills, 94)
  4. Lamar Jackson (Baltimore Ravens, 91)
  5. Jalen Hurts (Philadelphia Eagles, 88)
  6. Dak Prescott (Dallas Cowboys, 87)
  7. Justin Herbert (Los Angeles Chargers, 87)
  8. Aaron Rodgers (New York Jets, 86)
  9. Kirk Cousins (Minnesota Vikings, 84) 
  10. Tua Tagovailoa (Miami Dolphins, 83)

It’s important to note that the best QB in Madden 24 by overall may not necessarily be the best for you. Some quarterbacks might be better than others for your team, even if the overall is lower. For example, if you have an emphasis on scramble plays for your team, Lamar Jackson’s 96 Speed runs circles around Patrick Mahomes’ Speed stat number of 84, despite Jackson’s overall being 8 points lower. If you’re ever unsure which player to use, take a deeper dive into their stats to see how they can complement your play style.

That’s all you need to know about the best QBs in Madden 24! Use this list to make the most of your selections if you decide to build a franchise of your own. Check out our other best player guides to find the best players at every position!

Madden NFL 24 Best TE Ratings Guide: The Best Tight Ends

Looking for the best tight ends in the upcoming Madden 24? We’ve got you covered with our guide to the best Tight Ends in the latest Madden. Whether you’re looking for a player to plan a franchise around, or if you just want to see how your favorite player weighs in in the newest game, we’ve got the 10 best TEs in the game at launch.

Madden NFL 24 Best Tight Ends

At launch, here are the top 10 players at the TE position in Madden 24, listed with their team and overall rating.

  1. Travis Kelce (Kansas City Chiefs, 99)
  2. George Kittle (San Francisco 49ers, 96)
  3. Mark Andrews (Baltimore Ravens, 95)
  4. T.J. Hockenson (Minnesota Vikings, 90)
  5. Dallas Goedert (Philadelphia Eagles, 89)
  6. Kyle Pitts (Atlanta Falcons, 87)
  7. Darren Waller (New York Giants, 86)
  8. Pat Freiermuth (Pittsburgh Steelers, 85)
  9. David Njoku (Cleveland Browns, 84)
  10. Evan Engram (Jacksonville Jaguars, 84)

It’s still important to note, though, that there are many variables that set each tight end apart from one another. For example, despite being lower on the list, Kyle Pitts of the Atlanta Falcons is the fastest Tight End in the latest Madden. Keep a close eye on your favorite players’ specific ratings at launch and choose a player that fits into your system well.

That’s the current list of the best TEs in Madden 24 at launch! Hopefully a player from your favorite team in the NFL made the cut for this top 10. While you’re here, check out our list of the other best players at every position.

Madden NFL 24 Best K Ratings Guide: The Best Kickers

Looking for the lowdown on the best kickers in Madden NFL 24? Despite the opinions of some people, kickers are often one of the unsung heroes of an NFL team. Whether you need a clutch field goal, or just want to have great starts to your possessions, having a good kicker is a great perk for a football team. Here are the best Ks in the latest entry to the Madden franchise!

Best Kickers in Madden 24

These are the top 10 kickers in Madden NFL 24 at launch:

  1. Justin Tucker (Baltimore Ravens, 91)
  2. Daniel Carlson (Las Vegas Raiders, 83)
  3. Graham Gano (New York Giants, 83)
  4. Jake Elliott (Philadelphia Eagles, 81)
  5. Jason Myers (Seattle Seahawks, 80)
  6. Matt Gay (Indianapolis Colts, 80)
  7. Youngshoe Koo (Atlanta Falcons, 80)
  8. Evan McPherson (Cincinnati Bengals, 79)
  9. Ka’imi Fairbairn (Houston Texans, 79)
  10. Matt Prater (Arizona Cardinals, 79)

As with every other position, it’s important to look into some of the deeper stats before deciding which kicker to use. With kicking, accuracy vs. power will likely be the biggest debate for players to settle. On one hand, having some extra juice on kickoff and to make that last yard or two on a field goal is a great asset. On the other, sometimes prioritizing a more accurate kick can be the saving grace for teams. Find what’s best for your playstyle!

Those are the top 10 best kickers in Madden 24 at launch! Use one of these kickers to maximize the potential of your special teams squad. If you want to build your perfect squad (or just find the rating of your favorite player), check out our other best player guides sorted by position!

Madden NFL 24 Best LB Ratings Guide: The Best Linebackers

Curious about which players are the Madden 24 best linebackers? A good linebacker is a force to be reckoned with on the football field. Legends like Brian Urlacher were famous for their ability to stop offense in the LB position. Let’s see how close this season’s players are to legend status! Check out the top 10 LBs in Madden 24, sorted by overall.

The Best Linebackers in Madden 24

  1. Fred Warner (San Francisco 49ers, 96)
  2. Maxx Crosby (Las Vegas Raiders, 94)
  3. T.J. Watt (Pittsburgh Steelers, 94)
  4. Roquan Smith (Baltimore Ravens, 92)
  5. Joey Bosa (Los Angeles Chargers, 91)
  6. Lavonte David (Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 91)
  7. Demario Davis (New Orleans Saints, 90)
  8. Haason Reddick (Philadephia Eagles, 90)
  9. Bobby Wagner (Seattle Seahawks, 89)
  10. Matthew Judon (New England Patriots, 89)

Overall ratings don’t tell the whole story, but are a pretty good baseline of where a given player falls as far as skill level. To get a better picture though, it’s worth taking a look at players’ ratings for each individual stat. If you prefer someone more agile, for instance, investing in a player with higher speed is worth sacrificing some strength, and vice versa.

That’s all you need to know about the best linebackers in Madden 24! Hopefully the linebacker from your favorite team made the top 10 at launch this year. If you’re curious about how players at the other positions fared, check out our other lists of the best players at other positions!

Madden NFL 24 Best P Ratings Guide: The Best Punters

Want to see the best punters in Madden NFL 24? Along with kickers, punters are some of the most underappreciated players in football. That is, unless you’re a fan of the Iowa Hawkeyes, where punting is winning. If you want to be winning when you punt, read on to find the best players at the P position in Madden 24.

Best Punters in Madden NFL 24

Here are the top 10 punters in the latest Madden at launch:

  1. A.J. Cole III (Las Vegas Raiders, 83)
  2. Tommy Townsend (Kansas City Chiefs, 83)
  3. Ryan Stonehouse (Tennessee Titans, 82)
  4. Johnny Hekker (Carolina Panthers, 81)
  5. Logan Cooke (Jacksonville Jaguars, 81)
  6. Bryan Anger (Dallas Cowboys, 80)
  7. Thomas Morstead (New York Jets, 79)
  8. Tress Way (Washington Commanders, 79)
  9. Blake Gillikin (New Orleans Saints, 78)
  10. Corey Bojorquez (Cleveland Browns, 78)

With many other positions, looking at some of the individual stats can tell a bigger story with what plays or systems they would excel at. However, in the case of punters, what you see is what you get for the most part. Unless you’re planning on attempting some crazy trick plays, the overall is a pretty good indicator of the player you’ll be getting.

Those are the best punters in Madden 24, the latest installment to the Madden franchise! While perhaps an overlooked part of many teams, getting a good punter can help offset some losses when you’re forced to turn the ball over. If you want to bolster your offense and defense as well, check out our other best player rankings for each position below!

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