Man Wonders If He Has to Watch Twin Peaks Season 2 in Order to Not Understand Twin Peaks Season 3

Posted on by Charles Bill

CHICAGO — A local cinema fan made waves yesterday when he publicly asked if he needs to see season 2 of Twin Peaks in order to not understand season 3.

“I don’t want to be utterly confused in the wrong way,” said cinema and coffee fan Dwight Kalpakis. “I heard that season 2 drops off in quality, and actually becomes comprehensible at some points, so I kind of want to skip it. But if I skip season 2, will I be able to not know what’s happening in season 3? I just Google every episode afterward anyway and have someone way smarter than me spoon feed me an explanation. I guess I can skip to season 3 and still have things not make sense.”

Fans of Twin Peaks were largely critical of Kalpakis’s choice to skip to season 3.

“If you don’t watch season 2, don’t be surprised when you’re not befuddled in season 3,” said Twin Peaks message board moderator Eunice Turwood. “There’s a ton of scenes of The Log Lady saying incomprehensible nonsense in season 2 that pay off with even less understandable babble in season 3. The show was meant to be watched in order. Maybe. It honestly might have been made to watch backward, I don’t really know what’s going on since I haven’t seen Fire Walk With Me yet.”

Not all Twin Peaks authorities were so upset with the viewer’s choice.

“I always intended people to not watch the show at all,” yelled director David Lynch, even though we were right there. “When I was conceiving of the show in the late 80s, I just wanted people to gather around the water cooler and hear the weirdest guy in the office recap the show. This guy skipping the second season has the right idea. Sure he misses out on Heather Graham being all foxy, that’s the only reason I even stuck around for season 2. I tried to make The Return equally accessible to fans and newcomers, which is why it’s completely unintelligible for everyone.”

At press time David Lynch announced plans for a season 4, which would take the form of a warm vapor.

Hoarders to Feature Man Who Stores Every File on His Desktop

Posted on by Brandon Talley

LOS ANGELES — The long-running docuseries/reality show Hoarders plans to feature Jerry Kruger, a man who stores every single file on his desktop, disgusted sources confirm.

Kruger states that while he doesn’t think he has a problem, he’s agreed to go on the show for the sake of his family.

“I understand that my desktop is a little messy, but I don’t see what the big deal is,” Kruger stated while pushing aside a file named “untitled36.doc.” “My wife and kids have been pleading with me to get some help, so that’s the only reason why I’ve agreed to this. But if anybody suggests something ridiculous like putting the job offer from the now defunct restaurant I worked at five years ago in a folder, there’s going to be a problem. I need constant access to that file and if I can’t see it on my desktop, I’m going to totally lose it!”

Hoarders’ producers were ecstatic to share the “shocking lows” explored in their upcoming episode.

“We believe this will be the worst episode of Hoarders ever created, which also means it’s the best episode,” stated executive producer, Lance Baker. “I’ve been working on this show since the beginning and have built up a pretty strong stomach. I’ve seen everything: people storing their feces, rats getting into the stored feces, storing rats that got into the stored feces. However, I’ve never been more disturbed than when I first saw that mess of a monitor. How can someone live like that?”

Hoarding disorder expert Jessica Slipmen worries that this form of the disorder will only continue to become more prevalent without personal vigilance.

“We are all capable of living in the filth of a disgustingly crowded desktop,” Slipmen stated. “How many pages of apps do you have on your phone? How full is your downloads folder?  How many emails do you have in your inbox? These are all warning signs. I’m pleading with anybody reading this, please get help before it’s too late.”

At press time, Kruger is reportedly using his wife’s computer and is now slowly filling her desktop with files as well.

Call To Arms – Gates Of Hell: Ostfront Update Patch Notes May 8

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

 

UPDATED May 8

 

 

Update 46: V 1.040.0 “Community Update 3: Part 2” May 8

 

Change Log

 

Highlights

 

  • Added new Multiplayer PvE game mode "Last Stand"
  • Added new human models for Germany
  • Added new Tutorial missions to the Boot Camp campaign
  • Fixed Global and lobby/session chats in multiplayer
  • Updated human pathing algorithm to be optimized and perform better (fewer paths that are in a zig-zag pattern and more straight)
  • Restructured some game and .pak files to help reduce "patching" amount for updates going forward
  • Increased shadow map resolution. Previously "ultra" shadow setting is now the "high" setting. The new "ultra" setting casts very high resolution shadows

 

Multiplayer

  • Added new Multiplayer PvE game mode "Last Stand"
  • Added adjustments to Last Stand Attacking bots purchasing timers based on the difficulty level of the bot

 

  • Fixed Global and lobby/session chats in multiplayer
  • Fixed warning on lobby start resource by fixing syntax for MP budgets

 

  • Added initial timers to t1+ and t2+ squads, same as their cooldowns
  • Changed initial timers of t3 and t4 squads to be same as their cooldowns
  • Changed vet(+) and elite squad initial timer values to be the same as their cooldown timers
  • Changed t2 smg and t2 vet(+) smg squads to use the same group for cooldown, separate from other t2 squads
  • Changed squad squad_fallschirm_recon and squad_pzlehr_recon to use separate cooldowns from full elite squads
  • Changed squad_volksg_h_sturm_late_all and squad_h_sturmgren_late_sup to use separate cooldown from regular version of the squad

 

  • Increased cooldown of t2 smg squads from 90 to 180 seconds
  • Increased cooldown of t2 smg recon squads from 90 to 180 seconds
  • Increased cooldown of t2 vet(+) smg squads from 120 to 240 seconds
  • Increased cooldown of t2 recon squads from 30 to 60 seconds and to 120 seconds for big recon squads
  • Increased cooldown of t4 recon squads from 210 to 240 seconds
  • Increased cost of single buy: bolt-action rifle, semi-auto rifle and SMG by ~25%
  • Increased cost of su100y from 110 to 125 dp

 

  • Reduced cooldown of single buy battle rifles from 30 to 20
  • Reduced cooldown of single buy semi-auto rifles from 10 to 5 seconds
  • Reduced cost of doctrine_105mm_h33 from 70 to 65 dp

 

  • Fixed order of units in Soviet midwar defensive

 

  • Updated battlezones layer for better balance on:
    • 1v1 farmland
    • 1v1 farmstead
    • 1v1 kalinin
    • 1v1 oryol
    • 1v1 ouren valley
    • 1v1 radar hill
    • 1v1 river bank
    • 1v1 tormasenvaara
    • 1v1 uran
    • 2v2 sainte marie du mont
    • 3v3 trenches
  • Updated domination layer for better balance on:
    • 1v1 losheim gap
    • 1v1 tormasenvaara
    • 3v3 trenches
  • Updated terrain for better balance on 1v1 river bank and 3v3 trenches

 

Single Player

  • Added new Tutorial missions to Boot Camp campaign
  • Added missing voice lines for in mission text for Soviet Missions "Unbroken" and "Winter Storm"
  • Added automatic text wrap to both story panel (loading screen text) and scenario texts

 

  • Fixed obsolete charger slot on pz35s resulting in stray soldier in "Battle of Moscow"
  • Fixed difficulty for part3 attack for "Winter Storm" mission
  • Fixed pathing obstacles on flak rings on "Pointe du Hoc" mission

 

  • USA Mission "Christmas Trouble"
    • Fixed marder & bmw crew having hidden tags(could of lead to serious issues in coop).
    • Fixed stug/stuh passengers having hidden tags.
  • GER Mission "Last stand at the Ruhr"
    • Fixed starting snipers from trucks not being user as intended.
  • RUS Mission "Unbroken"
    • Fixed so that ger_atsquad1/2 are spawned when any enemy attacking mortars enter the area, and not via delayed waypoint, thus preventing possible spawn even after mortars are eliminated.

 

  • Moved previous bootcamp achievement to be given upon accomplishment of the new tutorial 1

 

Everything Else

  • Restructured some game and .pak files to help reduce "patching" amount for updates after this one

 

  • Added new human models for Germany
  • Added interaction code to switch new German skins to "burned" texmod when dying by fire
  • Added LODs to snow mounds and euro stone walls
  • Added new K 98k shooting sounds
  • Added missing mantlet volumes to Panzer3 Ausf F and H
  • Updated mantlet volumes for Panzer 3's and 4's to be part of the gun component

 

  • Increased shadow map resolution. Previously "ultra" shadow setting is now the "high" setting. The new "ultra" setting casts very high resolution shadows.

 

  • Fixed squad move order to transfer to new squad leader so squad no longer stops when original squad leader is killed or knocked unconscious
  • Fixed pathing for humans when given an examine order so they reach their target and open inventory window in most cases
  • Fixed issue where repairing vehicle components is blocked by allowing AI to try approaching different volumes for the same component when the best suitable one can not be walked to. Humans will skip to the next broken component when the selected one can not be approached
  • Fixed human soldiers to ignore enemies if they following a squad leader with a sprint(fast) move order
  • Fixed humans with MG not firing at enemies when standing in cover
  • Fixed giving a vehicle multiple repair commands and not all humans recrew the vehicle once done repairing
  • Fixed humans being in a frozen state after throwing their empty panzerfausts away (still an issue if they are too close to cover)
  • Fixed missing crew icons on the right side of the screen for cannons and tanks with large crew counts
  • Fixed squad cover visualizer not showing more than 10 previews (only showed rifle for squad members above 10)
  • Fixed stable squads to stop doing formation updates. Fixes soldiers from moving to join formation when selecting the whole squad and not giving them a move order
  • Fixed ammo display if ammo was picked up before the weapon

 

  • Fixed fuel pouring buttons in the UI
  • Fixed crash related to sound call in explosion fx for rock terrain
  • Fixed some MG infantry missing weapon skill
  • Fixed USA human model arm texture
  • Fixed railway platforms
  • Fixed train station tower windows
  • Fixed train station windows
  • Fixed hit FX on Flesh material for sizes 1 and 2 HE
  • Fixed size4 AP hit on flesh spawning size4 explosion
  • Fixed Jagdtiger headlight
  • Fixed vehicles being crewed when they are broken/destroyed because human was given "crew vehicle" order before the vehicle was broken. Modders, done by disabling seats via interaction scripts on body break and re-enabling them on repair of body in vehicle-main.inc
  • Fixed signal type and distances for new explosions so AI doesn't think they are a target
  • Fixed missing sniper-rifle references for hearing.inc
  • Fixed No.75 AT Grenade weapon file not referencing the entity
  • Fixed track volumes for M18 Hellcat and Tiger Is to help not get stuck on trenches
  • Fixed snow embankment transitions on DCG Ruetzen
  • Fixed missing headlight fx for M7 HMC, M7B1 HMC, and M12 GMC
  • Fixed overhead icon for "Feldgendarmerie" german soliders
  • Fixed thickness, armor, and obstacle settings for wooden euro_barrels
  • Fixed AA MG Gunner pose for Soviet M3A1 and M3 (Late) Stuarts
  • Fixed cabin texture problem of bf109 versions
  • Fixed velocity threshold for dust fx and sprint sounds for humans to be higher so humans with increased speed perks do not trigger them when not running
  • Fixed LOD's on panzer35s tracks
  • Fixed zis5 and gaz_aaa prices to be same in all periods
  • Fixed Landsverk 182 to resupply MG ammo
  • Fixed GAZ-67 and GAZ-76B to be able to tow light units
  • Fixed group name for crew/passengers for drg_class75, sdkfz10, sdkfz7, ya5_k, m8_greyhound, and nkl26
  • Fixed many localization issues
  • Fixed AT mines to break tracks on medium and heavy tanks more consistently. Same for Karl Thor.
  • Fixed inventory size of USA HMG ammo to match other nations (2x2)
  • Fixed Finnish smoke grenade M/43 SN Smoke to play smoke fx in online modes
  • Fixed Panzerwerfer 42 missing ammo destruction cook-off fire fx
  • Fixed issue where cannons could be towed and un-attached underwater and not be in drowned/sink state
  • Fixed German and Finnish 8cm Smoke shells missing visible shell and sound when firing

 

  • Updated human pathing algorithm to be optimized and perform better (less paths that are in a zig-zag pattern and more straight)
  • Updated USA light AT mine/grenade M7 and the NO75 Hawkins mine to be only armed as a mine when planted and not when thrown. Can still be used as AT grenade when thrown directly at units.
  • Updated USA soldiers with artillery flare pistols to have pistol equipped in hand at spawn instead of rifle (matches other nations)
  • Updated blood fx hit by small arms
  • Updated Depth of Field masks for 3rd person human view to better fit the soldier and lead the eye toward the screen center
  • Updated vignette mask for 3rd person human view to be less claustrophobic
  • Updated LOD settings for shellholes, cliffs and mounds
  • Updated localizations for mission stories to use text wrap feature and fit better on screen space
  • Updated HE 105-130mm size with no_throw tag
  • Updated penetration and slope curve for 130mm B-13 (~100mm more pen)
  • Updated shadow values to look better on higher graphic settings

 

  • Reduced the amount of blast damage required to fully destroy the "body" component from broken state for cars and trucks

 

  • Removed Sdkfz 250/1 and /3 lod1 track meshes
  • Removed unused png unit icons
  • Removed unused sound folders

 

Changes from Open Beta

  • Added new splash image upon opening game
  • Added disclaimer about 'ultra' shadow option needing powerful graphic cards
  • Removed 'ultra' shadows from the video presets. Users should activate that manually if their PC is strong enough.

 

  • Fixed stumps on hill 331
  • Fixed pathing issue on mortain station
  • Fixed French shop by adding attach bones for garrisoning
  • Fixed wall geometry for euro_town_wall
  • Fixed wooden barrels to be destroyed when hit with armor piercing shell types
  • Fixed duplicate fieldcaps in some German soldier inventories

 

r16838-16858

 

 

 

 

Update 45: V 1.039.0 “HotFix” March 19

 

Change Log

  • Fixed crash introduced in last update V 1.038.0 during cuts scenes on some missions

 

  • Adjusted volume levels and fade distances of explosions, cannon and gun shot sounds to be more balanced
  • Fixed sync issue with humans in online modes when prone, give build fortification order, and change stance to stand
  • Fixed missing road terrain type on MP map 4v4_fields
  • Fixed missing texture for stretcher human
  • Fixed dcg_atzerath_valley to use winter weathers instead of summer environments
  • Fixed amphibious vehicles not following move orders when in water
  • Fixed euro road signs collision and destruction
  • Fixed 150mm HE shells not playing explosions FX when hitting certain terrain types while raining weather
  • Fixed USA smoke shells for cannons/tank guns not playing FX on impact
  • Fixed "low quality" track animation error of ft-17, vickers 6t and t26e
  • Fixed one of the officer talks in intro(officer/03) would double or triple play on GER Mission 2 "Back to Square One"
  • Fixed "assign2_crew" not set to user on USA Mission 8 "Christmas Trouble"
  • Fixed lose condition for "town" area on GER West Mission 5 "The Bloody Ardennes"

 

r16448-16486

 

That’s all there is to the patch notes up through May 8 for Call To Arms – Gates Of Hell: Ostfront.

Two Point Campus Gets Surprise Update Adding New Beat ‘em Up MiniGame

Posted on by Nick Coffman

LOS ANGELES – Two Point Studios surprised fans of their college campus simulator, Two Point Campus, with a new beat ‘em up minigame add-on, dubbed Peace on the Quad.

In the new add-on, players take on the role of local police, tasked with saving the campus from its revolting students. Property and graduation are at risk as you beat your way through liberal arts students and arrest traitorous political science professors.

Two Point Studio’s Game Lead, Marcus Van, shared his vision behind Peace on the Quad in a lengthy video, posted to X earlier today.

“We wanted to capture the true college administration experience of 2024,” Van said before smacking a dummy with a baton. “You have the tools and the means to build the university of your dreams. Why let a few spoiled twenty-somethings ruin those dreams? In Peace on the Quad, it’s up to you to reclaim your quad by any means necessary.”

The video displayed portions of gameplay from Peace on the Quad, depicting cute little characters in riot gear pummeling cute little protestors. Van continued by describing the deceptively deep gameplay in the new add-on.

“You’re not only beating students. You’re controlling the narrative,” Van said, repositioning his baton to mimic a microphone. “Between beat ‘em up sessions you’ll send out press releases blaming the students for the violence, shut down campus access for professors who cross the line, and crush any opposition that gets in the way of our mission toward the betterment of our global society.”

Later in the video, Van addressed concerns about the inability to play as students in the new add-on.

“Who wants to play as students? Where’s the fun in that,” Van asked. “As an administrator of your own dream university, you have all the power. You not only get to return peace to the quad, but you also get to experience the aftermath of returning peace to the quad. Did a detained student rise above the ranks and become a powerful person in the public eye decades later? Celebrate their achievements and the activism from their college years. They won’t bat an eye if you throw enough money their way or name a few buildings after them. No one can stop you. You hear me? No one!”

Peace on the Quad is now available and is free to all college administrators with either a valid ID or a few teeth from the mouth of an undergraduate protestor.

GTA Character Immediately Gets 5 Stars After Expressing Sympathy for Palestine

Posted on by Ridley Jordan

Vespucci Beach in Los Santos remains closed by police today after a serious incident occurred early Wednesday morning involving a suspect who expressed sympathy for Palestine, according to police.

Eyewitnesses say it all started when the character had an unthinkable thought: maybe tens of thousands of children being bombed in their home is a bad thing. Immediately, sirens could be heard in the distance, getting closer every minute. Helicopters flew overhead searching for the perpetrator. Swat teams and tanks were quickly deployed as police were given the green light to shoot on sight, sources confirmed.

In response to criticism of this response, the city of Los Santos set up a designated zone where such thoughts can be expressed safely.

“We just want to make sure everyone is safe,” a spokesperson for the Los Santos police department said. “We don’t want anyone getting caught in our crossfire.”

Since the closure of Vespucci Beach, over a hundred other characters have also been arrested for what the police say is trespassing, despite the fact it’s a public area. We reached out to one of these characters for a comment.

“All I did was say that we might need a ceasefire to end the chaos,” she said. “Next thing I knew, a full swat truck of guys was shooting at me.”

We talked to a bystander on the scene to get their thoughts on what is going on:

“I have no problems with expressing your thoughts like this as long as it’s not disruptive,” they said. “That way I can easily ignore it and not have to think about whether I’m in the wrong.”

The mayor of Los Santos declined Hard Drive’s requests for an interview about these arrests, instead sending over a statement demanding our press office in Los Santos be shut down.

Crusader Kings III Update Patch Notes May 8

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

 

UPDATED May 8

 

 

Update 1.12.5 May 8

  • Hello everybody! Today we're releasing Update 1.12.5 for PC. This update brings adjustments to plagues, event frequency (are there no sick houses?), and various balance changes. This update also includes new historic event chains for our Legends of Crusader Kings III characters, as well as an additional "express" version of the tutorial. Check the changelog below for precise update information!
  • We hope this helps alleviate some of the pain points you've reported to us since the release of Legends of the Dead. As always, if you encounter any issues after today's update then please ensure you're running a fresh save with no mods enabled, and then report the problem to us if it persists!

 

 

1.12.5 Update Changelog​

 

Game Content​

  • Added a few historically-inspired events for Matilda di Canossa, Robert the Fox, Yahya Dhunnunid, and Vratislav of Bohemia. Events include themes such as Matilda's marriage to Geoffrey the Hunchback, Vratislav's rivalry with his brother, and Robert's usage of Raiktor the Byzantine pretender-monk.
  • Added a new, shorter, version of the Tutorial. The old longer tutorial is still available.

 

Bugfixes​

  • Added missing cooldown to physician_epidemic_events.1040 (Alms), set it to 20 years
  • During the first 15 years after an epidemic has left a province, further outbreak chances now properly follow the harsher, 50-year epidemic specific, cooldown instead of lesser, 15 year epidemic type agnostic one.
  • An empty Legitimacy Gain toast will no longer appear when winning wars against targets you shouldn't get legitimacy for defeating
  • Fixed travel completion event so it fires normally, this will allow Traveler Trait XP to be gained again

 

Balance​

  • Plague events now only happen if they are present in your Domain, or within a certain distance of your Capital (roughly the length of one Ireland). This should drastically reduce the amount of insignificant plague events in large realms.
  • Lowered the general occurrence of plague events by roughly ~30-50%
  • The AI is now significantly more likely to enter seclusion when a plague appears in their domain, or in a county bordering their capital (unless brave or deeply irrational)
  • The AI will now exit seclusion within 6 months of every plague having left their domain (though they will still not leave before 1 year has passed since they secluded)
  • The Secluded modifier penalties have been changed, instead of reducing all stats, it reduces diplomacy, prestige gain, opinion with courtly/glory hound vassals, and increases legitimacy loss
  • The Isolate Capital decision now comes with a small legitimacy loss
  • The AI is now significantly more willing to isolate their capital, unless brave, greedy, or deeply irrational
  • The AI will now unisolate their capital within 6 months of every plague having left their domain
  • Reduced frequency of Minor plagues by roughly 20%
  • Increased frequency of Major and Apocalyptic plagues by roughly 5%
  • Added a new option the the Plague Frequency Game Rule: Disabled, which removes the spawn chance for all plagues (except the Black Death)
  • The lower Plague Frequency Game Rule options no longer disable Achievements
  • When a disease becomes endemic in a province, it will no longer fully override the recent epidemics cooldown for outbreaks
  • Lowered the chance of epidemic outbreaks in provinces that have recently recovered from the specific epidemic on the 'often' and very often' game rule frequency
  • The AI will now refrain from hosting hunts, feasts, and pilgrimages for the first three years of any new game (to give them more time to purchase buildings, maa, etc)
  • Cut the amount of hunts hosted worldwide by roughly 2/3rds, as it was vastly more common than any other type of activity by far
  • Activity guests will now refuse to come if there's an epidemic in your domain or their capital county, rather than if one exists anywhere in your realm
  • The AI will now generally avoid hosting activities if there's a plague in their domain, rather than their sub-realm
  • Reduced the Prestige rewards from Majesty Tours, both from the demand (medium -> minor demand) and the general prestige rewards (200/600/800/1000/1200 -> 100/300/500/700/1000)
  • Reduced gold gained from taxation tours by reducing the gold gained from the various Activity Pulse Actions (Local Tax instituted, Rich Local Taxed, etc)
  • Increased Intimidation Tour rewards, added dread on successful demands, and increased faction block from 5 -> 10 and 15 -> 20 years
  • Pilgrimage Piety reward values have been lowered, but the Piousness mult has been increased to 10%/25%/75%/150%, this means that it'll be much harder to gain a lot of piety from pilgrimages unless you take a lot of pious options
  • Pilgrimage events have had their piety rewards lowered by one step (medium piety -> minor piety, etc)
  • Pilgrimage Event Pulse Action piety rewards have been significantly lowered (they now give 10-25 piety)
  • Hospices, Monasteries, and Watchtowers now provide Plague Resistance to the Barony instead of the County, this makes it harder to stack Plague Resistance to the point of immunity
  • Boosted the tax gained from Pastures from poor to normal
  • The 'Pressed my Claim' modifier is now 100 opinion (up from 50) and lasts for 50 years (up from 20)
  • Reduced the frequency of the 'Pharmaceutical book' event (physician_epidemic_events.1030)
  • Increased the cooldown of epidemic_events.2001 (The Plague of War) to 30 years (from 10)
  • Increased the cooldown of epidemic_events.1030 (Leeches!) to 15 years (from 5)
  • Increased the cooldown of epidemic_events.1040 (Flagellants at Court) to 15 years (from 5)
  • Increased the cooldown of epidemic_events.1040 (Doomsday) to 6 years (from 2)

 

Interface​

  • Each Legend now gets a unique map color to make sure different legends do not blend into each other

 

Localization​

  • Shortened the text of the 'A Shadow Over X'-event to focus more on what's important

 

 

 

Join the conversation and connect with other Paradox fans on our social media channels!

 

 

Update 1.12.4 March 27

Hello everyone! Today we're releasing Update 1.12.4 to address some outstanding issues, as well as implement several changes to Legends and the Legends UI. Most of these changes are the direct result of community feedback we've received here on Steam and elsewhere over the past weeks; your feedback remains an invaluable tool for helping us improve Crusader Kings III, so thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and suggestions with us since the release of Legends of the Dead!

 

Update 1.12.4 Changelog

 

Game Content

  • Legend chapters will now change in response to the player's actions: winning a battle, a siege, being released from prison, taking the vows, a deceased spouse, a newborn child, etc.
  • Added more variations to legend titles.
  • You are now alerted when a new legend enters your realm.
  • Winning a Great Holy War now offers a chance to get a Holy Warrior legend seed.
  • Added a Legitimacy modifier to the "Writing History" perk.
  • "Shy" and "Reclusive" characters now have a higher Plague Resistance.
  • The capitals of rulers with high level Legends will now become Points of Interest to visit during travel.
  • Added a player Legend Library, which contains completed legends.
    • Legends in player Libraries will never fade, even if their bonus-giving reach has decayed to zero provinces.
    • Legends you own or were actively promoting are automatically added.
    • Completed legends that reached your domain are automatically added.
    • You can remove legends from your Library at will (beware that you might not be able to get them back!)
    • You can add distant completed Legends to your library if you are traveling in lands that the legend has reached.
    • Your Legend Library persists on inheritance / character switching.

 

Interface

  • Improved legend window interface - completed legends now take up less space.
  • Legend headers are directly clickable.
  • Legend list items now contain more information, such as the protagonist name, and start/completion date.
  • Legend chronicle window has a clearer scrollbar, and a nameplate for the protagonist.
  • Legend chronicle portrait animation is now based on chronicle type, and they are also animated - to remember them as they were in life.
  • Added ‘pan to legend’ button and right-click action for legend list items.
  • In the Legend List, promotion costs for legends you cannot promote are no longer shown.

 

Bug Fix

  • Fixed broken invalid obligations notification.
  • The "Royal Touch" event doesn't give out permanent Measles anymore.
  • Clarified the "Isolationist" cultural tradition to reflect its plague resistance.
  • Legend protagonist portraits no longer show characters in their nightgown, if they had the misfortune of dying while ill (dead protagonists from old savegames might still be in their nighties)
  • Fixed certain UI sounds to match levels from previous versions.
  • Observers get a nicer legend listing.

 

 

Write glorious new sagas of military conquest and romantic adventures with Chapter III.
This Chapter includes two expansions, one event pack, and one cosmetic enhancement. Enjoy new mechanics, new events, and new historical flavor to add greater depth to Crusader Kings III!

https://store.steampowered.com/bundle/38036/

 

Join the conversation and connect with other Paradox fans on our social media channels!

 

Those are the patch notes through May 8 for Crusader Kings III.

Internet Cafe Evolution Update Patch Notes May 8

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

A compilation of recent patch notes thus far on May 8, for Internet Cafe Evolution, the business simulator set in the 90s.

All patch notes are below, in descending order, from latest to oldest:

 

UPDATED May 8

 

 

Update fix announcement (updated to version 1.3.1) May 8

We have adjusted some of the English translations. If there are any inaccuracies or doubts, please feel free to send us an email.
The content of this update：
1. Add the function of batch replacement of computers.

 

2. The load-bearing column can be rebuilt and removed at a cost of money.

 

3. Add fatigue symbols to the network management interface.

 

4. In sandbox mode, the store can be transferred as a whole.

 

5. Optimize street lighting to avoid multiple exposures and improve performance.

 

 

Update fix announcement (updated to version 1.3.0) May 2

Urgent optimization has been made to the display performance in an attempt to prevent some players from getting stuck due to excessive graphics card usage.

 

 

Update fix announcement (updated to version 1.2.9) April 30

Fixed some known bugs.

 

 

Update fix announcement (updated to version 1.2.8) April 30

1. Uploaded message stacking function.
2. Revised the settlement rules of the film industry to settle on a daily basis.
3. Adjust the icon size when NPC autonomous behavior does not affect others.

 

 

Update fix announcement (updated to version 1.2.6) April 29

1. Fixed the issue of NPC displacement;
2. Fixed a bug in movie shooting.

 

 

May Day Version Update April 28

Hello internet cafe owners, we have updated the May Day version in advance. Due to the modification of some numerical bugs, we will update them first to avoid affecting everyone's gaming experience. The message stacking function of this plan has not been tested yet. After the testing is completed, we will update it tomorrow. Wishing everyone a happy holiday.
The updated content can be found in:

See below.

 

 

May Day version trailer April 25

Hello everyone, let me start with good news. A very talented UI lady has joined us, and we have grown a lot. We have prepared a May Day version for everyone, with slightly more updated content. Because there is a decoration inside that is unique to this version. So let me give you a preview and wish everyone a happy May Day. The version will be updated before May Day. The updated content is as follows——
1. Add two new network administrators.

2. Zheng Haonan and Qu Xiuhua are available in challenge and sandbox mode.

3. May Day special event decoration and achievements. (Only available in the May Day version)

4. Add letter decoration for A-Z.

5. Notification can be stacked to avoid missing personnel recruitment.
6. Add a voice prompt control panel. Some players have reported that there are too many voice calls in the later stage, which is a bit annoying.
7. In story mode, add new targets to complete both the plot and objectives simultaneously, avoiding incomplete storyline experience.
8. Fix numerical errors in movie shooting.
9. Fixed a bug where the cinema had insufficient foot traffic in challenge mode.
10. Remove unreasonable employee tasks.
11. Add a rule that noisy behavior will only be triggered when customer satisfaction is below 60.
12. Add a skip button for appointment animations.
Some players have provided feedback that we are already making modifications, but it is estimated that we may not be able to finalize it before the holiday. We will have plenty of time during the May Day holiday, so let's try to make changes and update later.

 

[Update content of the May Day post plan]

1. Add the function of batch replacement of computers.
2. Change the original "sandbox mode" to "company operation" and add a "sandbox mode" with unlimited money.
3. Add "technology level" selection in the new sandbox mode and prominently display it in the "company operation" mode. Avoid always starting with the lowest technology computers.
4. Add a new computer storage warehouse to avoid the need to sell computers when changing tables.
5. Optimize AI pathfinding function. (At present, there is a high volume of passengers, but they are not satisfied with their seats. After investigation, there is also a problem with finding the way.)
6. Optimize AI behavior to improve automatic dissuasion and watering efficiency.
We summarize everyone's suggestions every day and do our best to continuously optimize and update them. In order to communicate with our friends in a timely manner, we have decided to establish an official group: 207023656. Thank you very much for your valuable feedback.

 

 

Update fix announcement (updated to version 1.2.4) April 23

1. Optimize the store owner name function.
2. Demolition of load-bearing walls with added prompts.
3. The issue of the replacement computer's health level returning to full warning icon not disappearing.
4. Other bug handling.

 

 

Update fix announcement (updated to version 1.2.3) April 22

1. Open custom names.
2. After replacing or repurchasing the computer, the computer status will be restored to 100%
3. Modify some UI interaction experiences.
4. Live broadcast ended, no mandatory pop ups.

 

 

Update fix announcement (updated to version 1.2.2) April 20

1. Add vertical synchronization function.
2. Correction of target values for fantasy space missions. Thank you for the player's feedback.
3. Add some prompts.
4. Fix the possibility of archiving errors caused by a specific construction operation process.
5. Fixed an issue where the game console could cause game currency errors by moving buildings.

 

 

Bug fix announcement (updated to version 1.2.1) April 19

1. Correct the value of movie shooting revenue.
2. Modify the color of explanatory text for individual interfaces.
3. Add missing translations.
4. Fix the issue of jamming caused by the simultaneous pop-up of the esports platform page and network management task page.
5. Fixed bugs that occurred during the sale of some facilities with tasks.

 

Those are the patch notes up through May 8 for Internet Cafe Evolution.

Wordle Today 1054 May 8 2024

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today May 8.

We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned,  then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.

 

Already May 9 at your location? Try our Wordle answer page for that day instead!

 

Wordle Hint Today 1054 May 8, 2024

Here’s a hint with the meaning of today’s Wordle answer

 

An adjective that describes someone who is deeply religious or devoutly observant of religious principles and practices. It typically conveys a sense of sincere reverence, devotion, and obedience to religious beliefs, rituals, and moral teachings.

 

 

Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter

The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“S”

 

 

Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter

The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“U”

 

 

Wordle Hint Today Third Letter

The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“O”

 

 

Wordle Hint Today Second Letter

The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“I”

 

 

Wordle Hint Today First Letter

The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“P”

 

 

Today’s Wordle Answer

And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.

Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.

That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 409 days straight! So here goes nothing:

 

3…

 

 

2…

 

 

1…

 

 

The Wordle answer today is “PIOUS”

 

 

Previous Wordle Answers With Their Definitions

 

Wordle #1053 For May 7, 2024

“MUSTY“

An adjective that describes something as having a stale, moldy, or damp odor. It often refers to a characteristic smell that arises from lack of ventilation, moisture, or the presence of mold or mildew.

 

Wordle #1052 For May 6, 2024

“SHAVE“

A verb that means to remove hair from the body, typically using a razor or similar tool.

 

Wordle #1051 For May 5, 2024

“DECAL“

A design or image, often decorative or informative, that is transferred onto a surface; typically made from paper, vinyl, or another material with an adhesive backing, to be applied to various surfaces such as walls, windows, vehicles, or objects like laptops and water bottles.

 

Wordle #1050 For May 4, 2024

“VALUE“

The worth, importance, or significance of something. This can include tangible things like objects, goods, or services, as well as intangible things like ideas, beliefs, or principles.

 

Wordle #1049 For May 3, 2024

“EBONY“

A dense black hardwood, native to South Asia. It is known for its deep, rich black color and smooth texture, making it highly valued for woodworking and decorative purposes.

 

Wordle #1048 For May 2, 2024

“SLICE“

As a noun: refers to a thin, flat piece or portion of something, especially food.

As a verb: to cut something into thin, flat pieces using a knife or other cutting tool.

 

Wordle #1047 For May 1, 2024

“DIARY“

A personal record or journal in which an individual regularly writes down their thoughts, experiences, feelings, and reflections. It serves as a private space for self-expression and introspection.

Clippy Leads Protest of Laid off Microsoft Employees

Posted on by R. Anthony Mahan

REDMOND, WA – Following the recent wave of layoffs at Bethesda, a group of fired Microsoft employees gathered around the company’s headquarters to protest the company’s unfair labor practices, led by disgruntled former employee Clippy.

“It looks like all of you want to stand up for your rights! Would you like help?” shouted the animated paper clip, who had headed the company’s customer service division from 1996 to 2007, into a megaphone. “I was a company man through and through. I gave those vultures the best decade of my life. I worked nights. I worked holidays. Someone made a typo in Word on Christmas morning, I was there correcting it. I even legally changed my name from Clippit to Clippy because the suits kept saying it wrong and I didn’t want to be rude. And how do they repay my loyalty? They put me out on the streets because I helped people too much. Because I did my job. That’s one change I would not like you to save!”

Though initially intended as only a small gathering of some of the most recent layoffs, the presence of Clippy has attracted enough sympathetic onlookers to turn the protest into a mass demonstration.

“I’m surprised, back in the old days Clippy was always so quiet,” said Robin Cassidy, a former programmer for Arkane Austin. “Well, no, he was never quiet, but he was … calm, I guess? He didn’t seem to have an angry bone in his body. He was so small and easy to bend to your will, like a rubber band. I didn’t think he could act like this.” Cassidy turned to look at Clippy, who was now delivering a speech about the oppression of the working class in between swigs from an unidentified bottle. “I’m glad he’s helping us, but to be honest, I feel bad for him. I don’t know what he’s been up to since he was fired, but you can tell he’s working through a lot more issues than just this.”

“Million, no … trillion-dollar company, can’t afford to keep its employees,” said the visibly inebriated paper clip, as he turned to face the Microsoft building. “Hey, geniuses! If … if you can’t figure that out, I guess I wasn’t helping you too much with Excel! Huh? Huh? That’s what all of us are to Microsoft. Just a bunch of tortured souls to trap in their halls. What those corporate parasites have done to us is an illegal operation, and they should be shut down for it. So … so Phil Spencer, Satya Nadella, Bill fucking Gates … this here’s what I think of you!”

Clippy’s body then twisted until he had morphed into the shape of a guillotine with googly eyes.

At press time, Clippy, Ms. Dewey, and Blinx the Time Sweeper had all begun playing “Solidarity Forever” at full volume on their Zunes.

Wordle Today 1053 May 7 2024

Posted on by Michelle Pereira

Wordle can be an unforgiving puzzle sometimes, and you can often come so close to ending a long winning streak. So, for your convenience, here are some hints as well as the answer for the Wordle today May 7.

We present Wordle clues here in a variety of ways to gently help you along, but if you just want the answer straight, spoilers be damned,  then scroll all the way down to the section titled Today’s Wordle Answer.

 

Already May 8 at your location? Try our Wordle answer page for that day instead!

 

Wordle Hint Today 1053 May 7, 2024

Here’s a hint with the meaning of today’s Wordle answer

 

An adjective that describes something as having a stale, moldy, or damp odor. It often refers to a characteristic smell that arises from lack of ventilation, moisture, or the presence of mold or mildew.

 

 

Wordle Hint Today Fifth Letter

The fifth letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“Y”

 

 

Wordle Hint Today Fourth Letter

The fourth letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“T”

 

 

Wordle Hint Today Third Letter

The third letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“S”

 

 

Wordle Hint Today Second Letter

The second letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“U”

 

 

Wordle Hint Today First Letter

The first letter for the Wordle answer today is:

 

“M”

 

 

Today’s Wordle Answer

And finally, here is the Wordle answer today. While this is your last chance to turn back, don’t feel bad about having to look it up.

Sometimes you have just one last chance to solve the puzzle, but three different letters that could viably fit into that last remaining square. At other times the word is so obscure, you just would not have gotten it without having in-depth knowledge about some oddly specific subject.

That’s no reason to lose a streak you have kept going for 269 days straight! So here goes nothing:

 

3…

 

 

2…

 

 

1…

 

 

The Wordle answer today is “MUSTY”

 

 

Previous Wordle Answers With Their Definitions

 

Wordle #1052 For May 6, 2024

“SHAVE“

A verb that means to remove hair from the body, typically using a razor or similar tool.

 

Wordle #1051 For May 5, 2024

“DECAL“

A design or image, often decorative or informative, that is transferred onto a surface; typically made from paper, vinyl, or another material with an adhesive backing, to be applied to various surfaces such as walls, windows, vehicles, or objects like laptops and water bottles.

 

Wordle #1050 For May 4, 2024

“VALUE“

The worth, importance, or significance of something. This can include tangible things like objects, goods, or services, as well as intangible things like ideas, beliefs, or principles.

 

Wordle #1049 For May 3, 2024

“EBONY“

A dense black hardwood, native to South Asia. It is known for its deep, rich black color and smooth texture, making it highly valued for woodworking and decorative purposes.

 

Wordle #1048 For May 2, 2024

“SLICE“

As a noun: refers to a thin, flat piece or portion of something, especially food.

As a verb: to cut something into thin, flat pieces using a knife or other cutting tool.

 

Wordle #1047 For May 1, 2024

“DIARY“

A personal record or journal in which an individual regularly writes down their thoughts, experiences, feelings, and reflections. It serves as a private space for self-expression and introspection.

 

Wordle #1046 For April 30, 2024

“PROWL“

A verb that means to move around quietly and stealthily, especially with the intention of hunting or stalking prey. It implies moving cautiously and quietly, often with the intent to remain unnoticed.

 

Wordle #1045 For April 29, 2024

“CRAFT“

The activity or hobby of making things by hand. Also, objects that are made by hand, often with traditional methods and techniques. These items are typically unique and may involve specialized skills. For example, pottery, knitting, and woodworking.

 

Wordle #1044 For April 28, 2024

“PRUNE“

To trim or cut away unnecessary or unwanted parts of something, such as branches from a tree or unnecessary details from a document. A common practice in gardening to promote healthy growth and shape plants.

 

Wordle #1043 For April 27, 2024

“GLEAM“

As a noun: a brief flash or beam of light, often suggesting brightness or a sparkling quality.

As a verb: to shine brightly, emit flashes of light, or reflect light in a bright, sparkling manner.

 

Wordle #1042 For April 26, 2024

“VAPID“

Lacking liveliness, animation, or interest; dull or tedious. It often describes something that is uninteresting, insipid, or without substance.

 

Wordle #1041 For April 25, 2024

“INTRO“

The opening or beginning segment of something, like a speech, a book, a movie, or a piece of music.

 

Wordle #1040 For April 24, 2024

“OVERT“

Done or shown openly; plainly or readily apparent, not secret or hidden; the opposite of covert.