Kyoto, Japan — In the latest Nintendo Direct Mini, Game Designer and Representative Director announced the long-awaited debut of a new character in the Super Mario universe, Wet Bones.

Refraining from directly addressing the lack of mainline Switch 2 games, Miyamoto spent the majority of the Direct focusing on the announcement that Wet Bones will make his debut in 2027.

“Mario games are a fun distraction from the real world, but they are a reflection of our times and a showcase of how far humanity has fallen,” said Miyamoto, stroking a 3D-printed replica of Wet Bones. “Koopa Troopas are loyal foot soldiers that have a silly side. Dry Bones represent death in a comic form. Wet Bones is from a place where decay has replaced joy and rotting insides are expressed outwardly, much like the current state of the world’s populace. In 2024, both humanity and technology will reach a level where Wet Bones can appear in his fully realized form.”

According to sources, the character concept for Wet Bones has been in production for nearly three decades. Designer Toma Noriyuki spent years working directly under Miyamoto, expressly to get the depiction of Wet Bones to his specifications.

“After creating Dry Bones in 1988 for ‘Super Mario Bros. 3,’ Miyamoto-San selected me to bring his concept of Wet Bones to life,” Noriyuki said from his quarters at Tokyo Metropolitan Masuzawa Psychiatric Hospital. “I was honored to work on this pet project, but his notes were unorthodox and seemed to come during times of personal stress and political strife. The key elements were that Wet Bones should resemble toxic waste combined with flu phlegm and appear as ‘the color of the feeling of nausea’ with the consistency of a sticky sponge.”

Noriyuki’s team studied the manga of Junji Ito, the art of Salvador Dali, and the films of Takashi Miike, Brian Yuzma, and David Cronenberg. 

“I have always trusted Miyamoto, this company is built on his creative mind,” said

Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser. “I heard rumors about Wet Bones, but that his team had delayed his debut over the years by introducing characters like Mega Dry Bones, Red Bones, and Dark Bones. I know it’s inevitable that Wet Bones will be featured soon, who am I to fight it? It will be interesting to see sales of the first game in the mainline mario series that will be ESRB rated 17+.”

Miyamoto stated that more information will be released in the coming months, with an entire Nintendo Direct being devoted to Wet Bones’ power set, specifically that although immune to fireballs, fireballs cause him to release a noxious odor.